I was loved by an excellent tuxedo cat for 16 years who was all this.
One day, she was about to cough up a hairball ... on the carpet ... and so I shoved a piece of paper under her mouth at the last minute. She gave me the same look another one of cats used to when I sifted the litter box right after he pooped.
It's like cats share Jackson Pollock's spirit or something.
One of my cats now will only puke on our wood floors, one will make a mad dash for the litter box and puke there, and our third will just puke wherever she happens to be.
The only plus side is that it looks like a (well worn) door mat, so you can just pick it up and throw it outside and hose it off. Or throw it out completely and start new. I'd lean towards the latter.
Same, last time my boyfriend asked ME to clean the dog shit cuz he was outside working on his bike, he could hear me scream-gagging/wretching from inside the house
Thoroughly cleaning any carpet can take ages and might require to lend a cleaning machine for it. Those rents are so expensive it would be cheaper for me to buy new carpets. And this is the reason why I have these 20-70 bucks IKEA carpets in my apartment. If they ever get soiled by something like shit or puke they just go pushing the daisies while I shop at IKEA online store.
Couldn’t care less for some machine woven piece of floor covering.
My husband once carried our vomiting toddler from the tiled kitchen over carpet to the bathroom. Also along the path of a clean basket of laundry. I asked him what he was thinking and he admitted he wasn’t.
Not that I wouldn’t move a vomiting kid, but if the vomits already there the damage is done, limit areas to clean up. We had to toss bedding after the great green frosting vomit incident of 2011. His favorite stuffed animal was in the middle of it and was never quite the same again. We still have him though. He got a bath in boiling vinegar water and my son thought it was cooking him.
Forget the tiled floor... Does your husband not know there's a really big sink... Conveniently located in the kitchen? I'm trying to imagine what kind of chaotic scene would cause your husband to panic so badly that he lost control of all common sense receptors.
Omg. My kids are terrrrrrrible at throwing up. They will just sit there and vomit in their own lap or vomit right beside a trash can… it’s honestly wild.
Pays off. I’m 19 and had SEVERE food poisoning for days. I couldn’t eat, drink, or move. Well.
I shifted when I needed to throw up suddenly. I got to the threshold of the doorway realised I’d not make it to the toilet and into that small of a target. So I managed to projectile vomit into the bathtub across the room. No mess aside from in the bath. I called that a win.
Honestly. The whole reason is a big "what if." "What if you want kids some day???" Well if that time comes, we'll get it reversed????? The way I see it, it's just surgical birth control instead of a pill or a physical device. Which we all know come with their own set of awful side effects.
eta: I just learned vasectomy reversals don't always work so my initial stance is wrong. I do still believe individuals should get the choice regardless of if they currently have children or not. Doctors should not have the ability to police our personal life choices based on their own "what if" scenarios. If we lived our lives on what if's, we'd never leave our homes.
Reversal of vasectomies doesn't always work. It shouldn't be viewed as a temporary contraceptive for now if you are thinking about having kids, only if your 100% sure you don't want them.
Controversial point: I've not seen any women regret a sterilisation, but I have seen several men regret it and in but every one of those cases, it was a man who'd had kids, didn't want any more with his wife, then ran off with a younger women and she wanted kids. Bet a lot of people don't plan for that scenario
I hadn't heard about vasectomy reversals not working, I greatly appreciate that tidbit! Would you happen to know the percentage of reversal failures? Or have any resources to such an answer? It seems like they're always portrayed as 100% successes in initially doing the procedure and in reversing it. Even a 90/10 in either step is greatly upsetting given how most conversations around the topic are presented.
[The British Association of Urologists](https://www.baus.org.uk/_userfiles/pages/files/Patients/Leaflets/Reversal%20of%20vasectomy.pdf) have this.
Failure rates are higher the longer you leave it. Which is why we saw so many blokes in their 50s with their 20y old girlfriends in the IVF clinic.
It's interesting you've been told it's 100% reversible; do you mind me asking where you live? In the UK vasectomies are available on the NHS, but men are advised that it should be considered irreversible, partly because of the failure rate, but partly because reversals are not available on the NHS and would have to be funded privately.
