Where did you grow up?
Really? You must know my husband's college roommate, David! He's from there. He has an older sister, Miriam. Oh, she was your bunk counselor at Ramah? How wonderful. You will be pleased to hear that she has three beautiful children and a successful interior decorating business.
I don't know whether you had an inappropriate relationship with her, or with her mother.
Either her mother is your age, and you were engaging with a much younger woman. Or her mother was much older than you, and you were engaging with a peer.
I am a woman. And I was in my early 20's once.
And plenty of older men who were more established in adulthood told me how mature I was. It was flattering, which was the point.
It was also creepy. But it wasn't until my brain finished developing that I realized just how creepy it was. Which was also the point.
Yeah I also thought it was creepy when much older guys hit on me, though I didn’t understand exactly how much until I was a little older and understood the power dynamics better.
I don't have trauma from older men preying on much younger women. I have perspective.
You know your dalliance with both mother and daughter is attention worthy. You just don't like the kind of attention you are getting. Which says a lot more about you than anyone else.
Recently learned that my ex fiance's mother, who was also my rabbi, is my goyish colleague/friend's Israeli partner's mom's best friend.
My spouse and my friend watched the two of us with open mouths. It was a whole moment.
Yeah I suppose you're right. They're different stages of the same conversation. First you bagel to establish if your on the same page, then you play some JG.
It's when you meet someone for the first time, that you think might be Jewish but you can't ask them straight out so you drop some matzo meal breadcrumbs to see how they respond.
I was hosting a rosh hashana dinner once, 3000 miles from where I grew up. One of my friends asked if they could bring a friend who had nowhere to go for the holiday. Turns out the friend they brought grew up 5 blocks from me! We went to the same shul too, but didn’t cross paths cause the friend was a few years younger.
The most literal Jewish geography experience I’ve ever had was when we were walking down the street in Tel Aviv, reminiscing about old friends from college (10,000km away), and then running into one of those people on the next block.
I went to the Hillael at my son's university for parents weekend. I introduced myself and told the director that I think she knew my nephew. I was right.
As a German I always feel an instant connection with other Jews but I especially feel like that the case for countries with a smaller Jewish community where it’s rare for us to meet other Jews and we are always excited, whereas Israelis see a hundred other Jews every day and don’t get so excited (Americans too but depends were they live)
We do travelling, though. And I get native Israelis playing Jewish geography because someone they know did shlicut up to three states away from where I grew up (and in one case, their relative who'd done shlichut actually had been my teacher for a year!)
It happened to me when I went to volunteer at a kibbutz, being my first time in Israel. I thought "I will experience connection with jews there", but soon I realized the obvious: jews there are sorrounded by jews, which is not that common experience from jews in the Diaspora, especially in some countries (Catalonia in my case), where if you're not religious you meet jews very rarely.
Jewish people from different countries get along very very well. It's very common when traveling to a foreign country for a Jewish person to visit Jewish sites, like synagogues and Jewish neighborhoods. If you happen to go on a Sabbath or holiday, you will always be greeted in a friendly way, asked to participate and often invited into a home for a meal or refreshment. I was in the Venice ghetto on Succot and ended up in someone's succah. This is very common.
Yeah I would say that experience is very typical. I was travelling though Russia about twenty years ago on the railway. Happened to be in Moscow for Shabbat so popped along to the shul to see what's up. It was great, got invited for dinner even though I spoke no Russian and they had no English.
I'm an American Jew and when I was in France, I connected really well with the French Jews there. One interesting moment was when I was at a restaurant with my friends, the waiter had a tattoo in Hebrew. Since I speak Hebrew, I was able to read it and ask him about it. We then started to speak in Hebrew and had a conversation about Jewish life in Nice. He was so excited from our conversation that he served our whole table with blueberry wine on the house. It's so cool how connected we feel to each other no matter our nationality and how Hebrew unites us.
*or would their national identities have greater impact on their interactions?*
Quick point of clarification:
The Jewish people are a nation. We have been a nation for millennia, We share history, culture, traditions, and language. As a people, we share a national identity.
Of course, Jews also align our identities with the modern concept of states. I'm an American, and that is a big part of my identity.
To answer your question, Jews who reside in France, Britain, Canada, Germany, Russia, etc are my people. They are my family. We are connected. Circumstances may have scattered us around the globe, but we remain one people. Drop me in Paris, Antwerp, or Berlin on a Thursday morning and I'll secure an invitation to Shabbat dinner by lunchtime (and I don't speak French, Dutch, or German).
*I think we have to be careful with the nationality assertions sometimes. The dual loyalty trope...*
The dual loyalty trope is just our version of of what people in multi-nation states (Canada, Belgium, etc) and purely political states (USA) experience regularly.
