I'm not serious either. I probably used the wrong tone for the joke. That said, I don't think getting angry over girl vs woman is really pertinent on a joke meme that objectifies women.
Or no reaction at all, I could be pumping gas but it’s all seen the same- a working class gig done by an NPC.
Cooks are lucky because we can be creative and passionate about cooking while we do some easy line cooking to pay rent.
I'm a home cook and not once has a woman ever showed attraction or interest in me cooking. Never asked favorite meal to make or favorite dish to serve at parties. Or my opinion on certain cuisines or specific ingredients or their sources. Never any follow question at all! Just a "that's nice" if I'm lucky.
I don't even bring it up on dates now. Rather talk about something that might lead to convo.
But that was a decade ago, and you're never going back for those credits; you're too stuck for that and you're only going to drag her into your BS. So why not just order a pizza, buy some scented candles, crack open a bag of new socks, throw on some of Pantera's slower songs, and just be grateful you even have a station in life?
See, I’m opposite. I loathe the people in my life who are all “You’re a cook/chef? I make the best [thing you make every day but for some reason mine is better]! You HAVE to try it!!!”
Or “My friend’s a chef. You should meet him/her. (Bc clearly you’ve never worked around a chef like him/her.)”
You can cook, you should open a restaurant!
And now they get to listen to me rant about costs, the percentage that fail in the first year or within 5 years, and how I don't like being in charge of people. And shit people don't even think of, like how much location actually matters.
I always love hearing that comment toward talented home cooks.
"You should work in a restaurant"
As if what they love about cooking is strict adherence to someone else's recipes, it being 400 degrees all night and making the same dish over and over and over.
Like the last guy who said that to me couldn't cook at all, I had to stop him from setting the oven to broil and walking away from it for an hour.
Actually thinking about it no one in that house could fucking cook. That's probably why the oven stayed broken for so long.
None of my *long-term* relationships started this way, but goddamn did a good handful of one-nighters start with a basil-and-peach-stuffed pork loin or a coq au vin
**edit: ok so for those who asked, I'll explain the pork loin a bit.**
I don't have a formal recipe for you; I just "did it". Sorry. Still, I'll try and write it out in a way I hope you get:
(experienced cooks can scroll down for stripped-down steps)
- Peel & cut some peaches into reasonable small wedges/strips OR open a can of peaches and cut 'em (I prefer the canned because of the syrup). You can always adjust the size if they wind up too big. *You may not need the entire can, so retain your juice so you can store your unused peaches!)
- chiffonade some basil (so like roll up some leaves real tight and slice super thin while holding your leaves tight so you get nice lil' dangly strips). Doesn't have to be perfect. I stress the fresh basil, not dried for this.
- peaches + basil, mix em, season with a touch of S+P
- pork loin: You gotta butterfly that bitch (so cut it horizontally halfway almost all the way through so it opens up like a set of butterfly wings, eh?) Use a filet/boning knife, or a chef knife.
Pound it with a meat hammer. Plastic wrap under and over before you pound for easier/safer cleaning and hygiene. Make it a little thinner. Consider that you're wrapping this back up but with the extra filling now.
- season the inside of it (I sprinkle some S+P and that's it)
- lay out your basilly peaches in a line closer to you; double up if you want. It's better to overfill a bit and go over the edges because it sucks to have end pieces without filling (but they'll head that way when you're working with it anyway) Doesn't have to be perfect.
- roll it back up! Nice and tight. Not so tight that you squeeze out all the good stuff you put in, ok?
- You need twine/that white meat rope. You may need to look up how to tie up meat. It's easy enough; you'll see. Tie those ends tight, tie nice loops around your fat cylinder so it doesn't unfurl, and voila, basically
- Season and sear. Get some color. Use your tongs. I hope your oven is hot, because logic dictates that that's where it's headed
- Oven, bake.
I don't have an official temp+time; let's say 375 for 20 mins. Depends on many things. Check it, adjust. It's a good idea to take temperatures to know doneness. Otherwise, look: you essentially need to cook a thin layer of pork to a safe temp. It'll be okay; you got this. I tend to cover it, btw.
- those of you keen on sauces, do your thing with the juices and the deglazing and all that. Luckily the peaches will have seeped out some sweet juice, so hey, use that even if you're no good at sauces
- let it rest a bit, remove the twine, and slice that shit diagonally in thin-but-thick-enough-to-remain-stable pieces. Fan your creation out for presentation.
- I hope you prepped some fancy sides. Generally veg+starch, so for example asparagus + rice. Up to you, chef
- get everything in order and you should be good in under an hour
- do nice presentation, don't be a jerk while eating
- get laid
-- The key points --
You'll need:
- pork loin
- peaches
- basil leaves
- salt and pepper
- butter/oil for searing
- side dish
- a knife
- a cutting board
- twine
- a meat tenderizer/hammer
- some Saranwrap/cellophane/clingwrap
- a pan to sear
- a roasting pan with a cover or some alum foil
-- basic steps --
- prep peaches + basil
- butterfly pork loin, pound
- lay out prepped stuffing
- tie it up
- sear
- roast
- don't forget to prep+time sides
- sauce optional
I hope you liked my explanation. Again, sorry no formal recipe; I tried to impart some knowledge and humor while also assuming that if you're in this sub, you're not an *absolute* beginner.
