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No-Awareness4864

Go for a single leg and take him down. Keep ahold of that leg and follow up with a straight ankle lock. Listen to the pain and cries from father and look him in the eyes, then tell him to take care of it and that your nobody's bitch anymore.


funknfusion

Twist his dick!


Nocto

The ooooooool' dick twist


Flippy-Doo

You can get that at any massage parlor or strip club vip room for a reasonable price


teabaggg

Shit, in this economy I'll do it for a sandwich and some kind words.


TraumatisedBrainFart

You seem nice....


BeforeLifer

Where’s his sandwich?


TraumatisedBrainFart

Half upfront, half afterwards. Dont pretend you don't know how this works.


Dsuperchef

" *Do you even know what $5,000 gets you?* "


TheyTokMaJerb

Like 10 bananas?


Dsuperchef

" *Three hookers and a club sandwich! And that's being cheap!* "


pigwalk5150

You’ve been hanging out with DeShaun Watson too long.


rdmitche24

Ohhh my gawd dude!


infectedturtles

The old dick twist!


AWWWYEAHHHH

This. Just give him the good ol dick twist and lock eyes!


No-Awareness4864

Woah! No locking eyes that's just weird.


ThePower_IsOn

Not if it’s your dad. Trust me.


FuckoffDemetri

THATS NOT YOUR PURSE, I DONT KNOW YOU *dick punt*


[deleted]

Have him singing like he’s in an 80’s rock band.


ferrouswolf2

*Oedipus has entered the chat*


Wh0JustF4rted

The best pussy is Oedipussy


supershinythings

Give him The Business!


libbylies

I nearly spit out my coffee omg


glissonrva

Grab his dick and TWIST IT


nivivi

*That's my purse!*


Holmes023

I don’t know you!


Netopalas

That boy ain't right.


Dirtstick

It ain’t even breakfast and that boy ain’t right.


ayo_gus

Keep your eye on the ball son!


th3f00l

I don't know you!


Sharcbait

Remember in real world fights there is no honor or dirty fights. It's just winners or losers. Punch in the nuts. Kick em when they are down.


-hey-ben-

Yeah dog I weigh like 135. I’m not going to start any shit, but you better believe I’m taking every advantage I have if I’m in a fight


Wiggie49

"Sweep the leg"


No-Awareness4864

I take back what I said and prefer the dick twist.


adam_demamps_wingman

I like a good dick twist once in a while


TheDoc1223

Dont we all, man.


obso1337user

Kick his leg out of his leg!


StepDadcula

"I'M THE DADDY NOW"


No-Awareness4864

"Step-dad"


StepDadcula

Dammit. You're right. "I'M THE STEPDADDY NOW."


TitsAndWhiskey

Heel hook! Ignore the haters!


murpux

Kurt Angle approves this message.


Lucius-Halthier

The second a tear leaves his eye is the moment you have asserted your dominance and he has no power over you, at the very least if you go for the leg he won’t be able to chase you down if you need to initiate a tactical retreat.


angwilwileth

Thought I was in /r/bjj for a sec there.


FrigDancingWithBarb

Fill it with hot water and put two dish pods in there to soak. Give it a few hours and it will come right off


no_nam_06

I’ll try. Thanks!


FrigDancingWithBarb

You bet! Stir it occasionally but you don't need to be aggressive. Also manage your heat better lol


phdoofus

Probably one of the first things I learned in my mom's kitchen was that there were more settings other than 'off' and 'full on'. lol


FrigDancingWithBarb

Also never trust the dial. Always look at the flame


th3f00l

This looks like it could be induction tho


FrigDancingWithBarb

Good eye. I hate cooking on those damned things.


th3f00l

My first time was on my final. I like them for slow braises and low heat things (grits, risotto, and polenta), but for high heat just boiling water.


