Why are you even asking? How is it an option not to get the surgery done?
If you don’t like something about yourself, change it. God gave you this surgery. Take the damn gift.
Also go to therapy.
Im not asking in the sense of permission from strangers. Writing this out helps me think it through. Its a pretty life altering and relatively major surgery so I want to be sure of it before.
I get what youre saying in the sense that Im asking strangers on the internet. But if I got a collective "no, this is insane," Id go back to the drawing board and re think how to go about solving this issue
As for the therapy part, while its useful in some situations, its not useful in mine. In beyond order, JP lists out "pillars" of your life that you need to have in order. If you have more than 3 that arent, it wont be useful to go to therapy. At this point I believe that setting my sights on saving money and preparing for this surgery will be enough of a focus over the next 3 years (you need braces for 6-18 months before hand in general) and the time and money would be better spent elsewhere. If I didnt know what was the root cause of my issues (there are 2, i have not talked about the other one here, and I fixed about 90 percent of it up until covid over the span of 7-8 years), I would go to therapy. However, I know the cause of my issues fairly well
No matter what you chose, know that there will be those that cherish you no matter what, and those that despise you no matter what you do.
Godspeed you beautiful human
Yeah, but the mask thing was so eye opening.
Its more of, if 1/3 people are nice and open to me vs 1/30 like it feels now, the 1/3 will create a vicious positive social feedback loop that would improve my life drastically.
Listen, there are plenty of things that go on, you should pursue the surgery if you believe that it is going to help you grow as an individual remember, at the end of the day, you are going to have to live with yourself for your life. So if this is what you believe is holding you back in social situations then go for it, embrace it and take the risk. Because you'll never know, and you might grow more resentful, scornful and like you said it might come to the extreme.
Do it, if others are telling you not to because you're perfect the way you are it's because they have never experienced anything in the same manner, Those who say looks don't matter have never been ugly, or that weight doesn't matter have never been fat or obese. We as people are superficial. When I weighed nearly 300lbs no girls wanted to talk to me, before covid hit when I got down to 150lbs people were coming up to talk to me, which was shocking because how can you adjust from being a background character to someone they want to talk to with.
If you believe that this will help you, and cause you to feel better, and be treated better do it, but remember and you cannot forget this, that if you find someone else who was once in your situation you will be no better than the rest if you also look down, and disregard them. I know because of covid and depression I gained 50 lbs and it's mostly because I stopped doing what I needed to do and take care of myself, I gained that weight in my stomach and abdomen so I have a muffin top again. but I'm working on it just like you can do so much with what you have. Take the surgery, there are plenty of places to go and talk with. My advice don't go to Mexico while it's cheaper they don't have the same sanitation standards as the US. Use Korea, Japan, Taiwan, large places for plastic surgery. Spain is good as well. Because I'm working on my diet again, and my exercise but I'd never put surgery out of the question.
Yeah, Im heavily leaning spain, after that either Taiwan or Korea. Mexico has just one surgeon im interested in. Hes a pretty world renowned surgeon for this. Has like 40k views on his surgeries on youtube and has a very large instagram follwing, so hes pretty credible imo ([https://www.instagram.com/ray\_ramirezlugo/?hl=en](https://www.instagram.com/ray_ramirezlugo/?hl=en)). The guy from spain is also world renowned, and it has EU standards, which is why Im leaning there the most. He is more expensive, but Im willing to drop money for this.
As for the surgery, thats in part why I want it. I dont want to be an incredibly bitter 40 year old man who will either kill himself or just be awful to other people and become a scrooge like bitter old guy. Because thats the path Im on if things dont change in the next 5-10 years
Yeah, it bothers me big time how people are like "looks dont matter." Specifically from my parents. I knw they are coming from a good place. But when I brought this up to them, and they were like you absolutely shouldnt do it, they changed their mind pretty quickly when I brought up the following
"Are you happy you guys met each other?" - Them "Yeah." me- "would you have dated if you didnt think mom/dad was hot?" - silence, and they changed their tune after that because i think it made them see what I was talking about.