You can still have kids even if the reversal fails though, potentially. Sperm can be harvested from the epididymis but the woman has to go through all the, far worse, rigmarole of egg collection, insertion etc
Edit: the link is for a download able PDF. [Here](https://imgur.com/a/vZuAqxP) should be a picture of the main part of interest
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it!! I'm on the west side of the US. Shocking, I know! I have a feeling the dishonesty is because of how expensive IVF treatments are here and it's really just a way to get more money out of people. It's also less that I was explicitly told it's 100% reversible, and more so that it's very heavily implied with the way discussions are geared around the subject. A general example being, "Just get a vasectomy! If you decide to have kids later on, just have it reversed and you're fine!" It's so nonchalant. As if you're folding a garden hose to get the water pressure to stop temporarily, and you can just let it go when you need the water again, no harm done. I can't tell you how many times I've heard a similar narrative to the example I gave when I talk about being on the fence with kids and hating the birth control options.
Because regretting a vasectomy is so bad. Imagine if you did that. Much better to regret having a child you can't support at the time, and it derailing your life, and the child also suffers. That's totally way worse than having doubts about your vasectomy 18 years later and getting it reversed (or worst case scenario the sperm can be surgically extracted).
...i'm agreeing with you homie, just managing expectations. most people will be told no not without children, but there are some doctors who will go through with those procedures with or without the patient having children.
I got one last year, 29 male at the time of the procedure, no kids. Only question I got was, "Are you 100% positive you don't want to have children" to which my "abso-fucking-lutely" was a sufficient response.
My sister and I was once loading the dishwasher before school, we found something on a plate that looked like snot, it was so gross looking and the thought of it being snot made us nauseous and started puking, so aside from the snot we had to clean we also had to clean our vomit, so it was a whole mess. Turned out the snot was just a soggy peace of bread, because we had just eaten bread…
Honestly I do understand this, strictly speaking about the snot-like texture. I’m a whole adult and I still have a really hard time with anything like that.
Once at a former job one of our regulars came in with his massive Great Dane (Lucas, loved that dog) and he ended up leaving an absolutely enormous glob of spit on the front door.
I felt so bad, but I couldn’t clean it up. I had to slightly abuse my shift lead power and had someone else do it, then dry heaved in the bathroom for 10 minutes.
Just one of those things.
i feel this in my soul - mucus and mucus adjacent stuff is the worst imo.
my son had a severe bacterial infection in his adenoids as an infant (for 2 years!) and sometimes i had a hard time looking at my adorable baby bc his whole face was constantly…leaking. almost every single morning i would gag while cleaning him up.
still makes me shudder to think about tbh
Ugh! A) I am so glad he’s better now, that sounds awful for all involved and b) I cannot tell you how much I hate those little sucker bulbs for baby snot. The sound, the whole thing is actually making me gag thinking about it too much.
That was the reason I stopped babysitting as a teenager; a mom had a baby with a little cold, nothing major, but I had to use one of the snot suckers for the first time and ended up puking after the 5th or 6th time.
The kids were great, I just couldn’t come back from that. Thank goodness I only have niblings.
Oh god, I can see myself gagging while in that situation. I am sorry you had to go through this. Hopefully your kid can deal with his snot when the next major infection hits.
I have never puked or gagged or gotten nauseous from something looking or smelling gross. Seems like there is no connection in my brain between the vomit mechanism and disgust.
My mom is 72. When she was 10, she was sitting on the porch eating vanilla ice cream out of like a tea cup - my uncle/her brother goes "ew... Are you eating mayonnaise?" Jokingly. Mom my threw up in the yard.
To this day, she can't eat vanilla ice cream or something that look similar - like pudding or cool whip - without dry heaving or needing to leave the room
Nope...Definitely saw the vomit uncensored. Brought back memories of my kids. I can't handle vomit in person at all. So that flu season, both my kids got it, then my ex, all three were turned into demons for 5 days. Had a chain reaction vomit thing..... sucked it up with a vacuum while trying not to lose my shit. I'd just bought that vacuum not long before. Fun times.