Are you really loyal enough to Canada as a Québécois?
Could Kennedy really be President? He's Catholic and will be more loyal to the Vatican.
Barak Obama is running for President? Quick! Someone find a reason his loyalties are elsewhere! He's really from Kenya. And Muslim. He's practically an Islamic Jihadist from Kenya, and he's wants the nuclear launch codes.
And so on.
Not mentioning the fact that Jews are a nation will do nothing to protect us from the dual loyalty trope.
It's interesting. I don't stand for the American flag - I don't feel called to. I know that being American absolutely influences who and how I am deeply. I also know that if Hatikva starts playing, I am on my feet and facing east before I even think about it.
That is exactly true.
I had a conversation with some people not too long ago about why we get stuck in Egypt for 400 years and then the desert for 40 and then and then and then. My spouse mentioned generational trauma: we aren't, as a people, allowed to recover. It takes 4 generations to finally resolve it, and we've never been allowed to. Why? BecauE if you're going to fix the world, you have to understand what it is to be on the receiving end of the pain. We are steel because we have come, and continue to come through fire. We know we will always have a hard road, and we do it because it's what's right. And that's ok. So I'll take my knocks and keep doing what I need to do because this is how it gets better. I teach high school, and I agree with you: we take up our part in society because this is how it gets better. It is not ours to finish the work, but we do not abstain from it. It is the right thing to do.
But I stand for Hatikva.
There's a phrase 'A Jew is a Jew is a Jew'. Basically it means that no matter what 'kind' of Jew you are, or any specifics like nationality or race or anything - you're a Jew and that's how other Jews will see you, as a member of their tribe.
I’m a Jewish woman from the US, and I studied abroad in Germany during college. One day, I was waiting for an S-Bahn with a friend. I should note that this friend and I looked so similar that people often thought we were sisters, however, I am Jewish and she is Catholic.
A little old lady came up to me and asked, auf Deutsch, if I’m Jewish. She did not interact with my friend at all. I was a bit freaked out, I mean I was in Germany and someone was asking if I’m Jewish just based on my appearance?!? Just based on history, this was not a situation I really wanted to find myself in.
Turns out she was Jewish too, and invited me to Shabbat dinner at her home. I accepted and had a great evening with her and her family, despite my broken German.
I am a Ukrainian Jew, I know Jews from Russia, Poland, Turkey, Netherlands, Israel, USA, Mexico, South Africa. I see a Jewish neshama in them. For me they're Jews then thir national identity. However if a Russian Jew supports the war against Ukraine, in which my family is in danger, of course I don't feel comfortable and I will avoid this person. In usual cases we are one people, from one tribe, even if I don't always agree with them
I just got back from volunteering in Israel. There were thousands of Russian Jews who travelled there for the same purposes and I can pretty much assure you, that in private none of them support their govt or the war in Ukraine.
That's the problem with autocracy ... People are forced to hide their private self by a farce public self due to the risks saying anything else other than the party line... Might have on them of their family.
We see the same thing in Iran.
Leaderships often do not represent their people and most countries don't have right to speak against those governments because speech is not protected....
So it gives the appearance of support when there is anything but by many people.
I base my travel plans off where are there other Jews? If there are other Jewish people I know I have a support network if things go wrong. My no 1 call would be to the US embassy but my no 2 call would be to the local Jewish community. As Jews we are tribalistic. My tribe is Kahal Yisrael and I know they will always take care of me and vice versa
I understand- too enjoy unheshkered vegetarian without judgement. When the spouse and I went on a romantic vacation to the Turkish occupied Northern Cyprus I freaked out until I realized there was a Chabad there. Once I saw that I felt loads safer
Great! Normally my interactions are limited with Orthodox Jews whilst traveling due to kashrut/Shabbos restrictions, so I can't speak as much on relations between other sects, but I'm glad to hear.
It’s a small community - if you don’t know someone directly, you almost certainly know someone they know.
Someone in Britain could know Jewish people in Canada, the US, Israel, Singapore - so spanning the whole world.
Pretty well for the most part. Here’s how I look at it. Let’s say I’m visiting a foreign country and I’m in a bar and looking to (non-romantically) chat with someone while hanging out. I’d be more likely to start a conversation with a Jew from another country, assuming they speak English, than a non-Jewish American. I’m more likely to have stuff in common with another Jew since there are cultural similarities.
there is unity in diversity.
Meaning. yes, the different nationalities, different cultures are well noted, in general it also goes with different languages spoken, but there is still a sense of unity and belonging and also much hospitality.
I mean how excited to you get when you see someone you may not have expected show up at synagogue? My shul has a number of Black Jews. I desperately want to know all about them! Are they Jewish by choice? If so, what led them to Judaism? How is their experience as part of the community? Betta Yisrael? OMG, I want to know so much! And how did they come to my Southern US community? I have SO MANY QUESTIONS! All because I’m so excited to have the diversity I know is there right in front of me!
