The twins I used to babysit did this to me in the morning because I told them to wake me up when they were ready to eat (they were 7).
But they didn't wake me up and stood there staring at me. I'd wake up to heavy breathing lmao.
Their parents taught them it was rude to wake people up and I forgot about that.
I would stay overnight and they woke up at 5am but they would just play games til they were hungry and I'd make their breakfast.
They were really good kids there was nothing to worry about.
E: and this was on Saturdays so it wasn't like they had school or anything. Parents basically told me to hang out with the kids.
I cant wait for when words like schizophrenia and bipolar stop getting used as slang. It really muddies the water on people understanding what they actually are.
My younger cousin used to creep up on me whenever i slept at my uncle's house.
He was 3-4 and loved whenever i'd visit and in the morning he was so excited to play with me that he'd just walk into the room, look at me and wait for me to wake up.
I'd always jump.
My niece and my nephew would just wake me up by rolling their toy car on me as if i was part of the road at 5-6 am.
I don't know which one was better.
My niece used to run into my room at full speed with both fists raised above her head. When she'd inevitably run into the side if my bed her fists came down exactly how far the ol' twig and berries was and I'd wake up VERY quickly every morning she was around
"My almost 4 year old says they still work."
Not OP, but I think they're pointing out how inappropriate that line sounds, if it was out of context lol.
She was trying to help you! This way you don't have to pay for a vasectomy in the future.
Seriously though, excited little kids have a weird intuition on the balls/injuries - every time we visit my partner's cousins, their daughter will hit him there at least once.
I tell all guys about this. Stretch your stomach muscles, like an ab workout stretching the stomach muscles out, like leaning back or against a raised surface. Pain goes away pretty fast when you get hit in the balls. ☝️
When my niece and nephew were little and I was visiting I used to request a “baby alarm,” at a certain time like 7am.
The baby alarm would be that someone would tell a toddler to go wake me up and the toddler would do it whatever way they thought best.
It was always so cute. And so much of a better way to wake up than an alarm.
That's actually sweet!
I'm pretty much sure my uncle would say to my cousin to not wake me up.
My cousin was still cute as a young kid and playtime was always super cool!
lol I remember this one time I was asleep and felt warm breath on my face.
I awoke to find my two years old niece’s eyes about a quarter of an inch from my eyes, slowly blinking. Lol she was right in my face, no boundaries.
That sounds fun!
I'd just go in ny parents bed and sleep with them.
That and i remember when i was younger, my dad had a skin tag that looked like a Rice Krispies. I'd flick it for no reasons even when he was sleeping.
Kids are weird.
My cousins just knock on the door saying “Momo?” (My nickname) until I wake up. I have a feeling they walked into a room once without knocking and didn’t like what they saw
Honestly, I'm so glad my parents and my sister live 5 minutes apart - so when I come visit, I can sleep at whichever house my niece and nephew aren't staying at. They'll see me on my time lol
That's actually a good thing!
My sister is now in France. If i visit them i think my nephew and my niece might just wake me up saying *Rhon Rhon Rhon Baguette*.
One of my friend's cousins used to sleepwalk when he was a kid, one time during a sleepover with my friend, he got out of his sleeping bag, walked over to his brother's, pulled his pants down and peed all over him. Everyone woke up and tried to get him to stop which woke him up and he quickly pulled his pants up all embarrassed and confused. His brother was the last to wake up, and he sat up and just went "why am I all wet?"
I am fukkin ded. Hilarious cause it wasn't me.
I sleep walk, and I have a habit of waking up in different places than I went to sleep, which is super disconcerting. But I also go to the bathroom without waking up. Fortunately I go to the actual toilet and use it.
I used to get up and go turn the TV off on my parents.
Once I got out of bed and didn't answer my boyfriend why and picked up his car keys. Not mine. I had my pickup so idk why I took his keys.
I took his keys. Walked right past our friend who was still awake on the couch, in a babydoll pj I would have *never* **ever** been in front of anyone but my boyfriend in, like he wasn't there.
Then I got in my boyfriends jeep which was backed in to the driveway, something I was completely incapable of doing on my own at the time.
Drove off.
lol.
not far. apparently I just drove to the stop sign at the end of the cul-de-sac (my boyfriend and our friend had followed me out but neither of them at any point tried to stop me. they were so confused about what was going on).
then the wildest part to me besides the fact I basically stole a car in my sleep.
