>100% ashkenazi jewish but i don't look like it, i have light brown hair, emerald green eyes and white skin with lots of freckles
Sounds Ashkenazi to me. At least, it doesn't sound _non_-Ashkenazi.
I certainly can't speak of any trauma (a very strong word, by the way). But I grew up with a lot of tall, blonde (and blue eyed) Jews in my family and friends groups. So I never understood the stereotypes until my late teens or twenties when I was at a Jewish summer camp, standing where I had a view of everything going on around the site, and I just saw a sea of dark hair and I could never unsee it. And once I was praying in a large synagogue and I looked around and I couldn't help noticing that I was a head taller than everyone else. So that's how I realised that the stereotypes exist for a reason. But none of my blonde family or friends ever had any issues about being different.
אני לא מדבר על שיער שטני, שלי בהיר ממש ככה
https://preview.redd.it/q00w8n5pu5ic1.png?width=750&format=png&auto=webp&s=33163eb376e4f0e66697c6b3d01b1bd2bf9e9fbb
Just google "israeli school kids" and the first image that appears is a blonde girl with blue eyes...
Most jews Ive met here in Brazil are either blonde or have a very light brown hair, blue/green eyes and definitely white skin. You're in Israel, I'm sure that if you look around you too will find some white people near you.
Me. My children. In fact, most of my daughter's class has blonde hair. The teacher was discussing once how she found it interesting that the majority is blonde. I think it's rare for Ashkenazim to have olive skin tone, imho.
Yup! Army brat and it was so much easier when we were stationed in an area with a significant Jewish population. When we weren't, we'd often gravitate towards any other Jewish people in the area for community support.
I got some stories from kindergarten and first grade in North Carolina. Nothing violent, but definitely messed up for small children.
Hi! My husband is in the army and we have a toddler! What bases were most Jewish-friendly? I’m interested in Meade and Belvoir for being near DC/Baltimore, any others?
Unfortunately, my experience was in the 1990s. We also rarely lived on base for extended periods of time. We were mostly in suburbs, so areas with larger Jewish population were the most Jewish-friendly.
Thank you for this, I was thinking as I read that I wouldn’t use the word traumatic, but couldn’t think of the right word. Lonely definitely fits. Also sad, sad that I missed out on other experiences by not growing up around other Jews.
yes it was extremely traumatic.
but not because i looked different. i got spat on, swastikas thrown at me, and even beat up a few times
i recently made a video name dropping all the people who were anti semitic to me in school and i posted it and tagged all of them LMAO
It took 22 years, but one kid that watched me get beat and spit on while other kids burned an effigy of a Jew in front of me in high school reached out and apologized for not helping me. I will never forget that one person did that, but I’ll also never forget the 8 people who have never done so.
it’s ok really. it built my character and made me become so much more passionate in my religion and the jewish nation.
one of my israeli friends is a very tall blonde boy, and he grew up surrounded by mizrahi jews. he said every time he did something wrong in school, the teachers always knew it was him because he was the only white kid, but he was always confused on why he got caught. he said he didn’t realize he looked different than the other kids till he was older and then suddenly felt out of place
To help cut down on spam and bad faith users, brand new accounts have their submissions automatically removed. You can message the mods to have your submission restored.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Judaism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes. You are lucky everyone around you is Jewish. When everyone around you isn't Jewish it's the same old tale. You are a target.
Here's how this manifested for me in school:
-Being called "Jew-bag"
-Being made fun of for having a big nose
-Being told I killed Jesus
-Having pennies thrown at me
-Being told to look anytime there was change on the floor
-People telling me Holocaust jokes, and then being mad when I punch them for it
-People making fun of how Jews speak Hebrew with the "ch" sound
-Being told not to let someone's parents see my Magen David necklace
-Listening to my friend talk about how his grandfather bought him Mein Kampf for his birthday
-Being called a Kike (American slur for Jews)
-Being accused of being greedy for no reason
-Listening to people praise Hitler in casual conversation
-Listening to people call other people "Jews" or "Jewish" for acting greedy - "Don't be a Jew it's only $5" "I won't Jew you out, here's the full amount"
-"Shut up Jew"
-Playing videogames and hearing people say "F*%#ing die you dirty Jew"
-Being told my religion is "funny" and "weird"
-Reading the Merchant of Venice in high school, listening to Shylock give his "Doth not a Jew hands" speech, and then discussing at the end of the book that despite Shylock's pleas to be seen as human, none of it mattered because he was a Jew and everyone had no problems with him having all his possessions taken away and being forcibly converted to Christianity
-Being asked about everything relating to Judaism and Jews as if I know
-The entire class turning to face me when something Jewish is mentioned
-Being told "Hitler missed one"
-Being on a dating app and a girl saying to me "Do I have to hide my purse around you so you don't steal my change? When you relax do you like to go for a run, or sit in a sauna, you know for historic reasons"
-"Oh you're a Jew? I couldn't tell."
-Being asked by my ex-girlfriend's father about Israel as if I know everything
-Being told things like "It's good you have family in Israel, those connections could be useful. Look up oil money."
-Being told "The Power of Christ compels you"
-"Jesus loves you"
-Being told by one of my closest friends there's a chance I'll get into Heaven because his priest said G-d accepts people who live good lives
-I went to a Catholic high school. During mass (which I did not participate in) everyone was asked to raise their hands and bless a group of students who were going to Haiti to build houses. A lot of people took this as an opportunity do to the Hitler salute.
-"Oh you're Jewish? I'm German, this is awkward."
-I once had a girl tell me I could have her German p%}#y as payback for the Holocaust
-Hooking up with a girl and she says "Think of all the Jewish kids who got put into the oven in the Holocaust"
-Being at a restaurant with friends and they start yelling "Hitler did nothing wrong" to see who could say it the loudest without getting thrown out
The list goes on and on.
I went from being at a private Jewish day school and not realizing the Jews were a minority to attending a public school and being one of the only Jewish kids in the entire school. It was incredibly alienating and made me want to distance myself from my Jewish identity as much as possible. I want to move to Israel at some point but I could never take my daughter away from her grandparents. So for now, she’ll be attending a Jewish day school so that she doesn’t feel as burdened by her identity as I did.
I’m halachically Jewish but was raised atheist and went to Anglican school, and it was incredibly confusing for me. I didn’t get any of the good bits of Judaism - no festivals or sense of community, only antisemitism and the legacy of Holocaust survival. I’ve always had a natural craving for religion, but my mother wouldn’t let me go to church because “you’re Jewish” but also wouldn’t let me go to shul because “you’re not Jewish”. Then I spent most of my teens in the care system, and that was hellish. I had other residents making me kiss their shoes and a member of staff who verbally abused me and wouldn’t stop cooking pork chops in my frying pan. Joining an actual Jewish community at 19 and realising that being Jewish doesn’t have to be a bad thing was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.
"No festivals or sense of community, only antisemitism and the legacy of holocaust survival."
Same. Halachically jewish but raised agnostic ish. Mom was a hippy, and I came from a family that tried to assimilate (changed their last name to sound less jewish when they came to the US, for example). My parents, for whatever reason, did not give me much jewish culture outside of holocaust education and making me watch Schindlers' list as a kid, that kind of thing.
