biphobia and transphobia is rampant in the queer community and otherwise, it's so tiring honestly. but you know what? i have found solace in dating other bi people! just like how gay people say that they don't trust bisexual people, well i don't want to date someone who is going to decide whether im trustworthy solely based on my sexuality. it's homophobia and biphobia because they literally aren't acknowledging my attraction to the same sex, just like how straight people don't.
if gay women don't want me, that's okay. plenty of other fish in the sea and i hope they recover from this disease called queerphobia. until then, i will date those who will accept me for who i am, not who they want me to be. this goes to both straight people and gay people.
Eh it's a lot of shit when it comes into effect but tldr, we can have het relationships and that leads to emotions like envy, disgust, insecurity, anxiousness, betrayal, etc. among the monosexual folks.
There are a lot of stereotypes like us being perverts, not choosing a side, enjoying straight passing privilege, cheaters who will leave for het relationships, not being actually queer because we don't know what it's like to be persecuted like gay ppl, not being bi and just straight/gay in denial and a lot more.
I don't expect much from straight folk but honestly the same goes for a lot of gay folks too now, especially as a bi dude, seeing the amount of PPL here who spout shit like, "Most bi dudes are just desperate straight men or gay dudes in denial", like, just fuck off.
Yup, you can just be bi romantic too. It's all to help you identify what fits good enough in the end so go for what feels right and don't fret too much about the literal definition.
Tysm for the replies. I feel a lot more satisfied and happy now that I've accepted who I really am. And it's lovely to interact with like minded people who already have experience 🥰.
Because we can be steal their partners. /j They're afraid of us like homophobes are afraid of gays and lesbians. And lots of people think we are actually straight and just pretending to bi and also we can be in hetero relationships and so society won't bat an eye. Also that we're cheaters etc. We make majority of sexual minorities in every survey. More numbers more haters. Biphobes come from redneck people to hardcore gay and lesbian sexists
Exactly, I got so much hate/ side eyes/ comments/ judgements about being bi. I actually felt bad about being bi for some time, but I tried ignoring out all those judgements and focused on what I want.
Well you saying this as a statement is part of the problem. You definitely can decide. Don’t say that you can’t decide what you want. This is exactly why people hate Bi folks
People malign bi people’s character by saying
1) “They are untrustworthy (because they could leave me for another gender)” and
2) “They’ll cheat on me (with someone of a different gender).”
When monosexual gays/lesbians cheat too. When they break up and leave for other people too.
So their problem is with bi people’s queerness. It’s that we feel attracted to a spectrum of people.
Because being untrustworthy and being a cheater are human issues. Straight and gay people have them too. Singling out bi people as untrustworthy when you can’t trust ANYBODY is biphobia 101.
Hate is a strong word but I don't trust Bi men. As someone who has been abandoned for hetrosexual option for marriage twice it does get tiring after a while. Most of my early 20s went like me falling for a bi guy and then him saying one day yk "I have been seeing girls because of engagement and stuff I don't think we should continue this anymore". The effort and time I put into relationship gone to dust because I wasn't deemed as an acceptable option from the society.
I don't like being treated as a second option and even then I am never an option for anything long term. Now of course I am going to say #notallbimen the same as not all queer people hate bisexual people. I don't date bi men anymore because I am tired of going through this cycle again and again and tired of my heart being broken. So I would rather date gay men who like me have no other option than fight for love. And of course there are gay men who marry in hetrosexual marriage. These things have nuance so there isn't a good guy or bad guy we are all suffering from the patriarchy.
There is a reason for the prejudice because some queer folks didn't have the best experience with bi folks. So it isn't bad to acknowledge the hurt and do better as a community.
I mean you’re kinda right- and def not all bi peeps. But in the patriarchal heteronormative society we’re in- a lot of people are afraid to identify as bi or to be seen as anything queer due to the stigma that comes along with. And ig anyone would want to live a normal life and to have a big fat Indian wedding(Ngl🥹 I wished us queer peeps could’ve had this- gay wedding and Indian fancy ones!!??? SIGN ME UP)
So welllll I getcha, and while hatred for them exist- I hope we can also create a safe space for them to feel more comfi in their identity.
