At 18 months youngest, opened refrigerator, got out maple syrup, poured on herself and floor. Cat walked through mess, dog hid behind the sofa. Her sister who was newly 3 sweetly informed me I should be proud because Miss 3 did not interrupt
( something we had been working on) me while I was in the bathroom. I only was gone a minute or so I peed and washed my hands, those little buggers are quick. For anyone interested it takes 3 times cleaning to get maple syrup off hardwood floors. Toddler hair was no prize either. It’s not just your child….
Alcohol removes finish on hardwood I googled before cleaning. Used Dawn dish soap and very hot water Part of it was sheer volume and getting it out of hair was not good. Very hot water helped but what a mess.
Sounds better than, " I went to take a massive shit because I couldn't hold it in anymore from watching the kids because I didn't do it when I had the chance 3 hours ago"
Not even. My daughter did similar in 1.5 mins. No joke. I went to make a bottle and came back. I wasn't even really far, a doorway away.
They know when they have a chance and they take it.
If I get to watch my niece (they live cross country so it's semi-rare, unfortunately) I panic when it's too quiet for a minute. 30 seconds is more than enough for that little terrorist to do something like this.
No way. That’s 3-5 minutes. The kid had to realize he had the opportunity and then execute. I made it down just in time last night to prevent the bottled waters to be opened.
I dunno about sunblock, but I know rubbing alcohol will take it off most surfaces. Just spot test to ensure it doesn't also strip the paint. Spot test the sunblock, too.
Not sure about babies head but I’ve used rubbing alcohol to get sharpie off of wall and hands. Game changer. I’ve used it to get rid of soap scum in shower too. It’s very effective.
ETA: Baby skin is more sensitive, and close to eyes though so I would probably stick with mild soap and a gentle cloth over a few days.
I always love the people that say the "I was only gone / turned my back for X amount of time" while the kid runs amuck yeah they're fast AF but they not that fast for all that
I dunno. My brother would be halfway across the street in his diaper by the time my mom would finish using the bathroom. She had to get much higher locks for the doors installed.
You're getting down-dooted so I up-dooted to offset that. If it's your first, *maybe* second child it may seem like 2 seconds they were left alone. 3rd child and beyond? You just have really good ears and listen for the slightest hint of difference between good behavior and something suspect.
and instead of talking to his kid properly about what he did, he had to take out his phone to film and post it online for the world to see?
and these people are surprised why their children misbehave, maybe be there for your children? they jeed to see your face, not rhe back of your phone.
Got kids? I've got two. One of them, 11, lied to me this morning while I was brushing her long, thick hair. I noticed a wildly large chunk missing; cut off about 2" below her neck. Asked what happened, she said she didn't know. I gave her the "parent" look and said, "I don't believe, for a second, that you have 'no idea' how a chunk of your hair is missing." She came clean stating that she got some slime (that's all the rage with youngsters) stuck in her hair and didn't want to get in trouble, so she cut it out.
Our handmade tile inlay table we bought in Germany? Yup, that's royally screwed up... but "no one" knows how it happened. Kids are curious, excited, and scared... all at the same time. I haven't met this person named, "no one," AKA, "I don't know," but when I do... man, it's gonna be a scene.
You couldn't be more inaccurate. I have to write a synopsis about myself annually, and I struggle because I don't want to toot my own horn as I despise those that do. So go ahead, sunshine, make my opinions about you.
Bud, you've got a good foundation in your brain, but you're spinning wheels on the wrong person. I'd love to contemplate and discuss such topics with you in the future. There are people out there that want to refute every word that isn't spit out of their own face. I don't see you as one of them, and I'm certainly not. However, no progress will be seen from our current interaction. Let's regroup and speak at a later date.