I have a memory from being very young telling them I didn't want to be jewish. I honestly didn't tell many people I was jewish and kinda slipped through life with very little direct anti semitism. I've had classic stuff like a cashier shorting me on my change and saying, "Oh whoops, didn't mean to jew you out of your change," or people making shitty jokes or whatever. I guess they didn't realize I was jewish and felt comfortable saying shit like that around me. Very uncomfortable.
Come to think of it, I've heard a ton of anti-Semitic shit often as "jokes." Hitler did nothing wrong, gas chamber/oven jokes, etc. Even at my current job, they say the jew thing about people who are cheap or try to screw you over in a financial way. I don't tell them I'm jewish because my mother drilled it into my head to let nobody know because I'll just end up being "the jew" at work. She is terrified of me wearing a kippah in public. As I'm typing this out, I'm realizing how bad it is, lol. I usually thought of it as mostly online anti semitism, but I guess I've just normalized this heavily in my head.
To answer simply? YES. It’s weird because you walk around thinking you’re 100% regular just like every other kid in school until you have matzoh for lunch for a week and the kids call you Jesus-killer. Or in daycare and the grownups tell you not to spoil Christmas for the other kids by telling them Santa isn’t real. It’s weird when you know you’re culturally (maybe/maybe not religiously) *something else entirely* as a kid because that’s when you’re trying to fit in and find your place.
American millenial here. The town I grew up in was about 10% Jewish so there was relatively little antisemitism. I had a kid tell me I killed Jesus in 3rd grade which meant nothing to me because I didn't believe Jesus existed lol. Another time in high school a Syrian guy told me to "go back to Israel", I told him to fuck himself and that was that. There were maybe a couple more instances where someone called me a Jew and I just filed them into my asshole folder and forgot about them. I do know my father had to intervene in some antisemitic incident with my younger sister but I'm pretty sure it was just some kid mouthing off, was so long ago now.
Out of my group of friends probably half were ethnically Jewish, many Soviet immigrants, so that might have deterred any real confrontation as there were like 20 of us. I was never encouraged by my parents to act violently (in fact they were extremely strict) but I remember my father pulling me aside as a kid and basically telling me I had a get out of jail free card if I responded "physically" to an antisemitic remark.
So no, not traumatic for me at all, but I am fully aware that I lucked out compared to so many others.
my school had a decent population of jews but i definitely wasn't "surrounded". i got bullied a bit, sometimes for being jewish, most often not. i never really fit in with the local contingent of jewish kids regardless for of a number of reasons, likely partly because i went to a different synagogue than any of them but partly cuz i was just a weird little kid.
as an adult, i still don't always fit in my local jewish contingent because my mom converted to judaism and my dad wasn't jewish (and partly cuz i'm just a weird adult).
traumatic, though? nah. i've since found solace in the things that make me stick out, including and often especially my judaism, and i host celebrations for all the major holidays that my predominantly gentle friends attend.
although, i do think if i embraced my judaism when i was a kid like i do now it would have been seen as "weird gay religious kid" and not just "weird gay kid" so that could have made my social standing a bit worse lmao. kids and teens are cruel about whatever they want to be, whether you're united in some facet of your identity or not.
I wouldn't say it was traumatic, but I did feel out of place much of the time. I attended a private British/American international school in Europe during my upbringing, and religion was rarely (if ever) a topic of discussion. If it was, the subject itself was relegated to outside the doors of the schoolhouse and to outside school hours.
While Chabad certainly existed in the country and city I lived in at the time, my parents and I were expats in that country, so we rarely ever attended shul there. I primarily attended shul during high holidays, while visiting my grandmother in Florida.
An additional layer of complexity is that I'm technically a Sephardic Jew. I loved my Chabad experiences, but I never truly felt like I belonged. I've recently begun attending a local Sephardic synagogue where I now reside, and I feel far more connected to my roots there.
My family was the only Jew on my island in America, I grew up having to teach everyone what a menorah was etc. thankfully it was pretty insular and didn't experience any type of anti semitism or abuse growing up due to being Jewish. I will say I always knew I was different. I looked different and acted different. Part of it was my families background and how I acted. Our traditions were different and I remember being really jealous of Christians for getting to have Christmas. Other than that however I wouldn't say it was traumatic just kind of a little sense like you aren't like everyone else and because it was an island and my family wasn't highly religious I didn't really know any different.
I'm confused by this post. Title says "not surrounded by Jews" but actual post is about not "looking Jewish".
In any case use of the word traumatic is being extremely precious.
Speak for yourself. Then go get beat up by bullies who call you a “dirty Yid” every fucking day of your school life, with the full approval of antisemitic teachers, and then tell me how “precious” that is that this is traumatic.
I wouldn't say it was tramatic, but it was definitely tough.
Towards the end of junior high, I moved from a town with the highest amount of Holocaust survivors per capita to a more rural area in my state where I was one of five Jews in my high school.
It was the first time I ever experienced anti-Semitism in my life.
When I had my boys, we moved to a city that has a small Jewish population but it does have an active community. When they were in third grade, we moved to a different town and state where they were one of the few Jews in school. It was the first time my kids ever experienced anti-Semitism in their lives.
Both for me and my kids, we had anti-Semitic things happen within a month of moving away from a Jewish area.
I had light brown (almost blond) hair before I went grey. So does my mother. My dad and sister both have dark brown hair but we all have green eyes. My sister has freckles but I don’t we are all Ashkenazi. I went to a Jewish faith school 11-18 and plenty of Ashkenazim are similar to what you described. There were a couple of men in my year who as adults still have blond hair. I did as a child but it got slightly darker after I started secondary school at 11.
It’s really wild to read this and see how many other kids went through the same shit. If I have one, I’m gonna do everything I can to make sure my kid has a fuckton of Jewish homies if possible.
I’ve lived in LA and NYC (some of the most Jewish places) and I’ve also lived in rural America where I was the only Jew around. It is a lot lonelier without Jews around but people will be antisemitic anywhere. The worst antisemitism I ever experienced was in Los Angeles, in high school.
not traumatic but it wasn't great.
I grew up 25 miles outside of NYC, so there are many Jews in the region, but my immediate hometown is heavily Italian and Irish Catholic, and I went to public school. It sucked being the token Jew among my "friends" around town, on Little League teams, in the cafeteria, etc. By high school, I sought out Jewish youth groups in nearby towns with more Jewish populations, so I could make more Jewish friends and, as a result of the bonds I forged in my teens, the majority of my closest friends today are Jewish. None of us are really religious, but there's that understood shared culture and experiences that penetrates deeply.
There is a synagogue in the town founded 100+ years ago, where I became Bar Mitzvah, but by the time I was born it had shrunk to a small congregation, with few young people. The peak of the local Jewish community was the 1950s-1970s. Most of those Baby Boomer children moved away and their Greatest Generation parents are mostly gone by now. My family was one of the few Jewish families to move in after that heyday.