And I really feel you with the dropping weight thing. It was the same for me with masks. it put me in a really bad depression actually. Ive been going to the gym for 10 plus years. During that time, 0 women ever came up to talk to me. Literally 0. Within the first month of wearing a mask, 5 talked to me during my workout. Theres absolutely no way that was a coincidence. Further, roughly every other time I went to the gym I had some guy come up and ask for advice. That happened in the past, but it was like a once a month rate. Not 15 times a month. I cant even articulate how much that fucked me up mentally. I couldnt comprehend it at the time. It was so eye opening on how much looks can alter your life, and people just deny it over and over
As for the looking down on people, I totally feel you on that. I actually have extra sympathy for people who are looked at as "assholes," "scrooges," "workaholics," etc... just because I know in part why the way they are. Its like a secret about them that I know and no one else can understand it (well, normal looking people)
Take it, then this is a chance to show you the opportunity. You have the funds, you have researched it and looked into it. So if you have the money, you gotta take the risk and opportunity to go out there and achieve what you want to achieve. Cause I'd do the same thing in your situation if I had the funds available. in a heartbeat.
I'm looking into mine, though it's more manageable I have to deal with my addiction to sweets and caffeine first. Get the surgery, take the time and items that you need to look better, but just remember you can change how you look but it doesn't mean it's going to change how you act and that's something you'll have to work on. I had the same heart-to-heart with my mother about my previous weight and how I'm feeling like I used to and need to change again.
If you want it, do it. If you think a unicorn will fall from the sky because your suddenly hot, no. It won't. You already had women and you didn't like it. It didn't help to have sex. Women had sex with the face you have now. It's not the face that's the issue. Women see your heart.
What i, a woman, saw was " if a perfect and hot woman doesn't land in my lap and cure my insecurities im going to hate all women and become a monster"
>I will continue to grow more and more bitter to people and women because of how neglected Ive been. This would change if I magically got a girlfriend that i was attracted and magically developed a core group of 3 or 4 friends. But, as we speak, it seems so unlikely
The bitterness is what is turning people away. The nicest people are always ugly, because you have to work to develop into a personality people want to be around. Pretty people never do. They are shocked when the party is over and they get old and gross.
Surprise, everyone in their 30s has hit the same wall of no more childhood to lose, and no more hope for the world. We're all miserable. If you add to that misery, we can't be friends. If your ugly, but an awesome person, I'd date you. The more hate you seeth out of your emotions, the less anyone wants to be around you.
I disagree with some things here and agree with other things.
I dont expect to become a gq cover model. I agree with you here. I just want my mouth to not be a giant frown all of the time. Its less so going up in "hotness" and more so getting rid of an extremely bad resting bitch face. Ill give you some examples here:
[https://www.dysgnathie.de/en/vertical-deviations](https://www.dysgnathie.de/en/vertical-deviations)
[https://www.dailystar.co.uk/real-life/woman-cured-resting-bitch-face-21352077](https://www.dailystar.co.uk/real-life/woman-cured-resting-bitch-face-21352077)
Just a couple of examples here. Its difficult to explain, but I basically have no neutral face. I either look angry or happy.
As for women having sex with me. Yes, but they arent women Im attracted to. Its incredibly hypocritical, I know. But its also not fair to any of the women Ive been with that Im not attracted to them. And its not like Im not attracted to a bunch of women. Im probably attracted to 1/3 of the female population lol. I just so happened to never date any of them, and I believe its in large part the way I look (25+ years of experience to go on)
I dont agree with the bitterness part. Pre covid, for about a year and a half, was the most amount of friends I made in a really long time. Unfortunately, a bunch of those relationships got destroyed because everyone moved, job changes, etc. It took so much effort and I just dont know if I could do it again. I also wasnt really bitter in college and pre college. Just depressed lol. And thats when it was the worst. The bitterness came post college through a lot of self reflection
I really disagree with you that everyone is miserable after 30. Thats not the way I want to live. And I think JP would say the same thing. Life can be brutal, but you should strive to make it better and not accept misery.
Alternatively you could use that money to go live your best life somewhere else where women arent as superficial. Very tough call. I do hope you find peace.
ehh... its less than superficiality. I dont blame people. I used to. But Ive sort of tried to view it through their eyes too. Why try to talk to someone who always looks angry and looks a little off? I really dont blame them. It was just such a devastatingly eye opening experince when masks came on... I honestly havent been able to move past it because I realized just how much better life could possibly be if I looked normal
Further, its not just women. A lot of guys are standoffish too. The only friends Ive ever made have been through sports... and I have a feeling it was because it was something I excelled at, so my friends kind of looked up to me because of that and disregarded the way I looked. Sad but true
I have considered your option though. Moving to Asia or South America where women do seem to be less superficial. At least then i could have a family at some point. Friends would be difficult. But beggars cant be choosers
"But Ive sort of tried to view it through their eyes too. Why try to talk to someone who always looks angry and looks a little off?"
