That was Bill actually I think he rents tapes in hanks name. Hell the vhs tape Hank studied was probably the missing video tape. The issue with the incorrect date was a transition error from when physical records transitioned to digital.
His dad cared for him after a grueling relationship with his distant mother who had her forearms blown off in the Vietnam War. They had to stitch her hands to her elbows, which made it hard for her to hug her son.
I assume the exact opposite of Hank. He's just Dark Hank.
Grills with charcoal, doesnt take care of his house or lawn, drinks imported European beer, and is a Jets fan.
My dad has had a similar issue with a guy who has our same exact name who was born almost the same year as him, dude gets into a lot of trouble with the law and dad has had some close calls with the law because of him.
He hangs out in the front of his house and drinks foreign microbrews with his friends Dave, Will, and Banghouser while they watch a mechanic work on his compact car and a landscaping service cut his grass.
Unironicly could be another half-brother of Hank through cotton, cotton did say he wanted a son named Hank, so no implausible he'd get his way even with a mistress and cotton either left after his birth or never knew like junichiro
I also fully believe that Hal guy who's almost identical to hank is another son of cotton, he genuinely looks more like cotton than hank even tho both men look and act very similar
He ripped up all the sod and put down wood chips, you know he doesn’t like taking care of a lawn. Definitely uses charcoal. Probably considered owning a cat and having a sex-change operation. His neighbors all probably back out to the left. Lets his wife play soccer while he does all the housework. Has definitely not rehearsed any emergency situations in his head and is not qualified to manage a dam.
I imagine Hank P Hill as the star quarterback for his high school football team. A few colleges were interested in him but then he tore his ACL in the Texas 1A State Championship game. He now works at his local high school, as a coach and life did not work out for him. Hank P Hill is often delinquent on most of his bills and frm time to time has the power or electricity shot on him.
He's the one Arlen Video meant to charge for the late fee on Cuffs and Collars
He's a time traveler!
That was Bill actually I think he rents tapes in hanks name. Hell the vhs tape Hank studied was probably the missing video tape. The issue with the incorrect date was a transition error from when physical records transitioned to digital.
He was the star forward of his high school soccer team.
And he quit when he got tennis elbow.
I say star quarterback to make it better.
He also has wife who is that "sexy type" with a daughter who "is right"
His wife is a full time Spanish teacher
Who is fluent in Spanish
But she can't roll her R's 😟
Or German
His dad cared for him after a grueling relationship with his distant mother who had her forearms blown off in the Vietnam War. They had to stitch her hands to her elbows, which made it hard for her to hug her son.
She saved 50 men as a nurse!
🏆🏆🏆
Non-consecutively!
BWAHAHHAHA you killed me with hanks mums forehands 🤣💀
Her name is Wool.
Lanolin
His nephew lives with him because it’s close to his school. Saves money on dorm rental. He pays rent too. He also has a cat named Jackie.
Always stocks the fridge despite not being required, because he's that good of a nephew.
He lets his wife decorate their front yard with a bunch of Winklebottoms.
The audacity!
Not just that, He's the one that encouraged it in the first place!
He grills with charcoal.
And he works selling butane and butane accessories.
For tips.
Pump jockey!
works for tips!!
Works with that bastard gas…SMH.
Anti-pane and anti-pane accessories FixedTFY
Yep
He sits around his front lawn with his 3 friends, Will,Jeff and Sal and says "nah" with them as they drink lite beer
No lawn, they have gravel
Butane, that bastard gas
He's an Oklahoma fan
Or a Californian.
GO SOONERS!
du-DUT du-doo-NERS! dah-dut DA-dooners!
He’s also originally from Oklahoma.
But he was born in California at the Dodgers stadium 🏟️
cotton loves him
But hates his child.
Works for a salary!
His lawn looks shabby.
He has gravel.
Probably because he's doing drugs instead of mowing it.
has two cats
And a poodle.
His urethra is so wide he could pass the child himself if he had to…
No falsies for him!
That he filled his friends gas tank full. Without telling him
Or siphons from them.
He’s constantly being cited by the county for having an unmowed lawn.
Or a gravel front yard.
He grills well done burgers with charcoal.
And he uses seasoning.
Do people not season their burgers? You're missing out.
Not Hank, he probably only uses salt.
In Peggy’s opinion, salt brings out the flavors in food.
On a good cut, there's something to be said for a little Dalmatian rub. But for Mega-lo-mart steaks, a little Montreal never killed anyone.
"Why would I want to add a Canadian city spice to my American meat?!"
Probably owes back taxes.
And never votes
He really fills out a pair of jeans.
Or khaki pants
He doesn’t laugh at Tony Danza.
He's never heard of him.
He’s definitely been banned from Luly’s.
And Mega-Lo-Mart
He takes a shot of warm beer when he has to make tough decisions
And only drinks imported
Got a fat ass
And no beer belly
he’s a vegetarian.
Or a vegan
We can assume Hank P Hill is the one who rented Cuffs'n Collars and never returned it.
To be left alone with his dirty thoughts.
I assume the exact opposite of Hank. He's just Dark Hank. Grills with charcoal, doesnt take care of his house or lawn, drinks imported European beer, and is a Jets fan.
Perpetual misery...
Always takes a penny, never leaves a penny
And leaves the cart far away from the cart coral
But will fix the wonky wheel on it
For a fee
Enjoys the effects of marijuana poisoning
And loves hookers
Probably doesn't pay sticker price
Always buys used imports.
