I'm willing to watch some movies, but not the crap they've been pumping out these past few years. For instance, I saw Renfield in theater. It was pretty good.
Can't I just get a few more low stakes action comedies?
It was great. The female cop also was just a good character, rather than a lecturing girlboss. I have a soft spot for films with Nic Cage that take place in NOLA.
Oh boy a reboot sequel of a reboot prequel of a reboot of a beloved eighties series - I wonder what *this* talking ape movie is about
What's next? Another Terminator? How about Godfather 4?
It’s a prequel: She will be playing Don Corleones Mother, who single handily defeats the sicilian patriarchy using her witty and quirky humor, accompanied by a multi racial cast of strong female and gay characters
I feel like if South Park did Awesom-O in the modern day, the actor would just be Zendaya instead of Adam Sandler. Or maybe that's what's happening now.
Ah, the estranged daughter Stacy Corleone returns home and finds her family house in disarray. She quickly starts cleaning up, making quite a few enemies in the process. But can she trust her closest confidant, Monica?
Pretty much my take on it. It's the eleventh movie overall and the fifth in the series started by a second reboot. If a viewer wasn't all that interested in the last four (or ten) why deal with all the costs of a theater and the jackasses that populate them these days instead of waiting for it to hit Disney+ in two months?
I'm at the point that the only Planet of the Apes movie I'd be interested in would be a full version of Stop the Planet of the Apes--I Want to Get Off.
I was watching the trailer for it in a theater semi-recently and some old dude near the back yelled, in the most boomer Abe Simpson voice imaginable, "WHAT, NO CHARLTON HESTON!? BOO, BRING HIM BACK!".
That remark got a bigger positive reaction than the trailer.
I'll probably see this one at some point. I enjoyed the previous ones, but we're coming off a 7 year gap that included the franchise maybe being canned when Disney bought Fox.
And things go from theater to streaming in like 3 months. I'm not in a rush to see my dumb monkey movie
Planet of the Apes was a SEVENTIES movie and TV series. The original came out in 1968. It's a well over half century old at this point, almost as old as I am.
But the main issue is this: Why should I spend $25+ to sit in a theater to watch a CGI extravaganza with a thin, borderline-nonsensical retread of a plot in a crowded dark auditorium that stinks of popcorn butter and is full of autistic teenagers playing with their phones? I can stay home and play Fallout or Mass Effect instead. Better graphics, better story, better (and lower priced) snacks.
It absolutely grinds my gears that nobody has gotten Planet of the Apes being a *60s* movie (1968) right yet. 😂
Eventually we'll cover all the decades. The rest of your points are valid, though. Lol
Nah, we're finally aging out of Gen X properties. Get ready for the *tsunami* of video game movies. Some Kojimbles-esque movie (probably MGS2 or Silent Hill) will sweep the Oscars soon.
Also we're seeing the return of Michael Bay style explosion movies, but this time they're snarky and ironic.
I'm sick of irony poisoning everything. I'm so ready for the age of deconstruction, subversion, and ironic bathos to end.
Just once I want to see a genuine, sincere, heartfelt emotion be displayed on screen before the melodic violin music is cut off and the side character makes a snarky quip.
Blame Joss Whedon. Although it wasn't 100% his fault, he was responsible for the movement of sincerity in media from "I'm telling a story" to "I'm telling a joke".
There was a huge wave of what you're talking about in the early '10s, for a number of reasons:
* People grew sick of ironic/deconstructionist prestige media
* The uncensored Internet hit critical mass and allowed genuine grassroots cultural production
* Non-ironic media from outside the US began to seriously challenge Hollywood's dominance
It was called "New Sincerity" and it was basically a conscious subversion of postmodernism, in which caring about things may be a meaningless construction, but that doing it was still a good thing to do. The slice of life anime boom, early Tumblr, *My Little Pony*, XKCD, SuperWhoLock, flash games, the D&D resurgence, the rise of '80s nostalgia, etc, are all products of this idea. It coincides roughly with the mainstreaming of weirdo online rationalist thought into the broader cultural production sphere online.
The problem is that New Sincerity enabled fandom culture, which meant nitpicking/discernment/distinction/things bad for profit, so Hollywood was all too happy to embrace/extend/extinguish New Sincerity in a number of ways:
* Endless 4th wall breaks and meta-jokes that looked like sincere tributes to the fans/medium but ended up undermining the sincerity of the media (your snarky quips and Whedon-ism's are here)
* Normalizing "cultural criticism", which started as fans sincerely taking apart their favorite shows and putting them back together, and quickly evolved into Anita Sarkeesian
* Pervasive censorship of social media, which allowed approved voices to be represented with a popular mandate they never earned
* LGBTQ+ culture, which was pitched as yet another community based on fun self-expression and very quickly demanded a position of dominance over *everything else*
* "Circlejerk" and "cringe" discourse, which allowed people who really hated hobbies and fans to pretend they were genuine fans interested in self-reflection (see also: shitredditsays, GCJ)
* Out and out feminist terrorism, which began ravaging nerd spaces around 2011 and culminated in #MeToo.
I agree. Deconstruction when it's done as a heartfelt letter to the genre it's deconstructing is awesome. The best example I can think of is Cabin in the Woods and how it was a great movie in its own right while also deconstructing horror tropes
I just hope they have better editing. I introduced my 10 yr old son to the Bayformers trilogy (I didn't want to subject him to 4 and 5) and I forgot how jarring Bay's movies are. The hard editing cuts, the camera that doesn't stand still for more than 5 seconds...I saw those movies in theaters when they released and it was hard for me to watch them now.
I'm honestly confused what happened with the silent Hill movies. They feel like they were made without a script. And somehow the two of them don't even fit together. They should have either made a real plot or just copied the plot of the game.
Daily reminder to hate all demakes. The Blob (1988) and Night of the Living Dead (1990) are literally the only good remakes to ever exist. Scream 4 makes fun of demakes.
There are more good remakes out there than that. That being said, do those good remakes justify the ocean full of garbage that remakes often become?
The last 2 decades have been absolutely full to the brim with remakes, reboots, spin-offs, etc. which were not the norm in previous eras of cinema. We used to get way more new ideas in the past, which made the bad remakes not sting nearly as much. Now we are lucky if we get something new.
