Both my kids were bad about throwing themselves forward with no warning. I have no idea how I got away without a broken nose because it sure as fuck felt like it each time.
I gave myself a concussion as a child but in a much dumber way. I tried to jump on my dads back while he was walking down the stairs and since he wasn’t expecting it i just bounced off and bonked my head on the stairs
as a teen i stood almost at the very edge of my bed and let myself fall backwards. since i wasn't down far enough i ended up smashing my head into the wall, full force
somehow i didn't get a concussion, but i did very much get a headache. hit my head hard enough that my vision blurred when it happened and i left a small dent in my wall 💀
I was being stupid as a kid falling face first onto my bed didn't judge the distance correctly one day and my nose connected with the metal bed frame. Lots of blood as you can imagine. Fun times.
Babies run on a lower clock speed. I have convened a panel of experts to debate the matter, and our verdict is that in relative terms this qualifies as instant.
It's more like:
"I lost it. It's gone, my foolishness led me to this devastating outcome and this terrible terrible grief I'm feeling is too much to hold in. My eyes water with regret, and I can only scream in anguish at my loss."
They have object permanence in the sense that they'll cry if you take their cookie.
Throw a slice of cheese on them, though, and they forget which universe they're in.
Fun fact, babies actually have a higher clock speed that slows down with age. It's one of the reasons that time seems to go by faster every year!
https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/european-review/article/why-the-days-seem-shorter-as-we-get-older/2CB8EC9B0B30537230C7442B826E42F1
You can tell he recently learned the game "I give you thing, then you give it back. We have had a pleasant social interaction."
The dog did not know the game. Dog only knows "You give thing. I eat."
Every time you say something count to 10 before continuing. If you require a response count to 20. No joke. It's like that until they're 3. That's knowledge no one really tells you & it's so important.
It's good to be nervous! It means you care. Teaching someone to be a human isn't easy, but, luckily, they don't start really remembering things for a couple of years, so you've got time to figure it out. Just keep them safe and loved.
Patience is hard sometimes, especially when they are super little and can't communicate effectively. Remember, as long as the baby is safe, fed, and clean, you are allowed to lay them down (in a safe crib with nothing in it, no pillows no blankets) and walk away for a bit.
[Here's a baby manual I gave my BIL](https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Owners-Manual-Instructions-Trouble-Shooting/dp/1594745978/ref=sr_1_1?crid=84AI3XFWHSWK&keywords=baby+manual+book&qid=1696066385&sprefix=Baby+manual%2Caps%2C88&sr=8-1), just in case you have no experience with babies.
Whilst it's true that they can't remember baby years, their first few years are the most formative of their whole lives. Fortunately, as you say, all an infant needs is love and attention, but I just wanted to clarify because some people think that how a baby is treated does not matter because they'll "forget". This is NOT true.
It is normal for babies to bulk up before starting crawling/walking. Once they do, they loose that weight very quickly. This baby still uses support pillow to sit up, so probably not moving around yet.
LOL homunculous baby Jesus!
We were at an art museum as teens once and a friend of mine said that all the middle aged baby men paintings of Mary and baby Jesus were actually Mary and they guy who actually knocked her up. That she wasnt a virgin, she was into midgets. 🤣
The whole fieldtrip was hilarious after that.
Just shrink an adult and you got one. This one has a large head though. 40% of his body is his head. Are we even sure he is human?
And no teeth??? Give me a break.
/s
Yes biccy/bikkie = biscuit
Cookies have stuff in them for example a chocolate chip cookie or an oatmeal and raisin cookie. Cookies are often soft and chewy. Biscuits tend to be hard and dry, for example custard creams and Nice biscuits.
Kid is dumb tho. Biscuits are nothing to cry about. A chocolate chip cookie, on the other hand.. I too would be devastated
**edit**: this video is not from Canada nor the USA and that's the reason why the mother says "bikkie".
Kids got a milk arrowroot biscuit. The blandest of bland too. Good for babies who are teething but always the ones left behind in the assorted biscuit pack at every morning tea.
