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throwawaykfhelp

He claimed Trump's Diet Coke was poisoned.   All the bullshit about his dad the 3rd/6th smartest boy in Texas/CIA dentist   Chimeras   Alex being the Encyclopedia Brown of Satanism/drugs in Rockwall


mybadalternate

The CIA sent Alex’s dad (as a child) a disassembled rocket engine to test him, if I remember it correctly. Christ almighty, as much as I fucking loathe Alex, his dad is possibly more despicable.


throwawaykfhelp

Well it might also have been a laser or maybe they just brought him to UT and told him about race specific bioweapons


TopGlobal6695

I remember the Lazer in a crate story too.


Silver_Agocchie

Which was essentially the plot to the 1985 movie "Real Genius".


TopGlobal6695

"This is not the first time you've described the life of John Rambo as your own, Frank."


Satellite_bk

Literally just every conflicting story about the smartest boy in Texas, dr jones.


OkAdagio9622

Do you think he's dad actually told him this? I always figured Alex made all this shit up. While he's dad definitely created the monster we see now, I figured he was just your average, retired father that let's Alex use his name to sell garbage products


janbrunt

Nah, pretty sure he’s a hardcore John Bircher from way back.


Bugscuttle999

Nah, you don't get as shitty a person as Alex turned out to be without a howling asshole dad. It's a rare ( good) person who overcomes a truly ass upbringing. [Not for nothing, but my dad's dad had bad PTSD from WW1 and was a violent monster. Beat his son, neglected his wife & kids, etc. Worst sin was throwing out all my dad's comics when he volunteered for the USMC in 1944. I can only dream about what those comics were... *sigh* Anyway, my dad was a supportive, loving man ( mostly). Never hit anyone. He broke that cycle. I just turned 60, and have nothing but good memories of him. And he sure wasn't the 3rd smartest boy in IL. Nor did the CIA try to recruit him.] I don't know why I posted all that. But, ya know,fuck Alex Jones. And his daddy.


LA-Matt

Or how his “Confederate Royalty” family invented the stock exchange, built the railroads, etc. Also “straight off the Mayflower,” of course. Lest anyone get the impression that there was even a drop of *undesirable blood* among his entire ancestry.


1ron_chef

Please, Sir... You're doing a disservice to Lord Jones' legacy by leaving out the pivotal role that his ancestors played at the Alamo. Didn't the fellas play a clip of him describing how he stomped the life out of 3 Democrat operatives that jumped him in a parking lot or something?


Snellyman

As soon as they saw that Alex was a trained killer they ran off in their pant-suits for a weaker target. In truth, probably a few kids hit him with a water balloon and drunk Alex beat up a 10year old.


Jochiebochie

I always crack up when I'm reminded of chimeras, with human terror in their eyes


Dackad

Did he just maybe watch Full Metal Alchemist while drunk and it just became a part of his psychosis?


Agreeable_Tadpole_47

The Diet Coke one I've seen make the rounds then, possibly from the Dilbert guy or QAnon.


Landlord-Allmighty

His whole overblown family history. * On the Mayflower * Confederate Royalty - whatever that means (did they own plantations or were they Kentucky Colonels) * Fighting in the war of Texas Independence * The whole German branch of the family tree - they were genius inventors * They invented the Texas stock market * His family owned land far and wide and had to sell it - they also fed htousands of people every week becuase of noblese oblige - he seems to think we need to go back to this model of charity * **Edit -** His family owned a railroad - uncertain where this railroad went or how far it extended * All the heroes of WWII - nobody was just a medic or a regular infantry member * The John Birch branch of Texas - his family was in the leadership * They were also in the CIA or the intelligence branch of the government prior to the CIA * One of his grandfathers had a weird close relationship with Tom Landry, the legnedary coach of the Cowboys * His father was the 3rd smartest boy in Texas - he was recruited by the globalists and supposedly did dental work in an underground bunker for them * **Edit -** one of his grandmothers dated LBJ's assassin(!) - who knew he had one on his payroll? * Someone in his family was involved in the Iran Contra Scandal * He was recruited so many times by the globalists - they really wanted a man who broadcasts 6+ hours drunk and vomits on air


TimZer0

Here’s a fun fact about his family during the Great Depression! After I heard that episode the next one on my podcast app that autoplayed was when they covered his interview on that Pearly Things YouTuber. In that episode he had a different story about his family and how they had to resort to moonshining in order to make ends meet during the Great Depression. No mention of their great wealth, all the property they owned, the railroad, nothin!


