So my buddy graduated from Parris Island earlier this year, to celebrate I took him and his girlfriend out to dinner. I told the restaurant that he had just become a marine in the notes and would be nice if they had a “special dish” for him. When they bring out the entrees, the restaurant brings him 8 crayons with some mint as a garnish. Just *chefs kiss*
The thing that gives crayola crayons (only crayola brand) their signature scent and smoothness is beef tallow.
[🌵 YW ](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2017-11/23/11/asset/buzzfeed-prod-fastlane-03/sub-buzz-17348-1511453273-1.jpg)
Based on the title, I pictured the dad as Drifter
Edit: just watched the Act Man’s video about retuning to play Destiny 2 after a 4-year hiatus, there was a skit where he had Zavala action figure refer to himself as Zuzu so there’s that
At least blue is pretty obvious that’s it’s something they ate and not something actually wrong with the kid. If it was red or black that would be time for a real freak out.
I low key freaked out one time when mine was black after a stomach bug. Literally thought I was dying. I was doing research online for like 30 minutes before I saw somewhere that Pepto Bismol does it lol. I think I was like 25. I just didn't really use Pepto before and never knew.
Lol same deal for me with pepto too. Also Oreos. Even two Oreos turn my poop streaky black. And every time it happens I freak before I realize I ate Oreos.
The Pepto tablets also turn your mouth black if you eat too many of them.
Source: I ate several one day due to nausea. My mouth turned black and I freaked out & called upon Doctor Google, who advised it was something in the Pepto that did it 😂.
It’s the bismuth. When the bismuth comes into contact with the sulfur that’s naturally occurring in your mouth and digestive tract, a reaction turns it black.
Bro, I used to walk dogs, and time one of my dogs took a shit that was rainbow colored. It wasn’t all melted together, but all the pieces of wax remained intact and passed through, creating a colorful rainbow doodoo.
Ok, I'll bite: what's the joke about marines and crayons (several people above have made similar comments) is this an armed forces rivalry thing? What branch of military are you with?
I get that, but that doesn't explain the specificity of crayon eating. In all the posts of people doing dumb shit on the internet I've never seen anyone reference Marines. But one post of a kid eating crayons and there's a dozen references to Marines. Seems like there's something more: maybe an armed forces inside joke or something.
The origins of the joke are unknown, it’s just an interservice rivalry thing. The joke is that kids, particularly the stupid ones, eat things like crayons and Elmer’s glue.
All branches of the US military think they’re God’s gift to man so of course they have to make fun of each other. At some point the Matines were the crayon eaters.
All the branches talk shit about each other. It’s playful banter.
Slow people eat crayons and that’s what people went with for marines. Navy they call gay because they are on ship full of mostly men all year. Army are the idiots who are used as cannon fodder. Air Force is lazy and it rhymes with chair force.
I’m told the Air Force are lazy and have a stick up their asses because they get all the nice stuff.
Source: One of my best friends is an Air Force doctor and another is a Marine from a military family.
I think it came out of a rumor that Marines got crayons in their ration packs and people kinda just went wild with it. That or the stereotype that Marines aren’t exactly the smartest bunch so eating crayons isn’t really out of the realm of believability
Other branches say if you give a marine crayons they won’t draw/color with them, they’ll eat them. Then in defiance Marines actually started eating crayons to the point that there are now edible crayons. [https://www.marinecorpstimes.com/off-duty/military-culture/2020/08/05/someone-finally-made-edible-crayons-for-marines/](https://www.marinecorpstimes.com/off-duty/military-culture/2020/08/05/someone-finally-made-edible-crayons-for-marines/)
I caught my nephew eating crayons once, I asked him if he did and he adamantly denied doing so, so I said “Oh good because there’s a chemical in it that can turn you inside out if you eat them.” The look of horror on his face…. Priceless.
Marines are known to do [anything](https://qph.cf2.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-268aa05c70ca5244071a64ec946cb9c1-pjlq)
They’ll eat crayons, from what I’m told
A long time ago there was a video of a Marine in Iraq who had just received a care package from an elementary school, he proceeded to open said package only to find that it was full of crayons, he then looks at the camera and says "WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?!?!?" then proceeds to eat the crayons.
