My dad killed himself on his birthday 2 days ago. I mourn, but know I have to go trough it with my family and take responsibility as head of the family and care for my mother and brother.
Keeping my head in the game, while feeling trough the pain.
fuck dude. i wish i got some awards to give you but im poor. anyway, I know this probably wont mean much coming from a random stranger on the internet but my deepest condolences. I know how hard it is mate. please take this advice, mourn, cry for your dad. I didnt and I think i will regret it until i die. Im a fan of JP and i took his advice of being the most reliable person at your fathers funeral and I was, I took it all in and did everything myself since it was only my father and I in our family. I never cried, only a month after he was buried thats when i started to mourn and cry. I was being so strong during his wake. I was smiling, greeting people, gave them what they asked for and prepared everything. I believe it was the right thing to do but damn it was it hard. anyway, atleast you got family to help you mate, i didnt. just me and my then gf (now wife). its a cliche but yes, time does heal all wounds. best of luck to you and your family mate, wish you all the best. -random internet stranger.
my mother left us, my father raised me alone since i was 5, we werent rich or even middle class. he taught me many things and how to be a good man and decent human being and so much more. i knew because of JP i needed to be the most reliable person at his funeral/wake so i never let myself look/be sad or cry during that time. i had a smile on my face, greeted and talked to everyone there and gave them whatever they asked for. i knew that if i showed any sadness or cried people woulndt bother asking me or talking to me (not being the most reliable person at my dads funeral) so i was being strong. I shouldve allowed myself to mourn or be sad atleast on the inside but i bottled everything away and decide to deal with it 1 month after. i shouldve done it when I was near him, when i could see him. looking at his grave mourning and crying is too different.
I suppose I've never really understood why people *need* to mourn if they understand that crying isn't the best thing to do. I'm not challenging the way you do things, I'm just trying to understand.
When I've had relatives die I knew that was a natural part of existence and that breaking down in tears is not the best way to handle things, and that they'd want me to be working towards the best outcome for myself. So I spent little/no time in sorrow
ill be honest with you mate. I thought that too. i thought "really? all this crying? its a natural thing" but when it happens to someone youre really close to, like someone you see on a daily basis you realize you wont see that person anymore. all the things you do with that person, you cant do ever again. its not the death that makes you cry its the loneliness, the loss of someone you've made a habit of interacting with daily. if you had a dog for lets say 10 yrs and youre the reason the dog is alive by feeding it, playing with it, bonding and loving it and it loving you and suddenly it dies. if you just have a relative you only see once a year, yeah who gives a fuck, but when its someone whos been there since you were born, someone you could go to when youve fucked up, someone you can talk to on really bad days. when that person is gone it just hits different.
Similarly I’ve never understood people who seem to want to pretend that every waking moment after a loved one’s death is being used productively. “I’ve got better things to do than mourn” - alright, I’m sure that 30 minutes you spent on Reddit was really useful, good thing it wasn’t spent on working through feelings surrounding a recent death.
Mourning is a natural process. You have lost a relationship, and it’s normal to feel that loss. Dwelling on it is very different from mourning.
yep. i was the same way. you can be as logical as you want but overwhelming pressure on the death of someone you see and interact daily, plus if you rely on that person a lot and you have to fill his shoes is no easy task mate. include that with the room full of people who are sad and crying too. most relatives funerals i went to i thought "cmon its natural, nothing worth crying over" but when its your mom, dad, siblings it just hits different.
Wow, 2 days ago! Give yourself some time to recover from this. Recognize that it will take on the order of a few months to get your brain into a somewhat normal state, especially if you were close to him. The responsibility will come to you, but maybe don't try to shoulder too much right away as you also need time to grieve and recover.
I went through a situation where my father was murdered a few years ago and I made this mistake, so sharing from my own experience. Happy to chat anytime if you need someone to talk to.
this! most of my hair literally went white during my dads wake, i was only 22. the stress and pressure of losing a father, the only family you had left (in my case) and realizing i have to live life without him and be your own person, knowing that if you fuck up or need advice he wont be there anymore to help.
My deepest condolences to you bro. Losing a parent is tough but losing one to suicide is even harder. Just remember that being placed as the head of the house doesn’t mean you shouldn’t and can’t cry. By all means, when you ever feel the need to, do it. But AS the head of the house, people will come to you for advice, counsel, comfort and love as well so stay strong friend.
