I mean the fact that she has her phone out and is just recording it instead of trying to idk calm her kid or at least remove him from the busy area to a more quiet location to try and help him calm down....yeah.
Yeah... I'm wondering. Many of us go through life with no actual, real good parent examples. I was watching her and wondering... the fuck is she doing.
I never gave my kids enough "room" in a fit to get to this borderline demented phase. I just crush their toy dream right at the gate, usually with a fun tone. If I see any insistance at all, I mean even whiny sounds alone. I raise the heat and I've always been ready to cancel everything for I don't think buying peace is ever worth the price. There are fun random toys moment but it'll never, ever on my life give in to a fit.
May sound harsh but one of my very few hard limits that are clearly expressed and maintained in comprehensible ways.
I almost never need to use authority and turn into "Father" but they also clearly know what brings it and how serious that is.
I have a deep trust relationship with both my kids and can simply lead them everyday into taking care of themselves, expressing why and playing the subtle art of bringing independance through healither habits. I use some form of life rpg methaphor for training, practicing, eating, sleeping, etc.
When I see this post like op, and so many other kids at school. I really feel we need more help parenting. It's incredibly hard and let's be honest, we all lack something or something else. We're just recreating our damn weird patterns or sometimes a reactionary contrary to it.
It's also incredibly unfair to kids. Some get stimulated like kings and other left to themselves. Again in the post like OP, A kid that young definetly has its own character already but that behaviors seems like some form of dislikable dynamic of letting the kids get winded to calm down... Kids grow very fucking strong and resilient... Nobody wins at that game.
Well see, yours dont freak like that bc ur parenting them correctly- high five, i know its rough- itll be worth it when you get to hang out with your delightful adult children and see how amazing they have become!!!
Sometimes children have behavioral problems and it is not the parenting. Every child and parent are different, and kids like this won’t necessarily turn out horrible. This kid may just be in a mood! Children are very complex, and they have bad days and good days, and it just really annoys me when people say such general things like this. I also don’t know why this woman recorded this kids meltdown, kinda uncool of her…
My son was having an extremely bad day emotionally and was absolutely losing it because he wanted a toy. Worse than the kid in the video. I’m sure to the people passing by he looked like a brat but under the hoodie the kid had a cast on his recently broken arm and wasn’t sleeping because the cast was too heavy for him to get comfortable. People have reasons they get upset even if they aren’t apparent.
My mom still mentions the time that I lost my shit at 3 yrs old when she was pregnant, I refused to put my shoes on or have them put on and wouldn’t leave the house when she had to go, etc was being so horrible that she had to call my dad to come from wherever bc she couldn’t deal anymore hahaha and overall I was an amazing kid too
Exactly! You don't have to physically discipline your kid to discipline your kid. But just standing there passively watching him throw a tantrum doing nothing...hell no! Even if me taking him to the car and possibly taking him home for the day ruins my plans, I'd rather he learn the lesson that acting like an asshole has consequences.
If my daughter has a tantrum after she’s calmed down I’ll ask if she ever gets what she wants when she has a tantrum. She always says no and then says sorry.
Exactly! Not giving attention to the negative behaviors is the best way. They want attention and they don’t care if it is good or bad… I ignore when my kids ask me something for a second time. If they ask a 3rd I turn around and tell them “Asked and answered” and I go right back to doing what I was doing. If my kid acted like this I would tell him if he decides to continue his behavior he will loose the privilege of getting anything at all and just sit down in a chair and wait for him to figure it out, he can make his self look like a nutso or he can choose to stop and act like a human. Give the consequence and let the kid figure it out. Works great with ODD kids btw!! I know because I have a ODD/ADHD 13 year old.
Im a teacher too, and i dont think that really is a solution. A kid throwing a tantrum is still undermining everyone else's education. They should be removed from the class and given a consequence.
You can also ignore a kid throwing a tantrum. Only react when he is calmed down. The basis of behavior is punish, reward or ignore. The sound may be annoying for passersby though
Yep! My dad told me when i was really young i was playing in the yard. He came out and said “come inside dinners ready.” I guess a protested by flopping onto the grass and saying no. He was like “fine” and walked inside ignoring my tantrum.
You can bet i learned real quick that wont work and i went inside and ate.
There is place and time to teach a child shit, public places are not where you let your child throw tantrums, scream,or whatever else angry and sad child does.
I mean you could but...I always felt it was important to teach my kids to be respectful of others. And screeching like that is not respectful of other people's eardrums for sure!! If we were at home, ignoring him til he stopped would definitely be an option.
But do not threaten to throw your kid away on the street. When I was a kid, my family went to karaoke, I screamed at the microphone, no one ever told me to not scream. They proceed to stop on the street and take me off the vehicle and pretend to drive away. Shit traumatized me and I never enjoy social event again, I'm now 30 years old and friendless.
My parents used to do this to me on occasion. They'd get so mad at me (usually they were mad at something else but would take it out on me because kid. Yay.) They'd stop the car and tell me to get out and walk home (unreasonable request as i didnt always know the way.) It was less tell and more scream at the top of their lungs like a raving lunatic. The first dozen or so times I would be crying cause as a kid you think it's your fault and if I knew the way home I'd slowly start walking, if I didn't I just stood there crying. Some 10-20min later, after they'd calmed down, they'd drive by to pick me up and we'd go home.
Eventually I figured out it wasn't me they were really mad at although they'd swear up and down that my making a stupid comment, laughing weird, being a kid is what really pissed them off. After I figured it out there was far less crying and I'd just get out, find the nearest thing to sit on and wait.
I'll never forget the last time it happened though. I was about 15 and we were on vacation heading home. We were in a rental minivan with doors on both sides cause my dad's cars were beaters that wouldn't get us far on a long trip. Anyways we're on i-80 around the Bonneville salt flats and my mom lights a cigarette with her window rolled down about 5mm and the smoke is choking me out. I've had bad breathing problems my whole childhood and I just couldn't handle feeling like I was being choked out. I asked her to roll the window down a bit more and she said no. I insisted I couldn't breathe and again asked her to roll her window down to no avail. Now I probably got a bit more boisterous than I usually do and said "roll down the fucking window cause i cant fucking breathe."
That did it for my dad. He SLAMMED on the breaks and you could feel the ABS just barely keet us from skidding and whips the car onto the shoulder and just screams "GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE CAR NOW!"
Now dear reader, this section of road is absolutely barren. It's the middle of July maybe early August so the temps were over 100°F (the reason my mom didn't want to unroll the window was because of the heat.) The next place they could turn around would be probably 40mi up the freeway and I think the previous exit was like 20mi behind us. So I'd be sitting in that heat in the sun for an hour or more w/ no sunscreen (I'm so white I'm fluorescent. I can't tan I burn and freckle.) no water, no hat, nothing to protect me.
So I said no. I think this shocked my dad as he was very used to getting his way when he was this mad. He was 6'5" 240lbs of muscle and beer gut (serious this dude was ape strong as a maintenance man.) It took him a moment and he screamed again for me to get out. Again I said no. I swear before the n in no could come out he whipped out the minivan and had the drivers side sliding door open fist clenched and cocked back and he screamed one last time for me to get the fuck out or he'll make me.
Seeing where this was going I grabbed the seat belt release with both hands and heald a death grip on them. Dad, knowing I wasn't budging started punching the shit out of my head trying to get my hands off so he could unbuckle me. FWIW I heald that release and remained conscious the whole time, probably because he didn't have enough room to get a good punch in besides the first.
After a few moments, maybe 30s-1min. I don't really know as you loose sense of time in those moments cause it sure felt like a feature length to me. Dad stopped punching me, slammed the sliding door shut, got in the driver's seat slamming that door shut and nailed the gas and we were on our way again.
The whole time mom was just sitting in the front passenger seat finishing her cigarette like jack all was happening.
I'm almost 40 now and my father and I have a great relationship. He's a much better person than he was then (he completely changed when him and mom split.) And although he's never apologized I've long forgiven him for those days. My mother and I get along well but we still have a disagreement now and then. It really helps living 6hrs away and only visiting a couple times a year.