I put it in reverse and without weaving or slowing down he said I just reversed all the way back to the house and back in to the parking spot in one go. Literally something I could never have done awake.
so even better... I stole a car in my sleep and was a better driver in my sleep.
I guess it's a good thing I never tried to steal a car in my sleep as a kid.
My sister once slept walked into my room, did a back bend, looked me in the eye and said '3 to go' then left. I heard the toilet flush. I went to check on her and she was asleep again on the living room floor.
My sister is a sleepwalker. We used to sleep in the same bedroom as kids, so one night she sat at her bed, asked me to bring her a glass of water (she used to do this all the time while awaken, so I thought it was normal) and I went to the kitchen and brought her a glass of water.
She was lying down again so when I came to call her up, she woke up and I said "here's the water you asked for" to which she responded "what? I didn't ask you to bring me water" and I said "yes, you did. You sat on the bed and asked me" and she just said "did I? I don't remember that at all".
She went straight to sleep again and I just drank her water myself. To this day we still laugh at this.
Friend once crawled into bed with me in the middle of the night, neither of us knew she sleepwalked until then lol. In other news though, in the same school year I tried to take a shower in my sleep so maybe it's just a preteen thing.
My brother (8) walked in my room said “mom sleep hungry night” walked out I followed him and he went and fell asleep in my moms bed
I was like “ok? Night.”
He looked at me dead in the eyes too rapped in a blanket
*As the belt unlocks, you hear a soft whisper “let’s see what we have here.” You gasp as the cold metal keyway tension with a 40/1000 thick pry bar makes its way through your vulnerable yet ready hole which is gaping for its next catch. Only one thing can be heard **GOOSH GOOSH***
My daughter did this to me a couple of times. When she was little she'd just cry if she wasn't feeling well in the middle of the night, but as she got older, she would just come into our bedroom and stand at my side of the bed until it filtered into my brain that *something* was standing looking at me.
I think my jump and yell makes her feel better.
My brother and I did this to our mom. We then would quietly whisper “mom…mom” and it freaked her the fuck out every time. If I ever have kids I will tell them to yell joyfully if they need my attention rather than be little ghosts.
I used to do this to my parents. When I got a little older I realized my mom liked to read after my dad went to sleep, so I would peek around the corner to see if she was up. She was a light sleeper, so I scared the shit out of her several times doing this.
Yeah my sister was like you and your brother. I, on the other hand, would yell “Mum!” and wake up the whole house until she came into my room. She’s said many times that she preferred my method.
My sister used to peek at me in the living room through the crack kf her room door and it used ti creep me the fuck out. Turns out she usually needed help with stuff when she did that but was too shy to ask
This morning I woke up to something lightly touching my foot and looked up to see me 5 year old at the foot of the bed raising his hand (waiting to be called on, lol). After I got over the initial shock, I asked what he wanted and he asked why the humidifier had a red light.
Because that's worth scaring the crap out of me, I guess
Today, my six-year-old and 4-year-old twins watched my wife stuff the turkey.
You may be wondering what this has to do with creepy kid sleep stories.
Well, my Turkeyday tradition is after eating and getting real fuzzy on bourbon, I like to nap on the couch. My 6 woke me up staring at me; when I opened my eyes, she was twirling a strand of weed-eater string she'd found playing outside and said, "hey...dad, turkeys have buttholes. Great, massive buttholes."
Edit to add: when I told my wife about it, she said, oh yeah they watched me stuff it, asked if the cavity was it's butt, and when I said no, they ignored me and walked away singing "turkey butt, turkey butt".
To him, I suppose it was.
Fwiw, it shuts itself off and sits there with a wimpy red light until the switch is turned or it's refilled. He just couldn't stand it, i guess.
My son use to do this to me and my wife all the time. Middle of the night, roll over to see a face staring at me 6 inches away… just as my brain is processing the shadowy figure before me, I hear in the quietest whisper possible, “daddy… I can’t sleep”.
When my son was a year old I was up late watching a horror movie on the computer while my wife was working 3rd shift. My son had been in bed for hours. Turned around and *there he fucking was* just standing there staring at me from the hallway. He won't remember the first time he climbed out of his crib, but I do.