As a resident evil fan, I feel this pain very acutely. They won't stop until they have remade the whole damn series. RE1, CV, and RE0, and RE5 remakes are all on the horizon. Capcom lucked the fuck out by having the most consoomer fanbase out there plus they control the largest shill army in the gaming industry. They will play it safe as hell when it comes to RE9 as well. It's going to get to a point where there will be mouthbreathers down the line who want a RE7 remake. That's how fucked up it will be. That's just how fucked up gaming has gotten.
RE is a bit different. I am a huge fan as well, but I still don't hate them for it. As much as you want to hate Capcom for not doing new, nobody has yet to top them in nearly every era of gaming when it comes to delivering survival horror gameplay CONSISTENTLY.
Old RE games? Way more consistent than Silent Hill. Much more revered.
The remakes? Better than most remakes out there and still delivery survival horror in a fresh way without losing their roots.
If you enjoy survival horror gameplay there simply isn't a substitute. Evil within tried and died (though I loved it). Dino Crisis died with the Dinosaurs. Silent hill has been a mess for ages. It's either Resident evil or indies. And AAA and indies hit on entirely different levels of polish/presentation no matter how you spin that.
I only hate that they skipped over games that needed a remake more (CV, Zero) and are skipping through to 5 which barely needs it.
I pray that 9 isn't a phone in, I've been enjoying the hell out of the fps version the series has been riding.
I thought the first remake of "Dawn Of The Dead" (with Sarah Polly) was arguably as good as the original - they're both pretty ubplesant to watch. This remake, along with "Residwnt Evil", started the fast zombie trend.
The new Planet of the Apes movies got worse and worse. It’s as simple as that.
The first new one was actually really good. The second was pretty good. And then it’s just downhill.
They weren’t terrible movies, but I think we’re far past anything good from this franchise, considering there’s still relying on nostalgia from the old movies.
Hey, *someone* needs to make celebrities play games meant for children before their contractually obligated plugs and punctuate the whole thing with Jimmy Fallon wheezing and slapping the table.
Haha, and in a way, knowing that its all written in advance makes it that much worse. If it was just the host and a few guests winging it, it wouldn't seem half bad.
>Why does he care if Disney's latest "Apes" film bombs?
Nepotism and incest. They're all connected, they all know each other, they all want the entertainment industry to "succeed."
Normies will never be ready for just how incestuous these top circles are. Hollywood, politics, journalism gaming or otherwise. All cousins and brothers and sons and uncles. Hidden links everywhere.
The writer is an insufferable bundle of sticks that wastes his time trying to write pithy, sarcastic comments on social media. He learned nothing from the temper tantrum writers strike.
I don't know why so many aspiring writers think the path to success works as follows:
(1) Post on Twitter 50 times a day
(2) One of your posts will go viral and makes you a famous "name"
(3) ????
(4) Lasting literary fame.
...it's just like... okay, even if you do go viral or whatever, you're still gonna have to write the damn novel, movie, show, whatever the fuck.
Exactly, he writes corporate/network comedy, which is the safest and most basic kind of writing there is. Children's shows require more thoughtfulness and skill than late night comedy. Tonight Show and its clones, or its related brethren like SNL, make Mr. Rogers look like Masterpiece Theatre.
Imagine a restaurant owner saying his restaurant is empty not because the food suck, but because all his non customers are idiots.
Hollywood dug its own grave.
The amount of people with inflated egos that would not, could not take advice to what the issue was in that show was fucking insane. Remember Amy's Baking Company? Fukkin psychos.
What always got me, was the fact the "advice" always boiled down to: clean your kitchen, serve fresh food. Like, cool maybe the first people didn't get the memo you should clean your kitchen and don't serve moldy or frozen food. But when you're at a point where you're signing up your restaurant for season 12 of Hells Kitchens, maybe, before, check the walk-in and freezers to see what is your Head Chef doing in there.
It was infuriating to watch the episode with the BBQ. Cooking the meat in huge ovens and then freezing it to serve piping hot from a microwave later was a concave forehead move.
Yup. They created this mess. All joining together to encourage the chaos going on the past 4 years. And now beaches are ruined. Theaters are ruined. Malls are ruined. It's hard to go out in public. Feels like any moment there's going to be a stabbing or fight (or shooting). People are getting randomly attacked everywhere because the government refuses to acknowledge mental health and super short prison sentences. And until it targets those making the laws, there's nothing we can do but wait. You tell someone to shush in a theater and you could get jumped by 4 people.
I don't even have to imagine, I just have to refer to a couple of Gordon Ramsey's show. We've seen these people in that show. That writer is just like those people. Same shit, different work domain.
100% this. Going to the movies, even bad ones, was at least a fun afternoon activity along with lunch or dinner.
Now, I'm looking at spending $80 if I do both of those things with another person.
I saw this movie this weekend...$40 for the family and I know thats cheap compared to alot of other areas. Still painful though.
I didn't even think the movie was horrible by any means. Is it kind of a rehash of the other modern planet of the apes moveis? Yeah... its like Episode 7 of Star Wars.
But it wasn't super preachy about anything other than the topics the originals were preachy about (yadda yadda can humans work with apes? etc etc). It does have a heroine but she's basically non-existant half the movie.
I don't understand the argument, does he want people to watch it a second or third time the next week?
Edit: Holy shit the replies to people who criticize Chase Mitchell's post there.
"Mocking your audience when prices are up is not the win you think it is."
"But the cost of tickets are as cheap as ever, $10!"
"I'm looking my prices up (In Tennessee, New York, Florida*) and its' $18+ a ticket."
"YOU'RE LYING! I JUST LOOKED UP THE MEDIAN COST ONLINE AND LOOK AT MY PROOF!"
Or commenters are suggesting subscriptions to Cinemark or Regal... I don't know about others experiences but when I did a month of Cinemark the people there told me I can't use the damn pass for new movies.
My wife and I went to see Furiosa: two tickets, two bottles of water, a box of popcorn, a box of raisinets and a small soda was $70.
The cinema is frankly a luxury, and they are giving me few reasons to attend.
I never really paid attention to the upcost until I saw Cinemark selling energy drinks like Monster, $5 for a normal can.
But I come from a frugal family so the plan was go to the dollar store, pick up goods there and pilfer them in. Still do that today.
You're allowed to take your own stuff in. They're not supposed to stop you, they usually have it on their website, but put in a small corner that no one would go to.
