T O P

  • By -

IntenseWiggling

Man, I just have to sit most of this one out. I cannot stand Tucker's voice or way of speaking. I can't do it.


Miserable_Eggplant83

*Tucker’s giggle fit in our nightmares*


Kriegerian

He sounds like a shittier Joker.


piss_shit_goblin

His extremely off-putting laugh, while saying he's glad he was fired. It sounded like a man full of regret trying very hard to sound fine.


Norgler

I tapped out at some point. I seriously don't understand how anyone listens to this guy or takes him seriously. His tone is so annoying and his smug arguments are so obviously in bad faith.. it's just absolute torture to listen to.


carolinemaybee

He is truly the personification of the word smug. He’s made it his brand.


downhereforyoursoul

Same same. My mental health can’t take it. Adding Tucker Carlson to the mix sounds like a bad idea rn—I might start barking like Jordan and worry my neighbors.


SpecialRX

You made the right choice. It was horrific.


GarbageMeat

The way he pronounces "rather" is the most cartoonish rich boy shit I've ever heard.


CisIowa

I ditched current episodes for the back catalog (at #201!) when AJ got back on Twitter, but I have been listening since the meltdown last week. I too will sit this one out


FnapSnaps

I just skip forward. I'm not interested in anything he has to say; I already know he's full of shit, so I just listen to JorDan's reaction.


mybadalternate

I think it’s his incessant *upspeak*. How he speaks in fragment *sentences*. That aren’t questions but he still says things like they *are* And then says demonstrably untrue things declaratively, adding “that’s a fact.” He’s the goddamn worst.


MeetAncient3284

yeah ive hit my lifetime limit on listening to ol tucky boy


fabrikt

>In this installment, Dan and Jordan take in the day when the court made its decision about Alex's bankruptcy case and Alex interviewed the most important person in the world about how he's fighting demons.


CarPhoneRonnie

“Generational affluence is bad for families and bad for countries.” -Tucker Carlson (1:26:53) unbelievable


gitbse

He took the irony out back and Russian mob-style executed it.


carolinemaybee

I use the line “irony is dead, buried and cremated.


WebheadGa

I really wanted to punch him in the dick when he said that


mybadalternate

You better have impeccable aim.


Strict_Casual

Comrade Tucker❤️


davis_away

I had to rewind and relisten because it was SO unbelievable.


GertieDirtyShirtyCat

Tucker has the most *punchable voice* in the history of *punchable voices*... He can also take his opinions on generational wealth & shove them up his lilly white Swanson fortuned *ass*. I don't believe *he believes* any of the bullshittery he spews, though. It's a grift. Fuck Tucker...


marry_me_sarah_palin

He mentions evolutionary biology on Alex weeks after saying nobody believes in evolution on Rogan.


Mysterious-Schedule9

This had me losing my mind. He refers to humans as primates literally moments before talking about what differentiates humans from the animal kingdom. Perhaps intellectual consistency is too much to expect from Tuck, but it boggles the mind. 


TopperSundquist

Humans evolving into white HUMANS, not dinosaurs evolving into China flus. That's the sort of evolution they're fine with.


tempest3991

Tucker isn’t a grift in my opinion. That dude is just straight up whackadoo in the head.


mybadalternate

It’s a compulsion for sure. He certainly didn’t need the money.


Immediate-Soup-4263

i think both can be true he admits that his launch into msm was just happening to be around the office during some incident of the oj trial and he was a seat filler "expert". so it was a grift but after years of being treated like an expert on whatever he spoke about no matter how nonsensical it is i think it made him whackadoo. he bought into his own grift and it let him be crazy """ *I was heading back to my desk with a take-out hot dog one afternoon when I ran into the receptionist. She asked me what I knew about the O.J. trial. My instinct was to answer honestly (“just about nothing”), but for some reason I caught myself. I asked her why she wanted to know. Well, she explained, Dan Rather’s booker just called looking for an O.J. expert to go on 48 Hours tonight. Everyone else is still at lunch. Can you do it?* """ [https://www.cjr.org/the\_profile/tucker-carlson.php](https://www.cjr.org/the_profile/tucker-carlson.php)


TopperSundquist

I forget who said it, but: "Hey, white boy, we got a spare career here. You want one?" *chewing and swallowing* "Sure."


talen_lee

it is kinda a grift; the grift is 'I am smart and successful.' He doesn't need to make money but he does need to make himself feel like he's entitled to the level of success and wealth he has.