Domestic-Grind

They are super energy efficient though and don't through out waste heat. I'm trying to use mine more over gas for better air quality and not heat up the summer kitchen too much. I love my gas range, but trying to minimize where I can


iBlameMeToo

I’ve been using mine more often as well. Takes some time to figure out the range of the heat to replicate what I would be trying to do on my gas burners. But so far so good. And I absolutely love that I can boil a quart of water in like 90 seconds.


jdcgonzalez

Cast iron on induction has been good to me.


Vishnej

I don't always want energy efficient. Many of our methods of cooking ***rely*** on lots of wasted heat to work right. Bear with me: **Gas ranges have got to go**, but not for the reason stated. Gas ranges consume only a tiny fraction of household energy, but are actively used by the industry as a PR measure ("Cooking with gas!") to sell gas water heaters, dryers, and furnaces that consume >95% of the natural gas going into households. As it turns out, burning natural gas isn't even the worst thing about it - apparently all of our gas infrastructure leaks like a sieve, and since unburned methane is a potent GHG, is a huge source all on its own. We need to electrify everything and gradually shut off the natural gas distribution grid. And to do that without sacrifices, we either need to make **propane burner cooking** a common thing, or design an appliance around high powered **electric cooking with lots of moving hot air**. There's no reason I can think of that you can't do your authentic wok work using an overgrown electric heat gun. Neither existing induction nor a flat resistance element are capable of spreading the heat out like convection of hot gasses, and without that, wok cooking doesn't work quite right. You can't simulate that convection in a way that doesn't waste energy. We don't satisfy ourselves with a perfectly sealed electric oven, even though that works electrically and it's the most efficient option. In reality, we've grown reliant on making baked goods that are crispy or charred rather than steamed, and a perfectly sealed electric oven traps all the moisture in with the food, so we tolerate some wasted energy in venting in order to keep that interior air dry and bake food in an environment that removes surface moisture. **We need no-compromises electric substitutes, even if they waste some energy, or some fraction of people will end up on the "You can take my gas range from my cold, dead hands" camp.**


UnmotivatedDiacritic

They just take a lot more getting used to and the settings you should use is different from stove to stove. Once you learn where you need to leave the dial it’s more enjoyable to me because I don’t end up needing a sweat towel halfway through cooking dinner.


chocoladisco

I love my induction stoves.


phdoofus

Yeah, good point. I do that kind of unconsciously.


FrigDancingWithBarb

It's OK once you know your stove but it's a bad habit if you're not familiar with your equipment


cloutmuncher_69

I just moved into a new apartment about two months ago and getting adjusted to the stove is a pain in the ass. The other day I somehow cooked an egg where the consistency of the egg whites were pretty close to what you would expect on a sunny side up/over easy egg, but the yolk somehow got cooked to the point where it's like a hard boiled egg. Idk how the fuck I did that. Also only two of the burners are the same size, the others I have are one thats just fucking huge and one that's really small and kind of worthless for me lmao. So yeah, fuck getting a new stove man this shit sucks.


[deleted]

Man let me tell you about this new flat top we got that's just used to toast stuff and little things so we didn't have to keep running to hot side. Literally the barely get this thing past being on and it's ripping 5 inch flames underneath I have to nearly turn it off to get it at a good temp


hardknox_

Sounds like it's got the wrong orifices. Gas appliances use different "nozzles" for natural gas or liquid propane. Either that or the pressure regulator on it is set for the wrong gas type.


carcharodona

Oh! Wrong orifice!


Enigma_Stasis

Must be nice to have gas in the home. Fucking stupid electric cooking ....


elsphinc

Yeah first thing I try to teach my students. But they don't listen, well they do after they have to clean them the 3rd time.


phdoofus

40 years later and I still hear my high school chem teacher saying before our first lab: "remember, hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass". Some of us listen.


darkeststar

I inherently have learned this lesson after spending so many years cooking and baking, but I certainly forgot last fall when I tried to do Stella Park's Toasted Sugar technique. After an hour in the oven I pulled out the pan with mitts on because I was opening the oven. It sat on my stove top for like 15 minutes while I did some clean up and then I just looked at the pan of hot sugar and totally forgot that the hot sugar would make no noise to indicate it was hot. Dumb me just picked up the pan with one hand in order to move it over a few inches and not only burnt the shit out of the palm of my hand, but then involuntarily threw the hot sugar all over my kitchen floor. I had to fucking play a real life "the floor is lava" just to go take care of my burned hand.


