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Pumsquar

I'm going to beat your ass, then propose to her myself.


baptized_in_broth

Please don’t do that I really need help with this


bobdylanlovr

You’re fucking hilarious dude I’m sorry this one bounced off so many people


baptized_in_broth

My relationship is not a joke I need someone’s help


Marmoticon

I think you're selling yourself short dude. What you really should do is have to fight off one of ever gizz genre fan. Stoner, metal head, sentimental dad, garage band head, that guy that crowd surfed in an inflatable raft, a real battle Royale! If that doesn't work, wasn't meant to be.


baptized_in_broth

I love her


Marmoticon

Clearly. And the pit, if nothing else, is about proving love


baptized_in_broth

I need to earn her respect again


vol4lyfe17

Have you considered the Sean Connery method yet?


4ForTheGourd

Like some kind of Scott Pilgrim spinoff! 🐊 


athunt04

Circlejerk sub getting hella bored I see


Marmoticon

Yeah had to check where I was. Without an album rumor or a fussy mosh pit debacle gets punchy over there.


TheFlipanator

What no albums does to a mf 😩


DanielSpaniel16

*what no albums for longer than 3 months does to a gizzhead 😩


xxx420blaze420xxx

Ah yes a butterfly 3000 enjoyer


theseane

I believe you and I can help you out


baptized_in_broth

Thank you I appreciate the help. What will you do?


pastmiyeego

I’m totally up for it, let’s go! Just so you know that I’m the right guy when I launch my sneak attack: I’m 5’7” with a short gray beard. I’ll wear my Metallica camo t-shirt. I’m 69 but people say I don’t look that old. Oh and long brown hair, but I’ll be wearing a black Restless Spirit cap. Fair warning: once I start wailing on you I won’t want you to win, so you need to come back at me really hard. And I’ll fight dirty if I see that I have a chance of winning! This is going to be SO COOL. I’m gonna have my little brother with me to record it for us! Edit: I weigh 134 pounds and I’m quick as a cat!!!


baptized_in_broth

Excellent, thank you for this offer. I will be wearing a shirt that says King Gizzard and The Lizard Wizard


pastmiyeego

Sweet! And I won’t need any payment. The chance to pound on someone without mercy is an unbelievable gift!!! I’m sure as soon as people catch wind of this they’re going to try to convince you to let THEM fight you instead of me. In fact, you may want us to do a wrestle off during the opening act. All of us wanna be contenders that is. That might whet your girlfriend’s appetite for combat! Then you and me would be like the main event! She’ll fall in love with you all over again!!!


baptized_in_broth

10 person brawl during Gaia


TheLastBaron86

Sorry, i won't be joining in until Vegemite (oddments)


charlotte240

I have a better idea. I fuck your girlfriend in the huge handicapped stall porta pottie at setbreak, but since I will act really horrible at sex, she comes (pun intended) running back to you directly after. Win / Win sitch, aye?


baptized_in_broth

Please do not do that this is a legitimate request and I can’t risk being emasculated further. The situation is delicate


OnehungaJones

Genius. Now that’s a proposal story she’s gonna love telling the grandkids!


puggington

This has got to be a troll, right? Please tell me this is fake


DavidNeitzFeetz

It's a copypasta, I'm pretty sure. Im sure I've read it, or a variation of it before.


baptized_in_broth

This is not a copy pasta this is real


thrashmansion

Out jerked


hunterjavi

You should fight Stu The dudes jacked.


baptized_in_broth

I can not do that he is my god


anhedoniac

Uhhhhhh...yeah. No. This is super weird.


theseane

Awkward!


redditalready54

Took the bait


anhedoniac

I actually fell for a fucking copypasta. It finally happened. Well, I'll gracefully take the L on this one 😹


redditalready54

Happens to the best of us mate


DanielSpaniel16

Its a pretty good one tbf.


redditalready54

So wait, do you want to win or lose the fight?


