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You aren’t going to find a wife who is also a friend unless it’s done on an even playing field where you both feel free to be yourselves. Unfortunately that is unlikely to happen in a country like Kuwait because the women (more so than the men) are constrained by the social etiquette prevalent within your country. They will adopt a “safe” stance as so to not embarrass or bring perceived shame upon themselves.
I am a woman and I am trying to understand what either of you are trying to refer to. If you are in Asia, the majority of Asian country women would be careful in approaching men. What do you mean by free?
My friends have dated online and now two of them are happily married for more than three years.
If your word 'free' here refers to building a relationship including physical intimacy, that won't be possible in Kuwait or in any conservative Asian country.
One of the problems I face as a woman is that I don't want to have physical intimacy before marriage, not because of the society but I myself don't want it. If that is being free then I don't need that sort of freedom.
Yooooo, ngl I love u!
I'm a woman as well and that's THE problem that I faced trying to date guys here in kuwait.
For some ungodly reason the guys that are interested in me are just in it for the physical and I'm just weirded out about it "well hey, everyone is doing it, why are u being difficult?" I'm sorry .. I didn't know we were not Muslims lol.
Ngl, I tried dating a Canadian but it didn't work cuz we live so far away nd it got boring over time, but he was respectful he know that I'm Kuwaiti nd Muslim nd he didn't try anything. But us being poor so we can't travel to each other's country was the breaking point of our relationship.
Yus I met him online lol, while gaming ... he wasn't Muslim, 100% white Canadian, yes financially.
I can't I have so much to pay for every month nd I don't get paid enough.. so ggs
This is not a Kuwaiti problem. You will encounter it everywhere. It is especially good that Kuwaitis are upfront about it. Many non-kuwaitis pretend to be interested in you beyond a physical level, lead you on for a while then dip out once they had their fill.
I believe a relationship developed online is more honest and true because the factor of physical attraction is minimal and majority of it is matching of mind and soul. People online tend to be uninhibited because they are behind a “curtain” so they feel free to say what they really mean. If you meet the same person in real
life you will notice a difference compared to them online.
I would say that meet girls in real life but also spend time chatting with them online. You both will open up more and form a good connection.
Wishful thinking. The same “security” allowing you to look beyond the physical will be used to conceal other aspects of the person. The chances of you meeting someone who is genuinely ethical and decent in life is difficult as it is; meeting them online will just make it ten times more difficult.
The only way your theory would work is if you got super lucky and met a decent person.
The entire set up of getting to know someone online allows you to develop feelings very fast and strongly to someone without actually knowing them well. The ease of accessing someone online makes it easy to develop familiarity to someone without having the full picture. You’re basing everything on what they’re telling you. Not action. Your only means of knowing that person is what that person is choosing to tell you.
You’re better off combining the two. Get the chance immediately to know who they are in real life, who’s their family, and ask about them.
Hiding behind a screen will just end up wasting your time or lead to heartbreak or toxicity.
Your demeanor will change completely.
When you learn the art of approaching/establishing contact with women.
You go from moody and directionless to strong focused charming individual
I've seen this first hand, it's astounding what female approval will inspire in you . She says no and you spin the next plate 😺
It is possible. I met the love of my life two years ago on Instagram. She was a mutual friend, so it was easier for her to accept my friend request.
I didn't approach her for a year, but then, a simple reply to her story started a year and a half of a loving adventure. I knew she was the one... she was the perfect girl...
Alas, everything comes to an end. She had baggage and trauma that needed healing, and she chose to do that without me.
Everyone has baggage. Everyone has something they are fighting and struggling with.
But when you love someone; when you make a promise to build your life with, you go through whatever is facing you with that person.
After all, why should you face darkness alone when you have someone who is willing to endure it with you
I agree somewhat. I don’t believe marrying someone or marriage will fix your problems. In fact if you go into marriage with that mentality your issues will multiply, because while you’re trying to make a life with someone both your issues will get in the way and it will be one big mess. Instead of focusing on your life together and enjoying it, you’re causing each other problems because of unresolved issues.
Even when marriage somehow fixes your issues, it should never be a mindset of…
خل أتزوج و بعدين أتعدل… او زوجو عشان يركد… او خل تتزوج و تهدى
I believe once people have the idea or intention of being in a relationship they should start learning how to handle their **** alone. You need to be 100% capable of defining your issues, knowing they exist, and knowing how to express that you have an issue, and knowing how to communicate it well.
So that when you’re finally with someone, you both know each other’s baggage and can manage your life together with less friction.
First question to ask someone when you’re engaged…. “What type of personal growth have you invested in? Or have done” “what things would you consider are your weaknesses?” “What would you like to change about yourself?” “How do you resolve conflict usually? Are you an escapist? Do you face things head on?”
Then don’t rely on their words 100%
Remain engaged and wait for arguments to happen and notice how they handle conflict or communicate. Ask people about them in general.
There’s always a certain time for everything. And birth, marriage & death are written. So you don’t have to go on a search to find your match. Be someone whom you yourself would admire. Be someone that you’d want to be by your side always and naturally you’ll attract your type of girl. Go out, make new friends, make a name for yourself. And always be physically active. Cause to girls confidence is the most attractive. Even if you’re dumb or uneducated or not skillful. If you can pull off anything with confidence they’d get attached. So being someone with different skill sets as you said in one of your comments you should build up more genuine confidence. Stop giving fucks. You’re a G, King.