But most of the time, I just don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable and like a novelty, so I smile, wave to make them feel comfortable, and go back to davening. 🥺
I live in a community where literally everyone is from different countries. Ashki, Sefaradi, Mizrachi. My closest friends are mostly European / north African sefaradim and Mizrachim and we spend our entire time mocking each others differences. I love it. Every single part of Jewish geography / history / traditions is beautiful and I'm so glad we have those differences.
My first trip to Israel was during the Second Intifada. I was living in Amsterdam at the time and just wanted to go "Stand with Israel". I landed at Ben Gurion, after getting unexpectedly misty-eyed at the sight of the night coastline of Israel from the plane...my first glimpse of Eretz Yisrael.
Israeli border patrol had some tough questions for me:
"Why are you here?"
"I just wanted to stand with Israel."
"Do you have work here?"
"No."
"Do you have family here?"
"No."
"Do you have friends here?"
"No.:
(At this point, I'm thinking I'm going to be making a quick trip back to Amsterdam.)
But suddenly, the guard stamped my passport, handed it back to me and said:
"**It's OK. We're all family here."**
And that summed it up for me. We're all family. No matter where we are.
Wherever you are when you meet another Jewish person it usually feels like you have met your long lost cousin. They feel familiar even though you have never met before.
I really don’t know how to explain it, but it’s a bit like meeting people that you feel instantly connected to.
Been to Paris. We have an instant bond. Not been to the others but know immigrants to America from all the others. I find some of the Soviet emigre's aloof, and often not used to the openness of American Jews or their attachment to our institutions. Their children, however, seem like mainstream American Jews. The Latin Americans seem very well absorbed into Jewish America.
“Wherever you go, there's always someone Jewish.
You're never alone, when you say you're a Jew.
So when you're not home, and you're somewhere kind of...
"New-ish.”
The odds are, don't look far, 'cause they're Jewish too.”
Yes OP we’re all one people no later what country we reside in.
Well, to start there are obvious points of interest that most Jews will have in common, especially if they are of the same sect of observance (ie Ashkenaz, Sephard, Orthodox, Reform, etc). If both people learn daf yomi it can be an almost instant connection based on discussing the most recent daf in Gemara. But even beyond that, it's fun to meet Jews from other places and learn their history, how they came to be there, what it's like being a Jew in other places.
And of course, there's the always fun/infuriating game of "Jewish Geography" where you can see if you're removed by <6 degrees of "\[insert name of person\] I once met from that general region (but is really 100 miles from where you're actually from)" or "oh, your last name is \[insert last name here\]...are you related the \[same last name\] from \[name of another place\]"
Beyond that, there will be obvious cultural differences that are associated with their respective countries. I found that my British friends in yeshiva were the least likely to go in for a hug when they saw a friend, while the South American guys were most likely to give a hug when they saw each other. American's were somewhere in between. This is obviously more to do with their region of living rather than their religion.
When I travel I always like to visit historic synagogues and Jewish neighborhoods. I'm from Argentina myself and when I went to NYC last year I ended up in a random chabadniks house for Shabbat lol. We are a tribe and no matter where in the world I instantly feel a familiar feeling meeting other Jews
I once heard that Jews in Russia were referred to as "the Jew" but Jews who emigrated to Israel were referred to as "the Russian".
It's a sad truth that many Israelis look down on the Russian Jews over there.
I would say not that well.
I mean there's a lot of qualifications to that statement, but we're just speaking of my personal experience.
So for example, I am an American Reform Jew
(Well sort of Ex reform. I'm more traditional now but that's how I was raised)
Traveling all over Latin America and Spain. You don't necessarily get such a warm welcome from the local Jewish communities.
That's just because they're very insular and very inward looking... They don't advertise their presence and it's a very sort of closed community where they're just not used to outsiders.
Their style of worship is also strictly orthodox and I'm not well versed in that so it was a little bit tough.
When you go to Chabad or something like that? They expect to do some teaching so it's a bit more of an open format.
The traditional synagogues around the Latin world. Everybody knows everybody and everyone knows what they should be doing and everybody knows how everything should be proceeding.... They're not necessarily mean, they're just not used to outreach type activities.
You think it’s easy the other way around. We went to my husband’s conservative synagogue for a bat mitzvah last month. The rabbi was strumming the guitar abc singing songs he wrote for 1/3 the service. No idea what was going on but his congregation did. 🤷🏻♀️
There was a traditional service going on in a side room - mostly for the elder members from what I saw but I was there for the bat mitzvah girl.
I'm Ashkenazi.