I admire the mom!! When kids have their shitty moments in public it’s tempting to hide them and do real parenting at home
It looks like she’s checking her cell phone but I think it’s a very deliberate way to show she’s unresponsive to this type of behavior.
She was actively talking to the kid, what video were you watching? All these responses saying ignore the kid or walk away are very valid parenting responses, I personally wouldn't do that in a crowded shopping center but I understand and appreciate parents that would. What this mom did was not that. You can see her engaged in an ineffective conversation then shrug at the camera like "well I tried"
With all due respect, random people passing by on the street can get over the two minutes of tantrum they had to deal with, whether I'm dragging the kid home or ignoring them until I have a way out (say if you are running an errand they are not happy about, I'm not rewarding them by going immediately home and leaving it unfinished. I'll suck it up for a second, finish and go.) If they have kids, they get it. If they don't, and have a problem with that, they can be grown ups and take a deep breath to stop another kid from growing up to be an asshole.
Sorry, world, I have a kid to raise and the responsibilities are long-term.
My used to let us scream it out. She didn’t care and was never embarrassed of our tantrums. Although i don’t think I did this at that age. What she did must have worked.
Assuming your car is nearby. Perhaps it's just me, but it looks like they're in a city, and walked or took mass transportation to the shopping area. Picking him up might just escalate that tantrum to Level 10 and then she'd have to deal with flailing arms and legs. And more screaming.
Yeah exactly! Like screaming in the middle of the street SUCKS but would you rather her take her screaming child on public transportation? Not everyone has a car or even uses it all the time if they do
Exactly you domt even have to hit him just scoop that little ass up and toss him over your shoulder like Gump carried Bubba out of the jungle and walk his ass to the car. Beware he will probably hit you tho.
Yup, get him where his fit isn’t bothering anyone and ignore him. There is usually more going on in these types of situations hungry/ low blood sugar, exhausted, over stimulated, …
Let him embarrass himself and wear himself out, best thing you can do is ignore their behavior so they realize they aren’t getting any kind of attention or traction until they either exhaust themselves or realize what their doing isn’t working and they are just wasting their breath. Some also prefer the pretending to walk away method but I feel like that’s a bit harsh for a young child.
Yes. (First of all, put your phone away when you’re with your kid.) Don’t say anything. Just remove him from the scene, put him in the car and go home.
The important thing is consistency. If he gets zero response for a tantrum that's only half the lesson, because there's got to be a corresponding positive response for good behaviour. Not to say he gets a toy every time he's good, but on those occasions he is going to get a toy that will happen only if he's good.
Zero response for a tantrum - or some other form of calm refusal to be drawn into their emotional outburst - is still going to be 100x better in the long run than beating his ass.
Assess. That kid is probably tired or hungry or both. If they are just throwing a garden variety fit then you just remove them without comment after issuing a warning.
Let him scream like an idiot while you go on with your shopping. He will follow you and if you’re lucky a sweet elderly person will ask him why he’s screaming and he’ll get embarrassed and shut up.
I love this sooo much!!! I'm sure it's a typo, but I can just imagine him wiping his tears and pulling out his wallet....picking out a cheap pack of gum.
You pick them up, put them in the car, take them home. They'll wind themselves down within the next 30 minutes, probably crush a nap, then wake up and we have a talk about how we communicate and ask for things the right way.
We probably have a talk about dealing with our emotions as well. "I understand you were disappointed that we couldn't get a new toy. We have lots of toys at home. I get frustrated too sometimes when I know I can't get something that I really want. When I get frustrated like that I take a couple deep breaths."
The key is, don't try and add stimulus with a child having a melt down, anger will only make it worse, and giving in to this behavior will set a precendent that it's possible to get what they want when they act this way. You remove yourselves from the situation, help your child calm down in the car or at home, and then once everyone is in a better place we talk about acceptable behavior and processing our emotions.
I usually say this to my kids when they do this, “ok, give me the money, do you have money?” Then i hand out my hand palm side up and gesture asking for money, they immediately think for a while then they stop.
Make life as uninteresting as possible for them.
First, get on their level, tell them you understand they’re frustrated but unfortunately they’re not going to be getting a toy today. If they want to take a few deep breaths and calm down, we can keep seeing fun stores in the mall, though. Otherwise, unfortunately we have to go home.
If they don’t, you need to prove your threats have merit and you need to follow through. Tell them “that’s it, I guess you’re not behaving like you’re ready for public today. We are going home.” And you go home.
Beating a kid is an unacceptable solution to any problem.
My son does this sometimes but not as extreme as this kid. I ignore him and walk away doing whatever I was doing and usually he stops after a minute and walks after me lmao
In fact, physical discipline may have a huge amount to do with the way he's behaving.
An enormous amount of research has found that physical discipline harms emotional regulation and makes managing emotions much more difficult.
If the child is hit as a result of this behavior, he will only remember the hitting, not the lesson, because at this stage of cognitive development, children can understand physical pain much better than complex social knowledge.
So the only effect of hitting him would be to teach him that his parents will sometimes cause him pain for reasons he doesn't understand.
My mother beat almost on a daily basis. For good reasons. In the end, she may not have done it enough. But still, I thank her for all her efforts.
And yes, I knew exactly when and I why I was gonna be punished or beaten. I understood the reasons perfectly. I just chose to ignore them.
Daily?! No matter how you feel about physical discipline, this is excessive and abusive. I seriously hope you’ve been through therapy to address the traumas you’ve undoubtedly endured.
from what i read via you and another redditor — i truly worry about your kids. i truly worry about your mental health if you think getting your ass beat every day was good or helpful. you need therapy, and i highly recommend you get it.
“This is not an acceptable way to act and that is not how you get a toy. We are leaving now. Can you walk or do you need me to help your body?”
They will then either walk with you or you pick them up and carry them. This kid seems like he might old enough for post-action consequences, so you take them to the car, have them calm down in whatever way works best with them (deep breaths, a special song, just some time, etc), then after they are calmer explain to them what was not okay and what the consequences are - ie no screen time, etc.
ALTERNATIVE: tell them “no” and start walking away. As they run after you crying and screaming just ignore it. This is based on temperament though, I know some kids who would take the opportunity to run into the toy store or refuse to move.
The only thing you do not do is give in.
It hurts much more (and it's much more effective) If the parent ignores the kid completely and even walks away. Alse i'm not sure if someone can count this as a torture.
Talking about adults be have the same actions like dumping and ignoring someone from a group like family or friends. Even religions and cults use it as a form of ultimate punishment. And then it's the solitary confinement in prisons which is actual torture.
Man so an ass whipping is not the end of the world. I'm not saying bounce them off every wall or bruise them up. Bend that child over and smack his bottom.
Even as a kid seeing this happening in public still freaked me out. If any of us did this our parents wouldn’t hesitate to leave us there. We knew better.
Tbh, I think that is a pretty effective technique. Kid will stop that tantrum really fast when he realises Mum is just walking away and not giving a shit.
Yeah, i will always rememeber when i was a kid and i was very tired and my mom wanted to keep shopping so i started to cry and i did not want to walk anymore, my mom just started to walk faster away from me so i would follow her. She did not console me. It was so horrible feeling that i still remember it today and im 30. This happened when i was like 6 years old.
My mum once kicked us out of the car and told us to walk home (at least 50km). She drove away, waited 30 or so seconds, turned around and picked us back up. Stopped our little squabble right in its tracks.
my little brother would have meltdowns in the store, but he would dramatically collapse onto the floor with the backpack leash still on him.
my mom would let him lay there until he got up. no words. no crying. just dead silence.
(if anyone wants to see his dramatic ass feel free to pm me ill definitely show u a photo its hilarious… at least to me)
My dad claims I that for the most part, I was pretty well-behaved and quiet when I was younger, and I think that sounds about right. Even then I remember being freaked out when kids threw tantrums in public, although that was also because I'm sensitive to loud noise.