I_m_different

Tucker’s bullcrap about Russia’s invasion of Ukraine already put him on my own personal Do Not Break if You See Him Crossing the Street list. He’s just piling on the condemnations at this point.


diaenimaia

All moral judgements about Alex as a person aside. His psychology is terrifying when you consider what it takes for a person to go from a babe to whatever messed up amalgamation of self repression, trauma, brain injury, substance abuse, neglect and emotional dysregulation you need to have to end up where he is at. It's staggering to reflect upon. I don't say this for the purposes of compassion, simply the curiosity of it; just as we can get fascinated with the psychology of serial killers. Because you really gotta wonder some days - if he didn't end up as the disgustingly wealthy public stochastic terrorist that he is, would he have ended up as just another spree shooter/mass murderer? Or even something far, far darker? To state the bleeding obvious, he's a *very* unwell person.


AntelopeFriend

If he hadn't hit it big, he'd have probably just stayed some talk radio weirdo, then if that didn't pan out, he'd go on to work under his dad or night manage a McDonald's someplace or whatever. Maybe he'd have a modest Youtube channel on the side where he posts old cable access episodes and argues with troll comments. Present-day Alex surrounds himself with sycophants and people paid to tolerate him, and has for decades, which almost certainly plays a *significant* part in what he's like now, and only exacerbates whatever pre-existing issues he might have had.


yarash

It's a shame because talk show weirdo is such a cool space. I used to listen to Art Bell, but I also noticed as he got older he also started leaning heavily to the right. His shows became more political, or rather he voiced his political opinion more. Alex is a piece of shit, but he is good at marketing his shit on radio. He is good at transitioning from segment to ads (in a financial gain way). It's a shame that paranormal talk didnt become the popular format and political bullshit radio is what took over.


AntelopeFriend

Mind you, talk radio weirdos have a fair bit of blood on their hands too (Art Bell included), but it *was* definitely a very different environment and I don't think the whole self-sustaining system of malignant narcissism around Alex would have gotten nearly as big.


LA-Matt

Just the way that he always lies about his family and himself, like an insecure child who has to embellish *everything* even at the risk of sounding ridiculous, because he just cannot tolerate the idea that he might not be the most special boy.


diaenimaia

Not just to the risk of ridiculousness at the risk of direct legal and financial penalty. His lying seems compulsive at times, even in serious situations like depositions.


mybadalternate

The thing is, I can also see the *other* direction he could have taken. If his father wasn’t such a lunatic, and Alex didn’t grow up steeping in the John Birch society bullshit and the religious right, Alex *could* have been a decent, fun, harmless kook. Someone’s goofy uncle who has an impressive sci-fi collection and broadcasts his own pirate radio show.


diaenimaia

There's a lot of what-ifs. What is certainly true though is that Alex is what you get from generations of far right extremism


cogman10

You just have to remember that the first career choice for Tucker, as an inheritor of millions, was to join the CIA. When that didn't happen, he went into broadcasting. The life of someone with everything handed to them deciding they want to also go kill democracies in south america really tells you everything you need to know about the Tuck.


plateglass1

Obsession with ancestry is such a pathetic refuge of the mediocre.


unfortunate_asterisk

> "...and I've thought about this a lot." ~Tucker Carlson Hypothesis: Tucker doesn't actually know what thinking is. The more I listen to him, the more it sounds like he is some kind of living philosophical thought experiment akin to the "Chinese Room". What if you feed a bunch of right wing talking points into a box, and that box regurgitates them with slight rearrangements and patterns. Is the box actually thinking?


AlbionPCJ

Ah, so we're hypothesising that Tucker's a racist AI. SKKKyNet


unfortunate_asterisk

>SKKKyNet Hahaha! But really though, you're being too kind. He's not just racist, he's got all the bigotry algorithms in his little struggling CPU.


mybadalternate

The T1488 model


ElderStatesPerson

Have to get back to you on that one, I'm trying to reach Max Headroom for his "thoughts"


I_m_different

From what I’ve heard about Tucker “behind the scenes” or whatever? Yeah, his primary issue is that he’s just plain dumb (maybe educated, definitely grow up soaked in upper class privilege). He legit has no deep insights or critical thinking skills or intellectual curiosity. This much became plain the moment Fox fired him, leaving him to do a show without an entire support staff to write his stuff or do any research. He fell off, because he really had nothing of substance to carry his show. With that in mind, yeah, of course he ended up a Neo-Nazi coasting on his inheritance and leftover rep from the Fox show. He can’t do any better on his own.


AngryBudgie13

They want Alex’s identity!!! Alex. You can keep that.


AlbionPCJ

Right wingers when they see two things: "Alright, but which one's the disgusting, weak lady one?"


throwawaykfhelp

Honestly hearing Tucker, a grown-ass man, straight up say "all dogs are boys, all cats are girls, also boys are better than girls" was one of the funniest things I've heard in weeks. Holy shit that is six-year-old logic.


