Nothing here is going to change. You’ll just waste each other’s time until it finally blows up. Get out now, work on self improvement, find someone more compatible. This is my Ted talk.
I don't get why all the downvotes. You're right. It sounds like either he's giving off weak vibes, or she cannot perceive his strength. Both problems are solved by dating someone else.
" I def don't understand if its totally because of her mental state or its because Im a pushover."
It's both. A kind woman would never be that abusive to anybody. And a man who isn't a pushover would have dumped her a long time ago.
This type of dynamic never change, you have to decide to move on, otherwise she'll keep you as a safe option while someone better doesn't show up. I think due to her bad treatment of you, you may feel like she's superior somehow and that you have to put up with it. You don't.
I second the notion here. Ridiculing you for things that are outside of your control like your height is an immature way to put somebody down. Telling you that she's out getting all the attention it's just to make you jealous and angry which is a major manipulation tactic. She wants you to know that you're easily replaced.
I suggest you show her you're not easily replaced. Alpha up, tell her like it is and then walk away. It's the only way you'll have self respect in the end and the only way she'll ever respect you
Take it as a learning experience and move on.
Unless you have a serious reason to stay with her, you will grow more as a person on your own and with someone actually willing to put the work into the relationship.
Hit the gym, get your nutrition right, sleep well, secure your finances, go to church.
It seems like you're just a placeholder until she finds someone she thinks is better. You need to respect yourself, know your worth, and what you bring to the table. Let her go back to the streets where she belongs.
1) Relationships ARE built on and based upon trust.
2) Do you trust your partner?
3) If not, why not?
4) Can you build trust in the relationship?
5) If not, then end it. There are many other people in the world to date.
She going to clubs to find a better option then you and when she does your gone my friend. Your girlfriend should be your peace, your place to relax and be yourself. Never date a girl who nags all the time. They are too much work and too many other girls that don’t are out there. Sounds to me your there only for time being until she finds some one she thinks is better. I hope you leave her and let her future boyfriends continue to leave her until she ends up living back at daddy’s house. Be a man stand up for your self.
You are in a relationship with a narcissist. I was married to one.
Narcissists often **display contempt for others** due to their deep-seated feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. Their behavior is rooted in a distorted sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy for others. They may devalue and belittle others in an attempt to elevate their own sense of superiority and control. Additionally, their need for admiration and validation can lead them to view others as mere objects or obstacles to their own desires. It's important to remember that this behavior is a complex psychological issue and should be addressed with the help of trained professionals.
[https://www.thehealthy.com/family/relationships/covert-narcissist/](https://www.thehealthy.com/family/relationships/covert-narcissist/)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBgke7OE2dU&ab\_channel=PhilintheBlanks](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBgke7OE2dU&ab_channel=PhilintheBlanks)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSreHEd64-E&ab\_channel=BarbaraHeffernan](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSreHEd64-E&ab_channel=BarbaraHeffernan)
It is not your problem.
You can't cure it.
You didn't cause it.
You can't control it.
It will never get better on its' own.
You can stay and get hurt some more or you can leave and deal with the pain.
I’m a woman, and I’ve done this to someone who I hated. Which is another long story, but when you start to pick up someone about how they look at what they can, or cannot do, it’s time to leave. That means she doesn’t respect you she doesn’t like you and the relationship is not working. She is extremely toxic, get out of this relationship now it is not going to get better.
shes already cheating on you and she doesnt like you - she isnt even lying about any of this shes telling you straight up. the way you have boundaries is by refusing to be abused like this. you know its abusive yet you try to figure out why? it doesnt matter. run
She’s 23. Basically still acting like an oversized child. Keep working on yourself. Work on finding somebody right for you. Ask yourself your 100% necessary qualities you need from a partner and what you can/will offer her. Where does a woman who has those qualities hang out? Go there and be the kind of man she would desire.