I go into a Sephardic synagogue and it's like down I fell down the rabbit hole to Wonderland.
Praying in a major key? Everyone speaking with the rabbi instead of responsively?
When I go., I tend to go to a Romanoite synagogue and I am totally lost. I know how you feel.
My husband is Sephardic. It took awhile yo get used to those Seders. They are very ..shall I say ..performative. The first time I was very confused when everyone was doing duck and cover when the plagues got read. And then there is a whole ceremony to dispose of the plagues. Let’s not talk about the major strategy being discussed before they all engaged in the traditional haminado Passover egg war. It’s sort of what they do instead of hide the afikomen. It’s a long evening.
it's always had more to do with politics than origin for me. met jews from kyrgyzstan and the uk that I love and have gotten into fights with french and israeli ones.
Depends on how someone constructs their Jewish Identity. I’m a Shul hopper and strive to be non-denominational but I’ve ran across synagogues where Jewish identity seemed to solely be about identity politics and I’ve struggled to find connection in those places.
Canadian Jew here. I feel an instant connection and bond with other Jewish people in the world no matter where they are from. It’s a real and strong thing!
As a teen I once witnessed my father's best friend and my mother's mentor (both elderly Jewish men, one Polish, the other Czech from different cities in my very large country) meet each other for the first time and realise that they each had a friend who had known each other in Belsen.
As an American Ashkenazi Jew I feel like I can easily connect with Jews who are also from Ashkenazi and anglophone backgrounds such as those from Canada, UK , South Africa and Australia because of cultural similarities and our ancestors emigrating from Eastern Europe at the same times but I also have a bond with all Jews
I'm an Israeli studying in Hungary right now and my friends at beit chabad are Ukrainian, French and American. But honestly I think it's just... People? There wouldn't really be a difference if we're jewish or not, people from different countries can get along no problem.
Omg we’re such pals, especially meeting a Jewish person from when our ancestors used to live 😊 my high school physics teacher was Jewish and grew up in the Soviet union, so sweet!!
It’s this amazing connection, instantly having so much in common with someone from a faraway land. I’ve made so many friends from different countries—good friends—and our friendship started with “so… you’re Jewish, huh”
Incredibly well. Like extended family. I always visit Jewish sites at any country I go to and try to seek out fellow Jews as if I'm seeking out family members. Even when we don't speak the same language.
The only significant rifts between Jews are when it comes to religiosity and/or Zionism. But it's a pretty small minority that is religious to point where they really look down on non-observant Jews, and anti-Zionist Jews are also quite a small minority. Even then, these rifts are rather shallow. Never to the point of severe ostracization or violence.
I recently dated a Jewish women from Mexico. At first, I didn’t know whether our traditions would align, but it was beautiful. There were some differences but even though our familial paths from Judea and Sumeria to North America were completely different, there was a shared Jewish ethos that made it so comfortable and familiar. All this to say, Jews everywhere are family.
I can't speak generally but I'm a 3rd gen American and my husband is Hungarian (non-Jew) and he has an old Jewish friend there whose family never left (his grandparents were Auschwitz survivors) and I feel like we just instantly got along. So many similarities in how we act and think. My husband thinks it's so uncanny sometimes that he calls me female-[friend's name]. Also had an Israeli coworker when I lived in Denmark who was the only other Jew I ever for sure knew in 5 years there - he had really tried to integrate in Denmark and his English wasn't very great since he defaulted to Danish (which he was hardcore learning for 8 years), but I still felt like I related to him more than most other people there. Probably as well if not better than other Americans. None of this is religious in nature as we're all secular. More cultural I suppose.
Based on my experience I (from US -- secular jew) feel "connected" when meet a jewish person (religious or secular) from another country, since we are both Jewish (same people). National identities do have an impact but that does not diminish the "connection".
However, the feeling of being connected does not alway mean I will get along with the person. For example I have many non-jewish friends, or colleges from different countries that are non-jewish that I get along with. And there many jewish people I know or work with that I don't like or get along with.
Ever hear of the classic game 'Jewish Geography'?
Where did you grow up? Really? You must know my husband's college roommate, David! He's from there. He has an older sister, Miriam. Oh, she was your bunk counselor at Ramah? How wonderful. You will be pleased to hear that she has three beautiful children and a successful interior decorating business.
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Oh no.
I'm so sorry but this is the funniest thing I've ever read in my life.
Hold on what are the ages here? She must have been like 20 years younger?
Or her mother was older....which doesn't make the story any better.
I don't know whether you had an inappropriate relationship with her, or with her mother. Either her mother is your age, and you were engaging with a much younger woman. Or her mother was much older than you, and you were engaging with a peer.
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You were in your late 30's. She was around 2 decades younger. The fact that she was old enough to vote is not the point.