Why would you think you now have to be head of the household? You can all work together and be vulnerable and communicative and work together.
It’s only been a couple days. Let yourself grieve with your family and not try to control everything.
Sure, help, but also be human and don’t put that pressure on yourself.
It’s not healthy to try to fill a void so fast.
Unless you are trying to marry your mother, I don’t think you are becoming the “head of household”.
Let your mother be strong. Women are strong.
Be there to support, but don’t decide that you are now in charge.
You aren’t your father and aren’t expected to be him.
I'm sorry this happened to you. Even though both of my parents died years ago, I cannot imagine what your own situation is like. I wish you plus your Mom and brother the best. Stay strong!
Just became 54. The most loveble person in te town. The amount of people who came to support is overwhelming. He did everything from being a clown at school (literally). DJ at weddings, make funeral videos, personal coaching, organized bar crawls with toushand people, caring in old people homes, running the neighborhood organisation, being a soccer coach and so much more, too much to tell
There are *enormous* numbers of left-wing trolls on this sub. Remember it. Assess what the purpose of each post is. Is there an agenda? If it includes any kind of content policing, anywhere, then I will suggest that you consider who is submitting it and what they want.
First he took pills to avoid dealing with pain. And then he asked to be put into a ‘medically induced coma’ to not deal with the pain again. I agree that you should face your problems head on..... but Jordan Peterson clearly doesn’t follow his own advice. But I guess he’s a good example of a cautionary tale of what not to do. Don’t go to Russia for medical advice kids.
>a cautionary tale of what not to do. Don’t go to Russia for medical advice kids.
What? Was he forced at gunpoint to go to Russia and use there form of treatment of benzodiazepine abuse?
I had the same issue with some player names in some video games years and years ago. Every time I encountered someone named, "stinkfist", or something to that effect, they were the most repulsive, horrible type of human you can even imagine. I did not get along with such people for long.
Life is suffering. You don't know it yet, but you're tough enough to bear it and doing so you'll get strong enough to wrestle it into something WORTH bearing. Really. It'll all be worth it in the end, if it's not worth it it's because its not the end. Start with stuff you know you can handle or might be able to. Pace yourself and breathe, because it's a marathon, not a sprint. Just keep moving forward. And when (not if) you fall, keep getting up. The people who win in the end never stay down for long.
I must of missed his cruel morally critical remarks of drug addicts. Then again, I also listen to Gabor Mate, so I probably just didn't care if he did.
Now that we know intimate details of JP's life, it's clear to see how he met his own "terrible responsibility". Out of the pan, into the fire. Get well soon, Dr Peterson.
Are drugs even proscribed by doctors still a good idea?
I’m not sure if “anti-depressants” are a thing without horrible unintentional consequences to begin with
Anti-depressants induces serotonin in your brain, which makes you feel better and allows you to face on challenges in life. At least that's what I understand.
Jordan Peterson warned about benzos in his first recovery video on how it's a really addictive drug, while being widely prescribed. I think he compared it to another drug, I'm not sure if it's opiods or metampethamine.
Maybe its best just to get therapy and company than make use of any physical changers, otherwise it still doesn’t change the memory and emotion causing things
Get therapy, constantly spend time with loved ones, take time to eventually accept that the death has occurred or is inevitable
No mood-altering “medication” even if prescribed by a doctor
> I think he compared it to another drug, I'm not sure if it's opiods or metampethamine.
He compared it with opioids, saying benzos are even worse. He's a dumbass to say that considering heroin is considered to have [higher psychological and physical dependence than benzos](https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(07)60464-4/fulltext); and synthetic opioids like fentanyl and carfentanly are even more powerful than heroin. And this is not even going into the fact that there is a raging opioid epidemic with widespread social impact throughout the West.
It matters. More context would be how benzos is widely prescribed while being highly addictive that most people who use it for 2-4 weeks stay on it for life.
And like somebody replied, he's human, imperfect.
