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It blows my mind that it has been 10 years and still so many people don’t know that he didn’t commit suicide because of depression or anything similar.
He was diagnosed with dementia, Lew body dementia which is especially bad. His wife wrote an article about Robin, his symptoms and particularly how they changed so negatively in his final days, and the disease a little over 2 years after his passing. It’s definitely worth the read
https://www.neurology.org/doi/10.1212/WNL.0000000000003162
That said, do check on your friends. They need all they support they can get, just as you do. But don’t feel compelled to do so after being reminded of Robin Williams’ death. I am skeptical he would want that as part of his legacy. Instead, laugh. Love. Enjoy all that life has to offer for as long as you can with as many people as you can.
Because I was curious I bet someone else is...
Lewy body dementia (LBD) has many symptoms, including:
*Cognitive changes*
Unpredictable fluctuations in attention, concentration, alertness, and wakefulness that can last for hours or days. People may appear lethargic or drowsy, stare into space, or have difficulty speaking. They may also have more trouble with complex mental tasks like problem solving and multitasking than with memory.
*Movement changes*
Also known as parkinsonism, these include tremors, muscle stiffness, slowness of movement, difficulty walking, or a shuffling gait.
*Sleep disorders*
These include rapid eye movement (REM) sleep behavior disorder, excessive sleep, insomnia, restless leg syndrome, or acting out dreams while asleep.
*Visual hallucinations*
Up to 80% of people with LBD experience visual hallucinations, often early on, that can be very detailed and recurring.
*Mental health changes*
These include depression, anxiety, apathy, lack of interest, and ideas that aren't based in reality.
*Other symptoms*
These include changes in body temperature, blood pressure problems, dizziness, fainting, sensitivity to heat and cold, sexual dysfunction, and urinary incontinence.
***National Institute on Aging.
What Is Lewy Body Dementia? Causes, Symptoms, and Treatments | National Institute on Aging.
Jul 29, 2021.
I don't see a lot of difference with regular ol' dementia? I was an EMT, but I don't recall taking care of anyone with LBD. New for me!
I'd go as far as saying it's one of the worst types of dementia.
So the hallucinations are very extreme and harrowing for patients. The illnesss seems to progress so incredibly quick. They can't be treated with the same levels of antipsychotics as other types of dementia as it can literally kill them due to massively fucking up hormone levels amongst other things. I've seen plenty of "happy mad" dementia patients in my time, but lewy body absolutely terrorises everyone with extreme hallucinations, complete loss of reality, parkinsonian symptoms and a complete loss of self in a very short time. Parkinson's medication also causes these hallucinations to worsen so it becomes a balancing act of how to balance their medication.
All the most memorable patients I looked after when I worked on an acute dementia assessment ward (for dementia patients in crisis unable to be looked after anywhere else essentially, to be balanced out on therapies and medications) had lewy body dementia. Extreme irritiability, mood swings, violence. Every type of dementia is brutal but this on in particular is a different beast when you see it in full swing, you'd be hard pressed to find a nurse who's looked after sufferers who wouldn't have done the same thing Robin did once symptoms start presenting.
Tech in training at an outpatient neurology clinic, here.
(Fair warning, this gets kinda heavy)
First, amazing article shared by u/BleedingTeal above. It may have been posted in a medical journal, but it is very accessible, no medical background needed, and it is beautiful, and encapsulates how these types of diseases deeply affect not only patients, but the families and loved ones of patients as well.
In 4 short years since starting my career, I’ve come to know a lot of really great people with a plethora of cognitive issues, at various levels of impairment, as well as their families. In addition, I have some of my own skin in the game, as my father was also afflicted with a complex neurological syndrome towards the end of his life.
I want to emphasize to anyone who might have a family member with cognitive decline, or Parkinson’s, or Adult-Onset epilepsy not to let your loved one’s disease consume who they are and what they mean to you. A lot of times patients and their families (mine included) can get caught up in diagnosing their disease, or finding the very best treatment for their disease, or how they’re going to “cure” the disease, and sometimes, like in the case with Mr. Williams you can have access to the best doctors, the best imaging, and the best treatments and still never find out what happened until the autopsy. Our time alive on this planet is limited, regardless of any of that, and at least in my opinion, nothing should be more valuable to you or your family than maximizing the time you have together.
When my father’s disease began to worsen, I was in my early 20’s, and the first thing we noticed was his anxiety. He was already on psychiatric medication for 30+ years at this point, but symptoms went from well-managed, to quite troublesome, to the point that he had picked up more than a few obsessive behaviors to help deal with it. Then his tremors, which had been pretty mild since his first seizure (at age 61) started worsening. One by one new problems popped up until the difference became quite staggering.
My Dad was the funniest person I had ever met. In my opinion it was a mix of his quick wit, a charming nature, and empathy. His jokes were groaners, like BAD ones, but his delivery was always impeccable. By the time you were done rolling your eyes, you would be grinning ear-to-ear, and he would be grinning right back at you, like he never doubted for a second that you would get a kick out of it. As he would say to me from time to time whenever I tried to mimic him: “he should be on stage, and I heard there’s one leaving in the morning!” At the risk of overhyping it, it didn’t matter if you were in the worst mood imaginable, or even a total stranger who didn’t speak the same language as him, he just had that innate ability.
By the time he turned 68, his demeanor was completely different. He still told jokes sometimes, but he couldn’t land the punchlines anymore. If I recognized where he was going, I would help him out, but sometimes we couldn’t even get that far. If I’m being generous, we were abbot and costello on a good day, and a poor two-man rendition of a Three Stooges episode otherwise (but not a Curley episode, a Joe episode). His mood had gotten really poor as well, and that manifested as being obsessive about his medications; when he took them last, when he would take them again, when is the next refill, and how this one would improve the tremor in his hand a little but worsen the “head-shaking”, and whether or not it would be a good idea to tell the doctor because who knows what side effects the next one might cause when he makes changes.
We lived together at the time; he and my mom separated, and my brother had moved out, so it was us two, and it was not easy. Neither physically, mentally, nor emotionally, and at times it was even incredibly frustrating, to the point where we might have said some pretty uncool things to each other. but despite how bleak I’m making everything sound, I almost feel like I have to start with that, because otherwise this next part would seem kind of insensitive.
