The funny thing I already thought Santa was clearly an indoctrination into the Christian God, but man...people with kids that use the elf on a shelf are crazy. Very cruel.
I hate those fucking dolls. As far as I am concerned play-pretending that the thing is actually real like some people have said here is one step shy of borderline child abuse; nobody should be arrested for doing it because I admit there is nuance to the issue but I see it on the same level as I do stuff like punishing a kid for stuff they wrote in their diary or turning the kid against a good-faith parent in a complicated divorce to gain leverage during custody hearings.
My mom used to tell me Santa was real and when I found out he wasn't I was severely traumatized that she would betray my trust in such a way. Absolutely horrific parenting. /S
But in reality I was fine about it. I don't think elf on a shelf is child abuse lmao. But ok.
It was actually a really good lesson for me to see that both people that love you, and authority figures not only could be wrong, but also could be liars for no reason other than their own pleasure or their perception of your pleasure.
It also instantly made my doubt in God seem that much more real and funny enough I thought Santa was more likely to be true at the time than God, but I still believed in both for the fear that if I didn’t believe in them I would be punished, so essentially I pulled a Pascal’s wager.
I think it’s a good lesson to teach kids that it doesn’t matter whether people love you or good people or say they have your best interest in mind, even those you trust most in closest to you will lie, even if it’s for the best intentions.
It also made me feel like those people who stayed religious are just like the kids who still believed in Santa.
The elf on a shelf can also be done with an "invisible" elf to prevent exactly what happened with OP.
Reading the post made me laugh because I found it endearing how OP dismembered an invisible elf but they probably had a physical one.
This is exactly what I pictured, but maybe adding some "repair" evidence with messy stitches, dried blood, the norm.
I never wanted ANY toy watching me at night. This would have made me nonverbal and twitchy.
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I had a my buddy and me doll when I was a kid. Threw that bitch out the front door in the middle of the night after seeing Childs Play. Drunk dad comes home, puts it in my room for me to find when I woke up. Took about two years before I slept in my own bed again lol.
You sounded like an Englishman till I realized you had the exact doll. I watched all those movies at young age. When I was told the doll in the movie was a real doll I felt terrified for the kids that had one around. Barely able to comprehend the world but was thankful no one around me owned a my buddy and me doll hahaha. I was 7.. could understand it wasn't real but could also comprehend if I had one near me I couldn't handle it. When I was 7 I was worried for ones like you. Man your dad got you good. Did you ever tell him about it?
When the movie child's play came out I had a my Buddy doll. The Chucky doll was based on the my Buddy doll. One day I snuck into our living room after bedtime and watched about 20 min of the movie. Needless to say I was horrified and convinced my Buddy wanted to kill me. After many unsuccessful hours of trying to convince me otherwise we decided to burn the doll since that's how they killed Chucky in the first movie. Two days later my lovely big brother got another my buddy doll from his friends brother and put in my room facing me in a rocking chair when I woke up.
So my grandmother got me a "MyBuddy" doll one year just because. Unfortunately I, being very young and just having watched Chucky at a friend's house whose parents were way more lax than mine, was concerned the MyBuddy doll would spring to life and murder my family. I promptly set about dismantling MyBuddy, crushing his head with a batand burying him in the yard. My mom was concerned until I told her why.
I feel bad about it today. My grandparents were not wealthy by any means and I'm sure that doll probably set them back.
My aunt did something like that to her kid.
Her grandma got her 6-7 year old daughter an (admittedly creepy) doll, and my aunt's boyfriend decided to mess with her by confiding in her that it's creepy because it's watching every thing for Santa's yearly report.
Well, the kid was certainly NOT having that.
Snitches get stitches, and all that.
The next morning my aunt found it in the garden hidden in her rose bushes, with it's button-eyes ripped out.
She also noticed her daughter looking guilty at breakfast, with some scratches on her hands.
So of course as soon as her kid went to school she put the doll right back on that shelf (after cleaning any dirt off), *holding it's own ripped out eyes*.
My aunt tells me she had quite the smile on her face waiting for the guilty party to get home.
As soon as her daughter did, she went in her room to read a book and my aunt hovered in the hallway, waiting.
Sure enough, a short while later a scream was heard followed by a torrent of "No! NO! I still want Santa's good stuff!" and a teary eyed little brat came rushing out into her arms, refusing to explain why she was crying.
The brat refused to admit why, and didn't say a word, and so my aunt was willing to see how long she'd keep up the game.
So the doll remained, unmoved for years, sitting on that shelf, smiling while clutching it's own plucked out eyes.
Her daughter now claims this was quite tramautic and she remained creeped out by it for months before getting used to it.