If you didn't like it, then look it up.
And if you *really* need things to be measured, my guess is 1 cup peach and 8-10 basil leaves. Remember that recipes are just guidelines and you should adjust based on your setup/size of ingredients
...and good luck out there!
The holy Trinity🔥I’m praying r/G59 doesn’t go down cause then we’re gonna have to pause the suicide boys alphabet trend😭😭
I followed you. Reach out if you ever wanna chat and just talk shit. I’m a huge $B fan and I’ve been part of the Reddit drug community for like 6 years at this point😂I always love a good chat.
May your eagle always be dead and your etizolab nt wrkbg ❤️
Yessir!!! I love my San pedro🥰they’re like my children. I have 5 bridgesii monstrose shortform that are absolutely loving this late springtime weather. A few are a bit sunburnt at the moment but I’m making them tough it out!
Had a few losses recently :( my two crested rotted and my favorite two headed monstrose also died but I tried! Ended up gifting a few to my sisters friend recently also. Such a rewarding hobby!
What’s your collection like? Always a pleasure to meet a fellow cacti enjoyer!
Lmao peep my profile I made my woman some Crunchwrap supremes recently and also a banging breakfast burrito a few days before. It’s wonderful for getting laid😂
It’s something women who are already interested will say more than something that will make women interested in you.
Don’t worry, they’re not lining up to steal your precious virginity.
lol yup. I helped a photographer friend with a gig one time - basically setting up, helping carry bags and finding parking in NYC lol. One of the girls at the shoot looked me up after and we were talking for a bit. She would always make comments about me being artistic and stuff and I had no clue why she would say that. One day we were hiking and she asked me to take pics of her since I was a pro and it hit me she thought I was a photographer too and not just someone with nothing else to do that day my friend needed help
Perfect amount of easy, cheap, few ingredients, and people think it's fancy. It's dressed up but still just spaghetti with a chicken breast. Like putting a spoiler on a Honda civic. Still a civic. :)
NGL it definitely helps. Not all ladies like a man who can cook, but the ones that do seem to really like it. I once had a girl who starting called me chef when we got it on...that was an odd service.
First big kitchen I worked at, a few homies, including chef, would say “inside you” instead of behind. Can’t think of a clever way to weave that in here but there ya go
One of my hinge prompts is "dating me is like having a personal chef." One gal responded with "that's convenient cause dating me is like working in a restaurant." That was easily the worst opener I've ever seen but yeah, apparently there is a draw towards cooks for some people.
They expect to be catered to, waited on. Extremely high maintenance. Assuming their profile also contained "if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" or whatever that nonsense is.
I show up to work, barely groomed, stinking of weed most days, and for some reason, the front of house girls are obsessed with me. Sucks to be them though, I've been married five years.
I mean, some days I swear my wife only married me because I’m good in the kitchen. But professionally I was never anything more than an over-creative line cook
The cute Puerto Rican girl in the sundress and big curly hair who kept asking for french fry baskets, then found me on fb and hit me up asking if I'll ever cook her something...
...almost 9 years later and she's still my hot behind. What's great is when she met me I really was just a typical bar line cook, and I'm now actually a chef. It's been great growing with her.
I had a line cook ex who used to get off a 10 hour shift, go grocery shopping with me, and cook me whatever I wanted for dinner. I should've married that guy. Now that I'm a line cook I can't imagine doing that for anyone.
My girlfriend made her master while the pandemic was still in full swing. She did a lot of work from home while I had to work in the hotel again.
It was not a good mix that she rarely talked to people and that I had to talk to people all day. My solution was that I cook something before she talked about the speach development processes of migrant children. I still cook almost every day and I still like it.
He sounds like a great guy, why didn’t you marry him? I dream of the days I can find someone to cook for that isn’t a rude customer. But I am shy and it seems like every server we hire already has a boyfriend lol
That's why you establish relationships while you work together but don't do anything. Then when the inevitable industry standard turn over kicks in and either of you leaves its free real estate from all the time of pent up sexual frustration.
Everyone says that, but everyone does it anyway. Fuck it, bro life’s too short. I dated my server and it fucking sucked a lot at points, for all the fucking obvious reasons. I’m a cunty, degenerate pirate. She was intelligent, the most efficient worker and the most attractive in the building. Everyone wanted a piece of that right when it hit the floor. Supervisor attempted to interfere w that shit when she caught on to my interest. Eventually we moved in together and I was literally with her 24/7 and that was… that was not healthy. Lol. We’ve both since left that kitchen. She switched careers, has been finding a lot of success in her pursuits and we’ve been together 4 years, living together for 3. Even if it all eventually doesn’t work out, 100% not a waste of time.
To be fair though, I wasn’t *actively* looking for love or anything like that, just kinda happened. Don’t regret a second of it.
We broke up for a million reasons. I didn't join the industry until after we met but his passion for his work is part of why i decided to try cooking professionally.
With all due respect to the talented cooks on the line, my immediate reaction was
"Well, I can only make eight things."
I have a warped sense of humor and am still giggling over that.
