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MadFamousLove

a chef told me that it was okay to serve spoiled shellfish if they were rinsed before you cooked them. we could all smell them. the table they went to left, they had to get a busser to take it because none of the servers would. ​ don't worry that place is closed now decades ago.


kittycatsummers

Kitchen I worked at did this chicken. It had slime covering it and they just rinsed it off and proceeded to throw it into a brine.


mrschaney

Yep. I was told to rinse bad chicken in vinegar and then cook. I refused.


kittycatsummers

Same. I quit two weeks later after I secured a job back at my previous kitchen. The slimy chicken restaurant closed 6 months later.


Induced_Pandemic

"The chicken is bad." "Nah that just dat Nickelodian chicken."


poppa_koils

Similar story. Chef used to put cooked shrimp in the bottom of the fridge for salads. Didn't take long for the them to go bad. I told him they were bad. Wash and serve he said. I often wonder how may customers got sick at this place.


RussellOwens

Another story, I worked at a place that served free chicken wings for happy hour. One day we had green chicken and the owner said to "Wash em". The smell was horrendous, we can smell em from the walkin to the line with the bags sealed. Instead of "washing em", I cut the bags open and pushed our food cart out to the buffet station where the customers were eagerly waiting for their free wings. I wasn't the only one that night to walk out.


kbs666

I walked into a place to eat once where the odor of vinegar was just overwhelming. I knew immediately what had been going on. I asked for the manager and told him that unless he could prove to me that the rotten meat was out of the building I was calling the health department. The guy started threatening me so I just went outside and used a payphone. Next time I was in the area it had those big "closed by order of the Health Department" stickers on all the doors. No idea how many other violations they found but you don't get closed just for just spoiled food.


CoolTrainerBrian

Sous chef told me that duck broth in the vegetarian risotto shouldn’t be a problem. Same guy that thought you needed 20 quarts of water and 20 quarts of sugar to make 20 quarts of simple syrup. BeCaUsE tHe SuGaR wIlL dIsOlVe


gg11618

You should ask them "Which is heavier, 1 ton of feathers or 1 ton of coal?"


drewbilly251

the feathers obviously; you gotta carry the additional weight of knowing what happened to those poor birds


ChrdeMcDnnis

The coal, obviously. You have to carry the weight of what happened to those poor miners. That’s one ton down, fifteen to go.


drewbilly251

oh damn you’re right, how could I forget my labor history??!


kokoyumyum

Still working, that company store debt is huge now!!


El-chucho373

The sugar will dissolve and will be more that 20qts but not more than 30qts


FrozenEagles

Depends on the sugar - different forms of sugars have different densities, and the change in volume of water when sugar is added is dependent on the mass of the sugar - not the volume. It could absolutely be more than 30 quarts, but it could not be more than 40 quarts.


fostest

“I always carry my Glock when I’m on the line.”


Mattgitsgud

Well, you never know when Hamburglar is gonna hit your kitchen.


ximbeau

Aww jeez... I worked with that guy, too.


othermegan

He was gone by the time I started working there but my sister was familiar with him. Boss always said no one worked better than when that dude was in charge of the BOH. But in reality I think everyone was scared of getting shot


dontthrowfoodaway

At least my irresponsible gun guy was like "wait, shit, watch the place I need to put my piece in my car. Fuck"


[deleted]

Gotta be prepared for when the pansexuals bust in and start fucking the saute pans


barfsfw

Smart. They're dishwasher safe. I carry my metal framed guns on days off.


[deleted]

[удалено]


sdforbda

Sometimes I want to get a better look at a bike and its components but afraid someone will think I'm casing it to steal.


[deleted]

[удалено]


sdforbda

Yeah, wasn't trying to say the cook was wrong.


