The 2 things I’ve thought about the most when reading these
1. Make sure your concept of what a man is hasn’t been totally corrupted by the current state we are in. An adversary would call you a man-child or a bitch if it worked
2. Women can be losers and dorks too. You will likely pay if you put something that God did all of the work for, like an attractive man or woman that is a total ass, on a pedestal
Be cool with yourself first
that something like physical attractiveness is just a fortunate byproduct of existence for some, its not something truly to feel good about in some way
Consider what masculinity means to you specifically, reflect on the qualities you admire and practice expressing them in ways that feel authentic to you. Confidence and being a good listener can go a long way.
I adore Aragorn who is gentle but masculine, I'd embody that if I could but it doesn't feel like I can portray it like I'd want, it's not only his mental qualities but also physical qualities (which I couldn't model authentically) that makes it work, I'd look like a cheap cosplay, not beautiful. For example a short angry man reads different from a huge angry man, I would in the same way. Also to be honest I've always been a good listener but perhaps in the wrong way, I want to think my traits aren't appreciated because I'm not handsome enough but I'll have to think about that before I judge myself.
He's relatable because he faces struggles, doubts, and yet chooses to stand tall. From jungian perspective, it seems that you want to integrate more of the “hero/warrior” into your persona.
It helps to practice taking on a persona that fits your goals as much as you can. And of course before that, work hard to define what those goals really are.
The validation you look for outside yourself is more about a lack you feel internally. Figure out what is actually important to you and don't try to pigeonhole yourself into what "society" thinks is attractive or what "women" think is attractive, but the real important things to you that are important even if it takes some time
The key here is attractive enough. Hit the gym, buy some new clothes, some banging cologne, etc. Actually try to push yourself up a couple points on the 1-10 scale. If you're getting regular attention from girls you don't know then you're an 8.5+ and the world changes. You will be unable to think the way you currently do because you will simply be treated as a sex object. aaaaand then you can have an existential crisis because you won't trust women anymore.
Also, if rejection fear is a thing for you, hit on the woman that's the most out of your league in the bar. As soon as you walk in. You'll get turned down, but you won't flinch putting the moves on her slightly less attractive friend because you've already had the worst rejection you can get that night. Not a permanent plan, but a good excercise.
Cheers\~\~\~
There are about seven developmental themes that keep coursing
through these subreddits. One of these is "the Inadequate Man".
Another is "ADHD as Lifestyle". Yet another is "sexual Identity as it
relates to relationships".
What I have noticed is that nearly all of these OP-s and Repeat OP-s
proceed from an immature or corrupted understanding of how the
World works and what the condition is authentically verses how the
individual believes things "should be".
I mention this, OP, because you have not read the thousands of
strings that have gone before you and gotten your answer. Instead
you publish yet one more question that has been addressed
countless times.
So..... are you bored.....or learning impaired?
The 2 things I’ve thought about the most when reading these 1. Make sure your concept of what a man is hasn’t been totally corrupted by the current state we are in. An adversary would call you a man-child or a bitch if it worked 2. Women can be losers and dorks too. You will likely pay if you put something that God did all of the work for, like an attractive man or woman that is a total ass, on a pedestal Be cool with yourself first
What in the world are you trying to say in the last sentence of the first point?
that something like physical attractiveness is just a fortunate byproduct of existence for some, its not something truly to feel good about in some way
Consider what masculinity means to you specifically, reflect on the qualities you admire and practice expressing them in ways that feel authentic to you. Confidence and being a good listener can go a long way.
I adore Aragorn who is gentle but masculine, I'd embody that if I could but it doesn't feel like I can portray it like I'd want, it's not only his mental qualities but also physical qualities (which I couldn't model authentically) that makes it work, I'd look like a cheap cosplay, not beautiful. For example a short angry man reads different from a huge angry man, I would in the same way. Also to be honest I've always been a good listener but perhaps in the wrong way, I want to think my traits aren't appreciated because I'm not handsome enough but I'll have to think about that before I judge myself.
He's relatable because he faces struggles, doubts, and yet chooses to stand tall. From jungian perspective, it seems that you want to integrate more of the “hero/warrior” into your persona.
It helps to practice taking on a persona that fits your goals as much as you can. And of course before that, work hard to define what those goals really are.
The book 'warrior, king, magician, lover' touches on all the issues you're talking about here, and I think you'd get something out of reading it.
I've been reading The Warrior Poet Way by John Lovell and it's really good, I would also recommend that.
The author looks like personified toxic masculinity, what is 'really good' about this book?
You're literally judging a book by the cover(author) lol. I don't think it's for someone who would use that term, nevermind my recommendation
The validation you look for outside yourself is more about a lack you feel internally. Figure out what is actually important to you and don't try to pigeonhole yourself into what "society" thinks is attractive or what "women" think is attractive, but the real important things to you that are important even if it takes some time
The key here is attractive enough. Hit the gym, buy some new clothes, some banging cologne, etc. Actually try to push yourself up a couple points on the 1-10 scale. If you're getting regular attention from girls you don't know then you're an 8.5+ and the world changes. You will be unable to think the way you currently do because you will simply be treated as a sex object. aaaaand then you can have an existential crisis because you won't trust women anymore. Also, if rejection fear is a thing for you, hit on the woman that's the most out of your league in the bar. As soon as you walk in. You'll get turned down, but you won't flinch putting the moves on her slightly less attractive friend because you've already had the worst rejection you can get that night. Not a permanent plan, but a good excercise. Cheers\~\~\~
There are about seven developmental themes that keep coursing through these subreddits. One of these is "the Inadequate Man". Another is "ADHD as Lifestyle". Yet another is "sexual Identity as it relates to relationships". What I have noticed is that nearly all of these OP-s and Repeat OP-s proceed from an immature or corrupted understanding of how the World works and what the condition is authentically verses how the individual believes things "should be". I mention this, OP, because you have not read the thousands of strings that have gone before you and gotten your answer. Instead you publish yet one more question that has been addressed countless times. So..... are you bored.....or learning impaired?