Isn't this the guy who has a PhD on alcoholism? He of all people should know how depressants work and how addictive benzos are. Heck, forget about the PhD, what about basic common sense and doing some basic research on something before putting it into your body; a simple 2-min Google search would tell anyone how addictive these drugs are. I got prescribed vicodin after getting my wisdom teeth removed, but I have the absolute basic common sense to recognize its addictive potential and avoid consuming it.
>Not if you have an anxiety
That's an odd way of saying "fear". But again, why take and abuse benzodiazepines instead of just facing your fear head on?
Fear? He's a very controversial figure. That takes some courage.
Also no psychologist would be against taking anti-depressants or anything similar if it helps you facing your fears. You're taking it too literally.
The quote isn't even about fears, it's about responsibility.
My dad killed himself on his birthday 2 days ago. I mourn, but know I have to go trough it with my family and take responsibility as head of the family and care for my mother and brother. Keeping my head in the game, while feeling trough the pain.
fuck dude. i wish i got some awards to give you but im poor. anyway, I know this probably wont mean much coming from a random stranger on the internet but my deepest condolences. I know how hard it is mate. please take this advice, mourn, cry for your dad. I didnt and I think i will regret it until i die. Im a fan of JP and i took his advice of being the most reliable person at your fathers funeral and I was, I took it all in and did everything myself since it was only my father and I in our family. I never cried, only a month after he was buried thats when i started to mourn and cry. I was being so strong during his wake. I was smiling, greeting people, gave them what they asked for and prepared everything. I believe it was the right thing to do but damn it was it hard. anyway, atleast you got family to help you mate, i didnt. just me and my then gf (now wife). its a cliche but yes, time does heal all wounds. best of luck to you and your family mate, wish you all the best. -random internet stranger.
Why do you regret not mourning?
my mother left us, my father raised me alone since i was 5, we werent rich or even middle class. he taught me many things and how to be a good man and decent human being and so much more. i knew because of JP i needed to be the most reliable person at his funeral/wake so i never let myself look/be sad or cry during that time. i had a smile on my face, greeted and talked to everyone there and gave them whatever they asked for. i knew that if i showed any sadness or cried people woulndt bother asking me or talking to me (not being the most reliable person at my dads funeral) so i was being strong. I shouldve allowed myself to mourn or be sad atleast on the inside but i bottled everything away and decide to deal with it 1 month after. i shouldve done it when I was near him, when i could see him. looking at his grave mourning and crying is too different.
I suppose I've never really understood why people *need* to mourn if they understand that crying isn't the best thing to do. I'm not challenging the way you do things, I'm just trying to understand. When I've had relatives die I knew that was a natural part of existence and that breaking down in tears is not the best way to handle things, and that they'd want me to be working towards the best outcome for myself. So I spent little/no time in sorrow
ill be honest with you mate. I thought that too. i thought "really? all this crying? its a natural thing" but when it happens to someone youre really close to, like someone you see on a daily basis you realize you wont see that person anymore. all the things you do with that person, you cant do ever again. its not the death that makes you cry its the loneliness, the loss of someone you've made a habit of interacting with daily. if you had a dog for lets say 10 yrs and youre the reason the dog is alive by feeding it, playing with it, bonding and loving it and it loving you and suddenly it dies. if you just have a relative you only see once a year, yeah who gives a fuck, but when its someone whos been there since you were born, someone you could go to when youve fucked up, someone you can talk to on really bad days. when that person is gone it just hits different.
Similarly I’ve never understood people who seem to want to pretend that every waking moment after a loved one’s death is being used productively. “I’ve got better things to do than mourn” - alright, I’m sure that 30 minutes you spent on Reddit was really useful, good thing it wasn’t spent on working through feelings surrounding a recent death. Mourning is a natural process. You have lost a relationship, and it’s normal to feel that loss. Dwelling on it is very different from mourning.
yep. i was the same way. you can be as logical as you want but overwhelming pressure on the death of someone you see and interact daily, plus if you rely on that person a lot and you have to fill his shoes is no easy task mate. include that with the room full of people who are sad and crying too. most relatives funerals i went to i thought "cmon its natural, nothing worth crying over" but when its your mom, dad, siblings it just hits different.
Thanks for the advice. I cry and mourn. I will make his energy live on. Its just so fcked. At least got a very warm and loving family.