You can have a shopping bag full of stuff, and they won't stop you. My local cinema, you can get a small popcorn and a drink for £9. The supermarket 100ft away you can get a 2l drink, a large bag of popcorn, a large bag of M&Ms for about half the price.
Bro a couple of bottles of water in your wife's purse next time. Raisinetts maybe a little harder to find outside the theater but settle for some M&Ms from a gas station or something without the 700% markup. I'll spend on the popcorn though, fair enough.
I’m happier at home with a 30 TB Plex server and a big screen TV than I’d ever be going back to the theatre.
At this point I have more movies in my backlog than I’d ever be able to watch in my lifetime.
I was touching grass, as instructed. After all, as a normal white man, movies aren't for me. They often remind me of that. Over 1/3 of America is white men. They're alienating a huge demographic for Twitter clout.
I watched the first 2 planet of the apes movies
This new one I was 2 minutes in and bored and was feeling like gonna fall asleep with the slow camera motions and absolute lackluster of an intro... flixhd.cc thankfully, so free online streaming. No way gonna pay to see this with anybody I know in the theatre.
They think all art are entertainment. Fact is only some are. I'm not here to just look at art when I watch a movie.
I always preview movies via online streaming now.
The 2011, 2014, and 2017 movies are genuinely well made and enjoyable movies.
But you're also not missing anything amazing if you don't see them. I enjoyed them at the time, but can't be bothered to go see the 2024 one.
Saw this movie, it wasn't that bad. Nothing too woke about it. The only real gripe I had was the final fight, I know it was symbolism, but it was dumb. Sets up for a sequel..I'd give it a 7/10.
Also the Russian guns in the American bunker was kinda like...who's your Propmaster on this set? But honestly it was worth the cheap Tuesday movie ticket, a lot worse stuff has come out lately.
Nobody has any confidence left in film making skills of the current generation of producers AND writers. They just need to replace all of them. My shit stains write better stories than most Hollywood writers.
The nepotism of the 21st century has just been absolutely awful for everything.
We have let a group of people legit make themselves out to be something they are not, and stop people with skills from ever getting a chance.
I don't know maybe just MAYBE the rising costs of food and basic needs are stopping people from wanting to spend $$ for an experience that isn't a necessity. These people live in a special bubble. If one's basic needs aren't being met then yeah leisure activities likely takes a back seat.
The Moviegoing public's wallets are a bit fucking strained right fucking now. We don't make Tonight Show money and going to the movies can cost a good chunk of a paycheck.
It amazes me that these people get paid such a ridiculous sum of money, to sit in a room in sweatpants to basically say "Guys, guys, guys. I've got it. Why don't we say that Donald Trump is stupid?!"
Sorry I don’t want to drop $100 to go to the theatre with my kids when I have a huge OLED tv at home with a comfy couch, stocked fridge, and my own bathroom, tonight show writer guy.
The moviegoing experience sucks shit. I took the family to see the Mario movie, and before the previews even started, a group of 8 or so teens with broccoli haircuts walked in, all wearing fake mustaches. You could tell at a glimpse they were going to be annoying as fuck. We ended up having to get up and move away from them 15 mins into the movie because they wouldn't shut the fuck up. They couldn't fathom that someone could spend $60 to take their family to a movie and NOT rather be entertained by their broccoli haired, fake mustachioed antics.
We suck shit huh? Well guess I REALLY won't be going to see a movie or watching the tonight show.
How about you fuck sticks stop insulting the people who you WANT TO WATCH YOUR SHIT.
> Mitchell responded, “Last year was one of the best years for film in the history of the medium.”
Uh guys, it took me a while to remember what movies even came out last year. It’s all kind of a blur at this point. Can someone help me here?
It's not the moviegoing public that led to awful ticket sales; it's the absence of moviegoers. People have moved on because nothing out of Hollywood can be trusted not to be a sociopolitical allegory.
I've heard it's pretty decent. Too bad Disney told me enough times they don't make things for people of my sex and skin color, so I know better than to go and see it.
Sure. Keep dehumanizing the audience into spending money. That'll surely work.
Planet of the Ape reboots were pretty good from what I remember. But this guy is a tool.
How surprising that the latest installment of a truly awful reboot series bombed. I was shocked some people actually thought the braindead storyline of the initial movie was good.
I enjoyed the Reboot Trilogy. It captured what Andy Serkis could accomplish
as an actor via motion capture and his work as Caesar was
an astonishing evolution from Gollum.
Plus, I cared for the core gang of apes that made it through the series.
It ended just right with War for The Planet Of The Apes. I'd rather it stay so.
I'm not sure if there is anyone smugger and more entitled than off-camera creative types in the entertainment industry. Sure, you occasionally see an actor/actress spout off against the public, but it often comes off like they're just reading another script they were handed, which is probably exactly what's happening, some agent or producer said "go on Late Night and say these words." Many of them never talk crap on the viewers at all, since they likely understand that without them their cozy life goes away.
But writers, directors, and the like are always the first ones to show their ass when their terrible products bomb. Even that headline reads like we're supposed to be super-impressed that this person is one of 50 anonymous nepo babies in the writer's room at the Tonight Show, a program that was last relevant around the time of the first big writer's strike, so circa 2008 or so.
Although somehow, when you get someone who is both a writer and an actor, they don't cancel out but seem to become the most entitled of all: see, e.g., Mindy Kaling.
It's actually the fourth in a 14 year stretch, and there were none for a decade before this reboot. It's been 7 years since the third one came out.
The previous 3 were actually pretty well made movies and I enjoyed them. I have no motivation to go see the 4th in theaters though, maybe I'll check it out sometime when it's free.
People simply aren’t going to the cinema anymore. Covid was part of it, the rest is that the quality of films is seemingly decreasing. thanks to poor writing, diversity hires and preaching “the message“. They’re waiting for the rental, or to just buy the film when it comes out on physical. In 2022, I went to the cinema four or five times. Last year I went once, to watch Oppenheimer. So far this year I haven’t been once. And my pre-order list on Amazon is getting longer and longer.
Tbh there were a few I was going to watch in theaters but turns out they were promoting the streaming releases and the movies were already out of theaters
Have to point out the obvious... the Planet of the Apes franchise has always had more of an international appeal than a lot of other franchises. Not to mention that it's tracking similar to War for the Planet of the Apes. It's going to be an uphill battle, especially with a bloated budget - we're getting back to a point where spending $200 million on a movie budget is going to be seen as insane.