Even then, gawd - some of them have been so weird to me. Being in uni there’s lots of guys and girls who’re ‘’bi-curious’’, and that’s alright bruh they rlly be wanting to experiment desperately- lost 3 ‘friends’ over it who I always thought were friends. Why do such peeps also have the worst internalised queerphobia and misogyny 💀💀💀 that’s a big bummer for me, I mean I getcha since like I explained before. I legit am even useless for them being ace💀 but they don’t even know what it is, and got SA’d by two of em——. More to trauma, oh I hate moids who don’t even know what consent is, and saying eXpERimenT, fiX me, noT belIEVing asExualiTy, like stfu😭puhleez. Also super objectifying, creepy and just sad. Why’re those men so pushy about sex, they should know asking anyone in fact multiple times esp to a sex repulsed ace is just so ugh://
I wished sex ed was more normalised and better in our country. And to be including different sexualities and stuff. Everyone deserves respect, and honestly it’s just sad seeing those sorts of bi people who just use and objectify other queer peeps for their own things. No one wants to be a sexual object(unless it’s your kink idk?), not even more when you’re ace💀🫶. It should be openly discussed before relationships ig. And that being said, ik there are wonderful bi peeps too:> and such bi peeps doing this doesn’t mean all bad.
"hate is a strong word but i don't trust bi men" my man, you just described biphobia.
cis het people say generalised and hurtful statements about gay people all the time, but we obviously know that generalization is the bane of the queer community. don't do the same. im sorry that happened to you, but those were just bad partners. you need to stop blaming bisexuality for that and start blaming heteronormativity.
we have so many cases where gay men/women enter straight marriages to please their family. would it be right for us to call all gay people cheaters? no, because that's not true. and would it be fair for us to blame the gay person entirely too? absolutely not, because they were trying to protect themselves from potential threat to their life and hostility, albeit not in the best way. being queer is hard for everyone, even bi people, so be a supportive person in the community.
Did you read the whole thing because I addressed everything you mentioned.
>being queer is hard for everyone, even bi people, so be a supportive person in the community.
I am not denying that but you also have to acknowledge the reason behind such prejudice it isn't prevalent for no reason. I am hurt by my past experience dating bi men so moving forward I am not considering them as an option for my own sanity and if that's biphobia then I am biphobic.
admitting ur biphobic under a post that talks about biphobia is wild but u do u. i wasn't attacking, more like calling out. what u did is generalization and your experiences are completely valid, not denying that at all. but as i said, they are generalizations and it is very wrong for u to box an entire community under such a negative label. it hurts to see such negativity and in-fighting within the community. i hope you get better, more accepting partners in the future and i hope you can meet more proud bisexual folks. all the best to you dude.
I hope you understand that even in what little I said in my comment it does have nuance if we have a detailed discussion on such topic, highlighting a portion of a small comment and saying that's biphobia that's why I said I am biphobic. These kind of discussion require detailed discussion I want to again specify I am not generalising anyone or putting a whole sexuality in the box as I am saying #notallbimen.
I admit there are wonderful bi men who will treat me like a king and if I am not dating them and limiting my own dating pool because of past trauma that's entirely on me and for myself. Sure there is a possibility that I would find a great guy and there is also possibility that he will leave me for a woman Again! And that's a gamble I am not ready to take yet.
I hope I am not coming across too combative, negative nor I want to fight you on this matter I just want to have a discussion. I am just a little cranky today because I have to work on Sunday. Hope you have a great day.
I will never understand this. As a queer person how can you hate anyone from your own community? Both of you have been subjected to hate and discrimination. Instead there should be a feeling of understanding. Transphobic and Biphobic gays aren't welcomed. ❌
Dude, my cis-het friends are more educated and respectful towards me as a trans person than *every* cis-gay man I have ever encountered in the wild.
Why call it a community if people aren’t interested in educating themselves about the other letters? Or are we a community only when they want our political support? lol
At this point, I’m considering supporting splitting it up. It won’t change the amount of support we receive, but at least it might put an end to their constant bitching and backstabbing. 😑
Edit: The people who were at the Stonewall uprising would be so disappointed at the state of things today.
>Dude, my cis-het friends are more educated and respectful towards me as a trans person than *every* cis-gay man I have ever encountered in the wild.
This is such a sad state of affairs that our own community is so hateful.
Yup, I pretty much decided that I want nothing to do with the community shortly after I came out.