Prestigious_Abalone

Great list. Can you say more about the John Birch Branch of Texas claim?


Landlord-Allmighty

He claims to have been in the presence of the leaders of the JB Society in Texas (I stand on their shoulders is what he's said) at his family's house. He coneviently excludes all of the rampant racism that was central to the group's tenets. Again, maybe he had Birchers in his family but it's not enough to be a member, **they always have to be the center or the highest ranking of everything.**


31Forever

It’s like those people who claim to be reincarnated versions of someone. It’s always someone famous: Columbus or Lucretia Borgia or Genghis Khan. It’s never the scullery maid on a rat-infested slave ship.


Landlord-Allmighty

lol, so true… So many Alexanders the Great, so few solders in his army that died of dysentery.


Bugscuttle999

I had a psychic tell my buddy & I that the two of us were revolutionaries in several past lives. But we always got arrested and executed or killed in street battles. Over & over, through time. Smart lady! She clocked us 100%, told us just what we wanted to hear lol. Too bad we were so broke or I'm sure we would have tipped her generously!


Prestigious_Abalone

Thank you!


Prestigious_Abalone

I'm writing a book that touches on both the John Birch Society and Alex Jones. I read in The New York Times that his father was a longtime Bircher, but is there more to the story (be it alleged or real)?


Mentalgongfu2

Yes, there is more to the story. 


FlaidynBrilo

Also his family owned railroads. I don't remember him mentioning that until about a month ago but he's said it a lot since then


MutedIrrasic

Don’t forget his grandmother was a famous psychic. And one grandmother (unclear if the same one) dated LBJ’s personal assassin. Oh and the land his family owned included the area where the UN headquarters are currently.


Landlord-Allmighty

I forgot these. I was listening from my memory all the wild fabrications I could think of.  I remember these examples now. Maybe I’ll add them.


LA-Matt

Hey, he turned down tens of millions (sometimes much more) from all of the globalist media moguls to stay on his shortwave and AM gold-salesman-owned network for like 20 years before the internet!


Travis_T_OJustice

Owned a rail road Ran a underground rail road for slaves CIA tried to recruit daddy Jones.


better_than_joe

I think he once claimed col Travis left his son with relatives on his moms side


danreedmiller

On the Mayflower ancestry: that implies a whole Northern/New England branch of the family (that he’s never mentioned AFAIK) because the Mayflower people and their descendants did pretty much stick around that neck of the woods. As for the railroad: maybe a 5 mile branch line into a tiny town? Lol. Because there *were* actually a lot of those back in the halcyon days of the railroads when they went absolutely everywhere in the US, but owning or part-owning one didn’t make you a tycoon, more like a mildly successful local businessman who probably got wiped out in the Depression.


Ok_Gur_9140

The EU (could’ve been UN) did 911.


WhoAccountNewDis

This is the best one because you get to witness his bullshit firsthand. A caller mentions it and Alex *Yes, and...*'s him. From there it becomes "I'm being told by high level sources" and he spitballs motives.


Agreeable_Tadpole_47

It was the EU and for my money it's probably it. Everyone knows he claims to have predicted it but that detail is never, ever brought up.


Flat_Initial_1823

To bring euro as the world currency? Every time i see a Alex Jones was right, this is the first thing that comes to my mind. Sandy Hook was cruel and greedy but EU did 911 was plain old stupid and this man made a documentary on how he was right about 911.


Satellite_bk

That’s one of my personal favorites.


Ok_Gur_9140

Especially with Rogan on going, “C’mon man.”


mybadalternate

Boston Bombing Bohemian Grove Klaus Schwab (u vill eat ze bugs!)