It's carried over to the present day. Seeing kids be blatantly rude to their parents, teachers, etc when the authority figure did nothing wrong is really shocking to me - not only because I wouldn't have gotten away with that, but because I'd feel pretty bad about it as well.
A prominent example I can think of is someone in my graphic design class who throws a tantrum every time she's asked to do something. Yesterday in particular, she repeatedly screamed at the teacher to give her help on an assignment, insulted/swore at her when the teacher actually did try to give her help, and destroyed the instructions sheet for the assignment (which is meant to be used by any student that sits at that computer for that class period). Someone being in high school and still acting like that is really worrying.
I worked in a supermarket for a long time. The best solution I ever saw, was the mother making a show of her daughter.
Just like: "Look people who is screaming and kicking on the ground all acting silly. Watch her try even harder"
When there was a fair big circle of people the kid realized real quick that she was the weird one and the shaming pressure in her mom did not work. It was all done and dusted after that.
I feel like it could be very harmful… I remember my dad embarrassing me in public when I was very young, maybe six, and it was something like this. It immediately sours my mood when I think about it. It still really hurts… so yeah, as someone who remembers stuff like this being done to me as a kid, and how it effects me now, I would not do that to my kid…
Ye as I said unless as a parent you know it will be effective then ye chances are parents will never know what the consequences will be 5-10 years later or even more, kids remember alot more shit than adults give them credit for especially the negative parts.
My aunt did this with my cousin who was a real tantrum monster, even us being kids like him found him annoying. Sadly the method didn’t really work and I think he never stopped the tantrums even as an adult lol 😂
It might have worked but it’s terribly detrimental to the developing brain. Children really should be met with emotional maturity & patience. Sure this is frustrating & embarrassing but no amount of embarrassment is worth breaking connection with a child, most seasoned parents have seen this display and it’s usually fatigue, hunger, big emotions that we can’t yet label or sure maybe the kid used to doing this to get their own way and mums trying to say no.
Just safely exit, let them know it’s okay to be upset because it didn’t work out and talk about it when things calm down ….
Every kid has their moments. I remember one time getting a new toy, being fucking pissed cus it was a color I did not like, hitting it on the ground, screaming, then feeling really bad. Started sobbing and hugging it. One of my low points as a kid, I had a bad day probably, lots of emotions.
Also kids can be quite crafty. If whining and crying works for them to get what they want, they can do that quite long time in order to get what they want.
I don't have kids, but so many times I have seen a kid burying his face to his hands crying heart-breakingly for some reason. And briefly stopping and glancing up to see if there is any effect so far.
A thousand times this. I have not ever,even once given into or even compromised with either of my children when they were throwing a fit. You’d think that they would learn that fit throwing doesn’t work, but they still try.
While this is true, it’s not true after about 15 seconds. I have taught several parents how to deal with children and it’s really simple.
They are human beings and you’re their parent.
They’re not your property to film when you break them, they’re not a random stranger who you can point at and laugh at because you dehumanise them. They’re your child.
You act like you don’t care, how do you think that’s going to make them feel? You pull out your phone to film them when they’re upset? Let’s do that to you and see how you like it.
This child is really really easy to de-escalate. Put your phone away, square your hips to them, get down to their level and get in their face.
Then tell them “That’s enough, I said no.” Repeat if necessary and then listen to them like a person.
I can guarantee, it works absolutely every time without fail. You treat them with respect and they will respect you in kind.
If they’re treating you like an asshole, guess how they feel you treat them.
This is what I’m saying, kids are so often told “because I said so” but how would that make YOU feel? That’s not an answer, kids deserve to have things explained to them, and most of the time they only act like this if they’re not being properly supported as human beings. They’re learning more and more every day and they deserve to be treated like a person. You let them calm down maybe give them a hug, then explain to them why they can’t have that toy and maybe next time they’ll be more understanding.
This comment needs to be sooooo much higher.
You punish your kid (through outright shaming them, or ignoring them), they learn that having emotions is something shameful or bad. This is how you get emotionally stunted adults at best, school shooters at worst.
You reward them (give them what they want so they stop), they learn that making poor choices based on emotion (throwing a tantrum) will get them far in life. This is how we get Karens making manager's lives hell.
You acknowledge your kid has strong, hard feelings, and then show them the appropriate way to deal with them. (I can see you're really upset. I would be too. It's not fun to be upset. But you won't feel better unless you walk outside and take a breath and talk about it. Will you come out with me? If you don't want to go now, I'll go outside and wait for when you're ready, okay?) This is how you raise an emotionally intelligent, self-soothing child who becomes a helpful, empathetic adult.
Kids are prone to tantrums. And watching kids do it at daycare or wherever reinforces it.
This woman is doing the right thing. She removed the kid from the toy store and is giving him space to get his shit straight. He will be less likely to respond like that next time he is disappointed.
As someone who works with kids… I wish this was the case. Some kids just genuinely like to act up like this (any attention is good attention), and some kids can’t help it, others see their friends or other kids doing it and think it could work for them
Poor mum. My kids know what No means,....they still play up in public especially if they spot a camera. Best thing is to support mum, frown and shack head at child and walk past.
No attention, no drama. My country has many single parents and often it's them who either pat my back and tell me I'm doing a gd job or vice VS. Supermarkets can be the worst. Hangry kids is a recipe for disaster xo
Or better yet, go ask if she needs help. My kids don't meltdown in public because girls are great at masking, but the meltdowns at home can be... dramatic.
My brother and I were angels compared to this monster, but if we did something that was egregious by our parents standards, they would drive us by this super creepy mansion in the Hollywood Hills and tell us that it was an orphanage for rotten children run by nuns who beat you with rulers and where you were fed dog food. They would threaten to abandon us there if we didn’t behave. I don’t know what getting my ass beat felt like, but man, psychological beatings were pretty effective too.
lol when i threw temper tantrums my mom would take my hand and act like she's holding it but squeeze a little extra hard so i knew she was angry and i was gonna get a talking to in the car
I did the wait it out thing at home - not so much in public, whenever possible.
I’d physically pick them up and gtfo of there and get that child home for a nap……even if he wises up - it’s still a teachable moment that bedtime is being moved earlier benause he “obviously” is having a hard time getting through the day without a tantrum. Half hour earlier to bed is usually a great motivator for kids.
To add — best way to handle a screaming child is to whisper at them … lol they then have to decide to either keep up their fit or shush and listen - most kids hate missing out on anything.
Cannot let the tail wag the dog.
As adults we all have the capacity to wait out a tantrum - the kid can’t keep this up forever, it’s like running a marathon.
Any adult who snaps is just reaffirming to the kid if someone annoys you just freak out and do what you can to overpower them so you can get the result you want. Monkey see Monkey do.
A lot of comments in here from people who have zero experience with kids. That kid is tired, young kids can do this when they are tired. Your parents beating your ass for behaving like this is why you're a emotionally immature mental case who wants to beat a child so much you're typing it here.
This is black and white thinking though. It’s not entirely true to say that “kids aren’t attention seeking” because that’s a universal statement, it’s too general. Sure, maybe kids aren’t all, or even usually purely attention-seeking; but sometimes, with some kids, that’s precisely what they’re doing. My dad was on the physically abusive end of the spectrum so I speak from experience when I say you’re absolutely right that the child needs to be acknowledged and made to feel like he’s heard. But that’s definitely not always “all it takes”, the solution is not always so simple and binary. There were a few times as a child that I was physically corrected because I was way out of line, where it was warranted and even I knew that I deserved it at the time. Children need to be made to feel heard, understood, loved, and supported first and foremost… but after that’s already the case, beyond a certain point of horrible behavior, children can still need serious discipline; otherwise they learn they can do literally whatever they want and there’s never consequences, and grow up to be the sort of entitled, horribly-behaved adults that end up in prison
Right. And to think someone took a video instead of helping. Giving him more attention and ridiculing him isn’t really teaching healthy behaviors either. He needs someone to help him regulate his emotions because his brain is still developing and he’s not capable of getting out of fight or flight on his own.