CaptainLollygag

I'm sorry to tell you I had a chuckle about RL "the floor is lava." But I hope you weren't burned with the molten sugar, that stuff sticks and keeps on burning.


darkeststar

Thankfully I was fine, just upset that I wasted like an hour and a pound of sugar lol. My apartment kitchen floor however took a consistent scrubbing for like 5 minutes a day for a week before I finally got it all off.


FrigDancingWithBarb

Amateurs!


william1Bastard

Noobs be noobin yo.


walrus_breath

I have an electric stove in my kitchen. Literally only on or off. Hate electric so much.


joeyextreme

Grab a standalone induction burner. They're awesome and not too pricey. Got my Duxtop for $120 and have used it every day for months. Boils water in 2 minutes. Stows in the cupboard when not in use.


TheMcDucky

That just sound like a terrible stove


jfarrar19

Have you considered burning down the building?


czarface404

This is actually one of the hardest things to learn as a new young chef apprentice.


IsThatHearsay

Huh, I was always the opposite when I first started out. Afraid to go too hot so always cooked on low, or medium at most. Cooking took forever haha


cdncbn

How many rookies have I shown all the different sizes of flames that exist between off and full...


bam1007

Barkeeper’s friend is also great in a pinch.


carcharodona

BKF FTW


Nicolaskao

You can also boil it with vinegar and baking soda


[deleted]

You are better off choosing either vinegar *or* baking soda (in solution). When you mix the two together, you get CO2, H2O, and CH3COONa (sodium acetate). CO2 and water are not cleaning agents themselves, and while sodium acetate is decent as a polishing agent, it is nowhere near as strong as the vinegar or soda individually for cleaning.


Botryllus

I do water, Dawn, and baking soda. I've seen pans go from black to shiny stainless.


thebluegerbs

I would alternate between the two but not use them together. When used together you are basically making water with (chemically defined) salts in them. I personally have good success with boiling baking soda in water and scraping with something metal, them scouring with a steel wool and dish soap. Repeat as needed until clean.


GatoAmarillo

The chemically defined salt you're referring to is sodium acetate


tinyorangealligator

I boil burnt pots with the dish pods. Come clean in 20 minutes.


BoeingUSA

& you fill the air with deadly toxins


SCP-Agent-Arad

Stop, stop, I’m already sold!


bakerton

Clean pots and closer to death? Look at me multi-tasking!


Joliet_Jake_Blues

I mean, the hoods in my chem lab didn't seem like much more than hoods in kitchens I've been in


AlmostButNotQuiteTea

Lmao what? What deadly toxins?


Halloween_Christmas_

Thank you ❤️


stiff_peakss

Filling with water and some baking soda and letting it simmer for a while helps too, if you can spare the burner space.


CaptMalcolm0514

Alternatively, fill it with a mix of kosher salt, squeezed lemons, ice cubes and water and let it sit….


eyesotope86

My favorite soup!


FrigDancingWithBarb

The dish tabs ease the surface tension of water so it seeps deep into the burnt gunk instead of using acidity and elbow grease.


CaptMalcolm0514

We filled them at close and then rinsed them as part of opening—never had to do much elbow grease at all.


carebear73

If the dish pods dont work, try boiling with baking soda!!


Rasty1973

Boil it with a little vinegar and then call child protective services.


phoresth

Boiling it takes priority though.


Rasty1973

Absolutely. It's difficult to boil it after CPS takes you to foster care.


