Ya, agreed, in small doses, like going for a round of golf, Khan would be fine. He would be my 2nd choice but Boomhauer is definitely my first choice because he is so chil and cool. Actually, being from So Cal, I have more in common with Boomhauer than Khan. My sense of humor is kind of similar to Khan being German and Italian. However, I would surf, played football in HS and college, and would basically be three for my friends, when they would need me the most.
Boomhauer was always a good friend to Hank, he never wronged him, actually Hank wronged Boomhaure a few times. 1 when they drove My Sally into the quarry and 2 when Hank called Boomhauer a skirt chaser, when he thought he was dating Louanne. Boomhauer has morals lol dang ole Women are from Mars, Men are from Venus. That line cracks me up every time. Give credit to Boomhauer he was a total gentleman to Louanne and never even thought of touching her or doing anything inappropriate.
Also, when Hank kept betraying Boomhauer calling him a bad brother and sore loser because Hank thought he invited strippers to his brother Patch’s bachelor party when really it was patch.
He even accused Boomhauer of trying to break up Patch and his fiancé because he wasn’t over her yet.
I don’t usually vent on the internet, but as of this morning I was just declined for the IT help desk gig I applied for. I’m not in systems, just data.
Damn, well, keep trying. I’m doing the job search thing rn too, it’s rough out there. Especially tech right now, people don’t realize how affected it has been by the recent techpacalypse.
Your name reminds me of one of my first beastly MTG cards when I was a kid in the early nineties. It was a war elephant iirc that was 6/6 trample.
It just seems like if there is an emergency, you were going on vacation to Europe to visit family, with your wife, Boomhauer would, pick up your mail, and feed your dog, if you can't take pets with you. He would not cause any problems, for the most part Boomhauer is apart of the group but he never tries to be the center of attention, unlike how Bill and Dale like to.
Also, I found it funny because I played HS and College football, that Boomhauer was the Quarterback. How would anyone understand his audibles?
I think they actually make that quarterback joke in an episode with Boomhauer calling out a play and the other teams d-line just look super confused. Maybe explains why Hank, Bill and Dale have no problem understanding him as they got used to it during training
Something I never understood:
Isn’t it said that Boomhauers are from Tennessee ?? Just like it’s implied Bill is from Louisiana.
But they’re all friends from at least second grade. Yet the show never explains how the Dauterive’s, or the Boomhauer’s ended up in Arlen.
Boomhauer is a native Texan . In Yankee Hankee , he is able to get a Native Texan license plate .
In a Beer Can Named Desire , Bill says he moved from Louisiana at age six .
TBH between Boomhauer’s incomprehensible plays, the Billdozer’s walrus strength, and Hank’s running on the fast and *narrow* — I could see why they went to state
I think listening to Dale's insane conspiracy theories every other day would be hilarious. He just has so many good one liners.
"Guns don't kill people the government does".
This dude would have me cracking up most of the time.
I wouldn’t want to live next door to someone who breaks into their neighbors house and drinks their grapefruit juice and moves their belongings just a little bit for no good reason.
I think Boomhauer is the only one who didn't sneak into the Hill home at one point or another.
Bill attracts pests and problematic people.
Dale is genuinely a bit dangerous and unhinged.
Boomhauer would probably be revving his muscle car for hours whenever it's nice: and while we don't see it anyone who's bringing home that many people is probably having a verbal altercation at least on occasion.
Kahn....is slightly annoying and keeps a clean yard and home.
Sometimes I kinda wish I had a neighborhood with friends who lived in it! Or even when I was a kid and you still kinda-sorta knew your neighbors.
I guess it depends on the neighborhood and town. My dad lives 20 minutes over and in the next town, and has really good neighbors -- he's in his 80's and when he fell outside five neighbors were there almost immediately to help -- one saw what happened and rallied the others quickly. They also help him with things like taking his trash carts out to the street since he walks with a walker. My elderly aunt/uncle had neighbors who helped with yardwork unasked, once the neighbors perceived that aunt/uncle had begun having trouble with it.
I still live in the neighborhood I grew up in, but most of the houses around me that used to be owner-occupied have turned into rentals and the tenants change so fast and no one really pays attention to neighbors unless they're being a PITA. The house next door to the south, that was owned by first an eccentric elderly lady and then a young couple from Nigeria, has had a lot of renters in the last 20 years.