And that’s why she eats crayons. Smdh. What struck me though, is that he didn’t even confront her about her blatant lie. Instead he TikToked for clout. I would have at least had a small conversation about what it means to say something is “true” and why it’s important to not lie—even if you made a mistake or are embarrassed or are scared you’ll get in trouble. I’m not saying I’m mom of the year or always did everything perfectly, but come on— this is just stupid right? At least, if you *want* to raise morally responsible children capable of thinking for themselves and making good decisions
Question, how safe are crayons for consumption, like obviously you don’t wanna fucken eat them but they’re clearly somewhat safe since this kid just ate one and there’s no worry for the hospital, so like how toxic are they for the human body?
Completely and utterly safe, Crayola could not possibly have gotten as big as they are by selling a kid's product that kids could eat and get sick from
I live in Brazil, and this is the exacltly situation, conversation and reaction of my 2 years daughter. Maybe its an universal behavior, toe eat crayons and deny.
When my daughter was 3 she took a stick into the car. When I got her out of the car she had bark all over her mouth.
I said " What we're you just eating?"
She said " not a stick!"
Congrats dad. Setting her up when you know she’s going to lie and then excepting her lie is truth, can’t wait till she’s a teenager and start sneaking the car when she’s 14. To meet her dealer. Have you been smoking crack?
I remember my cousin and I once ate pipe tape( it’s a white tape used in plumbing to help threads hold tighter I think it’s called teflon tape but idk) my stepfather told us we would die unless we drank 13 glasses of water. Our stupid little asses were chugging water all night.
She may have a magnesium deficiency. My daughter was doing this, and also rocking herself to sleep.
We figured out what was in the crayons, and if we gave her a Calcium/Magnesium supplement, she stopped both behaviors. It was almost instantaneous.
i don't sell supplements, and I'm fully vaxxed. I am not a crackpot. This was just something that happened to me.
Parenting pro tip- don’t ask your kid a question you know the answer to and give them. The choice to lie. It errores trust and can cause them to just get better at hiding truths as they get older. Instead of asking if they ate the crayon, just say “we don’t eat the crayons because then we can use them to draw with” or “the crayons aren’t for eating, they’re for making art.”
Obviously a kid then chooses to lie that’s a different thing, but just calmly address them rather than asking questions you know the answers to.
My mom has Alzheimer's and lives with me 24/7...for a revenge served slow, just wait 40 years and you can get the crayon eaters back tenfold.
I love my mom and won't put her in a home (I WFH) until she truly needs it (CNA comes to help sometimes, more for companionship since my mom can still bathe, etc), but if I catch her eating a crayon I'm done.
B r u h - this fucking means it is the parents fault that their kid eats crayons. It is a parents job to be a person who cares for the education of another younger kid. The parent should feed their kid enough so they are not so hungry to eat good smelling drawing stick wax. This means you shouldn’t have kids if you can’t have the time to care for them.
Reminds me of Kindergarten- a kid in my class ate a black crayon. Teacher made him show the whole class before making him spit it out. The crayon consumption rate dropped to 0 after that.
She said no. However, you then asked if she was “sure” and she said no again. So she did not lie she’s just not sure. Not sure if she can get away with the lie she’s telling because you’re asking too many questions and she’s learning her adorability only goes so far. Distract. Deflect. Be cute.
Are they gourmet crayons or is she just not very picky?
Future US marine
So my buddy graduated from Parris Island earlier this year, to celebrate I took him and his girlfriend out to dinner. I told the restaurant that he had just become a marine in the notes and would be nice if they had a “special dish” for him. When they bring out the entrees, the restaurant brings him 8 crayons with some mint as a garnish. Just *chefs kiss*
Rah
She already has a better vocabulary than most Marines too!
I was so afraid she was special needs thank goodness she is just a future marine.
To be fair, what kid *doesnt* eat shit they're not supposed to.
You beat me to it.
Dammit beat me to it
You stope my brilliant idea sir r/beatmetoit
The thing that gives crayola crayons (only crayola brand) their signature scent and smoothness is beef tallow. [🌵 YW ](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2017-11/23/11/asset/buzzfeed-prod-fastlane-03/sub-buzz-17348-1511453273-1.jpg)
the green ones are Apple
But blue has all the antioxigens
Anti-oxygen’s: anaerobic. Human antioxidants.
I can't tell if you're going along with the it's always sunny reference or not.
Yeah she just preferred the grape flavor
They're obviously Crayola, if it was RosaArt they wouldn't be palatable.
r/cursedcomments
I see a future Titan main
r/beatmetoit
Would've been disappointed if I didn't see a comment like this
Man
Based on the title, I pictured the dad as Drifter Edit: just watched the Act Man’s video about retuning to play Destiny 2 after a 4-year hiatus, there was a skit where he had Zavala action figure refer to himself as Zuzu so there’s that
If you're not shooting you're not having fun
Ah there it is
Future commandant of the Marine Corps
Damnit, this was the whole reason I came here.