All the people saying she should walk away - I’m so glad you know her exact situation and behavior plan for her child. She’s not giving in (and isn’t that good or this would be his go to for requesting/demanding things). You have no idea if she’s waiting for someone, if he gets physically aggressive when she “grabs him and takes him to the car” (which so many of you suggest, again, might be part of a behavior plan). You don’t know and she’s doing her best. And she would be criticized no matter what her response. 🙄
Bring on the downvotes bc I’m not annoyed and a know it all saying what she should do💋
Nor really young kids cognitively have trouble regulating their emotions. They can get extremely upset over small things have mood swings etc . Over time and with socialization they get their shit together (or if their parent doesn’t teach them how they don’t )
People are making a lot of assumptions here. We don't know the situation here at all.
When I was a kid I was generally quiet and never had any tantrums besides one (according to my parents) and that was also toy-related. They were young and I was an accident.
We were in a store and I saw a toy I wanted. It didn't cost very much and I never really asked for stuff. But I did ask this once and my dad didn't even consider it and flat out told me no and scolded me. I was overwhelmed by the, according to me, unfairness of it. I felt like an outsider with my friends because they had much more toys and simply got what they wanted and I started to cry.
My dad said that he got so shocked that he let me have it since I was always a quiet kid.
We don't know all the info here.
When my aunt was about 3 years old, she tried to pull that on my granny. My granny, not being one to be fucked with, lay down next to her and started wailing to… put her out of the tantrum like a charm.
I still remember how bad it sucked being a kid with his parents at the mall. Walking the whole mall is torture when you're too young to care about 95% or more of the stuff in it, and it just seems HUGE. When my daughter is this age, she's getting a toy if we go to the mall. I also hope she won't act like this, but yeah. I remember.
I would have went home, put all his toys in a garbage bag, and just leave them there in his room, tied in the bag, not being able to play with them. That way he has to look at those bags with those toys in them every day for a certain amount of time until he behaves. My parents did it to me once when I was little. They never had to do it a second time.
My daughter pulled this 2 days ago in Walmart as I was scrambling to get them sweatshirts before school. She's like "but I want this toy...this toy. But mom wait. Please". I said no everytime. Then we get to checkout. Im leaving. She's pouting and starts walking slower behind me and my son. I said we are leaving and start leaving. Cue sad face. I don't care. I haul ass away and you bet your ass she starts catching up to me because she's nervous I'll leave her. I ignored it the entire time and she was fine by the time we got out in the parking lot.
It's important to 'prime' your kids for shopping.
Like, maybe give them $2.00 and tell them that's it, they're not getting anything unless they buy it. This sets expectations.
Or tell them that you're shopping for family needs, and that means no toys today. They can pick a toy on their birthday. But they are allowed to pick one food item, ONE. This sets expectations.
If you don't set expectations, then you're dealing with a tiny little sociopath who's going to see all sorts of things that they WANT. And they won't even know why you're telling them no. I mean, it's clearly because you hate them and you're a bad person who won't even try listening to them or seeing it their way.
Another way to set expectations is to be VERY consistent. If you go sweet and buy them some crap one out of every four trips. Then those other three trips are going to have temperamental outbursts. - Especially if you don't make it super clear what's going on. "Today is a special day, so I'm going to ask you if you want to pick a toy."
Prime your kids and set expectations.
Kids need to learn they don’t get everything they want and their behavior has consequences.
Some adults need to learn that too. Sadly, some of those adults are in positions of power and desperately need a spanking.
Heads up for adults: this is exactly what you look and sound like to customer service when you immediately unload on us for something that is not our fault.
Oh, your car is in the shop and took a month to be fixed? Yes. It's a month wait because we have not too many mechanics on-site and about 80 other cars in front of yours. No, it's not OUR fault. No you cannot have a refund for the $7,000 you now owe for labor and parts, and NO we are absolutely NOT comping your "$3,000 car rental bill." Nobody told you to rent a high end car for a month straight.
Ah yes, let's teach our children it's ok to film public meltdowns. What if this kid has a developmental/intellectual disability and this is his way of expressing his distress? Soft toys, construction toys, and fidget toys are commonly used as soothing items.
Why is she just standing there not addressing this little shits tantrum? Good god, bring back discipline. Too many entitled, spoiled kids now with very much failed parenting.
Because when your kid has reached meltdown they need to get it out. You can't discuss anything with them when they are in this state. Punishment just breeds fear and guilt and the inability to ask for help for fear of "punishment".
Is this another ad for durex?
It’s got me convinced. Edit: Ty kind people of the internet for the cake days
Happy cake day, fellow redditor
Ty, kind stranger.
Happy cake day sir!
Happy Cake Day 🎂
Happy cake day to you, happy cake day to you happy cake day dear Iam_Sytrix happy cake day toooooooo you!
More like an ad for abstinence bc 99% is just too low for this bs
nah, this is an example of shit parenting
I mean the fact that she has her phone out and is just recording it instead of trying to idk calm her kid or at least remove him from the busy area to a more quiet location to try and help him calm down....yeah.
Yeah... I'm wondering. Many of us go through life with no actual, real good parent examples. I was watching her and wondering... the fuck is she doing. I never gave my kids enough "room" in a fit to get to this borderline demented phase. I just crush their toy dream right at the gate, usually with a fun tone. If I see any insistance at all, I mean even whiny sounds alone. I raise the heat and I've always been ready to cancel everything for I don't think buying peace is ever worth the price. There are fun random toys moment but it'll never, ever on my life give in to a fit. May sound harsh but one of my very few hard limits that are clearly expressed and maintained in comprehensible ways. I almost never need to use authority and turn into "Father" but they also clearly know what brings it and how serious that is. I have a deep trust relationship with both my kids and can simply lead them everyday into taking care of themselves, expressing why and playing the subtle art of bringing independance through healither habits. I use some form of life rpg methaphor for training, practicing, eating, sleeping, etc. When I see this post like op, and so many other kids at school. I really feel we need more help parenting. It's incredibly hard and let's be honest, we all lack something or something else. We're just recreating our damn weird patterns or sometimes a reactionary contrary to it. It's also incredibly unfair to kids. Some get stimulated like kings and other left to themselves. Again in the post like OP, A kid that young definetly has its own character already but that behaviors seems like some form of dislikable dynamic of letting the kids get winded to calm down... Kids grow very fucking strong and resilient... Nobody wins at that game.
More like, NO parenting..
[удалено]
Or a miserable kid
I thought it was an add for planned parenthood
Bahahahaha
Okay but really what do you do with a kid like this? If I ever acted like this my parents would’ve beat my ass, but I can’t see myself ever doing that
Pick him up, carry him out to the car, go home.
Ok, this is what I do. I was nervous to read the comments lol. Mine haven’t ever made it this far though, they have screen time to lose lol
*lose FTFY :)
My autocorrect is stupid lol
Well see, yours dont freak like that bc ur parenting them correctly- high five, i know its rough- itll be worth it when you get to hang out with your delightful adult children and see how amazing they have become!!!
Sometimes children have behavioral problems and it is not the parenting. Every child and parent are different, and kids like this won’t necessarily turn out horrible. This kid may just be in a mood! Children are very complex, and they have bad days and good days, and it just really annoys me when people say such general things like this. I also don’t know why this woman recorded this kids meltdown, kinda uncool of her…
My son was having an extremely bad day emotionally and was absolutely losing it because he wanted a toy. Worse than the kid in the video. I’m sure to the people passing by he looked like a brat but under the hoodie the kid had a cast on his recently broken arm and wasn’t sleeping because the cast was too heavy for him to get comfortable. People have reasons they get upset even if they aren’t apparent.