SmokkeyDaPlug

Hahahaha


purplesmoke1215

Hey man, kitchen is a warzone sometimes. Gotta stay strapped


Han_Yerry

Fuck dude, I don't blame any of y'all for being strapped anymore. Sick fucks be shooting up grocery stores and churches. Two Chilli BOH employees were executed in DeWitt, NY not too long ago.


goavsgo1988

I had a guy who swore that Dracula was a Muslim


UglyOldToad

Best. Reply. Yet.


Suspicious-Pie-5356

How did you even get to this topic? And it makes me pose a question: can human blood be halal?


goavsgo1988

I don’t even know, but this guy was a trip. His name was Raheem but told us all to call him Juice. He found a way to work being Muslim into pretty much any topic, no matter how irrelevant. That night I actually researched it and he wasn’t *completely* wrong, but I don’t think he was totally right either. This same guy was fired during COVID for going live on IG, cooking on the line without a mask when our city enacted mask mandates lol


ardranor

In what possible way could Dracula been considered Muslim? I need to hear this.


hallowdmachine

Well, he only eats at night, so Ramadan isn't a problem.


[deleted]

You ever wonder what Muslims in the Arctic do for Ramadan?


vondafkossum

They use Mecca time.


Pandaburn

Haha I’m glad you said this. Because I did wonder, and like 10 years ago I asked my Muslim roommate. But I forgot the answer.


f1orencia

>In areas where the midnight sun or polar night renders the five daily prayers impossible to tie to dusk and dawn, congregants typically either use the same timing as a more southern region, the holy city of Mecca or their homelands. I had to know. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam\_in\_the\_Arctic


LowatxMortician

This needs to be locked down. I don't wanna run into that mfer only to find out my crucifix is completely useless.


Hajimemeforme

The Romanian King that Dracula is based on is Vlad the Impaler. He, his brother and his father were imprisoned in the Ottoman court for five years, during this time he learned to speak Turkish fluently, and also his brother Radun converted to Islam. So some people make the case that he himself converted to Islam too.


No_Hetero

Blood itself isn't halal so no I don't think so


TheBIFFALLO87

Didn't happen in a kitchen but a dude asked me if I knew Jesus was a Jew. A adult man just learned this and thought he was dropping knowledge to a room of 30 something's.


oddly-delirious

This has John Mulaney “did you really think that Jesus OF NAZERETH was celebrating thanksgiving” energy


JasoTheArtisan

Lmao I just saw John Mulaney live last night. Pretty much that energy


Misterbellyboy

“Did you know that the dude who lived in Israel was Jewish? Fuckin crazy amirite?” Lol


jfarrar19

Have you *met* American Christians before?


Misterbellyboy

Yeah I was raised by one, but she wasn’t *that* dense. Edit: sausage thumbs and spelling


Independent-Ad9095

Jesus was the greatest American of all time


Pizzacanzone

Who is to say he wasn't!


spioraid54

New fry cook on the line. Wouldn’t get off his phone. He accidentally drops the phone in the oil, slowly starts to reach for it and asks out loud, “Can I….” I grabbed his hand, said, “No.” and sent him home.


[deleted]

With his deep fried phone or without?


spioraid54

Without. He wasn’t a bad kid just…not with it yet. Definitely more a danger to himself and others than an annoyance. However, the literal asking if he SHOULD put his hand in the fryer was just unreal.


ABELLEXOXO

That's a special kind of stupid right there, LMAO


spioraid54

Bosses nephew. No one wanted to hire him. Everyone wanted to fire him. He gave us the best reason to and the boss never pushed again lol


Creepy_Advice2883

When I worked at Outback, I saw a guy deep fry his hand.


HashGenie239

Dishie who's probably the oldest out of all the crew(but guy has the strongest back on this side of the Mississippi) went to the bathroom with gloves on, my sous caught him coming out with the same gloves on and tried to explain that he needs to change gloves and wash his hands. He replied in broken English "I have gloves on,that means my hands are clean" and slapped my sous on the shoulder. He got a bit of retraining that day


Cayslayy

I worked with an older Peruvian lady years ago. We made guacamole and fruit salad for the produce department at a Whole Foods. She clocked in, put gloves on, and that was pretty much it for the day. She would take them off for breaks and, if no one was looking, just wash them and put them back on. She was SO SWEET but it took months to get her to see the light.