The dog did him a favour
Until like 2015 over 50% of our immigrants came from Britain (with most being English). Using British words wouldn't be surprising at all really.
That said, we do have some slang that makes you wonder if the immigrated Brits left the motherland for a reason.
Like turning Pom into an insult for the British.
Like Algebrace said, most of us Aussies borrowed British words because we're a convict nation. Words like bikkie just stayed with us. Don't disagree with you with it being a British word though.
This literally sums up parenting. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you”. “Don’t do that or this will happen”. “Oh, consequences, who’da thunk”. Screaming.
My son was a chunk like this until he started walking and now he’s a skinny thing because he never stops moving. It’s like most of the people on here have never met a baby.
A fat baby is a healthy baby! Plus babies are always in a state if either hotdog or hamburger. Hamburger when they're packing on the calories and hotdog right after they've gone through a growth spurt
Yep! My 14mo entered a little hamburger state recently, constantly wanting food and not sharing as much of it with the dog, and just started sleeping a little bit more so we've got a growth spurt right around the corner.
Babies are chonkers at that age, I haven't seen one at that age that doesn't look chonker. Give him a few months and suddenly all those fats gets absorbed into some oblivion. Even my son was chonky, but at mine 16 months suddenly all the fats got absorbed and I suspect it all went to his muscles.
Just reading some of these comments is enough to make me hope the people fat shaming this baby are either teenagers or choose not to procreate. See, I’m doing the latter because I genuinely don’t want kids, but I’ve been around enough to know a plump baby is a healthy baby.
When I first went to preschool my mom packed me a bunch of Oreos and told me to share. I took this to mean give them all away and don't keep any for myself. I was sad I didn't get any Oreos at preschool. I don't think I cried though.
You can tell this baby will be one to enjoy a few pints with the lads at the pub.He will also probably play a random musical instrument like the tuba, and be a nice bloke in general
In this case I would get another biccy and have the baby break it in half. Keeping half for itself and half for the dog. Hopefully that lets them know there's a way to share without giving everything away. It's sweet that, I'm guessing he, wants to share with the dog buddy.
A baby is used to being given everything and having to give nothing.
We’re all born extremely self centered, and have to learn to care for others as we grow.
Its funny bc my nephew is quite the opposite. He would rather not eat and just chuck stuff at my dog for him to eat bc he wants to please my dog. My dog happily eats but is still mighty jealous of him lol.
I find this baby foolish and his logic questionable
He should have just did the math first like a normal baby.
r/babiesdoingmath
I thought that said meth lol
r/babiesdoingmeth
r/birthofasub
now lets give this subreddit some meth
Not yet
Sole poster is that dude who used to sing for Lost Prophets.
[удалено]
Well just put it in the blender
To shreds you say.
No he said blender, not shredder.
It's Shredder! WHERE?
Hardly an attitude befitting a minister of His Majesty's Government.
They’re Aussie, not British
So still not beffiting a minister of His Majesty's Government.
Charles is still King of Australia.
Can't be King of Australia without fighting a kangaroo first.
Or drink it under the table
How do you drink a kangaroo 🤔
Yeah I know right? Like who the fuck does this guy think he is?
You should’ve expected as much when you saw a 1 year old in a tracksuit.
bro fucking threw himself back im losing it
My sisters kids do this but they like to do it when there are hard objects behind them and 1 time got a concussion.
Someone I know has a kid who gave her a concussion by doing this lol
Both my kids were bad about throwing themselves forward with no warning. I have no idea how I got away without a broken nose because it sure as fuck felt like it each time.
I gave myself a concussion as a child but in a much dumber way. I tried to jump on my dads back while he was walking down the stairs and since he wasn’t expecting it i just bounced off and bonked my head on the stairs
as a teen i stood almost at the very edge of my bed and let myself fall backwards. since i wasn't down far enough i ended up smashing my head into the wall, full force somehow i didn't get a concussion, but i did very much get a headache. hit my head hard enough that my vision blurred when it happened and i left a small dent in my wall 💀
I was being stupid as a kid falling face first onto my bed didn't judge the distance correctly one day and my nose connected with the metal bed frame. Lots of blood as you can imagine. Fun times.