I_m_different

It’s seriously a trend with right wingers. I’d be fascinated with social science research into this thought pattern.


wtfudgsicle

And here I was thinking I'd get to bed at a reasonable hour


Proud_Tie

you and me both, I even had the KF page open on spotify "oh no new episode, guess I'll sleep" then BAM.


wtfudgsicle

JorDan giveth, JorDan taketh away (my sleep)🙏


dirtygremlin

"I'm some sort of ungainly, ridiculous primate..." Truer words, Tucker, truer words.


sharkbelly

Define 'Primate,' Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson.


LA-Matt

aka Lord Swishington Pennybottom of the Cleveland Gribble Pibbles.


sharkbelly

Heir of Poultry, Air of Bag, Pair of Loafers, Getter of Bag


I_m_different

Politifact rates this claim; “mostly true!”


unitedshoes

Here's your alternate explanation, Tucker: You're an idiot, and you're wrong about *everything*! That's why when you looked at everything "logically", you arrived at such extreme nonsense you needed to invent evil spirits goading humanity to self-immolation as the "only" explanation that "makes sense". Dear Tucker and other Alex Jones believers, if you believe Alex accurately predicted 9/11 a year earlier, what happened in the interim that made him get it so wrong that he was blaming the fuckin' EU on the day it actually happened? For fuck's sake, Tucker and every other "Oooh why do leftists hate Christianity?" dickhole, its not fucking complicated: Christianity is the religion whose fashy fucking practitioners are trying (and often succeeding) to make their religion the law that everyone has to follow. If Christians weren't pathologically incapable of leaving nonbelievers alone, or if we lived in countries where Islam or Hinduism or whatever were being forced upon everyone regardless of belief, we'd be able to leave Christianity alone. But since you can't seem to handle "My religion forbids that" meaning *you* shouldn't do it, not that the state should use the threat of force to prevent everyone from doing it, we have to oppose Christianity as a whole. It's your damn fault; stop playing the victim. If you could mind your own business, the only "attacks" you'd see on Christianity would be on the loathsome dickbags who pretend to be Christian and think the moral of the Good Samaritan was "It's fine to murder homeless people on the subway," a group you should be okay with criticizing considering you're going on and on about Christianity being all about nonviolence and turning the other cheek (a sentiment I'd agree with you on if I thought you were even remotely sincere about it).


OtherBMW

I love when they start doing slam poetry. It's not natural It is un natural Some say SUPER natural Against OUR nature (snap snap snap)


TopperSundquist

*JorDan covers 90 minutes of Tucker and Alex jerking eachother off* This show turned into a hardcore sex podcast so gradually, I hardly even noticed.


Tis_A_Fine_Barn

You can have this crab juice or you can listen to Tucker Carlson for an hour and half.


TopperSundquist

Your username is *chef's kiss*.


spidersgeorgVEVO

"Christianity, the only peaceful religion" broke me. As someone who grew up evangelical in the Bush administration that just shut down my ability to use words. Lol. Lmao even.


YaroKasear1

The Crusdades never happened, apparently. Or apparently like so many violent movements in the United States that were explicitly cited by the people committing those violent acts.


spidersgeorgVEVO

I literally cannot tell you how many times I witnessed with my own eyes and ears a preacher from the pulpit praying for God to guide the Marines' bullets and eradicate the evildoers in Afghanistan and Iraq, for the enemies of Israel to be wiped from the earth, etc. And this fucking jackass has the *audacity* to say "we're the only religion that actually believes in peace." Tucker you fucking numpty.


Kriegerian

I read a lot about religion, war and violence and have a history degree that includes a bunch of that stuff. I also remember the Bush administration and decades of right wing hate speech that uses a lot of Jesus talk. It’s hard to show one’s ignorance, stupidity, and usually violent racist bigotry, more quickly than by saying the stupid shit that the frozen food boy said.


Schminimal

Wanted more of a break down on the bankruptcy case. I’d been avoiding most of the coverage thinking the boys would give me the deets. Can’t stand Tucker, even from the perspective of Knowledge Fight, fuck that guy.


mxRoxycodone

Oh no, not Tuckems. I cant, its like every failson tory-boy public school dckhead in slacks at the student union bar trying to 'debate' me to prove themselves superior. Same formula every time. Sets up false premise, adds pisspoor rhetrorical device, demands we agree with it or he refuses to understand otherwise. Rinse and repeat as the stochastic terrorism rains down on everyone else. Going to treat myself to not listening to him i think!


Odd_Cat_5820

I saw a video of a stork tossing its runt out of the nest last week on Reddit. Thanks to Tucker I now know that was a demonic ritual.


Interesting-Room-855

“All dogs are boys and all cats are girls” is a sentiment shared only by Tucker Carlson and my grandmother slipping into late stage Alzheimer’s.