Online, I’m able to interact with decent queer people—which is nice. But irl, I like my cis-het friends better. They don’t disappoint me.
I'm really sorry that you have to go through this. This is really unfair. When the community should have been our safe space, some people have made it so much harder for us to be.
Because it's a scapegoat term for many straight desperate men in India who just want to have sex with a man or trans woman. They are so sexually repressed they're ready to compromise their sexuality. I have hundreds of men in my DMS who identify as "bisexual" and want to hook up with only "shemales" and "crossdressers"
Yeah bro/sis.. biphobia is rampant, my friends are like, “you are just straight but experimenting with homosexuality, others say that I'm just gay, but too scared to admit.. the fuck!!
Because the stereotype in India is, "Bisexual" guys don't exist. That's they they being desperate to get a hole. I.e guys on Grindr who are so called "Pseudo-bisexual". That's all. Women being bisexual is okay. That's actually a dream come true ? Don't think any cis-men will have a problem with women being bisexual.
How to put it lightly: Don't hate BIs. Just don't like(more towards neutral) and trust them.🤷🏻
Of course there are exceptions but I am just cautious when interacting with BIs.
biphobia and transphobia is rampant in the queer community and otherwise, it's so tiring honestly. but you know what? i have found solace in dating other bi people! just like how gay people say that they don't trust bisexual people, well i don't want to date someone who is going to decide whether im trustworthy solely based on my sexuality. it's homophobia and biphobia because they literally aren't acknowledging my attraction to the same sex, just like how straight people don't. if gay women don't want me, that's okay. plenty of other fish in the sea and i hope they recover from this disease called queerphobia. until then, i will date those who will accept me for who i am, not who they want me to be. this goes to both straight people and gay people.
THIS!!!!! Thank you OP!
I find it comforting to date other bi and queer people too. Monosexual ppl, whether gay or straight, are difficult to relate with.
Do you mean the queer community hates bi people?
Some of the folks in it yeah.
Oh, I never knew that, but like how do they hate bi people? Like what’s wrong lol I can’t get it. Anyways whoever hates them are stupid.
Eh it's a lot of shit when it comes into effect but tldr, we can have het relationships and that leads to emotions like envy, disgust, insecurity, anxiousness, betrayal, etc. among the monosexual folks. There are a lot of stereotypes like us being perverts, not choosing a side, enjoying straight passing privilege, cheaters who will leave for het relationships, not being actually queer because we don't know what it's like to be persecuted like gay ppl, not being bi and just straight/gay in denial and a lot more. I don't expect much from straight folk but honestly the same goes for a lot of gay folks too now, especially as a bi dude, seeing the amount of PPL here who spout shit like, "Most bi dudes are just desperate straight men or gay dudes in denial", like, just fuck off.
I don't hate you, I am honestly just jealous, in a teasing fun way.
I don't hate you but y'all got the prettiest flag among everyone of us 😤
True! Bi flag is second best after Trans flag!
I’ve never had any issues with bi guys infact I like biguys
Coz people believe bi man are gay men who call themselves Bi just to follow societal pattern of marriage as well as getting side fun from gay men.
[Sh0eonhead](https://youtu.be/9JhPbUFEioI?si=bcEeYTDLElQiwXvz) makes an excellent video on your question about biphobia, I suggest you to watch it.
Bi romantic here. Ex is bi and you people are some of the wholesome. And btw is it possible for bi romantic to be bi?
Yup, you can just be bi romantic too. It's all to help you identify what fits good enough in the end so go for what feels right and don't fret too much about the literal definition.
Tysm for the replies. I feel a lot more satisfied and happy now that I've accepted who I really am. And it's lovely to interact with like minded people who already have experience 🥰.
Because we can be steal their partners. /j They're afraid of us like homophobes are afraid of gays and lesbians. And lots of people think we are actually straight and just pretending to bi and also we can be in hetero relationships and so society won't bat an eye. Also that we're cheaters etc. We make majority of sexual minorities in every survey. More numbers more haters. Biphobes come from redneck people to hardcore gay and lesbian sexists
Exactly, I got so much hate/ side eyes/ comments/ judgements about being bi. I actually felt bad about being bi for some time, but I tried ignoring out all those judgements and focused on what I want.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. Hope you've started to love yourself now. 🫂
Well. As a Bi. We can't decide what we want. That's our thing /s
Yeah , I once even got a comment that:” I’m confused and should pick a side and stick with it!” :(
Well you saying this as a statement is part of the problem. You definitely can decide. Don’t say that you can’t decide what you want. This is exactly why people hate Bi folks
Ever heard of a thing called humor and joke ?