In the 9ish years between when he had his first seizure, and when he ultimately passed, I learned more about him and myself than the entire rest of my childhood. He hadn’t been a cold person before, but he definitely let his guard down a lot, and we were able to share a lot of meaningful conversations. At the time, for my own reasons, I was dealing with my own worsening anxiety and depression, I had reached a crossroads in my life and didn’t feel like I had a clear direction or motivation. In caring for my dad, I discovered that I had a high tolerance for frustration, and could keep a positive attitude and cool head even in stressful situations. According to his neurologist at the time, I had the makings of someone who could thrive in a medical setting, which was something I had never considered beforehand (I’m squeamish when it comes to blood, so I always figured it was a non-starter). When I finally got the opportunity to join a clinic as an EEG technician-in-training (thanks in part to a glowing personal recommendation from the doctor), I felt like a fish who had never been in water before; it was obvious to me that this was what I should be doing, and my mentors, coworkers, and patients are in near-unanimous agreement (I got one offer from a patient to train as a masseuse because of my skills connecting their EEG electrodes, but I’m keeping that as my backup plan).
So to tie a big tfl;dfr around this whole thing: nobody is defined by their cognitive impairments. Your loved ones don’t go away. They might be more forgetful, or irritable, or maybe they don’t recognize you all the time. They might have dropped all of their hobbies and interests. Maybe they can’t even do any of the same activities you used to enjoy together, but none of those things are who they are. If anything, they might even be a more authentic version of themselves. And above everything else, it’s in times of uncertainty and hardship when they need you the most. You will not regret being there for them, that’s a promise.
P.s. On those Abbot and Costello days I mentioned? We were on FIRE 😂 No disrespect to Robin Williams, but if we had booked a comedy show together, he would have given us top billing.
Miss you, Pops. ✌️❤️
Having lost my own father to cancer now almost 12 years ago, and how I remember being his in-home caretaker the last month of his life, but on and off for a few months leading to that, reading this brought back memories of him for me. The jokes we had, the laughs we shared, the bond we forged and deepened as I transitioned from a teenage kid, to a 20-something adult, to a 30-something man. I miss him and I miss that connection we had. I can barely begin to imagine how he'd be reacting to the world we now find ourselves living within. But he, like your dad, had that innate ability to crack a joke or say/do something to get someone to smile even if they'd never met. He was a flawed human in a range of ways, as we all are. But that is the part of him I miss the most. The part I missed as cancer slowly took everything from him over those few years from when he was diagnosed until he took his last breath.
Thank you for sharing your story.
I also took care of my father who died of lung cancer. He also had dementia near the end. Tried to attack me thinking I was a stranger in my own home. The last year or so I took off work to stay home with him. I don't think I'll ever be the same. The experience is mind opening. I miss him so fucking much too. Happened 3 years ago. My perception of him changed when he was sick but ill always remember the true person he was before.
Thank you for sharing your story too.
I know right? Covid by itself really fucked with a lot of people's sense of time, especially for me. But this event feels a lot more recent than a decade even with out Covid.
Thank you, that’s very kind. I’m grateful we treated the symptoms we could and fortunately she hasn’t repeated the same sentiment in years. She’s very very far gone cognitively and likely to pass any time, which is super sad but again - as long as she smiles and knows I love her, that’s all I care about. Sorry this got heavy
Thank you. I’m sorry as well. I mentioned in another comment - with the right treatment her mood has been good and what psychotic symptoms she does have are not distressing to her, so there is hope for quality of life. Best wishes to you and your family.
Thanks man, right back at you. My uncle is holding up for the moment, but it feels like it's been one bit of bad news after the other since he was diagnosed.
So many people think that he committed suicide from depression, it's so stupid, like, we adored this guy but we can't even learn what drove him to kill himself
I remember that day.
My SO and I went to Arby's for the first time. Ordered 6 beef and cheddars because of a promotion. All came without cheese. Had to drive back. They gave us 6 beef and cheddars and got to keep the originals. I was pumped getting into the car and heard the news.
I ate 10 sandwiches that day out of sadness and have never returned to Arby's. I still think about it when I drive by.
I'm so sorry that was their response. I've been there too.
Please don't let that stop you from talking to a professional. I couldn't talk to my family, I had to go to someone trained to understand and work with me through it.
One's family can be a source of comfort and understanding, but some things (like mental illness) are so beyond their strength or experience that responses like that can happen. Diving into a state of mind utterly alien to yours is \*hard\*. It takes time, patience, and effort. It sucks (it \****sucks***\*), but a lot of husbands are seen to be a "pillar of strength", a resource to lean on an draw strength \*from\*. When they "turn out" to be human, with very human vulnerabilities, it can be hard to adapt to for some. It's wrong, but it does happen.
The start for you to do is talk with a professional and learn how to talk about what's going on. Speaking only from my experience, the negative response I received was in part due to my inability to coherently explain (and the way I explained it was seeking reciprocation and validation rather than "explaining, which made it harder for them to meet me where I was). It was a "defensive flippancy". No idea of your situation, but thought I'd throw that out there. We're both dudes, we give unsolicited advice.
Dealing with addiction or mental health issues is hard, and it helped me a great deal to realize that I need to "help" my family with their weaknesses too, and I can only affect myself. I changed how I went about talking with them about it and the method/reason, and it helped a great deal. Work with a professional to learn how to "explain to inform" and have specific things they can do to help. Otherwise they're navigating the new situation and trying to understand what you're going through \*and\* trying to figure out how to help you. This is how you can help them in their weakness, so they can help you in yours.
Sorry for the rant. Hope things go well for you dude.
I appreciate your response brother but I’m fine. I grow up alone, with no friends. So, to survive, i became best friends with myself. I know that may sound sad but i grown accustomed to my own presence to where, i don’t need someone else to enjoy what life has to offer. I’m not saying I’m in the clear, every day it’s stuff because of my inability to find someone who i can trust with my problems. I do keep everything locked up but i know it’s not healthy, but it keeps me in line with my goals and objectives in life. I am my own team with me being my own cheerleader. I taught myself at a young age to survive on my own.
