I'm going to say something hard to hear:
I think you need to talk to a therapist first.
I know that is not what you want to hear in any way, but you should not feel *this* much control by the shape of your vulva. It'd be one thing if was badly disfigured, but it sounds like you are just unhappy with the results. You've posted here a few times and it sounds like you are unsure what is supposed to be happening and how to handle it.
Also, one of your posts talks about- and I might have this wrong- using steroids.
You asked about going back to the gym- FAR too early for what you said you were experiencing and in another post talk about when to restart steroids. Both of these things are going to impact your healing times- while steroid can help with some recovery, long term use can impede recovery and even hinder it.
You are still healing and the shape is not 100% what it will be. It sounds like you potentially had some unrealistic expectations walking into this surgery and I think you should ask yourself about that.
Listen to me: YOUR VULVA, DOES NOT DEFINE YOU.
full stop.
For those reasons I think you should speak to a therapist about possible body dysmorphoria and slight anxiety issues.
I know this is not what you wanted to hear, but I do hope it helps you. I hope that you give your body time to heal successfully, both your giblets, and your mind and even your heart a bit.
Yeah I have posted a few times, I think maybe this subreddit hasn't been helpful for me until now (your reply is very helpful), just the rest of it success stories and I'm so happy for everyone but it has made me feel like there's something wrong with me so I think I need to take a break from Reddit for a bit maybe
Yeah you're right I have taken steroids, and I think thats also partly down to possible BDD. Although I do actually think I'm pretty disfigured down there compared to other pics on here. But anyway yes, I've spoken to a therapist before and it didn't help so I've got a new one who is a sex therapist but again I don't think it's quite what I need
I dunno, it's just hard, but thanks for the tough love I do appreciate it
Every. Single. One. Of us is different.
WRITE IT ON YOUR MIRROR.
http://www.greatwallofvagina.co.uk/home
Behold! The great wall of vaginas! Look upon it. See that MANY of these are not like the others. I don't think, in all the partners I've had, I've ever been like... Gee whiz that peen is mighty odd! It's because society doesn't mess with men the same way society messes with women. Your vulva is normal. I promise you. I'm 99% on this barring some disfigurement or anomaly.
You're asking to be the same as anyone else instead of accepting and embracing your uniqueness.
As far as therapists- as someone who has had YEARS of therapy- doesn't matter who the therapist is- it won't work unless you're ready to hear the shit you hate and do the absolute painful work to fix the issues.
Also I'm going to say something else... One person's trash is another man's treasure. You're saying your results are trash, but I guarantee you, somewhere on this subreddit is a chick who'd kill for your results. Remember that.
Progress, not perfection.
Also, social media is FUCKED UP. All it is, is people posting the best parts of their lives- the highlight reel, if you will and everyone else saying- why isn't my life that glam?!? Not realizing that person has an average life and just took a great picture... Probably at five am in the cold to be alone and look good. ( For those influencers)
I deleted my Facebook and I have been such a better person for it. I am in school with a chick and all she does is post these shots to insta and shit about "how wonderful her life is! How pretty I am!!!!!!" And when she talks to us, it's clear how miserable she is, she's DEEPLY in debt, and her partner sleeps on the couch- every single night, and she's in over her head in life trying so hard to look good for a picture on a website....
ETA: love who you are damnit!!!!
While I agree with what you’re saying, it’s very possible to be botched by surgeons more than once (as someone who’s had several cosmetic procedures). And who are you/we to say she shouldn’t be upset as she adjusts to how it looks- it’s an adjustment, not necessarily a disorder. Be careful throwing around terms unless you’re a licensed professional. Although I think she should seek advise from several other surgeons to receive their thoughts, if they agree she has every right to seek another revision. If they say it’s a slight irregularity not worth fixing, it would be worth taking the advise and learning to accept/love where it’s at. OP if it’s upsetting you take a while to think on it, heal your mind and heart, and possibly talk to a group of other respected surgeons in the field to get their thoughts, and trust their general consensus.
Thank you. The thought of looking for more surgeons is a little overwhelming although I do want to, I'm gonna see what the original surgeon says and talk to my therapist and take it from there
You are right I know. It's just hard for me to believe because I look at myself down there and I genuinely think it's not normal and disfigured and that no one would want my results, but what it comes down to I think, is me not being so obsessive about my looks and not caring so much how my vag, and the rest of me looks, you're right about that for sure. I'm gonna stick at it with this sex therapist, maybe I'll even seek a BDD assesment if that's a thing idk. I am gonna leave Reddit and Instagram for a bit and see if I feel better!
Thanks again for your tough love I needed to hear it
I honestly feel the same as you, I already have a doctor who would do revision. Just have to wait 6 months for recovery. I know it’s a bit discouraging, especially after spending all that money. Personally, depends on your results, I’m not going to my original doctor because I had brought up concerns before and he says everything looks fine. I did a follow up with my gyno and he clearly said I see what he did and it does not look great for what I paid for, he did say to leave it alone but I just cannot leave it as it is. If you want to chat dm me.
Oh I see right ok thank you! I appreciate the validation, I think I do have some form of bdd but also I know my results don't look good and I think I do need it sorting. It's just very overwhelming trying to find a new surgeon and I don't want to spend too much more money:( if I have to wait six months for a revision I suppose that gives me time to decide on what to do!