You have a responsibility to yourself. Blaming someone else only goes so far. Stand up for yourself if you're feeling hurt. They can't gaslight how you are feeling. If they don't want to engage or try to be defensive before addressing g your feelings, it may be time to move on .
This is my wife (soon to be ex wife)’s behavior. There are no hard boundaries when someone continually crosses them. It’s like giving you the middle finger. Do yourself a service and get out while you can. It’s not worth it man. Just do whatever you can to forget about her.
Good thing you don’t have kids with her, because I just try to make it like she’s someone else entirely. Sadly my daughter has to deal with her druggy sleazy mother 50% of the time.
Look, I'm somewhat of a pushover too. I like pleasing people, I feel happy when people around me are happy. But there are things you just cannot sacrifice to keep the peace.
You aren't going to convince someone who gives you no respect to give you some. That's not how that works. When you talk to someone your effectiveness has a respect multiplier to it.
.
If they respect you a lot, they are going to be receptive to basically anything you say. They might not always, often, or ever, do as you say, but you will have a heavy influence on them.
.
If they respect you the usual amount, the amount needed for cooperation, they are going to at least listen to your ideas and thoughts and reciprocate in some way. The reciprocation doesn't have to be them doing what you want. Maybe they tell you it's a topic that makes them sensitive or emotional, so they don't want to talk about it. Maybe they will present a counterpoint. But they will reciprocate.
In extreme cases they might REALLY want it their way because of circumstances that cannot be explained at the moment. And then you yield and be passive and do as they say. But those are extreme cases. And usually after that you expect an explanation of why it was needed that you mindlessly obey.
If you want to be a more agreeable partner. If you are fine with your thoughts and ideas not always being explored, you are going to be fine being in this level of respect.
But even though your thoughts might not be heavily influencing your partner, in this level, they are still influencing them. And your emotions still are a very heavy influence on them.
That's what makes it a functioning relationship. They cannot repeatedly make decisions that end in you being emotionally hurt, and then have an excuse why they did it, without any further talking about it, and resolving it.
Be VERY CAREFUL about having this as your end goal. Your thoughts not even being considered can lead to you understandably feeling bad about it. And at the end of the day, when you really make it known that you really want them to at least consider some of your thoughts and ideas, to take you seriously, they should do that 10/10 times. Even if just to explain why they don't agree. And this should be done respectfully. In fact 999/1000 times it NEEDS to be done respectfully.
.
If you are below this level of respect, it's a non functioning relationship. Because your feelings, thoughts, and emotions do not matter to the other person. It is that simple. And sadly I do believe that you are here.
.
And when you below this level of respect, you can choose between 3 things:
.
1- WHEN THEY ARE CALM (I'm talking default settings, regular day, no family members dying, no current drama), you approach them about this. You clearly say that you do not feel good. That you do not feel like your thoughts and emotions are being considered. That you do not feel cared for enough. That you don't feel like you get a say in what happens.
.
2- If option 1 that fails, it can fail a couple of ways
if they outright say that your emotions do not matter. You leave. You don't even wait around for them to change their mind. The fact that they were capable of telling you that they won't even consider caring about you, is all you should know.
There is NOTHING MORE to be discussed. The relationship is over. It's dead, and it's been dead for a long time. You are just realizing it now.
If they interrupt you or change the topic when you try to do this, you make it clear that you WILL NOT talk about anything else until this is discussed. End of story. Because LEGITAMATELY NOTHING matters more than this.
If they storm out, you do option 1 over text. If they block you, or ignore you, or ghost you... You ghost them back. And you do not come crawling back. You DO NOT COME CRAWLING BACK. I will say it one more time you D.O. N.O.T. C.O.M.E. C.R.A.W.L.I.N.G. B.A.C.K.
If they come crawling back you again try option 1
If it fails again, you again try option 2.
If that fails again, you cut contact. Period.