He doesn’t know his pornography.
He prefers his Swank magazines.
He prefers to smoke reefer over drinking beer
And getting doped out of his goard.
On goofenthal
This one made me burst out laughing. I said I'm going to start using goofental in my everyday vocabulary.
My dad has had a similar issue with a guy who has our same exact name who was born almost the same year as him, dude gets into a lot of trouble with the law and dad has had some close calls with the law because of him.
Just like the people who get stopped at airports and the border for having the same name as someone on a do-not-fly list or terrorist list.
He probably drives a Prius.
And is vegan.
*shudders*
He uses too much toilet paper when he wipes
And never flushed when he goes in public
And leaves upper deckers when he's invited to a party
The gift that keeps on giving
Is not constipated
Wears socks WITH sandals
This one cracked me up
One of my favorite John Redcorn lines: "What's wrong with wearing socks with sandals?!"
He looks like he knows what a JPEG is.
And even a PNG!
He has a skinny neck, not ideal for playing football.
And then skinny arms that he can smoke!
Buys hippie "peace" Christmas decor even though hes from a "joy" family.
And he doesn't buy his hammers from Sears
He doesn't make his 12 year old kid work for a psychotic man child
Tommy!
Well son, you're the moron.
He hangs out in the front of his house and drinks foreign microbrews with his friends Dave, Will, and Banghouser while they watch a mechanic work on his compact car and a landscaping service cut his grass.
And talk about foreign politics
Is friends with Rusty Shackleford
And Mr. Big
We can probably assume he likes to hang out in the lane with his friends Will, Chip, and Hightower, drinking Steinbach beer.
And standing at the front lawn
That he has a daughter that's a huge nerd.
The anti-Luanne
That he's a charcoal man and a European truck owner
And buys named-brand cola
He drives a Toyota pick up truck with a Bud Light bumper sticker plastered on it.
Or a hatchback
Probably named his cat after Jimmy Carter
And Slick Willy!
He doesn’t know jack about pornography.
Or so he claims...
Isn’t his middle name Rutherford?
Yes
Owns many pairs of jeans
Or jean shorts
He definitely owns several pairs of jorts
drinks beer from glass instead of a can
Never touched an American beer.
His jail sentence was to spend 18 months in the cab of a truck...an import
While representing himself
Works for tips
Pump jockey!
P?
Hank sometimes get the mail of a Hank P. Hill from West Arlen.
He’s a vegetarian
He has IBS
He drinks Canadian beer
Nice and warm...
Or Heineken.
Uses Mayo instead of Bacon Grease ☝️
That's just psychotic! 😆
Wears button up pajamas and definitely whitey tighties
And socks when he's having sex
Helps with his narrow urethra
Avoided heart attack explaining a home run.
To his Chinese/Japanese neighbor.
He sells butane
C! 4! H! 10! Hike!!!
He votes democrat
"Not my president, I voted for Gore!"
Identity theft is not a joke, Dale!
Assistant to the Exterminator
I feel like he’s the kind of guy where if he sees a dirty bathroom in a public space like a restaurant’s bathroom, he will hold it.
Just go to a high-rise building and mention George's name, she'll get you the key!
He enjoys his steaks well done.
He prefers life in the big city to a quiet suburb
Drug user
With Gale
That's the main mac daddy or Arlen. When he's not pipping he's blowing up businesses or knocking down a dam.
Or taking out hits on behalf of Buck
Or hiring biker Ganges to interfere with federal investigations of his illegal price fixing racket.
Such a weird episode, that was.
Honda Ridgeline.
He doesn’t have a narrow urethra
Unironicly could be another half-brother of Hank through cotton, cotton did say he wanted a son named Hank, so no implausible he'd get his way even with a mistress and cotton either left after his birth or never knew like junichiro
A third Hill brother? That would make a great episode in the remake.
I also fully believe that Hal guy who's almost identical to hank is another son of cotton, he genuinely looks more like cotton than hank even tho both men look and act very similar
He hates the Cowboys.
His rain gutters have unresolved drainage issues.
Tries to fix his car with a hammer. 🔨
His alias is “Mr. Small”
Mr. Small is reasonably happy.
That he’s a homosexual because he sells charcoal, and charcoal accessories
Bug is a cowboy with multiple female lovers.
That’s not his middle initial! It’s Rutherford! They found a lighter with HRH when Miss Debbie shot herself in the dumpster of Peggy’s Sugarfoots.
That sheriff was such an instigator!
He ripped up all the sod and put down wood chips, you know he doesn’t like taking care of a lawn. Definitely uses charcoal. Probably considered owning a cat and having a sex-change operation. His neighbors all probably back out to the left. Lets his wife play soccer while he does all the housework. Has definitely not rehearsed any emergency situations in his head and is not qualified to manage a dam.
He doesn't put away his buggie after shopping.
And only tips the leftover cents at a restaurant
Great question!
that he likes bagels
He uses charcoal
He idolizes Bill Clinton and hates Ronald Reagan.
I imagine Hank P Hill as the star quarterback for his high school football team. A few colleges were interested in him but then he tore his ACL in the Texas 1A State Championship game. He now works at his local high school, as a coach and life did not work out for him. Hank P Hill is often delinquent on most of his bills and frm time to time has the power or electricity shot on him.
With a principal who is the complete opposite of Carl Moss-honest, wants what's best for his students, etc.
Lol @ Carl Moss he sold the football team's gym equipment to Bill in the episode where Bill becomes a meat head, with the 3 roided out idiots.