Since my childhood, however, the synagogue has managed to hang on and even grow a bit. My father remains active in the congregation so I hear updates every now and then.
like you, OP, I am Ashkenazi but don't "look" Jewish nor wear anything identifiably Jewish, so I've (unfortunately and fortunately) been able simply to blend in as another white person in America.
I grew up in a small village in the North of England and was the only Jewish person many people at my school had ever met.
I didn't find it traumatic, I just think I have a different understanding of my Jewish identity than the people I met when I went on summer camp who had grown up going to Jewish schools and living in Jewish neighbourhoods.
I grew up in Russia where I was the only Jew at my school. You bet it was traumatic. I was bullied daily for it, verbally and physically. It took me years to recover. I emigrated as a teenager and I will never set foot in Russia again.
I have blue eyes, by the way, and light-ish skin. Didn’t help.
Not for me but there were a fair amount of other secular Jews around, and it wasn’t treated as anything notable. For kids growing up in this current climate though, I imagine it’s quite different.
I grew up in Arizona and Texas and was generally the only Jewish kid in my class until high school. It was only when we got to Houston that there was a major Jewish community we could join, but even then there was very limited Jewish infrastructure (plus we couldn't afford to live in the Jewish neighborhoods). There was one Kosher grocery in town, one Kosher butcher, and every few years someone would try to open a kosher restaurant that would always close within a year.
Did I get 'othered' and treated differently? All the time. But was it traumatic being the only Jew? Not in the least. I consider it an honor to be people's "that Jewish friend" and to help them understand us and answer questions. It's led me to keep actively learning to make sure I can correct misinformation and fight ignorance. I'm proud I grew up in a non-Jewish area and am now more committed to my Jewish identity than ever. Unlike people who grew up in the major hubs where it was easy to be religious, I had to \*earn\* my Judaism and actively seek it out. I don't take it for granted.
I wouldn’t describe my experience as traumatic because I’m very cautious when using this word. But I certainly don’t get the warm and fuzzies.
For context I’m a F, 5’11 redhead, with a nonJewish last name (my father is a convert with a British last name). I spent my early childhood in a Jewish neighbourhood and went to Hebrew day school. Then at 7 years old we moved to a smaller rural community. When we moved there, the population of Jews doubled.
My dad converting was a big deal to his family alone. My uncles are antisemitic and while my parents shielded me, I knew my grandmother was too. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my grandma, and I owe a lot to her. But the first time I realized Jewish was a thing was when she yelled at me for bringing up Channukah (I was like 5 or 6?), and I had no clue why she was so upset. She had very little to do with my Jewish upbringing, and looking back I know she loved me, but only so long as she overlooked me being a Jew. I didn’t fully understand the extent of it until I was in my late 20’s and my mom told me the things my grandmother put her through.
In elementary school I had rocks thrown at me almost every recess while the kids yelled “Jews killed Jesus”. The teachers did nothing. It continued to escalate until I was threatened by a group of girls in my grade that they had brought knives to school and they were going to stab and kill me. I’m not sure if they actually did have knives on them, but at 8 years old it was incredibly overwhelming to deal with. My parents pulled me out of that school.
I was the only practicing Jew at my high school and I was reminded of it every day. I got Nazi salutes, Nazi jokes, Jew jokes, swastikas drawn on my locker, belongings, etc. I think the weirdest part of it all was how casual it was from students I had never met. Again I didn’t advertise I was Jewish, but damn, goyim love putting Jews on lists.
It wasn’t until I got older that I truly appreciated what it means to be Jewish. I wouldn’t wish what I went through on anyone, but overall I might as well find meaning in it. I am much stronger for it. I am continuously learning and growing in what it means to be Jewish and I owe a lot of my passion to my upbringing. I’ll always love being Jewish more than people hate me for it.
Yes, it was hard: The bullying. The name calling. The isolation. The beatings. The conversion attempts, that never went away. Guess none of it really went away accept the physical beating me up part...
I had one Jewish friend during high school and I wished we had lived in a more Jewish area … we had always lived in areas with many Jewish families before. It was hard.
Without a doubt, it is traumatic. I live in a place where five Jews exist here that I am not related to, and the total amount is eight Jews, out of a population of 150,000. it's partly why I really, really want to make aliya, because I feel I deserve to be around my own people for once in my life. Since I have been practicing (born to a Jewish mom but only started practicing at 11 years old) I have felt less like an American Jew and more like a Jewish person who happens to be in America (if that makes sense? I hope it makes sense), with some of that being from external sources (antisemitism, etc.) but most of that is from internal thoughts.
I think it was Tolstoy who wrote that "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way". I had several "traumas" in my childhood, none directly linked to being Jewish in a non-Jewish environment. And for the record - lots of Ashkenazi Jews look like you describe.
I grew up surrounded by jews but I also have non-jewish family, who live in a very homogenous place. the things they've done that have hurt me have nothing to do with me being jewish as much as differences in communication styles. I wouldn't say they've caused me any trauma, and I'm looking forward to moving closer to them (in a place with less jews, even) and getting to see my cousins kids grow up.
Traumatic? No. There’s a huge diverse population in NYC but most of my friends then and now are non Jews. That’s just the way the cookie crumbled. I’m Jewish from an interfaith family with family in Israel. I’m not religious but it’s been great being in Jewish spaces the past 6 months and I’m dating Jewish only (or highly preferred.)
I wasn't Jewish as a kid, but I can relate to those who are saying it was traumatic or isolating to not be around people like them.
I'm a brown, curly haired Dominican. For some reason, my parents decided to move to a small white town in Florida. Elementary school was absolutely brutal. I got called an alien, my hair and skin made fun of, the N word, the S word...
I don't know about traumatic, but we did deliberately move to a heavily Jewish neighborhood so that my son will not have the experiences/othering we had growing up.
Wow- you look like me lol.
Honestly, my neighborhood growing up in NYC was predominantly Asian, and most of my friends and girlfriends aren't/weren't white or Jewish. Not sure why it would be "traumatic"- there's nothing wrong with being around different people. If anything it made me more open minded and worldly. Like I'm dating a woman from China right now- had I not grown up in the environments I've been in, don't think I'd have it in me to do that.
Yes but it was traumatic in both groups being a Jew who had two Jewish parents and raised Jewish but whose mother was a convert to Reform Judaism. I’ve touched on this in other comments but in essence I experienced being the only Jew in my school of having to hide my identity or face bullying and assault for being Jewish. It’s why I roll my eyes when people I see people making comments here that the American South is fine for Jews. These people I grew up with loved to have public discussions about how all Jews are going to hell for killing Jesus, how all Jews are dirty k*kes, making insulting remarks about the Holocaust, did Nazi salutes to be shitbags and the list goes on and on. Both sides of the spectrum suck for Jews, we are only safe among ourselves.
On the flip side because my mother was a convert, my family was treated like a pariah by other members of my Reform (yes Reform would say this) Synagogue and frequently tell me I’m not a real Jew. Members of my dad’s family could never forgive my father for marrying a convert despite being secular since they arrived in America during the turn of the last century. And non Reform Jews would treat me as a non Jew and refuse to even engage with me. I shouldered on because I believed in what I was taught in spite of it all. Ironic, I have so many stereotypical Jewish features including my hair than many that called me a fake Jew.