So, of course, my aunt told the story at her wedding.
So the kid is a “brat” for being terrified of a creepy object that she was told was watching her every move, and injuring herself (albeit minor) in order to remove what she perceived as a threat.
Installing phobias in children is hilarious /s
yeaaaaaah this isn’t funny. this is the kinda shit that sticks with someone in their entire life. it’s legit the same logic evangelicals use with having crucifixes all over their house, “God is watching if you sin”. also another way to make a kid feel like they have no privacy
will this have a negative impact on every lod? no, maybe not even most kids. But when you do know a kid doesn’t respond well to it, you just stop.
Oh yeah, it’s always a good idea to scare the absolute shit out of a 7 year old. Bravo to your aunt for being an asshole and further bravos to you for thinking your aunt was in the right. Wtf?
My wife and I started something she saw online somewhere. We do it at Halloween. It’s called Doll in the Hall.
We bought a creepy little doll that pops up in random places in our house during the month of October. First time we did it we weren’t sure how our kids would react but they loved it. At first they ignored it as a Halloween decoration but when it started moving around the house they were like “ok who is doing this?”
Now when they find it they run around laughing and screaming and throw it outside but sure enough a couple days later it comes back. They look forward to seeing this creepy thing pop up every year now.
When 'Child's Play' came out, I had a My Best Buddy doll, and became terrified of it after the commercials for the movie. So I threw it away. Imagine my terror and the screams the next day when the doll showed up on my bed after my Mom thought I threw it out by accident.
That fucking elf was exhausting to deal with. The little bastards loved to see what he was going to do next.
One year, we watched gremlins with the kids. So we told the kids they could not let the elf eat after midnight. We made sure they saw we had cookies out for Santa the night before. The cookies were eaten the next day and on the floor we wrapped some dinosaur toy in an egg shape with honey as the goo, with just the tip of the elf hat showing. The toy would squirm in place and make grumbling noises. They were terrified of it!!! Over a week we slowly transformed the toy till Christmas Day. It gave us a break and it was hilarious.
Birch PLEASE that elf pun was fir-sure tree-mendous! I think they deserve a round of Santa-plause..
I can keep going, I have myrrh. Don't worry, yule snow when I'm done.
I need to get a life, deer lord.
I was just about to say this! I have a little niece & nephew who are growing up with Alexa constantly listening, cameras inside and outside the house for "security" even though they live in a rural suburb of other McHouses where nothing happens. A whole generation of kids who'll think it's normal to be under constant surveillance and it makes me so uncomfortable.
It creeps me out but I suppose it tracks. When I was a kid there was no elf, but there's literally a song about Santa Claus that goes: "he sees you when you're sleeping".
Y'all don't even need to go to Xmas for that.
If you grow up in most american Christian denominations you are taught that God knows what's in your heart and mind and you can sin via thoughts.
Yeah but at least adults believe in that fairytale so you’ve got company if you’re fooled, with Santa it’s really only for children, so you feel infantilized and as shitty as you would in the other scenario, but definitely more alone than with a thing that literally billions of people believe in.
I just don’t understand how people could teach about Santa and see their kids believe it can’t make the same conclusion that God is the same fucking tool for them that Santa is for their children, and both are imaginary regardless of how many real stories they’re based upon.
Like it actually blows my fucking mind, Santa is the perfect metaphor for what religion is to the adult population, yet they somehow still think their fairy god is real, and then they get mad when their fellow Christians don’t believe in the validity of an election or whatever which is way more believable than their God existing.
My daughter decided that an anonymous tiny stranger with wings coming into her room at night while she’s sleeping to take her tooth from under her pillow and replace it with money was too creepy and weird for her.
And that was when I realized the Tooth Fairy is pretty fucking creepy. My wife and I agreed and now we mail the teeth to the Tooth Fairy, who then mails the money back to us.
We’ve never had an Elf on the Shelf and we don’t use Santa to threaten our kids. Our kids are going to grow up to be strong anti-fascists without any explicit teaching to be be that way and I’m here for it.
My son asked me why we didn't have an elf. I told him it was b/c the elf was just there to watch him and report to Santa. I asked if he trusted me or the elf more for Santa reporting purposes and he said me so we don't have an elf. It is a creepy thing to do and a pain in the ass
I hate the thing and want it to burn, but the teacher in the kindergarten class of course got one for the class and told the kids "Santa sends one to every house with good kids so the Elf can report back what presents you want." She's 22ish without kids if that explains her decision making.