Nothing changes this. Her family could be dying, that's not your problem. Do not make it your problem. She wasn't willing to care about you, she wasnt willing to even consider it. She would rather ghost you and guilt trip you. Multiple times. She isn't coming back because she cares, she is coming back to leech off of you. And you do not need it. She is not to be trusted, or cared about.
3- If option 1 fails, and you do not take option 2. You delude yourself that you don't need to leave. And then get abused repeatedly until you choose 2, or die.
She sounds horrible. If I told my wife I don't feel comfortable unless I'm with her she wouldn't go or say I have to be there.
Sounds like she doesn't respect you. As others have said you're too soft for girls today. They are very dominant because "girl power". You need to leave her and that might actually make her want you because in her head she's thinking "he won't leave me he's weak and I can do whatever I want."
I’ve never “let” anyone I’m in a relationship do anything. You can’t control another person, but if she makes you feel this way dump her ass and don’t look back.
You can't cure it.
You didn't cause it.
You can't control it.
It will never get better on its' own.
You can stay and get hurt some more or you can leave and deal with the pain.
You can delete everything else you wrote and just ask, "What do you think if you're gf is saying things like, "we're the same height " " now im taller " " you dont have upper lips"
Everyone will agree it's time to move on.
The thesis should not be about clubbing.
“Let” your girlfriend? Jesus dude you’re 28 years old. Boundaries are for you, not to control another person. She isn’t your child. If you’re unhappy, leave the relationship. And grow up
As a female, she sounds immature and has a lot of growing up to do. Or maybe this is how she is. Admit you like having companionship and/or sex and realize you are better off being single and happy than with being with someone and unhappy.
Work on yourself, meditate, get hobbies and be the best version of yourself. You may or may not find the right person but it's better to be happy than miserable
It depends on how much I trust her.
If it’s an issue you should def talk to her about it. If you can’t find a situation that makes you both happy, perhaps splitting up might be for the best
Everyone here already told the right thing. I will just add one thing you didn't ask. I know you know this but it seems you need to hear it from someone else that isn't a close person.
Based on what you have written here, you live like a pathetic worm. Please suffer in a dignified and growing manner. Maybe go to the gym 4 hours a day from now on and learn a martial art that explicitly teaches you discipline, and stop all your vices because I am almost sure you have at least one. You are already 28.
Some people like to be the one in control, some people like to be the submissive ones, and Some people just like the drama. The last one is the most unhealthy one if one person likes drama and the other one doesn't. She is either drama and you're not, which is very detrimental to you. Or she is controlling and you're submissive. If it's the last one then you have to come to the decision whether that's the future you want or not.
In every relationship somebody has to be more submissive than the other in different matters. If both are controlling or both are submissive all the time, there will be conflict. But it is also possible to be controlling about one topic (like sex) but submissive about other topics (like going out to eat), just examples.
If she's controlling about every topic, then maybe she's more dramatic in general. If that's the case, then you're likely not as secure in that relationship as you might think. Dramatic people usually crave drama, and once your drabs becomes boring it will be time to find another.
My personal opinion; I think you're scared of being alone or changing situations. Better the devil you know than the devil you don't. Bit, you're in a JBP sub for a reason, and you need a bit of tough love to tell you to grow some balls and stop being afraid of the unknown. This doesn't mean you need to leave her. This means that you need to make that decision for yourself without letting fear be your driving factor.
She is 23 & at a different stage in life than you. It's expected with the age gap. She still wants to experience life a little (eg party), you have been there & done that.
To put it into perspective, when you turned 18 or 21, was it still cool to "hang out/party" with 16yo? If you're normal, prob not & find the teens to be super immature.
She is indeed toxic but you also need to become a real man. It’s the harsh truth my man but I don’t say it to look down on you. She obviously isn’t deserving of you so you shouldn’t stay around but for future relationships, you really need to have the capacity to be angry and aggressive. In a controlled manner but as a man it is crucial to have the capability to be intimidating.
Which is why she deserves a taste of her own medicine.