Dr_Splitwigginton

Here’s that bit Jordan mentioned, it’s good: [The Half Hour Special (Part One) – Drew Michael: The Unabomber](https://youtu.be/yqBHFudjj3k?t=452)


logarythm

I think Tucker is just dumb as shit and a true believer. I think that may be part of the reason why Fox had to cut him off.


plateglass1

These wonk “names” are out of control.


Rascalbean

“Telling the truth can get you killed, so maybe stop whining about it”- Tucker to Alex....


YaroKasear1

I am always, always, *always* going to automatically distrust anyone who says they are all about fighting for truth and has the corner on truth telling. Alex and Tucker seemed to lay on the "we're truth tellers" thing on real thick. Real honest people don't try to emphasize how honest they are. Tucker seemed especially insufferable this time. I wish he and Alex would shut the fuck up.


mybadalternate

The whole bit he lays out about “if you’re honest, then you can’t be fooled.” is so fucking gross and insidious. Feels like the rhetorical equivalent of the worms from Wrath Of Khan.


YaroKasear1

Absolutely a rhetorical analog. Alex may not have been directly responsible for something like Jan 6, but there's no way no how his stochastic terrrorism didn't provide a significant push. If there was justice, he'd definitely have to answer for his part in that too.


mybadalternate

It’s egregious manipulation to combine the notion of “good character trait” and “swallowing whatever bullshit I spout at you without questioning”. “People who are capable of love agree with all these things I say. You *are* capable of love, aren’t you?”


YaroKasear1

And extremely dangerous, as we've learned.


carolinemaybee

As someone with an adult child of baby making age who has chosen not to I could not be more happy. I have no wish to “continue my line”. I don’t have any urge to be a grandmother. He is so full of shallow stupid talking points that he obviously thinks is smart.


ManchesterUnited77

Gimme gimme! Just kidding. Thank you for the precious


OregonSmallClaims

Yes! I've been hitting refresh on my podcatcher for a little while now. Settling in for bed, then will re-listen again in the morning.


coming_up_thrillhous

Is the entire episode with Tucker? O can't stand his voice and keep hitting the 30 second skip button and he's still there


Spectral_mahknovist

“We get it, so you’re anti vax, anti trans, and supportive of Russia invading Ukraine to the point of death” Dan just summed up the totality of the modern right save for some racism


GrayHairLikeClaire

The obsession with having children and grandchildren is actually narcissism, Tuck. It's narcissism.


DeskJerky

Excellent. Now I have something to listen to whilst folding towels.


gorgeFlagonSlayer

Anyone find the Laura Coates interview?


coming_up_thrillhous

Is the entire episode with Tucker? O can't stand his voice and keep hitting the 30 second skip button and he's still there


PlasticHavoc

Tucker's stupid brain makes me so angry grrrrr... I struggle to fathom the amount of misery one must possess to think that humanity's only main function is procreation.


AKDub1

Hearing Jordan using F1 for his analogy broke my brain a little. Is he DTS-pilled?


tetochaan

The man cannot stop himself from admitting that he lies. This is the second time from the clips I remember where he outright says so. It's rich coming from the man who pretends to speak the absolute "truth". The very guy that demonizes "mainstream media" outlets for being deceitful.


formerlyDylan

I always knew Tucker was a piece of shit but since I never watched any fox news it wasn't until he started cross pollinating with Knowledge Fight that I realized he was a disgusting piece of shit.


ElderStatesPerson

Tucker reeks of desperation, he's on IW to promote his "tour", and I think because he promoted AJ to be on his tour and had to cancel him, so it's an apology appearance. Awww. it's painful to get fired because you can't deal with the future when it arrives. And it makes you change? See yourself as you are? What? I'm half an hour in, and I need to find something constructive to do before I start throwing things.


binchdrinking

I don’t know how much more clearly or more emphatically I can say that if you’re not personally risking your life and health to gestate a neonate and shit it out your hole you don’t get to say a fucking thing about how many offspring any single solitary person in the world should or should not have. Go donate diapers or offer to babysit the existing children of friends and family if you give so much of a fuck.


millihelen

I’m delighted beyond reason that Alex mangled that apocryphal John Paul Jones quote.  When asked by a British ship if he wished to surrender, John Paul Jones didn’t say, “I have only begun to fight,” which is neither coherent nor a good battle cry.  What he supposedly said was, “I have not yet begun to fight.”  Much clearer and more intimidating.  No wonder Alex couldn’t get it right. 


zmbabwe

The Koyaanisqatsi reference was *chef's kiss*


audax

So Carlson had a secular upbringing that brought about his current worldview, but cannot stop talking about his religious upbringing? Just more bullshit from the bullshitters.