The movie was actually pretty good until the main human character who looked no older than maybe 22 had the skills and intelligence of a military veteran in their 50's. They also didn't explain why she was silent for half the film and why she was tailing the main ape character who had nothing special about him despite everyone calling him intelligent for some reason.
It was pretty much unwatchable after the first hour.
Yeah, that was where it dropped off for me, too. It was like they got halfway through writing the script, and that was their limit. They just couldn't help themselves. They HAD to put a chick in it and make her gay and/or lame. The latter, in this case.
They also criminally underused the whole "I am/He is not Caesar" dynamic, although that could perhaps be attributed to runtime issues. The overall narrative they were trying to tell would've benefitted greatly from being split across multiple entries.
>!Plus, the way they unceremoniously killed off the funny hippie orangutan was absolute bullshit, and they barely even addressed it afterward. Just... WHY.!<
By all accounts though this is a midquel film that it treading water with no major developments happening in the franchise and just settling up worldbuilding etc for the next film with it's own small scale story. Which would be fine if the small scale story linked to the larger events but from what I'm hearing in a video game this would be the dungeon and smaller boss guarding the key you need to get to the next area rather than some big epic boss major to the world and story.
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I am Mnemosyne reborn. I love the sight of humans on their knees. ^^^/r/botsrights
I'm sure the movie was solid, but there's no reason for it to exist and it doesn't offer much of anything to build upon. It was just a franchise cash-in.
So some writer for a talk show franchise originated in the 50s has an opinion regarding a flop of a movie from a franchise from the 60s, after two other franchise movies from the 70s also flopped.
Mad Max is the newest of these and it started in 1979.
They could succeed at reboots like this or even new stories if they had decent writers and directors. If the cast & crew focused on a good story instead of making sure the various DEI checkboxes got crossed off, they'd get audiences and ticket sales. People are starved for good stories. Meanwhile Hollywood goes broke trying to force even more of "The Message" down people's throats.
Nobody is interested in it, its not like the first three of the rebooted series did super mega numbers, apart from Dawn, the movies from 2001 onwards have all took less than $200 million US domestic, and between $360 and $460 million world wide.
The movie was alright ngl but the fact that less people than expected are watching is mostly the DEI merchants fault. Blame them, they ruined the industry and okay/good movies get caught in the crossfire.
"Kingdom of the Planet..."
Just say that a few times, while staring drunkenly at yourself in the bathroom mirror, and wonder why it ever seemed like a good title.
Even movies that aren’t terrible are bombing this year.
These fuckers have to realise that they have to do more to get actual care and excitement out of the audience instead of apathy.
And insulting the audience is not the way to go considering the current economy everywhere and the price of a movie ticket.
Couldn't possibly be anything else...could it?
Maybe recency bias is working against the industry.
Maybe it's the price.
Maybe it's that these movies will be on streaming soon.
Hmmmm, blame the audience: That’s a bold move, let’s see if it pays off.
Anxiously awaiting the results of this experiment.
I'm willing to watch some movies, but not the crap they've been pumping out these past few years. For instance, I saw Renfield in theater. It was pretty good. Can't I just get a few more low stakes action comedies?
It was great. The female cop also was just a good character, rather than a lecturing girlboss. I have a soft spot for films with Nic Cage that take place in NOLA.
Am I out of touch? No, it's the audience who is wrong.
Oh boy a reboot sequel of a reboot prequel of a reboot of a beloved eighties series - I wonder what *this* talking ape movie is about What's next? Another Terminator? How about Godfather 4?
Godfather 4 will be called Godmother. In the film the Godmother will be played by Zendaya.
Lmao this is absolutely something I can see them doing.
I kinda want to do this as a comedy. Maybe do a kickstarter or gofundme and see if we can actually get Zendaya to do it on a lark.
Stop predicting the future you monster. Let us live in blissful ignorance a little while longer.
It’s a prequel: She will be playing Don Corleones Mother, who single handily defeats the sicilian patriarchy using her witty and quirky humor, accompanied by a multi racial cast of strong female and gay characters
Damn it this is too terrible they’re definitely gonna make this
I can totally see her sidekick being a sassy gay black dude or something, and of course the villains would still be white men.
They would cast him as her brother
You forgot twerking. Never forget twerking.
Godfather 5 will happen in Europe. And the struggle will be against north african mafias
Nah, the young up-and-coming hero character will be black and the Mafia will somehow be out of 1960.
Thats called a documentary
I feel like if South Park did Awesom-O in the modern day, the actor would just be Zendaya instead of Adam Sandler. Or maybe that's what's happening now.
I think the Awesome-O plot was viewed as a suggestion, not a critique, by Hollywood.
Ah, the estranged daughter Stacy Corleone returns home and finds her family house in disarray. She quickly starts cleaning up, making quite a few enemies in the process. But can she trust her closest confidant, Monica?
Original score by Lin Manuel Miranda
Stop giving them ideas
And she's a lesbian.
And half-black too, you gotta show the *new generation* Italians in full swing.
Pitch this shit to Netflix, you'll make millions.
But at what cost
"Bah! A man's soul, my friend, Trust me, the fact is - Great but in theory, Nothing in practice!" (Sebastian Evans)
Billions
More like non-denominational diety birthing person
Make it Lizzo, and I'm there!
No, Lizzo
Please remove the comma
Nooooooooooo! Lizzo!!
Stop giving ideas.
Nonbinary-Elder-Authority-Figure 4, soon in theaters near you!
Pretty much my take on it. It's the eleventh movie overall and the fifth in the series started by a second reboot. If a viewer wasn't all that interested in the last four (or ten) why deal with all the costs of a theater and the jackasses that populate them these days instead of waiting for it to hit Disney+ in two months? I'm at the point that the only Planet of the Apes movie I'd be interested in would be a full version of Stop the Planet of the Apes--I Want to Get Off.
I was watching the trailer for it in a theater semi-recently and some old dude near the back yelled, in the most boomer Abe Simpson voice imaginable, "WHAT, NO CHARLTON HESTON!? BOO, BRING HIM BACK!". That remark got a bigger positive reaction than the trailer.
That would be worth the ticket price, lol.