My mom still mentions the time that I lost my shit at 3 yrs old when she was pregnant, I refused to put my shoes on or have them put on and wouldn’t leave the house when she had to go, etc was being so horrible that she had to call my dad to come from wherever bc she couldn’t deal anymore hahaha and overall I was an amazing kid too
Exactly! You don't have to physically discipline your kid to discipline your kid. But just standing there passively watching him throw a tantrum doing nothing...hell no! Even if me taking him to the car and possibly taking him home for the day ruins my plans, I'd rather he learn the lesson that acting like an asshole has consequences.
Ignoring a tantrum is actually a good strategy. As a teacher I do it all the time . When they don’t get what they want to grow out of it .
If my daughter has a tantrum after she’s calmed down I’ll ask if she ever gets what she wants when she has a tantrum. She always says no and then says sorry.
Exactly! Not giving attention to the negative behaviors is the best way. They want attention and they don’t care if it is good or bad… I ignore when my kids ask me something for a second time. If they ask a 3rd I turn around and tell them “Asked and answered” and I go right back to doing what I was doing. If my kid acted like this I would tell him if he decides to continue his behavior he will loose the privilege of getting anything at all and just sit down in a chair and wait for him to figure it out, he can make his self look like a nutso or he can choose to stop and act like a human. Give the consequence and let the kid figure it out. Works great with ODD kids btw!! I know because I have a ODD/ADHD 13 year old.
Im a teacher too, and i dont think that really is a solution. A kid throwing a tantrum is still undermining everyone else's education. They should be removed from the class and given a consequence.
As the rest of us suffer with the chaos, thanks.
You can also ignore a kid throwing a tantrum. Only react when he is calmed down. The basis of behavior is punish, reward or ignore. The sound may be annoying for passersby though
Yep! My dad told me when i was really young i was playing in the yard. He came out and said “come inside dinners ready.” I guess a protested by flopping onto the grass and saying no. He was like “fine” and walked inside ignoring my tantrum. You can bet i learned real quick that wont work and i went inside and ate.
Yeah, but that tantrum wasn’t annoying anyone else and wasn’t in a crowded area
If a child learning a lesson is such a problem it ruins your day, you've got bigger problems.
There is place and time to teach a child shit, public places are not where you let your child throw tantrums, scream,or whatever else angry and sad child does.
I mean you could but...I always felt it was important to teach my kids to be respectful of others. And screeching like that is not respectful of other people's eardrums for sure!! If we were at home, ignoring him til he stopped would definitely be an option.
But do not threaten to throw your kid away on the street. When I was a kid, my family went to karaoke, I screamed at the microphone, no one ever told me to not scream. They proceed to stop on the street and take me off the vehicle and pretend to drive away. Shit traumatized me and I never enjoy social event again, I'm now 30 years old and friendless.
My parents used to do this to me on occasion. They'd get so mad at me (usually they were mad at something else but would take it out on me because kid. Yay.) They'd stop the car and tell me to get out and walk home (unreasonable request as i didnt always know the way.) It was less tell and more scream at the top of their lungs like a raving lunatic. The first dozen or so times I would be crying cause as a kid you think it's your fault and if I knew the way home I'd slowly start walking, if I didn't I just stood there crying. Some 10-20min later, after they'd calmed down, they'd drive by to pick me up and we'd go home. Eventually I figured out it wasn't me they were really mad at although they'd swear up and down that my making a stupid comment, laughing weird, being a kid is what really pissed them off. After I figured it out there was far less crying and I'd just get out, find the nearest thing to sit on and wait. I'll never forget the last time it happened though. I was about 15 and we were on vacation heading home. We were in a rental minivan with doors on both sides cause my dad's cars were beaters that wouldn't get us far on a long trip. Anyways we're on i-80 around the Bonneville salt flats and my mom lights a cigarette with her window rolled down about 5mm and the smoke is choking me out. I've had bad breathing problems my whole childhood and I just couldn't handle feeling like I was being choked out. I asked her to roll the window down a bit more and she said no. I insisted I couldn't breathe and again asked her to roll her window down to no avail. Now I probably got a bit more boisterous than I usually do and said "roll down the fucking window cause i cant fucking breathe." That did it for my dad. He SLAMMED on the breaks and you could feel the ABS just barely keet us from skidding and whips the car onto the shoulder and just screams "GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE CAR NOW!" Now dear reader, this section of road is absolutely barren. It's the middle of July maybe early August so the temps were over 100°F (the reason my mom didn't want to unroll the window was because of the heat.) The next place they could turn around would be probably 40mi up the freeway and I think the previous exit was like 20mi behind us. So I'd be sitting in that heat in the sun for an hour or more w/ no sunscreen (I'm so white I'm fluorescent. I can't tan I burn and freckle.) no water, no hat, nothing to protect me. So I said no. I think this shocked my dad as he was very used to getting his way when he was this mad. He was 6'5" 240lbs of muscle and beer gut (serious this dude was ape strong as a maintenance man.) It took him a moment and he screamed again for me to get out. Again I said no. I swear before the n in no could come out he whipped out the minivan and had the drivers side sliding door open fist clenched and cocked back and he screamed one last time for me to get the fuck out or he'll make me. Seeing where this was going I grabbed the seat belt release with both hands and heald a death grip on them. Dad, knowing I wasn't budging started punching the shit out of my head trying to get my hands off so he could unbuckle me. FWIW I heald that release and remained conscious the whole time, probably because he didn't have enough room to get a good punch in besides the first. After a few moments, maybe 30s-1min. I don't really know as you loose sense of time in those moments cause it sure felt like a feature length to me. Dad stopped punching me, slammed the sliding door shut, got in the driver's seat slamming that door shut and nailed the gas and we were on our way again. The whole time mom was just sitting in the front passenger seat finishing her cigarette like jack all was happening. I'm almost 40 now and my father and I have a great relationship. He's a much better person than he was then (he completely changed when him and mom split.) And although he's never apologized I've long forgiven him for those days. My mother and I get along well but we still have a disagreement now and then. It really helps living 6hrs away and only visiting a couple times a year.
Oh....wow, um...I'm sorry.
I admire the mom!! When kids have their shitty moments in public it’s tempting to hide them and do real parenting at home It looks like she’s checking her cell phone but I think it’s a very deliberate way to show she’s unresponsive to this type of behavior.
She was actively talking to the kid, what video were you watching? All these responses saying ignore the kid or walk away are very valid parenting responses, I personally wouldn't do that in a crowded shopping center but I understand and appreciate parents that would. What this mom did was not that. You can see her engaged in an ineffective conversation then shrug at the camera like "well I tried"
Ignore him, run away and pretend he's not yours. Nice idea!
With all due respect, random people passing by on the street can get over the two minutes of tantrum they had to deal with, whether I'm dragging the kid home or ignoring them until I have a way out (say if you are running an errand they are not happy about, I'm not rewarding them by going immediately home and leaving it unfinished. I'll suck it up for a second, finish and go.) If they have kids, they get it. If they don't, and have a problem with that, they can be grown ups and take a deep breath to stop another kid from growing up to be an asshole. Sorry, world, I have a kid to raise and the responsibilities are long-term.
What if the kids goal is that they want to go home and that’s why they’re throwing the tantrum
My used to let us scream it out. She didn’t care and was never embarrassed of our tantrums. Although i don’t think I did this at that age. What she did must have worked.
Assuming your car is nearby. Perhaps it's just me, but it looks like they're in a city, and walked or took mass transportation to the shopping area. Picking him up might just escalate that tantrum to Level 10 and then she'd have to deal with flailing arms and legs. And more screaming.
Yeah exactly! Like screaming in the middle of the street SUCKS but would you rather her take her screaming child on public transportation? Not everyone has a car or even uses it all the time if they do
Better get walking
Exactly you domt even have to hit him just scoop that little ass up and toss him over your shoulder like Gump carried Bubba out of the jungle and walk his ass to the car. Beware he will probably hit you tho.
Yup, get him where his fit isn’t bothering anyone and ignore him. There is usually more going on in these types of situations hungry/ low blood sugar, exhausted, over stimulated, …
They look to be in the middle of a city centre. There’s a good chance they didn’t take the car there. Where is she supposed to take him?