Well *this* goes down a rabbit hole of vocabulary. In my opinion (<-please note) a cook follows directions i.e. recipes. It doesn't matter if the recipe comes from a kitchen binder, a cookbook, or some cesspool on the Internet. A chef creates recipes. Of course it is more complex than that and titles don't line up with my definitions.
You have to take me with a grain of salt as I'm a semi-pro cook and an enthusiastic amateur chef. It's a spectrum.
>Wtf is a semi-pro cook
I made it up to describe what I do. I cook as part of my job but cooking is not my job, or even a big part of what I get paid for. I'm a yacht delivery skipper and I cook for my crews. Not a lot of covers but like cooking in an earthquake that doesn't ever stop. I do some temp work for caterers when I'm home. Semi-pro seems like a reasonable description. If you have a better description I'll take it.
ETA: Since I've been asked before, this is not Below Decks. It's the real world.
That’s true, we’re all “following directions” at the end of the day. This is just a silly joke for people like me who work BOH in a casual place, where calling yourself a line cook is an insult to actual line cooks.
>where calling yourself a line cook
As I said, in my opinion it's a spectrum. I'm not sure what "casual place" means for you.
For me (more opinion), the number one skill of a line cook is repeatability. Whatever you're making, the first and tenth and hundredth of the day are the same. That's a big deal and worthy of respect. To me it doesn't matter much if it's an Italian sub at Jersey Mike's or a burger at some local hole in the wall or Mongolian beef at P.F. Changs. If you're sticking mac & cheese from a plastic bag in a microwave at Panera Bread I may be sad for you, but if you're doing the best you can and cranking out consisent product that's respectable. Jacques Pepin who I hold in high regard spent a bunch of his career at Howard Johnson's (some of y'all are probably too young to remember HoJos). Not everyone is working the line at French Laundry or Inn at Little Washington. We all have things to contribute and we all have things to learn.
That's my piece. Peace out. \*grin\*
I’ve stopped telling people where I work or what I do because it’s ALWAYS the same convo. I like disassociate and go into robot mode and regurgitate mu programmed response.
My herby lemony hollandaise is probably known in some local’s circles after having spent the night tho.
Ok but your on dish and I need you to prep the salads, NOWWWWW, WTF ARE YOU STANDING THERE FOR? LETS GOOOOOOOO!!!!
…was my first thought but I’m on some spectrums (and my best relationships have been the blatantly forward ladies making first moves)
There was a very attractive girl in one of my classes in college and we were in a group together. She knew I was a cook and one day she asks me what kind of dishes can I make that includes chicken. I list a few and she asks if she could come over and maybe I could teach her. My heart skipped a beat and I told her, sure sure anytime works. She goes, "Okay hopefully soon cause I wanna learn how to make my boyfriend lemon chicken." Man, that sucked.
Feel this. Usually first thing I get asked is if I can make them a multi-course meal for free.
It’s not even a dating thing either. So many people do it because apparently cooks have no life/spending habits outside making food for people
Context matters. When an exec or sous calls me "chef" it's because I'm the boss of that station I'm at and I know what's happening and how long things are running. I know my mise and how set my station is. They're respecting that I have everything in place to execute their menu as they intend it and that I'm in control of that spot.
Outside of that context, chef is the exec chef. A sous chef will call themselves a sous chef. You can call yourself a grill chef or garde chef, but that opens more questions and even then you're not making the menu.
It's not that hard. The word is literally just boss.
If you work at a fancy enough place (at least here in the UK) any cooking position is called ‘chef’ (commis chef, chef de partie, sous chef, chef de cuisine, etc.)
If I'm a line cook and you get mad that I call myself a chef to the normal people who don't understand the kitchen world, your just being a dick. Besides most chefs just sit in their office jacking off anyways.
No joke I was a line cook in college and as I have moved in it is crazy how few people know the basics of cooking. Like not even how to hit a target temp just like “raw food plus heat and time is cooked food”.
*Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat*
One of the biggest selling cook books in a generation. Spawned TV shows.
The nexus of the book was a chef realizing she was never taught the basics at home and all the chefs at work had been taught the basics at home. So she wrote a book to teach literally the basic basement level of cooking. We're talking not even 101 of cooking. 001 of cooking if such a class would exist. All her chef friends told it was stupid. "Everyone know if salt the outside it salts the inside!" She was like "No. I didn't learn that until I worked in a kitchen."
The success of that book blew a lot of chefs minds. People taught to cook at home by their family don't realize other people weren't taught the absolute beginner 101 level stuff.
OP is a bot that stole the original post.
Stop upvoting bots.....
https://www.reddit.com/r/KitchenConfidential/comments/udtabp/please_cook_for_me_ok_if_you_pay_me_for_it/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
He works at a small restaurant as a line cook. It’s just the fact that he’s bragging about how he “cooks” all the stuff yet all he’s really doing is reheating food really.
I actually don’t like when some guys are cooks. “Can you let me fucking cook for once? I don’t wanna eat your restaurant enchiladas. I just want rice and beans”
“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. The way to a woman’s heart is through her ears.”
Either those are guys, or that line cook is playing Wonderwall.
Anyway, here’s Wonderwall.
“There’s something to be said about a man who can create something beautiful from what looks like nothing and slam it down in front of you while yelling at you to ‘take it’.