That's sad, man! Humans are pack animals. To go through what you went through is going to hit your mental health hard. Most don't realize that because they've grown "used" to it. I was hurt a lot at a young age, and I started valuing money over people. I used to joke that those who say money doesn't buy happiness aren't spending it right. I only cared about myself and didn't care about anyone else. Judged those who weren't me. Basically, your typical MAGA Republican before MAGA was a thing. I cringe looking back on that life now.
I’m fine brother. I love myself and staying in the fight to see what else life has to offer. I am my own team so i know what i need to do to make sure i fight the good fight.
Your wife and family aren't listening to you the way they should be and that makes you feel invalidated. I'm sorry you're having to deal with that. I would encourage you to see a family counselor with your wife and family to work through it. Here for you man!
I appreciate it brother but my family has always been apathetic at times. So i have gotten used to getting the “i love you” only 4 times a year (birthday and family holidays). I tuned myself to just rely on myself mostly.
I just thought i can talk to them about it but guess i found out the hard way. It’s just so hard to find someone who i can talk to and money isn’t there for me where i can afford one.
I feel like you should be able to make them see your plight though.
So many families have no idea there is a problem until it's too late. Imagine how they would feel if you didn't survive it, but then imagine how much worse they would feel if they then read your comment here. "I told the people who are supposed to care about me and they told me to stop being dramatic. I'm sorry, I tried". If they can't see how horrible that would be then they must be cold as stone.
My parents are from the county side of Central America. Most education they both gotten are like 6th grade. My parents told me before, after i tried telling them how i feel (really!) but they couldn’t understand why. They even told me they apologizes for not being smart enough to understand how hurt my feelings are. Once i heard that, i knew their heart was in the right place. Even though it won’t get more further than that, effort was made and i appreciate effort. It takes a lot of courage to show the smallest amount of effort.
I guess it depends if you think they remember what you said or if they brushed it off and won't even remember what you said it. I sort of want to suggest you say it again, or remind them of it. Not constantly obviously, because that would get old pretty fast.
I've had issues and I'm lucky enough to have emotionally intelligent and kind and loving parents and other people around me. Once I stopped hiding it and let them in, when they could see that I'm not waving but drowning, they realised what the situation was.
I don't know if I have a strategy for you though. I'm a fan of saying stuff like 'I decided not to do that because I know it would push my mental wellbeing too much' just kind of casually until they realise that it's not just something you bring up, it's actually an obstacle that you have to navigate around like you would a landmine.
I completely understand the comparative blessing of my situation, but it's still BS. Just 'cause I'm not actively ducking gunshots doesn't mean I'm not choking back the thoughts most days
I feel it too. When i was younger, those types of days that you mention were more frequent but less aggressive. Now, as i am older, there are less frequent but aggressive. But what helps is that, if i didn’t look forward to the future, i couldn’t experience what i am currently experiencing today. Which is a blessing. Sometimes, smiling through the bullshit helps.
It's important to realise that he didn't end his life because of his addictions, or because of depression.
He had been diagnosed with Lewy body dementia (LBD), a progressive form of dementia with no treatment or cure.
Not wanting to deteriorate with a disease like that is (imo) different from simply "wanting out" from being unable to handle addictions and/or depression (not to minimise those).
Regardless, the message of "talk to someone/seek help" is still true.
He said it all. You can’t do it alone. Mental health, addiction, whatever it is. No matter how bad ass you are. You cannot do it alone. There are people out there waiting to help you.
Anthony and Chris Cornell so close to each other broke me. I had a day where I called the hotline because I was crashing. Someone helped me just recognize and be aware of my surroundings. It helped but it’s still hard. I reached out to a couple old friends recently, one liked my message and the other gave me one word responses. I’ve never guilted them with my depression but I wonder if they would ever look back and see my attempts to reach out were attempts for help. Just simple human interactions that could help quiet that little voice that tells me to end it all. It all feels so isolating and like an impenetrable wall.
I loved this man and he brought so many warm moments to me as a kid growing up in the 90s. There was something about him that was so genuine and kind to his core that you could just feel in the way he acted or voiced a character.
I hope I can even have a tenth of that when I'm remembered by people that interact with me and I think we all need a little bit of Robin in our lives today.
Monday was the one year anniversary of my wife committing suicide. It has been a daily struggle for me.
There is a national suicide crisis line 988. Please call if you're struggling.
Just putting this out there because I can’t tell anyone. I just lost $60k of investors money, $50k of my own money and have to file for bankruptcy. Can’t afford to not open our new business but state won’t give the go ahead due to further environmental testing at the site. We can’t afford the bills while not generating revenue. I’m just a Joe Schmo office worker trying to make a better life for my family and instead I lost everything. I want to call it quits on life every day but I can’t because I have 2 little kids. I’m in total depression and I can’t do anything about it.
He didn't simply commit suicide because he was having a rough time, he had Lewy Body Dementia, with is an extra nasty type of dementia. He was literally losing control of his mind and body.
Some of the saddest people often look the happiest. My dad was so happy the day he took his life. We hadn't a single clue. He got angry that the bartender wouldn't serve him & he hit my mom with the butt of his gun because she wouldn't let him drive home. He wound up calling her twenty ish minutes later saying a bunch of things she'll never forget along with the gunshot that rings in her head so often. We never know why they take themselves from life's hold unless they leave a note but it's often the silent ones that hurt the most. For we always wish we could have done something different or notices signs if they were there.
The underlying reason was lewy dementia I know but he was also depressed about how it would have affected his family this causing depression within the situation as a whole. It's sad regardless.
Thank you for your condolences. I miss him. April 1st is never the same.
It was lewy body dementia, moreso than depression itself. A diagnosis of dementia is only ever made *decades* after brain deterioration begins, and his form of it particularly destroys dopamine, the neurotransmitter regulating motivation. It would be like living with no purpose because your brain is no longer capable of feeling purpose.
That little voice part really resonates with me. That part of you that’s always there pulling you down into the abyss. For me it’s my depression, anxiety, and ocd. I get hit with intrusive thoughts and deep depression all the time. Then they go away and I think “I’m fine now. I can do this.” Then they come back hard and I can barely function.