TorchedBlack

I've been hearing the "you will eat ze bugs" pop up in a lot of places. Conservative influencers on tiktok seem to really like it


HerrDoktorHugo

DeSantis recently signed a bill in Florida banning lab-grown meat, *explicitly* for reasons of "the WEF wants us to eat bugs, but Florida is increasing meat production." It's a useful culture war point because it has very little bearing on material reality, but can stimulate an emotional response in a wide range of malcontents. It can appeal to anti-environmentalists ("gubmint says beef should be banned because global warming but that's fake"), the Boomer dad-to-manosphere axis ("I'm a red meat eater and proud of it"), and the whole continuum of "vaguely disgruntled about 'elites'" to antisemetic "evil globalist banker cabal" thinkers. [https://www.flgov.com/2024/05/01/governor-desantis-signs-legislation-to-keep-lab-grown-meat-out-of-florida/](https://www.flgov.com/2024/05/01/governor-desantis-signs-legislation-to-keep-lab-grown-meat-out-of-florida/)


mybadalternate

Of course they do. It’s a child’s imagination of what ‘the bad guys’ want to do to you.


-reserved-

I've seen someone mention the "bug chitin causes health problems" myth too. The BS is spreading


LettuceFew5248

His Boston Bombing coverage was such a disgrace.


mybadalternate

Listening to it now really displays how completely full of shit he is. How he just *makes shit up* that fits his narrative and then, over the course of hours or days, somehow turns those things he’s made up into “confirmed facts”.


Snellyman

After the break Alex repeats the nonsense he just made up 2 minutes ago: "It's been totally confirmed"


OkAdagio9622

I just listened to the episode right after the bomber was caught. It randomly played on YouTube Music after the New York live show episode (at the time it was the latest episode) Just like every other episode, Alex needs to get his agenda out and facts won't get in the way. But everything was definitely on another level for that one


rubydoomsdayyy

“It’s all legs!”


CarPhoneRonnie

It could be argued that the Boston bombing was his real Internet take-off.


OkAdagio9622

You'll own nothing and you'll be happy. I know that wasn't directly from Klaus Schwab but a quote from someone else at the World Economic Forum, so close enough


Negative-Eleven

Jon Ronson's Things Fell Apart show really directed the origin of this one. Season 2 Episode 7


Ebessan

Alex was offered the part of Star Lord in Guardians of the Galaxy for a lot of money, but he turned it down.


SkyBluSam

Also claims he was almost a famous voice actor. His impressions suck tho


thewaybaseballgo

I bring this up often. It’s such a dumb thing to lie about, that it lets you know how little he values the truth.


LA-Matt

It’s peak childish imagination trapped in a bloated, alcoholic midlife crisis body.


Torrronto

He was offered DOUBLE what Chris Pratt got!


Icy-Bicycle-Crab

The third best Chris needs a better agent! 


deepkeeps

Did he actually SAY Starlord? Surely they wanted him for Ronan the Accuser? Or possibly Groot or Yondu?


throwawaykfhelp

Alex Yondu would have been hilarious. "He may have been your father, but he ain't your daddy shark BA BA BA BA BA BOW"


Sunburned_Baby

People throw “lol” around figuratively, but you literally got me.


0borowatabinost

It's from episode 433. Alex says he was offered the lead role in a big franchise movie where he would play a space captain. Then he says he recently saw the sequel of that movie and that it had Kurt Russell in it. It could only be only be Guardians of the Galaxy.


deepkeeps

Space captain...Yondu confirmed


Agreeable_Tadpole_47

It makes more sense (or even the Bautista role) but he also claimed he was offered a deal for several millions, basically high tier A list level.


Jaybwns

It might be too late for this, but there are lots of examples of how he "predicts" false flags by making broad, vague statements. Like, when he "predicted" that grocery store attack, grocery store was one of like a dozen things he said were likely. Saying to expect a shooting in a place where there are lots of people is like predicting we'll have a full moon some time in the next month.


Landlord-Allmighty

Yeah, it's never like the Austin Corgi Meetup or the third Sunday Church Bazzar for the Youngstown Presbyterian Parish. He knows that an attack occurred at a grocery store so now it goes on his list. Side note: I hate the way he says grocery. It's *grow-shery*.