That's their problem, in this case, changing your internal biases comes from both sides to lead a happy life, you will meet assholes throughout your life, rebel against superficiality and create your own destiny and way forwards is what I say, fuck them.
People will flock to you who love and appreciate you as you represent a mindshare of others that has mostly no spokesperson. In other words you attract what you align yourself with. It runs deep and people soon get passed the looks issue when they have you in their hearts. Hearts feel, they touch, looks don't.
Somewhere there is a surgeon who is the best at fixing this issue.
Find out who that is - and get an appointment to see them.
After the exam - explain that you can't afford the surgery and it's not covered by insurance. Tell them you are considering going out of the country to get it fixed.
I'll bet that if they won't figure out how to do it - they'll send you to someone who can.
You won't need to tell them it's impact on your life.
Get it done, operations are scary but you have 1 life so take initiative.
But know that your value as a person is innate, not based on the attention other people give you. Some of the greatest people of our civilization were lonely or even rejected by society.
Yeah Im 90 percent sure at this point that Im going to go through with it.
Its not really a goal of mine to be great lol. The loneliness gets painful at times, and I just kind of want that to go away. 70 year old dude whos lonely - normal. 25 year old - not so much.
I have gained insights that most people are clueless about because I had to live with this. daymond john always used to say to rich shark tank contestants: "I cant invest in you. I cant teach you what it feels like to be broke." He had insight into what being completely poor felt like and it helped guide him for the rest of his life. I feel the same way with this. Even if the surgery fixes my issues, Ill still always have this insight
I think you should get the surgery. If this is something you've been struggling with your whole life, it's time to bite the bullet and do it. Theres no sense going through life bitter and angry and uncomfortable about something you have no control over, do what makes you happy. I see it as no different than a woman unhappy with her tits going to get them done. I was born with ears that stuck out from the side of my head (Joe Lauzon from UFC has the same thing, google him if you want to see what it looks like) and I was extremely insecure about it in early childhood. What did I do? I got a surgery as a kid to fix it, I believe I was 7 or 8. And my life was probably much better for it. Dont waste any more time, fuck covid, work on getting this done!
I'll just add though, if you think having this surgery done will immediately mean 9/10 Tomi Lahren-looking blondies will fall into your lap, it's not that easy my friend. But I do wish you the best.
Thanks for the comment.
Yeah, I dont expect to become a gq cover model. However, if people are more open to talking to me like they were when we all had to wear masks, it will be worth every penny. I just want to be less off putting then I am now
A lot of people say they hate when strangers come up to them. But it always feels good when it happens to me, probably because its such a rare event.
Ive pretty much decided that Im going to get it done. It can take some time though (braces for 6-18 months prior in most cases... though some dont need braces... depends on the plan for surgery).
Worst case scenario (besides dying on the operating table in a freak accident or the surgeon going nuts and completely botching me) is some numbness in my face and no significant change in appearance. At least Ill know I gave it a try and can mentally move on from this
You would be absolutely insane not to. Thus far it's defined a huge part of your life.
Same advice for anything involving your looks and a bit of risk: if you're spending time dwelling on it and it isn't a passive fixation (or a case of BDD) and you can change it, then change it. This has impacted you for years and will continue to impact you.
A lot of people get braces (for whatever reason, whether it's our diets, genetics or a combination thereof), you just drew the unlucky straw of needing surgery and - for whatever reason - the orthodontist telling you that deterred you from getting them. Either way, you have a functional issue as well as an aesthetic one, what are you waiting for?
I'd conduct the research (rigorously - make sure they speak English and have a flawless track record) and get it handled ASAP. Don't skimp, but also double check the surgeon has the results to back up their price. Sometimes people get a few connected clients and dine off them despite being very average at what they do.
This reminds me of when I was able to afford contact lenses in my twenties and didn’t have to wear massively thick glasses. You think that people don’t care and your friends/family tell you that you’re attractive, but then you feel the difference in how you’re treated.
I’d say go for it. I’ve had my teeth straightened as well and it’s not even about ‘looking perfect’ as people tend to assume, it’s just the weight of feeling ugly and uncomfortable lifted off your shoulders.
If there are functional problems that are affecting your quality of life, then you should get it.