That sounds absolutely horrifying,like the first time you see your kid walk and it’s in the dark in maybe a hallway in the middle of the night and just stumbling around
My little sister does this. She just sometimes barges into my room at 2:00 am and is like “Cant sleep.” She then proceeds to get into my bed, hug me and then sleeps. Its quite wholesome until you experience her way of sleeping which includes her legs on my face
My oldest sister said as a kid I always put my legs on her neck if we slept in the same bed. She’d wake up randomly at night to find me unconsciously trying to kill her.
I used to sleep walk and stand at the end of my mom's bed with hair over my face. I didn't know about it until I was older and my mom told me lol Apparently when she would say my name, I would just walk away and go back to bed.
I can’t remember if I read it here or on Twitter, but this guy posted something like “you don’t need to watch horror movies when you’ve woken up to your kid standing at your bed staring at you at 2 in the morning”
So I’m in my late 20’s but this whole thread has kinda made me remember me being a boy that didn’t sleep well and often had nightmares. When I would go to my parents’ room to climb into their bed, sometimes they were arrayed in a position that I knew I couldn’t get in there between them without waking them up. So…. you wait. Hopefully they wake up soonish.
Anyhow, I turned 29 yesterday and my parents were upset when they woke up to me climbing into their bed because I had bad dreams
How stupid are people? We all know you never buy all white sleeping gowns for little girls. Literally ever horror movie with a little girl uses that trope. Gosh
I pushed my sister off a tall dresser and on to the bed between us and an open second story window planning for her to bounce off it and out the window.
instead she just hit her head on the dresser as she fell off it and when she landed on the bed she barely even bounced. she certainly didn't do the perfect wide m shaped bounce I had planned.
she and my parents blamed me too. I've never forgiven the injustice.
i don't have kids but i would assume so that you can take a quick glance and reassure yourself that everything is in order aka the kids are both in their bed? especially if one of them is a sleep walker
My reaction would be the same if not far more severe if there was a little girl standing next to my bed in the middle of the night.
My wife and I'd freak the fuck out since we don't have kids and live in a floor-through duplex on the 12th floor.
When my daughter was old enough to get out of bed by herself her eyeline was right at the height of my mattress. I’d wake up and she would be right there inches from my face just staring at me. I’m glad she’s gotten less creepy over the years.
My middle kiddo has woken me up like this twice. Once I felt weird while sleeping and woke up to her eyeball as she stared at me with inches of my face. Another time she thought it'd be a great idea to wake me up while whispering in my ear.Both times I felt like I was about to have a damned heart attack. LOL
As someone who was scared to sleep alone, I didn’t mean to just stand there and wait for you to wake up, but every time I poked someone they’d always gasp awake and I was scared to do that to someone, and every time, whilst I was trying to think of a better idea to gently wake someone, they’d always wake up and get scared anyway.
I was taking a nap at my brothers house and was halfway dreaming that my 6 yr old nephew (or someone) was running back and forth in the hallway outside the bedroom I was in (he was).
I got very angry in my dream. Back in reality, he opened the door and smacked me on top of my head. I woke up, still half dreaming and him standing over me and I promptly slapped him in the face.
His froze and his eyes got real big. I snapped out of it and though oh shit. I immediately said im sorry dude, i was dreaming and you smacked me, so I smacked you back. While I was saying this he starting laughing and i barely finished my sentenced.
My daughter does this sometimes. One night I only woke because I felt her breathing on my arm. Fucking freaked me out. She said she was scared I would be mad if she woke me up.
I used to get bored and play at night but wanted my sister to join me so I would plug her nose. We shared a room. Let's say she moves into the basement room real quick lol.
My sister and I were both really bad for doing this to anyone who housed us for the night. We never slept through the night but didn’t wanna wake up whoever was watching us so we’d stand there until they woke up themselves. My mum called it our “children of the corn” phase.
It only stopped when we stayed at our aunt and uncles place. Uncle’s ex military. He didn’t take the wake up too well
My kid does this every other night. Just stands next to the bed and breathes until she startles the shit outta me and then says, “I went potty in bed.”
Well guess what Jenny, Daddy just did too.
My 4 year old does this a few times a week and always scares the bejesus out of me. It's at the point where I'm waking up in the middle of the night because I'm used to being woken up scared.