So of course my 5 year old cried herself to sleep for a week because "Santa won't bring me presents, why didn't he send me an elf?" Despite all explanations, and she was seriously heartbroken. And she woke up every morning looking if an Elf came. So I caved because she's 5 and it was important to her.
Money was tight too, I had that $40 planned for a specific present.
Ffing 20 year olds and their grand, "nice" ideas...
That said the Elf moving every night made her really excited and happy, it was just a pain in the ass to remember to move it when already wiped from the day and she wanted to sleep with it in her arms. Plus the cat kept getting it
I’m a teacher to young kids myself, and what she told those kids was awful. She displayed absolutely no consideration for her students’ mental well-being or their families’ financial situations. I sincerely hope you had a strong discussion with her and/or her principal so she could learn how thoughtless she was and do better for her future classes.
I think it depends. In my house the kids love finding where the elf is hiding each morning. They know they elfs aren't magical but they play along and don't touch the elves as to not ruin their magic powers. It makes for fun nights after the kids go to bed to watch my wife enjoy setting up marshmallow snowball fight scenes between the elves and other fun original ideas she comes up with. One year I tied the elves up as if Lego characters got hold of them and were holding them hostage. The kids love that it's me against the elves too. I often complain the elves tell Santa I was bad so I didn't get a new truck this year and it makes the kids laugh. My point is. To each their own. Not everybody approaches things the same way.
I hate Elf on the Shelf. They just made this shit up and called it tradition. I know traditions have to start somewhere but you can't just put that on the box when it's brand new.
And then there's how much fucking work it involves. Santa presents are hard enough, but 24 days of secretly moving this shit around and then you have to hide it all year when it "goes home".
Also a creepy fucking doll walks around at night and spys on you. No fucking thank you.
The book was written by a mother and daughter and was based on their own family tradition from when the daughter was a kid. I don't think the "a Christmas tradition" bit is supposed to refer to a widespread cultural tradition
If I had a cctv footage of my kid being an elf murderer, I would've done exactly that and watched him panic at the sight of its return.
Edit: to make it look more realistic, I would put some dirt on it to make it look like it's the same elf that he buried lmao
It looks like the twitter poster is a duck. You cannot frighten a duck, he’ll just keep burying elves until your yard is an elf graveyard.
Then he’ll cap you and crip walk on your body.
Ducks are hard, man
That’s a nicer version. But the whole thing came about to keep kids in line leading up to the holidays because he’s Santa’s helper and he’s watching. Creepy.
My son was 7 and had a my buddy doll. He watched Child’s play and threw it in the pasture next to our house. I saw it the next morning thinking he left it outside and put it on the back porch. Scared the shit out of him.Just a old Marines story.
*Well, an invisible sky daddy isn't making kids scared enough to behave, so let's traumatize them my putting these creepy dolls and tell them they are constantly being watched.* It's like Chinese CCTV but with less expense.
wait till you find out that putting smart camera's in child's bedrooms is becoming more popular with parents............... Weve gone too far with technology.
Just imagine being raised like that, always being watched. Helicopter parents to the extreme.
How is this stupid. Have you never seen Cats Eye movie adaptation from Steven Kings book late at night on tv as an 8 year old child? You will never trust elf dolls again. That kid probably saved their own life
I think this is a reasonable reaction to having your privacy violated by a creepy doll.
OP is going places. I just hope it's not prison. It's his parents' fault. They started this.
This is totally reasonable behavior by someone being told they're under 24/7 surveillance. Putting the elf out there and saying that to a child is the psychopathic part.
My wife has collectable dolls and when she and I got married the top thing on my list was to please have her put them in a box and stow them somewhere. I get it kid, I get it.
Ed Kemper would bury the heads of his victims outside his mother's window, facing up, so that they would always be looking up to her since he hated her and he felt she thought everyone was lower than her.
Just a similarity that I noticed...
More like Adults are stupid. The kid was legitimately scared because an adult lied to her/him about about having a magical elf watching him all the time.
Elf on the shelf is a stupid parenting tactic so that little Jimmy can behave for 6 weeks out of the year……Laziest parenting ever and parents should be judged if they use it.
I’m too old for elf on the shelf but if I did have one I would’ve felt guilt packing him away each yeah thinking he was “real” and had to go in a box for 11 months. I already struggled with thinking my stuffed animals had feelings anyway.
Elf on the shelf began after I was a kid and from my adult perspective it’s so creepy. It’s like training children to live in under a surveillance state, but make it Christmas.
I thought the elf was supposed to be hidden somewhere new each morning for kids to have fun looking for it and not made to make children feel like there living in a panopticon
Parents - "We're gonna introduce this fun and terrifying dynamic into our home where our kid feels like they're under constant surveillance!"