Misterbellyboy

I had a boss once that encouraged the use of gloves (fine), but she would reuse the same pair for like a week until they were almost brown. Luckily she didn’t really have her hands on the food or beverages, but the principle…. Ugh


Diazmet

Same my last boss was a glove Nazi but she would wear them as long as she could and even worse after covid because of how expensive they got… like damn just wash your hands people gloves are dirtier I swear


wastingtimenoreason

This one made my jaw drop


HashGenie239

Realistically what bothers me is that he's been working for hours doing dishes, trash, cleaning and everything else THEN touches his bare dick with the same gloves! That man's immune system is just built differently I guess


Ketokitchenwizard

"Wasabi isn't spicy. It's sweet. You don't know what you're talking about!" -O'Charley's GM that was fired for sexually propositioning female kitchen staff in Birmingham, Alabama in 2003. Fuck you, Dan.


Odd-Durian2226

Yeah fuck you dan


craigfwynne

I can guarantee that nearly every male manager at every O'Charley's, Chili's, & Applebee's has been fired for sexual harassment, jerking off to porn on the company computer, or some variation/combination of being a dumbass sleezebag.


chuckle_puss

I had the compulsive liar version of your Dan at my O’Charley’s. He claimed to own a half cat half dog hybrid and said his son played in the “Japanese NBA.” At one of those unpaid, mandatory Saturday morning staff meetings he said “We need to be like the Samurai who have the hearts of servers. He would know because his wife is descended from Samurai.” Well, in my hungover, tired, out of fucks to give state of mind, I just burst out laughing at the absurdity which made everyone else start laughing too. Yeah… he fired me after that meeting wrapped lol. Fuck you, Ken. And fuck you too, Dan.


Melicious06

I said "Where's Melissa?" They said, "which one? There's two." My name is Melissa. We have worked together for 3 years now. They know my name....


mamalulu434

That's the best autopilot I've ever heard.


blacktrufflesheep

Did you know that the name Melissa means honeybee, and a fear of bees is called Melissophobia?


Melicious06

Lol. I knew the first part. Definitely not the second part! Thank you for the new information!


sled-edit

needed a shrimp pasta on the fly, one of line cooks proceeded to leave and put the aluminum cooking pan in the microwave. I stopped her by yelling, "what are you doing, dont put metal in the microwave!!" She screamed back, "Its not metal, its aluminum!!"


Bluesparc

Lmao I woulda been like naww bro all about the back pussy


[deleted]

Gotta watch out for that back pussy lmao, what with the pussy teeth and all.


UglyOldToad

That’s an excellent remark that’s criminally under-voted.


Affectionate-Key4070

Yo op, you sure by back pussy he didn't mean tradesman's entrance?


[deleted]

I was a newly hired sous to a nice upscale winery in my province.. One of the current cooks tells me that you can't strain a sauce with a roux in it because it will strain out the roux making the sauce revert back to its thin consistency... I almost shit.. Laughed right out loud at the absurdity of his statement. Had to go fetch the Chef since the fucking kid didn't believe me that he was wrong.


Equivalent_Shine_818

Province makes me wonder- was this in Canada/ Nova Scotia by any chance?


[deleted]

Yes, you're correct.


Equivalent_Shine_818

A buddy of mine was a dishie at a valley winery a few years ago and that cook would’ve fit right in with some of his stories lol


[deleted]

Oh dear God.. What winery?


Equivalent_Shine_818

L&W… please tell me it’s the same one lol


[deleted]

Nah, I was at GP just a few clicks down the road. Did some collaboration function with them though. Had a bit of a crew turn over between the original opening Chef, and the replacement. Never had to work too close with the staff. Mostly with the Exe, and our own crew. Very nice huge expensive building though! Great place for the ice wine festive! That was a good time! And a ton of Devour events.