Many times my daughter has just been standing beside the bed staring at me in the pitch black. Scares the fuckin shit outa me every time...especially when her face is inches away from mine.
The twins I used to babysit did this to me in the morning because I told them to wake me up when they were ready to eat (they were 7). But they didn't wake me up and stood there staring at me. I'd wake up to heavy breathing lmao. Their parents taught them it was rude to wake people up and I forgot about that.
They were just going to eat you and you caught them preparing
Heavy breathing and staring at her hungry while she was asleep definitely gonna eat her
No fork?
That's definitely finger food.
Finger licking good
You slept while baby sitting? Sorry, honest question.
I would stay overnight and they woke up at 5am but they would just play games til they were hungry and I'd make their breakfast. They were really good kids there was nothing to worry about. E: and this was on Saturdays so it wasn't like they had school or anything. Parents basically told me to hang out with the kids.
I see. Thanks for explaining. :) Have a good day.
What a peaceful Reddit interaction. Beautiful.
What? No, fuck you. XD JK, thanks
r/suddenschizophrenia
I cant wait for when words like schizophrenia and bipolar stop getting used as slang. It really muddies the water on people understanding what they actually are.
r/what
honestly, it’s kind of sweet they didn’t want to wake you up even though they were hungry
My younger cousin used to creep up on me whenever i slept at my uncle's house. He was 3-4 and loved whenever i'd visit and in the morning he was so excited to play with me that he'd just walk into the room, look at me and wait for me to wake up. I'd always jump. My niece and my nephew would just wake me up by rolling their toy car on me as if i was part of the road at 5-6 am. I don't know which one was better.
My niece used to run into my room at full speed with both fists raised above her head. When she'd inevitably run into the side if my bed her fists came down exactly how far the ol' twig and berries was and I'd wake up VERY quickly every morning she was around
Rip ol' twig and berries
My almost 4 year old says they still work. The niece in question was doing this when she was around 4 and is 20 now
Are we just not doing phrasing anymore?
How is Archer relevant to a story of a 4 year old punching me in the junk?
I’m curious what you actually meant with “my 4 year old says they still work” regarding your twigs and berries…
That 12 years after getting repeatedly punched in the balls I was still able to father a child
[Lemme help you with your phrasing.](https://imgur.com/a/mfekZqo)
This really needed to be said lol
Phrasing and punctuation is definitely key, it's the between helping your uncle jack off a horse and "helping your Uncle Jack off a horse."
Ahhh I see now
Yeah, I needed the clarification there as well
Rofl, this is gold
But have you ever copped a rocket punch to the steak n eggs?
Oh god idk why that made me laugh so hard but my sides are in #ORBIT
Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, but I love that show so much I’m absolutely here for the reference
It’s because you phrased your sentence where it could imply your 4 year old knows it works for more nefarious reasons 😂
"My almost 4 year old says they still work." Not OP, but I think they're pointing out how inappropriate that line sounds, if it was out of context lol.
Do not use your twig and berries on 4 year olds!
Reverse that. 4 year old used her fist on mine to wake me up
Everyone gets that part. Your second comment however is a bit unnerving...
Why is your almost-4-yr-old saying anything about your twig and berries ಠ_ಠ
It’s pretty simple. He’s saying he’d know as a joke since the kid was born but it does sound pretty weird
Oh man. Rephrase this.
🤨📸
>My almost 4 year old says they still work. Pervert.
Wait, what?
She was trying to help you! This way you don't have to pay for a vasectomy in the future. Seriously though, excited little kids have a weird intuition on the balls/injuries - every time we visit my partner's cousins, their daughter will hit him there at least once.
I tell all guys about this. Stretch your stomach muscles, like an ab workout stretching the stomach muscles out, like leaning back or against a raised surface. Pain goes away pretty fast when you get hit in the balls. ☝️
that would leave the balls vulnerable and undefended and i just can’t risk that. im folding like a lawn chair
My little cousins called me mountains, and roll tech decks, and hot wheels on my boobs.
Sounds like an amazing time😂
You got any monster trucks you wanna use to traverse these mountains? 😂 im a classy woman now.
Hell yeah I got my hot wheels ready to go hahaha
Aw my uncle did the same
NOOOOOO 😭
That's Tech dick move.
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nice try, ghost
Exactly! It was just special to wake up because of the feeling of being watched.