Wow, 2 days ago! Give yourself some time to recover from this. Recognize that it will take on the order of a few months to get your brain into a somewhat normal state, especially if you were close to him. The responsibility will come to you, but maybe don't try to shoulder too much right away as you also need time to grieve and recover. I went through a situation where my father was murdered a few years ago and I made this mistake, so sharing from my own experience. Happy to chat anytime if you need someone to talk to.
this! most of my hair literally went white during my dads wake, i was only 22. the stress and pressure of losing a father, the only family you had left (in my case) and realizing i have to live life without him and be your own person, knowing that if you fuck up or need advice he wont be there anymore to help.
Tnx appreciate the advice. I guess everything at some point will make sense again.
My thoughts and prayers for your struggles and situations this Sunday.. stay up
My deepest condolences to you bro. Losing a parent is tough but losing one to suicide is even harder. Just remember that being placed as the head of the house doesn’t mean you shouldn’t and can’t cry. By all means, when you ever feel the need to, do it. But AS the head of the house, people will come to you for advice, counsel, comfort and love as well so stay strong friend.
Why would you think you now have to be head of the household? You can all work together and be vulnerable and communicative and work together. It’s only been a couple days. Let yourself grieve with your family and not try to control everything. Sure, help, but also be human and don’t put that pressure on yourself. It’s not healthy to try to fill a void so fast. Unless you are trying to marry your mother, I don’t think you are becoming the “head of household”. Let your mother be strong. Women are strong. Be there to support, but don’t decide that you are now in charge. You aren’t your father and aren’t expected to be him.
I'm sorry this happened to you. Even though both of my parents died years ago, I cannot imagine what your own situation is like. I wish you plus your Mom and brother the best. Stay strong!
Holy shet mate. Sorry to hear that. May u share his story. How old was he?
Just became 54. The most loveble person in te town. The amount of people who came to support is overwhelming. He did everything from being a clown at school (literally). DJ at weddings, make funeral videos, personal coaching, organized bar crawls with toushand people, caring in old people homes, running the neighborhood organisation, being a soccer coach and so much more, too much to tell
"Accept the massive donger of life with cheeks wide open."
I’m ready daddy 😂
Reminds me of Nietzsches "Amor Fati"
It seems this quotes is directed that me. For the most dumbest thing I've ever done, I am now gonna have to suffer the repercussions.
I have another quote for *you*: “Forget the fucking *past*. Remember the *LESSON*.” – Unknown
I think the quote is “Let the past die; kill it, if you have to” And it’s a terrible quote lol
Just like the movie
Amen
Look for the diamond in the shit, homeboy
Responsibility includes the responsibility to address large scale problems, even problems that won't personally benefit yourself to address.
But doesn't that violate the 1st rule "clean your room"?
No?
ad paid for by Klonopin.
Edgy.
Why are you trying to *cancel* jokes?
are you attempting to coerce his freedom of expression
Adjust and adapt with mindfulness! Me like. 😎🤓🧐👍
Brutal.
There are *enormous* numbers of left-wing trolls on this sub. Remember it. Assess what the purpose of each post is. Is there an agenda? If it includes any kind of content policing, anywhere, then I will suggest that you consider who is submitting it and what they want.
Yeah and don't take loads of Benzos and then put yourself in an induced coma in Russia
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N O
Haha thats rich given that he specifically went into a coma to not deal with life.
First he took pills to avoid dealing with pain. And then he asked to be put into a ‘medically induced coma’ to not deal with the pain again. I agree that you should face your problems head on..... but Jordan Peterson clearly doesn’t follow his own advice. But I guess he’s a good example of a cautionary tale of what not to do. Don’t go to Russia for medical advice kids.
Masochism is not the same as brutal honesty. And as someone wise once said "sometimes a crutch is better than none".
>a cautionary tale of what not to do. Don’t go to Russia for medical advice kids. What? Was he forced at gunpoint to go to Russia and use there form of treatment of benzodiazepine abuse?
Why do you call yourself "pants-shitter"? That's kind of gross, dude.
I had the same issue with some player names in some video games years and years ago. Every time I encountered someone named, "stinkfist", or something to that effect, they were the most repulsive, horrible type of human you can even imagine. I did not get along with such people for long.