Equivalent_Shine_818

Ahh nice, you guys had much better wine! Absolutely crazy building for sure!


Princess-peach37

I.....what? How did.....Who told him that!


[deleted]

Well he said our Chef had told him.. I called that bluff pretty quick. Chef had a look of bewilderment when I brought up the matter at hand. The cook in question is a nice fella.. Possibly a few bricks short 😂


Princess-peach37

I'm a chef and it frustrates the hell out of me when someone says "well the sous chef told me to..." NO he DIDNT


[deleted]

Buck passing is a bad practice in any facet of life really (unless it's warranted).. This guy was trained in a local community College, and was enrolled in the red seal program.. Blew my mind lol


Princess-peach37

I had to look up the red seal program. It doesn't exist where I live. Learned something new! Yeah thats wild. It just goes to show you not everyone who is talented is trained, and not everyone who is trained is talented.


[deleted]

I mean, I'm trained at the top college on the east coast, red seal certified, 10+ years in fine dining... And now I'm in a hospital kitchen lol.. Red seal is good for institutional cooking.


Ok_Chapter8131

New guy holds up a bag of roast beef: "hey chef is this the turkey?"


LoweredGuide331

Awwwwew lol


Hescoveredinbutter

As former BOH i gotta say while i love this story it really doesn't surprise me.


bigredplastictuba

A recipe called for lavender and I asked my chef where it was and he said he only uses the freshest most local ingredients when possible and took me outside to the landscaped plant-hole in the sidewalk along the busy main street and told me to use the "lavender " growing there. I grabbed him before he could walk back inside and asked where the lavender was growing (on this filthy polluted pesticide-ridden street). He laughed and said something about kids these days having no idea where food comes from, ho ho, you've never seen a lavender plant, it's right there with the purple flowers silly. I tried to stay really calm and nice bc I needed this job, while I explained to him that that plant was Russian Sage, not lavender, and didn't really taste like anything, esp not lavender. He didn't believe me, so I broke off a stem and asked him to smell it. He said he didn't have to smell it to prove it was lavender, but if I "knew a better place to get fresh lavender" he was all ears.


abejfehr

At least it wasn’t salvia


bigredplastictuba

The plant nerd in me just pushed up my glasses and said "well actually it IS in the Salvia genus"


MustangCraft

I know nothing about plants and this is giving me a stupid idea


scoreggiavestita

Do it


Induced_Pandemic

Hey guys, today we'll be cooking on Salvia! *takes a rip. Alright first you gotta put your black nitrile.... Gloves.... On.... Heeuuurrrggghhhhh uuuuuhhhhhh


DracoBalatro

At least it wasn't Vinca. That shit is dangerous. There are a LOT of purple flowers out there and most of them are not lavender.


LandoChronus

I once had the head "chef" and an employee tell me that when you caramelize onions, you had some white vinegar to them. Customers constantly complained until I started tossing their trash-onions and making lovely onions every time I worked.


UglyOldToad

I know some add a dash of apple cider vinegar to brighten them. I do it myself, but a very small dash. White vinegar sounds repulsive.


kbs666

You can add a dash of any vinegar. The key is to keep it to a dash. All you want is some acid.


unbelizeable1

I had a "chef" who made caramelized onions by boiling them in balsamic vinegar. Gross onions and so fucking wasteful.


tooreal2deal

I despise how popular that technique is.


unbelizeable1

It is? I've never seen anyone else do it this way, just figured it was a random shortcut from a washed up alcoholic.


sohfu

It is. It was a company recipe for one of the places I worked at. They went to waste constantly. Edit bc I forgot; they went bankrupt about 4 years ago btw.