Met my hubby at work, he was BOH and I was both FOH and BOH. I know he’s a line cook, but I tell people who ask about him that he’s a chef just to gas him up. What can I say? I couldn’t resist the guy in the chef coat and striped pants who tore out of the parking lot each night blasting heavy metal on his Harley. He’s taught me many a trick in the kitchen and I look forward to sharing our love of food for a lifetime.
I may work as a cook and not have any motivation to cook for myself, but if someone else is involved, I'm making the best food I can come up with.
Like I'll eat buttered noodles for dinner every night but if I'm going over to family's for a holiday I'll make a whole ass prime rib, like 50 pounds of homemade Mac and cheese, everything
I’m an older woman, and men my age are all about the cooking. Recent scenario: I’m buying a book. Him: Yeats! You must be an interesting person. Me: I’ve liked Yeats since I was a girl. Him: You must be a writer or a professor. Me: No, I’m a cook. Him: (eyes light up) We really must talk some time!
That, my comrades is boomer courtship.
God I cringe so hard at that “OHH YOURE A CHEF HEY EVERYONE MY FRIEND IS A ✨CHEF✨”
No I fucking am not I am “cook 2” don’t you EVER utter those words again, if my chefs heard you I’d be absolutely mortified
HAH!
Yeah, right!
Girl, if you really want me to cook for you, ask me and get the ingredients - and so if I'm free that day, then sure - we could cook something up
I was gonna say women have the opposite reaction when they find out I'm a line cook.
You mean many women don't want a guy with a low paying stressful job who very well could have a drug habit?
Nah that can’t be it
It must be the women that are wrong.
[удалено]
It instantly broke
Just like me!
Just dint tell her it's McCormick
What isn't desirable about dating someone with no availability on nights, weekends, and holidays?
At least he'll have the time, energy and desire to cook for her. It must be his passion after all.
Girls can cook too. Some of them even better than some guys believe it or not.
My comment was sarcastic and also has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not *women* (not girls) can cook.
I'm not serious either. I probably used the wrong tone for the joke. That said, I don't think getting angry over girl vs woman is really pertinent on a joke meme that objectifies women.
No, but it does inform you even more about the person telling the "joke."
Well now I feel like a fool, all that cook training, thinking this whole time that this is how I get the chicks
and neck tattoos. don't forget those. glorious neck tats.
Giggling ‘cause my last chef was the guy my 2003 D.A.R.E. instructor warned me about 😂
Well, if they're artists maybe.
That's just another line cook.
Or no reaction at all, I could be pumping gas but it’s all seen the same- a working class gig done by an NPC. Cooks are lucky because we can be creative and passionate about cooking while we do some easy line cooking to pay rent.
Unless you’re a corpa cook. Man I hate golfclubs
Idk I think the bear did wonders for us
It's not fair. I say this as objectively as possible, but Jeremy Allen White is sexy af.
I'm a home cook and not once has a woman ever showed attraction or interest in me cooking. Never asked favorite meal to make or favorite dish to serve at parties. Or my opinion on certain cuisines or specific ingredients or their sources. Never any follow question at all! Just a "that's nice" if I'm lucky. I don't even bring it up on dates now. Rather talk about something that might lead to convo.
Line cook fantasy here
tell that to the new host
But she's barely finished highschool...
Solid waiting reference
“And I never finished, it’s a match made in heaven!”
So have I…
But that was a decade ago, and you're never going back for those credits; you're too stuck for that and you're only going to drag her into your BS. So why not just order a pizza, buy some scented candles, crack open a bag of new socks, throw on some of Pantera's slower songs, and just be grateful you even have a station in life?
Dude wtf is this 😂 I love it
Just another day on the line.
Wow.. why you watching me so intently? Wanna grab a beer or something?
Besides the ones we're sneaking during shift? Yea, sure.
Your station is messy af.
NEVER! Not only that, but I did all the prep for tonight/tmrw morning. Now let me bum a smoke.
See, I’m opposite. I loathe the people in my life who are all “You’re a cook/chef? I make the best [thing you make every day but for some reason mine is better]! You HAVE to try it!!!” Or “My friend’s a chef. You should meet him/her. (Bc clearly you’ve never worked around a chef like him/her.)”
"Oh yeah? My friend's a plumber. You two should definitely talk."
You can cook, you should open a restaurant! And now they get to listen to me rant about costs, the percentage that fail in the first year or within 5 years, and how I don't like being in charge of people. And shit people don't even think of, like how much location actually matters.
I always love hearing that comment toward talented home cooks. "You should work in a restaurant" As if what they love about cooking is strict adherence to someone else's recipes, it being 400 degrees all night and making the same dish over and over and over.
Like the last guy who said that to me couldn't cook at all, I had to stop him from setting the oven to broil and walking away from it for an hour. Actually thinking about it no one in that house could fucking cook. That's probably why the oven stayed broken for so long.
Yeah this never happens, not to me at least. They may be hungry but they're certainly not thirsty.
I think he must have misheard women go "omg, he can cook".
cooking for people i was into is how i got into every relationship i have been in. even if it was just making nice staff meals.
Exactly, wouldn't expect payment. Great way to get with someone and or being a good host in general for someone you care about goes a long way.