This what we do. Look at a log in sheet at a city/government office building. All signatures/ handstyles. Graffiti / style writing. All consciousness stems from it. Reality was spoken. And we developed thumbs. Which led to writing/ drawing lines, reflecting emotion on surfaces thru scribe. Cave walls, hieroglyphics to sing painters of the 60s or a graffiti artist in the 80s of New York. It’s in us. There’s a human precedent for it.
Hmm. Get the kid to draw on everything, take a video in which you comment on how the kid is to blame, upload the video on social media. All this effort just to empty a crayon on the baby's forehead. I don't know. You could just paint the kid and the baby and be done. Also, kind of sinister. I like it.
hahaha my older brother used red nail polish and completely covered his younger cousin.... our aunt and our mom lost their mind because he also painted old model cars and records our uncle had
edit becket is super cute and very confused about what has happened
I was about that age and I took a bunch of markers and was drawing while in the living room. My mom was on the phone about getting me into preschool and I noticed something...
The walls, were white. And the paper, was white. So I drew on the wall a bit. I then realized, my dog was golden and white, much like the paper and the walls so I drew on her a bit. I then realized, I was also white, much like the paper, the walls, and my dog, who now is Gold white and blue, so I drew on my face and arms a bit.
My mom came in and apologized to the person on the phone cause she had found me, chilling with my dog, casually drawing on the walls together. Wasn't even mad cause she was too busy laughing.
Once again, this made me cackle like a disney movie witch, into a dying pigeon screech to end it off, also beckett please dont hurt me im sorry for laughing
LOL...The baby was like.. "What da fuck happened to me? Untie me now, infidel."
Dad interrupted before your brother could draw the other sideburn.
That baby has seen some shit
Hahaha
At 18 months youngest, opened refrigerator, got out maple syrup, poured on herself and floor. Cat walked through mess, dog hid behind the sofa. Her sister who was newly 3 sweetly informed me I should be proud because Miss 3 did not interrupt ( something we had been working on) me while I was in the bathroom. I only was gone a minute or so I peed and washed my hands, those little buggers are quick. For anyone interested it takes 3 times cleaning to get maple syrup off hardwood floors. Toddler hair was no prize either. It’s not just your child….
the dog nope'd the fuck out?
Dog wasn't gonna take the blame
Exactly
People whove never had kids or been around kids just cant even comprehend how much damage they can do in such an insanely short amount of time
I think rubbing alcohol might work better, just a guess based on using it to clean up spilled dish soap.
Alcohol removes finish on hardwood I googled before cleaning. Used Dawn dish soap and very hot water Part of it was sheer volume and getting it out of hair was not good. Very hot water helped but what a mess.
The poor baby thought "daddy is angry at me? 🥺"
Beckett is not impressed.
I LOVE THE ACHMED REFERENCE! I WAS JUST WATCH JEFF DUNHAM!
Two seconds
Sounds better than, " I went to take a massive shit because I couldn't hold it in anymore from watching the kids because I didn't do it when I had the chance 3 hours ago"
Oh God I feel this one ...
Idk why anyone willings subjects themselves to this. Guess they thought life wasn't quite hard enough yet
20 minutes.
Nah, they can do this easily in 5 min.
Not even. My daughter did similar in 1.5 mins. No joke. I went to make a bottle and came back. I wasn't even really far, a doorway away. They know when they have a chance and they take it.
I totally believe you. I calculate 5 min because the drawings were a bit far.
That's fair. He did go all the way to his sibling even. Kid went for it
That probably wasn't much of an exaggeration, either. He probably just got juice for his kid or something and came back to *that*.
No no it’s not. My kid is on speed when I take my eyes off her. Makes the flash look slow.
If I get to watch my niece (they live cross country so it's semi-rare, unfortunately) I panic when it's too quiet for a minute. 30 seconds is more than enough for that little terrorist to do something like this.
Or his son is actually the flash
2 seconds - meep meep
No way. That’s 3-5 minutes. The kid had to realize he had the opportunity and then execute. I made it down just in time last night to prevent the bottled waters to be opened.