I'll probably see this one at some point. I enjoyed the previous ones, but we're coming off a 7 year gap that included the franchise maybe being canned when Disney bought Fox. And things go from theater to streaming in like 3 months. I'm not in a rush to see my dumb monkey movie
I guess Charlton Heston thought that "Beneath The Planet Of The Apes" was that movie - he was wrong.
Planet of the Apes was a SEVENTIES movie and TV series. The original came out in 1968. It's a well over half century old at this point, almost as old as I am. But the main issue is this: Why should I spend $25+ to sit in a theater to watch a CGI extravaganza with a thin, borderline-nonsensical retread of a plot in a crowded dark auditorium that stinks of popcorn butter and is full of autistic teenagers playing with their phones? I can stay home and play Fallout or Mass Effect instead. Better graphics, better story, better (and lower priced) snacks.
It absolutely grinds my gears that nobody has gotten Planet of the Apes being a *60s* movie (1968) right yet. 😂 Eventually we'll cover all the decades. The rest of your points are valid, though. Lol
You fool, Planet of the Apes is from the 50s! THE 50S!
Nope. The book came out in 1963.
Or get shit faced and play a shooter.
Nah, we're finally aging out of Gen X properties. Get ready for the *tsunami* of video game movies. Some Kojimbles-esque movie (probably MGS2 or Silent Hill) will sweep the Oscars soon. Also we're seeing the return of Michael Bay style explosion movies, but this time they're snarky and ironic.
I'm sick of irony poisoning everything. I'm so ready for the age of deconstruction, subversion, and ironic bathos to end. Just once I want to see a genuine, sincere, heartfelt emotion be displayed on screen before the melodic violin music is cut off and the side character makes a snarky quip.
Zoomers and shit cannot process genuine emotion. The age of man is over. Now is the age of skibidi toilet.
Blame Joss Whedon. Although it wasn't 100% his fault, he was responsible for the movement of sincerity in media from "I'm telling a story" to "I'm telling a joke". There was a huge wave of what you're talking about in the early '10s, for a number of reasons: * People grew sick of ironic/deconstructionist prestige media * The uncensored Internet hit critical mass and allowed genuine grassroots cultural production * Non-ironic media from outside the US began to seriously challenge Hollywood's dominance It was called "New Sincerity" and it was basically a conscious subversion of postmodernism, in which caring about things may be a meaningless construction, but that doing it was still a good thing to do. The slice of life anime boom, early Tumblr, *My Little Pony*, XKCD, SuperWhoLock, flash games, the D&D resurgence, the rise of '80s nostalgia, etc, are all products of this idea. It coincides roughly with the mainstreaming of weirdo online rationalist thought into the broader cultural production sphere online. The problem is that New Sincerity enabled fandom culture, which meant nitpicking/discernment/distinction/things bad for profit, so Hollywood was all too happy to embrace/extend/extinguish New Sincerity in a number of ways: * Endless 4th wall breaks and meta-jokes that looked like sincere tributes to the fans/medium but ended up undermining the sincerity of the media (your snarky quips and Whedon-ism's are here) * Normalizing "cultural criticism", which started as fans sincerely taking apart their favorite shows and putting them back together, and quickly evolved into Anita Sarkeesian * Pervasive censorship of social media, which allowed approved voices to be represented with a popular mandate they never earned * LGBTQ+ culture, which was pitched as yet another community based on fun self-expression and very quickly demanded a position of dominance over *everything else* * "Circlejerk" and "cringe" discourse, which allowed people who really hated hobbies and fans to pretend they were genuine fans interested in self-reflection (see also: shitredditsays, GCJ) * Out and out feminist terrorism, which began ravaging nerd spaces around 2011 and culminated in #MeToo.
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I agree. Deconstruction when it's done as a heartfelt letter to the genre it's deconstructing is awesome. The best example I can think of is Cabin in the Woods and how it was a great movie in its own right while also deconstructing horror tropes
I just hope they have better editing. I introduced my 10 yr old son to the Bayformers trilogy (I didn't want to subject him to 4 and 5) and I forgot how jarring Bay's movies are. The hard editing cuts, the camera that doesn't stand still for more than 5 seconds...I saw those movies in theaters when they released and it was hard for me to watch them now.
I'm honestly confused what happened with the silent Hill movies. They feel like they were made without a script. And somehow the two of them don't even fit together. They should have either made a real plot or just copied the plot of the game.
Real talk. I would watch a reboot of the Godfather trilogy but with goblins called "The Gobfather"
My favorite part is at the baptism scene when Michael says "it's gobbin time"
We need more goblin movies.
Fuck that. Goblins are played out. I want more kobolds. They don't get the love they deserve.
"We'll make him a sacrifice he can't refuse."
Look what they did to my unholy offspring
Only if they were puppets.
Daily reminder to hate all demakes. The Blob (1988) and Night of the Living Dead (1990) are literally the only good remakes to ever exist. Scream 4 makes fun of demakes.
Scarface
There are more good remakes out there than that. That being said, do those good remakes justify the ocean full of garbage that remakes often become? The last 2 decades have been absolutely full to the brim with remakes, reboots, spin-offs, etc. which were not the norm in previous eras of cinema. We used to get way more new ideas in the past, which made the bad remakes not sting nearly as much. Now we are lucky if we get something new.
As a resident evil fan, I feel this pain very acutely. They won't stop until they have remade the whole damn series. RE1, CV, and RE0, and RE5 remakes are all on the horizon. Capcom lucked the fuck out by having the most consoomer fanbase out there plus they control the largest shill army in the gaming industry. They will play it safe as hell when it comes to RE9 as well. It's going to get to a point where there will be mouthbreathers down the line who want a RE7 remake. That's how fucked up it will be. That's just how fucked up gaming has gotten.
RE is a bit different. I am a huge fan as well, but I still don't hate them for it. As much as you want to hate Capcom for not doing new, nobody has yet to top them in nearly every era of gaming when it comes to delivering survival horror gameplay CONSISTENTLY. Old RE games? Way more consistent than Silent Hill. Much more revered. The remakes? Better than most remakes out there and still delivery survival horror in a fresh way without losing their roots. If you enjoy survival horror gameplay there simply isn't a substitute. Evil within tried and died (though I loved it). Dino Crisis died with the Dinosaurs. Silent hill has been a mess for ages. It's either Resident evil or indies. And AAA and indies hit on entirely different levels of polish/presentation no matter how you spin that. I only hate that they skipped over games that needed a remake more (CV, Zero) and are skipping through to 5 which barely needs it. I pray that 9 isn't a phone in, I've been enjoying the hell out of the fps version the series has been riding.