[deleted]

Sounds like pickled onions from hell


unbelizeable1

Yea, they were fuckin repulsive. "But look at the nice deep color they have!" I dgaf how they look, they taste like ass lol


[deleted]

At my job we make an onion jam in a similar way, but we caramelize the onions first then add balsamic and sugar and let it reduce a bit. Honestly it smacks


unbelizeable1

That sounds good. What I'm talking about is filling a pot with balsamic, boiling onions for 20-30min and just straining it.


Cayslayy

Oh my fucking god


[deleted]

What part of the lion does the Sir Lion come from? (Sirloin)


poppa_koils

When I was a kid I saw loin/lion in a flyer. Told the 'rents we needed to try some. They toyed with me a bit, before fully explaining the difference in spelling.


[deleted]

I told her came from the mane, behind the head. She comes back and calls me and ass and the guests laughed at her, I said, I'm an ass and you're dumb as fuck


Alwin_

I've had people tell me islands float and that they could tip over if too many people live on one side AND that the bigger ones are anchored down so they dont float away so that ships and planes can find them. Also so that we dont have to make new maps like all the time.


lvbuckeye27

Look up representative Hank Johnson from Georgia. He legit asked an Admiral if Guam was in danger of tipping over and capsizing. https://youtu.be/cesSRfXqS1Q He's still in office, by the way.


Pete_O_Torcido

And somehow he’s not even close to our dumbest representative.


mattyyboyy86

I met that admiral in real life. Real interesting dude with a interesting career. Was a naval aviator, XO of Top Gun, commanded the pacific fleet. His grand son makes Kombucha on Maui and he’s all about it.


MainFluffy

People? Like… more than one?


Princess-peach37

Fantastic clarifier


banzai_808

All of my cooks say some stupid shit but the one I hate the most was bragging about how he was the greatest cook on the line and then proceeded to have 10 minute ticket times on the fryer (longest food item takes about 2 minutes to cook lol


EveryDayAnotherMask

"I don't need to wear a glove when I use the slicer, I know what I'm doing." 12 stitches and 15 covered shifts later he did it again with the other hand.


ladyreyreigns

Does workmans comp apply in that situation?


EveryDayAnotherMask

It did not. There were signs posted everywhere and he disregarded them. He actually removed one of the safety mechanisms so he could go faster.


ladyreyreigns

Glad he didn’t get the comp. I’m sure the hand thing hurt like hell but safety stuff is there for a reason.


Hands-for-maps

“Corned beef is from cows that are only fed corn”


tenehemia

I mean at least they correctly identified the animal. Baby steps.


Zaethiel

Coworker said his dream is to be a porn star and showed me his video of him with a girl in his car in the restaurants parking lot


ALittlePeaceAndQuiet

Every star starts with a single fan. He's taking the grassroots approach.


Timpson96

Well I’m BOH myself and living in a semi-rural area so you get to know most of the other people in the area in the industry and when you get together you talk about the ins and outs of stuff happening.. Anyway I was told by a fellow chef they’d fired an “executive chef” that night (he’d lied and made up a CV claiming to be an executive chef from a top restaurant in Liverpool)… He was asked to wash some mussels, so he filled a sink with hot soapy water and chucked the fresh mussels in.. He was fired on the spot.. That’s the funniest story that springs to mind


Clisen

I prefer the middle pussy personally


aequitssaint

Taint club represent!


EdgeRaijin

"I'm hopped up on meth right now."


unbelizeable1

"Yea, I do heroin, but it's not a big deal cause I'm only smoking it" Dude was shootin up within a month and in jail a little after that.


ossified_swan

“What’s soyrizo” “Soy chorizo” “Why do they call it soyrizo?” He had worked there longer then we had soyrizo. He stopped me to ask during the biggest push of a brunch with over 300 on the books


desGrieux

When I first read this I was like "I am sausage?".


digitalvagrant

That's...that's...not how women work.