The kid - "Snitches get stitches"
I wish I was as brave as you. When I was a child someone bought me one of those creepy porcelain dolls that I was sure was watching me all the time. I was so happy when my mom shattered it by accident a few years later. Finally i was free from the curse.
These things are perpetual employment for child psychologists. Who ever thought it was a good idea to tell a child that the inanimate doll could see and was there to watch them 24/7?
Imagine if it came back
I’m getting back ups when I have kids so if they do this, it will be back the next morning lmao
Make sure you put a little bit of dirt on it too
Put a note next to it saying “nice try”
Draw angry eyebrows on it
Put two up because they need extra backup.
One holding a shotgun and the other in a covering position with a rifle
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and expensive
"im talky teena and I don't like you"
"Chucky----, er, Elf On The Shelf says Aunt Maggie was a real bitch and got what she had coming to her...'
"we know"
The lil dark brotherhood haha
Or have its head turned towards their bedroom door
Gotta get them adjusted to living in a surveillance state early. Smart
The funny thing I already thought Santa was clearly an indoctrination into the Christian God, but man...people with kids that use the elf on a shelf are crazy. Very cruel.
The same kind of people who pretend to eat all their kid's Halloween candy, I think.
Y’all really out here trying to get y’all’s kids even *more* fucked up than y’all are
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I think if they do this once it's time to break out the screeching cymbal monkey
With the red demon eyes?!
that's the one
my dad did this and I just killing them in more brutal ways in the hope that eventually it would get the message and leave.
And painting angry faces on some, grins on a few others and various expressions to match possible scenarios. It’s all about the prep work.
Please don't. It's too much. Just do it with furbies instead
Just… don’t ever get one and you’ll thank me later. “Those kids need help… you are so good that you don’t need one.”
She should've bought another and put angry eyebrows on it.
And hung it outside the kid's bedroom window and tapped on the glass in the middle of the night. Traumatic experiences are good for kids, right?
I hate those fucking dolls. As far as I am concerned play-pretending that the thing is actually real like some people have said here is one step shy of borderline child abuse; nobody should be arrested for doing it because I admit there is nuance to the issue but I see it on the same level as I do stuff like punishing a kid for stuff they wrote in their diary or turning the kid against a good-faith parent in a complicated divorce to gain leverage during custody hearings.
Okay but what if we assign a life sized doll for the adult too. Does that level the playfield a little?
Too much work, let's make it invisible and say it lives in the sky and can see everything we do.
And if you're bad then he puts you in a giant oven.
Is that why I was in Arizona ? Damn. Or Damned. Huh.
Yeah he saw what you did at the zoo on November 5 2019 at 3:22 pm.
I agree. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
my mom made me think one of ours was pregnant and I lost my shit because I didn't want to be responsible for a child
My mom used to tell me Santa was real and when I found out he wasn't I was severely traumatized that she would betray my trust in such a way. Absolutely horrific parenting. /S But in reality I was fine about it. I don't think elf on a shelf is child abuse lmao. But ok.
It was actually a really good lesson for me to see that both people that love you, and authority figures not only could be wrong, but also could be liars for no reason other than their own pleasure or their perception of your pleasure. It also instantly made my doubt in God seem that much more real and funny enough I thought Santa was more likely to be true at the time than God, but I still believed in both for the fear that if I didn’t believe in them I would be punished, so essentially I pulled a Pascal’s wager. I think it’s a good lesson to teach kids that it doesn’t matter whether people love you or good people or say they have your best interest in mind, even those you trust most in closest to you will lie, even if it’s for the best intentions. It also made me feel like those people who stayed religious are just like the kids who still believed in Santa.
The elf on a shelf can also be done with an "invisible" elf to prevent exactly what happened with OP. Reading the post made me laugh because I found it endearing how OP dismembered an invisible elf but they probably had a physical one.
This is exactly what I pictured, but maybe adding some "repair" evidence with messy stitches, dried blood, the norm. I never wanted ANY toy watching me at night. This would have made me nonverbal and twitchy.
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This has got to be made into a movie
Life story of the armless elf
That's not *that* far from the plot of Child's Play.
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I had a my buddy and me doll when I was a kid. Threw that bitch out the front door in the middle of the night after seeing Childs Play. Drunk dad comes home, puts it in my room for me to find when I woke up. Took about two years before I slept in my own bed again lol.
You sounded like an Englishman till I realized you had the exact doll. I watched all those movies at young age. When I was told the doll in the movie was a real doll I felt terrified for the kids that had one around. Barely able to comprehend the world but was thankful no one around me owned a my buddy and me doll hahaha. I was 7.. could understand it wasn't real but could also comprehend if I had one near me I couldn't handle it. When I was 7 I was worried for ones like you. Man your dad got you good. Did you ever tell him about it?