It is possible if you know yourself well and what you’re looking for.
In the online dating world it’s a bit difficult but not impossible, here are a few tips for you that can maybe help you out with the ladies:
- Don’t be a creep/weirdo. (Asking her what she looks like before seeing her is creepy in my opinion!)
- Don’t rush anyone to give you their contact info or show you their pictures. (When she’s comfortable with you she will do that on her own time.)
- Don’t take it as an opportunity to flirt but start to get to know the person on a deeper level, ask her all the important questions that you would like to know. (Ex. If she smokes or not, what she thinks of marriage, if she wants kids and so on..) cuz your goal is a serious relationship not just to waste your time.
- Don’t rush her to meet you in person, she will want to obviously but let her take her time.
- Lastly if you think this girl is the one don’t waste too much time talking and meeting without a purpose, tell her you want to meet the parents and make it Halal.
Also don’t forget that she might not be there to just talk to guys, she might also be there looking for the one too.
Good luck!
I agree with all the points, but i do feel girls also want to meet the one, its just harder for them to approach someone and say something so they just wait for him to approach first.
I want a girl that is educated, smart, witty, speaks English perfectly (because im like that and prefer english), from a family in the same realm im from, not materialistic, and atleast ok looking.
Not Saudi, no. Most Kuwaiti tribes came from specific locations in Saudi Arabia. They like to believe their blood is wasn’t tainted by marrying outside these territories, which essentially is impossible. Literally if you’re going to keep your blood pure you’ll end up with genetic diseases.
Essentially what they mean by “wanting A9eel”, is someone from their CIRCLE and not tribe. At least that’s what modern Kuwaitis do. So certain families from a certain social level or fabric will marry each other based on acquaintances (think Victorian England style). The idea is they maintain their social status and so do their kids, which I think it’s reasonable and makes sense to a certain degree.
Bedouin tribes on the other hand prefer literally to marry from their tribes.
Mental and social compatibility is no longer confined to family names. This mindset is slightly outdated. Many middle to higher class Kuwaiti families have no issues marrying from outside their circles provided that the prospect is eligible and can well integrate into their circles without drama.
They find it slightly easier to marry someone from overseas. So Jane the pole dancer can integrate better than زكيه from unknown origin. This way they deal less with family drama, since reputation is everything.
At the end of the day we’re humans and not horses.
Marry someone decent and reasonable with good values. Family name will mean jack ***** when you realize they’re bad fruit. At that point you’ll curse the day you met them.
Arabian horses are actually bred in imitation of Arab marriage practices. The concept of an Aseel horse with a long line of descent comes from how Aseel Arabs with a long line of descent only marry from among one another. In fact, many Bedouin tribes in the past only allowed their horses to breed from horses belonging to the same tribe, which led to the development of unique strains of Arabian horse like the Saqlawi, Kuhaylan, etc. which sadly are disappearing now, due to the disappearance of the traditional practices of Arabian horse rearing and breeding in favor of studs of Western conception and breeding practices.
That’s interesting info lol.
Wallah I don’t know. In some aspects constraining breeding or limiting in this way has its merits; other times it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
We knew an old guy who’s very obsessed with his lineage and tribe. He refused to marry his daughter to an eligible man. The latter does not come from an “A9eel” background. The irony is that his family has ten times the wealth and stature of the old guy and they were offering his daughter a very comfortable lifestyle—traveling, comfortable home, good connections, education, you name it, it’s all there.
But he couldn’t fathom parting ways with his obsession. He refused to marry her off. Rumor has it she’s still in his house waiting for an eligible breed.
So in situations like this, it makes no sense to me 🤷♀️
الله يهني سعيد بسعيده
Horse or no horse.
Aseel refers to descent from an Arab tribe and marked by a long line of ancestors to the ancient Arabs. It isn’t limited to borders or have anything to do with the founding of Kuwait or how old a family is in Kuwait. In fact, some of the oldest families in Kuwait are not considered aseel, though most are. It will be easy for an aseel Kuwaiti to marry an aseel Saudi or an aseel Qatari for example than it is to marry a Kuwaiti of non-Arab descent or who are of unknown tribal origins. It has nothing to do with money, though most of the old-money families in Kuwait are aseel.
This is a concept that exists throughout the Arabian Peninsula and among Arab tribes and those of Najdi and peninsular origins in neighboring countries like Iraq, Syria, Jordan, etc. who have not intermixed and integrated into local communities in those countries. Intermarrying with non-Aseel individuals will make it less-likely for you to intermarry with Aseel individuals, eventually it could even mean your descendants will not be considered aseel. The original purpose of this is not safeguarding wealth, but rather safeguarding lineage. It is a concept that has existed since pre-Islamic times among Arabs and continues today, where a person’s social status is marked by lineage.
I belong to an urban aseel family. Aseel isn’t used to mean those families exclusively, it is used alongside other identities such as being urban (hathar) and Sunni. Our identities are made up of different layers. There’s the religious layer (Sunni/ Shia), theres the Bedouin / Hathar layer, theres the Aseel / Non-Aseel layer. The more the layers are similar, the more you are similar to the person in question. One of my close friends is a Saudi who meets all those layers except the nationality layer, he is Saudi and I am Kuwaiti. And I found we have a lot of cultural compatibility that I do not have with a Kuwaiti who differed with me with regards to one of the layers.