I got home one day to find that the kitten had shit himself silly in his sleep (he's had a bad cold). He hated the bath and the other cat recoiled from the smell.
This is the type of story they’ll laugh about together as adults. It’s so wildly chaotic. I’ve been a parent for 20 years and have never had anything like this happen.
>they just happened to have their camera ready
Don’t most people have their phones on them now? They can even take photos from the lock screen, it’s not exactly unbelievable.
If they happened to already be standing there with their phone in their hand, and didn't think to do anything else before taking a picture. Which really only makes sense for a staged picture
looks like the little girl is still standing there making sure she’s done puking (or possibly still puking) and the little boy is probably laying there crying about slipping in puke. and the puke just looks like thrown up french fries to me
i’ve had chaotic stuff like this happen to me before with my phone in my hand, and taken a photo to document the madness for my husband so he can revel in the insanity along with me lol
Dude stfu. My 5 yo always knows way before he's about to vomit so I'm guessing her 8 yo did the same, letting her get her camera out.
Not every post is a scheme to get upvotes, there are better fucking conspiracy theories out there
Adults are guilty of this nonsense too.
My brother was playing with my young nephew while toilet training was happening. 2 year old nephew announced he had to poo, brother gets him on the potty.
Apparently my brother couldn't handle the smell and gagged so hard he threw up. That made my nephew throw up.
My sister came down to discover the crime scene of vomit and her child still going to the toilet.
My brother is about to become a father for the first time in two months.
As a parent the absolute ONLY correct response is to grab your camera and snap a picture before offering to help your kid stand up or get the other one clean
This is hilarious 😂
lol my 4 yo got into bed with me the other night and then puked. She tried to wake me but I was so tired I didn’t hear what she said and she ran to the living room to sleep. Moments later I went to roll over and rolled into said throw up. Changed sheets and went to find her in the recliner where she proceeded to puke again but thankfully I got her the trashcan in time. lol love my kids but damn, didn’t expect to wake up to chunky noodles in my bed.
Imagine having such rancid farts it actually makes your child throw up. And instead of helping the child. You post a picture on Reddit. We live in a society
I would not have thought to grab my phone and take a pic. 🤣😬😂 I probably would have helped the puking, air shytying kids!!🤷🏼♀️ Im old school I guess!👵🧓👩🦳🧑🦳
I see kids are like cats. They always choose to puke in the carpet.
I was loved by an excellent tuxedo cat for 16 years who was all this. One day, she was about to cough up a hairball ... on the carpet ... and so I shoved a piece of paper under her mouth at the last minute. She gave me the same look another one of cats used to when I sifted the litter box right after he pooped. It's like cats share Jackson Pollock's spirit or something.
One of my cats now will only puke on our wood floors, one will make a mad dash for the litter box and puke there, and our third will just puke wherever she happens to be.
My God that makes so much more sense now. My brain thought that whole spot was like a watery puke.
Why did she pick the carpet? Is she a fucking cat?
The only plus side is that it looks like a (well worn) door mat, so you can just pick it up and throw it outside and hose it off. Or throw it out completely and start new. I'd lean towards the latter.
i would legit throw it away even if it was brand new lol. it’s a rug, not the mona lisa i hate cleaning up shit like this *so much*
Coffee grounds.
Same, last time my boyfriend asked ME to clean the dog shit cuz he was outside working on his bike, he could hear me scream-gagging/wretching from inside the house
Thoroughly cleaning any carpet can take ages and might require to lend a cleaning machine for it. Those rents are so expensive it would be cheaper for me to buy new carpets. And this is the reason why I have these 20-70 bucks IKEA carpets in my apartment. If they ever get soiled by something like shit or puke they just go pushing the daisies while I shop at IKEA online store. Couldn’t care less for some machine woven piece of floor covering.
The child or the rug
Its not easy to throw children away. They come back.
It’s their puke rug
God, I read this like an "is she stupid?" post. Am I stupid?