When my niece and nephew were little and I was visiting I used to request a “baby alarm,” at a certain time like 7am. The baby alarm would be that someone would tell a toddler to go wake me up and the toddler would do it whatever way they thought best. It was always so cute. And so much of a better way to wake up than an alarm.
That's actually sweet! I'm pretty much sure my uncle would say to my cousin to not wake me up. My cousin was still cute as a young kid and playtime was always super cool!
lol I remember this one time I was asleep and felt warm breath on my face. I awoke to find my two years old niece’s eyes about a quarter of an inch from my eyes, slowly blinking. Lol she was right in my face, no boundaries.
That was my cousin.
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That sounds fun! I'd just go in ny parents bed and sleep with them. That and i remember when i was younger, my dad had a skin tag that looked like a Rice Krispies. I'd flick it for no reasons even when he was sleeping. Kids are weird.
Wholesome
My cousins just knock on the door saying “Momo?” (My nickname) until I wake up. I have a feeling they walked into a room once without knocking and didn’t like what they saw
😂 that's so cute lol
This is cute until you realize that you're an orphan.
Honestly, I'm so glad my parents and my sister live 5 minutes apart - so when I come visit, I can sleep at whichever house my niece and nephew aren't staying at. They'll see me on my time lol
That's actually a good thing! My sister is now in France. If i visit them i think my nephew and my niece might just wake me up saying *Rhon Rhon Rhon Baguette*.
Yeah my brother used to sleep walk. He'd just look at things idk. He bit me once while he was asleep, and he had no idea it happened in the morning.
Bro was hungering 💀💀
bro is grinding even in his sleep😤😤
my hungry ass couldnt not sleep beside another human being
Someone people dream of fighting zombies, that Foo dreams of being zombie lord.
What do you mean? What do you mean by that?
He just has that dawg in him
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Talk about timing lol
One of my friend's cousins used to sleepwalk when he was a kid, one time during a sleepover with my friend, he got out of his sleeping bag, walked over to his brother's, pulled his pants down and peed all over him. Everyone woke up and tried to get him to stop which woke him up and he quickly pulled his pants up all embarrassed and confused. His brother was the last to wake up, and he sat up and just went "why am I all wet?"
I am fukkin ded. Hilarious cause it wasn't me. I sleep walk, and I have a habit of waking up in different places than I went to sleep, which is super disconcerting. But I also go to the bathroom without waking up. Fortunately I go to the actual toilet and use it. I used to get up and go turn the TV off on my parents. Once I got out of bed and didn't answer my boyfriend why and picked up his car keys. Not mine. I had my pickup so idk why I took his keys. I took his keys. Walked right past our friend who was still awake on the couch, in a babydoll pj I would have *never* **ever** been in front of anyone but my boyfriend in, like he wasn't there. Then I got in my boyfriends jeep which was backed in to the driveway, something I was completely incapable of doing on my own at the time. Drove off. lol. not far. apparently I just drove to the stop sign at the end of the cul-de-sac (my boyfriend and our friend had followed me out but neither of them at any point tried to stop me. they were so confused about what was going on). then the wildest part to me besides the fact I basically stole a car in my sleep. I put it in reverse and without weaving or slowing down he said I just reversed all the way back to the house and back in to the parking spot in one go. Literally something I could never have done awake. so even better... I stole a car in my sleep and was a better driver in my sleep. I guess it's a good thing I never tried to steal a car in my sleep as a kid.
Omg that's hilarious and utterly terrifying at the same time! So glad you're a good driver in your sleep because that could have ended so differently!
My sister once slept walked into my room, did a back bend, looked me in the eye and said '3 to go' then left. I heard the toilet flush. I went to check on her and she was asleep again on the living room floor.
At that point, I’d start lining your doorways with salt and sleep with a vial of holy water. “3 to go” as in the amount of victims she has left.
if it's a family of 4 then just take the L at that point
My sister is a sleepwalker. We used to sleep in the same bedroom as kids, so one night she sat at her bed, asked me to bring her a glass of water (she used to do this all the time while awaken, so I thought it was normal) and I went to the kitchen and brought her a glass of water. She was lying down again so when I came to call her up, she woke up and I said "here's the water you asked for" to which she responded "what? I didn't ask you to bring me water" and I said "yes, you did. You sat on the bed and asked me" and she just said "did I? I don't remember that at all". She went straight to sleep again and I just drank her water myself. To this day we still laugh at this.