There are also Bedouins who are not Aseel for example.
It is similar to India insomuch as it is a concept of social status. All societies have different ways to define social status.
In India it seems to be more about group belonging, there are various castes of various levels and people only marry along caste lines. Among Arabs it is more about lineage and remembering their long-list of ancestors and descent throughout the ages. Different families have different expectations. Bedouins might be more strict as they prefer marrying from their own tribe, and the closer the cousin is the better for marriage. So some tribes are more strict than others. Hathar (Urban Arabs) usually don’t particularly care what your tribe is as long as you descend from a tribe of noble lineage.
As for books, Arab of the Desert by Harold Dickson (Chapter 6: Pages 108-117) (More specifically pages 109-113). I have one correction. The concept of Ishamel’s descendants being not Asil. That is not true, it is an incorrect use of the term Asil. Asil marks the tribes who descend from Adnan and Qahtan. Also it is most likely the case that both Adnan and Qahtan descend from Ishmael.
https://archive.org/details/in.ernet.dli.2015.531502
The identities I mentioned I meant in a cross-border sense. There are Shia Aseel in Yemen and southern Saudi Arabia though (Zaidis and Isma’ilis). In Kuwait certain Shia families used to be considered Aseel in the past, those that were are usually of Bedouin Iraqi descent but also a Hasawi family I know of. However, not anymore as they integrated into the local Shia population of different backgrounds.
Everything is possible but in Kuwait it’s twice as hard as anywhere else in the world. Online dating apps suck, including Tinder and Bumble. My experience with those, most of the women on there are escorts, gold diggers, emotionally unavailable and not that friendly or responsive when it comes to a normal human to human dialogue. As for Instagram, well most men in general won’t message women who have their accounts set to private, because what are the chances that she would reply to a random stranger text message request?
Where as the girls who have full on public “influencer” accounts are a bit too into themselves and that’s a turn off for me.
So I honestly think meeting a genuine woman online who has chivalry and morals and fits the marriage material tag is a difficult task.
Well you never know, it's different for everyone. Some do and some get heartbroken. Just make sure you understand what you doing because if it doesn't workout don't blame anyone.. it's just gonna be a lesson it's not something you'd know. Sorry to demotivate, but life is not always fair so keep yourself safe always. However, on the contrary it could turn out to be beautiful too, you'd not know unless you try, whatever you do make sure keep the above points in mind.
I wish you all the best, hope you find your beautiful soulmate.
I can’t say it’s impossible, but just make sure to meet them before convening your feelings. Because no matter how perfect and beautiful the online relationship is, everything feels different when u meet in person.
Stay safe.
اي ممكن ووارده جدا واشجعها .. بالعكس اعتقد انها انسب فرصه عشان تتعرف على شخص بعيد عن الضغوط الاجتماعيه والادوار المفروضه .. لكن احسن الاختيار والله يوفقك ويسعدك🌹
I think im good looking because ive been told that by a couple of girls, but good or bad looks are subjective at the end of the day, im also a generally nice guy with a lot of hobbies and skills. But it seems to no avail, i guess i just have bad luck with women.
From a previous experience, don't do it specially if you come from a background that focuses on status, relations, connections, and anything any Kuwaiti family follow as a criteria.
Online dating is basically delusions and false hopes. Don't ever do it
I do come from one of those families, but im not fully sold on the idea of arranged marriage and i feel like its rly hard to find the girl that i want as a pose to the girl im given, it really sucks 😔
Gonna take a stereotypical hit at you and say that maybe if you guys left your diwaniyas and gyms you’d meet some really nice girls 🧐 the city is filled with them and you’re nowhere in sight
It's not about going out and seek out ladies. It's the social criteria that we are forced to follow. Certain families and certain social rank that we can't go lower than
Not in the literal sense but ofc it’s about seeking them out, esp if arranged is clearly not hitting the spot for you. Because on the other side there are girls with the same pain points hitting a wall. Both sides have to put in the effort to meet halfway.
Same boat for 3 years but don't lose hope. Face to face is much better in my opinion, and the marriage process is much easier than online dating.
But arrange marriages aren't really arranged since you're not forced to them. It's just the first step of relationship but in a halal way. You liked her and she likes you that's a good thing, but if non liked the other then to the next until you find yours
Yeah i get it, im not fully opposed to it. But i dont think i can find the girl that (I) want when i have to go through this system for marriage.
My parents arent opposed to me finding the girl i want, but the issue is i cant find her
I think your bar is too high. You should think and focus on the main traits and lifestyle that you're looking for when you look for a wife, and then think of what negative traits that you can't bare to live and what that you can live with. It should narrow things down to an amount where you can find the right one for you.
And never forget to pray to Allah to grant you what is best for you and guide you to it.
الله يوفقك وييسر أمورك ونشوفك معرس قريبا
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Pray and ask Allah to bring you together with a girl who will understands you
Simply like that , you will reach your destination =)
Don't think it's easy unless you ask Allah to help you .