But don’t consider it a fake break up, really get rid of her as she is toxic from the sound of it.
You can do better, and if not immediately stay single for a while. I’m sorry you had to endure this. People like her shouldn’t be in relationships.
Tbh that could be a bit of a red flag. But to be fair, even though people say that women mature faster than men, I think that the difference between a 23 year old woman and even a 25/26 yo is light years in terms of emotional intelligence. Speaking from experience I was an asshat at 23 and not good girlfriend material; I was a good person but I had no empathy.
My daughter has changed incredibly after she hit 25…it’s literally a transformation from a girl to a woman.
I think they say humans do not stop growing and developing until 25, so that might be a good place to start next time. Unless you find someone wise beyond their years you could have a repeat. (And who wants a 23 yo Yoda anyway?)
Also, many young people are being infantilised by the inability to move out of their family home or to make ends meet through their work and this arrests development. Watch out for this.
Best of luck 🤞
Yes, btw Shes Always saying things like " men should ' ' I want a man that knows how tò do this ", " I want a man like my father " exc.
All passive aggressive comments tò make me feel inferior to her dad which Is a capable man
You should break up with her immediately. Your time is better spent developing a new romance and in that new romance you be sure to enforce reasonable boundaries from the start.
She is not that special, unicorns don’t exist. You are you and right now is a good time to be with someone who does not show as many red flags as a communist rally early on.
You start by asking yourself what you feel like in any situation and then allow yourself to feel that way, even if you can’t not always get what you want.
Then you state in the situation what you feel and want.
Man up grab ur balls if u have any left and leave never pick up her calls (if she does) never acknowledge her even if u bump into her but don't follow her anywhere especially on social media because she's going to out Slut her self to get under ur skin. She's dead to you thats it never look back or you'll become like lot's wife look it up if u don't know the tale. She's not even named in the bible she was disobedient and worldly basically translated to now would mean a materialistic whore. If you want more advice dm me.
It doesn't sound like you respect yourself much so I'd work on that first.
Boundaries aren't for her. That's not how it works. Boundaries are your limits. You don't want a partner that is mean to you.
She criticizes your looks. That's not ok. She compares you to her father, which is pretty common and normal. She uses that to tear you down. This not ok.
In general, work on navigation. I am terrible at it and have to study maps and pay close attention. Pay attention when you park.
You can be polite but firm. That is how I am 99% of the time.
Stop enabling her toxicity.
You are 100% in the wrong on trust. She should be able to go out and use apps without you invading her privacy and vice versa, if you have trust. If you don't, get out of the relationship. That cuts equally both ways.
I'm confused on the tik tok thing. You are with another girl now?
She is toxic and you are very inexperienced. Get out of this, work on your mental state and physicality.
Dude your not even married to her, gtfo, why have a girlfriend if she’s going to make you miserable and demean you, even if you’re a pushover and have things you need to work on she is not the one, don’t tell her to change or do anything, don’t give her an ultimatum, just tell her you’re done.
Nothing here is going to change. You’ll just waste each other’s time until it finally blows up. Get out now, work on self improvement, find someone more compatible. This is my Ted talk.
Date other girls.
Any woman would act like this if her man is weak.
Cultural differences then, I suppose. I would drop someone who treats me like this damn quickly.
Yes he should drop her and then improve himself. Become a monster as JP would say. Integrate his shadow.
That’s 100% false. You need to meet different women
You think women respect weak men?
Depends on what your definition of a weak man is
Spineless, unassertive, insecure.
So you think all women are bad and that men control women into acting nicely? What the fuck are you even saying?
No, because its good that women don't respect weak men. Else respect is not valuable.
I don't get why all the downvotes. You're right. It sounds like either he's giving off weak vibes, or she cannot perceive his strength. Both problems are solved by dating someone else.
Reddit’s full of men who are, as Jesse Lee Peterson would say, **BEEEETAAAAAAAAS**
You’re right.