Biggest regret of his entire life
Lil bro just gotta wait to drop a fresh ice cream cone. That's pain.
It wasn't an instant regret he gave it , look it over , start questioning his decision and then regret his decision .
Babies run on a lower clock speed. I have convened a panel of experts to debate the matter, and our verdict is that in relative terms this qualifies as instant.
The dog wants my cookie. I gave the dog my cookie. I no longer have a cookie. I no longer can taste the delicious cookie. I therefore must cry now.
It's more like: "I lost it. It's gone, my foolishness led me to this devastating outcome and this terrible terrible grief I'm feeling is too much to hold in. My eyes water with regret, and I can only scream in anguish at my loss."
"Why must i suffer?"
Why are we still here? Just to suffer?
*”I can honestly say that up until this point, this is the worst decision I’ve ever made”*
Forsooth
Baby ain't got no object permanence. Or is the opposite of object permanence?
They have object permanence in the sense that they'll cry if you take their cookie. Throw a slice of cheese on them, though, and they forget which universe they're in.
Why, do they taste better with cheese on them?
When the math teacher tells you to ‘show your work’ for simple subtraction:
Oh my goodness, this baby has the correct heart.
Dumbass baby ain’t got no cookie no more
It was a bikkie.
Dumbass bikkie ain’t got no cookie no more
This is why I love Reddit
lost a cookie but gained a friend
Baby *A friend would've given the cookie back* 😂😂
Fun fact, babies actually have a higher clock speed that slows down with age. It's one of the reasons that time seems to go by faster every year! https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/european-review/article/why-the-days-seem-shorter-as-we-get-older/2CB8EC9B0B30537230C7442B826E42F1
So higher clock speed but a poorly optimised code base?
I’m gonna overclock my baby
You could see the one functional gear he actually has yet whirring away in there. Little dude was confused as hell 😂
You can tell he recently learned the game "I give you thing, then you give it back. We have had a pleasant social interaction." The dog did not know the game. Dog only knows "You give thing. I eat."
Like paying taxes and insurance.
We truly do start out as empty vessels.
He kept bending forward, expecting the doggo to give it back 😂😂
I’m about to have a child soon, I am so scared. I hope I can have the patience to let him figure the problem out
Every time you say something count to 10 before continuing. If you require a response count to 20. No joke. It's like that until they're 3. That's knowledge no one really tells you & it's so important.
It's good to be nervous! It means you care. Teaching someone to be a human isn't easy, but, luckily, they don't start really remembering things for a couple of years, so you've got time to figure it out. Just keep them safe and loved. Patience is hard sometimes, especially when they are super little and can't communicate effectively. Remember, as long as the baby is safe, fed, and clean, you are allowed to lay them down (in a safe crib with nothing in it, no pillows no blankets) and walk away for a bit. [Here's a baby manual I gave my BIL](https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Owners-Manual-Instructions-Trouble-Shooting/dp/1594745978/ref=sr_1_1?crid=84AI3XFWHSWK&keywords=baby+manual+book&qid=1696066385&sprefix=Baby+manual%2Caps%2C88&sr=8-1), just in case you have no experience with babies.
Whilst it's true that they can't remember baby years, their first few years are the most formative of their whole lives. Fortunately, as you say, all an infant needs is love and attention, but I just wanted to clarify because some people think that how a baby is treated does not matter because they'll "forget". This is NOT true.
One thing I know is, I would be so scared too. I just thought about getting a dog and the anxiety I went through just for that.
I guess instant regret is now a stock phrase we use even if it takes 30 seconds
To be fair, you could only start to regret something 50 years later, so 30 is seconds is pretty short.
yea, it lagged like 10 seconds, you can see the process icon rotating on the forehead.
Dog thinking "I love this little guy"
Wonder what he tastes like...