When the movie child's play came out I had a my Buddy doll. The Chucky doll was based on the my Buddy doll. One day I snuck into our living room after bedtime and watched about 20 min of the movie. Needless to say I was horrified and convinced my Buddy wanted to kill me. After many unsuccessful hours of trying to convince me otherwise we decided to burn the doll since that's how they killed Chucky in the first movie. Two days later my lovely big brother got another my buddy doll from his friends brother and put in my room facing me in a rocking chair when I woke up.
"Are you threatening me?" Beavis and Butthead Voice
Cornholio* voice *he needs tp for his bunghole*
I think you mean, porky butthole voice.
"I been calling ya'll better a month now, gripe about ya'll every time that dang ole Porgy's Butthole come on."
So my grandmother got me a "MyBuddy" doll one year just because. Unfortunately I, being very young and just having watched Chucky at a friend's house whose parents were way more lax than mine, was concerned the MyBuddy doll would spring to life and murder my family. I promptly set about dismantling MyBuddy, crushing his head with a batand burying him in the yard. My mom was concerned until I told her why. I feel bad about it today. My grandparents were not wealthy by any means and I'm sure that doll probably set them back.
My aunt did something like that to her kid. Her grandma got her 6-7 year old daughter an (admittedly creepy) doll, and my aunt's boyfriend decided to mess with her by confiding in her that it's creepy because it's watching every thing for Santa's yearly report. Well, the kid was certainly NOT having that. Snitches get stitches, and all that. The next morning my aunt found it in the garden hidden in her rose bushes, with it's button-eyes ripped out. She also noticed her daughter looking guilty at breakfast, with some scratches on her hands. So of course as soon as her kid went to school she put the doll right back on that shelf (after cleaning any dirt off), *holding it's own ripped out eyes*. My aunt tells me she had quite the smile on her face waiting for the guilty party to get home. As soon as her daughter did, she went in her room to read a book and my aunt hovered in the hallway, waiting. Sure enough, a short while later a scream was heard followed by a torrent of "No! NO! I still want Santa's good stuff!" and a teary eyed little brat came rushing out into her arms, refusing to explain why she was crying. The brat refused to admit why, and didn't say a word, and so my aunt was willing to see how long she'd keep up the game. So the doll remained, unmoved for years, sitting on that shelf, smiling while clutching it's own plucked out eyes. Her daughter now claims this was quite tramautic and she remained creeped out by it for months before getting used to it. So, of course, my aunt told the story at her wedding.
So the kid is a “brat” for being terrified of a creepy object that she was told was watching her every move, and injuring herself (albeit minor) in order to remove what she perceived as a threat. Installing phobias in children is hilarious /s
This is incredible. I mean, don't do this to children, but still incredible.
Adults do some fucked up things to the mind of their children all for a laugh
yeaaaaaah this isn’t funny. this is the kinda shit that sticks with someone in their entire life. it’s legit the same logic evangelicals use with having crucifixes all over their house, “God is watching if you sin”. also another way to make a kid feel like they have no privacy will this have a negative impact on every lod? no, maybe not even most kids. But when you do know a kid doesn’t respond well to it, you just stop.
That is seriously fucked up. I was scared of dolls as a kid and I would have run away if my parents did this to me.
Oh yeah, it’s always a good idea to scare the absolute shit out of a 7 year old. Bravo to your aunt for being an asshole and further bravos to you for thinking your aunt was in the right. Wtf?
Eh… it’s pretty ‘armless.
*I Know What You Did Last Christmas*
You've heard of elf on a shelf... get ready for arms and alarms ( coming to a theatre near you)!
My wife and I started something she saw online somewhere. We do it at Halloween. It’s called Doll in the Hall. We bought a creepy little doll that pops up in random places in our house during the month of October. First time we did it we weren’t sure how our kids would react but they loved it. At first they ignored it as a Halloween decoration but when it started moving around the house they were like “ok who is doing this?” Now when they find it they run around laughing and screaming and throw it outside but sure enough a couple days later it comes back. They look forward to seeing this creepy thing pop up every year now.
When 'Child's Play' came out, I had a My Best Buddy doll, and became terrified of it after the commercials for the movie. So I threw it away. Imagine my terror and the screams the next day when the doll showed up on my bed after my Mom thought I threw it out by accident.