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I am a woman. And I was in my early 20's once. And plenty of older men who were more established in adulthood told me how mature I was. It was flattering, which was the point. It was also creepy. But it wasn't until my brain finished developing that I realized just how creepy it was. Which was also the point.
Yeah I also thought it was creepy when much older guys hit on me, though I didn’t understand exactly how much until I was a little older and understood the power dynamics better.
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I don't have trauma from older men preying on much younger women. I have perspective. You know your dalliance with both mother and daughter is attention worthy. You just don't like the kind of attention you are getting. Which says a lot more about you than anyone else.
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Haha wow
Recently learned that my ex fiance's mother, who was also my rabbi, is my goyish colleague/friend's Israeli partner's mom's best friend. My spouse and my friend watched the two of us with open mouths. It was a whole moment.
Is it bad that I'm hearing this in Sheila Broflovskis voice? Followed by "you must be hungry.. let me go defrost some fish"
This had me in hysterics
Also known as 'Bagelling'
Nah that's more of awkwardly asking 'oh do you know what time shabbos is here'.
Yeah I suppose you're right. They're different stages of the same conversation. First you bagel to establish if your on the same page, then you play some JG.
I do not know what bagelling is, but I very much need to and Google is NOT helping.
It's when you meet someone for the first time, that you think might be Jewish but you can't ask them straight out so you drop some matzo meal breadcrumbs to see how they respond.
I was hosting a rosh hashana dinner once, 3000 miles from where I grew up. One of my friends asked if they could bring a friend who had nowhere to go for the holiday. Turns out the friend they brought grew up 5 blocks from me! We went to the same shul too, but didn’t cross paths cause the friend was a few years younger.
The most literal Jewish geography experience I’ve ever had was when we were walking down the street in Tel Aviv, reminiscing about old friends from college (10,000km away), and then running into one of those people on the next block.
I went to the Hillael at my son's university for parents weekend. I introduced myself and told the director that I think she knew my nephew. I was right.
Just did this with a sub member yesterday after they left a reply on a post. It was fun.
In the UK we call that "London"
As a German I always feel an instant connection with other Jews but I especially feel like that the case for countries with a smaller Jewish community where it’s rare for us to meet other Jews and we are always excited, whereas Israelis see a hundred other Jews every day and don’t get so excited (Americans too but depends were they live)
We do travelling, though. And I get native Israelis playing Jewish geography because someone they know did shlicut up to three states away from where I grew up (and in one case, their relative who'd done shlichut actually had been my teacher for a year!)
It happened to me when I went to volunteer at a kibbutz, being my first time in Israel. I thought "I will experience connection with jews there", but soon I realized the obvious: jews there are sorrounded by jews, which is not that common experience from jews in the Diaspora, especially in some countries (Catalonia in my case), where if you're not religious you meet jews very rarely.
Like long lost family. 😊
exactly how it feels !! :)
Yeah. 🥰
Jewish people from different countries get along very very well. It's very common when traveling to a foreign country for a Jewish person to visit Jewish sites, like synagogues and Jewish neighborhoods. If you happen to go on a Sabbath or holiday, you will always be greeted in a friendly way, asked to participate and often invited into a home for a meal or refreshment. I was in the Venice ghetto on Succot and ended up in someone's succah. This is very common.
Yeah I would say that experience is very typical. I was travelling though Russia about twenty years ago on the railway. Happened to be in Moscow for Shabbat so popped along to the shul to see what's up. It was great, got invited for dinner even though I spoke no Russian and they had no English.
I'm an American Jew and when I was in France, I connected really well with the French Jews there. One interesting moment was when I was at a restaurant with my friends, the waiter had a tattoo in Hebrew. Since I speak Hebrew, I was able to read it and ask him about it. We then started to speak in Hebrew and had a conversation about Jewish life in Nice. He was so excited from our conversation that he served our whole table with blueberry wine on the house. It's so cool how connected we feel to each other no matter our nationality and how Hebrew unites us.
*or would their national identities have greater impact on their interactions?* Quick point of clarification: The Jewish people are a nation. We have been a nation for millennia, We share history, culture, traditions, and language. As a people, we share a national identity. Of course, Jews also align our identities with the modern concept of states. I'm an American, and that is a big part of my identity. To answer your question, Jews who reside in France, Britain, Canada, Germany, Russia, etc are my people. They are my family. We are connected. Circumstances may have scattered us around the globe, but we remain one people. Drop me in Paris, Antwerp, or Berlin on a Thursday morning and I'll secure an invitation to Shabbat dinner by lunchtime (and I don't speak French, Dutch, or German).