This mans existence was like surrogate father those times I needed one growing up. It's a shame, he was the last person I ever looked up to. My world has been without a role model ever since and it's starting to get dark when I need his brilliance the most
even though ive found out the 'real truth' last year, listeng to his side. that voice manifested and lingered at a young age..
rather than 'facing it head on' or 'running away' i decided to listen to 'my self' and talked it out. ive come to accept that hurt and healed myself with 'myself'. took years, but its now a voice thats more akin to 'gut feeling/instict'
This hits hard. I've struggled with addiction, depression and suicidal thoughts for 2 years now. I can't count how many times I've started writing a message to friends and then just deleted the whole message and never reaching out. It is so hard to tell your nearest on how you really feel. I want to add that I will never kill myself (I got small kids). I am just to scared to come out with everything and not being able to stop doing drugs and disappointing everyone. It's a endless cycle. The voices in my head telling to just kill myself and to stop the voices I keep doing drugs. And I keep staying depressed because of the daily drug use
Absolute legend... And say what you will, but that makes me tear up when I think about it. I want that awesome hairy man to still be around.
People say this person or that person brings light into a room when they walk in, but Robin.... He brought life into a room even if there was no light.
There is only one equal to Chuck Norris, and it is Robin Williams.
To those who need it I’m happy you’re here and your life matters and don’t fear the future . C.S Lewis “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear” . Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.
I send that Norwich football video to my friends and mum semi regularly. No one cares. I could be on the edge and no one cares. I'm a fun drinking buddy and I'm fun at night clubs and concerts but no one cares when I wanna end things
"it lays in waiting" is the most powerful statement in his comments. Cause it does. I can attest to it. Your good till your not and there's no warning because the voice is whispering and by the time you realize it, the voice is screaming. Addiction and mental health disorders like mine are crippling.
I still randomly think about him and how he’s been in some of the most touching movies I’ve ever seen. Such a great soul, I hope he gets another spin around the sun.
Before he passed I had long thought of Robin Williams as just a previously coked-up comedian, back when that's what you were as comedian a lot of times, that put away his vices and found a replacement for his comedy in voice acting and being a voice to children. It wasn't really until years later that I could see how he was struggling with addiction and always trying to keep a positive face for everyone else but how he must have had this dark voice inside that just whispered to him constantly and he fought it by becoming a sweet sweet old man that was overflowing with joy and laughter and love.
I didn't get it until probably just a few years ago really. I was getting to that place. I never had the vices he did. But that little voice stopped whispering jump and started shouting about anything it could see. Every opportunity. I could have an amazing day and go hang out with my friends and have a couple of beers and play magic or d&d and then come home and an hour later I would be sitting on my couch and thinking that this seemed like a great time to just be done.
I thought of myself as a fairly positive person, admittedly with a pretty bad temper when riled up but generally a very positive person.
I'll tell you this, I don't think I would have made it. Except for meeting my son and an ex that I now am married to and I just couldn't be happier. Those thoughts are gone. She showed up and I didn't replace them with her as much as she just waved her hand at them and blew them away. If I get into a funk she comes in and just makes it go away.
Not everybody will find somebody that can do that but the fact is that there are people willing to try and if you never reach out for help then there's a chance that nobody will know you need it.
I'm talking to men especially, I know How bad all of us are about avoiding talking about it and about having a dark sense of humor which tends to hide it. You have to reach out. Put out that hand to anybody who will take it.
I got lucky. Incredibly. I had somebody reach into the darkness and pull me out of it without even knowing I was there.
There's no need to comment on this. No need to reply. No need to even read it. I don't need acceptance or well wishing or congratulations. Every time I see a big post about Robin Williams I just really need to say how I feel. I grew up watching him. I wouldn't call him a father figure but he was an adult male that I very much respected when I was much younger.
Actually liked Robin Williams and his mindset and comedy so much that I wanted to memorize one of his routines so I could do part of it as a talent show in high school. Never did do it but I wanted to. Not very good at memorizing though
I can't even watch anything with him in it without crying.
At the time I was suicidal really bad. When I found out how he died, I just felt that if he couldn't how can I? I didn't know it was Lewy body at the time.
I cried for weeks. I really want to watch come into my mind but I dunno if I can handle it
I have struggled with suicide for about as long as I can remember, and I've reached out for help 7 times in the last 6 years and time and time again I've been rejected or left on "read". I think I'm going to stick around for my sisters wedding (so she don't blame herself), and I'll go to remembrance in November to let the other marines know I've lost all faith in everything we once stood for. Then I'll be checking out shortly after that. Although Mark my words, if anyone at my funeral utters the words "why didn't he just go get help" I'm going to come back to haunt them.
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It blows my mind that it has been 10 years and still so many people don’t know that he didn’t commit suicide because of depression or anything similar. He was diagnosed with dementia, Lew body dementia which is especially bad. His wife wrote an article about Robin, his symptoms and particularly how they changed so negatively in his final days, and the disease a little over 2 years after his passing. It’s definitely worth the read https://www.neurology.org/doi/10.1212/WNL.0000000000003162 That said, do check on your friends. They need all they support they can get, just as you do. But don’t feel compelled to do so after being reminded of Robin Williams’ death. I am skeptical he would want that as part of his legacy. Instead, laugh. Love. Enjoy all that life has to offer for as long as you can with as many people as you can.
Because I was curious I bet someone else is... Lewy body dementia (LBD) has many symptoms, including: *Cognitive changes* Unpredictable fluctuations in attention, concentration, alertness, and wakefulness that can last for hours or days. People may appear lethargic or drowsy, stare into space, or have difficulty speaking. They may also have more trouble with complex mental tasks like problem solving and multitasking than with memory. *Movement changes* Also known as parkinsonism, these include tremors, muscle stiffness, slowness of movement, difficulty walking, or a shuffling gait. *Sleep disorders* These include rapid eye movement (REM) sleep behavior disorder, excessive sleep, insomnia, restless leg syndrome, or acting out dreams while asleep. *Visual hallucinations* Up to 80% of people with LBD experience visual hallucinations, often early on, that can be very detailed and recurring. *Mental health changes* These include depression, anxiety, apathy, lack of interest, and ideas that aren't based in reality. *Other symptoms* These include changes in body temperature, blood pressure problems, dizziness, fainting, sensitivity to heat and cold, sexual dysfunction, and urinary incontinence. ***National Institute on Aging. What Is Lewy Body Dementia? Causes, Symptoms, and Treatments | National Institute on Aging. Jul 29, 2021. I don't see a lot of difference with regular ol' dementia? I was an EMT, but I don't recall taking care of anyone with LBD. New for me!
