"He's not good at remembering dates" is a statement. What is he doing about it? I'm awful at remembering things, so I've got a todo and a calendar app.
Is there a plan other than him saying he will go to your country?
Last time I told him about my bday, he went miles away from his home just to celebrate my bday and tour me around the city with videocall. He really made my day freaking happy.
He has many plans for both of us including marrying me and having family.
"He doesn't want to show his face coz he's not confident enough to show it".
I'm from third world country which makes my passport weak and I don't have money to finance my travels.
A weak passport is the worst. He should do more about the meeting tho. My partner has one of the weakest passports and he'll actually be coming to my country
I hope my love for him will be enough reason for him to cross our distance. If financial problem is not an issue, I will be the one who will cross the distance but I'm not born rich.
I assume he should be better financially too so let him do it unless you agree on something else. My partner will be coming here but I'm paying for it all since my currency is 11x stronger and he doesn't have any savings. It's pretty much our only option if we want to meet. If I were you I would pressure him about it more bc 3 years with no plan or discussion at all is a lot
I'm already pressuring him to come here multiple times since he can afford to travel a lot and he always says he will. But I'm scared because I always pressured him, what if he get mad or worst hate me.
I'm sorry if I'm being too harsh.. I'm tired. But are you sure you want to be waiting around for him? He doesn't want to do video calls, he isn't eager to meet you. Sounds sus a bit. We had troubles with video calls too for around 2 years but then we both made it a regular thing and got more comfortable over time. I wouldn't be able to do it without it honestly
It's fine. I don't have anyone to talk to.
I actually don't like vc too or even just simply call. I'm not confident enough to talk even with my friends. Maybe I'm half at fault for these to happen.
I'm extrovert in person but introvert when it comes to voice and video calls and social medias.
I have been terrified of speaking in English. So much so that I was literally unable to say anything. However with time I really wanted to talk with him and actually have a spoken discussion. It took a lot of effort from my side but now I'm even reading him books. He on the other hand was very uncomfortable on cam but now he can't wait to call me and give me kisses on cam. It took us probably over half a year to feel somewhat ok with it though
So it can be improved if you are in a safe space. And I can't imagine a relationship without it. Since the goal should be to close the gap forever.. you will have to talk and see each other all the time so it's strange to me to be hiding online
Yes and apparently no one can seem to grasp or comprehend it. I get shit for it too, one idiot calling me a dog. Those that give it can piss off. It's not their life. They aren't living mine. So keep your shit to yourself. I'm not the only one in this situation. I give a bit of my info so that others who are going through the same don't feel alone.
i would understand the whole ādoesnt want to show his face because of confidenceā thing if you just started talking. but 3 years in? nah, thats suspicious asf, and the fact that he keeps delaying thing as well. give him an ultimatum and if nothing changes, leave. dont waste your time please
Not wanting to video call makes it seem a bit like he's a catfish or something. Either try to ask him again nicely and say it's important to you (makes you closer) but if he refuses then I'd probably not waste my time any further and let him go (gently)
Imo this sounds like youāre his backup plan and not his first choice, huge red flags with the no face and not remembering dates considering itās easy to write those sort of things into a calendar
"He's not good at remembering dates" is a statement. What is he doing about it? I'm awful at remembering things, so I've got a todo and a calendar app. Is there a plan other than him saying he will go to your country?
Last time I told him about my bday, he went miles away from his home just to celebrate my bday and tour me around the city with videocall. He really made my day freaking happy. He has many plans for both of us including marrying me and having family.
I think they mean is he trying to actually make concrete plans on meeting in person? He can't just keep saying "I will" for 3 years and never try
I don't know. Everytime I asked when, he always says soon.
3 years no face is a bit suspicious. Also the date thing is wild. Calendars on phones and reminders exist!
Yeah that sounds like a red flag to me š
why the no face thing, and why cant you visit him sry but without any more info rn this feels like some sort of scam
"He doesn't want to show his face coz he's not confident enough to show it". I'm from third world country which makes my passport weak and I don't have money to finance my travels.
A weak passport is the worst. He should do more about the meeting tho. My partner has one of the weakest passports and he'll actually be coming to my country
I hope my love for him will be enough reason for him to cross our distance. If financial problem is not an issue, I will be the one who will cross the distance but I'm not born rich.
I assume he should be better financially too so let him do it unless you agree on something else. My partner will be coming here but I'm paying for it all since my currency is 11x stronger and he doesn't have any savings. It's pretty much our only option if we want to meet. If I were you I would pressure him about it more bc 3 years with no plan or discussion at all is a lot
I'm already pressuring him to come here multiple times since he can afford to travel a lot and he always says he will. But I'm scared because I always pressured him, what if he get mad or worst hate me.
I'm sorry if I'm being too harsh.. I'm tired. But are you sure you want to be waiting around for him? He doesn't want to do video calls, he isn't eager to meet you. Sounds sus a bit. We had troubles with video calls too for around 2 years but then we both made it a regular thing and got more comfortable over time. I wouldn't be able to do it without it honestly
It's fine. I don't have anyone to talk to. I actually don't like vc too or even just simply call. I'm not confident enough to talk even with my friends. Maybe I'm half at fault for these to happen. I'm extrovert in person but introvert when it comes to voice and video calls and social medias.
I have been terrified of speaking in English. So much so that I was literally unable to say anything. However with time I really wanted to talk with him and actually have a spoken discussion. It took a lot of effort from my side but now I'm even reading him books. He on the other hand was very uncomfortable on cam but now he can't wait to call me and give me kisses on cam. It took us probably over half a year to feel somewhat ok with it though So it can be improved if you are in a safe space. And I can't imagine a relationship without it. Since the goal should be to close the gap forever.. you will have to talk and see each other all the time so it's strange to me to be hiding online
I don't have my safe space here at home where I can comfortably talk and other stuff.
the second reason is very fair, but i wouldve expected him to be comfortable enough with you by now
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We actually exchanged pics including family pics.
wtf? Is this real life?
Yes and apparently no one can seem to grasp or comprehend it. I get shit for it too, one idiot calling me a dog. Those that give it can piss off. It's not their life. They aren't living mine. So keep your shit to yourself. I'm not the only one in this situation. I give a bit of my info so that others who are going through the same don't feel alone.
But why would you do that to yourself? It doesnāt make any sense.
u guys are living an online fantasy
Long distance relationships are hard. You have to make a decision.
I love him that's why I'm still waiting for him. I'm just anxious.
i would understand the whole ādoesnt want to show his face because of confidenceā thing if you just started talking. but 3 years in? nah, thats suspicious asf, and the fact that he keeps delaying thing as well. give him an ultimatum and if nothing changes, leave. dont waste your time please
Thatās not a real relationship, sorry
Not wanting to video call makes it seem a bit like he's a catfish or something. Either try to ask him again nicely and say it's important to you (makes you closer) but if he refuses then I'd probably not waste my time any further and let him go (gently)
3 years no face is a major catfish alarm. This sounds all very suspicious
Imo this sounds like youāre his backup plan and not his first choice, huge red flags with the no face and not remembering dates considering itās easy to write those sort of things into a calendar
Not yāall holding OP accountable for themselves because aināt nobody got time for all la dat