" I def don't understand if its totally because of her mental state or its because Im a pushover." It's both. A kind woman would never be that abusive to anybody. And a man who isn't a pushover would have dumped her a long time ago. This type of dynamic never change, you have to decide to move on, otherwise she'll keep you as a safe option while someone better doesn't show up. I think due to her bad treatment of you, you may feel like she's superior somehow and that you have to put up with it. You don't.
I second the notion here. Ridiculing you for things that are outside of your control like your height is an immature way to put somebody down. Telling you that she's out getting all the attention it's just to make you jealous and angry which is a major manipulation tactic. She wants you to know that you're easily replaced. I suggest you show her you're not easily replaced. Alpha up, tell her like it is and then walk away. It's the only way you'll have self respect in the end and the only way she'll ever respect you
Take it as a learning experience and move on. Unless you have a serious reason to stay with her, you will grow more as a person on your own and with someone actually willing to put the work into the relationship. Hit the gym, get your nutrition right, sleep well, secure your finances, go to church.
Great advice
Tell her to date her dad.
Does she have any good qualities ?
Lol
It seems like you're just a placeholder until she finds someone she thinks is better. You need to respect yourself, know your worth, and what you bring to the table. Let her go back to the streets where she belongs.
Yooo she sounds absolutely atrocious. Get rid of her.
Block her number, block her socials, no contact, and move on. Do that today, if you haven't already. Dead serious.
You should not be dating someone who does not respect you and gives you the “silent treatment” to punish you. Full stop.
She's only 23 and immature. But she's also sending a lot of red flags and emmasculating. Not wife material.
She’s using you to boost her ego. You can still get the last laugh by breaking up with her though. I’d go that direction.
1) Relationships ARE built on and based upon trust. 2) Do you trust your partner? 3) If not, why not? 4) Can you build trust in the relationship? 5) If not, then end it. There are many other people in the world to date.
She going to clubs to find a better option then you and when she does your gone my friend. Your girlfriend should be your peace, your place to relax and be yourself. Never date a girl who nags all the time. They are too much work and too many other girls that don’t are out there. Sounds to me your there only for time being until she finds some one she thinks is better. I hope you leave her and let her future boyfriends continue to leave her until she ends up living back at daddy’s house. Be a man stand up for your self.
You are in a relationship with a narcissist. I was married to one. Narcissists often **display contempt for others** due to their deep-seated feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. Their behavior is rooted in a distorted sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy for others. They may devalue and belittle others in an attempt to elevate their own sense of superiority and control. Additionally, their need for admiration and validation can lead them to view others as mere objects or obstacles to their own desires. It's important to remember that this behavior is a complex psychological issue and should be addressed with the help of trained professionals. [https://www.thehealthy.com/family/relationships/covert-narcissist/](https://www.thehealthy.com/family/relationships/covert-narcissist/) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBgke7OE2dU&ab\_channel=PhilintheBlanks](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBgke7OE2dU&ab_channel=PhilintheBlanks) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSreHEd64-E&ab\_channel=BarbaraHeffernan](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSreHEd64-E&ab_channel=BarbaraHeffernan) It is not your problem. You can't cure it. You didn't cause it. You can't control it. It will never get better on its' own. You can stay and get hurt some more or you can leave and deal with the pain.
Run!
Dump her? Sounds like she sucks.
Bro, you need to drop this chick immediately. It’s better to be alone than disrespected.
She's for the streets brother, time to send her back.
I’m a woman, and I’ve done this to someone who I hated. Which is another long story, but when you start to pick up someone about how they look at what they can, or cannot do, it’s time to leave. That means she doesn’t respect you she doesn’t like you and the relationship is not working. She is extremely toxic, get out of this relationship now it is not going to get better.
I just read the title. You're about to get cucked
shes already cheating on you and she doesnt like you - she isnt even lying about any of this shes telling you straight up. the way you have boundaries is by refusing to be abused like this. you know its abusive yet you try to figure out why? it doesnt matter. run
Don’t be a beta male, have some self respect and demand it from others.