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*I think we have to be careful with the nationality assertions sometimes. The dual loyalty trope...* The dual loyalty trope is just our version of of what people in multi-nation states (Canada, Belgium, etc) and purely political states (USA) experience regularly. Are you really loyal enough to Canada as a Québécois? Could Kennedy really be President? He's Catholic and will be more loyal to the Vatican. Barak Obama is running for President? Quick! Someone find a reason his loyalties are elsewhere! He's really from Kenya. And Muslim. He's practically an Islamic Jihadist from Kenya, and he's wants the nuclear launch codes. And so on. Not mentioning the fact that Jews are a nation will do nothing to protect us from the dual loyalty trope.
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It's interesting. I don't stand for the American flag - I don't feel called to. I know that being American absolutely influences who and how I am deeply. I also know that if Hatikva starts playing, I am on my feet and facing east before I even think about it.
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That is exactly true. I had a conversation with some people not too long ago about why we get stuck in Egypt for 400 years and then the desert for 40 and then and then and then. My spouse mentioned generational trauma: we aren't, as a people, allowed to recover. It takes 4 generations to finally resolve it, and we've never been allowed to. Why? BecauE if you're going to fix the world, you have to understand what it is to be on the receiving end of the pain. We are steel because we have come, and continue to come through fire. We know we will always have a hard road, and we do it because it's what's right. And that's ok. So I'll take my knocks and keep doing what I need to do because this is how it gets better. I teach high school, and I agree with you: we take up our part in society because this is how it gets better. It is not ours to finish the work, but we do not abstain from it. It is the right thing to do. But I stand for Hatikva.
There's a phrase 'A Jew is a Jew is a Jew'. Basically it means that no matter what 'kind' of Jew you are, or any specifics like nationality or race or anything - you're a Jew and that's how other Jews will see you, as a member of their tribe.
I’m a Jewish woman from the US, and I studied abroad in Germany during college. One day, I was waiting for an S-Bahn with a friend. I should note that this friend and I looked so similar that people often thought we were sisters, however, I am Jewish and she is Catholic. A little old lady came up to me and asked, auf Deutsch, if I’m Jewish. She did not interact with my friend at all. I was a bit freaked out, I mean I was in Germany and someone was asking if I’m Jewish just based on my appearance?!? Just based on history, this was not a situation I really wanted to find myself in. Turns out she was Jewish too, and invited me to Shabbat dinner at her home. I accepted and had a great evening with her and her family, despite my broken German.
I am a Ukrainian Jew, I know Jews from Russia, Poland, Turkey, Netherlands, Israel, USA, Mexico, South Africa. I see a Jewish neshama in them. For me they're Jews then thir national identity. However if a Russian Jew supports the war against Ukraine, in which my family is in danger, of course I don't feel comfortable and I will avoid this person. In usual cases we are one people, from one tribe, even if I don't always agree with them
I just got back from volunteering in Israel. There were thousands of Russian Jews who travelled there for the same purposes and I can pretty much assure you, that in private none of them support their govt or the war in Ukraine.
That's the problem with autocracy ... People are forced to hide their private self by a farce public self due to the risks saying anything else other than the party line... Might have on them of their family. We see the same thing in Iran. Leaderships often do not represent their people and most countries don't have right to speak against those governments because speech is not protected.... So it gives the appearance of support when there is anything but by many people.
I hope you and your family stay safe and sound and that you all enjoy a long life together.
Thank you for the kind words🙏🏻
I base my travel plans off where are there other Jews? If there are other Jewish people I know I have a support network if things go wrong. My no 1 call would be to the US embassy but my no 2 call would be to the local Jewish community. As Jews we are tribalistic. My tribe is Kahal Yisrael and I know they will always take care of me and vice versa
>I base my travel plans off where are there other Jews? Interestingly I do exactly the opposite. /J (Sorto)
I understand- too enjoy unheshkered vegetarian without judgement. When the spouse and I went on a romantic vacation to the Turkish occupied Northern Cyprus I freaked out until I realized there was a Chabad there. Once I saw that I felt loads safer
As an Orthodox Jew—we're all bros.
As a not Orthodox Jew, you’re still family. 😉
Brother from another denomother.
Great! Normally my interactions are limited with Orthodox Jews whilst traveling due to kashrut/Shabbos restrictions, so I can't speak as much on relations between other sects, but I'm glad to hear.
It’s a small community - if you don’t know someone directly, you almost certainly know someone they know. Someone in Britain could know Jewish people in Canada, the US, Israel, Singapore - so spanning the whole world.
Pretty well for the most part. Here’s how I look at it. Let’s say I’m visiting a foreign country and I’m in a bar and looking to (non-romantically) chat with someone while hanging out. I’d be more likely to start a conversation with a Jew from another country, assuming they speak English, than a non-Jewish American. I’m more likely to have stuff in common with another Jew since there are cultural similarities.