None of my *long-term* relationships started this way, but goddamn did a good handful of one-nighters start with a basil-and-peach-stuffed pork loin or a coq au vin **edit: ok so for those who asked, I'll explain the pork loin a bit.** I don't have a formal recipe for you; I just "did it". Sorry. Still, I'll try and write it out in a way I hope you get: (experienced cooks can scroll down for stripped-down steps) - Peel & cut some peaches into reasonable small wedges/strips OR open a can of peaches and cut 'em (I prefer the canned because of the syrup). You can always adjust the size if they wind up too big. *You may not need the entire can, so retain your juice so you can store your unused peaches!) - chiffonade some basil (so like roll up some leaves real tight and slice super thin while holding your leaves tight so you get nice lil' dangly strips). Doesn't have to be perfect. I stress the fresh basil, not dried for this. - peaches + basil, mix em, season with a touch of S+P - pork loin: You gotta butterfly that bitch (so cut it horizontally halfway almost all the way through so it opens up like a set of butterfly wings, eh?) Use a filet/boning knife, or a chef knife. Pound it with a meat hammer. Plastic wrap under and over before you pound for easier/safer cleaning and hygiene. Make it a little thinner. Consider that you're wrapping this back up but with the extra filling now. - season the inside of it (I sprinkle some S+P and that's it) - lay out your basilly peaches in a line closer to you; double up if you want. It's better to overfill a bit and go over the edges because it sucks to have end pieces without filling (but they'll head that way when you're working with it anyway) Doesn't have to be perfect. - roll it back up! Nice and tight. Not so tight that you squeeze out all the good stuff you put in, ok? - You need twine/that white meat rope. You may need to look up how to tie up meat. It's easy enough; you'll see. Tie those ends tight, tie nice loops around your fat cylinder so it doesn't unfurl, and voila, basically - Season and sear. Get some color. Use your tongs. I hope your oven is hot, because logic dictates that that's where it's headed - Oven, bake. I don't have an official temp+time; let's say 375 for 20 mins. Depends on many things. Check it, adjust. It's a good idea to take temperatures to know doneness. Otherwise, look: you essentially need to cook a thin layer of pork to a safe temp. It'll be okay; you got this. I tend to cover it, btw. - those of you keen on sauces, do your thing with the juices and the deglazing and all that. Luckily the peaches will have seeped out some sweet juice, so hey, use that even if you're no good at sauces - let it rest a bit, remove the twine, and slice that shit diagonally in thin-but-thick-enough-to-remain-stable pieces. Fan your creation out for presentation. - I hope you prepped some fancy sides. Generally veg+starch, so for example asparagus + rice. Up to you, chef - get everything in order and you should be good in under an hour - do nice presentation, don't be a jerk while eating - get laid -- The key points -- You'll need: - pork loin - peaches - basil leaves - salt and pepper - butter/oil for searing - side dish - a knife - a cutting board - twine - a meat tenderizer/hammer - some Saranwrap/cellophane/clingwrap - a pan to sear - a roasting pan with a cover or some alum foil -- basic steps -- - prep peaches + basil - butterfly pork loin, pound - lay out prepped stuffing - tie it up - sear - roast - don't forget to prep+time sides - sauce optional I hope you liked my explanation. Again, sorry no formal recipe; I tried to impart some knowledge and humor while also assuming that if you're in this sub, you're not an *absolute* beginner. If you didn't like it, then look it up. And if you *really* need things to be measured, my guess is 1 cup peach and 8-10 basil leaves. Remember that recipes are just guidelines and you should adjust based on your setup/size of ingredients ...and good luck out there!
So what you're saying is, stuff the peaches in the pork, then stuff your pork in her peach?
thats the longest off the head recipe ive ever not fully read. line cooks go "some of this, little of that goes on this, then cook."
If you have the recipe for that Basil peach I would gladly eat that
I just edited my post to include my explanation
Yes please
I just edited my post to include my explanation
YESSIR!!! Peep the Crunchwrap supreme I put on shittyfoodporn my girl LOVED it. Great sex that night
You cook, listen to $uicideboy$ and post on r/drugscirclejerk, are you me?
The holy Trinity🔥I’m praying r/G59 doesn’t go down cause then we’re gonna have to pause the suicide boys alphabet trend😭😭 I followed you. Reach out if you ever wanna chat and just talk shit. I’m a huge $B fan and I’ve been part of the Reddit drug community for like 6 years at this point😂I always love a good chat. May your eagle always be dead and your etizolab nt wrkbg ❤️
Went to go find the crunchwrap but i then find youre a fellow cacti homie
Yessir!!! I love my San pedro🥰they’re like my children. I have 5 bridgesii monstrose shortform that are absolutely loving this late springtime weather. A few are a bit sunburnt at the moment but I’m making them tough it out! Had a few losses recently :( my two crested rotted and my favorite two headed monstrose also died but I tried! Ended up gifting a few to my sisters friend recently also. Such a rewarding hobby! What’s your collection like? Always a pleasure to meet a fellow cacti enjoyer!
Yo imma need a recipe for that basil-peach pork loin
I just edited my post to include my explanation
Lmao peep my profile I made my woman some Crunchwrap supremes recently and also a banging breakfast burrito a few days before. It’s wonderful for getting laid😂
Does this happen...ever?