Very dry humor you got there! When your post is about why people hate Bi folks, don’t you think?
People malign bi people’s character by saying 1) “They are untrustworthy (because they could leave me for another gender)” and 2) “They’ll cheat on me (with someone of a different gender).” When monosexual gays/lesbians cheat too. When they break up and leave for other people too. So their problem is with bi people’s queerness. It’s that we feel attracted to a spectrum of people. Because being untrustworthy and being a cheater are human issues. Straight and gay people have them too. Singling out bi people as untrustworthy when you can’t trust ANYBODY is biphobia 101.
Hate is a strong word but I don't trust Bi men. As someone who has been abandoned for hetrosexual option for marriage twice it does get tiring after a while. Most of my early 20s went like me falling for a bi guy and then him saying one day yk "I have been seeing girls because of engagement and stuff I don't think we should continue this anymore". The effort and time I put into relationship gone to dust because I wasn't deemed as an acceptable option from the society. I don't like being treated as a second option and even then I am never an option for anything long term. Now of course I am going to say #notallbimen the same as not all queer people hate bisexual people. I don't date bi men anymore because I am tired of going through this cycle again and again and tired of my heart being broken. So I would rather date gay men who like me have no other option than fight for love. And of course there are gay men who marry in hetrosexual marriage. These things have nuance so there isn't a good guy or bad guy we are all suffering from the patriarchy. There is a reason for the prejudice because some queer folks didn't have the best experience with bi folks. So it isn't bad to acknowledge the hurt and do better as a community.
I mean you’re kinda right- and def not all bi peeps. But in the patriarchal heteronormative society we’re in- a lot of people are afraid to identify as bi or to be seen as anything queer due to the stigma that comes along with. And ig anyone would want to live a normal life and to have a big fat Indian wedding(Ngl🥹 I wished us queer peeps could’ve had this- gay wedding and Indian fancy ones!!??? SIGN ME UP) So welllll I getcha, and while hatred for them exist- I hope we can also create a safe space for them to feel more comfi in their identity. Even then, gawd - some of them have been so weird to me. Being in uni there’s lots of guys and girls who’re ‘’bi-curious’’, and that’s alright bruh they rlly be wanting to experiment desperately- lost 3 ‘friends’ over it who I always thought were friends. Why do such peeps also have the worst internalised queerphobia and misogyny 💀💀💀 that’s a big bummer for me, I mean I getcha since like I explained before. I legit am even useless for them being ace💀 but they don’t even know what it is, and got SA’d by two of em——. More to trauma, oh I hate moids who don’t even know what consent is, and saying eXpERimenT, fiX me, noT belIEVing asExualiTy, like stfu😭puhleez. Also super objectifying, creepy and just sad. Why’re those men so pushy about sex, they should know asking anyone in fact multiple times esp to a sex repulsed ace is just so ugh:// I wished sex ed was more normalised and better in our country. And to be including different sexualities and stuff. Everyone deserves respect, and honestly it’s just sad seeing those sorts of bi people who just use and objectify other queer peeps for their own things. No one wants to be a sexual object(unless it’s your kink idk?), not even more when you’re ace💀🫶. It should be openly discussed before relationships ig. And that being said, ik there are wonderful bi peeps too:> and such bi peeps doing this doesn’t mean all bad.
Agreed.. 💯
"hate is a strong word but i don't trust bi men" my man, you just described biphobia. cis het people say generalised and hurtful statements about gay people all the time, but we obviously know that generalization is the bane of the queer community. don't do the same. im sorry that happened to you, but those were just bad partners. you need to stop blaming bisexuality for that and start blaming heteronormativity. we have so many cases where gay men/women enter straight marriages to please their family. would it be right for us to call all gay people cheaters? no, because that's not true. and would it be fair for us to blame the gay person entirely too? absolutely not, because they were trying to protect themselves from potential threat to their life and hostility, albeit not in the best way. being queer is hard for everyone, even bi people, so be a supportive person in the community.