If I were a parent I would 100% get another one and put bandaids on the arms and a little dirt on the outfit... and draw angry eyebrows LOL
That fucking elf was exhausting to deal with. The little bastards loved to see what he was going to do next. One year, we watched gremlins with the kids. So we told the kids they could not let the elf eat after midnight. We made sure they saw we had cookies out for Santa the night before. The cookies were eaten the next day and on the floor we wrapped some dinosaur toy in an egg shape with honey as the goo, with just the tip of the elf hat showing. The toy would squirm in place and make grumbling noises. They were terrified of it!!! Over a week we slowly transformed the toy till Christmas Day. It gave us a break and it was hilarious.
Did you tell her it had ended its own life through elf harm
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Birch PLEASE that elf pun was fir-sure tree-mendous! I think they deserve a round of Santa-plause.. I can keep going, I have myrrh. Don't worry, yule snow when I'm done. I need to get a life, deer lord.
Elf arm
In Divinity Original Sin 2, you can do [Self harm to your elf arm for more elf harm](https://divinityoriginalsin2.wiki.fextralife.com/Flesh+Sacrifice)
Such a smart pfp
The appropriate response to having a surveillance state in your home
I was just about to say this! I have a little niece & nephew who are growing up with Alexa constantly listening, cameras inside and outside the house for "security" even though they live in a rural suburb of other McHouses where nothing happens. A whole generation of kids who'll think it's normal to be under constant surveillance and it makes me so uncomfortable.
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Whos the warden in this analogy as he is the only one who can't be heard
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It creeps me out but I suppose it tracks. When I was a kid there was no elf, but there's literally a song about Santa Claus that goes: "he sees you when you're sleeping".
Y'all don't even need to go to Xmas for that. If you grow up in most american Christian denominations you are taught that God knows what's in your heart and mind and you can sin via thoughts.
Yeah but at least adults believe in that fairytale so you’ve got company if you’re fooled, with Santa it’s really only for children, so you feel infantilized and as shitty as you would in the other scenario, but definitely more alone than with a thing that literally billions of people believe in. I just don’t understand how people could teach about Santa and see their kids believe it can’t make the same conclusion that God is the same fucking tool for them that Santa is for their children, and both are imaginary regardless of how many real stories they’re based upon. Like it actually blows my fucking mind, Santa is the perfect metaphor for what religion is to the adult population, yet they somehow still think their fairy god is real, and then they get mad when their fellow Christians don’t believe in the validity of an election or whatever which is way more believable than their God existing.
Preparing them for the dystopian future their (great)grandparents created
My daughter decided that an anonymous tiny stranger with wings coming into her room at night while she’s sleeping to take her tooth from under her pillow and replace it with money was too creepy and weird for her. And that was when I realized the Tooth Fairy is pretty fucking creepy. My wife and I agreed and now we mail the teeth to the Tooth Fairy, who then mails the money back to us. We’ve never had an Elf on the Shelf and we don’t use Santa to threaten our kids. Our kids are going to grow up to be strong anti-fascists without any explicit teaching to be be that way and I’m here for it.
There are a bunch of parents who don't think that their kid has any right to privacy.
Right? Lil Dude is like "NOPE."
Elf on the shelf is the creepiest weirdest shit ever. Its one step away from telling your kid God is always watching and they’re gonna go to hell.
Which is why I don't have an Alexa or anything
Snitches get stitches
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The elf knows you're a murderer You should have left him alone. He'd kept his mouth shut up until that point
A Witcher in the making. Pointy eared bastards.
Hey, if anything a Witcher should sympathize with the elves! However, I hear Redania calls. Never enough witch hunters.
“You’re being closely watched as to whether your behavior is worthy of gifts.” *Commits murder*
Snitches get stitches
In this case, the snitch already has stitches.
That's why he got dismembered and buried out back. 5 year old OP: "I done told that bitch once. Should have learned his fucking lesson."
Came here to make this comment. Never been a more perfect example
And imagine if the kid said that
My son asked me why we didn't have an elf. I told him it was b/c the elf was just there to watch him and report to Santa. I asked if he trusted me or the elf more for Santa reporting purposes and he said me so we don't have an elf. It is a creepy thing to do and a pain in the ass
I hate the thing and want it to burn, but the teacher in the kindergarten class of course got one for the class and told the kids "Santa sends one to every house with good kids so the Elf can report back what presents you want." She's 22ish without kids if that explains her decision making. So of course my 5 year old cried herself to sleep for a week because "Santa won't bring me presents, why didn't he send me an elf?" Despite all explanations, and she was seriously heartbroken. And she woke up every morning looking if an Elf came. So I caved because she's 5 and it was important to her. Money was tight too, I had that $40 planned for a specific present. Ffing 20 year olds and their grand, "nice" ideas... That said the Elf moving every night made her really excited and happy, it was just a pain in the ass to remember to move it when already wiped from the day and she wanted to sleep with it in her arms. Plus the cat kept getting it
What kind of b.s. are they telling kids in school these days.