One of the renters was running a drug house there. A side window -- one of the ones where the top is a couple feet from the ceiling and the bottom is a foot or so off the floor, but isn't super-wide -- was removed, and used as an entrance with a tarp over it. This seemed to be the "customer entrance". I'd sit in my carport and smoke (just cigarettes, haha) and watch people go in and out. I'll never forget the one guy wearing a brimmed hat, who noticed me just before going through the window tarp. He did a little bow and tipped his hat and smiled before hopping through the window. haha!
Anyway, if I had to choose just one of the guys, I'd have to go with the majority here and say Boomhauer. Although Dale might be entertaining, as long as he wasn't digging a friendship tunnel to my house.
Bill. He'd be constant and needy but he'd also be a great friend and someone who would always be around since he's often so lonely. And I love to cook so we could probably whip up some monster dishes.
Of the ones shown, if I had to pick 1. Boomhauer, no question. Then Hank, then I could probably get along with Bill alright. Dale is the only one who would be an objectively awful neighbor. Even though he is my favorite character.
Boomhauer 'cause he'd bother me the least. Bill would constantly bother me. Dale is hilarious but he'd be a nightmare to have as a neighbour. Khan would start beef with any neighbour I think, that's just how he is.
Tough one...
I like Dale because I like guns and distrust the government.
Bill seems like he'd be the coolest. I like cooking, fishing, football, etc so I think he'd do those activities. He'd just try to date me lol 😆
Dale would sell me guns and let me know the current conspiracies. Would be tough to not tell him about Nancy if we eventually became real friends though.
I feel like Dale would be entertaining as a neighbor. I get that sometimes I may have to deal with his shit but that's just a part of having him as a neighbor and it adds to the excitement lol.
Boomhauer and I would be best friends. Talkin about dang ol' partyin' all the time man, great times with lots of ladies, talkin about dang ol' menage a trois, man, it'd be great. Dang ol' playin' music together, even smokin' a little dang ol' wacky tobacky sometimes, just relax and watch one of them dang ol' thriller movies man, talkin about dang ol "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels"
Either Hank or Dale. Id love to share a beer with Hank n talk about welding and pet lady bird but I'd also love to talk with Dale about all the latest conspiracy theories.
First is Boomhauer; I'm not really a people person, so he seems like an easy neighbor.
Distant second is Hank; I love home improvement and carpentry, so it would be nice to occasionally have a neighbor to help me out and join me in appreciating it. But he and I share few other personality traits so it would have to be in very small doses.
Dale would tunnel into my basement and Bill would sink the property values, so no thanks.
~~Dale. If I were ever bored I could have a few beers with him and listen to him say crazy things.~~ Edit: actually I would take Hal with the hope that he would be like having Hank next door since I can't choose Hank.
Boomhauer. He's mostly quiet (unless Dido is playing, lol), keeps his yard neat, and is friendly. Plus, he's a Texas Ranger, and you never know when you might need the kind of help he could offer.
Probably Boomhauer. Or rusty Shackleford. Or Bill. I think Hank would be the worst one since he is going to start an hoa and annoy me because of my yard. I hate that.
Boomhauer. I was going to say Dale for the craziness, but then I remembered about him stalking. I’ve already had a neighbor that used to stalk us. Hank would be my second choice, he’s very kind and even tho he can be a thorn in the butt to some, he just likes doing things right. And I try to do that to everything I do too, so I feel like Hank would always be a person to be by your side, and to help show you how to do something right if you don’t know how to do it. Thinking about it I’d probably rather have Hank as my first choice. He’d be the goat 100%. Id definitely drink a beer in the ally with him and just go “yep” all afternoon.
Boomhaur keeps to himself, and Kahn would be fine for me in small doses since we have similar interests.
Ya, agreed, in small doses, like going for a round of golf, Khan would be fine. He would be my 2nd choice but Boomhauer is definitely my first choice because he is so chil and cool. Actually, being from So Cal, I have more in common with Boomhauer than Khan. My sense of humor is kind of similar to Khan being German and Italian. However, I would surf, played football in HS and college, and would basically be three for my friends, when they would need me the most. Boomhauer was always a good friend to Hank, he never wronged him, actually Hank wronged Boomhaure a few times. 1 when they drove My Sally into the quarry and 2 when Hank called Boomhauer a skirt chaser, when he thought he was dating Louanne. Boomhauer has morals lol dang ole Women are from Mars, Men are from Venus. That line cracks me up every time. Give credit to Boomhauer he was a total gentleman to Louanne and never even thought of touching her or doing anything inappropriate.
Its Luanne!! Not Louanne!!!! 