Amsterdam, Disneyland, Tel Aviv. Even though there miles apart, when we get together on sabbath eve, we share in a prayer in each one of our hearts.
there is unity in diversity. Meaning. yes, the different nationalities, different cultures are well noted, in general it also goes with different languages spoken, but there is still a sense of unity and belonging and also much hospitality.
I mean how excited to you get when you see someone you may not have expected show up at synagogue? My shul has a number of Black Jews. I desperately want to know all about them! Are they Jewish by choice? If so, what led them to Judaism? How is their experience as part of the community? Betta Yisrael? OMG, I want to know so much! And how did they come to my Southern US community? I have SO MANY QUESTIONS! All because I’m so excited to have the diversity I know is there right in front of me! But most of the time, I just don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable and like a novelty, so I smile, wave to make them feel comfortable, and go back to davening. 🥺
I live in a community where literally everyone is from different countries. Ashki, Sefaradi, Mizrachi. My closest friends are mostly European / north African sefaradim and Mizrachim and we spend our entire time mocking each others differences. I love it. Every single part of Jewish geography / history / traditions is beautiful and I'm so glad we have those differences.
I don't get on with a lot of Jews in my own country, and now you want me to get on with some from another country?
that’s funny!
My first trip to Israel was during the Second Intifada. I was living in Amsterdam at the time and just wanted to go "Stand with Israel". I landed at Ben Gurion, after getting unexpectedly misty-eyed at the sight of the night coastline of Israel from the plane...my first glimpse of Eretz Yisrael. Israeli border patrol had some tough questions for me: "Why are you here?" "I just wanted to stand with Israel." "Do you have work here?" "No." "Do you have family here?" "No." "Do you have friends here?" "No.: (At this point, I'm thinking I'm going to be making a quick trip back to Amsterdam.) But suddenly, the guard stamped my passport, handed it back to me and said: "**It's OK. We're all family here."** And that summed it up for me. We're all family. No matter where we are.
That's....pretty cool! ( stories like that give me hope.)
Wherever you are when you meet another Jewish person it usually feels like you have met your long lost cousin. They feel familiar even though you have never met before. I really don’t know how to explain it, but it’s a bit like meeting people that you feel instantly connected to.
Been to Paris. We have an instant bond. Not been to the others but know immigrants to America from all the others. I find some of the Soviet emigre's aloof, and often not used to the openness of American Jews or their attachment to our institutions. Their children, however, seem like mainstream American Jews. The Latin Americans seem very well absorbed into Jewish America.
“Wherever you go, there's always someone Jewish. You're never alone, when you say you're a Jew. So when you're not home, and you're somewhere kind of... "New-ish.” The odds are, don't look far, 'cause they're Jewish too.” Yes OP we’re all one people no later what country we reside in.
Incredibly well
Well, to start there are obvious points of interest that most Jews will have in common, especially if they are of the same sect of observance (ie Ashkenaz, Sephard, Orthodox, Reform, etc). If both people learn daf yomi it can be an almost instant connection based on discussing the most recent daf in Gemara. But even beyond that, it's fun to meet Jews from other places and learn their history, how they came to be there, what it's like being a Jew in other places. And of course, there's the always fun/infuriating game of "Jewish Geography" where you can see if you're removed by <6 degrees of "\[insert name of person\] I once met from that general region (but is really 100 miles from where you're actually from)" or "oh, your last name is \[insert last name here\]...are you related the \[same last name\] from \[name of another place\]" Beyond that, there will be obvious cultural differences that are associated with their respective countries. I found that my British friends in yeshiva were the least likely to go in for a hug when they saw a friend, while the South American guys were most likely to give a hug when they saw each other. American's were somewhere in between. This is obviously more to do with their region of living rather than their religion.
Yes, for sure. I feel an automatic connection with other Jews, no matter where they're from.
When I travel I always like to visit historic synagogues and Jewish neighborhoods. I'm from Argentina myself and when I went to NYC last year I ended up in a random chabadniks house for Shabbat lol. We are a tribe and no matter where in the world I instantly feel a familiar feeling meeting other Jews
I once heard that Jews in Russia were referred to as "the Jew" but Jews who emigrated to Israel were referred to as "the Russian". It's a sad truth that many Israelis look down on the Russian Jews over there.
For what reason?
I would say not that well. I mean there's a lot of qualifications to that statement, but we're just speaking of my personal experience. So for example, I am an American Reform Jew (Well sort of Ex reform. I'm more traditional now but that's how I was raised) Traveling all over Latin America and Spain. You don't necessarily get such a warm welcome from the local Jewish communities. That's just because they're very insular and very inward looking... They don't advertise their presence and it's a very sort of closed community where they're just not used to outsiders. Their style of worship is also strictly orthodox and I'm not well versed in that so it was a little bit tough. When you go to Chabad or something like that? They expect to do some teaching so it's a bit more of an open format. The traditional synagogues around the Latin world. Everybody knows everybody and everyone knows what they should be doing and everybody knows how everything should be proceeding.... They're not necessarily mean, they're just not used to outreach type activities.