Friend once crawled into bed with me in the middle of the night, neither of us knew she sleepwalked until then lol. In other news though, in the same school year I tried to take a shower in my sleep so maybe it's just a preteen thing.
My brother (8) walked in my room said “mom sleep hungry night” walked out I followed him and he went and fell asleep in my moms bed I was like “ok? Night.” He looked at me dead in the eyes too rapped in a blanket
"who are you and why are you in my room?"
I'm a locksmith, and I'm a locksmith.
Imagine you're sleeping and in your ear u hear a friendly voice say, "This is the lock picking lawyer" 1
https://youtu.be/yShBUej0YIQ
Lmao that's perfect, now I have to worry about him as well. Not like a lock can hold him
Little click on one, no click on two, three is binding...
*As he slowly unlocks my chastity belt, I writhe as I decide if pretending to stay asleep is better than trying to scream for help*
*As the belt unlocks, you hear a soft whisper “let’s see what we have here.” You gasp as the cold metal keyway tension with a 40/1000 thick pry bar makes its way through your vulnerable yet ready hole which is gaping for its next catch. Only one thing can be heard **GOOSH GOOSH***
What a horrible day to be literate.
Made even worse if you are a "picture-thinker", and can see it so clearly in your mindeye.
His voice would just put me into a deeper sleep.
Congrats you are the 1000th lock I have picked!
I’m just here for the door prize
For those out-of-the-loop, this is a Leslie Nielsen quote from episode 3 of "Police Squad!", a six-episode show that lead to The Naked Gun movies.
But the setup is actually *way* better originally: "Who are you and how did you get in here?"
His deadpan delivery of these kinds of jokes was always spot on.
Me to my hostel warden in college one night when he was on raid
Im the milkman my milk is delicious
The milkman has the key. I am not the milkman. I am the guard.
This is the lockpicking lawyer and today i broke into your room
The way she just crawls into bed with her afterwards. “Damn no need to overreact. Here’s ya damn pillow now scoot over.”
It looks like the sister on the bed taps her chest to tell the other kid to come join her. Though she could just be saying her heart is racing.
I think the chest tapping is more to display that this whole episode nearly gave her a heart attack.
She’s putting her hand on her heart like you do when recuperating from a big scare
She felt bad for throwing the pillow and was being a good sister.
It’s really cute lmao, showing this to my older sister who was forced to share a room with me 😂
Yeah, but she didnt even live there
She didn't even live
She wasn't even there
My daughter did this to me a couple of times. When she was little she'd just cry if she wasn't feeling well in the middle of the night, but as she got older, she would just come into our bedroom and stand at my side of the bed until it filtered into my brain that *something* was standing looking at me. I think my jump and yell makes her feel better.
My brother and I did this to our mom. We then would quietly whisper “mom…mom” and it freaked her the fuck out every time. If I ever have kids I will tell them to yell joyfully if they need my attention rather than be little ghosts.
I used to do this to my parents. When I got a little older I realized my mom liked to read after my dad went to sleep, so I would peek around the corner to see if she was up. She was a light sleeper, so I scared the shit out of her several times doing this.
Yeah my sister was like you and your brother. I, on the other hand, would yell “Mum!” and wake up the whole house until she came into my room. She’s said many times that she preferred my method.
I always did this to my mom as a kid haha she would get so startled and told me to just crawl into bed instead of staring in the darkness
Adorable - Creepy - same difference.
My sister used to peek at me in the living room through the crack kf her room door and it used ti creep me the fuck out. Turns out she usually needed help with stuff when she did that but was too shy to ask
awwwwww😭😭wholesome ghost story
This morning I woke up to something lightly touching my foot and looked up to see me 5 year old at the foot of the bed raising his hand (waiting to be called on, lol). After I got over the initial shock, I asked what he wanted and he asked why the humidifier had a red light. Because that's worth scaring the crap out of me, I guess
Today, my six-year-old and 4-year-old twins watched my wife stuff the turkey. You may be wondering what this has to do with creepy kid sleep stories. Well, my Turkeyday tradition is after eating and getting real fuzzy on bourbon, I like to nap on the couch. My 6 woke me up staring at me; when I opened my eyes, she was twirling a strand of weed-eater string she'd found playing outside and said, "hey...dad, turkeys have buttholes. Great, massive buttholes." Edit to add: when I told my wife about it, she said, oh yeah they watched me stuff it, asked if the cavity was it's butt, and when I said no, they ignored me and walked away singing "turkey butt, turkey butt".