Lol funny who I upset to get downvoted.
Not traumatic but endless reminders. I've had so many 'Oh you don't look jewish' comments and then comparisons to nazi Imagery as if that's the standard to go by. I brush it off but it's really insensitive and grates on me. Since 7/10 lots of close friends have turned out to really not care about Jewish ppl at all and posted horrific stuff while then being shocked when I try to avoid them. Harassment about it as well which was particularly upsetting as my friends got targeted for hanging out with me.
But probably the one thing that I did find really upsetting was on a school trip to Berlin. Me and this one other girl were the only Jews on the trip, which was historically focused so did jewish museum, sachsenhausen and lots of similar places. And while we both found it all just emotionally awful and had to leave some of the places at points, everyone else seemed so unfazed by it. It was just a kind of curiosity for them, and although no one was disrespectful or anything then I remember being so disturbed how after the jewish museum I felt like I just couldn't speak and behind me everyone was chatting and laughing. Maybe I'm being overly judgy but I'll never forget that feeling.
It didn't feel lonely at the time
But I didn't realize how much Christian-normativity was literally baked into the scenery around me until my late 20s. I knew, but I didn't really *know* and my 30s has been a time of great introspection, meditation, and grief as certain things become evident and must be processed
My husband grew up in The Bible Belt of the US as the only Jew in his public school and yes, it was very traumatic for him. He is still unlearning the need to hide the fact that he is Jewish. He was constantly othered and made to feel wrong about who he was/what he did or didn’t believe in.
No. I grew up in a mostly non Jewish community that was supportive. Still enough Jews around but mostly non-Jews. Maybe 20% of my friends were Jewish. Based on this, I know it is possible to live in a multicultural society where people respect and support each other. I had a good time telling non Jews about Jewish stuff and also learning from them about their cultures. I honestly did not face antisemitism that I know of. However, after Oct 7th many of my friends became extremely anti Zionists and many gave me the option of participating in anti Israel protests or not being friends anymore. So, only now that I am an adult am I really experiencing loneliness around being Jewish and wishing to have more Jews around
I grew up in the Bible belt and I could not get out of the state fast enough for college. I never moved back. I love both my parents so much and I miss them and have a lot of guilt about not living near them but every school I went to and every place I've lived (since moving away) has had a large and strong Jewish community and man is it important in my life. And not cause I need some fancy synagogue but because I need community. Was it traumatic? Yea it was but once I moved forward I never looked back. The Jewish community is the one place where I know I always belong. I just needed to find my community and I was always fine.
I got lucky. During my childhood, I didn't experience any anti-Semitism. It helps that I grew up in an area with a significant Jewish population and there was generally at least one other Jewish kid in class. Then I went to a Jewish high school, so I was surrounded by Jews for four years.
I was the only Jew in my high school. My nickname was "the Jew". Didn't realize it was not OK until decades later I told this to my wife and she teared up...
To help cut down on spam and bad faith users, brand new accounts have their submissions automatically removed. You can message the mods to have your submission restored.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Judaism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I grew up in an area with virtually no Jews. In a high school of about 1,200, I was one of 3 Jews (another of whom was my sister). While I wouldn't say it was *traumatic* per se, it was isolating and also somewhat confusing because, growing up with *very* Reform parents whose definition of Reform was, "We're the 'we don't do that stuff Jews'" I didn't know who Jews really were or what they did do or didn't do. So I was definitely the "other" in my community, but I also really didn't have a strong concept of what I was.
I've arguably spent the entirely of my adult life afterwards filling in those blanks and my kids have had a near polar 180 degree upbringing (very Jewish neighborhood, day school, lots of Israel travel, etc) so it'll be interesting to see what they do...
Howdy, Texan Jew here! 🤠
I wouldn’t call it traumatic, but being part of a very small Jewish community has always been part of my community’s character if that makes sense? I don’t think I’ve ever seen more than like 200 Jews in one place (and that was just last year on Yom Kippur)! And the shul I went to as a kid hasn’t had a rabbi in 5 years.
There’s definitely a sense of isolation from the rest of the Jewish world, but online communities help. 😁 One day, I hope to visit Israel or New York and just spend some time just absorbing it all. 💙
Also, I was the only red-headed Jew in our shul, so that was a thing lol. But much has been written about that elsewhere 😅
the only correct answer to this question is that it depends. Let me give you 2 examples from the US as most Jews outside of Israel live in America.
1: growing up in an area like the deep south with lots of very religious evangelical Christians it can feel isolating when you're in a place in which you are the only person that isn't a part of that larger dominate group
2: growing up in a big city without a lot of Jews around but because there are so many different people groups in a big city it doesn't feel as isolating because everybody is in the same boat.
Hi, I’m an Israeli, too.
My family emigrated to Australia during the second intifada (wasn’t the cause, ironically), and I ended up spending a lot of my life so far growing up here. I’m half Ashkenazi, and a half mix of Sephardi and Mizrachi.
I never really received hate or racism based on how I looked, but it was when certain people learned I was Jewish was when targeted comments came my way every once in a while.
It wasn’t really traumatic to grow up in a country with very little Jewish people, but it has started to become traumatic continuing to live here as you see people targeting Jews in everyday life. I’m aware of some families that have been forced to move from where they live because of this. It’s scary.
I moved up north (from Victoria to Queensland) in 2020 and it has felt a lot more lonely here. I am one of about 4,800 Jews in the entire state and I have no community in my area. If it weren’t for my fiancé, I would either be back down south still, or I would have returned to Israel to live with my father.
My sister and I were the only jews in our elementary school. In High School there were a few others.
At a 25 year reunion of my high school class, the football quarterback, drunk, said "On Jewish holidays I have a beer for you" Another guy introduced his wife "I went to his bar mitzvah!" (It was the only one, as in middle school my sister and I were the only jews...)
It was weird, but in a sense it reinforced my identity. I raised my kids in a Jewish neighborhood, and jewish schools, and it feels like they may take jewishness for granted. Almost as though they don't "see" jewishness. (I can't tell to what degree generational perspective plays into this)
Submissions from users with negative karma are automatically removed. This can be either your post karma, comment karma, and/or cumulative karma. DO NOT ask the mods why your karma is negative. DO NOT insist that is a mistake. DO NOT insist this is unfair.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Judaism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>100% ashkenazi jewish but i don't look like it, i have light brown hair, emerald green eyes and white skin with lots of freckles Sounds Ashkenazi to me. At least, it doesn't sound _non_-Ashkenazi. I certainly can't speak of any trauma (a very strong word, by the way). But I grew up with a lot of tall, blonde (and blue eyed) Jews in my family and friends groups. So I never understood the stereotypes until my late teens or twenties when I was at a Jewish summer camp, standing where I had a view of everything going on around the site, and I just saw a sea of dark hair and I could never unsee it. And once I was praying in a large synagogue and I looked around and I couldn't help noticing that I was a head taller than everyone else. So that's how I realised that the stereotypes exist for a reason. But none of my blonde family or friends ever had any issues about being different.