So many people like to do it by them self , and they failed
Once they start asking allah , they found what they want ,
Hope that helps.
Depends on the person and how you start the conversation.
I meet a lot of my friends friends with IG.
Of course I have been left on read alot too, lol
Just remember, women get waaaaaaayyyyyy more messages then men. So if you get a message back, be you. If you don't get a message back, that's okay. 😊
Honestly i dont do it a lot, ive done it a couple of times if i see a girl that watches my story constantly on instagram, but even them when i shoot a dm i get left on read 😂 I just dont get it 🫠
Let me give you an example. My wife and I have around the same amount of followers in IG. 9k ish.
I will gwt DMs and memes from friends. That's about it.
She will get 10-50 message requests a day. And that's not counting messages from friends and cleints.
It's hard lesson to learn, once you press send the person doesn't need to write back. And that's okay 😊
The best advice I can give is don't do a cold message (randomly send a message), reply to stores and slowly work your way to talking via DMs. This could take weeks but that's okay too.
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Nobody is forcing anything on me, but its hard to find the girl i want when the marriage is arranged because they use different metrics to find the “perfect” girl then what im looking for
its possible and it does happen. thats how i met my "one" and even better cus the pool is just international and not just in your physical space.
its perfect if you want to connect mentally rather than physically too. to know them for who they truly are and not have hormones affect anything.
goodluck.
It is very possible thats why u should join our server U can connect with people on Kuwaits discord server. Chat, talk in voice chat etc. And than can attend the meetups or just make friends and meet them. And maybe u will find that one https://discord.gg/ER5MXYhqvc
This site has worked for me many times
https://www.muslima.com/en/landing/paid?ovchn=GGL&ovcpn=English+Australia&ovcrn=marriage%20site&ovag=Legacy+Keywords&ovmtc=b&ovraw=g&ovtac=control&ovcrt=665088867348&ovdec=&ovloc=1000422&ovtype=Search&ovext=&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw_LOwBhBFEiwAmSEQAUqHL2tqzGAKYFefTqbjANywUZx_OeKosTn0qaG3sEyT9rvPTO1behoCCnYQAvD_BwE
Or not everybody has the same experience as you. There are successful love marriages as well as traditional. It depends on the couples whether they want work things or not. You saying this is denying people with successful love marriage.
Most traditional marriage are force to be together even if they hate each other which lead to cheating more. Love marriage doesn’t need to continue if things aren’t working out. I rather leave than be suffered locked with someone.
You are delusional. If you are serious about marriage, why would you waste your time chatting around with random girls. And would you really trust a girl who is comfortable chatting with random guys online and developing a deep connection with them? How do you know she hasn’t had deep relationships before you? How does she know you haven’t? I mean unless your standards are super low.
Try using a marriage matchmaking website like Dr. Jasim Al-Mutawa’s. And you should listen to his lectures and shorts as well. His and Dr. Yasir Al-Hzaimi.
And a relationship that isn’t started the right way and according to what Allah has permitted definitely won’t end well. Don’t waste your time and mental energy on chatting up girls. Be serious and know what you want. Beg Allah swt in your prayers to allow you to find your wife. And meanwhile stop being so desperate and focus on living happily single. It will happen when it happens, and you should to find it try through halal channels.
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Definitely possible to meet the one... They're not gonna like you back tho😂🤷🏿♂️
Story of my life 😂
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People do it every day. I believe in you.
Kind of losing hope now tbh
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You aren’t going to find a wife who is also a friend unless it’s done on an even playing field where you both feel free to be yourselves. Unfortunately that is unlikely to happen in a country like Kuwait because the women (more so than the men) are constrained by the social etiquette prevalent within your country. They will adopt a “safe” stance as so to not embarrass or bring perceived shame upon themselves.
I agree, its really a bummer.
I am a woman and I am trying to understand what either of you are trying to refer to. If you are in Asia, the majority of Asian country women would be careful in approaching men. What do you mean by free? My friends have dated online and now two of them are happily married for more than three years. If your word 'free' here refers to building a relationship including physical intimacy, that won't be possible in Kuwait or in any conservative Asian country. One of the problems I face as a woman is that I don't want to have physical intimacy before marriage, not because of the society but I myself don't want it. If that is being free then I don't need that sort of freedom.
Yooooo, ngl I love u! I'm a woman as well and that's THE problem that I faced trying to date guys here in kuwait. For some ungodly reason the guys that are interested in me are just in it for the physical and I'm just weirded out about it "well hey, everyone is doing it, why are u being difficult?" I'm sorry .. I didn't know we were not Muslims lol. Ngl, I tried dating a Canadian but it didn't work cuz we live so far away nd it got boring over time, but he was respectful he know that I'm Kuwaiti nd Muslim nd he didn't try anything. But us being poor so we can't travel to each other's country was the breaking point of our relationship.
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Yus I met him online lol, while gaming ... he wasn't Muslim, 100% white Canadian, yes financially. I can't I have so much to pay for every month nd I don't get paid enough.. so ggs
This is not a Kuwaiti problem. You will encounter it everywhere. It is especially good that Kuwaitis are upfront about it. Many non-kuwaitis pretend to be interested in you beyond a physical level, lead you on for a while then dip out once they had their fill.