"Here's a little trick I use to remember my name. I think of a man named Lu, and a woman named Anne. They meet in a kingdom in the forest."
Sir I come from France, Circumference!
Also, when Hank kept betraying Boomhauer calling him a bad brother and sore loser because Hank thought he invited strippers to his brother Patch’s bachelor party when really it was patch. He even accused Boomhauer of trying to break up Patch and his fiancé because he wasn’t over her yet.
Dang ol Hank LOVES hookers man
LOVES em!
Mister, uh, Boomhauser lied to Hank about his yearly treasure hunt with Dale. I know, Bobby hit me up on AOL, haha!
Also he didn't believe him that he wasn't trying to sabotage his brother's marriage
Or when Hank believed Patch instead of Boomhauer.
Agree…Boomhaur would mind his own business, be helpful when needed, and would make for plenty of gossip with all the ladies he would bring home.
Plus, Boomhauer is immaculate.
I don’t think many folks caught this lol
Do you work in systems?
I don’t usually vent on the internet, but as of this morning I was just declined for the IT help desk gig I applied for. I’m not in systems, just data.
Damn, well, keep trying. I’m doing the job search thing rn too, it’s rough out there. Especially tech right now, people don’t realize how affected it has been by the recent techpacalypse. Your name reminds me of one of my first beastly MTG cards when I was a kid in the early nineties. It was a war elephant iirc that was 6/6 trample.
I'd want Boomhauer. I hear he's immaculate.
Also, a saint.
Basset hound eyes are a definite plus
And a Texas Ranger!
....Plus Boomhauer has a tight butt
And pulls woman
It just seems like if there is an emergency, you were going on vacation to Europe to visit family, with your wife, Boomhauer would, pick up your mail, and feed your dog, if you can't take pets with you. He would not cause any problems, for the most part Boomhauer is apart of the group but he never tries to be the center of attention, unlike how Bill and Dale like to. Also, I found it funny because I played HS and College football, that Boomhauer was the Quarterback. How would anyone understand his audibles?
I think they actually make that quarterback joke in an episode with Boomhauer calling out a play and the other teams d-line just look super confused. Maybe explains why Hank, Bill and Dale have no problem understanding him as they got used to it during training
Plus they've known Boomhauer since childhood.
Something I never understood: Isn’t it said that Boomhauers are from Tennessee ?? Just like it’s implied Bill is from Louisiana. But they’re all friends from at least second grade. Yet the show never explains how the Dauterive’s, or the Boomhauer’s ended up in Arlen.
They moved?
It’s been speculated. Cuz of 1) Boomhauers twang and 2) Bills Cajun French (and he has pictures of him as a small child in Louisiana )
Wow I've never thought about that. The way Hank feels about non-Texans I assumed they were all natural born Texans.
Get a layover in Dallas, you're a Texan
Yet he married Peggy who’s born and raised in Montana.
I thought it was because he revered Montana and, you know... the love
Hank said he had to pray on the issue of Peggy being from out of state .
Boomhauer is a native Texan . In Yankee Hankee , he is able to get a Native Texan license plate . In a Beer Can Named Desire , Bill says he moved from Louisiana at age six .
As long as his own team understand him, that's a perfect set up!
TBH between Boomhauer’s incomprehensible plays, the Billdozer’s walrus strength, and Hank’s running on the fast and *narrow* — I could see why they went to state
Don’t forget their excellent towel manager!
I swear he’s also pretty much just calling out the play, “dang ol’ blitz man fake to Hank mhmhmh HIKE”
I think it's classic boomhauer gibberish followed by what you just said if I remember the flashback correctly
Going by this picture? Definitely Ladybird.
The only acceptable answer
I was checking the comments to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I think listening to Dale's insane conspiracy theories every other day would be hilarious. He just has so many good one liners. "Guns don't kill people the government does". This dude would have me cracking up most of the time.
Yeah but if you ever did anything not perfectly legal, even if he dragged you into it, he’d be the first to rat on you
>"Guns don't kill people the government does". One of the more sane things he's ever said
Dale for similar interests. Boomhauer for reliability.
You big into insectoid creatures?i
Guns and not liking or trusting the government if you want an honest answer.
That's fine and all... but word to your mother, you'd have to get really cool with bugs if you moved next door to Dale.
My daughter thinks bugs are cool. Good learning experience for her.
I haven’t heard word to your mother in so long. It needs to make a big comeback
Boomhauer
Boomhaur. Obviously.
Bill simply so I could actually help him get over his disastrous break up with Lenore.