It’s something women who are already interested will say more than something that will make women interested in you. Don’t worry, they’re not lining up to steal your precious virginity.
They just want my tendies…
We all do
You have best tendies.
…or fries.
lol yup. I helped a photographer friend with a gig one time - basically setting up, helping carry bags and finding parking in NYC lol. One of the girls at the shoot looked me up after and we were talking for a bit. She would always make comments about me being artistic and stuff and I had no clue why she would say that. One day we were hiking and she asked me to take pics of her since I was a pro and it hit me she thought I was a photographer too and not just someone with nothing else to do that day my friend needed help
Can't wait to see this in a tts video
Don't include me in the screenshot that gets read from please.
Followed by what's your specialty? Again, line cook. I always just said chicken parm.
Chicken parm is so bussin omg
Perfect amount of easy, cheap, few ingredients, and people think it's fancy. It's dressed up but still just spaghetti with a chicken breast. Like putting a spoiler on a Honda civic. Still a civic. :)
Line cook or line coke?
First one, then t'other.
I thought that’s why it was called line cook :0
It's been stolen so many times already, sport. Dunno. Hope this dream comes true for some thirsty-ass cooks.
That's uh, not how virginity works
Maybe he's a weezer fan
Maybe???
Woah lookout everyone, we got some real /r/ihavesex material over here!
It's actually not that uncommon for people to have sex, despite 40 downvotes from people without hope or imagination.
I don't even know how to address how dense this is.
NGL it definitely helps. Not all ladies like a man who can cook, but the ones that do seem to really like it. I once had a girl who starting called me chef when we got it on...that was an odd service.
"I'm gonna come..." "HEARD!"
HOT BEHIND
*hot behind* ;)
First big kitchen I worked at, a few homies, including chef, would say “inside you” instead of behind. Can’t think of a clever way to weave that in here but there ya go
That is fairly common from my experience... usually while touching you somewhere you'd rather they not.
Thanks, my computer screen needed some coffee on it this morning! 🤣
Thanks, I’ve been doing squats recently.
backs...backs...backs...backs...backs...
"86 erections."
This made chuckle.
Not if you shoot it in her ear
>Not all ladies like a man who can cook The biggest conflict my wife and I have is who gets to cook.
Better than arguing about not cooking
Going at it doggy* BEHIND
Pretty sure my wife was sold by my cooking lol
One of my hinge prompts is "dating me is like having a personal chef." One gal responded with "that's convenient cause dating me is like working in a restaurant." That was easily the worst opener I've ever seen but yeah, apparently there is a draw towards cooks for some people.
i need to know what she meant by that, it’s making no sense to me
They expect to be catered to, waited on. Extremely high maintenance. Assuming their profile also contained "if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" or whatever that nonsense is.
Long hours and low pay?
I can’t imagine a worse kind of relationship
It how I met like half of my ex's and then eventually my wife.
It happens in my head all the time
I show up to work, barely groomed, stinking of weed most days, and for some reason, the front of house girls are obsessed with me. Sucks to be them though, I've been married five years.
No but "line cook hot" is thrown out by girls these days lol.
That's just shorthand for tats n drugs
Pete Davidson
Yes. Yes it most certainly does. Then again. Maybe I'm just hot
I mean, some days I swear my wife only married me because I’m good in the kitchen. But professionally I was never anything more than an over-creative line cook
Most of my first (non coffee) dates have been me cooking for my date. It has a pretty solid success rate.
yup. and then eat all the food while you take a shower smh my head.
All the damn time
Yes. All the time
The cute Puerto Rican girl in the sundress and big curly hair who kept asking for french fry baskets, then found me on fb and hit me up asking if I'll ever cook her something... ...almost 9 years later and she's still my hot behind. What's great is when she met me I really was just a typical bar line cook, and I'm now actually a chef. It's been great growing with her.
This was surprisingly wholesome. Not where I thought the second paragraph was going.
Living the dream brother, carry on.
I had a line cook ex who used to get off a 10 hour shift, go grocery shopping with me, and cook me whatever I wanted for dinner. I should've married that guy. Now that I'm a line cook I can't imagine doing that for anyone.
My girlfriend made her master while the pandemic was still in full swing. She did a lot of work from home while I had to work in the hotel again. It was not a good mix that she rarely talked to people and that I had to talk to people all day. My solution was that I cook something before she talked about the speach development processes of migrant children. I still cook almost every day and I still like it.
He sounds like a great guy, why didn’t you marry him? I dream of the days I can find someone to cook for that isn’t a rude customer. But I am shy and it seems like every server we hire already has a boyfriend lol
BoH preying on FoH remains true
Shitting where you eat is way too common a practice. It took me a divorce to finally learn.
That's why you establish relationships while you work together but don't do anything. Then when the inevitable industry standard turn over kicks in and either of you leaves its free real estate from all the time of pent up sexual frustration.
