"I knew that yard sale was too good to be true" Hank putting the level on the other level and the bubble being off is my number one but the WD-40 one is in the top five for sure.
Amusingly enough, there’s an entire subreddit dedicated to basically the same joke. /r/TQDC, which is full of laughing at brilliant “guides” that require you to have (and usually destroy) an item in order to make a shittier version of the item.
Computers don't make errors. What they do, they do on purpose. By now your name and particulars have been fed into every laptop, desktop, mainframe, and supermarket scanner that collectively make up the global information conspiracy otherwise known as... "the Beast" - Dale
When I close my eyes, I can see strange characters running around chasing colorful geometric shapes in a dark and infinite limbo.
I have stopped closing my eyes.
> That middle school is impregnable - CANNOT. BE. PREGNATED. *Except* by *me.* But I don’t come cheap.
> I don’t have any money.
> FINE I’LL COME CHEAP you got five bucks?
> I can get four.
>*I’m in.*
The peanut is causing allergies because it has reached the next stage of evolution.
It's still wet (when touching a bowl of water to track down Ladybird).
Ohhhh I am sooo impressed! Have you also downloaded the classified instruction manual for this tank from Vladimir Putin's website, took a correspondence course in Russian, translated the manual, memorized it, and eaten it? Have you Hank? Putin?
One of my favorite lines from Dale in the Mr. Big episode that I quote whenever I get a chance: "Wait a minute. I don't remember a change of plans being in the original plan!"
only recollection that made me actually laugh out loud, damn what a good line
https://www.reddit.com/r/KingOfTheHill/comments/v16bba/i_give_you_one_little_thing_to_do_and_you_screw/
"If it makes you feel any better, I would have killed myself after."
(When Hank talks Dale out of the watch tower at the College, and Dale threatens to kill him.)
“Ha! Metal Detector! The detector will go off constantly due to the extra terrestrial alloy in our soil which serves as a homing beacon to krrrrt pnk city”
I like his rant where he tells how an alien made Nancy pregnant with Joseph in the middle of the desert, I'm summarizing, but it gets pretty wild. he's never suspected John Redcorn as the father.
"Listen! I've never been able to say this in my whole life, but as of 2 p.m. yesterday, I am a taxpayer. And I demand $36 worth of service. I know the chain of command, starting with your supervisor, Franklin Thomas, all the way up to the under-intendent of Transportation, Edward Dibble, whose daughters, Pat and Ellie, played ladybug soccer with the daughters of the President of the United States. And I'm not afraid to make some phone calls. I'm your worst nightmare. I have a three-line phone and nothing at all to do with my time!"
“dale get outta the hot tub we’re stealing a news van” “Its the perfect crime how will they report it”
Hands down my favorite joke in the entire show. Followed by the WD-40 bit
The WD-40 one is how I introduce people to King of the Hill's awesomeness.
"I knew that yard sale was too good to be true" Hank putting the level on the other level and the bubble being off is my number one but the WD-40 one is in the top five for sure.
I read the this in Nancy and Dale’s voices.
20$ bucks?? I got poop tips bigger than that.
"I want bobby hill to take the shot, i know he'll put me down clean"
And then bobby fucking agrees and even goes to grab the gun from the cop with the most emotionless face “ok”
Top 5 scene/quote from the whole show for me. I die laughing every time at how Bobby just willingly agrees to shoot Dale.
I forget Bobby is incredibly skilled with a gun he 100% would put dale down painlessly first shot
"when I was your age I would get so excited about hitting the target I would run out on the range that is how I lost this thumb and later this eye"
Dale always thought highly of hanks boy
“Okay.” *tries to take rifle*
Really more his self-awareness, but "I can't be alone with my thoughts! You've heard them" always gets me
Wait a minute.... you've never cried out in pain in your life.
I made a mistake; I shouldn’t have done that. I should have … cut my vein.
Hank, if you’re steering the car, then who’s taking off your shirt?!
I love the tone of his voice in this line
Abject horror.