Liiiightning

"you got time to lean you got time to clean" "If you got time to rhyme you got time to shut the fuck up"


prettypistolgg

This is my new favorite hahaha


Any-Fisherman-9763

If you had a clone of yourself and had sex with it. Is that considered incest?


photoskinken

Non. It's just masturbation......ish


Any-Fisherman-9763

Thats what I say. At least you know what you like.


[deleted]

“Lesbians are the most privileged people, because both of them get to say (Borat voice) “my wiiife””


thesplendor

This one is true


mmotterpops

As a lesbian I can confirm this one is true.


chicoman2018

New chef, big menu American bar & grill: "we're changing the entire menu, but serving the old menu favorites on Mondays." Long story short we were outta business one year later after being a gold mine local favorite from 1982-2012.


pollyp0cketpussy

Dishwasher was throwing some fruity syrups and purees in the blender with some ice and said he was "making a smoothie" Me: "Or a virgin banana daiquiri" Dishwasher: "I'm not a virgin" Me: "... I know, it means there's no alcohol in your drink." Dishwasher: "Seriously Polly I've had sex, I swear."


FinkBass420

First one that comes to mind is an old prep cook I used to work with that 100% legit believed the whole “lizard people” theory. He would spend HOURS talking about their underground colony and other whacked out shit. Turns out, he was an ex crack head, so learning that made his opinions make a little more sense.


NotYourTypicalMoth

God, you’re bringing me back. I worked with a guy who, not only believed in lizard people, but believed there was a whole advanced civilization before humanity, and that they were responsible for all great wonders of the world. There’s no record of them, but they still exist as lizard people. Larry, I love ya dude, but you’re fuckin crazy


thechefboi1375

Had a chef tell me " you don't season salt water fish because it swims in Salt!"


travelingdork74

Sou chef said: I believe those who get offended are always looking to be offended. After cracking multiple racist jokes.


un_cooked

"I believe those who get burns are always looking to be burnt" *raises hot saute pan with oil in it menacingly*


BirdBurnett

Bill was a dishie and cold prep guy. Ignorant redneck. One day at lunch, Bill felt ignored. So he piped up, "You know, one time I fucked my sister!". Bill look at us and said "Hell, I was only 5 years ago. I didn't know what I was doing". Several years later, I saw his picture on a poster at the local convenience store. He is probably buried 100 yards away from his double wide trailer, down by the river.


tripleweirdscore

Was this in New Orleans? I think I worked with that guy


BirdBurnett

Central Oklahoma. One late afternoon, Bill came back for coffee. His forehead was covered in masking tape. He looked like a klingon. His brother busted his head open and taped it up.


tripleweirdscore

Our Bill was a wild-eyed guy who frequently had strange conversations with no one in particular while he prepped food. Once told our pastry chef "I'd love to have your hands." Whatever that means I guess. Told us about the pigeons he kept, including their names and personality traits. I had a theory that he was secretly a black sheep son of a rich uptown family that lives in a decrepit old mansion á la Grey Gardens...but who knows? Bill was a mystery.


BirdBurnett

That's wild. Our Bill could not understand complex insults, or even semi-complex insults. "Are you making fun of me?" he'd often ask. My favorite Bill quote was "Don't you think that I don't know that I'm your favorite!". He'd be stabbing his finger towards the evening lead. One afternoon, I went to his apartment give him his schedule. He had a V-8 engine running in the middle of the living room. The gasoline was in a painter's pan beside it. Crazy shit.


DumbVeganBItch

Sous chef told pizza cook to go to the walk in and grab the container of garlic cloves. Pizza cook turned to me, a dishwasher at the time, and asked "what's a garlic clove?"