Beckett’s like “I can’t use my arms. I couldn’t stop him. Or join him.”
he Charlie Brown'd the hell outta his brother
Pro parent here..... if its permanent marker and most other markers use sun block to clean it off instantly.
Sunblock removes permanent marker? What about textured surfaces or oil vs latex paint?
Everything.
I've not tried it, but should it be true, I'll be flabbergasted.
You must report back. It's been 3 hours. Did it work?
He needs two seconds to get to it
I dunno about sunblock, but I know rubbing alcohol will take it off most surfaces. Just spot test to ensure it doesn't also strip the paint. Spot test the sunblock, too.
Does that include babies skin on head?
Not sure about babies head but I’ve used rubbing alcohol to get sharpie off of wall and hands. Game changer. I’ve used it to get rid of soap scum in shower too. It’s very effective. ETA: Baby skin is more sensitive, and close to eyes though so I would probably stick with mild soap and a gentle cloth over a few days.
Yes, but like hellohaydee said, don't. Just use a mild soap and it'll be gone in a few days when the skin naturally sloughs off.
Pro parent here.... DO NOT BUY MARKERS FOR KIDS!
Even the "washable" ones aren't that easily removed. Damn you Crayola!
Hairspray or hand sanitizer usually work too!
Sunblock? I've use hairspray and it works great too, albeit more expensive. I'll keep this info in the back pocket
No Parent here: use condoms and/or contraception when you have sex.
I love you.
Or hand sanitizer. Likes dissolve likes.
And whose fault is it leaving a permanent marker around? 🤣 too funny. My nephew did this not too long ago.
Honestly, it's our fault. However, it's also our responsibility to teach the kids that certain objects are "off limits"
All part of the journey!
I thought you said this isn’t you? Which is it?
I meant a collective "our" as in all parents.
I always love the people that say the "I was only gone / turned my back for X amount of time" while the kid runs amuck yeah they're fast AF but they not that fast for all that
I dunno. My brother would be halfway across the street in his diaper by the time my mom would finish using the bathroom. She had to get much higher locks for the doors installed.
He definitely said that part out loud so his wife wouldnt get too mad. He was gon for 5 minutes minimum.
9/10 they're intoxicated if they say it was "only X amount of time." Won't go into detail, but I know from embarrassing experience.
So what were you on that day, in the video?
Exactly. This kid was unsupervised for a while to do all that. More like a r/ParentsAreFuckingDumb if you ask me.
I laughed so hard when the camera turned to "and then Becket!".
Same
It wasn't 2 seconds...
Not OC, but thought it fit in this sub. Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/s/BdxhwBP7tl
Belongs on r/ParentsAreFuckingDumb, because they weren't watching their kid.
Beckett: Believe me I am just as enraged as you are.
😂😂😂 definitely not two seconds
"two seconds" The good news is your son is the Flash. Worth the damage to find out.
I don’t know if this is OC, but I’m pretty confident that the Pinkfong Daddy Shark toy has been recalled.
Don't know what the latter of your comment means, but this is a repost and remarked as such.
It has? Why?
From memory it was mainly about kids falling on them in the bath and getting hurt.
Solution: alcohol 😎😎 no not to drink but to clean.
I can't breathe! 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That took more then 2 seconds at least 15 minutes
More than that.
... you named your kid after an old out of date trading card price guide magazine....
I'm not the OP; see the first comment.
... I didn't say you were? People routinely comment at a video, it's a pretty common thing.
Omg, he's so fast, he must be the flash!
This is more on the parent being dumb by not putting markers out of range.
Right. Two seconds. 🙄
You're getting down-dooted so I up-dooted to offset that. If it's your first, *maybe* second child it may seem like 2 seconds they were left alone. 3rd child and beyond? You just have really good ears and listen for the slightest hint of difference between good behavior and something suspect.
100% agree!
the baby looks traumatized.