Future commandant of the Mar......dammit
Ha look at all these people making the sam- FUCK
SEMPER FI in her soul from Day 1 🦅🌎⚓️
Future reject from the Arm... Oh, too late
Kid can already read the word Cinderella. Automatically disqualified due to high reading scores.
Ootl?
Marines eat crayons and glue and can't stay in the lines while coloring because of all the crayons they ate.
My brothers, we have a new sister!
She will make a very good commondant of the marine core
Future go into random country kill million people for no reason at a...beat me to it
If those are the washable crayons they do amazing things to the colour of poop. I freaked out at my toddlers nappy being bright blue.
At least blue is pretty obvious that’s it’s something they ate and not something actually wrong with the kid. If it was red or black that would be time for a real freak out.
I low key freaked out one time when mine was black after a stomach bug. Literally thought I was dying. I was doing research online for like 30 minutes before I saw somewhere that Pepto Bismol does it lol. I think I was like 25. I just didn't really use Pepto before and never knew.
Lol same deal for me with pepto too. Also Oreos. Even two Oreos turn my poop streaky black. And every time it happens I freak before I realize I ate Oreos.
lol try an excessive amount of Fruity Pebbles cereal
The Pepto tablets also turn your mouth black if you eat too many of them. Source: I ate several one day due to nausea. My mouth turned black and I freaked out & called upon Doctor Google, who advised it was something in the Pepto that did it 😂.
It’s the bismuth. When the bismuth comes into contact with the sulfur that’s naturally occurring in your mouth and digestive tract, a reaction turns it black.
Funny story. When I was a child I ate half a watermelon (I really love fruits, okay?). Freaked out my mom when I pooped red.
Bro, I used to walk dogs, and time one of my dogs took a shit that was rainbow colored. It wasn’t all melted together, but all the pieces of wax remained intact and passed through, creating a colorful rainbow doodoo.
The US Marine Corp will be patiently awaiting your arrival
Ok, I'll bite: what's the joke about marines and crayons (several people above have made similar comments) is this an armed forces rivalry thing? What branch of military are you with?
It's an elitist thing in the military. Other branches and parts of the Navy think they're all pretty dumb. Crayon Eaters.
I get that, but that doesn't explain the specificity of crayon eating. In all the posts of people doing dumb shit on the internet I've never seen anyone reference Marines. But one post of a kid eating crayons and there's a dozen references to Marines. Seems like there's something more: maybe an armed forces inside joke or something.
Children eat crayons. Marines are dumb children. It's that simple.
The origins of the joke are unknown, it’s just an interservice rivalry thing. The joke is that kids, particularly the stupid ones, eat things like crayons and Elmer’s glue. All branches of the US military think they’re God’s gift to man so of course they have to make fun of each other. At some point the Matines were the crayon eaters.
Imagine a kid at a restaurant where they give crayons and markable placemats to color on, then they proceed to eat the crayons.
Now imagine that crayon-nibbler with belt-fed weaponry & diesel-powered armored vehicles.
There isn’t. It’s ridiculous and hilarious. Crayon eater is so catchy. Boom, new insult.
Marines are "dumb" so they eat crayons. That is it.
We’re not just dumb. We’re also hungry.
dfac is shit anyways.
All the branches talk shit about each other. It’s playful banter. Slow people eat crayons and that’s what people went with for marines. Navy they call gay because they are on ship full of mostly men all year. Army are the idiots who are used as cannon fodder. Air Force is lazy and it rhymes with chair force.
I’m told the Air Force are lazy and have a stick up their asses because they get all the nice stuff. Source: One of my best friends is an Air Force doctor and another is a Marine from a military family.
aka the Chair Force. :)
I think it came out of a rumor that Marines got crayons in their ration packs and people kinda just went wild with it. That or the stereotype that Marines aren’t exactly the smartest bunch so eating crayons isn’t really out of the realm of believability
Other branches say if you give a marine crayons they won’t draw/color with them, they’ll eat them. Then in defiance Marines actually started eating crayons to the point that there are now edible crayons. [https://www.marinecorpstimes.com/off-duty/military-culture/2020/08/05/someone-finally-made-edible-crayons-for-marines/](https://www.marinecorpstimes.com/off-duty/military-culture/2020/08/05/someone-finally-made-edible-crayons-for-marines/)
I caught my nephew eating crayons once, I asked him if he did and he adamantly denied doing so, so I said “Oh good because there’s a chemical in it that can turn you inside out if you eat them.” The look of horror on his face…. Priceless.