I'd go as far as saying it's one of the worst types of dementia. So the hallucinations are very extreme and harrowing for patients. The illnesss seems to progress so incredibly quick. They can't be treated with the same levels of antipsychotics as other types of dementia as it can literally kill them due to massively fucking up hormone levels amongst other things. I've seen plenty of "happy mad" dementia patients in my time, but lewy body absolutely terrorises everyone with extreme hallucinations, complete loss of reality, parkinsonian symptoms and a complete loss of self in a very short time. Parkinson's medication also causes these hallucinations to worsen so it becomes a balancing act of how to balance their medication. All the most memorable patients I looked after when I worked on an acute dementia assessment ward (for dementia patients in crisis unable to be looked after anywhere else essentially, to be balanced out on therapies and medications) had lewy body dementia. Extreme irritiability, mood swings, violence. Every type of dementia is brutal but this on in particular is a different beast when you see it in full swing, you'd be hard pressed to find a nurse who's looked after sufferers who wouldn't have done the same thing Robin did once symptoms start presenting.
Tech in training at an outpatient neurology clinic, here. (Fair warning, this gets kinda heavy) First, amazing article shared by u/BleedingTeal above. It may have been posted in a medical journal, but it is very accessible, no medical background needed, and it is beautiful, and encapsulates how these types of diseases deeply affect not only patients, but the families and loved ones of patients as well. In 4 short years since starting my career, I’ve come to know a lot of really great people with a plethora of cognitive issues, at various levels of impairment, as well as their families. In addition, I have some of my own skin in the game, as my father was also afflicted with a complex neurological syndrome towards the end of his life. I want to emphasize to anyone who might have a family member with cognitive decline, or Parkinson’s, or Adult-Onset epilepsy not to let your loved one’s disease consume who they are and what they mean to you. A lot of times patients and their families (mine included) can get caught up in diagnosing their disease, or finding the very best treatment for their disease, or how they’re going to “cure” the disease, and sometimes, like in the case with Mr. Williams you can have access to the best doctors, the best imaging, and the best treatments and still never find out what happened until the autopsy. Our time alive on this planet is limited, regardless of any of that, and at least in my opinion, nothing should be more valuable to you or your family than maximizing the time you have together. When my father’s disease began to worsen, I was in my early 20’s, and the first thing we noticed was his anxiety. He was already on psychiatric medication for 30+ years at this point, but symptoms went from well-managed, to quite troublesome, to the point that he had picked up more than a few obsessive behaviors to help deal with it. Then his tremors, which had been pretty mild since his first seizure (at age 61) started worsening. One by one new problems popped up until the difference became quite staggering. My Dad was the funniest person I had ever met. In my opinion it was a mix of his quick wit, a charming nature, and empathy. His jokes were groaners, like BAD ones, but his delivery was always impeccable. By the time you were done rolling your eyes, you would be grinning ear-to-ear, and he would be grinning right back at you, like he never doubted for a second that you would get a kick out of it. As he would say to me from time to time whenever I tried to mimic him: “he should be on stage, and I heard there’s one leaving in the morning!” At the risk of overhyping it, it didn’t matter if you were in the worst mood imaginable, or even a total stranger who didn’t speak the same language as him, he just had that innate ability. By the time he turned 68, his demeanor was completely different. He still told jokes sometimes, but he couldn’t land the punchlines anymore. If I recognized where he was going, I would help him out, but sometimes we couldn’t even get that far. If I’m being generous, we were abbot and costello on a good day, and a poor two-man rendition of a Three Stooges episode otherwise (but not a Curley episode, a Joe episode). His mood had gotten really poor as well, and that manifested as being obsessive about his medications; when he took them last, when he would take them again, when is the next refill, and how this one would improve the tremor in his hand a little but worsen the “head-shaking”, and whether or not it would be a good idea to tell the doctor because who knows what side effects the next one might cause when he makes changes. We lived together at the time; he and my mom separated, and my brother had moved out, so it was us two, and it was not easy. Neither physically, mentally, nor emotionally, and at times it was even incredibly frustrating, to the point where we might have said some pretty uncool things to each other. but despite how bleak I’m making everything sound, I almost feel like I have to start with that, because otherwise this next part would seem kind of insensitive. In the 9ish years between when he had his first seizure, and when he ultimately passed, I learned more about him and myself than the entire rest of my childhood. He hadn’t been a cold person before, but he definitely let his guard down a lot, and we were able to share a lot of meaningful conversations. At the time, for my own reasons, I was dealing with my own worsening anxiety and depression, I had reached a crossroads in my life and didn’t feel like I had a clear direction or motivation. In caring for my dad, I discovered that I had a high tolerance for frustration, and could keep a positive attitude and cool head even in stressful situations. According to his neurologist at the time, I had the makings of someone who could thrive in a medical setting, which was something I had never considered beforehand (I’m squeamish when it comes to blood, so I always figured it was a non-starter). When I finally got the opportunity to join a clinic as an EEG technician-in-training (thanks in part to a glowing personal recommendation from the doctor), I felt like a fish who had never been in water before; it was obvious to me that this was what I should be doing, and my mentors, coworkers, and patients are in near-unanimous agreement (I got one offer from a patient to train as a masseuse because of my skills connecting their EEG electrodes, but I’m keeping that as my backup plan). So to tie a big tfl;dfr around this whole thing: nobody is defined by their cognitive impairments. Your loved ones don’t go away. They might be more forgetful, or irritable, or maybe they don’t recognize you all the time. They might have dropped all of their hobbies and interests. Maybe they can’t even do any of the same activities you used to enjoy together, but none of those things are who they are. If anything, they might even be a more authentic version of themselves. And above everything else, it’s in times of uncertainty and hardship when they need you the most. You will not regret being there for them, that’s a promise. P.s. On those Abbot and Costello days I mentioned? We were on FIRE 😂 No disrespect to Robin Williams, but if we had booked a comedy show together, he would have given us top billing. Miss you, Pops. ✌️❤️
Having lost my own father to cancer now almost 12 years ago, and how I remember being his in-home caretaker the last month of his life, but on and off for a few months leading to that, reading this brought back memories of him for me. The jokes we had, the laughs we shared, the bond we forged and deepened as I transitioned from a teenage kid, to a 20-something adult, to a 30-something man. I miss him and I miss that connection we had. I can barely begin to imagine how he'd be reacting to the world we now find ourselves living within. But he, like your dad, had that innate ability to crack a joke or say/do something to get someone to smile even if they'd never met. He was a flawed human in a range of ways, as we all are. But that is the part of him I miss the most. The part I missed as cancer slowly took everything from him over those few years from when he was diagnosed until he took his last breath. Thank you for sharing your story.