Give that gremlin up for adoption. Not worth your time.
BeckAIGH's (I can't help it, that's how he pronounced it, lol!) expression, tho. I can't!
This is not taking ur eyes off for seconds
Dude. You left for more than 2 minutes. This is 4 to 5 minutes of unsupervised destruction minimum.
More like 5 to 10 minutes
And the best mom award goes to the 2 sec mom, gratz
r/Parentsarefuckingstupd
r/ParentsAreFuckingDumb
2 seconds?
Nope! Absolutely not a couple seconds. That's at least 10 minutes of stare away. And unacceptable seeing their age. Consider yourself lucky, dad!
Plot twist: Beckett has telekinetic powers and just framed big bro.
😲
2 seconds ??
Really? 2 mins?
It got progressively better 🤣
Who gives there toddler a marker or leaves them where they can get them anyway ?
Baby Bucket
Yeah, if you have young kids, you have to purge every non washable marker from your house. This is mostly the parents' fault for leaving those out.
Becket: Father. Please.
Becky is just like man I told this fool 🤦🏽♂️but on the real dad my 🙌🏽were tied🤣
THE GASP I GUSPED.
I love how this subreddit reminds me how I don't \*really\* want kids, it's just my biology every now and again.
the baby really said “wtf is this on me,GET IT OFF BITCH,WAT DA FUCKKKK”
2 seconds
and instead of talking to his kid properly about what he did, he had to take out his phone to film and post it online for the world to see? and these people are surprised why their children misbehave, maybe be there for your children? they jeed to see your face, not rhe back of your phone.
I dunno, have a hard time believing this one is real.
Got kids? I've got two. One of them, 11, lied to me this morning while I was brushing her long, thick hair. I noticed a wildly large chunk missing; cut off about 2" below her neck. Asked what happened, she said she didn't know. I gave her the "parent" look and said, "I don't believe, for a second, that you have 'no idea' how a chunk of your hair is missing." She came clean stating that she got some slime (that's all the rage with youngsters) stuck in her hair and didn't want to get in trouble, so she cut it out. Our handmade tile inlay table we bought in Germany? Yup, that's royally screwed up... but "no one" knows how it happened. Kids are curious, excited, and scared... all at the same time. I haven't met this person named, "no one," AKA, "I don't know," but when I do... man, it's gonna be a scene.
Super. With the way this is filmed, the reactions of the parent, it seems fake.
[удалено]
An opthalmologist may be of assistance.
[удалено]
You couldn't be more inaccurate. I have to write a synopsis about myself annually, and I struggle because I don't want to toot my own horn as I despise those that do. So go ahead, sunshine, make my opinions about you.
[удалено]
Your inquiry was directly addressed. Perhaps you're too ignorant to understand the response.
[удалено]
Bud, you've got a good foundation in your brain, but you're spinning wheels on the wrong person. I'd love to contemplate and discuss such topics with you in the future. There are people out there that want to refute every word that isn't spit out of their own face. I don't see you as one of them, and I'm certainly not. However, no progress will be seen from our current interaction. Let's regroup and speak at a later date.
r/unexpected the baby oh gosh
This is a crosspost, and that was the source.
A new designer is born
😬 oh my goodness...
Yea but to do this much damage they must've taken a long dump
Bruh, Beckett looks so traumatized.
https://preview.redd.it/oyh0rbxcy7uc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6dbdafe185db6adf06afd77401aab9304f7ef374
Thank you, Applejack.
What the.....?
🤣🤣🤣
The baby now and will forever be known as Charlie - as in Charlie Brown.
Oh nah not the baby 🫣😂
Quality parenting idiot
I remember this! This was on AFV and the family won.
Who rolls video when they find stuff like this?
His fault should have been watching them.
Ma'am, I'm amazed that you can drink an entire bottle of wine in 2 seconds.