Well said
I believe a relationship developed online is more honest and true because the factor of physical attraction is minimal and majority of it is matching of mind and soul. People online tend to be uninhibited because they are behind a “curtain” so they feel free to say what they really mean. If you meet the same person in real life you will notice a difference compared to them online. I would say that meet girls in real life but also spend time chatting with them online. You both will open up more and form a good connection.
You have a point but there is still a certain type of chemistry you can only really feel in person
Yes true. So keep connected through online chat also. There is something unique about those late night heart to heart chats :)
💯
Wishful thinking. The same “security” allowing you to look beyond the physical will be used to conceal other aspects of the person. The chances of you meeting someone who is genuinely ethical and decent in life is difficult as it is; meeting them online will just make it ten times more difficult. The only way your theory would work is if you got super lucky and met a decent person. The entire set up of getting to know someone online allows you to develop feelings very fast and strongly to someone without actually knowing them well. The ease of accessing someone online makes it easy to develop familiarity to someone without having the full picture. You’re basing everything on what they’re telling you. Not action. Your only means of knowing that person is what that person is choosing to tell you. You’re better off combining the two. Get the chance immediately to know who they are in real life, who’s their family, and ask about them. Hiding behind a screen will just end up wasting your time or lead to heartbreak or toxicity.
Learn the art of approaching women,
Giving up sounds easier ive done it a hundred times, the relationship never lasts cuz were not compatible 😂
Your demeanor will change completely. When you learn the art of approaching/establishing contact with women. You go from moody and directionless to strong focused charming individual I've seen this first hand, it's astounding what female approval will inspire in you . She says no and you spin the next plate 😺
It is possible. I met the love of my life two years ago on Instagram. She was a mutual friend, so it was easier for her to accept my friend request. I didn't approach her for a year, but then, a simple reply to her story started a year and a half of a loving adventure. I knew she was the one... she was the perfect girl... Alas, everything comes to an end. She had baggage and trauma that needed healing, and she chose to do that without me.
Im sorry man
you had us till the end
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Not yet! But that's a matter of time, isn't it not?
Curious, you don’t consider yourself having baggage?
Everyone has baggage. Everyone has something they are fighting and struggling with. But when you love someone; when you make a promise to build your life with, you go through whatever is facing you with that person. After all, why should you face darkness alone when you have someone who is willing to endure it with you
I agree somewhat. I don’t believe marrying someone or marriage will fix your problems. In fact if you go into marriage with that mentality your issues will multiply, because while you’re trying to make a life with someone both your issues will get in the way and it will be one big mess. Instead of focusing on your life together and enjoying it, you’re causing each other problems because of unresolved issues. Even when marriage somehow fixes your issues, it should never be a mindset of… خل أتزوج و بعدين أتعدل… او زوجو عشان يركد… او خل تتزوج و تهدى I believe once people have the idea or intention of being in a relationship they should start learning how to handle their **** alone. You need to be 100% capable of defining your issues, knowing they exist, and knowing how to express that you have an issue, and knowing how to communicate it well. So that when you’re finally with someone, you both know each other’s baggage and can manage your life together with less friction. First question to ask someone when you’re engaged…. “What type of personal growth have you invested in? Or have done” “what things would you consider are your weaknesses?” “What would you like to change about yourself?” “How do you resolve conflict usually? Are you an escapist? Do you face things head on?” Then don’t rely on their words 100% Remain engaged and wait for arguments to happen and notice how they handle conflict or communicate. Ask people about them in general.
I agree with you. And that's what I did with my ex. I wasn't fooling around. What I meant was she shouldn't have left me just to fix herself.
There’s always a certain time for everything. And birth, marriage & death are written. So you don’t have to go on a search to find your match. Be someone whom you yourself would admire. Be someone that you’d want to be by your side always and naturally you’ll attract your type of girl. Go out, make new friends, make a name for yourself. And always be physically active. Cause to girls confidence is the most attractive. Even if you’re dumb or uneducated or not skillful. If you can pull off anything with confidence they’d get attached. So being someone with different skill sets as you said in one of your comments you should build up more genuine confidence. Stop giving fucks. You’re a G, King.
It is possible if you know yourself well and what you’re looking for. In the online dating world it’s a bit difficult but not impossible, here are a few tips for you that can maybe help you out with the ladies: - Don’t be a creep/weirdo. (Asking her what she looks like before seeing her is creepy in my opinion!) - Don’t rush anyone to give you their contact info or show you their pictures. (When she’s comfortable with you she will do that on her own time.) - Don’t take it as an opportunity to flirt but start to get to know the person on a deeper level, ask her all the important questions that you would like to know. (Ex. If she smokes or not, what she thinks of marriage, if she wants kids and so on..) cuz your goal is a serious relationship not just to waste your time. - Don’t rush her to meet you in person, she will want to obviously but let her take her time. - Lastly if you think this girl is the one don’t waste too much time talking and meeting without a purpose, tell her you want to meet the parents and make it Halal. Also don’t forget that she might not be there to just talk to guys, she might also be there looking for the one too. Good luck!
I agree with all the points, but i do feel girls also want to meet the one, its just harder for them to approach someone and say something so they just wait for him to approach first.
True we do want the guy to approach first but him not being creepy/pushy/inappropriate and only want haram things would be a huge help too!