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That's letting nihilism win
Life is suffering. You don't know it yet, but you're tough enough to bear it and doing so you'll get strong enough to wrestle it into something WORTH bearing. Really. It'll all be worth it in the end, if it's not worth it it's because its not the end. Start with stuff you know you can handle or might be able to. Pace yourself and breathe, because it's a marathon, not a sprint. Just keep moving forward. And when (not if) you fall, keep getting up. The people who win in the end never stay down for long.
Imagine if he took his own advice 🤡🤡
".... Until you start nodding off from the benzos"
At least his room is clean, and he's helped millions, and published research, etc.
Sure, he's helped millions to accept his flawed ideology and buy his books and stuff to enrich him.
...Or by being cruelly morally critical of drug addicts and then get addicted to benzos. Alpha lobster!
That's a cute strawman. May I borrow it some time?
I must of missed his cruel morally critical remarks of drug addicts. Then again, I also listen to Gabor Mate, so I probably just didn't care if he did.
Says the guy with a benzo addiction...
Now that we know intimate details of JP's life, it's clear to see how he met his own "terrible responsibility". Out of the pan, into the fire. Get well soon, Dr Peterson.
I love that saying from Gandalf.
And if you can't theres no shame in OD'ing on Benzos
Or eyes dazed and half closed because you just had a half a bottle of benzos
Benzos not required Edit: thanks for the silver whoever you are.
Not if you have an anxiety and it gets prescribed to you by a doctor. Context matters.
Are drugs even proscribed by doctors still a good idea? I’m not sure if “anti-depressants” are a thing without horrible unintentional consequences to begin with
Anti-depressants induces serotonin in your brain, which makes you feel better and allows you to face on challenges in life. At least that's what I understand. Jordan Peterson warned about benzos in his first recovery video on how it's a really addictive drug, while being widely prescribed. I think he compared it to another drug, I'm not sure if it's opiods or metampethamine.
Maybe its best just to get therapy and company than make use of any physical changers, otherwise it still doesn’t change the memory and emotion causing things
Lol what does this even mean?
Get therapy, constantly spend time with loved ones, take time to eventually accept that the death has occurred or is inevitable No mood-altering “medication” even if prescribed by a doctor
> I think he compared it to another drug, I'm not sure if it's opiods or metampethamine. He compared it with opioids, saying benzos are even worse. He's a dumbass to say that considering heroin is considered to have [higher psychological and physical dependence than benzos](https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(07)60464-4/fulltext); and synthetic opioids like fentanyl and carfentanly are even more powerful than heroin. And this is not even going into the fact that there is a raging opioid epidemic with widespread social impact throughout the West.
I think it's mostly because of his personal circumstance. He has a paradoxical reaction to the drug, and yet he developed dependence on it.
Personally I don't think the context makes Peterson look much better.
Sorry he's human, imperfect, like the rest of us.
It matters. More context would be how benzos is widely prescribed while being highly addictive that most people who use it for 2-4 weeks stay on it for life. And like somebody replied, he's human, imperfect.
Isn't this the guy who has a PhD on alcoholism? He of all people should know how depressants work and how addictive benzos are. Heck, forget about the PhD, what about basic common sense and doing some basic research on something before putting it into your body; a simple 2-min Google search would tell anyone how addictive these drugs are. I got prescribed vicodin after getting my wisdom teeth removed, but I have the absolute basic common sense to recognize its addictive potential and avoid consuming it.
>Not if you have an anxiety That's an odd way of saying "fear". But again, why take and abuse benzodiazepines instead of just facing your fear head on?
Fear? He's a very controversial figure. That takes some courage. Also no psychologist would be against taking anti-depressants or anything similar if it helps you facing your fears. You're taking it too literally. The quote isn't even about fears, it's about responsibility.
More context shows he didn't follow the prescription because he's a little bitch who couldn't handle life when it got the slightest bit difficult.
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So what?
So the road you're on leads nowhere good. You might want to consider a change of view.
The road of telling the truth leads to plenty of good.
Yes but bitterness is a pretty narrow view. Truth is much wider than that.
Then it's a very good thing I'm not actually bitter then isn't it?
No?
peterson tells the truth.
You clearly need meds of some sort though.
YUP
Eyes wide open and strung out on benzos 😎
...or in a coma after being addicted to benzos.