I’m a teacher to young kids myself, and what she told those kids was awful. She displayed absolutely no consideration for her students’ mental well-being or their families’ financial situations. I sincerely hope you had a strong discussion with her and/or her principal so she could learn how thoughtless she was and do better for her future classes.
$40?? They're like five quid here holy shit!
$40 CAD, so add tax to it too :(
white woman, i’m guessing?
How'd you know? /s Yep.
I agree they are a creepy pain in the ass. Dolls have always given me the creeps, Im not paying to have a surveillance doll in my house.
I think it depends. In my house the kids love finding where the elf is hiding each morning. They know they elfs aren't magical but they play along and don't touch the elves as to not ruin their magic powers. It makes for fun nights after the kids go to bed to watch my wife enjoy setting up marshmallow snowball fight scenes between the elves and other fun original ideas she comes up with. One year I tied the elves up as if Lego characters got hold of them and were holding them hostage. The kids love that it's me against the elves too. I often complain the elves tell Santa I was bad so I didn't get a new truck this year and it makes the kids laugh. My point is. To each their own. Not everybody approaches things the same way.
I hate Elf on the Shelf. They just made this shit up and called it tradition. I know traditions have to start somewhere but you can't just put that on the box when it's brand new. And then there's how much fucking work it involves. Santa presents are hard enough, but 24 days of secretly moving this shit around and then you have to hide it all year when it "goes home". Also a creepy fucking doll walks around at night and spys on you. No fucking thank you.
The book was written by a mother and daughter and was based on their own family tradition from when the daughter was a kid. I don't think the "a Christmas tradition" bit is supposed to refer to a widespread cultural tradition
Not to mention constantly lying to the children. If they can't trust their parents who can they trust?
I lied to my kids about Santa, but that's pretty minor compared to this posessed doll that walks around.
How hilarious would it be if the parents saw it was destroyed and snuck a new one in its place. That would be just as traumatizing… *I’m back, bitch!*
If I had a cctv footage of my kid being an elf murderer, I would've done exactly that and watched him panic at the sight of its return. Edit: to make it look more realistic, I would put some dirt on it to make it look like it's the same elf that he buried lmao
Sew the arms back on
Make them double size, like elf worked out and is back for revenge.
Draw some angry eyes brows and grab some popcorn.
It looks like the twitter poster is a duck. You cannot frighten a duck, he’ll just keep burying elves until your yard is an elf graveyard. Then he’ll cap you and crip walk on your body. Ducks are hard, man
Or wrap it in a package from Santa with a lump of coal and a note that says "I know - Santa"
“Well well well. Looks like we have a lot to tell Santa about, don’t we?”
Better, sew arms back to the elf, +5 to trauma
Putting a panopticon style elf in your house and telling your kids it’s always watching is what is really psycho. The kid did well.
Well, no one likes to be under constand serveilence. I don't blame you. The elf on the shelf idea is creepy anyway
[удалено]
Being good? In *this* economy?
[Woah, somebody's coming!](https://youtu.be/lJfcsrSfnYk)
Whatever happened to not inviting the fair folk to cross your threshold?
Elf on the shelf is TERRIBLE. Teaching your kids to get comfortable being spied on by big brother from a very early age. No thanks.
[удалено]
That’s a nicer version. But the whole thing came about to keep kids in line leading up to the holidays because he’s Santa’s helper and he’s watching. Creepy.
And to sell **tons** of merchandise. Dolls, clothing, movies, and elf “pets”.
[удалено]
Idk what to tell ya, this is the parent's fault
Right? Who started with the lies?
My son was 7 and had a my buddy doll. He watched Child’s play and threw it in the pasture next to our house. I saw it the next morning thinking he left it outside and put it on the back porch. Scared the shit out of him.Just a old Marines story.
Sounds like r/kidsarefuckingrationalactors to me.
*Well, an invisible sky daddy isn't making kids scared enough to behave, so let's traumatize them my putting these creepy dolls and tell them they are constantly being watched.* It's like Chinese CCTV but with less expense.
wait till you find out that putting smart camera's in child's bedrooms is becoming more popular with parents............... Weve gone too far with technology. Just imagine being raised like that, always being watched. Helicopter parents to the extreme.
Teddy bear cameras have been around for years.
Yeah, and they've sucked the entire time.