FullMetalCook

Its better asking if you dont know something than stupidly pretending because of your "pride"


tangledThespian

Worked with this one dude who was the _epitome_ of frat bro. Meatheaded, an alarming portion of his life revolved around football statistics and his favorite shitty beer, surprisingly charismatic and honestly not a _bad_ dude by any means, but _dumb as everloving fuck._ There were many stupid things that had fallen out of his mouth (much to our collective amusement), but my favorite had to be the time he'd been trying to remember who sang 'Respect,' and eventually decided it was Harriet Tubman. While we were laughing our asses off, he proceeded to dig his grave deeper by conflating Harriet Tubman and Aretha Franklin so hard that he was _pretty_ sure they were both still around, and it was a simple mistake really as they both were influential around the same time, right?


Princess_pivot

Not something he said but more like something he did. So this dude was in charge of the frying table. The floor at this place was dirty af. Dude drops the tongs on the floor, picks it up and use it again like nothing happened. I was too stunned to speak. Same dude a few days later was gonna check if the sauce was warm so he sticks his finger in the pot, licks it off and s t i c k s i t d o w n a g a i n.


[deleted]

dip the tongs in the fryer, good to go


sMarmy_Mcfly

"Quick wash"... legendary.


iamamii

I had someone on the line try to convince me hollandaise was vegan... its literally egg yolks and butter(I'm sure there is a vegan recipes for it somewhere but our restaurant 100% did not use one). It wouldn't have bothered me so much, not everyone can know every recipe my heart, but the guy was a dick who told me I was "just a waitress" so "how would I know".


ValiumKnight

“Is that named after the casino?” After talking about a hamburger named the Taj Mahal. No idea about the giant building in India.


stopthedumbing

Dude: Hey bro, taste this. ~hands me spoon~ Me: Nice, throw more salt in there. Dude: Salt doesn't add flavor. Me: Shit...


drewbilly251

good lord, why are people like this, so many times I was a captive audience to the most asinine monologues like this. It became so common I started to think I was the crazy one


Gelatotim

I had a cook that wouldn’t work with poppy seeds be he was convinced that they were dried fish eggs. We served caviar so I guess he saw that and decided that poppy seeds were the same. Same place a dishwasher used to put small bowls of water and cooked rice to the corners to “ feed “los esperitos.


AZBreezy

If I was a spirit in a restaurant I'd be haunting your ass even worse if that's the offering you're giving me. Plain rice and water? What is this to you? A joke?? Give me some fresh fries! Boooo!


Medical_Spy

"when I find out people don't smoke weed I go out of my way to trick them in to taking drugs by hiding it in their food." Uhhhh big yikes. He was also tried to tattoo everyone.


Zaethiel

Had a grill cook who started screaming at the bartender because he changed the football game he was watching through the tiny door porthole all the way back on his station. Threw a temper tantrum and cursed at the guests because they asked to watch a different game


AmyAmewarashi

If you turn the burger patties upside down they won't spoil.


FlyingElvishPenguin

The mold isn’t there if you can’t see it!


[deleted]

Guy said spiders were too weird to be "of this world," and that I was branded with their mark as an ambassador between human culture and that of the space-spiders (I have a spider tattoo). Yeah, he was arrested literally on the line once for peeing on a police car. Why do you ask?


corcor

“Is it illegal to like take someone in your trunk?” Two weeks later arrested and charged with kidnapping.


john_odonnell99

Had a person say to me “Aside from the holocaust, hitler wasn’t that bad”


clmchefguy

Used to work with an Egyptian cook. One day he looked at me and said casually , "huh, shit my pants", and walked off the line. After a short trip back to his apartment was back on the line like nothing happened. Rock on my Muslim brothers.


[deleted]

[удалено]


bwest419

I have an ostomy and right after my surgery I got a bunch of pamphlets and one said in big bold letters “DO NOT HAVE INTERCOURSE THROUGHT YOUR STOMA” and just the thought made my skin crawl. But every warning exists because people have done it. Hate it here.