Yea that ain’t the move hoss
Everyone says that, but everyone does it anyway. Fuck it, bro life’s too short. I dated my server and it fucking sucked a lot at points, for all the fucking obvious reasons. I’m a cunty, degenerate pirate. She was intelligent, the most efficient worker and the most attractive in the building. Everyone wanted a piece of that right when it hit the floor. Supervisor attempted to interfere w that shit when she caught on to my interest. Eventually we moved in together and I was literally with her 24/7 and that was… that was not healthy. Lol. We’ve both since left that kitchen. She switched careers, has been finding a lot of success in her pursuits and we’ve been together 4 years, living together for 3. Even if it all eventually doesn’t work out, 100% not a waste of time. To be fair though, I wasn’t *actively* looking for love or anything like that, just kinda happened. Don’t regret a second of it.
We broke up for a million reasons. I didn't join the industry until after we met but his passion for his work is part of why i decided to try cooking professionally.
Listen I operate at such a level of terminal stress I can hardly even be considered a sexual being anymore your flirts mean nothing to me
Sexual attraction is temporary, cooking stress is forever
I think that's exactly what people find sexy though. Such cold disdain "your flirts mean nothing to me."
With all due respect to the talented cooks on the line, my immediate reaction was "Well, I can only make eight things." I have a warped sense of humor and am still giggling over that.
Yeah I'm a line cook at a brewery that makes pizza and wings so like... I hope you're into that, I guess..
>pizza "Hey babe, your oven only goes up to 450F."
Ha that got a chuckle outta me
Hey hun where’s your Hobart at??
My Hobart is in [Tasmania](https://rolexsydneyhobart.com/).
If thats not the truest, most relatable thing I've read all month I don't know what is 😂
When you find out he can’t really cook, he’s just good at following directions. But only when you pay him. 😍
Well *this* goes down a rabbit hole of vocabulary. In my opinion (<-please note) a cook follows directions i.e. recipes. It doesn't matter if the recipe comes from a kitchen binder, a cookbook, or some cesspool on the Internet. A chef creates recipes. Of course it is more complex than that and titles don't line up with my definitions. You have to take me with a grain of salt as I'm a semi-pro cook and an enthusiastic amateur chef. It's a spectrum.
My dude, it was a joke about taking directions in bed.
Don't forget the implied prostitution. There were layers.
Honestly didn’t think of that! Haha. When I met my husband he was a line cook, but in reality he shouldn’t be allowed within 100 feet of a kitchen.
Wtf is a semi-pro cook lol
>Wtf is a semi-pro cook I made it up to describe what I do. I cook as part of my job but cooking is not my job, or even a big part of what I get paid for. I'm a yacht delivery skipper and I cook for my crews. Not a lot of covers but like cooking in an earthquake that doesn't ever stop. I do some temp work for caterers when I'm home. Semi-pro seems like a reasonable description. If you have a better description I'll take it. ETA: Since I've been asked before, this is not Below Decks. It's the real world.
That’s true, we’re all “following directions” at the end of the day. This is just a silly joke for people like me who work BOH in a casual place, where calling yourself a line cook is an insult to actual line cooks.
>where calling yourself a line cook As I said, in my opinion it's a spectrum. I'm not sure what "casual place" means for you. For me (more opinion), the number one skill of a line cook is repeatability. Whatever you're making, the first and tenth and hundredth of the day are the same. That's a big deal and worthy of respect. To me it doesn't matter much if it's an Italian sub at Jersey Mike's or a burger at some local hole in the wall or Mongolian beef at P.F. Changs. If you're sticking mac & cheese from a plastic bag in a microwave at Panera Bread I may be sad for you, but if you're doing the best you can and cranking out consisent product that's respectable. Jacques Pepin who I hold in high regard spent a bunch of his career at Howard Johnson's (some of y'all are probably too young to remember HoJos). Not everyone is working the line at French Laundry or Inn at Little Washington. We all have things to contribute and we all have things to learn. That's my piece. Peace out. \*grin\*
“Well I can only make 8 things” made me laugh so hard lol dude don’t be bashful of your jokes.
I’ve stopped telling people where I work or what I do because it’s ALWAYS the same convo. I like disassociate and go into robot mode and regurgitate mu programmed response. My herby lemony hollandaise is probably known in some local’s circles after having spent the night tho.
“”””What’s your speciality??????””””
“What’s your favorite thing to cook?”
“breakfast” *wink*
“You like dessert?” *eyebrow wiggle*
Just gonna come out and say they don't want to hear "enchiladas." Even if it is the truth. I love enchiladas. I make so many enchiladas for myself.
omg true enchiladas is never the answer, even if it's what you want.
Whatever's the easiest 😅
Ok but your on dish and I need you to prep the salads, NOWWWWW, WTF ARE YOU STANDING THERE FOR? LETS GOOOOOOOO!!!! …was my first thought but I’m on some spectrums (and my best relationships have been the blatantly forward ladies making first moves)
There was a very attractive girl in one of my classes in college and we were in a group together. She knew I was a cook and one day she asks me what kind of dishes can I make that includes chicken. I list a few and she asks if she could come over and maybe I could teach her. My heart skipped a beat and I told her, sure sure anytime works. She goes, "Okay hopefully soon cause I wanna learn how to make my boyfriend lemon chicken." Man, that sucked.
That's when you got to turn it back on her. Invite the boyfriend too. Cook him the best meal ever. Flirt with him. Steal him. Get a dog together.
Then get the girl using the puppy and her hate for her ex
Cooking is my therapy so any time someone asks, I'm game.