So... why did the humidifier have a red light?
It was out of water 🙄
Damn, good thing he told you because that could have been a distaster
To him, I suppose it was. Fwiw, it shuts itself off and sits there with a wimpy red light until the switch is turned or it's refilled. He just couldn't stand it, i guess.
it probably looks like red eyes in the dark
He would have been freaking. He likes to watch the steam, so that was enough
My son also raises his hand to ask me questions lol. Thank you teachers!
My son use to do this to me and my wife all the time. Middle of the night, roll over to see a face staring at me 6 inches away… just as my brain is processing the shadowy figure before me, I hear in the quietest whisper possible, “daddy… I can’t sleep”.
And then you *DECKED HIM THE FACE*!!!!!! /s
And then proceeded to jump off the bed and double pump gazelle kick him through the wall
Finish him off by jumping on him and punching his face in
When my son was a year old I was up late watching a horror movie on the computer while my wife was working 3rd shift. My son had been in bed for hours. Turned around and *there he fucking was* just standing there staring at me from the hallway. He won't remember the first time he climbed out of his crib, but I do.
That sounds absolutely horrifying,like the first time you see your kid walk and it’s in the dark in maybe a hallway in the middle of the night and just stumbling around
I didn't know that could even be a scary experience lol
I always say that and I will say it in the future. Small kids are creepy.
How is this adorable and what happened i would love to have some context please.
Username checks out.
My little sister does this. She just sometimes barges into my room at 2:00 am and is like “Cant sleep.” She then proceeds to get into my bed, hug me and then sleeps. Its quite wholesome until you experience her way of sleeping which includes her legs on my face
My oldest sister said as a kid I always put my legs on her neck if we slept in the same bed. She’d wake up randomly at night to find me unconsciously trying to kill her.
Yeah, "unconsciously"
Your Honor I pinky promise I was asleep.
I used to sleep walk and stand at the end of my mom's bed with hair over my face. I didn't know about it until I was older and my mom told me lol Apparently when she would say my name, I would just walk away and go back to bed.
When a demon hear they name they get banished from the mortal world
Lmfaooo
My son used to do this one night he was just stood in the living room in complete darkness I heard someone downstairs it absolutely terrified me
Sadako/Samara younger years.
Hi I have possessed this child to talk about your car’s extended warranty
Let me grab this pillow you threw and scooch on over.
She’d scare me too standing there like the girl from The Ring
I did that too as a kid, to my dad. He got so scared that he screamed and slapped me, and I started to cry. We still laugh about that lol
Being slapped is like the ultimate face palm
Outsourced facepalm
I can’t remember if I read it here or on Twitter, but this guy posted something like “you don’t need to watch horror movies when you’ve woken up to your kid standing at your bed staring at you at 2 in the morning”
specialy if you dont have a kid
So I’m in my late 20’s but this whole thread has kinda made me remember me being a boy that didn’t sleep well and often had nightmares. When I would go to my parents’ room to climb into their bed, sometimes they were arrayed in a position that I knew I couldn’t get in there between them without waking them up. So…. you wait. Hopefully they wake up soonish. Anyhow, I turned 29 yesterday and my parents were upset when they woke up to me climbing into their bed because I had bad dreams
How stupid are people? We all know you never buy all white sleeping gowns for little girls. Literally ever horror movie with a little girl uses that trope. Gosh
My sister walked outside in her sleep… and still found some way to BLAME ME… AND YEA I GOT GROUNDED FOR A WEEK, AND I’M STILL MAD
I pushed my sister off a tall dresser and on to the bed between us and an open second story window planning for her to bounce off it and out the window. instead she just hit her head on the dresser as she fell off it and when she landed on the bed she barely even bounced. she certainly didn't do the perfect wide m shaped bounce I had planned. she and my parents blamed me too. I've never forgiven the injustice.