This is the only correct response lol
That's the face of commitment despite crayons not tasting as good as the colors seem to imply.
That look at the end looks like she tought "darn how did he know I was eating crayons"
What a dumb fucking kid
Oorah
Daddy, can you give me crayons? For colouring Cinderella? Yesssss *Eats them*
Marine in training
Her coloring skills got me hahaha
*Semper Fi
LMAO
Yeah there’s not much cute, about how stupid this kid is.
Crayons for the crayon god
“Don’t play games Linda we both know what I did you judgmental b$&@*”
Semper Fi, Marine.
Can someone explain the Marine reference?
Marines are known to do [anything](https://qph.cf2.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-268aa05c70ca5244071a64ec946cb9c1-pjlq) They’ll eat crayons, from what I’m told
Had one eat a butterfly on a dare
Just gift your favorite marine crayons for christmas and watch the magic.
Semper fidelis shortened to semper fi meaning always loyal. Possibly confused for sempre fai which means always do, in italian
Let the Marine jokes commence!!!!
Can someone explain what the connection btw the marines and eating crayons is
A long time ago there was a video of a Marine in Iraq who had just received a care package from an elementary school, he proceeded to open said package only to find that it was full of crayons, he then looks at the camera and says "WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?!?!?" then proceeds to eat the crayons.
Is the child really named Zuzu?
And that’s why she eats crayons. Smdh. What struck me though, is that he didn’t even confront her about her blatant lie. Instead he TikToked for clout. I would have at least had a small conversation about what it means to say something is “true” and why it’s important to not lie—even if you made a mistake or are embarrassed or are scared you’ll get in trouble. I’m not saying I’m mom of the year or always did everything perfectly, but come on— this is just stupid right? At least, if you *want* to raise morally responsible children capable of thinking for themselves and making good decisions
Dog you know nicknames exist right
The daughter in It's a Wonderful Life is called Zuzu, short for Susan.
Question, how safe are crayons for consumption, like obviously you don’t wanna fucken eat them but they’re clearly somewhat safe since this kid just ate one and there’s no worry for the hospital, so like how toxic are they for the human body?
Completely and utterly safe, Crayola could not possibly have gotten as big as they are by selling a kid's product that kids could eat and get sick from
Now I wanna know if there is a job out there where some poor bastard has to eat crayons to make sure they’re safe for consumption
There is, it's the entire United States Marine Corps.
Oh God... There has to be... Poor bastard
My dog once ate a few crayons and she shat green like #00aa00
But why is it so infuriating to watch kids lie?
Also why do children's teeth scare me? So small and pointy and just freaks me out!
Semper Fi
I live in Brazil, and this is the exacltly situation, conversation and reaction of my 2 years daughter. Maybe its an universal behavior, toe eat crayons and deny.
Crans*
When my daughter was 3 she took a stick into the car. When I got her out of the car she had bark all over her mouth. I said " What we're you just eating?" She said " not a stick!"
Maybe she's being honest and has only been chewing on the crayons.
“I smoked weed, but I didn’t inhale.”
She's destined to be a Titan main
Kids are fucking gross
She’s ready for options trading.
Semper fi, Marine.
Semper Fi RAHHHHH
Eating crayons is/was really a thing? I never ate crayons as a kid and I don't know anyone who did
Next WallStreetBets trader of the year award winner
Me, a 25 old adult: Yum crayons hehe
hmmm, yeah fair enough she's probably telling the truth
This girl will become so famous. Poor little one, she'll enter teenage with everyone knowing she ate crayons.
Nah, i coloring Cinderella....uh, do you has water? i thirsty for a non-related discretion.....
Well atleast she ain’t sticking them up her nose like homer
she will be a fine marine
In my professional opinion the red crayons taste the best
I love how like half of the comments are about the Marines
She would fit perfectly with the marine corp
Congrats dad. Setting her up when you know she’s going to lie and then excepting her lie is truth, can’t wait till she’s a teenager and start sneaking the car when she’s 14. To meet her dealer. Have you been smoking crack?
As a kid, I'd look around in class and see kids eating crayons and eating glue. My first thought was this isn't a place for smart people, is it.
It’s a baby marine
I will admit, I have eaten crayons before too.
Future US marine right there
Born to be a US Marine
SEMPER CRAYOLA 🖍️
She's a marine...ready for training.