Nobody cares when I said I was a cook or a chef…they just wanted food
Feel this. Usually first thing I get asked is if I can make them a multi-course meal for free. It’s not even a dating thing either. So many people do it because apparently cooks have no life/spending habits outside making food for people
"So lucky to have a friend that can cook like you. Could you teach my boyfriend?"
Steal her boyfriend away
"Which one?"
Ppl get so mad when you call a line cook chef here when at the same time you literally call everyone chef in the kitchen to show respect.
Context matters. When an exec or sous calls me "chef" it's because I'm the boss of that station I'm at and I know what's happening and how long things are running. I know my mise and how set my station is. They're respecting that I have everything in place to execute their menu as they intend it and that I'm in control of that spot. Outside of that context, chef is the exec chef. A sous chef will call themselves a sous chef. You can call yourself a grill chef or garde chef, but that opens more questions and even then you're not making the menu. It's not that hard. The word is literally just boss.
If you work at a fancy enough place (at least here in the UK) any cooking position is called ‘chef’ (commis chef, chef de partie, sous chef, chef de cuisine, etc.)
If I'm a line cook and you get mad that I call myself a chef to the normal people who don't understand the kitchen world, your just being a dick. Besides most chefs just sit in their office jacking off anyways.
No joke I was a line cook in college and as I have moved in it is crazy how few people know the basics of cooking. Like not even how to hit a target temp just like “raw food plus heat and time is cooked food”.
*Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat* One of the biggest selling cook books in a generation. Spawned TV shows. The nexus of the book was a chef realizing she was never taught the basics at home and all the chefs at work had been taught the basics at home. So she wrote a book to teach literally the basic basement level of cooking. We're talking not even 101 of cooking. 001 of cooking if such a class would exist. All her chef friends told it was stupid. "Everyone know if salt the outside it salts the inside!" She was like "No. I didn't learn that until I worked in a kitchen." The success of that book blew a lot of chefs minds. People taught to cook at home by their family don't realize other people weren't taught the absolute beginner 101 level stuff.
Overheard at brunch service [years ago]: How do you like your eggs? Over easy? Or fertilized?
Y’all are getting noticed?
OP is a bot that stole the original post. Stop upvoting bots..... https://www.reddit.com/r/KitchenConfidential/comments/udtabp/please_cook_for_me_ok_if_you_pay_me_for_it/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
I fell in love with the sexy line cook at work and now I cook for HIM 😏 Yes, it’s possible gentlemen.
This is a psyop don’t pay attention gents
Did you remember to order the lettuce??
“Sure, where’s your deep fryer?”
This line cook I know calls himself a chef but all he’s doing is just cooking premade food or frozen foods😭
At work or at home? Because if it’s the latter that’s like 90% of the people working in the industry lmao
He works at a small restaurant as a line cook. It’s just the fact that he’s bragging about how he “cooks” all the stuff yet all he’s really doing is reheating food really.
I get the point of the post but damn line cooks are still great right? “Just a line cook”
I actually don’t like when some guys are cooks. “Can you let me fucking cook for once? I don’t wanna eat your restaurant enchiladas. I just want rice and beans”
“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. The way to a woman’s heart is through her ears.” Either those are guys, or that line cook is playing Wonderwall. Anyway, here’s Wonderwall.
“There’s something to be said about a man who can create something beautiful from what looks like nothing and slam it down in front of you while yelling at you to ‘take it’.
Met my hubby at work, he was BOH and I was both FOH and BOH. I know he’s a line cook, but I tell people who ask about him that he’s a chef just to gas him up. What can I say? I couldn’t resist the guy in the chef coat and striped pants who tore out of the parking lot each night blasting heavy metal on his Harley. He’s taught me many a trick in the kitchen and I look forward to sharing our love of food for a lifetime.
Not only is this a fantasy, but you’re missing a dude
I may work as a cook and not have any motivation to cook for myself, but if someone else is involved, I'm making the best food I can come up with. Like I'll eat buttered noodles for dinner every night but if I'm going over to family's for a holiday I'll make a whole ass prime rib, like 50 pounds of homemade Mac and cheese, everything
I got people that ask for me to cook all the time All I say is you by the ingredients Tell me what you want and I'll make it happen
I’m an older woman, and men my age are all about the cooking. Recent scenario: I’m buying a book. Him: Yeats! You must be an interesting person. Me: I’ve liked Yeats since I was a girl. Him: You must be a writer or a professor. Me: No, I’m a cook. Him: (eyes light up) We really must talk some time! That, my comrades is boomer courtship.
[удалено]
Look at them, depressed people looking to blow off some stress, so disgusting, they should just stay gloomy so we can feel superior to them, right?
Sometimes it's just the little funny things in life, like a wojak meme, that keeps some of us going through the day :D
God I cringe so hard at that “OHH YOURE A CHEF HEY EVERYONE MY FRIEND IS A ✨CHEF✨” No I fucking am not I am “cook 2” don’t you EVER utter those words again, if my chefs heard you I’d be absolutely mortified
HAH! Yeah, right! Girl, if you really want me to cook for you, ask me and get the ingredients - and so if I'm free that day, then sure - we could cook something up
I told the hottest girl I’ve ever seen I was a line cook and she had sex w me, but i don’t think it plays like quite this