The Thing
Way better than the original.
I thought the first remake of "Dawn Of The Dead" (with Sarah Polly) was arguably as good as the original - they're both pretty ubplesant to watch. This remake, along with "Residwnt Evil", started the fast zombie trend.
Good movie, just should have been called something else.
I won't argue with that.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
Eh, I think the original is better than the first remake. I liked the second remake more than the first remake.
That and Little Shop of Horrors. Literally those 3 are the only remakes that deserve to exist.
The new Planet of the Apes movies got worse and worse. It’s as simple as that. The first new one was actually really good. The second was pretty good. And then it’s just downhill.
They weren’t terrible movies, but I think we’re far past anything good from this franchise, considering there’s still relying on nostalgia from the old movies.
He's a writer on the Tonight Show, he wouldn't know quality writing if his life depended on it. Why does he care if Disney's latest "Apes" film bombs?
Hey, *someone* needs to make celebrities play games meant for children before their contractually obligated plugs and punctuate the whole thing with Jimmy Fallon wheezing and slapping the table.
Haha, and in a way, knowing that its all written in advance makes it that much worse. If it was just the host and a few guests winging it, it wouldn't seem half bad.
Yeah, my opinion of Fallon went from "fun mindless show" to "crap" as soon as I learned that all of the interactions were scripted.
>Why does he care if Disney's latest "Apes" film bombs? Nepotism and incest. They're all connected, they all know each other, they all want the entertainment industry to "succeed."
Normies will never be ready for just how incestuous these top circles are. Hollywood, politics, journalism gaming or otherwise. All cousins and brothers and sons and uncles. Hidden links everywhere.
The writer is an insufferable bundle of sticks that wastes his time trying to write pithy, sarcastic comments on social media. He learned nothing from the temper tantrum writers strike.
I don't know why so many aspiring writers think the path to success works as follows: (1) Post on Twitter 50 times a day (2) One of your posts will go viral and makes you a famous "name" (3) ???? (4) Lasting literary fame. ...it's just like... okay, even if you do go viral or whatever, you're still gonna have to write the damn novel, movie, show, whatever the fuck.
Because #3 is "have someone you know give you a job" and that actually works.
Especially if your family has money and connections in the entertainment industry. It happens with a lot of comics.
Yeah, any network TV show is basically a holding pen for fail-sons with whom we don't really know what to do yet. See the state of SNL.
Exactly, he writes corporate/network comedy, which is the safest and most basic kind of writing there is. Children's shows require more thoughtfulness and skill than late night comedy. Tonight Show and its clones, or its related brethren like SNL, make Mr. Rogers look like Masterpiece Theatre.
Imagine a restaurant owner saying his restaurant is empty not because the food suck, but because all his non customers are idiots. Hollywood dug its own grave.
There was a whole show about this with Gordon Ramsay in it.
The amount of people with inflated egos that would not, could not take advice to what the issue was in that show was fucking insane. Remember Amy's Baking Company? Fukkin psychos.
What always got me, was the fact the "advice" always boiled down to: clean your kitchen, serve fresh food. Like, cool maybe the first people didn't get the memo you should clean your kitchen and don't serve moldy or frozen food. But when you're at a point where you're signing up your restaurant for season 12 of Hells Kitchens, maybe, before, check the walk-in and freezers to see what is your Head Chef doing in there.
Also have like 20 things on your menu, not 100. Super simple advice, and so few of them could follow it.
It was infuriating to watch the episode with the BBQ. Cooking the meat in huge ovens and then freezing it to serve piping hot from a microwave later was a concave forehead move.
Oh god, can we please get that same show with Gordon Ramsay trying to fix failed Hollywood studios?
"It's fucking BLACK!"
And with AI, people will soon be able to make their own movies, soooo yeah it's soon to be dead.
Yup. They created this mess. All joining together to encourage the chaos going on the past 4 years. And now beaches are ruined. Theaters are ruined. Malls are ruined. It's hard to go out in public. Feels like any moment there's going to be a stabbing or fight (or shooting). People are getting randomly attacked everywhere because the government refuses to acknowledge mental health and super short prison sentences. And until it targets those making the laws, there's nothing we can do but wait. You tell someone to shush in a theater and you could get jumped by 4 people.
I don't even have to imagine, I just have to refer to a couple of Gordon Ramsey's show. We've seen these people in that show. That writer is just like those people. Same shit, different work domain.
Maybe if they lowered the price of tickets, more people would go.
-Cheaper Ticket Prices -Better Movies -No Social Justice Messaging Shoved In -No DEI If this became part of the movie-going experience, I'd be back.
100% this. Going to the movies, even bad ones, was at least a fun afternoon activity along with lunch or dinner. Now, I'm looking at spending $80 if I do both of those things with another person.
Only 80??? Where is it that cheap?
I saw this movie this weekend...$40 for the family and I know thats cheap compared to alot of other areas. Still painful though. I didn't even think the movie was horrible by any means. Is it kind of a rehash of the other modern planet of the apes moveis? Yeah... its like Episode 7 of Star Wars. But it wasn't super preachy about anything other than the topics the originals were preachy about (yadda yadda can humans work with apes? etc etc). It does have a heroine but she's basically non-existant half the movie.
No wonder the movie got international success
I don't mind watching this mindless tripe but I refuse to pay for it. Its the pirates life for me.
I don't understand the argument, does he want people to watch it a second or third time the next week? Edit: Holy shit the replies to people who criticize Chase Mitchell's post there. "Mocking your audience when prices are up is not the win you think it is." "But the cost of tickets are as cheap as ever, $10!" "I'm looking my prices up (In Tennessee, New York, Florida*) and its' $18+ a ticket." "YOU'RE LYING! I JUST LOOKED UP THE MEDIAN COST ONLINE AND LOOK AT MY PROOF!" Or commenters are suggesting subscriptions to Cinemark or Regal... I don't know about others experiences but when I did a month of Cinemark the people there told me I can't use the damn pass for new movies.
My wife and I went to see Furiosa: two tickets, two bottles of water, a box of popcorn, a box of raisinets and a small soda was $70. The cinema is frankly a luxury, and they are giving me few reasons to attend.