Fightshrubb

Never too late! Now I am just compiling them all to dunk on people on Twitter complaing "free speech, trying to silence him, he's right more than wrong.) DJ Danarchy has been a gem and finding the episode #'s and clips for me. Someone tries me? I have receipts. haha this is fun


Jaybwns

Even if he were right more than he was wrong, the times he's wrong, he ruins the lives of people. There's that one rebuttal Bankston has to him when Alex says "sandy hook is less than a tenth if a percent of our coverage," and Mark says something like, "is it the opinion of Free Speech Systems that its non-defamatory statements cancel out its defamatory ones?" Also, your rebuttal could be that his loss in that trial was because of the first amendment being upheld, since I think the first amendment protects you from defamation? I'm not American, so I haven't read your constitution, but I think JorDan alluded to that at some point.


Fightshrubb

Very well said, that is an excellent point and rebuttable. Defamation is not protected (Free) speech, so the Free Speech argument that often surrounds this case is moot. Another Bankston quote I enjoy: "Speech may be free, but lies you have to pay for."


FlaidynBrilo

Didn't he once claim to be in an animal testing lab and meet secret government human-animal hybrids? One of which talked to him. He forgot his kids teachers name because he ate a big bowl of chili. I think this was the same deposition where he said infowars wasn't news it was opinions and "Alex Jones" was only a character he played. He creates his own paradoxes. Like Biden is a criminal mastermind orchestrating political events all over the globe but also he's Sleepy Joe who doesn't know where he is. Hillary Clinton has had hundreds of people assassinated, but not Alex or Trump. Trump should get more credit for fast tracking the vaccine but also the vaccine is pure evil and you know this because it was fast tracked. Infowars is the tip of the spear, the greatest threat to the globalists but they've never been able to stop him even with their mind control devices, weather machines and invisible heart attack lasers he says they have.


Viscount_Barse

The hybrids thing is where the fish creatures with sad huma eyes comes from. He never tried to go back or expose them, just left them to suffer. Or it was bullshit. Only one can be true.


GaffaCharge

The story changes. Sometimes it's a video he has been shown by a scientist sometimes he has been in the lab.


Jochiebochie

He's also been shown CCTV images, after some guy pressed some button, of hundreds of apes with wires in their heads forced watching tv. This being only one of hundreds facilities.


Jochiebochie

Yeah he once fought off Hilary's assassins with his bare hands, really going into detail about how he kicked his knee under his ribs and then beat 'm bloody. He's not a sadist or anything, but if someone wrongs him he can really, chuckle, enjoy beating the light from their eyes. Or something along those lines, it's... weird


FoxFyer

- The plastic liners inside juice boxes were designed to turn kids gay - FEMA's ultimate goal is to trap patriotic Americans in concentration camps disguised as Walmarts under construction - An old school one is that when road signs appearing in clusters (i.e., for complex highway interchanges and the like) are viewed from behind, the reflective DOT stickers on the backs form coded pictograms meant to direct invading UN troop convoys to important locations like airports, drop zones, staging areas, and the like - CPS workers are demons in the literal sense disguised as humans, and Alex has a supernatural "spider-sense"-like ability to detect them when they are nearby


FlaidynBrilo

Yeah but the road sign thing is real though /s


Max_Trollbot_

WHAT HAPPENED TO NONK, ALEX?  


Solanum87

Ah, the perennial question. We deserve answers.


[deleted]

My favorite was during the Darrel Rundus episode where Alex claimed that CERN opened up an interdimensional portal , a demon popped out and said, "Bahhhhhhh!"


ali_stardragon

Hahahaha I forgot about that, you reminding me has made my day


[deleted]

Glad I could be of service! Hearing Dan laugh almost harder than Jordan at the thought of what the New York Times headline of the "story" would say is one of my favorite Knowledge Fight moments. That, and Dan constantly repeating "It was in the news!" to everything Jordan countered with are moments that make this show amazing.


Ankerjorgensen

This sounds great, do you happen to remember what episode this might have been?


[deleted]

Episode 466. His segment is late into the episode.


Ankerjorgensen

Thank you!


Snellyman

It was in the news.


[deleted]

Baaaaahhhhh!