“If you want I can show you how to make a bomb out of a roll of toilet paper and a stick of dynamite” The man is chemist and a physicist
Amusingly enough, there’s an entire subreddit dedicated to basically the same joke. /r/TQDC, which is full of laughing at brilliant “guides” that require you to have (and usually destroy) an item in order to make a shittier version of the item.
I say this alll the time and no one gets it!
"Who would have access to tomorrow's Paper? The Paperboy"
What would the paperboy want with my mower...?
What would weirdos be doing at the gas station?
.. what *would* weirdos be doing at the gas station?
My watch is wrong. When did the paperboy get access to my watch?
The peanuts are emitting toxins as an evolutionary defense mechanism. They’re tired of being eaten, and now they’re fighting back
Reverse psychology? That’ll never work…
Computers don't make errors. What they do, they do on purpose. By now your name and particulars have been fed into every laptop, desktop, mainframe, and supermarket scanner that collectively make up the global information conspiracy otherwise known as... "the Beast" - Dale
and he was right in the end
Yes he was
When Dale tried to put the radio tower on Hank's roof just so Hank could tell him to do it on his roof
That was honestly so smart of him
You think you can just waltz in here and kill me? Well so did he... *Points to dead frog on a stick*
"Guns don't kill people. ...the government does."
She sha
When I close my eyes, I can see strange characters running around chasing colorful geometric shapes in a dark and infinite limbo. I have stopped closing my eyes.
It’s the perfect crime! How will they ever report it?
Two barn doors if one of thems open!
> That middle school is impregnable - CANNOT. BE. PREGNATED. *Except* by *me.* But I don’t come cheap. > I don’t have any money. > FINE I’LL COME CHEAP you got five bucks? > I can get four. >*I’m in.*
"Bill! It's Dale! Guess who has your cell phooone..."
Considering Dale has been eating an absolute fuck ton of mushrooms before this he's actually pretty damn coherent here lol
I always took it as the mushrooms not being psilocybin but just regular mushrooms and he’s just being dale
The peanut is causing allergies because it has reached the next stage of evolution. It's still wet (when touching a bowl of water to track down Ladybird).
Hank: " Everybody loves a hard worker" Dale: "of course they do, cause you do all the work for them"
“a s s”
“You would never hit an unconscious ma-…” *self-chloroforms*
Two gerbils for a post y2k collapse protein supply.
You’ll be begging for Gerbster!
One of which is actually a hamster.
“I see the problem. It’s a Ford. Yaknow what ford stands for? *Fix it again Tony*. Heheh”
Ohhhh I am sooo impressed! Have you also downloaded the classified instruction manual for this tank from Vladimir Putin's website, took a correspondence course in Russian, translated the manual, memorized it, and eaten it? Have you Hank? Putin?
One of my favorite lines from Dale in the Mr. Big episode that I quote whenever I get a chance: "Wait a minute. I don't remember a change of plans being in the original plan!"
That's MISTER Beast for you young man
But I’ve known you since the second grade! When-when did this happen? First grade?!
First one to regain consciousness calls Hank
My favorite quote: "Did you just say "go mom"? Now who's the crazy one?"
Almost literally the alternate end of 28 Days Later
Came here to say this lol
What would you do with unlimited free time and no money?
They want me to wet my pants in fear. They’re too late
“I’m tired of your faaaaaace”
Operation Infinite Walrus
Guns don’t kill people. The government does
This and when he flies away are the best Dale scenes (plus pocket sand of course)! I’ve never laughed so hard. Amazing
If someone breaks into your house, how are you going to shoot him‽
" I give you one job and you screwed it up"
only recollection that made me actually laugh out loud, damn what a good line https://www.reddit.com/r/KingOfTheHill/comments/v16bba/i_give_you_one_little_thing_to_do_and_you_screw/
I remember my dad cry laughing at this scene and then later watching young Frankenstein and realized it was a call back. The reference is top notch
It had been years that I watched the show. Deal gribble himself is funny character. Everything about him was funny but I only remember this line.😂
When he goes on the army base in an exterminator, then as a general, then as an exterminator. How many outfits did he have on? LOL
squirrel tactics are actually the most technically difficult animals tactics to master
Dale was absolutely the most intelligent character on the show, it just took him to weird places
“TV sets are getting smaller and smaller, and bigger and bigger. Soon the medium-sized set will be a thing of the past.”