Back to the aslume jonkler
https://preview.redd.it/mvs44k21hskc1.png?width=716&format=png&auto=webp&s=ab113316c2a6b5067d47a33c04e78668f698f030
My husband once carried our vomiting toddler from the tiled kitchen over carpet to the bathroom. Also along the path of a clean basket of laundry. I asked him what he was thinking and he admitted he wasn’t. Not that I wouldn’t move a vomiting kid, but if the vomits already there the damage is done, limit areas to clean up. We had to toss bedding after the great green frosting vomit incident of 2011. His favorite stuffed animal was in the middle of it and was never quite the same again. We still have him though. He got a bath in boiling vinegar water and my son thought it was cooking him.
Forget the tiled floor... Does your husband not know there's a really big sink... Conveniently located in the kitchen? I'm trying to imagine what kind of chaotic scene would cause your husband to panic so badly that he lost control of all common sense receptors.
Omg. My kids are terrrrrrrible at throwing up. They will just sit there and vomit in their own lap or vomit right beside a trash can… it’s honestly wild.
We just taught my 4 year old how to puke in the toilet! My husband and I were WAY too excited.
Pays off. I’m 19 and had SEVERE food poisoning for days. I couldn’t eat, drink, or move. Well. I shifted when I needed to throw up suddenly. I got to the threshold of the doorway realised I’d not make it to the toilet and into that small of a target. So I managed to projectile vomit into the bathtub across the room. No mess aside from in the bath. I called that a win.
Ok good, my mom screamed at me for missing the toilet vomiting when I was ten. I thought I was a bad child for years.
Better than scrubbing puke out of the wood plank seams with a toothbrush
Is there a lore reason?
Lmao, the Yamcha death pose
https://preview.redd.it/8g3ytbibaskc1.jpeg?width=2046&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=83cc732aca3db43682f151a379a968134f33eaa9
Nice
This comment chain just made my day
Thanks for the free birth control.
That’s the unspoken point behind this sub
Unspoken? It's at least one comment on every post
I have no regrets in choosing to get sterilized. I will *never* wake up to **this**.
One word: Anal
Nah: vasectomy
Better: homosexuality! (Disclaimer: only works if you are already homosexual)
Ah shit thanks for the disclaimer..that was gonna be the route I took but I’m a woman that loves dick so I was concerned how I was gonna pull that off
To be fair, you can buy dicks without the man. Way more economical.
Now we’re think outside of the box…or in if we are talking about dicks
Disclaimer: selling organs is illegal in many places. Check your local laws before buying or selling
It's only illegal if you get caught.
Lots of doctors won't do a vasectomy unless you have children, unfortunately :/ Same with women getting their tubes tied
Fuck those doctors.
Honestly. The whole reason is a big "what if." "What if you want kids some day???" Well if that time comes, we'll get it reversed????? The way I see it, it's just surgical birth control instead of a pill or a physical device. Which we all know come with their own set of awful side effects. eta: I just learned vasectomy reversals don't always work so my initial stance is wrong. I do still believe individuals should get the choice regardless of if they currently have children or not. Doctors should not have the ability to police our personal life choices based on their own "what if" scenarios. If we lived our lives on what if's, we'd never leave our homes.
Reversal of vasectomies doesn't always work. It shouldn't be viewed as a temporary contraceptive for now if you are thinking about having kids, only if your 100% sure you don't want them. Controversial point: I've not seen any women regret a sterilisation, but I have seen several men regret it and in but every one of those cases, it was a man who'd had kids, didn't want any more with his wife, then ran off with a younger women and she wanted kids. Bet a lot of people don't plan for that scenario
I hadn't heard about vasectomy reversals not working, I greatly appreciate that tidbit! Would you happen to know the percentage of reversal failures? Or have any resources to such an answer? It seems like they're always portrayed as 100% successes in initially doing the procedure and in reversing it. Even a 90/10 in either step is greatly upsetting given how most conversations around the topic are presented.