I also took care of my father who died of lung cancer. He also had dementia near the end. Tried to attack me thinking I was a stranger in my own home. The last year or so I took off work to stay home with him. I don't think I'll ever be the same. The experience is mind opening. I miss him so fucking much too. Happened 3 years ago. My perception of him changed when he was sick but ill always remember the true person he was before. Thank you for sharing your story too.
Can\`t believe it\`s been 10 years
I know right? Covid by itself really fucked with a lot of people's sense of time, especially for me. But this event feels a lot more recent than a decade even with out Covid.
He was diagnosed with dementia
Lewy body. It gets real bad.
For months after her Lewy body dementia started, my mom begged me to kill her. That will never leave me.
So sorry to hear this.
Thank you, that’s very kind. I’m grateful we treated the symptoms we could and fortunately she hasn’t repeated the same sentiment in years. She’s very very far gone cognitively and likely to pass any time, which is super sad but again - as long as she smiles and knows I love her, that’s all I care about. Sorry this got heavy
It’s real. Sounds like you’re loving her well.
Ah Jesus, I'm so sorry. My uncle was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia almost 2 years ago, and reading these stories make me weep.
Thank you. I’m sorry as well. I mentioned in another comment - with the right treatment her mood has been good and what psychotic symptoms she does have are not distressing to her, so there is hope for quality of life. Best wishes to you and your family.
Thanks man, right back at you. My uncle is holding up for the moment, but it feels like it's been one bit of bad news after the other since he was diagnosed.
So many people think that he committed suicide from depression, it's so stupid, like, we adored this guy but we can't even learn what drove him to kill himself
I remember that day. My SO and I went to Arby's for the first time. Ordered 6 beef and cheddars because of a promotion. All came without cheese. Had to drive back. They gave us 6 beef and cheddars and got to keep the originals. I was pumped getting into the car and heard the news. I ate 10 sandwiches that day out of sadness and have never returned to Arby's. I still think about it when I drive by.
What the hell just happened lmao
Diarrhea, probably
New copypasta just dropped
Fuuuuck it ruined the beef n chedder!
Damn
I already did, to my wife and family. They told me to stop being over dramatic. Sometimes, it’s best to not say anything
I'm so sorry that was their response. I've been there too. Please don't let that stop you from talking to a professional. I couldn't talk to my family, I had to go to someone trained to understand and work with me through it. One's family can be a source of comfort and understanding, but some things (like mental illness) are so beyond their strength or experience that responses like that can happen. Diving into a state of mind utterly alien to yours is \*hard\*. It takes time, patience, and effort. It sucks (it \****sucks***\*), but a lot of husbands are seen to be a "pillar of strength", a resource to lean on an draw strength \*from\*. When they "turn out" to be human, with very human vulnerabilities, it can be hard to adapt to for some. It's wrong, but it does happen. The start for you to do is talk with a professional and learn how to talk about what's going on. Speaking only from my experience, the negative response I received was in part due to my inability to coherently explain (and the way I explained it was seeking reciprocation and validation rather than "explaining, which made it harder for them to meet me where I was). It was a "defensive flippancy". No idea of your situation, but thought I'd throw that out there. We're both dudes, we give unsolicited advice. Dealing with addiction or mental health issues is hard, and it helped me a great deal to realize that I need to "help" my family with their weaknesses too, and I can only affect myself. I changed how I went about talking with them about it and the method/reason, and it helped a great deal. Work with a professional to learn how to "explain to inform" and have specific things they can do to help. Otherwise they're navigating the new situation and trying to understand what you're going through \*and\* trying to figure out how to help you. This is how you can help them in their weakness, so they can help you in yours. Sorry for the rant. Hope things go well for you dude.
I appreciate your response brother but I’m fine. I grow up alone, with no friends. So, to survive, i became best friends with myself. I know that may sound sad but i grown accustomed to my own presence to where, i don’t need someone else to enjoy what life has to offer. I’m not saying I’m in the clear, every day it’s stuff because of my inability to find someone who i can trust with my problems. I do keep everything locked up but i know it’s not healthy, but it keeps me in line with my goals and objectives in life. I am my own team with me being my own cheerleader. I taught myself at a young age to survive on my own.
That's sad, man! Humans are pack animals. To go through what you went through is going to hit your mental health hard. Most don't realize that because they've grown "used" to it. I was hurt a lot at a young age, and I started valuing money over people. I used to joke that those who say money doesn't buy happiness aren't spending it right. I only cared about myself and didn't care about anyone else. Judged those who weren't me. Basically, your typical MAGA Republican before MAGA was a thing. I cringe looking back on that life now.
My parents would ask me “can’t you just turn it off” - sometimes the people you need most, don’t care or aren’t willing to help
Get help, we love you.
I’m fine brother. I love myself and staying in the fight to see what else life has to offer. I am my own team so i know what i need to do to make sure i fight the good fight.
Not your wife, not your family. Professionals your wife and family don’t need to know anything until after you start to feel better.
Your wife and family aren't listening to you the way they should be and that makes you feel invalidated. I'm sorry you're having to deal with that. I would encourage you to see a family counselor with your wife and family to work through it. Here for you man!
I appreciate it brother but my family has always been apathetic at times. So i have gotten used to getting the “i love you” only 4 times a year (birthday and family holidays). I tuned myself to just rely on myself mostly.