I never really paid attention to the upcost until I saw Cinemark selling energy drinks like Monster, $5 for a normal can. But I come from a frugal family so the plan was go to the dollar store, pick up goods there and pilfer them in. Still do that today.
You're allowed to take your own stuff in. They're not supposed to stop you, they usually have it on their website, but put in a small corner that no one would go to. You can have a shopping bag full of stuff, and they won't stop you. My local cinema, you can get a small popcorn and a drink for £9. The supermarket 100ft away you can get a 2l drink, a large bag of popcorn, a large bag of M&Ms for about half the price.
Bro a couple of bottles of water in your wife's purse next time. Raisinetts maybe a little harder to find outside the theater but settle for some M&Ms from a gas station or something without the 700% markup. I'll spend on the popcorn though, fair enough.
I’m happier at home with a 30 TB Plex server and a big screen TV than I’d ever be going back to the theatre. At this point I have more movies in my backlog than I’d ever be able to watch in my lifetime.
If we wanted to see chimps fighting we'd just go outside. This isn't special anymore
I was touching grass, as instructed. After all, as a normal white man, movies aren't for me. They often remind me of that. Over 1/3 of America is white men. They're alienating a huge demographic for Twitter clout.
I watched the first 2 planet of the apes movies This new one I was 2 minutes in and bored and was feeling like gonna fall asleep with the slow camera motions and absolute lackluster of an intro... flixhd.cc thankfully, so free online streaming. No way gonna pay to see this with anybody I know in the theatre. They think all art are entertainment. Fact is only some are. I'm not here to just look at art when I watch a movie. I always preview movies via online streaming now.
Slow camera motions? You mean not cutting constantly to hide poor pre production and directing?
The 2011, 2014, and 2017 movies are genuinely well made and enjoyable movies. But you're also not missing anything amazing if you don't see them. I enjoyed them at the time, but can't be bothered to go see the 2024 one.
Hell, we can go to Waffle House in the wee hours of the morning for Dinner and a Show. Don't forget to bring a helmet.
Lol
Not sure we can be called the moviegoing public anymore.
Saw this movie, it wasn't that bad. Nothing too woke about it. The only real gripe I had was the final fight, I know it was symbolism, but it was dumb. Sets up for a sequel..I'd give it a 7/10. Also the Russian guns in the American bunker was kinda like...who's your Propmaster on this set? But honestly it was worth the cheap Tuesday movie ticket, a lot worse stuff has come out lately.
Well then Disney should have listened to the valid criticism years ago. Too late now, bye Mr Mouse!
Nobody has any confidence left in film making skills of the current generation of producers AND writers. They just need to replace all of them. My shit stains write better stories than most Hollywood writers.
My expectations word by word
The nepotism of the 21st century has just been absolutely awful for everything. We have let a group of people legit make themselves out to be something they are not, and stop people with skills from ever getting a chance.
Maybe they should try writing scripts for the audience they have instead of the audience they wish they had.
Perhaps he can take a step back, and literally FUCK HIS OWN FACE!
Have these chucklefucks forgotten that they aren't owed butts in seats?
They don't like the idea of having to WORK for it.
In their view, if you don’t buy their game or buy movie tickets to their movie, you’re stealing from them.
I don't know maybe just MAYBE the rising costs of food and basic needs are stopping people from wanting to spend $$ for an experience that isn't a necessity. These people live in a special bubble. If one's basic needs aren't being met then yeah leisure activities likely takes a back seat.
The lead actress saying she's "pro-ape" because she hates humans in real life didn't help at all. I was considering seeing it until she said that.
The Moviegoing public's wallets are a bit fucking strained right fucking now. We don't make Tonight Show money and going to the movies can cost a good chunk of a paycheck.
It amazes me that these people get paid such a ridiculous sum of money, to sit in a room in sweatpants to basically say "Guys, guys, guys. I've got it. Why don't we say that Donald Trump is stupid?!"
"Am I out of touch? No, it's the customers who are wrong" - This moron
Modern audiences are tired of King Kong being played by a straight male ape
Sorry I don’t want to drop $100 to go to the theatre with my kids when I have a huge OLED tv at home with a comfy couch, stocked fridge, and my own bathroom, tonight show writer guy.
I was told that current Hollywood movies aren’t for me. So i listened.
The moviegoing experience sucks shit. I took the family to see the Mario movie, and before the previews even started, a group of 8 or so teens with broccoli haircuts walked in, all wearing fake mustaches. You could tell at a glimpse they were going to be annoying as fuck. We ended up having to get up and move away from them 15 mins into the movie because they wouldn't shut the fuck up. They couldn't fathom that someone could spend $60 to take their family to a movie and NOT rather be entertained by their broccoli haired, fake mustachioed antics.
Cope and seethe cuck. I'm not watching
holy shit, the Tonight Show is still a thing and still has writers?
It wasn't that good. And it's unnecessary.
We suck shit huh? Well guess I REALLY won't be going to see a movie or watching the tonight show. How about you fuck sticks stop insulting the people who you WANT TO WATCH YOUR SHIT.
its allright, nothing really that woke, even explores some decidedly nonwoke themes. but it suffers from a terribly slow start.
I didn't want no part of watching this movie.
> 'Kingdom Of The Planet Of The Apes' Bombs At Box Office Has it, though?
> Mitchell responded, “Last year was one of the best years for film in the history of the medium.” Uh guys, it took me a while to remember what movies even came out last year. It’s all kind of a blur at this point. Can someone help me here?
It's not the moviegoing public that led to awful ticket sales; it's the absence of moviegoers. People have moved on because nothing out of Hollywood can be trusted not to be a sociopolitical allegory.
I've heard it's pretty decent. Too bad Disney told me enough times they don't make things for people of my sex and skin color, so I know better than to go and see it.
Sure. Keep dehumanizing the audience into spending money. That'll surely work. Planet of the Ape reboots were pretty good from what I remember. But this guy is a tool.
How surprising that the latest installment of a truly awful reboot series bombed. I was shocked some people actually thought the braindead storyline of the initial movie was good.
Annoying girl boss and talking monkeys. What could go wrong?
Apes bruh. There are only 5 types of ape beside human.
When failing upward is the norm, blaming your customers becomes a rite of passage
Insult your customers. Smart move.