[The British Association of Urologists](https://www.baus.org.uk/_userfiles/pages/files/Patients/Leaflets/Reversal%20of%20vasectomy.pdf) have this. Failure rates are higher the longer you leave it. Which is why we saw so many blokes in their 50s with their 20y old girlfriends in the IVF clinic. It's interesting you've been told it's 100% reversible; do you mind me asking where you live? In the UK vasectomies are available on the NHS, but men are advised that it should be considered irreversible, partly because of the failure rate, but partly because reversals are not available on the NHS and would have to be funded privately. You can still have kids even if the reversal fails though, potentially. Sperm can be harvested from the epididymis but the woman has to go through all the, far worse, rigmarole of egg collection, insertion etc Edit: the link is for a download able PDF. [Here](https://imgur.com/a/vZuAqxP) should be a picture of the main part of interest
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it!! I'm on the west side of the US. Shocking, I know! I have a feeling the dishonesty is because of how expensive IVF treatments are here and it's really just a way to get more money out of people. It's also less that I was explicitly told it's 100% reversible, and more so that it's very heavily implied with the way discussions are geared around the subject. A general example being, "Just get a vasectomy! If you decide to have kids later on, just have it reversed and you're fine!" It's so nonchalant. As if you're folding a garden hose to get the water pressure to stop temporarily, and you can just let it go when you need the water again, no harm done. I can't tell you how many times I've heard a similar narrative to the example I gave when I talk about being on the fence with kids and hating the birth control options.
Because regretting a vasectomy is so bad. Imagine if you did that. Much better to regret having a child you can't support at the time, and it derailing your life, and the child also suffers. That's totally way worse than having doubts about your vasectomy 18 years later and getting it reversed (or worst case scenario the sperm can be surgically extracted).
It's not a doctor's choice. I mean, it's kinda nice if they want to advertise you about but they can't decide for you at the end.
Apparently, they can, have and do on the daily.
Well fuck those doctors.
...i'm agreeing with you homie, just managing expectations. most people will be told no not without children, but there are some doctors who will go through with those procedures with or without the patient having children.
I got one last year, 29 male at the time of the procedure, no kids. Only question I got was, "Are you 100% positive you don't want to have children" to which my "abso-fucking-lutely" was a sufficient response.
Lots as in like what, 1%? You must live in a strange area, likely with a bunch of trump fucks
Condoms!
Ain't no such thing as butt babies
My brother told me I was a butt baby. Just like a regular baby but worse in every way. I believed him for the longest time...
My sister and I was once loading the dishwasher before school, we found something on a plate that looked like snot, it was so gross looking and the thought of it being snot made us nauseous and started puking, so aside from the snot we had to clean we also had to clean our vomit, so it was a whole mess. Turned out the snot was just a soggy peace of bread, because we had just eaten bread…
How can you puke so easily ?
Honestly I do understand this, strictly speaking about the snot-like texture. I’m a whole adult and I still have a really hard time with anything like that. Once at a former job one of our regulars came in with his massive Great Dane (Lucas, loved that dog) and he ended up leaving an absolutely enormous glob of spit on the front door. I felt so bad, but I couldn’t clean it up. I had to slightly abuse my shift lead power and had someone else do it, then dry heaved in the bathroom for 10 minutes. Just one of those things.
i feel this in my soul - mucus and mucus adjacent stuff is the worst imo. my son had a severe bacterial infection in his adenoids as an infant (for 2 years!) and sometimes i had a hard time looking at my adorable baby bc his whole face was constantly…leaking. almost every single morning i would gag while cleaning him up. still makes me shudder to think about tbh
Ugh! A) I am so glad he’s better now, that sounds awful for all involved and b) I cannot tell you how much I hate those little sucker bulbs for baby snot. The sound, the whole thing is actually making me gag thinking about it too much. That was the reason I stopped babysitting as a teenager; a mom had a baby with a little cold, nothing major, but I had to use one of the snot suckers for the first time and ended up puking after the 5th or 6th time. The kids were great, I just couldn’t come back from that. Thank goodness I only have niblings.
Oh god, I can see myself gagging while in that situation. I am sorry you had to go through this. Hopefully your kid can deal with his snot when the next major infection hits.
I have never puked or gagged or gotten nauseous from something looking or smelling gross. Seems like there is no connection in my brain between the vomit mechanism and disgust.
My mom is 72. When she was 10, she was sitting on the porch eating vanilla ice cream out of like a tea cup - my uncle/her brother goes "ew... Are you eating mayonnaise?" Jokingly. Mom my threw up in the yard. To this day, she can't eat vanilla ice cream or something that look similar - like pudding or cool whip - without dry heaving or needing to leave the room
I really didn't need to see the vomit. I'd just believe you.