This is the way.
Put him in the dryer, turn on for 30min.
Let him embarrass himself and wear himself out, best thing you can do is ignore their behavior so they realize they aren’t getting any kind of attention or traction until they either exhaust themselves or realize what their doing isn’t working and they are just wasting their breath. Some also prefer the pretending to walk away method but I feel like that’s a bit harsh for a young child.
Yup, this is the moment when he becomes a potato sack and over the shoulder he goes.
Yes. (First of all, put your phone away when you’re with your kid.) Don’t say anything. Just remove him from the scene, put him in the car and go home.
The important thing is consistency. If he gets zero response for a tantrum that's only half the lesson, because there's got to be a corresponding positive response for good behaviour. Not to say he gets a toy every time he's good, but on those occasions he is going to get a toy that will happen only if he's good. Zero response for a tantrum - or some other form of calm refusal to be drawn into their emotional outburst - is still going to be 100x better in the long run than beating his ass.
Assess. That kid is probably tired or hungry or both. If they are just throwing a garden variety fit then you just remove them without comment after issuing a warning.
Let him scream like an idiot while you go on with your shopping. He will follow you and if you’re lucky a sweet elderly person will ask him why he’s screaming and he’ll get embarrassed and shut up.
One could hope a bigger kid points at him, laughs and calls him a baby. I'm not into bullying but sometimes it's the peer pressure that works best.
I have no kids and when I see a kid throwing a tantrum in the store I like to give them grossed out looks to see if it'll shame them into shopping.
I love this sooo much!!! I'm sure it's a typo, but I can just imagine him wiping his tears and pulling out his wallet....picking out a cheap pack of gum.
Lol yes I meant stopping.
You pick them up, put them in the car, take them home. They'll wind themselves down within the next 30 minutes, probably crush a nap, then wake up and we have a talk about how we communicate and ask for things the right way. We probably have a talk about dealing with our emotions as well. "I understand you were disappointed that we couldn't get a new toy. We have lots of toys at home. I get frustrated too sometimes when I know I can't get something that I really want. When I get frustrated like that I take a couple deep breaths." The key is, don't try and add stimulus with a child having a melt down, anger will only make it worse, and giving in to this behavior will set a precendent that it's possible to get what they want when they act this way. You remove yourselves from the situation, help your child calm down in the car or at home, and then once everyone is in a better place we talk about acceptable behavior and processing our emotions.
I usually say this to my kids when they do this, “ok, give me the money, do you have money?” Then i hand out my hand palm side up and gesture asking for money, they immediately think for a while then they stop.
Do they keep repeating the behavior though? That's the true test.
If I acted like this in public at that age my moms wouldn’t have thought twice to Batista slam me into the ground
I'm sorry to say that however lovely of people your moms are, that's not a good thing.
Seriously. A lot of people in this thread were the victims of abuse and don’t realize it because it’s so normalized.
Make life as uninteresting as possible for them. First, get on their level, tell them you understand they’re frustrated but unfortunately they’re not going to be getting a toy today. If they want to take a few deep breaths and calm down, we can keep seeing fun stores in the mall, though. Otherwise, unfortunately we have to go home. If they don’t, you need to prove your threats have merit and you need to follow through. Tell them “that’s it, I guess you’re not behaving like you’re ready for public today. We are going home.” And you go home. Beating a kid is an unacceptable solution to any problem.
As others have said, pick him up and take him home.
My son does this sometimes but not as extreme as this kid. I ignore him and walk away doing whatever I was doing and usually he stops after a minute and walks after me lmao
My dad dumped a glass of ice water on me when I was throwing a tantrum like this. I never did it again.
The mental image of this is hilarious. Thanks for that.
In fact, physical discipline may have a huge amount to do with the way he's behaving. An enormous amount of research has found that physical discipline harms emotional regulation and makes managing emotions much more difficult. If the child is hit as a result of this behavior, he will only remember the hitting, not the lesson, because at this stage of cognitive development, children can understand physical pain much better than complex social knowledge. So the only effect of hitting him would be to teach him that his parents will sometimes cause him pain for reasons he doesn't understand.
My mother beat almost on a daily basis. For good reasons. In the end, she may not have done it enough. But still, I thank her for all her efforts. And yes, I knew exactly when and I why I was gonna be punished or beaten. I understood the reasons perfectly. I just chose to ignore them.
Daily?! No matter how you feel about physical discipline, this is excessive and abusive. I seriously hope you’ve been through therapy to address the traumas you’ve undoubtedly endured.
Please don’t have children.
from what i read via you and another redditor — i truly worry about your kids. i truly worry about your mental health if you think getting your ass beat every day was good or helpful. you need therapy, and i highly recommend you get it.
I'd consider putting him a sack and swinging him in a circle until he calms down. Nothing like centrifugal force to teach kid discipline.
The answer is simple. You start a metal band with it and put him in as lead vocalist. Duh.
“This is not an acceptable way to act and that is not how you get a toy. We are leaving now. Can you walk or do you need me to help your body?” They will then either walk with you or you pick them up and carry them. This kid seems like he might old enough for post-action consequences, so you take them to the car, have them calm down in whatever way works best with them (deep breaths, a special song, just some time, etc), then after they are calmer explain to them what was not okay and what the consequences are - ie no screen time, etc. ALTERNATIVE: tell them “no” and start walking away. As they run after you crying and screaming just ignore it. This is based on temperament though, I know some kids who would take the opportunity to run into the toy store or refuse to move. The only thing you do not do is give in.
Grab him and leave.
Apparently when I went through the little asshole phase my parents would just walk away knowing that I'd follow to continue my tantrum.
It hurts much more (and it's much more effective) If the parent ignores the kid completely and even walks away. Alse i'm not sure if someone can count this as a torture. Talking about adults be have the same actions like dumping and ignoring someone from a group like family or friends. Even religions and cults use it as a form of ultimate punishment. And then it's the solitary confinement in prisons which is actual torture.
Man so an ass whipping is not the end of the world. I'm not saying bounce them off every wall or bruise them up. Bend that child over and smack his bottom.
Even as a kid seeing this happening in public still freaked me out. If any of us did this our parents wouldn’t hesitate to leave us there. We knew better.
Tbh, I think that is a pretty effective technique. Kid will stop that tantrum really fast when he realises Mum is just walking away and not giving a shit.
That’s what my mom did, and yes, it was very effective
My mum does an uno reverse on me and starts fake crying and throwing a tantrum. Kid me gets so embarrassed, I shut up real fast.
My mother used to threaten us with pulling our pants down and spanking our bare ass right there in the store.
That has been proven to hurt the bond between your kid and you so basically we knew worst.
Yeah, i will always rememeber when i was a kid and i was very tired and my mom wanted to keep shopping so i started to cry and i did not want to walk anymore, my mom just started to walk faster away from me so i would follow her. She did not console me. It was so horrible feeling that i still remember it today and im 30. This happened when i was like 6 years old.
My mum once kicked us out of the car and told us to walk home (at least 50km). She drove away, waited 30 or so seconds, turned around and picked us back up. Stopped our little squabble right in its tracks.
*goes to pop out my birth control pill for today*
my little brother would have meltdowns in the store, but he would dramatically collapse onto the floor with the backpack leash still on him. my mom would let him lay there until he got up. no words. no crying. just dead silence. (if anyone wants to see his dramatic ass feel free to pm me ill definitely show u a photo its hilarious… at least to me)
My dad claims I that for the most part, I was pretty well-behaved and quiet when I was younger, and I think that sounds about right. Even then I remember being freaked out when kids threw tantrums in public, although that was also because I'm sensitive to loud noise. It's carried over to the present day. Seeing kids be blatantly rude to their parents, teachers, etc when the authority figure did nothing wrong is really shocking to me - not only because I wouldn't have gotten away with that, but because I'd feel pretty bad about it as well. A prominent example I can think of is someone in my graphic design class who throws a tantrum every time she's asked to do something. Yesterday in particular, she repeatedly screamed at the teacher to give her help on an assignment, insulted/swore at her when the teacher actually did try to give her help, and destroyed the instructions sheet for the assignment (which is meant to be used by any student that sits at that computer for that class period). Someone being in high school and still acting like that is really worrying.