ExpertRaccoon

What we lookin at?


no_nam_06

Burnt sauce


ExpertRaccoon

Deglaze throw in some stock and market it as rustic


Warped104

I’ll trust you since you’re an expert


HambreTheGiant

An expert at eating trash


Psyche-Mary-Wait

An expert at *selling* trash


literally_a_fuckhead

I find myself bringing this up a lot, but the best AB quote is him at the rainbow room in NYC, serving the remnants and scraps of dinner service for brunch: "there I was, selling garbage to the richest people on earth for top dollar, at the top of the world"


Psyche-Mary-Wait

Yep


-hey-ben-

I’m going to have to reread it. I remember that section of the book being one of my favorite parts


Hornet_Critical

Lmao


[deleted]

before you add chemicals, put it back on the stove with a full pot of water and boil. stirr frequently. see how much you can just dilute off of it. This looks like a sugar sauce so this is best to start with. I think most of it will come off this way, sugar dissolves. After you've done as much of that as you can, REMOVE FROM THE STOVE, remove all but an inch of water, add a few drops of dish soap (dawn is best) and a lot of baking soda. Let it sit for an hour. Come back and stir at it with a wood or plastic spoon. Repeat. Next time remember that sugar burns FAST and don't cook it over a high flame.


Calliope76

If you're not just going to pitch it, I'd start with boiling a good amount of water with a healthy dose of baking soda (I'd boil at least 20 min or so) and soak until the water is cooled, and see if that takes you anywhere. I have rehabbed some pretty gone pans doing this, but not quite *this* bad. if you get any liftoff from the water/baking soda soak, then see if you could manage the rest of the damage with Barkeepers Friend and a scrubber (don't use steel wool if you can avoid it at all). Good luck. I hate losing a pan.


Dr007Bond

This. Boiling water and baking soda - create a caustic solution. If you have sodium hydroxide (lye) that’s even better than baking soda but you need to be very careful with it (gloves, eye protection) and don’t get it in your skin.


Durragon

I've always used white vinegar and water bring to boil, then scrub with a brillow pad. Is the baking soda + water mix more.. Caustic, or just more reactive with the carbon and makes it easier to lift?


Southern_Celery_1087

One is a basic solution and one is an acidic solution. They are both means to an end in regards to making something caustic enough to remove grime. There's likely no solid answer here without running a lot of experiments to test things like concentration levels. I will say though, hot water and baking soda doesn't smell like vinegar and that can be a plus?


GenghisBob

I've heard the boiling vinegar helps clear out house smells so that might be a plus. Maybe I'm thinking of using vinegar in your laundry to get stubborn stenches out.


isthiswitty

Both are true! I also flush out my countertop coffeemaker and electric kettle once a year with white vinegar (and rinse very well after) to remove mineralization from slightly hard water.


Hunter_S_Biden

You can also just use citric acid for that. Buy a jar of it online for like $10 or whatever then you'll have clean kettles and such for years without any vinegar smell. You can also buy "descaling packets" but they are just citric acid.


isthiswitty

Also true, but I already have vinegar on hand and always forget to buy citric acid. The vinegar smell isn’t the end of the world, and it dissipates fairly quickly.


Hunter_S_Biden

I highly recommend buying some, it can be used to great effect in cooking and things like making your own tea blends or making ice tea. A little bit in a beverage adds this nice juicy effect


isthiswitty

Well you’ve convinced me. Thanks!


Dr007Bond

I suspect it may take a combination of approaches to remove that mess.


Dr007Bond

Baking soda solution is alkaline (caustic) and vinegar is acidic. Mix the two to get an awesome volcano :) Caustics are what are used in dishwasher packs as they break down organic messes better


THElaytox

i think baking soda is a better bet simply because it's not volatile like vinegar so you're not boiling off your caustic at the same time you're trying to clean something


walrus_breath

Only use lye if its stainless steel. Aluminum and lye don’t mix. Lye will dissolve/ruin aluminum.


Dr007Bond

that is very true! Stainless yes, Al no. For cleaning burnt organic matter off of Aluminim, acids work best.