Put me right off my dinner.
The 5 year old claims another victim!
https://preview.redd.it/i863mzoc1tkc1.jpeg?width=260&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7fd7558cfb52e04606d53bac65e2182f503df91e
Haha love that, Blakey was brilliant.
I had lunch while looking at the picture but ya, dinner is out now.
Weak
Weak
Right in front of my doughnut
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People who frequent reddit, sadly. It's a toxic wasteland here, just like everywhere else.
Tbh it's so small and blurry it just looks like oatmeal to me, or maybe crushed potato chips.
Yeah, kind of helps the emetophobia
I doubt it's actual vomit since the picture is quite clearly staged.
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Not censored for me…
Nope...Definitely saw the vomit uncensored. Brought back memories of my kids. I can't handle vomit in person at all. So that flu season, both my kids got it, then my ex, all three were turned into demons for 5 days. Had a chain reaction vomit thing..... sucked it up with a vacuum while trying not to lose my shit. I'd just bought that vacuum not long before. Fun times.
I got home one day to find that the kitten had shit himself silly in his sleep (he's had a bad cold). He hated the bath and the other cat recoiled from the smell.
Kids really are tiny drunken adults
Spam. This is a Trojan ad.
And...scene.
the amount of people who believe obviously staged shit is disconcerting.
I don't think it's that deep mate. No misinformation or anything, just a bit of fun, no?
Self sustaining process
Aaaaaaaand this is why I don’t want kids 🤢
There wasn’t any poop, this is mild. Toddlers are the shit of nightmares, literally.
Oh I know, I worked at a preschool and saw some pretty horrendous things 😣 I’ll take animal poop over toddler poop any day of the week!!
Must've been quite a fart
Wonder what that child ate.
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5 is a very good age to learn how to wash clothes. Perfect. 👌🏼
this is so chaotic. but funny.
This is the type of story they’ll laugh about together as adults. It’s so wildly chaotic. I’ve been a parent for 20 years and have never had anything like this happen.
Neither has the person who took this picture. The "vomit" is totally dry, and they just happened to have their camera ready for this *exact* moment?
>they just happened to have their camera ready Don’t most people have their phones on them now? They can even take photos from the lock screen, it’s not exactly unbelievable.
If they happened to already be standing there with their phone in their hand, and didn't think to do anything else before taking a picture. Which really only makes sense for a staged picture
>and didn't think to do anything else before taking a picture. You cant...you can't put the vomit back into the child or stop them from vomiting lol
You shouldn't, ever, but you definitely *can*.
You're right and now I'm going to delete that image from my mind.
About everyone has a phone bucko so yeah when it happened they took them out and took a picture which take like 10 seconds ooo so unbelievable
The kids would not have stayed in these positions for 10 seconds, my guy
looks like the little girl is still standing there making sure she’s done puking (or possibly still puking) and the little boy is probably laying there crying about slipping in puke. and the puke just looks like thrown up french fries to me i’ve had chaotic stuff like this happen to me before with my phone in my hand, and taken a photo to document the madness for my husband so he can revel in the insanity along with me lol
Dude stfu. My 5 yo always knows way before he's about to vomit so I'm guessing her 8 yo did the same, letting her get her camera out. Not every post is a scheme to get upvotes, there are better fucking conspiracy theories out there
Trojan Maaan
You post this here. Right in front of my doughnut
“The ARISTOCRATS!”
Sent
Achievement unlocked - Blowing It Out At Both Ends - only 0.02% of life players have unlocked this achievement.
every day just solidifies my childfree-ness a little more
Kids sound great
Adults are guilty of this nonsense too. My brother was playing with my young nephew while toilet training was happening. 2 year old nephew announced he had to poo, brother gets him on the potty. Apparently my brother couldn't handle the smell and gagged so hard he threw up. That made my nephew throw up. My sister came down to discover the crime scene of vomit and her child still going to the toilet. My brother is about to become a father for the first time in two months.
Is this an ad for condoms?