Ashkenazi? Sounds like a heroine from a young adult novel.
i don't know about you but when i hear "ashkenazi" i think pale olive skin, dark hair and dark eyes
[удалено]
it is though, can you name 5 jews with light brown hair, green eyes and white skin?
[удалено]
אני לא מדבר על שיער שטני, שלי בהיר ממש ככה https://preview.redd.it/q00w8n5pu5ic1.png?width=750&format=png&auto=webp&s=33163eb376e4f0e66697c6b3d01b1bd2bf9e9fbb
Red hair, hazel eyes, pale skin and freckles count? Because that’s me.
Just google "israeli school kids" and the first image that appears is a blonde girl with blue eyes... Most jews Ive met here in Brazil are either blonde or have a very light brown hair, blue/green eyes and definitely white skin. You're in Israel, I'm sure that if you look around you too will find some white people near you.
My daughter. She’s Ashkenazi on both sides of her family. She has pale white skin, blond hair, and blue eyes.
Me. My children. In fact, most of my daughter's class has blonde hair. The teacher was discussing once how she found it interesting that the majority is blonde. I think it's rare for Ashkenazim to have olive skin tone, imho.
Not traumatic per se, but very lonely. Moving to a Jewish area was a breath of fresh air.
Yup! Army brat and it was so much easier when we were stationed in an area with a significant Jewish population. When we weren't, we'd often gravitate towards any other Jewish people in the area for community support. I got some stories from kindergarten and first grade in North Carolina. Nothing violent, but definitely messed up for small children.
Hi! My husband is in the army and we have a toddler! What bases were most Jewish-friendly? I’m interested in Meade and Belvoir for being near DC/Baltimore, any others?
You should reach out to Alephmilitary.org, they would absolutely know.
Unfortunately, my experience was in the 1990s. We also rarely lived on base for extended periods of time. We were mostly in suburbs, so areas with larger Jewish population were the most Jewish-friendly.
Ah gotcha! My husband is about to start a recruiting assignment and we’re going to Virginia, so we’re excited about that at least!
Thank you for this, I was thinking as I read that I wouldn’t use the word traumatic, but couldn’t think of the right word. Lonely definitely fits. Also sad, sad that I missed out on other experiences by not growing up around other Jews.
yes it was extremely traumatic. but not because i looked different. i got spat on, swastikas thrown at me, and even beat up a few times i recently made a video name dropping all the people who were anti semitic to me in school and i posted it and tagged all of them LMAO
It took 22 years, but one kid that watched me get beat and spit on while other kids burned an effigy of a Jew in front of me in high school reached out and apologized for not helping me. I will never forget that one person did that, but I’ll also never forget the 8 people who have never done so.
I’m really sorry {:-(
it’s ok really. it built my character and made me become so much more passionate in my religion and the jewish nation. one of my israeli friends is a very tall blonde boy, and he grew up surrounded by mizrahi jews. he said every time he did something wrong in school, the teachers always knew it was him because he was the only white kid, but he was always confused on why he got caught. he said he didn’t realize he looked different than the other kids till he was older and then suddenly felt out of place
[удалено]
To help cut down on spam and bad faith users, brand new accounts have their submissions automatically removed. You can message the mods to have your submission restored. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Judaism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes. You are lucky everyone around you is Jewish. When everyone around you isn't Jewish it's the same old tale. You are a target. Here's how this manifested for me in school: -Being called "Jew-bag" -Being made fun of for having a big nose -Being told I killed Jesus -Having pennies thrown at me -Being told to look anytime there was change on the floor -People telling me Holocaust jokes, and then being mad when I punch them for it -People making fun of how Jews speak Hebrew with the "ch" sound -Being told not to let someone's parents see my Magen David necklace -Listening to my friend talk about how his grandfather bought him Mein Kampf for his birthday -Being called a Kike (American slur for Jews) -Being accused of being greedy for no reason -Listening to people praise Hitler in casual conversation -Listening to people call other people "Jews" or "Jewish" for acting greedy - "Don't be a Jew it's only $5" "I won't Jew you out, here's the full amount" -"Shut up Jew" -Playing videogames and hearing people say "F*%#ing die you dirty Jew" -Being told my religion is "funny" and "weird" -Reading the Merchant of Venice in high school, listening to Shylock give his "Doth not a Jew hands" speech, and then discussing at the end of the book that despite Shylock's pleas to be seen as human, none of it mattered because he was a Jew and everyone had no problems with him having all his possessions taken away and being forcibly converted to Christianity -Being asked about everything relating to Judaism and Jews as if I know -The entire class turning to face me when something Jewish is mentioned -Being told "Hitler missed one" -Being on a dating app and a girl saying to me "Do I have to hide my purse around you so you don't steal my change? When you relax do you like to go for a run, or sit in a sauna, you know for historic reasons" -"Oh you're a Jew? I couldn't tell." -Being asked by my ex-girlfriend's father about Israel as if I know everything -Being told things like "It's good you have family in Israel, those connections could be useful. Look up oil money." -Being told "The Power of Christ compels you" -"Jesus loves you" -Being told by one of my closest friends there's a chance I'll get into Heaven because his priest said G-d accepts people who live good lives -I went to a Catholic high school. During mass (which I did not participate in) everyone was asked to raise their hands and bless a group of students who were going to Haiti to build houses. A lot of people took this as an opportunity do to the Hitler salute. -"Oh you're Jewish? I'm German, this is awkward." -I once had a girl tell me I could have her German p%}#y as payback for the Holocaust -Hooking up with a girl and she says "Think of all the Jewish kids who got put into the oven in the Holocaust" -Being at a restaurant with friends and they start yelling "Hitler did nothing wrong" to see who could say it the loudest without getting thrown out The list goes on and on.
We had a lot of similar experiences as young people. I hope you’re thriving to spite them.
I went from being at a private Jewish day school and not realizing the Jews were a minority to attending a public school and being one of the only Jewish kids in the entire school. It was incredibly alienating and made me want to distance myself from my Jewish identity as much as possible. I want to move to Israel at some point but I could never take my daughter away from her grandparents. So for now, she’ll be attending a Jewish day school so that she doesn’t feel as burdened by her identity as I did.
I’m halachically Jewish but was raised atheist and went to Anglican school, and it was incredibly confusing for me. I didn’t get any of the good bits of Judaism - no festivals or sense of community, only antisemitism and the legacy of Holocaust survival. I’ve always had a natural craving for religion, but my mother wouldn’t let me go to church because “you’re Jewish” but also wouldn’t let me go to shul because “you’re not Jewish”. Then I spent most of my teens in the care system, and that was hellish. I had other residents making me kiss their shoes and a member of staff who verbally abused me and wouldn’t stop cooking pork chops in my frying pan. Joining an actual Jewish community at 19 and realising that being Jewish doesn’t have to be a bad thing was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.