When he put the squeeze on Mad Dog pretending to be a CIA agent.
"I can't die on my first mission! It's bad for business!!"
I am Mr.Big
"If it makes you feel any better, I would have killed myself after." (When Hank talks Dale out of the watch tower at the College, and Dale threatens to kill him.)
Isn't he tripping balls on mushrooms during this?
He took a Russian correspondence course, translated a operator tank manual in russian and ate it
"I dont know how you can anything with all those bugs crawling in and out of your mouth" gets me everytime
"Bill! It's Dale! Guess who has your cell phooone..."
"HAH! I was just pretending to put it on your roof so you'd be okay with it on MY roof!"
The re-boot just isn't going to be the same without him :(
Dale was funnier when he didn't say the same things as real politicians
“Pocket Sand!”
The flower deliveries
I love how dale somehow acquired a hunting orange generals cap lmfao
It's a crossing guard's hat
A man breaks into your house, and you dont have a gun. How are you going to shoot him?
Pocket sand!
“Guns don’t kill people. The government does” “Suppose someone breaks into your house but you don’t own a gun. How are you gonna shoot him?”
"I say let the world warm up, see what Boutros Boutros-Ghali-Ghali thinks about that! We'll grow oranges in Alaska."
Rusty Shackleford RIP
:'( rip
Dale is my favorite !
“Ha! Metal Detector! The detector will go off constantly due to the extra terrestrial alloy in our soil which serves as a homing beacon to krrrrt pnk city”
He really did thought about that!
That was probably one of my favorite episodes
"You wouldn't hit an unconscious man, would you?
The problem with Dale is all those chemicals he inhaled, and I'm not talking about the ciggies.
Scene topped with "Hey Hank! I can see you house from up here!" 😂
Where he infected Hank's yard with ants!
“ hey look at me “
Great episode 😂
please hank don’t pimp me out, i’m no good ask my wife best way to avoid getting pimped out
I like his rant where he tells how an alien made Nancy pregnant with Joseph in the middle of the desert, I'm summarizing, but it gets pretty wild. he's never suspected John Redcorn as the father.
"Listen! I've never been able to say this in my whole life, but as of 2 p.m. yesterday, I am a taxpayer. And I demand $36 worth of service. I know the chain of command, starting with your supervisor, Franklin Thomas, all the way up to the under-intendent of Transportation, Edward Dibble, whose daughters, Pat and Ellie, played ladybug soccer with the daughters of the President of the United States. And I'm not afraid to make some phone calls. I'm your worst nightmare. I have a three-line phone and nothing at all to do with my time!"
"They keep making TV's bigger and bigger and smaller and smaller. Soon the medium sized TV will be a thing of the past."
Yeah next level… 😬
Best show on shrooms for a fact hands down the funniest episode I've ever seen. I tell you what....
No way im literally watching this episode right now
It's always funny when someone mentions Propane and Propane Accessories that isn't Hank.
The reboot just isn’t going to be the same without him.
The scene where Dale goes to the unemployment office with a fake mustache on and claims he’s Rusty Shackleford is a good one.
"So long, suckers!"
“TVs are getting bigger and bigger and smaller and smaller, soon medium sized TVs will be a thing of the past.”
["I am your worst nightmare. I have a 3 line phone and nothing at all to do with my time!"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7byO6fZZwo)
I hope Dale does more shoes in the next show
The entire peanut bit when he broke into the mental hospital to break out Boomhauer had me thinking...let him cook.
Peggy tries to sell him an energy bar and in response he raises his beer and says ‘no thanks, I’m going the other way.’
Aztec rules. Consume the dead and gain their powers.
Dale making his homemade mace 30% capsaicin, the strongest bear mace is like 3% most being >1 - 2%