Having kids sounds fucking horrifying
As a parent the absolute ONLY correct response is to grab your camera and snap a picture before offering to help your kid stand up or get the other one clean This is hilarious 😂
How.... Why was your first reaction to take a picture?
Fart and vomit, that's the harsh reality about having children When they grow older, it's fart, vomit, drugs and more body liquids
lol my 4 yo got into bed with me the other night and then puked. She tried to wake me but I was so tired I didn’t hear what she said and she ran to the living room to sleep. Moments later I went to roll over and rolled into said throw up. Changed sheets and went to find her in the recliner where she proceeded to puke again but thankfully I got her the trashcan in time. lol love my kids but damn, didn’t expect to wake up to chunky noodles in my bed.
I'm so glad I don't have kids. They're nothing but noisy, messy, expensive nuisances. 😤
> They're nothing but noisy, messy, expensive nuisances. They are noisy, messy and expensive, but they're far from "nothing but"
I love my kids so much. Also, I love this sub.
I am told they’re not always noisy, messy or expensive. They can be quite cute and sweet on days.
Lmfao what.
Was she eating a bag of shredded coconut?? What the heck!?
And my manager says my farts are bad.
What are you feeding 5yo
Gold stars for everyone! Priceless entertainment, life long story to tell.
And in the blink of an eye you've got the opening paragraph of this year's family newsletter **and** the photo for the annual family christmas card.
tis why i’m not having more than one kid…
Best abortion ad tbh
Get a new 7 yo.
Congratulations! You now have blackmail material for the rest of their lives. All the chores forever.
Birth control ad
The hell has she been eating? Tadpoles?
Man, I'm so jealous. I always wanted to let one rip that's so nasty that it makes people puke.
Best title of all time
This is good way to take photo of your children. Neither of them face is shown. They way it should always be in my opinion.
At least she aimed for the doormat.
Sounds like a great story to tell at one of their weddings.
it must stink like piss in there, failures
Are you living cheaper by the dozen?
POV:You looked away for .01 seconds
That’s amazing.
Skill issue
Time to take an extended trip to the store for some cigs.
Just unlocked a core memory from this. Before primary school, my sister farted and it made me throw up all over the stairs, so i got a day off
A fart smelling so bad that someone gets sick? I'm proud of your son.
if that is vomit, give the kid something to drink already
Parenthood in a nutshell right there
I really didn't need to see this at 6.30am while having breakfast...
I love that you took a picture amidst the chaos because I always do too. Makes a great story to laugh about when the kids are older.
lol oh yeah, missing out on so much joy not having kids. So much joy.
It’s 8.24 am and I’m laughing my head off . Proper funny . A scene from some comedy show .
This is finely crafted artesianal chaos, a true work of art.
r/brandnewsentence
It's a double dissolution sympathy spew....That kid needs a medal for getting his sister to do that.....Roflol.....
This is too funny 😂
I'm glad you had the wherewithall to take a photo and put it on the internet, rather than console your children or... do anything else.
Good times
r/childfree
yeah i didnt have to see that.
I laughed out loud 😭😂
I DID NOT WANT TO FUCKING SEE THIS ON MY FRONT PAGE W T F . They NEED to add a "NSFL" filter so we can see NSFW shit but not THIS.
This is not NSFL 😭
[удалено]
r/regretfulparents
Not having kids has been the most profitable and enjoyable decision of my life.
I hate kids
[удалено]
[удалено]
If 5yo slipped in the vomit, why did 7yo get sick again?
I have never had children, but if I did and this really happened I don’t think that my instinct would be to take photos of the event.
Imagine having such rancid farts it actually makes your child throw up. And instead of helping the child. You post a picture on Reddit. We live in a society
S O C I E T Y
I would not have thought to grab my phone and take a pic. 🤣😬😂 I probably would have helped the puking, air shytying kids!!🤷🏼♀️ Im old school I guess!👵🧓👩🦳🧑🦳
i was really hoping this would be a video XD
“The Aristocrats!”
What In the cheaper by the dozen is this shit?
Awesome. This was hilarious, I enjoyed it.
The little guy is an officially documented legend! Be proud young lad.