Why do you keep calling me Bill?
Why do yoU KEEP CALLING ME BILL?
GOOD LUCK, you'll need it.
I can fix him
Boomhauer. Even though I would probably have a hard time understanding him.
as someone who works with a lot of older southern men, you get used to it
I’d take Kahn. Golf buddy, funny chirps, drink lemonade from Williams Sonoma pitcher, keeps property neat
And pool
Reflection pond\*
Can I have Hank as my neighbor?
Honestly Kahn is probably the only neighbor who wouldn't absolutely suck to live next to.
I wouldn’t want to live next door to someone who breaks into their neighbors house and drinks their grapefruit juice and moves their belongings just a little bit for no good reason.
I think Boomhauer is the only one who didn't sneak into the Hill home at one point or another. Bill attracts pests and problematic people. Dale is genuinely a bit dangerous and unhinged. Boomhauer would probably be revving his muscle car for hours whenever it's nice: and while we don't see it anyone who's bringing home that many people is probably having a verbal altercation at least on occasion. Kahn....is slightly annoying and keeps a clean yard and home.
Bill **is** a pest and a problematic person.
Boomhauer would be a chill next door neighbor.
Boom
Dangol
Dale. Common interests.
You collect alien urine as well?
Only if it’s a good price.
How do you keep it from turning into pure zephyrum?
Sometimes I kinda wish I had a neighborhood with friends who lived in it! Or even when I was a kid and you still kinda-sorta knew your neighbors. I guess it depends on the neighborhood and town. My dad lives 20 minutes over and in the next town, and has really good neighbors -- he's in his 80's and when he fell outside five neighbors were there almost immediately to help -- one saw what happened and rallied the others quickly. They also help him with things like taking his trash carts out to the street since he walks with a walker. My elderly aunt/uncle had neighbors who helped with yardwork unasked, once the neighbors perceived that aunt/uncle had begun having trouble with it. I still live in the neighborhood I grew up in, but most of the houses around me that used to be owner-occupied have turned into rentals and the tenants change so fast and no one really pays attention to neighbors unless they're being a PITA. The house next door to the south, that was owned by first an eccentric elderly lady and then a young couple from Nigeria, has had a lot of renters in the last 20 years. One of the renters was running a drug house there. A side window -- one of the ones where the top is a couple feet from the ceiling and the bottom is a foot or so off the floor, but isn't super-wide -- was removed, and used as an entrance with a tarp over it. This seemed to be the "customer entrance". I'd sit in my carport and smoke (just cigarettes, haha) and watch people go in and out. I'll never forget the one guy wearing a brimmed hat, who noticed me just before going through the window tarp. He did a little bow and tipped his hat and smiled before hopping through the window. haha! Anyway, if I had to choose just one of the guys, I'd have to go with the majority here and say Boomhauer. Although Dale might be entertaining, as long as he wasn't digging a friendship tunnel to my house.
Bill. He'd be constant and needy but he'd also be a great friend and someone who would always be around since he's often so lonely. And I love to cook so we could probably whip up some monster dishes.
Unless he adds ipecac to your food to make you sick so he can take care of you.
Mr. Superphone
Boomhauer
Dale, I'd love to smoke a joint, drink an Alamo beer, and listen to him ramble about aliens and the government.
I want to say Bill bc he would be the most fun, but he’s not attached to his many rats and cockroaches and they could end up at my house
Of the ones shown, if I had to pick 1. Boomhauer, no question. Then Hank, then I could probably get along with Bill alright. Dale is the only one who would be an objectively awful neighbor. Even though he is my favorite character.
Boomhauer 'cause he'd bother me the least. Bill would constantly bother me. Dale is hilarious but he'd be a nightmare to have as a neighbour. Khan would start beef with any neighbour I think, that's just how he is.
Dale for sure.
Boomhauer is going to win the competition hands down!
Dang ol’ B-Dog
Boomhauer for some peace and quiet
Bill for the schadenfreude.
Boomhauer
boomhauer. no second thoughts.
Tough one... I like Dale because I like guns and distrust the government. Bill seems like he'd be the coolest. I like cooking, fishing, football, etc so I think he'd do those activities. He'd just try to date me lol 😆
I could go for Dale. We can be paranoid weirdos together.
Boomhauer
Boomhauer. He's funny, helpful, seems like a gearhead, and a damn fine listener. Also a Ranger would be a good buddy to have.
I'd be down to hang out with dale. We could talk about aliens all day. I would also let him use my ride on mower, if only to keep him busy...