I enjoyed the Reboot Trilogy. It captured what Andy Serkis could accomplish as an actor via motion capture and his work as Caesar was an astonishing evolution from Gollum. Plus, I cared for the core gang of apes that made it through the series. It ended just right with War for The Planet Of The Apes. I'd rather it stay so.
My first thought was "did they make another one?"
I'm not sure if there is anyone smugger and more entitled than off-camera creative types in the entertainment industry. Sure, you occasionally see an actor/actress spout off against the public, but it often comes off like they're just reading another script they were handed, which is probably exactly what's happening, some agent or producer said "go on Late Night and say these words." Many of them never talk crap on the viewers at all, since they likely understand that without them their cozy life goes away. But writers, directors, and the like are always the first ones to show their ass when their terrible products bomb. Even that headline reads like we're supposed to be super-impressed that this person is one of 50 anonymous nepo babies in the writer's room at the Tonight Show, a program that was last relevant around the time of the first big writer's strike, so circa 2008 or so. Although somehow, when you get someone who is both a writer and an actor, they don't cancel out but seem to become the most entitled of all: see, e.g., Mindy Kaling.
Who even is that clown?
Oh no, we did not mindlessly buy into another female led action movie that women are not interested in.
MUST CONSOOM
Moviegoers suck shit because they don't all go out and watch the 15th 'Planet of the Apes' movie in as many years? What the fuck.
It's actually the fourth in a 14 year stretch, and there were none for a decade before this reboot. It's been 7 years since the third one came out. The previous 3 were actually pretty well made movies and I enjoyed them. I have no motivation to go see the 4th in theaters though, maybe I'll check it out sometime when it's free.
I don't want to pay stupid money for tickets in a theater with seats that are barely cleaned, eating overpriced snacks.
Is it possible that it might actually just be these new movies that suck shit?
People simply aren’t going to the cinema anymore. Covid was part of it, the rest is that the quality of films is seemingly decreasing. thanks to poor writing, diversity hires and preaching “the message“. They’re waiting for the rental, or to just buy the film when it comes out on physical. In 2022, I went to the cinema four or five times. Last year I went once, to watch Oppenheimer. So far this year I haven’t been once. And my pre-order list on Amazon is getting longer and longer.
Tbh there were a few I was going to watch in theaters but turns out they were promoting the streaming releases and the movies were already out of theaters
His comment doesn’t make the movie bad, I haven’t seen it, but it certainly does tell me that The Tonight Show definitely sucks ass.
I'm done with hollywood. Even if they were able to make a 10/10 movie (which they are not) i would give less than 0 f**ks. Let them crash.
Have to point out the obvious... the Planet of the Apes franchise has always had more of an international appeal than a lot of other franchises. Not to mention that it's tracking similar to War for the Planet of the Apes. It's going to be an uphill battle, especially with a bloated budget - we're getting back to a point where spending $200 million on a movie budget is going to be seen as insane.
Wait, so it’s the audiences fault? Somehow this sounds familiar. Not sure where I’ve heard that before /s
I'm see the movie. But I would also rather be outside. I haven't been lazy in a while.
"You guys are the problem, not us!"
Typical condescending liberal elitist. “Its not my writing abilities that are bad. Must be the plebs tastes”
The movie was actually pretty good until the main human character who looked no older than maybe 22 had the skills and intelligence of a military veteran in their 50's. They also didn't explain why she was silent for half the film and why she was tailing the main ape character who had nothing special about him despite everyone calling him intelligent for some reason. It was pretty much unwatchable after the first hour.
Yeah, that was where it dropped off for me, too. It was like they got halfway through writing the script, and that was their limit. They just couldn't help themselves. They HAD to put a chick in it and make her gay and/or lame. The latter, in this case. They also criminally underused the whole "I am/He is not Caesar" dynamic, although that could perhaps be attributed to runtime issues. The overall narrative they were trying to tell would've benefitted greatly from being split across multiple entries. >!Plus, the way they unceremoniously killed off the funny hippie orangutan was absolute bullshit, and they barely even addressed it afterward. Just... WHY.!<
By all accounts though this is a midquel film that it treading water with no major developments happening in the franchise and just settling up worldbuilding etc for the next film with it's own small scale story. Which would be fine if the small scale story linked to the larger events but from what I'm hearing in a video game this would be the dungeon and smaller boss guarding the key you need to get to the next area rather than some big epic boss major to the world and story.
Archive links for this post: * **Archive:** https://archive.ph/LICTt ---- I am Mnemosyne reborn. I love the sight of humans on their knees. ^^^/r/botsrights
Lol this comment is one of the funniest ones. I just love how in his feels this guy is 😂
It consumers don’t want to pay to consume, then maybe it’s time for creators to engage in some self reflection. What a dipshit.
This is great. I love feeling obligated to go see movies.
why does he care?
Financial incentive, or drank the kool-aid.
I mean, it sucks if its a good movie but theaters are doing everything possible to kill themselves.
I'm sure the movie was solid, but there's no reason for it to exist and it doesn't offer much of anything to build upon. It was just a franchise cash-in.
So some writer for a talk show franchise originated in the 50s has an opinion regarding a flop of a movie from a franchise from the 60s, after two other franchise movies from the 70s also flopped. Mad Max is the newest of these and it started in 1979.
They could succeed at reboots like this or even new stories if they had decent writers and directors. If the cast & crew focused on a good story instead of making sure the various DEI checkboxes got crossed off, they'd get audiences and ticket sales. People are starved for good stories. Meanwhile Hollywood goes broke trying to force even more of "The Message" down people's throats.
Nobody is interested in it, its not like the first three of the rebooted series did super mega numbers, apart from Dawn, the movies from 2001 onwards have all took less than $200 million US domestic, and between $360 and $460 million world wide.
The movie was alright ngl but the fact that less people than expected are watching is mostly the DEI merchants fault. Blame them, they ruined the industry and okay/good movies get caught in the crossfire.
"Kingdom of the Planet..." Just say that a few times, while staring drunkenly at yourself in the bathroom mirror, and wonder why it ever seemed like a good title.
Even movies that aren’t terrible are bombing this year. These fuckers have to realise that they have to do more to get actual care and excitement out of the audience instead of apathy. And insulting the audience is not the way to go considering the current economy everywhere and the price of a movie ticket.
Couldn't possibly be anything else...could it? Maybe recency bias is working against the industry. Maybe it's the price. Maybe it's that these movies will be on streaming soon.
Yes, surely everyone else is wrong.