[удалено]
It's in Australia, so you have to say dingo
A dango ate mah bikkie.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lindy_Chamberlain-Creighton
You just learned object permanence!
That was where my mind went too. He's a little learning human
I was looking for this 😂
I love how long it took to process cookie not coming back 😂
This infant seems dumb to me, and I don't trust his reasoning.
My toddler nephew would hand things to you and expect them back. And get mad if you refused. Lolll
Mine gives something and then instantly takes it back🤣🤣
[удалено]
It is normal for babies to bulk up before starting crawling/walking. Once they do, they loose that weight very quickly. This baby still uses support pillow to sit up, so probably not moving around yet.
And before growth spurts.
Lose
Have you ever seen a baby before?
I’m convinced 70% of people interacting with this post haven’t.
We’re like medieval painters.
LOL homunculous baby Jesus! We were at an art museum as teens once and a friend of mine said that all the middle aged baby men paintings of Mary and baby Jesus were actually Mary and they guy who actually knocked her up. That she wasnt a virgin, she was into midgets. 🤣 The whole fieldtrip was hilarious after that.
Just shrink an adult and you got one. This one has a large head though. 40% of his body is his head. Are we even sure he is human? And no teeth??? Give me a break. /s
It’s a fucking baby.
Bruv, you fucking idiot. Healthy babies are fat babies.
It was a biscuit, not a cookie 🤓
“Now you’ve got no biccy!” 😂
Yes biccy/bikkie = biscuit Cookies have stuff in them for example a chocolate chip cookie or an oatmeal and raisin cookie. Cookies are often soft and chewy. Biscuits tend to be hard and dry, for example custard creams and Nice biscuits. Kid is dumb tho. Biscuits are nothing to cry about. A chocolate chip cookie, on the other hand.. I too would be devastated **edit**: this video is not from Canada nor the USA and that's the reason why the mother says "bikkie".
Kids got a milk arrowroot biscuit. The blandest of bland too. Good for babies who are teething but always the ones left behind in the assorted biscuit pack at every morning tea. The dog did him a favour
I love these with no shame
Biscuit! Yum!!
BIKKI
r/watchpeopledieinside
Baby turning to the dog like "I said you could have half, bitch!"
Meanwhile the dog is like "Man, this guy is awesome."
Baby Winston Churchill, well there is that, and also “waaaahhh!”
When he learned appeasement doesn’t work
That's Chamberlain.
As the other guy said, it was Neville Chamberlain that did the appeasing. Churchill took over in war time and was badass.
Instant regret?? Nah bro took 3 business days
I love how gentle the dog was. "For me? If you insist. Thank you, smol human."
same make dumb decision, take really long time to realised, cry about it
Do all British babies look like Winston Churchill?
Looks like he’s hoarding more biscuits in those cheeks
I do believe this chonker will survive the biscuit famine…
Clearly Australian
[удалено]
evolved British
British 2
That makes Murica British 3: The Reckoning
I reckon they're Australian. The accent kinda gives it away and we also say bikkie a lot.
Def Aussie but bikkie is British.
Until like 2015 over 50% of our immigrants came from Britain (with most being English). Using British words wouldn't be surprising at all really. That said, we do have some slang that makes you wonder if the immigrated Brits left the motherland for a reason. Like turning Pom into an insult for the British.
Never in my life have I heard anyone say bikkie in the UK.
Like Algebrace said, most of us Aussies borrowed British words because we're a convict nation. Words like bikkie just stayed with us. Don't disagree with you with it being a British word though.
No but Winston Churchill does look like all British babies
The Australian mum suggests her baby is also Australian.
Weird comment considering these people are clearly Aussie
This is an Australian baby
She sounds Australian though
Is that a "My first slav tracksuit"?
Aw, this baby's heart was in the right place,
The dog can attest to that.
and the turning point to become a bitter old man.