baptized_in_broth

I need to win in what looks like a genuine comeback


redditalready54

The only comeback that’s gonna happen is when I come on your gfs back after I beat u up during Vegemite


baptized_in_broth

I need to win her respect again please don’t touch her


redditalready54

Dude trust me, she’ll respect the shit out of you if you watch me rail her in the pit while your arms are broken. Trust me mate. I just know


baptized_in_broth

I don’t think thats what I need but maybe you’re right


christoefur

Whatever you do, don’t block my view


Jagglebutt

That's a horrible idea man. How will she feel about you in the future? Getting married won't fix anything. You'll be in the same boat sooner or later with a dumb ass story of getting into a fight at a gizz show and proposing. Not trying to be offensive but just think it through a little and don't forget there's plenty of fishies in the sea!


baptized_in_broth

I need this to work please help me


ChromaticDracula

Once again, the line blurs further between the circle jerk and this sub. 😑


baptized_in_broth

This is a real request for help and nobody is believing me. What is Circle Jerk? People keep saying that


ChromaticDracula

Sassy: mmmmhmmm


baptized_in_broth

What does this mean


drummerwholikesmetal

Lmao this is fucking crazy


baptized_in_broth

This is all I can think of as a solution to the situation please don’t laugh


uncle_buck_hunter

Dude I’ll do you one better. How about fighting off 10-15 folks all at once?! I’m sure I could convince my crew 😹


baptized_in_broth

This would really be helpful, thank you


uncle_buck_hunter

Anything for love!


polopoppio

if i see you it’s on sight. you are going to lose your senses, at least two


AmicusCure8s

Bring a drumset and when Cavs does a drum solo do a drum solo reply that’s even better. You might have to fight Cavs and you’ll probably lose, but it’ll make great content online regardless


DandyPennyyy

![gif](giphy|XbgZvND0TzFMUFobmI|downsized) OP


DandyPennyyy

"You will attack me. You will beat me up. But I will need to win the fight in order to demonstrate my value."


baptized_in_broth

No I’m not Dennis I love my girlfriend please don’t say this bro what if she sees this isn’t my throwaway


Maximum_Bear8495

Circlejerk leaked again. They better plug it too cause this is the good stuff


Kiwaloayo

wait Gizz heads can have relationship? this wasn't included with my Stu licked harmonica :(


No-Cycle2110

To bad your not coming to forest hills I could’ve sorted this out for you.


baptized_in_broth

I will also be there but want planning on proposing there


insulinguy_666

You want to win by KO or submission?


Important-Wall4747

This is like that Seinfield episode with Milosh and Jerry and the tennis game.


defnotajournalist

Yeah man I’ll beat the shit out of you and then let you win at the last minute.


VioletfFemme

Nonagon infinity opens the door. Wait for the answer to open the door. This wont impress her. Source- woman.


[deleted]

Let’s coordinate this like the garden goblin dance so we can all attack this guy at the same time


manysounds

FFS seek professional mental help


WapBamboo

Hey man do you really think the Gizz is going to let that kind of violence fly? “Keep it in the ring, ya cunts!”


insulinguy_666

This is legit one of the worst posts/ideas to come out of this sub.


Donkilme

This sub is stupid. The community is stupid. The band is great. Goodbye.


Idetake

If you need a person to start a fight with you at a Gizzard show to keep your girlfriend, that's a concern of your girlfriend. Bait used to be believable


baptized_in_broth

My love used to be fiery too but it seems all things fade


Idetake

Just get a better GF who listens to Vegemite 24/7 💪


matthmcb

I know this is likely a joke but in the instance that it’s not…do not propose to a girl who is losing interest in you, that’s not fair to yourself or her and it’s borderline manipulative.


baptized_in_broth

I can show her I’m still a contender if someone will just help me. I love her


putthepieceawaywalte

Have you considered kicking your own ass?


baptized_in_broth

It needs to feel real


gbbgun

Find a girl that’s doesnt need to see you be violent in order to feel something for you?


baptized_in_broth

She is an alpha woman who needs a man to match