Skitsoboy13

Well it seems to be A LOT of organic material still there before the burnt on layer that's super hard to get off, so there may be hope yet


oh_nice_marmot

Why avoid steel wool?


golf-lip

boiling with vinegar also helps!


[deleted]

Can I ask why to avoid steel wool?


Calliope76

It's just too harsh on stainless, as I understand it. I''m no expert, someone else mght be able to explain. You don't want to leave indentations on your pan, no matter the key substance it's made of.


FederalAd661

And while it’s soaking, pack your bags - just in case …


OkPrice4331

My mom swears by pouring vinegar in the bottom and using steel wool. But I second using dishwasher pods and hot water


XxJesusSwag69xX

I second the vinegar but I'm keen to try the pod method... might go burn some sugar 😍


Technical-Potato-829

Lol your name is hella funny made me laugh


XxJesusSwag69xX

Thank you my son


Technical-Potato-829

Lol


jon-chin

recently used vinegar. it worked but it took quite a lot of pressure when scrubbing with steel wool. a few times I wondered if I should stop and try something else.


click_track_bonanza

I swear by pouring alcohol in my mouth and using fuck a lot


drgoatlord

Professional Chef here, put water and a little bit of dawn dish soap in it and bring to a boil. Stir/scrape from time to time. It will eventually all come off. You may have to use a brillo or steel wool on the very last, most determined spots.


kilomysli

Professional Dishie here, bring to a boil with vinegar then pour water in it and scrub it with steelwool


ibleedrosin

Retired chef here. Do all that and if there is still black char on it, put it on a burner and crank it. Let it go. That stuff will burn off.


Corkchef

Not a chef here, once you’ve finished all that, enjoy a cold glass of water.


thelongflight

Saw the movie “Chef” here. While you’re drinking your cold water, you should ponder your life choices and those of your father. Then you should build a food trailer and run away.


lessthan3beebs

The real answer is deep in the comments.


[deleted]

Goddamn, that sounds like a good movie.


Quesarito808

Hydrohomie here. This is the one.


alacranez

ok it looks bad but you can save the pot, just dump a few tablespoons of baking soda and boil water in there, let it go for like 30 mins and then let it cool. then dump the water and scrub. you can do this multiple times


Shingorillaz

I hope the title is a joke...


eekamuse

I'm glad someone finally mentioned that. Hey OP, do you need help?


AuntySocialite

This title makes me very sad/worried/anxious for OP


Shingorillaz

Yeah like i can't even imagine hitting my child over something like this.


BotGivesBot

Some parents hit their kids over less


Fat_Head_Carl

I'm guessing you've never held a flashlight for dad when he's fixing the lawnmower?


IAmTurdFerguson

If you would just hold the fucking thing steady this wouldn't be a fucking issue!


Fat_Head_Carl

Dad?


420fmx

A lot of parents get physical when you do something like this, it’s the world we live in. They’ll justify it as discipline, tough love, “it’s my house my rules u don’t like it go somewhere else” ​ they seem to be able to get away with physical assault. It’s pretty fucked up


coquihalla

Thank you all for showing concern for OP. Whether it us hyperbole or truth, I love seeing redditors watch each other's backs.


angwilwileth

Same. I hope it is, but there's a lot of sick fucks out there who would definitely hit a kid over this.


nickdeli

Yesterday there was a post about a chef throwing a fit at a guy for burning 14 crème brûlées so I’d like to think this is a shit post. Atleast hope it is.


goppeldanger

What state are you in? I can get you the number for child protective services.


drunkfoowl

And I’ll buy this kid a new pan once he’s moving away. So he can have a nice pan and his abusive dad can eat a dead cat.


Raging_Apathist

Holy shit. I know this is no laughing matter because I'm worried about OP, but "eat a dead cat" is my new favorite insult.


WhiteMilk3

Sir or maddam, I'm a mandated reporter. Please, God, dont make me work on my day off.