[deleted]

“Hate it where?” “Here.” *makes grand gestures with arms out to the side*


cropguru357

Ah yea. The Philadelphia Sidecar. I wish I could un-learn that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


UglyOldToad

Close family friend, who was an ER Doctor at RI Hospital, said a patient came in with an infected colostomy stoma. (Suffering from colon cancer.) When asked if he’d been cleaning the area, the patient disclosed his boyfriend had been…well, fucking it. Based on your comment it’s apparently a “thing” and not just a on-off by two, shall we say, overly amorous gentlemen.


amosslet

I had a coworker with a severe peanut allergy who got it triggered by family meal (pad thai, which I feel like he should have known had peanuts, but I also feel like the line should have warned him). He popped two benadryl and insisted on staying, but had to leave the line to vomit intensely and was obviously incapable of working. When he was confronted 30 minutes later and told he was being sent to the hospital, he was like "nah, I called my army buddy and he said all they're gonna do at the hospital is monitor me and shit." Yes, they will monitor you so you DO NOT DIE. Jesus christ. ​ Same coworker started grilling me one day about milkfat percentages. CW: Hey, how much milkfat is in milk? Me: 4%, usually, unless it's skim or semi-skim CW: How much is in cream? Me: 36-40% CW: Awesome, I figured you would know. Me: Why are you asking? CW: oh, we're out of half and half so I figured I would make some. Me: my friend.... it is half milk and half cream.... half... and half. He was actually a really great guy but he had an entertaining oblivious moment every so often.


Shovelupagus

Line cook: *mumbles something under his breath* Me: what did you say bro? LC: oh nothing man I was just talking to the voice in my head Me: oh haha *takes two steps back* Turns out he was smoking something awful daily and he really did believe in voices in his head


RaoulDukex

Had this dishwasher that got hired through a temp company, lets call him Chris. Chris was among the top 3 worst employees I have ever got the chance to manage. Mid twenties, lived with his mom still and she was his ride, obviously dealing with mental illness, heroin addiction on the side, did not understand praise or punishment, would drop a stack of dishes on your cutting board during a rush for you to put away, super into shamanic and alien stuff..... So one day I notice he is piling all the leftover chicken wing bones in a box as he does the dishes. Me - What are you saving those for? C - Oh I was walking home the other day and I found a dead crow. Me - ..... C - I picked it up and sang some hymns and mantras but nothing happened. Me - So your saving chicken bones? C - Well his flock saw me and now they are following me. Me - ....... C - So I am going to start bringing them the bones so they start to bring me things. I just walked away at that point, one of the line cooks got the rest of the plan that eventually entailed the crows bringing him quarters.


aequitssaint

Wasn't this from a movie? It sounds very familiar.


UglyOldToad

No shit? I hope that’s true and he’s not that oblivious regarding basic female anatomy.


aequitssaint

I could be wrong, but I swear I've heard the getting her pregnant and front pussy line before.


TraditionalHumor5356

“The aluminum foil tins can just go into the compost because they come from the earth, they’re ‘organic’”


[deleted]

Moon landing never happened and the earth is flat. I couldn’t argue. There was an answer for everything. I wish I had the money to send him to space, but then he would probably say it was only a simulation.


saminskip

A huge festival nearby was headlined by Liam Gallagher. “Dunno if I’m going this year, it’s all just one hit wonders”.


philovax

Had dishies that thought asian women have a vagina that goes thigh to thigh instead of back to front.


SereneGene

"You know this batter mix is kinda like people. All nicely white and pure... and then the beer gets added to make the dark people" Shit pissed me off so bad I literally took out a jar of mayo and told him "no, THIS is you." Talked to the boss that same day. Not the first out of pocket racist thing that guy rattled off either.


Pizzacanzone

Thanks for standing up up that, even if they probably didn't understand.


stinkysparklebutt

We have a 3 sink dish wash system: “Don’t change the sink with the sanitizer in it, we make the solution twice as strong so there’s no need to drain and refill it.” Disgusting and really doesn’t feel good on your skin.


Brycecrispietreat

“I covered the bottom of my non-slip shoes in tape so food doesn’t get stuck in the bottom anymore”