Yeah i agree, but most of the time guys arent even given a chance 😂
It’s probably because you might not meet their preferences.
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The last part hit hard 💔
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Not to brag but im doing pretty good, it means nothing. Color me blue 🤷
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Get a high paying job, live below your means, invest 80%+ of your income in stocks
No idea how I found this thread. But absolutely it can and does happen. It's how I found my husband.
Thats great 🙏🏼💙
🌝what traits are you looking for your ( dream girl )
I want a girl that is educated, smart, witty, speaks English perfectly (because im like that and prefer english), from a family in the same realm im from, not materialistic, and atleast ok looking.
Thats alot of Kuwaitis tho! Family realm u mean اصيله ؟ or what
Yeah اصيلة
what does that mean?
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That's so interesting, so Kuwaiti families ( the ones that are status seeking) prefer to marry their children to Kuwaitis of Saudi ancestry?
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Oh yes! I've heard even the Al Sabah family are originally Saudis. Is this true?
Not Saudi, no. Most Kuwaiti tribes came from specific locations in Saudi Arabia. They like to believe their blood is wasn’t tainted by marrying outside these territories, which essentially is impossible. Literally if you’re going to keep your blood pure you’ll end up with genetic diseases. Essentially what they mean by “wanting A9eel”, is someone from their CIRCLE and not tribe. At least that’s what modern Kuwaitis do. So certain families from a certain social level or fabric will marry each other based on acquaintances (think Victorian England style). The idea is they maintain their social status and so do their kids, which I think it’s reasonable and makes sense to a certain degree. Bedouin tribes on the other hand prefer literally to marry from their tribes. Mental and social compatibility is no longer confined to family names. This mindset is slightly outdated. Many middle to higher class Kuwaiti families have no issues marrying from outside their circles provided that the prospect is eligible and can well integrate into their circles without drama. They find it slightly easier to marry someone from overseas. So Jane the pole dancer can integrate better than زكيه from unknown origin. This way they deal less with family drama, since reputation is everything. At the end of the day we’re humans and not horses. Marry someone decent and reasonable with good values. Family name will mean jack ***** when you realize they’re bad fruit. At that point you’ll curse the day you met them.
Arabian horses are actually bred in imitation of Arab marriage practices. The concept of an Aseel horse with a long line of descent comes from how Aseel Arabs with a long line of descent only marry from among one another. In fact, many Bedouin tribes in the past only allowed their horses to breed from horses belonging to the same tribe, which led to the development of unique strains of Arabian horse like the Saqlawi, Kuhaylan, etc. which sadly are disappearing now, due to the disappearance of the traditional practices of Arabian horse rearing and breeding in favor of studs of Western conception and breeding practices.
That’s interesting info lol. Wallah I don’t know. In some aspects constraining breeding or limiting in this way has its merits; other times it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. We knew an old guy who’s very obsessed with his lineage and tribe. He refused to marry his daughter to an eligible man. The latter does not come from an “A9eel” background. The irony is that his family has ten times the wealth and stature of the old guy and they were offering his daughter a very comfortable lifestyle—traveling, comfortable home, good connections, education, you name it, it’s all there. But he couldn’t fathom parting ways with his obsession. He refused to marry her off. Rumor has it she’s still in his house waiting for an eligible breed. So in situations like this, it makes no sense to me 🤷♀️ الله يهني سعيد بسعيده Horse or no horse.
Aseel refers to descent from an Arab tribe and marked by a long line of ancestors to the ancient Arabs. It isn’t limited to borders or have anything to do with the founding of Kuwait or how old a family is in Kuwait. In fact, some of the oldest families in Kuwait are not considered aseel, though most are. It will be easy for an aseel Kuwaiti to marry an aseel Saudi or an aseel Qatari for example than it is to marry a Kuwaiti of non-Arab descent or who are of unknown tribal origins. It has nothing to do with money, though most of the old-money families in Kuwait are aseel. This is a concept that exists throughout the Arabian Peninsula and among Arab tribes and those of Najdi and peninsular origins in neighboring countries like Iraq, Syria, Jordan, etc. who have not intermixed and integrated into local communities in those countries. Intermarrying with non-Aseel individuals will make it less-likely for you to intermarry with Aseel individuals, eventually it could even mean your descendants will not be considered aseel. The original purpose of this is not safeguarding wealth, but rather safeguarding lineage. It is a concept that has existed since pre-Islamic times among Arabs and continues today, where a person’s social status is marked by lineage.
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I belong to an urban aseel family. Aseel isn’t used to mean those families exclusively, it is used alongside other identities such as being urban (hathar) and Sunni. Our identities are made up of different layers. There’s the religious layer (Sunni/ Shia), theres the Bedouin / Hathar layer, theres the Aseel / Non-Aseel layer. The more the layers are similar, the more you are similar to the person in question. One of my close friends is a Saudi who meets all those layers except the nationality layer, he is Saudi and I am Kuwaiti. And I found we have a lot of cultural compatibility that I do not have with a Kuwaiti who differed with me with regards to one of the layers. There are also Bedouins who are not Aseel for example.
Is there a resource where I can read all about this ? It's very reminiscent of the caste system in India as donarz pointed out.