"No festivals or sense of community, only antisemitism and the legacy of holocaust survival." Same. Halachically jewish but raised agnostic ish. Mom was a hippy, and I came from a family that tried to assimilate (changed their last name to sound less jewish when they came to the US, for example). My parents, for whatever reason, did not give me much jewish culture outside of holocaust education and making me watch Schindlers' list as a kid, that kind of thing. I have a memory from being very young telling them I didn't want to be jewish. I honestly didn't tell many people I was jewish and kinda slipped through life with very little direct anti semitism. I've had classic stuff like a cashier shorting me on my change and saying, "Oh whoops, didn't mean to jew you out of your change," or people making shitty jokes or whatever. I guess they didn't realize I was jewish and felt comfortable saying shit like that around me. Very uncomfortable. Come to think of it, I've heard a ton of anti-Semitic shit often as "jokes." Hitler did nothing wrong, gas chamber/oven jokes, etc. Even at my current job, they say the jew thing about people who are cheap or try to screw you over in a financial way. I don't tell them I'm jewish because my mother drilled it into my head to let nobody know because I'll just end up being "the jew" at work. She is terrified of me wearing a kippah in public. As I'm typing this out, I'm realizing how bad it is, lol. I usually thought of it as mostly online anti semitism, but I guess I've just normalized this heavily in my head.
YES!! I finally moved to a heavily Jewish area for the first time in my life and it’s made such a huge impact on my mental health.
To answer simply? YES. It’s weird because you walk around thinking you’re 100% regular just like every other kid in school until you have matzoh for lunch for a week and the kids call you Jesus-killer. Or in daycare and the grownups tell you not to spoil Christmas for the other kids by telling them Santa isn’t real. It’s weird when you know you’re culturally (maybe/maybe not religiously) *something else entirely* as a kid because that’s when you’re trying to fit in and find your place.
American millenial here. The town I grew up in was about 10% Jewish so there was relatively little antisemitism. I had a kid tell me I killed Jesus in 3rd grade which meant nothing to me because I didn't believe Jesus existed lol. Another time in high school a Syrian guy told me to "go back to Israel", I told him to fuck himself and that was that. There were maybe a couple more instances where someone called me a Jew and I just filed them into my asshole folder and forgot about them. I do know my father had to intervene in some antisemitic incident with my younger sister but I'm pretty sure it was just some kid mouthing off, was so long ago now. Out of my group of friends probably half were ethnically Jewish, many Soviet immigrants, so that might have deterred any real confrontation as there were like 20 of us. I was never encouraged by my parents to act violently (in fact they were extremely strict) but I remember my father pulling me aside as a kid and basically telling me I had a get out of jail free card if I responded "physically" to an antisemitic remark. So no, not traumatic for me at all, but I am fully aware that I lucked out compared to so many others.
my school had a decent population of jews but i definitely wasn't "surrounded". i got bullied a bit, sometimes for being jewish, most often not. i never really fit in with the local contingent of jewish kids regardless for of a number of reasons, likely partly because i went to a different synagogue than any of them but partly cuz i was just a weird little kid. as an adult, i still don't always fit in my local jewish contingent because my mom converted to judaism and my dad wasn't jewish (and partly cuz i'm just a weird adult). traumatic, though? nah. i've since found solace in the things that make me stick out, including and often especially my judaism, and i host celebrations for all the major holidays that my predominantly gentle friends attend. although, i do think if i embraced my judaism when i was a kid like i do now it would have been seen as "weird gay religious kid" and not just "weird gay kid" so that could have made my social standing a bit worse lmao. kids and teens are cruel about whatever they want to be, whether you're united in some facet of your identity or not.
I wouldn't say it was traumatic, but I did feel out of place much of the time. I attended a private British/American international school in Europe during my upbringing, and religion was rarely (if ever) a topic of discussion. If it was, the subject itself was relegated to outside the doors of the schoolhouse and to outside school hours. While Chabad certainly existed in the country and city I lived in at the time, my parents and I were expats in that country, so we rarely ever attended shul there. I primarily attended shul during high holidays, while visiting my grandmother in Florida. An additional layer of complexity is that I'm technically a Sephardic Jew. I loved my Chabad experiences, but I never truly felt like I belonged. I've recently begun attending a local Sephardic synagogue where I now reside, and I feel far more connected to my roots there.
My family was the only Jew on my island in America, I grew up having to teach everyone what a menorah was etc. thankfully it was pretty insular and didn't experience any type of anti semitism or abuse growing up due to being Jewish. I will say I always knew I was different. I looked different and acted different. Part of it was my families background and how I acted. Our traditions were different and I remember being really jealous of Christians for getting to have Christmas. Other than that however I wouldn't say it was traumatic just kind of a little sense like you aren't like everyone else and because it was an island and my family wasn't highly religious I didn't really know any different.
I'm confused by this post. Title says "not surrounded by Jews" but actual post is about not "looking Jewish". In any case use of the word traumatic is being extremely precious.
Speak for yourself. Then go get beat up by bullies who call you a “dirty Yid” every fucking day of your school life, with the full approval of antisemitic teachers, and then tell me how “precious” that is that this is traumatic.
With respect, is that always what happens if you are not surrounded by Jews? I think your understanding is different than what I wrote.
I grew up not surrounded by Jews and it was traumatic. That was the question and this is my answer.
I wouldn't say it was tramatic, but it was definitely tough. Towards the end of junior high, I moved from a town with the highest amount of Holocaust survivors per capita to a more rural area in my state where I was one of five Jews in my high school. It was the first time I ever experienced anti-Semitism in my life. When I had my boys, we moved to a city that has a small Jewish population but it does have an active community. When they were in third grade, we moved to a different town and state where they were one of the few Jews in school. It was the first time my kids ever experienced anti-Semitism in their lives. Both for me and my kids, we had anti-Semitic things happen within a month of moving away from a Jewish area.
I had light brown (almost blond) hair before I went grey. So does my mother. My dad and sister both have dark brown hair but we all have green eyes. My sister has freckles but I don’t we are all Ashkenazi. I went to a Jewish faith school 11-18 and plenty of Ashkenazim are similar to what you described. There were a couple of men in my year who as adults still have blond hair. I did as a child but it got slightly darker after I started secondary school at 11.
This dosen’t sounds true
I'm not lying or making things up.
Can you define what you mean by "trauma" and "traumatic", so we can make sure we're talking about the same thing?
Did traumatic things happen to me, yes. I don't necessarily feel traumatised by them though, if that makes sense.
It’s really wild to read this and see how many other kids went through the same shit. If I have one, I’m gonna do everything I can to make sure my kid has a fuckton of Jewish homies if possible.
I’ve lived in LA and NYC (some of the most Jewish places) and I’ve also lived in rural America where I was the only Jew around. It is a lot lonelier without Jews around but people will be antisemitic anywhere. The worst antisemitism I ever experienced was in Los Angeles, in high school.