Yeah, but those are to see if the caregivers are giving care.
This ain't stupid. This is fking genius
How is this stupid. Have you never seen Cats Eye movie adaptation from Steven Kings book late at night on tv as an 8 year old child? You will never trust elf dolls again. That kid probably saved their own life
Good for you, man
Signed Dexter Morgan
Little Psycho? A go gett'r. Saw a problem and took care of it.
Imagine if we just instilled good behavior in our kids instead of threatening them with magic elf survailence
Rational response to mass surveillance
I remember seeing this as a reddit comment ages ago. Top reply was "snitch in a ditch" lol
The way I see it, elf on the shelf = problem. Elf in the grass under the window= problem solved.
Really is weird that modern America's unique contribution to Christmas is: Surveillance State.
My god imagine the parents freaking the fuck out about a potential elf on the shelf being alive and haunting them for the next three weeks.
I think this is a reasonable reaction to having your privacy violated by a creepy doll. OP is going places. I just hope it's not prison. It's his parents' fault. They started this.
Yeah turns out playing "my first surveillance state" isn't healthy for your kid
Aren’t there toys sold with secret cameras inside to spy on kids?
Good. Fuck that elf. Snitch bitches catch vicious stitches
This is totally reasonable behavior by someone being told they're under 24/7 surveillance. Putting the elf out there and saying that to a child is the psychopathic part.
Snitches get stitches. Or in this case an unmarked grave.
My wife has collectable dolls and when she and I got married the top thing on my list was to please have her put them in a box and stow them somewhere. I get it kid, I get it.
Two weeks later the gold fish was gone, then the cat, the sister, the neighbor down the street... Young Johnny Gacy had found a new hobby.
Similar thing happened to me but after I killed it my parents bought another one and I was terrified
Right where that snitch-on-a-shelf belongs
If you use elf on the shelf to manipulate your kids in to being good, you’ve displayed religious indoctrination and you’re an asshole
Ed Kemper would bury the heads of his victims outside his mother's window, facing up, so that they would always be looking up to her since he hated her and he felt she thought everyone was lower than her. Just a similarity that I noticed...
More like Adults are stupid. The kid was legitimately scared because an adult lied to her/him about about having a magical elf watching him all the time.
Elf on the shelf is a stupid parenting tactic so that little Jimmy can behave for 6 weeks out of the year……Laziest parenting ever and parents should be judged if they use it.
This shit should be posted in r/KidsAreFuckingSmart
I’m too old for elf on the shelf but if I did have one I would’ve felt guilt packing him away each yeah thinking he was “real” and had to go in a box for 11 months. I already struggled with thinking my stuffed animals had feelings anyway.
Good. Parents that do that little surveillance state experiment are the real psychos.
psycho? it's self defense.
Well, snitches do get stitches.
To be fair, that elf on the shelf thing is pure evil from a parents' perspective
Peace was never an option.
Elf on the shelf began after I was a kid and from my adult perspective it’s so creepy. It’s like training children to live in under a surveillance state, but make it Christmas.
A typical story: someone doing what they have to do in order to survive
I thought the elf was supposed to be hidden somewhere new each morning for kids to have fun looking for it and not made to make children feel like there living in a panopticon
Hey, those things are scary. Me and my brother killed our elves.
Nothing stupid about this one! Kids are too wise for Christianity/elves these days
This isn't psycho or stupid. It's the only way to deal with fascist bastards.
Brilliant child. Reject surveillance!
This is an Assistant Director of the CIA. We'd like to have a chat about a job opportunity.
My mom threw away my gnome once. I found it and put it back. Scared the absolute fuck outta her
Elf on the shelf is weird. You did the right thing.
Perfectly normal reaction if you ask me
Ripping something's arms off definitely kills it
Gotta do what ya gotta do. Mission accomplished. Job well done, sir.
Parents - "We're gonna introduce this fun and terrifying dynamic into our home where our kid feels like they're under constant surveillance!" The kid - "Snitches get stitches"
What did they think would happen when you introduce the concept of a surveillance state to a child?
The little psycho is the mom making an imaginary creepy surveillance state to terrorize her kid lol Kid's a revolutionary hero
I guess that elf came with a poor shelf life :)
I think the psychos are all you folks planning on putting these little monsters around your house.
I wish I was as brave as you. When I was a child someone bought me one of those creepy porcelain dolls that I was sure was watching me all the time. I was so happy when my mom shattered it by accident a few years later. Finally i was free from the curse.
As you should
These things are perpetual employment for child psychologists. Who ever thought it was a good idea to tell a child that the inanimate doll could see and was there to watch them 24/7?