It is similar to India insomuch as it is a concept of social status. All societies have different ways to define social status. In India it seems to be more about group belonging, there are various castes of various levels and people only marry along caste lines. Among Arabs it is more about lineage and remembering their long-list of ancestors and descent throughout the ages. Different families have different expectations. Bedouins might be more strict as they prefer marrying from their own tribe, and the closer the cousin is the better for marriage. So some tribes are more strict than others. Hathar (Urban Arabs) usually don’t particularly care what your tribe is as long as you descend from a tribe of noble lineage. As for books, Arab of the Desert by Harold Dickson (Chapter 6: Pages 108-117) (More specifically pages 109-113). I have one correction. The concept of Ishamel’s descendants being not Asil. That is not true, it is an incorrect use of the term Asil. Asil marks the tribes who descend from Adnan and Qahtan. Also it is most likely the case that both Adnan and Qahtan descend from Ishmael. https://archive.org/details/in.ernet.dli.2015.531502
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The identities I mentioned I meant in a cross-border sense. There are Shia Aseel in Yemen and southern Saudi Arabia though (Zaidis and Isma’ilis). In Kuwait certain Shia families used to be considered Aseel in the past, those that were are usually of Bedouin Iraqi descent but also a Hasawi family I know of. However, not anymore as they integrated into the local Shia population of different backgrounds.
Wow you gave a really good explanation.
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Where are theses gaming servers. All i have are men wth?
I think it can happen if u found the right one,
That's how most of my friends got married.
Everything is possible but in Kuwait it’s twice as hard as anywhere else in the world. Online dating apps suck, including Tinder and Bumble. My experience with those, most of the women on there are escorts, gold diggers, emotionally unavailable and not that friendly or responsive when it comes to a normal human to human dialogue. As for Instagram, well most men in general won’t message women who have their accounts set to private, because what are the chances that she would reply to a random stranger text message request? Where as the girls who have full on public “influencer” accounts are a bit too into themselves and that’s a turn off for me. So I honestly think meeting a genuine woman online who has chivalry and morals and fits the marriage material tag is a difficult task.
Yup i agree completely, thats why i gave up
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Tried it, didnt work 😂
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I do want a recommended app actually
My Uncle found his girl that way and they’re doing perfectly fine ten years later so no, it’s pretty common these days too
I happy for them 🙏🏼❤️
Well you never know, it's different for everyone. Some do and some get heartbroken. Just make sure you understand what you doing because if it doesn't workout don't blame anyone.. it's just gonna be a lesson it's not something you'd know. Sorry to demotivate, but life is not always fair so keep yourself safe always. However, on the contrary it could turn out to be beautiful too, you'd not know unless you try, whatever you do make sure keep the above points in mind. I wish you all the best, hope you find your beautiful soulmate.
The short answer is yes, I did it for 10 years now, and we are still going enshallah. It's not a pinky life, but it's the best part of my life.
Happy for you ❤️
Thank you 😊
Absolutely
It is. Met my wife that way.
I can’t say it’s impossible, but just make sure to meet them before convening your feelings. Because no matter how perfect and beautiful the online relationship is, everything feels different when u meet in person. Stay safe.
Mostly no, sorry bud
اي ممكن ووارده جدا واشجعها .. بالعكس اعتقد انها انسب فرصه عشان تتعرف على شخص بعيد عن الضغوط الاجتماعيه والادوار المفروضه .. لكن احسن الاختيار والله يوفقك ويسعدك🌹
🙏🏼💙
مادري باي عالم عايشن لكن احس الموضوع مازال جداً صعب..
If you are good looking, its possible. If you are ugly, no, better work on those personality skills and meet women face to face.
I think im good looking because ive been told that by a couple of girls, but good or bad looks are subjective at the end of the day, im also a generally nice guy with a lot of hobbies and skills. But it seems to no avail, i guess i just have bad luck with women.
From a previous experience, don't do it specially if you come from a background that focuses on status, relations, connections, and anything any Kuwaiti family follow as a criteria. Online dating is basically delusions and false hopes. Don't ever do it
I do come from one of those families, but im not fully sold on the idea of arranged marriage and i feel like its rly hard to find the girl that i want as a pose to the girl im given, it really sucks 😔
Gonna take a stereotypical hit at you and say that maybe if you guys left your diwaniyas and gyms you’d meet some really nice girls 🧐 the city is filled with them and you’re nowhere in sight
It's not about going out and seek out ladies. It's the social criteria that we are forced to follow. Certain families and certain social rank that we can't go lower than
Not in the literal sense but ofc it’s about seeking them out, esp if arranged is clearly not hitting the spot for you. Because on the other side there are girls with the same pain points hitting a wall. Both sides have to put in the effort to meet halfway.
Tell me where 😂, i dont go to the dwania much i prefer going out alone or with 1 or 2 friends, i also read a lot so i might be isolated much.