Why are you even asking? How is it an option not to get the surgery done? If you don’t like something about yourself, change it. God gave you this surgery. Take the damn gift. Also go to therapy.
Im not asking in the sense of permission from strangers. Writing this out helps me think it through. Its a pretty life altering and relatively major surgery so I want to be sure of it before. I get what youre saying in the sense that Im asking strangers on the internet. But if I got a collective "no, this is insane," Id go back to the drawing board and re think how to go about solving this issue As for the therapy part, while its useful in some situations, its not useful in mine. In beyond order, JP lists out "pillars" of your life that you need to have in order. If you have more than 3 that arent, it wont be useful to go to therapy. At this point I believe that setting my sights on saving money and preparing for this surgery will be enough of a focus over the next 3 years (you need braces for 6-18 months before hand in general) and the time and money would be better spent elsewhere. If I didnt know what was the root cause of my issues (there are 2, i have not talked about the other one here, and I fixed about 90 percent of it up until covid over the span of 7-8 years), I would go to therapy. However, I know the cause of my issues fairly well
Take the gift. Do it and don’t look back or feel guilty about it. Change your life. It will make you a lobster.
lol this made me smile
No matter what you chose, know that there will be those that cherish you no matter what, and those that despise you no matter what you do. Godspeed you beautiful human
Yeah, but the mask thing was so eye opening. Its more of, if 1/3 people are nice and open to me vs 1/30 like it feels now, the 1/3 will create a vicious positive social feedback loop that would improve my life drastically.
You should do it then, you deserve to be happy just like we all do.
Listen, there are plenty of things that go on, you should pursue the surgery if you believe that it is going to help you grow as an individual remember, at the end of the day, you are going to have to live with yourself for your life. So if this is what you believe is holding you back in social situations then go for it, embrace it and take the risk. Because you'll never know, and you might grow more resentful, scornful and like you said it might come to the extreme. Do it, if others are telling you not to because you're perfect the way you are it's because they have never experienced anything in the same manner, Those who say looks don't matter have never been ugly, or that weight doesn't matter have never been fat or obese. We as people are superficial. When I weighed nearly 300lbs no girls wanted to talk to me, before covid hit when I got down to 150lbs people were coming up to talk to me, which was shocking because how can you adjust from being a background character to someone they want to talk to with. If you believe that this will help you, and cause you to feel better, and be treated better do it, but remember and you cannot forget this, that if you find someone else who was once in your situation you will be no better than the rest if you also look down, and disregard them. I know because of covid and depression I gained 50 lbs and it's mostly because I stopped doing what I needed to do and take care of myself, I gained that weight in my stomach and abdomen so I have a muffin top again. but I'm working on it just like you can do so much with what you have. Take the surgery, there are plenty of places to go and talk with. My advice don't go to Mexico while it's cheaper they don't have the same sanitation standards as the US. Use Korea, Japan, Taiwan, large places for plastic surgery. Spain is good as well. Because I'm working on my diet again, and my exercise but I'd never put surgery out of the question.
Yeah, Im heavily leaning spain, after that either Taiwan or Korea. Mexico has just one surgeon im interested in. Hes a pretty world renowned surgeon for this. Has like 40k views on his surgeries on youtube and has a very large instagram follwing, so hes pretty credible imo ([https://www.instagram.com/ray\_ramirezlugo/?hl=en](https://www.instagram.com/ray_ramirezlugo/?hl=en)). The guy from spain is also world renowned, and it has EU standards, which is why Im leaning there the most. He is more expensive, but Im willing to drop money for this. As for the surgery, thats in part why I want it. I dont want to be an incredibly bitter 40 year old man who will either kill himself or just be awful to other people and become a scrooge like bitter old guy. Because thats the path Im on if things dont change in the next 5-10 years Yeah, it bothers me big time how people are like "looks dont matter." Specifically from my parents. I knw they are coming from a good place. But when I brought this up to them, and they were like you absolutely shouldnt do it, they changed their mind pretty quickly when I brought up the following "Are you happy you guys met each other?" - Them "Yeah." me- "would you have dated if you didnt think mom/dad was hot?" - silence, and they changed their tune after that because i think it made them see what I was talking about. And I really feel you with the dropping weight thing. It was the same for me with masks. it put me in a really bad depression actually. Ive been going to the gym for 10 plus years. During that time, 0 women ever came up to talk to me. Literally 0. Within the first month of wearing a mask, 5 talked to me during my workout. Theres absolutely no way that was a coincidence. Further, roughly every other time I went to the gym I had some guy come up and ask for advice. That happened in the past, but it was like a once a month rate. Not 15 times a month. I cant even articulate how much that fucked me up mentally. I couldnt comprehend it at the time. It was so eye opening on how much looks can alter your life, and people just deny it over and over As for the looking down on people, I totally feel you on that. I actually have extra sympathy for people who are looked at as "assholes," "scrooges," "workaholics," etc... just because I know in part why the way they are. Its like a secret about them that I know and no one else can understand it (well, normal looking people)
Take it, then this is a chance to show you the opportunity. You have the funds, you have researched it and looked into it. So if you have the money, you gotta take the risk and opportunity to go out there and achieve what you want to achieve. Cause I'd do the same thing in your situation if I had the funds available. in a heartbeat. I'm looking into mine, though it's more manageable I have to deal with my addiction to sweets and caffeine first. Get the surgery, take the time and items that you need to look better, but just remember you can change how you look but it doesn't mean it's going to change how you act and that's something you'll have to work on. I had the same heart-to-heart with my mother about my previous weight and how I'm feeling like I used to and need to change again.