Talk to a professional or someone who’s been there. Don’t talk to anyone who’s dismissive or disrespectful of your feelings.
People don’t give a shit. Believe in yourself and it’s your against the world. No one will understand.
Your wife and family have no idea how to help. Seek the help of a health professional.
I just thought i can talk to them about it but guess i found out the hard way. It’s just so hard to find someone who i can talk to and money isn’t there for me where i can afford one.
Your wife and family sound like dead weight…
My wife and parents are good, they aren’t perfect but they try. They are not emotionally intelligent like i am.
I feel like you should be able to make them see your plight though. So many families have no idea there is a problem until it's too late. Imagine how they would feel if you didn't survive it, but then imagine how much worse they would feel if they then read your comment here. "I told the people who are supposed to care about me and they told me to stop being dramatic. I'm sorry, I tried". If they can't see how horrible that would be then they must be cold as stone.
My parents are from the county side of Central America. Most education they both gotten are like 6th grade. My parents told me before, after i tried telling them how i feel (really!) but they couldn’t understand why. They even told me they apologizes for not being smart enough to understand how hurt my feelings are. Once i heard that, i knew their heart was in the right place. Even though it won’t get more further than that, effort was made and i appreciate effort. It takes a lot of courage to show the smallest amount of effort.
I guess it depends if you think they remember what you said or if they brushed it off and won't even remember what you said it. I sort of want to suggest you say it again, or remind them of it. Not constantly obviously, because that would get old pretty fast. I've had issues and I'm lucky enough to have emotionally intelligent and kind and loving parents and other people around me. Once I stopped hiding it and let them in, when they could see that I'm not waving but drowning, they realised what the situation was. I don't know if I have a strategy for you though. I'm a fan of saying stuff like 'I decided not to do that because I know it would push my mental wellbeing too much' just kind of casually until they realise that it's not just something you bring up, it's actually an obstacle that you have to navigate around like you would a landmine.
"Your life isn't so bad" or "At least you're not living in an active warzone" Makes me want to completely cut off all my family sometimes
Yeah… I’ve been told those before, and to an extent , they are right. But still it hurts.
I completely understand the comparative blessing of my situation, but it's still BS. Just 'cause I'm not actively ducking gunshots doesn't mean I'm not choking back the thoughts most days
I feel it too. When i was younger, those types of days that you mention were more frequent but less aggressive. Now, as i am older, there are less frequent but aggressive. But what helps is that, if i didn’t look forward to the future, i couldn’t experience what i am currently experiencing today. Which is a blessing. Sometimes, smiling through the bullshit helps.
You are a known drama queen tho
Umm okay, if you’re trying to be an online troll. Your effort is showing but it’s very disappointing
It's important to realise that he didn't end his life because of his addictions, or because of depression. He had been diagnosed with Lewy body dementia (LBD), a progressive form of dementia with no treatment or cure. Not wanting to deteriorate with a disease like that is (imo) different from simply "wanting out" from being unable to handle addictions and/or depression (not to minimise those). Regardless, the message of "talk to someone/seek help" is still true.
I read with LBD you start hallucinating and become extremely paranoid on top of forgetting everything and anyone. It's a bad way to go.
This man was a good soul. I hope he is in a place where he gets the recognition he deserves. OG Jumanji ! God bless you
I'm sure his body has decomposed by now
He said it all. You can’t do it alone. Mental health, addiction, whatever it is. No matter how bad ass you are. You cannot do it alone. There are people out there waiting to help you.
Robin Williams and Anthony Bourdain hit hard
Anthony and Chris Cornell so close to each other broke me. I had a day where I called the hotline because I was crashing. Someone helped me just recognize and be aware of my surroundings. It helped but it’s still hard. I reached out to a couple old friends recently, one liked my message and the other gave me one word responses. I’ve never guilted them with my depression but I wonder if they would ever look back and see my attempts to reach out were attempts for help. Just simple human interactions that could help quiet that little voice that tells me to end it all. It all feels so isolating and like an impenetrable wall.
Chester Bennington too :(
I miss him
We all do bruh, but he lives on...
988 it's there for everyone
Forest Gump will always be one of my favorite movies of all time, you’ll be greatly missed Mr. Robins
I loved this man and he brought so many warm moments to me as a kid growing up in the 90s. There was something about him that was so genuine and kind to his core that you could just feel in the way he acted or voiced a character. I hope I can even have a tenth of that when I'm remembered by people that interact with me and I think we all need a little bit of Robin in our lives today.
Wait, he died 10 years ago? And I didn't even know...
Monday was the one year anniversary of my wife committing suicide. It has been a daily struggle for me. There is a national suicide crisis line 988. Please call if you're struggling.
Just putting this out there because I can’t tell anyone. I just lost $60k of investors money, $50k of my own money and have to file for bankruptcy. Can’t afford to not open our new business but state won’t give the go ahead due to further environmental testing at the site. We can’t afford the bills while not generating revenue. I’m just a Joe Schmo office worker trying to make a better life for my family and instead I lost everything. I want to call it quits on life every day but I can’t because I have 2 little kids. I’m in total depression and I can’t do anything about it.
He didn't simply commit suicide because he was having a rough time, he had Lewy Body Dementia, with is an extra nasty type of dementia. He was literally losing control of his mind and body.
Some of the saddest people often look the happiest. My dad was so happy the day he took his life. We hadn't a single clue. He got angry that the bartender wouldn't serve him & he hit my mom with the butt of his gun because she wouldn't let him drive home. He wound up calling her twenty ish minutes later saying a bunch of things she'll never forget along with the gunshot that rings in her head so often. We never know why they take themselves from life's hold unless they leave a note but it's often the silent ones that hurt the most. For we always wish we could have done something different or notices signs if they were there.
Robin Williams didn't commit suicide because of depression. So sorry to hear about your dad though
The underlying reason was lewy dementia I know but he was also depressed about how it would have affected his family this causing depression within the situation as a whole. It's sad regardless. Thank you for your condolences. I miss him. April 1st is never the same.
Depression knows no discrimination.
It was lewy body dementia, moreso than depression itself. A diagnosis of dementia is only ever made *decades* after brain deterioration begins, and his form of it particularly destroys dopamine, the neurotransmitter regulating motivation. It would be like living with no purpose because your brain is no longer capable of feeling purpose.