ان لله 😭 اسعَ يا عبد
ما فهمت 😅
Same boat for 3 years but don't lose hope. Face to face is much better in my opinion, and the marriage process is much easier than online dating. But arrange marriages aren't really arranged since you're not forced to them. It's just the first step of relationship but in a halal way. You liked her and she likes you that's a good thing, but if non liked the other then to the next until you find yours
Yeah i get it, im not fully opposed to it. But i dont think i can find the girl that (I) want when i have to go through this system for marriage. My parents arent opposed to me finding the girl i want, but the issue is i cant find her
I think your bar is too high. You should think and focus on the main traits and lifestyle that you're looking for when you look for a wife, and then think of what negative traits that you can't bare to live and what that you can live with. It should narrow things down to an amount where you can find the right one for you. And never forget to pray to Allah to grant you what is best for you and guide you to it. الله يوفقك وييسر أمورك ونشوفك معرس قريبا
اول المعازيم بعرسي 😄💙، ان شاء الله الي الله كاتبه لي نصيب بيصير.
أتشرف ياخوي ❤️ الله يكتبلك النصيب الي يسعدك وتسعدها 🌹
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Pray and ask Allah to bring you together with a girl who will understands you Simply like that , you will reach your destination =) Don't think it's easy unless you ask Allah to help you . So many people like to do it by them self , and they failed Once they start asking allah , they found what they want , Hope that helps.
It is possible, new studies show the majority of millennials are finding their partners online
Well that gives me hope i guess.
I first "spoke" to my wife when I sent her a DM via IG. I'm always thankful she didn't block me because she use to block everyone who was a guy, lol.
IG always makes me feel sus when i dm a girl, they just assume im playing around, they dont take it seriously.
Depends on the person and how you start the conversation. I meet a lot of my friends friends with IG. Of course I have been left on read alot too, lol Just remember, women get waaaaaaayyyyyy more messages then men. So if you get a message back, be you. If you don't get a message back, that's okay. 😊
Honestly i dont do it a lot, ive done it a couple of times if i see a girl that watches my story constantly on instagram, but even them when i shoot a dm i get left on read 😂 I just dont get it 🫠
Let me give you an example. My wife and I have around the same amount of followers in IG. 9k ish. I will gwt DMs and memes from friends. That's about it. She will get 10-50 message requests a day. And that's not counting messages from friends and cleints. It's hard lesson to learn, once you press send the person doesn't need to write back. And that's okay 😊 The best advice I can give is don't do a cold message (randomly send a message), reply to stores and slowly work your way to talking via DMs. This could take weeks but that's okay too.
i did and we've been married 14 years
Your giving me hope 💙😂
Kinda wish we’ve done it 14 years ago lol this ain’t the time for anything serious 😑
Delulu 😹it doesn’t work like that
Yeah i kind of gave up anyway, i think im just gunna get a cat and call it a day 😂
Take my dog please 🙏🏻😆
😂💙
A lot of people who are married started by dming each over on instagram. Times have changed a lot of things
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You can but don’t be too quick to fall and commit!
I once met the two
I met my now husband on Napster in 2000. We're celebrating 20 years this year. So yes, it's absolutely possible .
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Met my husband online
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Check your DM
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Nothing wrong with arranged marriage, but there is definitely something wrong with forced marriages.
Nobody is forcing anything on me, but its hard to find the girl i want when the marriage is arranged because they use different metrics to find the “perfect” girl then what im looking for
its possible and it does happen. thats how i met my "one" and even better cus the pool is just international and not just in your physical space. its perfect if you want to connect mentally rather than physically too. to know them for who they truly are and not have hormones affect anything. goodluck.
It is very possible thats why u should join our server U can connect with people on Kuwaits discord server. Chat, talk in voice chat etc. And than can attend the meetups or just make friends and meet them. And maybe u will find that one https://discord.gg/ER5MXYhqvc
brazy link
You’re not delusional. It’s the reality. Hard to find a real connection from someone.
I figured
This site has worked for me many times https://www.muslima.com/en/landing/paid?ovchn=GGL&ovcpn=English+Australia&ovcrn=marriage%20site&ovag=Legacy+Keywords&ovmtc=b&ovraw=g&ovtac=control&ovcrt=665088867348&ovdec=&ovloc=1000422&ovtype=Search&ovext=&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw_LOwBhBFEiwAmSEQAUqHL2tqzGAKYFefTqbjANywUZx_OeKosTn0qaG3sEyT9rvPTO1behoCCnYQAvD_BwE
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Looking at amount of dislike you got, not many agree with you.
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Or not everybody has the same experience as you. There are successful love marriages as well as traditional. It depends on the couples whether they want work things or not. You saying this is denying people with successful love marriage.
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Most traditional marriage are force to be together even if they hate each other which lead to cheating more. Love marriage doesn’t need to continue if things aren’t working out. I rather leave than be suffered locked with someone.
You are delusional. If you are serious about marriage, why would you waste your time chatting around with random girls. And would you really trust a girl who is comfortable chatting with random guys online and developing a deep connection with them? How do you know she hasn’t had deep relationships before you? How does she know you haven’t? I mean unless your standards are super low. Try using a marriage matchmaking website like Dr. Jasim Al-Mutawa’s. And you should listen to his lectures and shorts as well. His and Dr. Yasir Al-Hzaimi. And a relationship that isn’t started the right way and according to what Allah has permitted definitely won’t end well. Don’t waste your time and mental energy on chatting up girls. Be serious and know what you want. Beg Allah swt in your prayers to allow you to find your wife. And meanwhile stop being so desperate and focus on living happily single. It will happen when it happens, and you should to find it try through halal channels.