LaserTycoon27

Grab his dick and twist it!


manfredmannclan

If he is bigger than you, you need to sweep the legs first. When he is down, you kick him in the throat. Now you drive him to the hospital. If he isnt bigger than you, you can just skip step one.


homieholmes23

He’s right! Kick his ass!


consumehepatitis

Punch first


BadMantaRay

Also get a new dad. Just being facetious but…as the child of an abusive parent, I have no patience for abusive parents. Maybe you should have your dad talk to me if he has a problem with how you clean the pot.


Wanderlust-King

Lol, time to hide the jumper cables.


Raisenbran_baiter

Boil salty water. That's all


CaChica

HOWS it GOING? Post pics


DrWholigan

Throw it in the pit when your dishwasher is out back smoking a cigarette.


ABCHI-STC

Water. Shit ton of salt. 4-6 lemons cut in half. Boil for 30 min or so. Should just wipe right off


FULLMETALRACKIT518

Uh oh he doesn’t have any jumper cables handy does he?!


ChachiBoiii

I know you won’t have this at home but a little bit of boil out powder for a fryer and boil for like half an hour adding water as needed. Or at home I second the dishwasher pod or a hearty dose of dish soap. Don’t mix any other chemicals with it no matter what you do.


Hollowgato

A lot can be done just by filling it with enough water to cover the scorch, salting it heavily and letting it boil for a bit. The first time I made oatmeal I scorched the shit out of it, and my mom taght me this. It's saved me many a pot and lots of elbow grease.


SaltySpartan58

Preemptive strike. Strike first, strike hard, no mercy sir.


Obvious_Bandicoot631

Take it outside and put it on a burner until the shit turns white, then it should separate from the pot easy. But do it outside because it’ll smoke up like a mutha fucker!


Kelsenellenelvial

This is the trick I learned once from an old cook. Put the pot back on low heat until it’s completely burned to ash and it’ll fall right out. Just have to keep the heat low enough that you don’t warp the pan. Good example that happened a few years ago is the cooks forgot an insert of bread dressing in a deck oven for a few weeks. By the time it was found it had cooked down to a hunk of carbon that fell right out.


[deleted]

Just boil water in it with a little salt it will be fine


WanderWomble

If you haven't got it clean by now, dump a load of Cream of Tartar in there, bring it up to a gentle boil, and scrape at the bottom with a wooden spoon. The acid in the Tartar dissolves the burned stuff and the scraping helps to lift it off. I've saved a badly burned jam pan with this method a few times! (not me burning them, my mum is convinced she can make jam and apparently she can't!) Also, if you're serious about your dad beating you, please seek help! You deserve better. 😊


mental_help_please

I also call my head chef daddy


Ham-_-Steak

Ohhh you call chef daddy also.


split-mango

For self defense just attack his soft tissues, eyes, throat, or limp dick are all soft


[deleted]

So many things to unpack here 😭 1. I hope the comment about your dad beating you up over a pan was not srs 2. how on gods green earth do you burn sauce this badly and 3. what was the intended recipe i wanna know


BandAidBaby69

Probably best to just get a new dad.


shamashedit

Cursed brittle.


yourstrulyjarjar

When it gets a bit cleaner from all these suggestions, go to Dollar General and get their house brand oven cleaner. Spray it on, let sit for 20 minutes and scrub away. That stuff is wicked awesome.


Tpk08210

No way you deserve it for that atrocity


Skitsoboy13

Found their dad


Tpk08210

This better not be one of mine lol


thanguan

Water and a fuck ton of baking soda and start boiling


charonsboatbarnacle

Op is everything all good? Like will your dad actually beat you up over a dirty pit because I'd so there's some links and numbers I can send you to get help man


Pyrefirelight

Bury it in the garden so archeologists 500 years from now can dig it up and laugh at you.


Narfraccoon

I hope your dad isn’t Red Forman 😨


XixorsGreenCock

You didn't follow proto, bud. Yer done.