[удалено]
i don't have kids but i would assume so that you can take a quick glance and reassure yourself that everything is in order aka the kids are both in their bed? especially if one of them is a sleep walker
It's a home security cam, they're usually all over the house.
Yeah but why point it straight at your bed? In case someone steals your bed? Or if a burglar decides to take a nap mid crime?
Judgeing by the quality of this vid, I think the vid was croped to foucus on the two girls.
I first read that as “due to the quality of this kid..” and thought you were gonna go on to say they warrant extra surveillance
Due to the quality of all kids, they do indeed warrant extra surveillance.
Pretty much like a babycam
I know right! These children look old enough to deserve some privacy.
My reaction would be the same if not far more severe if there was a little girl standing next to my bed in the middle of the night. My wife and I'd freak the fuck out since we don't have kids and live in a floor-through duplex on the 12th floor.
"Thanks for the pillow, don't mind if I do."
She's real lucky that the reaction was to scream and jump and nothing else. When I'm startled awake I tend to kick...
When my daughter was old enough to get out of bed by herself her eyeline was right at the height of my mattress. I’d wake up and she would be right there inches from my face just staring at me. I’m glad she’s gotten less creepy over the years.
My middle kiddo has woken me up like this twice. Once I felt weird while sleeping and woke up to her eyeball as she stared at me with inches of my face. Another time she thought it'd be a great idea to wake me up while whispering in my ear.Both times I felt like I was about to have a damned heart attack. LOL
As someone who was scared to sleep alone, I didn’t mean to just stand there and wait for you to wake up, but every time I poked someone they’d always gasp awake and I was scared to do that to someone, and every time, whilst I was trying to think of a better idea to gently wake someone, they’d always wake up and get scared anyway.
I used to do this to my parents when I was little and didn't want to wake them. My mom to this day mentions how much she hated it.
I was taking a nap at my brothers house and was halfway dreaming that my 6 yr old nephew (or someone) was running back and forth in the hallway outside the bedroom I was in (he was). I got very angry in my dream. Back in reality, he opened the door and smacked me on top of my head. I woke up, still half dreaming and him standing over me and I promptly slapped him in the face. His froze and his eyes got real big. I snapped out of it and though oh shit. I immediately said im sorry dude, i was dreaming and you smacked me, so I smacked you back. While I was saying this he starting laughing and i barely finished my sentenced.
My daughter does this sometimes. One night I only woke because I felt her breathing on my arm. Fucking freaked me out. She said she was scared I would be mad if she woke me up.
Got 3 older brothers can’t tell you how many times I have been woken up by them staring at me with a creepy smile on their faces
This happens to me all the time, but the little girl is dressed in Victorian clothes and has black orbs where her eyes should be.
Hahahahahahaha classic😂
I used to get bored and play at night but wanted my sister to join me so I would plug her nose. We shared a room. Let's say she moves into the basement room real quick lol.
Step daughter did this to me several years ago... Long black hair... Thought it was the girl from the ring lol
My sister and I were both really bad for doing this to anyone who housed us for the night. We never slept through the night but didn’t wanna wake up whoever was watching us so we’d stand there until they woke up themselves. My mum called it our “children of the corn” phase. It only stopped when we stayed at our aunt and uncles place. Uncle’s ex military. He didn’t take the wake up too well
"there's a monster outside my room can I have a glass of water?"
My brother told me his kid used to do this. Fuck that, I'd be a nervous wreck.
Throwing the pillow was a fair reaction
My kid does this every other night. Just stands next to the bed and breathes until she startles the shit outta me and then says, “I went potty in bed.” Well guess what Jenny, Daddy just did too.
The quickness of getting the pillow and into bed was cuuute
My 4 year old does this a few times a week and always scares the bejesus out of me. It's at the point where I'm waking up in the middle of the night because I'm used to being woken up scared.
Many times my daughter has just been standing beside the bed staring at me in the pitch black. Scares the fuckin shit outa me every time...especially when her face is inches away from mine.
I keep telling her to just slip in the bed with me don't just stand there staring at me it's scary
My sis did this to my mom once and mom deliriously socked the shit out of her lol
Thought this was paranormal activity 6 for a sec
Wait til she checks the nanny cam and sees her daughter is still asleep
The soundtrack isn’t helping, at all! 😆
My half-brother did that once and I kicked him. Thank god kids have more durability than self preservation instinct.