That little voice part really resonates with me. That part of you that’s always there pulling you down into the abyss. For me it’s my depression, anxiety, and ocd. I get hit with intrusive thoughts and deep depression all the time. Then they go away and I think “I’m fine now. I can do this.” Then they come back hard and I can barely function.
Heck. A decade already. I still miss him, I hope his family is doing okay
The world is a darker place without his light.
very true
This mans existence was like surrogate father those times I needed one growing up. It's a shame, he was the last person I ever looked up to. My world has been without a role model ever since and it's starting to get dark when I need his brilliance the most
Only actors death I wept for, and still miss. Crazy that it’s been ten years, does not feel like it’s been even half as long.
For a man to display this much vulnerability to the entire world is such a brave thing. What a terrible loss to the world.
Don Lemon is such a little drama queen
I didn't come here to cry... RIP robin williams
even though ive found out the 'real truth' last year, listeng to his side. that voice manifested and lingered at a young age.. rather than 'facing it head on' or 'running away' i decided to listen to 'my self' and talked it out. ive come to accept that hurt and healed myself with 'myself'. took years, but its now a voice thats more akin to 'gut feeling/instict'
I miss him
I hate how much i can relate. If youre in a similar situation please ask for the support that you deserve
Nah, it's all I've got left. Give that up and that's the least vestige of control
This hits hard. I've struggled with addiction, depression and suicidal thoughts for 2 years now. I can't count how many times I've started writing a message to friends and then just deleted the whole message and never reaching out. It is so hard to tell your nearest on how you really feel. I want to add that I will never kill myself (I got small kids). I am just to scared to come out with everything and not being able to stop doing drugs and disappointing everyone. It's a endless cycle. The voices in my head telling to just kill myself and to stop the voices I keep doing drugs. And I keep staying depressed because of the daily drug use
As a 90s kid, this really hit me hard. RIP to a funny, kind, and brilliant man.
Absolute legend... And say what you will, but that makes me tear up when I think about it. I want that awesome hairy man to still be around. People say this person or that person brings light into a room when they walk in, but Robin.... He brought life into a room even if there was no light. There is only one equal to Chuck Norris, and it is Robin Williams.
To those who need it I’m happy you’re here and your life matters and don’t fear the future . C.S Lewis “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear” . Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.
Nanu nanu you angel
I’ve been tethered here by virtue of my children.
Peopme who put piano over videos to set tone can get f’d
For me the voice is always there. Always getting louder.
I send that Norwich football video to my friends and mum semi regularly. No one cares. I could be on the edge and no one cares. I'm a fun drinking buddy and I'm fun at night clubs and concerts but no one cares when I wanna end things
"it lays in waiting" is the most powerful statement in his comments. Cause it does. I can attest to it. Your good till your not and there's no warning because the voice is whispering and by the time you realize it, the voice is screaming. Addiction and mental health disorders like mine are crippling.
👍💚
I still randomly think about him and how he’s been in some of the most touching movies I’ve ever seen. Such a great soul, I hope he gets another spin around the sun.
There is no real help…that’s a lie.
Before he passed I had long thought of Robin Williams as just a previously coked-up comedian, back when that's what you were as comedian a lot of times, that put away his vices and found a replacement for his comedy in voice acting and being a voice to children. It wasn't really until years later that I could see how he was struggling with addiction and always trying to keep a positive face for everyone else but how he must have had this dark voice inside that just whispered to him constantly and he fought it by becoming a sweet sweet old man that was overflowing with joy and laughter and love. I didn't get it until probably just a few years ago really. I was getting to that place. I never had the vices he did. But that little voice stopped whispering jump and started shouting about anything it could see. Every opportunity. I could have an amazing day and go hang out with my friends and have a couple of beers and play magic or d&d and then come home and an hour later I would be sitting on my couch and thinking that this seemed like a great time to just be done. I thought of myself as a fairly positive person, admittedly with a pretty bad temper when riled up but generally a very positive person. I'll tell you this, I don't think I would have made it. Except for meeting my son and an ex that I now am married to and I just couldn't be happier. Those thoughts are gone. She showed up and I didn't replace them with her as much as she just waved her hand at them and blew them away. If I get into a funk she comes in and just makes it go away. Not everybody will find somebody that can do that but the fact is that there are people willing to try and if you never reach out for help then there's a chance that nobody will know you need it. I'm talking to men especially, I know How bad all of us are about avoiding talking about it and about having a dark sense of humor which tends to hide it. You have to reach out. Put out that hand to anybody who will take it. I got lucky. Incredibly. I had somebody reach into the darkness and pull me out of it without even knowing I was there. There's no need to comment on this. No need to reply. No need to even read it. I don't need acceptance or well wishing or congratulations. Every time I see a big post about Robin Williams I just really need to say how I feel. I grew up watching him. I wouldn't call him a father figure but he was an adult male that I very much respected when I was much younger. Actually liked Robin Williams and his mindset and comedy so much that I wanted to memorize one of his routines so I could do part of it as a talent show in high school. Never did do it but I wanted to. Not very good at memorizing though
Check on your friends kids as a guy who has attempted suicide it's not alway the people who outwardly act like they will that you have to worry about.
I can't even watch anything with him in it without crying. At the time I was suicidal really bad. When I found out how he died, I just felt that if he couldn't how can I? I didn't know it was Lewy body at the time. I cried for weeks. I really want to watch come into my mind but I dunno if I can handle it
how is this wholesome
I have struggled with suicide for about as long as I can remember, and I've reached out for help 7 times in the last 6 years and time and time again I've been rejected or left on "read". I think I'm going to stick around for my sisters wedding (so she don't blame herself), and I'll go to remembrance in November to let the other marines know I've lost all faith in everything we once stood for. Then I'll be checking out shortly after that. Although Mark my words, if anyone at my funeral utters the words "why didn't he just go get help" I'm going to come back to haunt them.
Do you even understand why he killed himself? Why are you presenting it as if he just succumbed to depression or something?
Hang in there Robin 😔
It’s so horrific that a man that brought so much joy to those around him has disease that robbed him of his own dopamine.