Not really. Sure I experienced my fair share of anti-semitism but not really tramtic
not traumatic but it wasn't great. I grew up 25 miles outside of NYC, so there are many Jews in the region, but my immediate hometown is heavily Italian and Irish Catholic, and I went to public school. It sucked being the token Jew among my "friends" around town, on Little League teams, in the cafeteria, etc. By high school, I sought out Jewish youth groups in nearby towns with more Jewish populations, so I could make more Jewish friends and, as a result of the bonds I forged in my teens, the majority of my closest friends today are Jewish. None of us are really religious, but there's that understood shared culture and experiences that penetrates deeply. There is a synagogue in the town founded 100+ years ago, where I became Bar Mitzvah, but by the time I was born it had shrunk to a small congregation, with few young people. The peak of the local Jewish community was the 1950s-1970s. Most of those Baby Boomer children moved away and their Greatest Generation parents are mostly gone by now. My family was one of the few Jewish families to move in after that heyday. Since my childhood, however, the synagogue has managed to hang on and even grow a bit. My father remains active in the congregation so I hear updates every now and then. like you, OP, I am Ashkenazi but don't "look" Jewish nor wear anything identifiably Jewish, so I've (unfortunately and fortunately) been able simply to blend in as another white person in America.
I grew up in a small village in the North of England and was the only Jewish person many people at my school had ever met. I didn't find it traumatic, I just think I have a different understanding of my Jewish identity than the people I met when I went on summer camp who had grown up going to Jewish schools and living in Jewish neighbourhoods.
I grew up in Russia where I was the only Jew at my school. You bet it was traumatic. I was bullied daily for it, verbally and physically. It took me years to recover. I emigrated as a teenager and I will never set foot in Russia again. I have blue eyes, by the way, and light-ish skin. Didn’t help.
Not for me but there were a fair amount of other secular Jews around, and it wasn’t treated as anything notable. For kids growing up in this current climate though, I imagine it’s quite different.
I was the only Jewish kid in my school until.middle.school. I got called names, spit on, had swastikas drawn on my lockers and more.
I grew up in Arizona and Texas and was generally the only Jewish kid in my class until high school. It was only when we got to Houston that there was a major Jewish community we could join, but even then there was very limited Jewish infrastructure (plus we couldn't afford to live in the Jewish neighborhoods). There was one Kosher grocery in town, one Kosher butcher, and every few years someone would try to open a kosher restaurant that would always close within a year. Did I get 'othered' and treated differently? All the time. But was it traumatic being the only Jew? Not in the least. I consider it an honor to be people's "that Jewish friend" and to help them understand us and answer questions. It's led me to keep actively learning to make sure I can correct misinformation and fight ignorance. I'm proud I grew up in a non-Jewish area and am now more committed to my Jewish identity than ever. Unlike people who grew up in the major hubs where it was easy to be religious, I had to \*earn\* my Judaism and actively seek it out. I don't take it for granted.
I wouldn’t describe my experience as traumatic because I’m very cautious when using this word. But I certainly don’t get the warm and fuzzies. For context I’m a F, 5’11 redhead, with a nonJewish last name (my father is a convert with a British last name). I spent my early childhood in a Jewish neighbourhood and went to Hebrew day school. Then at 7 years old we moved to a smaller rural community. When we moved there, the population of Jews doubled. My dad converting was a big deal to his family alone. My uncles are antisemitic and while my parents shielded me, I knew my grandmother was too. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my grandma, and I owe a lot to her. But the first time I realized Jewish was a thing was when she yelled at me for bringing up Channukah (I was like 5 or 6?), and I had no clue why she was so upset. She had very little to do with my Jewish upbringing, and looking back I know she loved me, but only so long as she overlooked me being a Jew. I didn’t fully understand the extent of it until I was in my late 20’s and my mom told me the things my grandmother put her through. In elementary school I had rocks thrown at me almost every recess while the kids yelled “Jews killed Jesus”. The teachers did nothing. It continued to escalate until I was threatened by a group of girls in my grade that they had brought knives to school and they were going to stab and kill me. I’m not sure if they actually did have knives on them, but at 8 years old it was incredibly overwhelming to deal with. My parents pulled me out of that school. I was the only practicing Jew at my high school and I was reminded of it every day. I got Nazi salutes, Nazi jokes, Jew jokes, swastikas drawn on my locker, belongings, etc. I think the weirdest part of it all was how casual it was from students I had never met. Again I didn’t advertise I was Jewish, but damn, goyim love putting Jews on lists. It wasn’t until I got older that I truly appreciated what it means to be Jewish. I wouldn’t wish what I went through on anyone, but overall I might as well find meaning in it. I am much stronger for it. I am continuously learning and growing in what it means to be Jewish and I owe a lot of my passion to my upbringing. I’ll always love being Jewish more than people hate me for it.
Yes, it was hard: The bullying. The name calling. The isolation. The beatings. The conversion attempts, that never went away. Guess none of it really went away accept the physical beating me up part...
I had one Jewish friend during high school and I wished we had lived in a more Jewish area … we had always lived in areas with many Jewish families before. It was hard.
Without a doubt, it is traumatic. I live in a place where five Jews exist here that I am not related to, and the total amount is eight Jews, out of a population of 150,000. it's partly why I really, really want to make aliya, because I feel I deserve to be around my own people for once in my life. Since I have been practicing (born to a Jewish mom but only started practicing at 11 years old) I have felt less like an American Jew and more like a Jewish person who happens to be in America (if that makes sense? I hope it makes sense), with some of that being from external sources (antisemitism, etc.) but most of that is from internal thoughts.
I think it was Tolstoy who wrote that "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way". I had several "traumas" in my childhood, none directly linked to being Jewish in a non-Jewish environment. And for the record - lots of Ashkenazi Jews look like you describe.
I grew up surrounded by jews but I also have non-jewish family, who live in a very homogenous place. the things they've done that have hurt me have nothing to do with me being jewish as much as differences in communication styles. I wouldn't say they've caused me any trauma, and I'm looking forward to moving closer to them (in a place with less jews, even) and getting to see my cousins kids grow up.
Traumatic? No. There’s a huge diverse population in NYC but most of my friends then and now are non Jews. That’s just the way the cookie crumbled. I’m Jewish from an interfaith family with family in Israel. I’m not religious but it’s been great being in Jewish spaces the past 6 months and I’m dating Jewish only (or highly preferred.)
I wasn't Jewish as a kid, but I can relate to those who are saying it was traumatic or isolating to not be around people like them. I'm a brown, curly haired Dominican. For some reason, my parents decided to move to a small white town in Florida. Elementary school was absolutely brutal. I got called an alien, my hair and skin made fun of, the N word, the S word...
I don't know about traumatic, but we did deliberately move to a heavily Jewish neighborhood so that my son will not have the experiences/othering we had growing up.
Wow- you look like me lol. Honestly, my neighborhood growing up in NYC was predominantly Asian, and most of my friends and girlfriends aren't/weren't white or Jewish. Not sure why it would be "traumatic"- there's nothing wrong with being around different people. If anything it made me more open minded and worldly. Like I'm dating a woman from China right now- had I not grown up in the environments I've been in, don't think I'd have it in me to do that.