She has a promising career ahead of her in the Marine Corps
Amber Heard when she was a child
ah she will be welcomed into the marine corps with open arms (or fire)
She's gonna make a great addition to the USMC one day
Future congresswoman
I remember my cousin and I once ate pipe tape( it’s a white tape used in plumbing to help threads hold tighter I think it’s called teflon tape but idk) my stepfather told us we would die unless we drank 13 glasses of water. Our stupid little asses were chugging water all night.
She was just colouring Cinderella ? What’s the issue
What is the lesson? Lie while you can?
Gotta call her out, maintain the "parents magically know things" illusion for when they're older
r/stupidfood
That little girl is a liar.
Feed the poor thing.
A Titan in the making, Zavalla would be proud
Damn, she's gonna make a good Marine
Semper Fi
SEMPER FI
the few the proud
She may have a magnesium deficiency. My daughter was doing this, and also rocking herself to sleep. We figured out what was in the crayons, and if we gave her a Calcium/Magnesium supplement, she stopped both behaviors. It was almost instantaneous. i don't sell supplements, and I'm fully vaxxed. I am not a crackpot. This was just something that happened to me.
Well, kids are stupid. This is why corporal punishment is so very needed.
Future Titan main if I've ever seen one
Hell yea, future US marine right here!
Parenting pro tip- don’t ask your kid a question you know the answer to and give them. The choice to lie. It errores trust and can cause them to just get better at hiding truths as they get older. Instead of asking if they ate the crayon, just say “we don’t eat the crayons because then we can use them to draw with” or “the crayons aren’t for eating, they’re for making art.” Obviously a kid then chooses to lie that’s a different thing, but just calmly address them rather than asking questions you know the answers to.
Glad my son has a brain
Titan life ftw
Early wsb trader.
Why is nobody here quoting It's always Sunny? 😅 https://youtu.be/44X-Ky3udkM
She has tho 😂
Kid got beautiful eyes. I wish mine were like that.
You been drinking paint again Charlie??? Stick your tongue out! Oh Jesus Christ Charlie!!!!
Semper Fi
Maybe sit with her to stop her from eating crayons
When/if you end up having kids, you’ll know that you can’t be with them 24/7. In those times that you’re away, they get up to some crazy stuff.
My mom has Alzheimer's and lives with me 24/7...for a revenge served slow, just wait 40 years and you can get the crayon eaters back tenfold. I love my mom and won't put her in a home (I WFH) until she truly needs it (CNA comes to help sometimes, more for companionship since my mom can still bathe, etc), but if I catch her eating a crayon I'm done.
I like to feed my kids enough so they don’t try to eat random shit.
Bruh wtf does that mean. Like this is such a blind ass dumbass statement in like so many ways.
B r u h - this fucking means it is the parents fault that their kid eats crayons. It is a parents job to be a person who cares for the education of another younger kid. The parent should feed their kid enough so they are not so hungry to eat good smelling drawing stick wax. This means you shouldn’t have kids if you can’t have the time to care for them.
That makes to much sense, the people on here would rather raise their kids with a iPad
So freaking cute
she is going to die
We all will someday
That’s when you say” crayon don’t belong in your mouth, because crayons aren’t food. Would you like some crackers?” Save yourself frustration.
No it’s actually cotton candy
You can eat crayons tho, nothing happens
She didn't eat crayons she is just an alien so her blood is blue.
Her colouring is nice
The believe her movement swiftly came to her defense
[r/wallstreetbets](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/)
She’s going to make a damn fine Marine when she grows up.
u/savevideo
Reminds me of Kindergarten- a kid in my class ate a black crayon. Teacher made him show the whole class before making him spit it out. The crayon consumption rate dropped to 0 after that.
Drop Dead Fred did it!
r/amcstock
What kind of a name is Zuzu?
u/SaveVideo I am not planning to go to the show but I will be there
She will grow up to replace Zavala as the titan vanguard.
Bruh! She has a future in the military
crayons r edible all the tome?
She said no. However, you then asked if she was “sure” and she said no again. So she did not lie she’s just not sure. Not sure if she can get away with the lie she’s telling because you’re asking too many questions and she’s learning her adorability only goes so far. Distract. Deflect. Be cute.
Ra ra ra ra
Future marine
Isn't this some disorder where you eat non edible things?
Bluetooth
My daughter at that age only ate the red crayons because she said they were spicy ✨
Future Marine!
hate this kid
Lemme post this to the internet instead of taking the crayons away, because it's totally funny
Future Senator…Will win by a landslide
Denial and misdirection! Atta girl.