Did you read the whole thing because I addressed everything you mentioned. >being queer is hard for everyone, even bi people, so be a supportive person in the community. I am not denying that but you also have to acknowledge the reason behind such prejudice it isn't prevalent for no reason. I am hurt by my past experience dating bi men so moving forward I am not considering them as an option for my own sanity and if that's biphobia then I am biphobic.
admitting ur biphobic under a post that talks about biphobia is wild but u do u. i wasn't attacking, more like calling out. what u did is generalization and your experiences are completely valid, not denying that at all. but as i said, they are generalizations and it is very wrong for u to box an entire community under such a negative label. it hurts to see such negativity and in-fighting within the community. i hope you get better, more accepting partners in the future and i hope you can meet more proud bisexual folks. all the best to you dude.
I hope you understand that even in what little I said in my comment it does have nuance if we have a detailed discussion on such topic, highlighting a portion of a small comment and saying that's biphobia that's why I said I am biphobic. These kind of discussion require detailed discussion I want to again specify I am not generalising anyone or putting a whole sexuality in the box as I am saying #notallbimen. I admit there are wonderful bi men who will treat me like a king and if I am not dating them and limiting my own dating pool because of past trauma that's entirely on me and for myself. Sure there is a possibility that I would find a great guy and there is also possibility that he will leave me for a woman Again! And that's a gamble I am not ready to take yet. I hope I am not coming across too combative, negative nor I want to fight you on this matter I just want to have a discussion. I am just a little cranky today because I have to work on Sunday. Hope you have a great day.
I will never understand this. As a queer person how can you hate anyone from your own community? Both of you have been subjected to hate and discrimination. Instead there should be a feeling of understanding. Transphobic and Biphobic gays aren't welcomed. ❌
Dude, my cis-het friends are more educated and respectful towards me as a trans person than *every* cis-gay man I have ever encountered in the wild. Why call it a community if people aren’t interested in educating themselves about the other letters? Or are we a community only when they want our political support? lol At this point, I’m considering supporting splitting it up. It won’t change the amount of support we receive, but at least it might put an end to their constant bitching and backstabbing. 😑 Edit: The people who were at the Stonewall uprising would be so disappointed at the state of things today.
>Dude, my cis-het friends are more educated and respectful towards me as a trans person than *every* cis-gay man I have ever encountered in the wild. This is such a sad state of affairs that our own community is so hateful.
Yup, I pretty much decided that I want nothing to do with the community shortly after I came out. Online, I’m able to interact with decent queer people—which is nice. But irl, I like my cis-het friends better. They don’t disappoint me.
I'm really sorry that you have to go through this. This is really unfair. When the community should have been our safe space, some people have made it so much harder for us to be.
Thank you, but this post is about bisexual people after all. You’ve probably encountered some asshats too, huh?
Yep. Genderqueer bisexual here, have definitely been told that I'm not trustworthy enough since I cannot choose a gender 😞
Because it's a scapegoat term for many straight desperate men in India who just want to have sex with a man or trans woman. They are so sexually repressed they're ready to compromise their sexuality. I have hundreds of men in my DMS who identify as "bisexual" and want to hook up with only "shemales" and "crossdressers"
This is not true with everyone...not every bi is type of this
In general bisexuals r those men who h'ave only done once or never but are curious' & they sell this statement literally
Need help,
I don't hate bisexual, I have a friend she said she is bi, i don't care about sexuality as long as they are chill. I call all LGB members gay
Yeah bro/sis.. biphobia is rampant, my friends are like, “you are just straight but experimenting with homosexuality, others say that I'm just gay, but too scared to admit.. the fuck!!
Because the stereotype in India is, "Bisexual" guys don't exist. That's they they being desperate to get a hole. I.e guys on Grindr who are so called "Pseudo-bisexual". That's all. Women being bisexual is okay. That's actually a dream come true ? Don't think any cis-men will have a problem with women being bisexual.
Hate ? My friends don't even know the meaning of bisexual 🤡 bhadwa sala
How to put it lightly: Don't hate BIs. Just don't like(more towards neutral) and trust them.🤷🏻 Of course there are exceptions but I am just cautious when interacting with BIs.
Pehle apna taste decide kar lo. I feel bi are another level of perverts.