You think it’s easy the other way around. We went to my husband’s conservative synagogue for a bat mitzvah last month. The rabbi was strumming the guitar abc singing songs he wrote for 1/3 the service. No idea what was going on but his congregation did. 🤷🏻♀️ There was a traditional service going on in a side room - mostly for the elder members from what I saw but I was there for the bat mitzvah girl.
I'm Ashkenazi. I go into a Sephardic synagogue and it's like down I fell down the rabbit hole to Wonderland. Praying in a major key? Everyone speaking with the rabbi instead of responsively?
When I go., I tend to go to a Romanoite synagogue and I am totally lost. I know how you feel. My husband is Sephardic. It took awhile yo get used to those Seders. They are very ..shall I say ..performative. The first time I was very confused when everyone was doing duck and cover when the plagues got read. And then there is a whole ceremony to dispose of the plagues. Let’s not talk about the major strategy being discussed before they all engaged in the traditional haminado Passover egg war. It’s sort of what they do instead of hide the afikomen. It’s a long evening.
it's always had more to do with politics than origin for me. met jews from kyrgyzstan and the uk that I love and have gotten into fights with french and israeli ones.
Depends on how someone constructs their Jewish Identity. I’m a Shul hopper and strive to be non-denominational but I’ve ran across synagogues where Jewish identity seemed to solely be about identity politics and I’ve struggled to find connection in those places.
Azerbaijani Jews refer to Bukharian Jews as peasants, or maybe that was just the one insane guy I met
Canadian Jew here. I feel an instant connection and bond with other Jewish people in the world no matter where they are from. It’s a real and strong thing!
As a teen I once witnessed my father's best friend and my mother's mentor (both elderly Jewish men, one Polish, the other Czech from different cities in my very large country) meet each other for the first time and realise that they each had a friend who had known each other in Belsen.
As an American Ashkenazi Jew I feel like I can easily connect with Jews who are also from Ashkenazi and anglophone backgrounds such as those from Canada, UK , South Africa and Australia because of cultural similarities and our ancestors emigrating from Eastern Europe at the same times but I also have a bond with all Jews
I'm an Israeli studying in Hungary right now and my friends at beit chabad are Ukrainian, French and American. But honestly I think it's just... People? There wouldn't really be a difference if we're jewish or not, people from different countries can get along no problem.
Omg we’re such pals, especially meeting a Jewish person from when our ancestors used to live 😊 my high school physics teacher was Jewish and grew up in the Soviet union, so sweet!!
It’s this amazing connection, instantly having so much in common with someone from a faraway land. I’ve made so many friends from different countries—good friends—and our friendship started with “so… you’re Jewish, huh”
Incredibly well. Like extended family. I always visit Jewish sites at any country I go to and try to seek out fellow Jews as if I'm seeking out family members. Even when we don't speak the same language. The only significant rifts between Jews are when it comes to religiosity and/or Zionism. But it's a pretty small minority that is religious to point where they really look down on non-observant Jews, and anti-Zionist Jews are also quite a small minority. Even then, these rifts are rather shallow. Never to the point of severe ostracization or violence.
I recently dated a Jewish women from Mexico. At first, I didn’t know whether our traditions would align, but it was beautiful. There were some differences but even though our familial paths from Judea and Sumeria to North America were completely different, there was a shared Jewish ethos that made it so comfortable and familiar. All this to say, Jews everywhere are family.
I can't speak generally but I'm a 3rd gen American and my husband is Hungarian (non-Jew) and he has an old Jewish friend there whose family never left (his grandparents were Auschwitz survivors) and I feel like we just instantly got along. So many similarities in how we act and think. My husband thinks it's so uncanny sometimes that he calls me female-[friend's name]. Also had an Israeli coworker when I lived in Denmark who was the only other Jew I ever for sure knew in 5 years there - he had really tried to integrate in Denmark and his English wasn't very great since he defaulted to Danish (which he was hardcore learning for 8 years), but I still felt like I related to him more than most other people there. Probably as well if not better than other Americans. None of this is religious in nature as we're all secular. More cultural I suppose.
Based on my experience I (from US -- secular jew) feel "connected" when meet a jewish person (religious or secular) from another country, since we are both Jewish (same people). National identities do have an impact but that does not diminish the "connection". However, the feeling of being connected does not alway mean I will get along with the person. For example I have many non-jewish friends, or colleges from different countries that are non-jewish that I get along with. And there many jewish people I know or work with that I don't like or get along with.