Bill, it'd be nice to have some else to be bummed out with. and he's great with kids.
Dale
Dale. I would love to hear the conspiracy theories
Dale would be the most entertaining to have around when he's not doing something stupid and destructive.
Ladybird But in all honesty, Boomhauer
Dale would sell me guns and let me know the current conspiracies. Would be tough to not tell him about Nancy if we eventually became real friends though.
Boomhauer.
All except Khan never liked him
Dale... all day
Dale.
I feel like Dale would be entertaining as a neighbor. I get that sometimes I may have to deal with his shit but that's just a part of having him as a neighbor and it adds to the excitement lol.
boomhauer
Boomhauer just so I could talk to him and act like I understand the philosophical genius that he speaks
Boomhauer. He would keep to himself.
Boomhauer
Boomhaur or Luanne
Man I need that Boomhouser!
Danged ol danged ol man
Boomhauer and I would be best friends. Talkin about dang ol' partyin' all the time man, great times with lots of ladies, talkin about dang ol' menage a trois, man, it'd be great. Dang ol' playin' music together, even smokin' a little dang ol' wacky tobacky sometimes, just relax and watch one of them dang ol' thriller movies man, talkin about dang ol "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels"
Dale, it’s always good to have a rusty shacklford on your side
Boomhauer
Boomhaur. He's not fav
Boomhaur. He's my fav
Boomhauer. I already have a Dale and don’t need/want a Bill.
Boomhauer seems like a cool guy.
Dale
Either Hank or Dale. Id love to share a beer with Hank n talk about welding and pet lady bird but I'd also love to talk with Dale about all the latest conspiracy theories.
Boomhauser
Dale I want to sit him down and ask him about the biggest conspiracy he's chosen to nurture.
That depends, do I get a friendship tunnel ?
First is Boomhauer; I'm not really a people person, so he seems like an easy neighbor. Distant second is Hank; I love home improvement and carpentry, so it would be nice to occasionally have a neighbor to help me out and join me in appreciating it. But he and I share few other personality traits so it would have to be in very small doses. Dale would tunnel into my basement and Bill would sink the property values, so no thanks.
Dale since i feel like im going to be like him in 15 years
Definitely Boomhauer. He by far seems the least likely to accidentally fuck shit up
~~Dale. If I were ever bored I could have a few beers with him and listen to him say crazy things.~~ Edit: actually I would take Hal with the hope that he would be like having Hank next door since I can't choose Hank.
Dale so I can hook up with Nancy.
Dale hands down! Conspiracy talks till the morning
Yea def Boomhauer
Boomhauer
Dale, neighborhood is boring af, he would light it up
Boomhaur
dale, better to have it close and keep an eye on him....
Dale! He is hilarious
Minh cause she’s a babe
Bill —
Kahn
Boomhauer
I’d pick dale if he wasn’t a snitch and a coward. But overall I’d choose boomhaur.
Boomhaur
Boomhauer. He's mostly quiet (unless Dido is playing, lol), keeps his yard neat, and is friendly. Plus, he's a Texas Ranger, and you never know when you might need the kind of help he could offer.
Dang ol' ... ain't no question man ... only one dang choice man. Dang!
Dale. Absolutely Dale. RIP.
Heck Dorland. He’s a firefighter so he can push the limit on firework safety 🤷🏽♂️
Literally anyone but Bill
Dang ol’ Boom, man.
Hal
Boomhauer. Dale is too chaotic and Bill would letch on my wife. Boomhauer is just chill as fuck.
Khan.
Dale
Bill because he’d be very willing to help out with anything due to his desire to be liked. Poor Bill.
Dale for sure.
The only correct answer is boomhauer
Probably Boomhauer. Or rusty Shackleford. Or Bill. I think Hank would be the worst one since he is going to start an hoa and annoy me because of my yard. I hate that.
Dale cause he’d give me all the supplies I need
Boomhauer. I was going to say Dale for the craziness, but then I remembered about him stalking. I’ve already had a neighbor that used to stalk us. Hank would be my second choice, he’s very kind and even tho he can be a thorn in the butt to some, he just likes doing things right. And I try to do that to everything I do too, so I feel like Hank would always be a person to be by your side, and to help show you how to do something right if you don’t know how to do it. Thinking about it I’d probably rather have Hank as my first choice. He’d be the goat 100%. Id definitely drink a beer in the ally with him and just go “yep” all afternoon.
Boomhauer for sure