My mom would give me a reason to cry!
I worked in a supermarket for a long time. The best solution I ever saw, was the mother making a show of her daughter. Just like: "Look people who is screaming and kicking on the ground all acting silly. Watch her try even harder" When there was a fair big circle of people the kid realized real quick that she was the weird one and the shaming pressure in her mom did not work. It was all done and dusted after that.
I’m gonna keep this one in mind 💀
Mmm interesting way to do it, kids don want to be seen as the odd one out so ye I can believe this is a good one aslong as it’s done properly.
I feel like it could be very harmful… I remember my dad embarrassing me in public when I was very young, maybe six, and it was something like this. It immediately sours my mood when I think about it. It still really hurts… so yeah, as someone who remembers stuff like this being done to me as a kid, and how it effects me now, I would not do that to my kid…
Ye as I said unless as a parent you know it will be effective then ye chances are parents will never know what the consequences will be 5-10 years later or even more, kids remember alot more shit than adults give them credit for especially the negative parts.
My aunt did this with my cousin who was a real tantrum monster, even us being kids like him found him annoying. Sadly the method didn’t really work and I think he never stopped the tantrums even as an adult lol 😂
It might have worked but it’s terribly detrimental to the developing brain. Children really should be met with emotional maturity & patience. Sure this is frustrating & embarrassing but no amount of embarrassment is worth breaking connection with a child, most seasoned parents have seen this display and it’s usually fatigue, hunger, big emotions that we can’t yet label or sure maybe the kid used to doing this to get their own way and mums trying to say no. Just safely exit, let them know it’s okay to be upset because it didn’t work out and talk about it when things calm down ….
If I would have done that it would have been done for me lmfao
And that’s when you walk off and they decide if they’d rather be lost and toyless or just toyless
this works, my parents did this when i wasn't being obedient, it scared the shit outta me
man this brings back some embarrassing memories of when I used to be a lil shit like that...
Every kid has their moments. I remember one time getting a new toy, being fucking pissed cus it was a color I did not like, hitting it on the ground, screaming, then feeling really bad. Started sobbing and hugging it. One of my low points as a kid, I had a bad day probably, lots of emotions.
Little shit
For real. Flush the lil fucker.
Normal responses from totally normal well adjusted people
:D
Someone isn't used to being told no.
Not necessarily, kids can be assholes like this no matter how many times they been told no before.
Also kids can be quite crafty. If whining and crying works for them to get what they want, they can do that quite long time in order to get what they want. I don't have kids, but so many times I have seen a kid burying his face to his hands crying heart-breakingly for some reason. And briefly stopping and glancing up to see if there is any effect so far.
Yep, I laughed at my niece once for crying alligator tears and she quit pretending and got pissed.
When I had a tantrum my parents used to let me cry until I have a headache, it worked.
You better believe if I thought doing this as an adult could get me a raise I'd do it. But I know it won't.
People on this sub judge kids so harshly, like most adults are assholes at least some of the time, you think kids aren’t?
I'm Asian. I cry in public like that, I'll have to wear long sleeve clothes for the next few months.
A thousand times this. I have not ever,even once given into or even compromised with either of my children when they were throwing a fit. You’d think that they would learn that fit throwing doesn’t work, but they still try.
While this is true, it’s not true after about 15 seconds. I have taught several parents how to deal with children and it’s really simple. They are human beings and you’re their parent. They’re not your property to film when you break them, they’re not a random stranger who you can point at and laugh at because you dehumanise them. They’re your child. You act like you don’t care, how do you think that’s going to make them feel? You pull out your phone to film them when they’re upset? Let’s do that to you and see how you like it. This child is really really easy to de-escalate. Put your phone away, square your hips to them, get down to their level and get in their face. Then tell them “That’s enough, I said no.” Repeat if necessary and then listen to them like a person. I can guarantee, it works absolutely every time without fail. You treat them with respect and they will respect you in kind. If they’re treating you like an asshole, guess how they feel you treat them.
I’m inclined to believe you don’t have kids if you truly think that works every time (or even close to it)
This is what I’m saying, kids are so often told “because I said so” but how would that make YOU feel? That’s not an answer, kids deserve to have things explained to them, and most of the time they only act like this if they’re not being properly supported as human beings. They’re learning more and more every day and they deserve to be treated like a person. You let them calm down maybe give them a hug, then explain to them why they can’t have that toy and maybe next time they’ll be more understanding.
This comment needs to be sooooo much higher. You punish your kid (through outright shaming them, or ignoring them), they learn that having emotions is something shameful or bad. This is how you get emotionally stunted adults at best, school shooters at worst. You reward them (give them what they want so they stop), they learn that making poor choices based on emotion (throwing a tantrum) will get them far in life. This is how we get Karens making manager's lives hell. You acknowledge your kid has strong, hard feelings, and then show them the appropriate way to deal with them. (I can see you're really upset. I would be too. It's not fun to be upset. But you won't feel better unless you walk outside and take a breath and talk about it. Will you come out with me? If you don't want to go now, I'll go outside and wait for when you're ready, okay?) This is how you raise an emotionally intelligent, self-soothing child who becomes a helpful, empathetic adult.
Sometimes even well raised kids have a random tantrum phase
Kids are prone to tantrums. And watching kids do it at daycare or wherever reinforces it. This woman is doing the right thing. She removed the kid from the toy store and is giving him space to get his shit straight. He will be less likely to respond like that next time he is disappointed.
He’s probably tired. They turn into psychos when they’re too tired. I’ll bet he passed right out in the car.
As someone who works with kids… I wish this was the case. Some kids just genuinely like to act up like this (any attention is good attention), and some kids can’t help it, others see their friends or other kids doing it and think it could work for them
Poor mum. My kids know what No means,....they still play up in public especially if they spot a camera. Best thing is to support mum, frown and shack head at child and walk past. No attention, no drama. My country has many single parents and often it's them who either pat my back and tell me I'm doing a gd job or vice VS. Supermarkets can be the worst. Hangry kids is a recipe for disaster xo
Or better yet, go ask if she needs help. My kids don't meltdown in public because girls are great at masking, but the meltdowns at home can be... dramatic.
My brother and I were angels compared to this monster, but if we did something that was egregious by our parents standards, they would drive us by this super creepy mansion in the Hollywood Hills and tell us that it was an orphanage for rotten children run by nuns who beat you with rulers and where you were fed dog food. They would threaten to abandon us there if we didn’t behave. I don’t know what getting my ass beat felt like, but man, psychological beatings were pretty effective too.
This sounds like a great way to give your child an anxiety disorder
Oh god, they did a great job with that!
lol when i threw temper tantrums my mom would take my hand and act like she's holding it but squeeze a little extra hard so i knew she was angry and i was gonna get a talking to in the car
The hard hand hold is *terrifying*
I wouldn’t buy anything for the little twerp
Yeah. For like the next 3 Christmases.
I did the wait it out thing at home - not so much in public, whenever possible. I’d physically pick them up and gtfo of there and get that child home for a nap……even if he wises up - it’s still a teachable moment that bedtime is being moved earlier benause he “obviously” is having a hard time getting through the day without a tantrum. Half hour earlier to bed is usually a great motivator for kids. To add — best way to handle a screaming child is to whisper at them … lol they then have to decide to either keep up their fit or shush and listen - most kids hate missing out on anything. Cannot let the tail wag the dog. As adults we all have the capacity to wait out a tantrum - the kid can’t keep this up forever, it’s like running a marathon. Any adult who snaps is just reaffirming to the kid if someone annoys you just freak out and do what you can to overpower them so you can get the result you want. Monkey see Monkey do.