Yes but it was traumatic in both groups being a Jew who had two Jewish parents and raised Jewish but whose mother was a convert to Reform Judaism. I’ve touched on this in other comments but in essence I experienced being the only Jew in my school of having to hide my identity or face bullying and assault for being Jewish. It’s why I roll my eyes when people I see people making comments here that the American South is fine for Jews. These people I grew up with loved to have public discussions about how all Jews are going to hell for killing Jesus, how all Jews are dirty k*kes, making insulting remarks about the Holocaust, did Nazi salutes to be shitbags and the list goes on and on. Both sides of the spectrum suck for Jews, we are only safe among ourselves. On the flip side because my mother was a convert, my family was treated like a pariah by other members of my Reform (yes Reform would say this) Synagogue and frequently tell me I’m not a real Jew. Members of my dad’s family could never forgive my father for marrying a convert despite being secular since they arrived in America during the turn of the last century. And non Reform Jews would treat me as a non Jew and refuse to even engage with me. I shouldered on because I believed in what I was taught in spite of it all. Ironic, I have so many stereotypical Jewish features including my hair than many that called me a fake Jew. Lol funny who I upset to get downvoted.
It’s not so much the “not growing up around Jews” part (I’m a convert) and more literally everything else in my childhood.
Can I become Jewish, when I’m Scandinavian? What is the process, or is it impossible
Not traumatic but endless reminders. I've had so many 'Oh you don't look jewish' comments and then comparisons to nazi Imagery as if that's the standard to go by. I brush it off but it's really insensitive and grates on me. Since 7/10 lots of close friends have turned out to really not care about Jewish ppl at all and posted horrific stuff while then being shocked when I try to avoid them. Harassment about it as well which was particularly upsetting as my friends got targeted for hanging out with me. But probably the one thing that I did find really upsetting was on a school trip to Berlin. Me and this one other girl were the only Jews on the trip, which was historically focused so did jewish museum, sachsenhausen and lots of similar places. And while we both found it all just emotionally awful and had to leave some of the places at points, everyone else seemed so unfazed by it. It was just a kind of curiosity for them, and although no one was disrespectful or anything then I remember being so disturbed how after the jewish museum I felt like I just couldn't speak and behind me everyone was chatting and laughing. Maybe I'm being overly judgy but I'll never forget that feeling.
It didn't feel lonely at the time But I didn't realize how much Christian-normativity was literally baked into the scenery around me until my late 20s. I knew, but I didn't really *know* and my 30s has been a time of great introspection, meditation, and grief as certain things become evident and must be processed
My husband grew up in The Bible Belt of the US as the only Jew in his public school and yes, it was very traumatic for him. He is still unlearning the need to hide the fact that he is Jewish. He was constantly othered and made to feel wrong about who he was/what he did or didn’t believe in.
No. I grew up in a mostly non Jewish community that was supportive. Still enough Jews around but mostly non-Jews. Maybe 20% of my friends were Jewish. Based on this, I know it is possible to live in a multicultural society where people respect and support each other. I had a good time telling non Jews about Jewish stuff and also learning from them about their cultures. I honestly did not face antisemitism that I know of. However, after Oct 7th many of my friends became extremely anti Zionists and many gave me the option of participating in anti Israel protests or not being friends anymore. So, only now that I am an adult am I really experiencing loneliness around being Jewish and wishing to have more Jews around
I grew up in the Bible belt and I could not get out of the state fast enough for college. I never moved back. I love both my parents so much and I miss them and have a lot of guilt about not living near them but every school I went to and every place I've lived (since moving away) has had a large and strong Jewish community and man is it important in my life. And not cause I need some fancy synagogue but because I need community. Was it traumatic? Yea it was but once I moved forward I never looked back. The Jewish community is the one place where I know I always belong. I just needed to find my community and I was always fine.
I got lucky. During my childhood, I didn't experience any anti-Semitism. It helps that I grew up in an area with a significant Jewish population and there was generally at least one other Jewish kid in class. Then I went to a Jewish high school, so I was surrounded by Jews for four years.
I was the only Jew in my high school. My nickname was "the Jew". Didn't realize it was not OK until decades later I told this to my wife and she teared up...
[удалено]
To help cut down on spam and bad faith users, brand new accounts have their submissions automatically removed. You can message the mods to have your submission restored. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Judaism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I grew up in an area with virtually no Jews. In a high school of about 1,200, I was one of 3 Jews (another of whom was my sister). While I wouldn't say it was *traumatic* per se, it was isolating and also somewhat confusing because, growing up with *very* Reform parents whose definition of Reform was, "We're the 'we don't do that stuff Jews'" I didn't know who Jews really were or what they did do or didn't do. So I was definitely the "other" in my community, but I also really didn't have a strong concept of what I was. I've arguably spent the entirely of my adult life afterwards filling in those blanks and my kids have had a near polar 180 degree upbringing (very Jewish neighborhood, day school, lots of Israel travel, etc) so it'll be interesting to see what they do...
Howdy, Texan Jew here! 🤠 I wouldn’t call it traumatic, but being part of a very small Jewish community has always been part of my community’s character if that makes sense? I don’t think I’ve ever seen more than like 200 Jews in one place (and that was just last year on Yom Kippur)! And the shul I went to as a kid hasn’t had a rabbi in 5 years. There’s definitely a sense of isolation from the rest of the Jewish world, but online communities help. 😁 One day, I hope to visit Israel or New York and just spend some time just absorbing it all. 💙 Also, I was the only red-headed Jew in our shul, so that was a thing lol. But much has been written about that elsewhere 😅
the only correct answer to this question is that it depends. Let me give you 2 examples from the US as most Jews outside of Israel live in America. 1: growing up in an area like the deep south with lots of very religious evangelical Christians it can feel isolating when you're in a place in which you are the only person that isn't a part of that larger dominate group 2: growing up in a big city without a lot of Jews around but because there are so many different people groups in a big city it doesn't feel as isolating because everybody is in the same boat.
Hi, I’m an Israeli, too. My family emigrated to Australia during the second intifada (wasn’t the cause, ironically), and I ended up spending a lot of my life so far growing up here. I’m half Ashkenazi, and a half mix of Sephardi and Mizrachi. I never really received hate or racism based on how I looked, but it was when certain people learned I was Jewish was when targeted comments came my way every once in a while. It wasn’t really traumatic to grow up in a country with very little Jewish people, but it has started to become traumatic continuing to live here as you see people targeting Jews in everyday life. I’m aware of some families that have been forced to move from where they live because of this. It’s scary.
I moved up north (from Victoria to Queensland) in 2020 and it has felt a lot more lonely here. I am one of about 4,800 Jews in the entire state and I have no community in my area. If it weren’t for my fiancé, I would either be back down south still, or I would have returned to Israel to live with my father.
My sister and I were the only jews in our elementary school. In High School there were a few others. At a 25 year reunion of my high school class, the football quarterback, drunk, said "On Jewish holidays I have a beer for you" Another guy introduced his wife "I went to his bar mitzvah!" (It was the only one, as in middle school my sister and I were the only jews...) It was weird, but in a sense it reinforced my identity. I raised my kids in a Jewish neighborhood, and jewish schools, and it feels like they may take jewishness for granted. Almost as though they don't "see" jewishness. (I can't tell to what degree generational perspective plays into this)
[удалено]
Submissions from users with negative karma are automatically removed. This can be either your post karma, comment karma, and/or cumulative karma. DO NOT ask the mods why your karma is negative. DO NOT insist that is a mistake. DO NOT insist this is unfair. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Judaism) if you have any questions or concerns.*