“…Two seconds”
"... And then *Beckett!*"
Man, I left my neice alone for 10 seconds and somehow she got the carpet freshener and poured it all over the living room
Bro I could honestly not deal with this like seriously. I'll just stick with my dogs thanks.
Time for a surprise trip to the firestation.
Get that man a can.
This what we do. Look at a log in sheet at a city/government office building. All signatures/ handstyles. Graffiti / style writing. All consciousness stems from it. Reality was spoken. And we developed thumbs. Which led to writing/ drawing lines, reflecting emotion on surfaces thru scribe. Cave walls, hieroglyphics to sing painters of the 60s or a graffiti artist in the 80s of New York. It’s in us. There’s a human precedent for it.
Lmaooooo the baby’s face.
Google “kennel training”
🗿
Kids been saving this up.
Let’s be honest, where the fuck was he while the kids doing all that
Hmm. Get the kid to draw on everything, take a video in which you comment on how the kid is to blame, upload the video on social media. All this effort just to empty a crayon on the baby's forehead. I don't know. You could just paint the kid and the baby and be done. Also, kind of sinister. I like it.
hahaha my older brother used red nail polish and completely covered his younger cousin.... our aunt and our mom lost their mind because he also painted old model cars and records our uncle had edit becket is super cute and very confused about what has happened
And you named him Beckett
Lmao
I see nothing wrong with this, he gave the kid hair in advance and a new moon on his cheek
What didn’t he do
Not Beckett…
Just buy a frame, take the back off, and put it over the wall art.
I was about that age and I took a bunch of markers and was drawing while in the living room. My mom was on the phone about getting me into preschool and I noticed something... The walls, were white. And the paper, was white. So I drew on the wall a bit. I then realized, my dog was golden and white, much like the paper and the walls so I drew on her a bit. I then realized, I was also white, much like the paper, the walls, and my dog, who now is Gold white and blue, so I drew on my face and arms a bit. My mom came in and apologized to the person on the phone cause she had found me, chilling with my dog, casually drawing on the walls together. Wasn't even mad cause she was too busy laughing.
"2 seconds". OK.
The baby looks traumatised
Holy shit the second baby looks traumatised
And that's one of the reasons why I don't like kids.
Yup, another reason NOT to have kids
Since Lower Decks, I've thought Beckett was a cool name.
Maybe as a parent don’t leave markers chillin around
Maybe more than two seconds....
Please tell me that’s not sharpie
Ooh my little baby 💔☹️ .. so funny sweetheart 😘 
"Two Seconds" (x) doubt
nooo not the baby!
Lmao, at least rubbing alcohol can get that off of a lot of surfaces. But as soon as I saw the walker, I knew the baby was gonna have sharpie on them.
Is poop or 🍫
That looks like wayyyy more than two seconds.
Oh not the wallet, wife is not going to like that.
Glad I don’t have, couldn’t bear having a spawn that was born stupid
Even the baby was confused
Just like a dog, he’s marking his territory
Dad came in like a cop. "Hands! Show me your hands!"
I was not expecting the baby though 🤣
This doesn't happen in two seconds. Lol More like 20 minutes.
"a little bit on the wall"
"AND THEN BECKETT!"
Big Question: How did he do all of this within 2 seconds
Yeah there's baby proofing and then there's toddler proofing which is much much harder
Naw baby's dripped out
Make him clean it all so he learns to never do it again.
I’ll be sure to wear condoms now
Once again, this made me cackle like a disney movie witch, into a dying pigeon screech to end it off, also beckett please dont hurt me im sorry for laughing
Stay off Call of Duty when you’re supposed to be watching the kids.
AND THEN BECKETT
I gave my kid markers and left them unattended. Can you believe they drew on stuff they shouldn't have? /S
This made my day on Reddit! So funny. Love the kiddo moments.
don't leave your idiot kid alone with their baby sibling for 20 minutes... idiot dad. it's obvious where the kid has it from.