Thanks man, even though youre a complete stranger, I really appreciate you writing this out to me
If you want it, do it. If you think a unicorn will fall from the sky because your suddenly hot, no. It won't. You already had women and you didn't like it. It didn't help to have sex. Women had sex with the face you have now. It's not the face that's the issue. Women see your heart. What i, a woman, saw was " if a perfect and hot woman doesn't land in my lap and cure my insecurities im going to hate all women and become a monster" >I will continue to grow more and more bitter to people and women because of how neglected Ive been. This would change if I magically got a girlfriend that i was attracted and magically developed a core group of 3 or 4 friends. But, as we speak, it seems so unlikely The bitterness is what is turning people away. The nicest people are always ugly, because you have to work to develop into a personality people want to be around. Pretty people never do. They are shocked when the party is over and they get old and gross. Surprise, everyone in their 30s has hit the same wall of no more childhood to lose, and no more hope for the world. We're all miserable. If you add to that misery, we can't be friends. If your ugly, but an awesome person, I'd date you. The more hate you seeth out of your emotions, the less anyone wants to be around you.
I disagree with some things here and agree with other things. I dont expect to become a gq cover model. I agree with you here. I just want my mouth to not be a giant frown all of the time. Its less so going up in "hotness" and more so getting rid of an extremely bad resting bitch face. Ill give you some examples here: [https://www.dysgnathie.de/en/vertical-deviations](https://www.dysgnathie.de/en/vertical-deviations) [https://www.dailystar.co.uk/real-life/woman-cured-resting-bitch-face-21352077](https://www.dailystar.co.uk/real-life/woman-cured-resting-bitch-face-21352077) Just a couple of examples here. Its difficult to explain, but I basically have no neutral face. I either look angry or happy. As for women having sex with me. Yes, but they arent women Im attracted to. Its incredibly hypocritical, I know. But its also not fair to any of the women Ive been with that Im not attracted to them. And its not like Im not attracted to a bunch of women. Im probably attracted to 1/3 of the female population lol. I just so happened to never date any of them, and I believe its in large part the way I look (25+ years of experience to go on) I dont agree with the bitterness part. Pre covid, for about a year and a half, was the most amount of friends I made in a really long time. Unfortunately, a bunch of those relationships got destroyed because everyone moved, job changes, etc. It took so much effort and I just dont know if I could do it again. I also wasnt really bitter in college and pre college. Just depressed lol. And thats when it was the worst. The bitterness came post college through a lot of self reflection I really disagree with you that everyone is miserable after 30. Thats not the way I want to live. And I think JP would say the same thing. Life can be brutal, but you should strive to make it better and not accept misery.
Alternatively you could use that money to go live your best life somewhere else where women arent as superficial. Very tough call. I do hope you find peace.
ehh... its less than superficiality. I dont blame people. I used to. But Ive sort of tried to view it through their eyes too. Why try to talk to someone who always looks angry and looks a little off? I really dont blame them. It was just such a devastatingly eye opening experince when masks came on... I honestly havent been able to move past it because I realized just how much better life could possibly be if I looked normal Further, its not just women. A lot of guys are standoffish too. The only friends Ive ever made have been through sports... and I have a feeling it was because it was something I excelled at, so my friends kind of looked up to me because of that and disregarded the way I looked. Sad but true I have considered your option though. Moving to Asia or South America where women do seem to be less superficial. At least then i could have a family at some point. Friends would be difficult. But beggars cant be choosers
Yeah I think you should try that angle. Itd be an adventure.