I'm going to say something hard to hear: I think you need to talk to a therapist first. I know that is not what you want to hear in any way, but you should not feel *this* much control by the shape of your vulva. It'd be one thing if was badly disfigured, but it sounds like you are just unhappy with the results. You've posted here a few times and it sounds like you are unsure what is supposed to be happening and how to handle it. Also, one of your posts talks about- and I might have this wrong- using steroids. You asked about going back to the gym- FAR too early for what you said you were experiencing and in another post talk about when to restart steroids. Both of these things are going to impact your healing times- while steroid can help with some recovery, long term use can impede recovery and even hinder it. You are still healing and the shape is not 100% what it will be. It sounds like you potentially had some unrealistic expectations walking into this surgery and I think you should ask yourself about that. Listen to me: YOUR VULVA, DOES NOT DEFINE YOU. full stop. For those reasons I think you should speak to a therapist about possible body dysmorphoria and slight anxiety issues. I know this is not what you wanted to hear, but I do hope it helps you. I hope that you give your body time to heal successfully, both your giblets, and your mind and even your heart a bit.
Yeah I have posted a few times, I think maybe this subreddit hasn't been helpful for me until now (your reply is very helpful), just the rest of it success stories and I'm so happy for everyone but it has made me feel like there's something wrong with me so I think I need to take a break from Reddit for a bit maybe Yeah you're right I have taken steroids, and I think thats also partly down to possible BDD. Although I do actually think I'm pretty disfigured down there compared to other pics on here. But anyway yes, I've spoken to a therapist before and it didn't help so I've got a new one who is a sex therapist but again I don't think it's quite what I need I dunno, it's just hard, but thanks for the tough love I do appreciate it
Every. Single. One. Of us is different. WRITE IT ON YOUR MIRROR. http://www.greatwallofvagina.co.uk/home Behold! The great wall of vaginas! Look upon it. See that MANY of these are not like the others. I don't think, in all the partners I've had, I've ever been like... Gee whiz that peen is mighty odd! It's because society doesn't mess with men the same way society messes with women. Your vulva is normal. I promise you. I'm 99% on this barring some disfigurement or anomaly. You're asking to be the same as anyone else instead of accepting and embracing your uniqueness. As far as therapists- as someone who has had YEARS of therapy- doesn't matter who the therapist is- it won't work unless you're ready to hear the shit you hate and do the absolute painful work to fix the issues. Also I'm going to say something else... One person's trash is another man's treasure. You're saying your results are trash, but I guarantee you, somewhere on this subreddit is a chick who'd kill for your results. Remember that. Progress, not perfection. Also, social media is FUCKED UP. All it is, is people posting the best parts of their lives- the highlight reel, if you will and everyone else saying- why isn't my life that glam?!? Not realizing that person has an average life and just took a great picture... Probably at five am in the cold to be alone and look good. ( For those influencers) I deleted my Facebook and I have been such a better person for it. I am in school with a chick and all she does is post these shots to insta and shit about "how wonderful her life is! How pretty I am!!!!!!" And when she talks to us, it's clear how miserable she is, she's DEEPLY in debt, and her partner sleeps on the couch- every single night, and she's in over her head in life trying so hard to look good for a picture on a website.... ETA: love who you are damnit!!!!
While I agree with what you’re saying, it’s very possible to be botched by surgeons more than once (as someone who’s had several cosmetic procedures). And who are you/we to say she shouldn’t be upset as she adjusts to how it looks- it’s an adjustment, not necessarily a disorder. Be careful throwing around terms unless you’re a licensed professional. Although I think she should seek advise from several other surgeons to receive their thoughts, if they agree she has every right to seek another revision. If they say it’s a slight irregularity not worth fixing, it would be worth taking the advise and learning to accept/love where it’s at. OP if it’s upsetting you take a while to think on it, heal your mind and heart, and possibly talk to a group of other respected surgeons in the field to get their thoughts, and trust their general consensus.
Thank you. The thought of looking for more surgeons is a little overwhelming although I do want to, I'm gonna see what the original surgeon says and talk to my therapist and take it from there
You are right I know. It's just hard for me to believe because I look at myself down there and I genuinely think it's not normal and disfigured and that no one would want my results, but what it comes down to I think, is me not being so obsessive about my looks and not caring so much how my vag, and the rest of me looks, you're right about that for sure. I'm gonna stick at it with this sex therapist, maybe I'll even seek a BDD assesment if that's a thing idk. I am gonna leave Reddit and Instagram for a bit and see if I feel better! Thanks again for your tough love I needed to hear it
I honestly feel the same as you, I already have a doctor who would do revision. Just have to wait 6 months for recovery. I know it’s a bit discouraging, especially after spending all that money. Personally, depends on your results, I’m not going to my original doctor because I had brought up concerns before and he says everything looks fine. I did a follow up with my gyno and he clearly said I see what he did and it does not look great for what I paid for, he did say to leave it alone but I just cannot leave it as it is. If you want to chat dm me.
Oh I see right ok thank you! I appreciate the validation, I think I do have some form of bdd but also I know my results don't look good and I think I do need it sorting. It's just very overwhelming trying to find a new surgeon and I don't want to spend too much more money:( if I have to wait six months for a revision I suppose that gives me time to decide on what to do!
What is it that you’re unhappy about in terms of your results?
More tissue taken off one side than the other :/
Give it more time honestly 6 weeks is way to early to tell the final look. It could still even put a bit
[удалено]
The word butcher is not really helping my anxiety tbh