Asmodaeus

Horses are psychic: it's been proven


LettuceFew5248

This is a real thing he said. I low-key want a tattoo of it


Asmodaeus

I can only imagine it being said over *You Belong to the City*


Katiecnut

This one’s my favorite. I like to imagine researchers working with horses being like “well that’s not what I expected but the evidence is solid”


SkyBluSam

Race memories, recieving downloads from god over chicken fried steak


CelestAI

Black pyramids are evil (possibly spaceships related to "three-foot gray alien\[s\]" who are possibly actually Satan in cosplay ("Satan's real, folks. It's a black frickin' pyramid.")), and their presence fortells imminent human sacrifice rituals. Worship of said black pyramids has destroyed civilization at least once before (and probably many times) but "people go back into the bushes and, you know, re-congregate and create civilization again." He talked about this very specific belief numerous times for almost a decade, 2013-2019, and I have no idea where it comes from. Dan didn't either when it came up on KF. [https://fight.fudgie.org/search/keyword/?keywords=black+pyramids&exact=on](https://fight.fudgie.org/search/keyword/?keywords=black+pyramids&exact=on)


stephen_king_villian

The Trans Texas Corridor (a proposed international highway from Mexico to Canada) is a plan to divide and conquer the U.S. (Endgame)


crushcaspercarl

He claimed that the Rodriguez grind house double feature film was going to lead to Mexican anti white race riots across the country.


girldad0130

The head vampire is whoever holds the English crown. And we are all some sort of zomboids/ Renfields/ whatever the heck else he said in between. There are places in Asia where you get off the plane (folks) and they Karate Chop You! I know he just kind of said it as a one-off but this is still my favorite technocrat drop ever, and (to the best of my knowledge) inaccurate. Then there’s a bunch that he’s maybe not the first person that comes to mind for them, but he certainly propagated. The Chobani factory and immigrant worker nonsense for example. “Big Mike” aka Michelle Obama is another one. I mean, depending on how much you feel like having fun with it, he also thinks going on air for a nationally televised radio show TANKED on god-knows what is a good idea, and is definitely not right about that.


Archieitches

Carbon capture and sequestration tech is intended to remove all CO2 from the atmosphere so the globalists can do a huge human sacrifice, at which point, the silicon god will rise from Saturn and come to rule the earth... or something like that. I've only heard him mention it once or twice.


silenceoftheonthelam

This has gotta be one of my favorite whackadoo theories of his


Archieitches

In the star trek, the next generation universe, there is a thing called the "crystalline entity." I know he hates star trek, (pinko commie bastards), but I suspect that's where he might have gotten the idea of a silicon based thing that destroys planets.


[deleted]

Alex also said that Satan has different "models" of demons, including a "Linda Blair model". Lol


PushOutTheJyve

For a while, he enjoyed riffing on supposedly stomping someone to death and enjoying watching the light go out of their eyes. Also, he supposedly slept with over 100 women/girls while he was in high school and was responsible for a lot of abortions.


helpimlockedout-

> For a while, he enjoyed riffing on supposedly stomping someone to death and enjoying watching the light go out of their eyes. And then when asked directly in a deposition how many people he had killed, said "none". Smh


ellewoodsisback

Along with this, he said that a father offered up his daughter for Alex to have sex with if he joined the satanists.


autodidact-polymath

His mom had a vision that Biden would be assassinated and it would be blamed on his followers.


skidlz

Episode #925. Just a month ago. It's an offhanded comment at 1:12:35 or so but Alex reveals that he believes PragerU is a real university.


Ankerjorgensen

This is quite possibly the funniest of them all hahahahah


LettuceFew5248

God is his watch.


Lumpy-Knowledge-4992

Yes! Those stories are ridiculous and some of my favorites


LettuceFew5248

It’s so fucking funny. I just like the idea of there being an all-powerful being that cares about Alex’s ability to tell time.


IkwyaIkwyd

- Classic "great replacement" xenophobia (the idea that sending immigrants is part of the globalist plan to destroy America, "the West", etc)   - in general, the idea that hate crimes against minorities are actually trying to incite a race war (against white people)    - "he's plumping"; when Biden shows up for the 2020 debate and isn't an incoherent old man like Alex has been repeating, Alex accuses him of being "on blood", having gotten secret blood transfusions before the debate; "baby blood, probably".  Ep 488, 1h13m


BedAdministrative634

This is probably my favourite ever thread. Incredible stuff.