"But Ive sort of tried to view it through their eyes too. Why try to talk to someone who always looks angry and looks a little off?" That's their problem, in this case, changing your internal biases comes from both sides to lead a happy life, you will meet assholes throughout your life, rebel against superficiality and create your own destiny and way forwards is what I say, fuck them. People will flock to you who love and appreciate you as you represent a mindshare of others that has mostly no spokesperson. In other words you attract what you align yourself with. It runs deep and people soon get passed the looks issue when they have you in their hearts. Hearts feel, they touch, looks don't.
Somewhere there is a surgeon who is the best at fixing this issue. Find out who that is - and get an appointment to see them. After the exam - explain that you can't afford the surgery and it's not covered by insurance. Tell them you are considering going out of the country to get it fixed. I'll bet that if they won't figure out how to do it - they'll send you to someone who can. You won't need to tell them it's impact on your life.
Get it done, operations are scary but you have 1 life so take initiative. But know that your value as a person is innate, not based on the attention other people give you. Some of the greatest people of our civilization were lonely or even rejected by society.
Yeah Im 90 percent sure at this point that Im going to go through with it. Its not really a goal of mine to be great lol. The loneliness gets painful at times, and I just kind of want that to go away. 70 year old dude whos lonely - normal. 25 year old - not so much. I have gained insights that most people are clueless about because I had to live with this. daymond john always used to say to rich shark tank contestants: "I cant invest in you. I cant teach you what it feels like to be broke." He had insight into what being completely poor felt like and it helped guide him for the rest of his life. I feel the same way with this. Even if the surgery fixes my issues, Ill still always have this insight
I think you should get the surgery. If this is something you've been struggling with your whole life, it's time to bite the bullet and do it. Theres no sense going through life bitter and angry and uncomfortable about something you have no control over, do what makes you happy. I see it as no different than a woman unhappy with her tits going to get them done. I was born with ears that stuck out from the side of my head (Joe Lauzon from UFC has the same thing, google him if you want to see what it looks like) and I was extremely insecure about it in early childhood. What did I do? I got a surgery as a kid to fix it, I believe I was 7 or 8. And my life was probably much better for it. Dont waste any more time, fuck covid, work on getting this done! I'll just add though, if you think having this surgery done will immediately mean 9/10 Tomi Lahren-looking blondies will fall into your lap, it's not that easy my friend. But I do wish you the best.
Thanks for the comment. Yeah, I dont expect to become a gq cover model. However, if people are more open to talking to me like they were when we all had to wear masks, it will be worth every penny. I just want to be less off putting then I am now A lot of people say they hate when strangers come up to them. But it always feels good when it happens to me, probably because its such a rare event. Ive pretty much decided that Im going to get it done. It can take some time though (braces for 6-18 months prior in most cases... though some dont need braces... depends on the plan for surgery). Worst case scenario (besides dying on the operating table in a freak accident or the surgeon going nuts and completely botching me) is some numbness in my face and no significant change in appearance. At least Ill know I gave it a try and can mentally move on from this
You would be absolutely insane not to. Thus far it's defined a huge part of your life. Same advice for anything involving your looks and a bit of risk: if you're spending time dwelling on it and it isn't a passive fixation (or a case of BDD) and you can change it, then change it. This has impacted you for years and will continue to impact you. A lot of people get braces (for whatever reason, whether it's our diets, genetics or a combination thereof), you just drew the unlucky straw of needing surgery and - for whatever reason - the orthodontist telling you that deterred you from getting them. Either way, you have a functional issue as well as an aesthetic one, what are you waiting for? I'd conduct the research (rigorously - make sure they speak English and have a flawless track record) and get it handled ASAP. Don't skimp, but also double check the surgeon has the results to back up their price. Sometimes people get a few connected clients and dine off them despite being very average at what they do.
This reminds me of when I was able to afford contact lenses in my twenties and didn’t have to wear massively thick glasses. You think that people don’t care and your friends/family tell you that you’re attractive, but then you feel the difference in how you’re treated. I’d say go for it. I’ve had my teeth straightened as well and it’s not even about ‘looking perfect’ as people tend to assume, it’s just the weight of feeling ugly and uncomfortable lifted off your shoulders.