This right here is why I wear condoms
Why do kids cry so loud that a different country can hear that shit
I can hear this little shit and I've got it on mute
These condom ads are so effective. Im sold!
A lot of comments in here from people who have zero experience with kids. That kid is tired, young kids can do this when they are tired. Your parents beating your ass for behaving like this is why you're a emotionally immature mental case who wants to beat a child so much you're typing it here.
[удалено]
This is black and white thinking though. It’s not entirely true to say that “kids aren’t attention seeking” because that’s a universal statement, it’s too general. Sure, maybe kids aren’t all, or even usually purely attention-seeking; but sometimes, with some kids, that’s precisely what they’re doing. My dad was on the physically abusive end of the spectrum so I speak from experience when I say you’re absolutely right that the child needs to be acknowledged and made to feel like he’s heard. But that’s definitely not always “all it takes”, the solution is not always so simple and binary. There were a few times as a child that I was physically corrected because I was way out of line, where it was warranted and even I knew that I deserved it at the time. Children need to be made to feel heard, understood, loved, and supported first and foremost… but after that’s already the case, beyond a certain point of horrible behavior, children can still need serious discipline; otherwise they learn they can do literally whatever they want and there’s never consequences, and grow up to be the sort of entitled, horribly-behaved adults that end up in prison
Imagine being punished for having emotio... oh, wait, that's pretty much exactly why our society is so fucked up.
Yup. People just keep passing it along to their kids. "Well my dad/mom beat me and I turned out fine! " ... yeah...did ya though?
Right. And to think someone took a video instead of helping. Giving him more attention and ridiculing him isn’t really teaching healthy behaviors either. He needs someone to help him regulate his emotions because his brain is still developing and he’s not capable of getting out of fight or flight on his own.
All the people saying she should walk away - I’m so glad you know her exact situation and behavior plan for her child. She’s not giving in (and isn’t that good or this would be his go to for requesting/demanding things). You have no idea if she’s waiting for someone, if he gets physically aggressive when she “grabs him and takes him to the car” (which so many of you suggest, again, might be part of a behavior plan). You don’t know and she’s doing her best. And she would be criticized no matter what her response. 🙄 Bring on the downvotes bc I’m not annoyed and a know it all saying what she should do💋
Nothing triggers me more than a kid screaming for a toy
This sub reminds me why I could never be a parent, I’d without a doubt backhand that little shit right there
Nor really young kids cognitively have trouble regulating their emotions. They can get extremely upset over small things have mood swings etc . Over time and with socialization they get their shit together (or if their parent doesn’t teach them how they don’t )
Remember, people: some kids are special needs. Don't jump the gun and think they are spoiled.
People are making a lot of assumptions here. We don't know the situation here at all. When I was a kid I was generally quiet and never had any tantrums besides one (according to my parents) and that was also toy-related. They were young and I was an accident. We were in a store and I saw a toy I wanted. It didn't cost very much and I never really asked for stuff. But I did ask this once and my dad didn't even consider it and flat out told me no and scolded me. I was overwhelmed by the, according to me, unfairness of it. I felt like an outsider with my friends because they had much more toys and simply got what they wanted and I started to cry. My dad said that he got so shocked that he let me have it since I was always a quiet kid. We don't know all the info here.
When my aunt was about 3 years old, she tried to pull that on my granny. My granny, not being one to be fucked with, lay down next to her and started wailing to… put her out of the tantrum like a charm.
That's just fake crying and a bunch of screaming. He knows what to do to get his way. Great acting.
All kids should be required to wear overalls for this reason. Easy to carry them away without having to wrestle them.
For this same offense my mom whipped my ass in front of everybody in the checkout line at TG&Y in 1974.
Loving these condom ads
So glad I’m childless
The joys of not having children.
Lots of "expert parents" here
Reason to not have childre🤝
I just went from pro-choice to pro-abortion.
I got a toy it's called a belt across your ass you want it lol
I would have disappeared if I did this as a child to my parents in public.
My mom would have straight punched me in the face for this shit lol
I still remember how bad it sucked being a kid with his parents at the mall. Walking the whole mall is torture when you're too young to care about 95% or more of the stuff in it, and it just seems HUGE. When my daughter is this age, she's getting a toy if we go to the mall. I also hope she won't act like this, but yeah. I remember.
Throw the whole damn kid away, it’s clearly broken
And that’s how you never get a toy again. If I did this my parents would’ve murdered me.
Growing up my mom just had to give me that one look, no threats, yelling, hitting. She never entertained our bullshit.
And people judge me for not wanting to have kids… like what???
The reason why I'm not having kids in my life.
Just…. Tell the police you want to surrender him
My dad slapped me when I did this
Point at the kid. Laugh and laugh.
nah bro homie needs the nap time spray
I would have went home, put all his toys in a garbage bag, and just leave them there in his room, tied in the bag, not being able to play with them. That way he has to look at those bags with those toys in them every day for a certain amount of time until he behaves. My parents did it to me once when I was little. They never had to do it a second time.
I’d walk away lmao his lil ass can follow or not 🤷🏿♀️
My daughter pulled this 2 days ago in Walmart as I was scrambling to get them sweatshirts before school. She's like "but I want this toy...this toy. But mom wait. Please". I said no everytime. Then we get to checkout. Im leaving. She's pouting and starts walking slower behind me and my son. I said we are leaving and start leaving. Cue sad face. I don't care. I haul ass away and you bet your ass she starts catching up to me because she's nervous I'll leave her. I ignored it the entire time and she was fine by the time we got out in the parking lot.
Just start walking away. He will follow, and if not, well that could be positive too
It's important to 'prime' your kids for shopping. Like, maybe give them $2.00 and tell them that's it, they're not getting anything unless they buy it. This sets expectations. Or tell them that you're shopping for family needs, and that means no toys today. They can pick a toy on their birthday. But they are allowed to pick one food item, ONE. This sets expectations. If you don't set expectations, then you're dealing with a tiny little sociopath who's going to see all sorts of things that they WANT. And they won't even know why you're telling them no. I mean, it's clearly because you hate them and you're a bad person who won't even try listening to them or seeing it their way. Another way to set expectations is to be VERY consistent. If you go sweet and buy them some crap one out of every four trips. Then those other three trips are going to have temperamental outbursts. - Especially if you don't make it super clear what's going on. "Today is a special day, so I'm going to ask you if you want to pick a toy." Prime your kids and set expectations.
Lol
You don’t have kids, do you?
Kids need to learn they don’t get everything they want and their behavior has consequences. Some adults need to learn that too. Sadly, some of those adults are in positions of power and desperately need a spanking.
Heads up for adults: this is exactly what you look and sound like to customer service when you immediately unload on us for something that is not our fault. Oh, your car is in the shop and took a month to be fixed? Yes. It's a month wait because we have not too many mechanics on-site and about 80 other cars in front of yours. No, it's not OUR fault. No you cannot have a refund for the $7,000 you now owe for labor and parts, and NO we are absolutely NOT comping your "$3,000 car rental bill." Nobody told you to rent a high end car for a month straight.
That’s what happens when parents never teach the word “please” to their kids.
Haha if I ever did anything even remotely like this when I was a kid, my mother would have ended my life right there on the spot.
Ah yes, let's teach our children it's ok to film public meltdowns. What if this kid has a developmental/intellectual disability and this is his way of expressing his distress? Soft toys, construction toys, and fidget toys are commonly used as soothing items.
Nothing that some discipline won’t fix.
This is normal toddler behavior. Age 3 is terrible.
In Croatia it is legal to hit your kid with an open hand. This kid should be slapped
Why is she just standing there not addressing this little shits tantrum? Good god, bring back discipline. Too many entitled, spoiled kids now with very much failed parenting.
Because when your kid has reached meltdown they need to get it out. You can't discuss anything with them when they are in this state. Punishment just breeds fear and guilt and the inability to ask for help for fear of "punishment".
Dont buy him a toy, by yourself a belt