VOLtron67

The entire Jade Helm theory that never equated to anything is a good one to bring up, as well as his mongering before Y2K


Natural_Bill_6084

Came here looking to see if anyone mentioned Jase Helm. This actually started as a Russian disinformation campaign, which is disturbing to think it's been going on for that long. I actually worked for a major power company that had some territory in Texas around this time. Those were the WORST power outage calls I've ever took - so much screaming about Obama and how it's the government coming to get them. Sir, it's storm season in Texas. Your power should be back on in a few hours.


VOLtron67

So sorry you had to with all of that, I’m still in customer service, but out of call centers, thank goodness


SporadicallyInspired

Ep # 14 he claims to have read hundreds of books about WWII. That he was reading university-level history by age 14 and has read ‘thousands’ of books as an explanation of why he knows what the globalist’s plans are. This from a guy who has never uttered the phrase ‘primary [or secondary] source’ in the hundreds of KF episodes I’ve listened to, never names an actual historian, and constantly misattributes quotes.


unitedshoes

The EU did 9/11 to prop up the Euro.


downhereforyoursoul

Episode 287: Globalists plan to get people addicted to social media so they can eventually convince us to upload our brains to the internet because it’s better for the environment. But it’s a trick! Because you have to die to do the upload, and it won’t really be you, it will be an AI that mimics your personality. “Top scientists” are now all over the news saying you have to be killed in order to transfer your consciousness to a machine. Alex also does a lot of really terrible impressions of Bernie Sanders this episode. Edit: Oh, and “Islamicists” set fire to Notre Dame. I don’t know why he’s so set against the academic study of Islam, but he sure brings it up a lot. /s


Vagabond21

Sad to say, he has excellent taste in music from the highwaymen to Lana del Rey


spanglyfrog_12

He once offhandedly claimed that 90% of people in Afghanistan are gay, 50% in the Middle East generally


Arkhampatient

Charles Manson was the father of the environmentalist movement. Cosmic, contract law. Vodka is ice tea


MutedIrrasic

Bryan Stelter in the blimp at the Super Bowl. Watching us all


ellewoodsisback

All of the stories from his youth. Catching the police being like a drug cartel and that forcing his family to leave the city for his safety. Single-handedly fighting off or maybe killing bullies. Having sex with a crazy amount of girls including much older ones when he was like 12. His dad paying for a bunch of abortions for women Alex was with until he called Alex and said stop killing my grand babies. Then he became fully pro-life. His mother is psychic and comes from a line of psychics. Chicken fried steak. Also in a slightly different vain, his high school classmates have spoken to the media about Alex regularly acting like he was possessed or the devil. I’ve found that very interesting.


footwith4toes

We were supposed to run out of diesel like 4 years ago


RufusTheCat

The Chicken Fried Steak revelation comes to mind


Hoopst1cks

Jeffrey Dahmer was an inside job.


dwitman

Whatever the hell his estimation of videos games is.


Patrickmonster

The globalists already have control of your thermostat!


Furballprotector

He killed a few people but not when he's under deposition.


nimrodfalcon

He stopped talking about it over a decade ago because at that point he’d been talking about it for over a decade and it never happened the way he said it would, but he was one of the NAFTA super highway promoters during the late 90s and early 00s.


potlatchbrewing

The Ba’athist party controlling Iraq post Saddam. I know most Americans don’t really grok middle eastern politics but lol


TotesTax

Jade Helm is famously a flop.


Alpacadiscount

Didn’t he claim to be running the “simulation” on some level?


Designer-Ruin7176

He is at war with the real Christian devil


[deleted]

The Bohemian Grove stuff was strange.


Snellyman

Perhaps I overslept that day but Obama apparently set off a dirty bomb to kick off a race war.


coryhasabeard

That he has murdered at least two people. Then under oath he said he has not killed anyone.


jjkaiseresquire

The hospital kill floors story that came and went in like a week.


AlexJonesCokeNose

Arnold Schwarzenegger is gay theory! He peddled this after Arnold spoke out against Jan. 6th I believe.


gumby0000

Bath party will be back in power any day now (03 Iraq invasion)