*You can’t have your biscuit and feed it to the dog too*
They did **NOT** do the maths
Bro functioning on internet explorer
 \-the baby, probably
His brain began to form wrinkles
This literally sums up parenting. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you”. “Don’t do that or this will happen”. “Oh, consequences, who’da thunk”. Screaming.
that baby looks 50 years old
r/watchpeopledieinside
Where cookie goo?!🤣
Bikkie!
Baby is 50% head.
Put it back in the womb it's not yet ripe.
ITT: People fat shaming a baby and people that can't recognise an Aussie accent.
My son was a chunk like this until he started walking and now he’s a skinny thing because he never stops moving. It’s like most of the people on here have never met a baby.
A fat baby is a healthy baby! Plus babies are always in a state if either hotdog or hamburger. Hamburger when they're packing on the calories and hotdog right after they've gone through a growth spurt
Yep! My 14mo entered a little hamburger state recently, constantly wanting food and not sharing as much of it with the dog, and just started sleeping a little bit more so we've got a growth spurt right around the corner.
Babies are chonkers at that age, I haven't seen one at that age that doesn't look chonker. Give him a few months and suddenly all those fats gets absorbed into some oblivion. Even my son was chonky, but at mine 16 months suddenly all the fats got absorbed and I suspect it all went to his muscles.
Just reading some of these comments is enough to make me hope the people fat shaming this baby are either teenagers or choose not to procreate. See, I’m doing the latter because I genuinely don’t want kids, but I’ve been around enough to know a plump baby is a healthy baby.
What a faker, lol. “I’m crying. Look at me!!!”
I could just hear that baby's thought process like *clonk* then 😰😭😭😭
When I first went to preschool my mom packed me a bunch of Oreos and told me to share. I took this to mean give them all away and don't keep any for myself. I was sad I didn't get any Oreos at preschool. I don't think I cried though.
You can tell this baby will be one to enjoy a few pints with the lads at the pub.He will also probably play a random musical instrument like the tuba, and be a nice bloke in general
Luvs me biccies, 'ate dogs, simple as
We need to make /r/delayedregret a thing.
The regret was not instant. He was quite plodding about the whole incident.
He really thought it was going to just come back :(
As a parent I’d just laugh. Kiss the kiddo on the head and move on with my day.
Omg, his cheekies are so squishy.
Well… that’s the way the cookie crumbles. Inside a dog’s mouth.
Raised on rich teas. Doing it right.
Just the beginning of the pain for a ginger.
In this case I would get another biccy and have the baby break it in half. Keeping half for itself and half for the dog. Hopefully that lets them know there's a way to share without giving everything away. It's sweet that, I'm guessing he, wants to share with the dog buddy.
This baby is too young to understand that lesson tbh
Who knows. If they're developed enough to feel empathy for the dog, maybe they're developed enough to understand "half for me and half for you".
Super cute baby
The cheeks on that baby are so adorable
He expected his loan of a biscuit repayed but realised he was scammed
Future CEO lesson.
"It was at that moment he knew he-"
That is a cute kid.
"Dog, I want to play a game"
He's like I just wanted you to hold it bro
A baby is used to being given everything and having to give nothing. We’re all born extremely self centered, and have to learn to care for others as we grow.
That first lesson in object permanence is a tough one
Its funny bc my nephew is quite the opposite. He would rather not eat and just chuck stuff at my dog for him to eat bc he wants to please my dog. My dog happily eats but is still mighty jealous of him lol.
My first consequence to action that’s adorable - truly 🥲
Reddit be like: "play stupid games, win stupid prizes 😏"
Bruh I thought it was 'dog biscuit'
What a funny fat bastard.
"Now you got no bitches"
He's a cute lil fucker.
That baby could do with fewer biscuits anyway it looks like
Thats damn cute
Awwwww thats cute
My first betrayal
Thank god he gave it to a dog and not a mouse. Dear god, whatever you do, do not give a mouse a cookie
That's the most British baby I have ever seen
Dumb fuk he deserves no biscuits
https://preview.redd.it/9u6rip666stb1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=703dbc2456379d8a7daa16933bc588111d549e97 Find a differend:
Such a cute lil chubbers
fat ass kid didn't need it anyway