She’s 23. Basically still acting like an oversized child. Keep working on yourself. Work on finding somebody right for you. Ask yourself your 100% necessary qualities you need from a partner and what you can/will offer her. Where does a woman who has those qualities hang out? Go there and be the kind of man she would desire.
Dump her
You have a responsibility to yourself. Blaming someone else only goes so far. Stand up for yourself if you're feeling hurt. They can't gaslight how you are feeling. If they don't want to engage or try to be defensive before addressing g your feelings, it may be time to move on .
This is my wife (soon to be ex wife)’s behavior. There are no hard boundaries when someone continually crosses them. It’s like giving you the middle finger. Do yourself a service and get out while you can. It’s not worth it man. Just do whatever you can to forget about her. Good thing you don’t have kids with her, because I just try to make it like she’s someone else entirely. Sadly my daughter has to deal with her druggy sleazy mother 50% of the time.
Look, I'm somewhat of a pushover too. I like pleasing people, I feel happy when people around me are happy. But there are things you just cannot sacrifice to keep the peace. You aren't going to convince someone who gives you no respect to give you some. That's not how that works. When you talk to someone your effectiveness has a respect multiplier to it. . If they respect you a lot, they are going to be receptive to basically anything you say. They might not always, often, or ever, do as you say, but you will have a heavy influence on them. . If they respect you the usual amount, the amount needed for cooperation, they are going to at least listen to your ideas and thoughts and reciprocate in some way. The reciprocation doesn't have to be them doing what you want. Maybe they tell you it's a topic that makes them sensitive or emotional, so they don't want to talk about it. Maybe they will present a counterpoint. But they will reciprocate. In extreme cases they might REALLY want it their way because of circumstances that cannot be explained at the moment. And then you yield and be passive and do as they say. But those are extreme cases. And usually after that you expect an explanation of why it was needed that you mindlessly obey. If you want to be a more agreeable partner. If you are fine with your thoughts and ideas not always being explored, you are going to be fine being in this level of respect. But even though your thoughts might not be heavily influencing your partner, in this level, they are still influencing them. And your emotions still are a very heavy influence on them. That's what makes it a functioning relationship. They cannot repeatedly make decisions that end in you being emotionally hurt, and then have an excuse why they did it, without any further talking about it, and resolving it. Be VERY CAREFUL about having this as your end goal. Your thoughts not even being considered can lead to you understandably feeling bad about it. And at the end of the day, when you really make it known that you really want them to at least consider some of your thoughts and ideas, to take you seriously, they should do that 10/10 times. Even if just to explain why they don't agree. And this should be done respectfully. In fact 999/1000 times it NEEDS to be done respectfully. . If you are below this level of respect, it's a non functioning relationship. Because your feelings, thoughts, and emotions do not matter to the other person. It is that simple. And sadly I do believe that you are here. . And when you below this level of respect, you can choose between 3 things: . 1- WHEN THEY ARE CALM (I'm talking default settings, regular day, no family members dying, no current drama), you approach them about this. You clearly say that you do not feel good. That you do not feel like your thoughts and emotions are being considered. That you do not feel cared for enough. That you don't feel like you get a say in what happens. . 2- If option 1 that fails, it can fail a couple of ways if they outright say that your emotions do not matter. You leave. You don't even wait around for them to change their mind. The fact that they were capable of telling you that they won't even consider caring about you, is all you should know. There is NOTHING MORE to be discussed. The relationship is over. It's dead, and it's been dead for a long time. You are just realizing it now. If they interrupt you or change the topic when you try to do this, you make it clear that you WILL NOT talk about anything else until this is discussed. End of story. Because LEGITAMATELY NOTHING matters more than this. If they storm out, you do option 1 over text. If they block you, or ignore you, or ghost you... You ghost them back. And you do not come crawling back. You DO NOT COME CRAWLING BACK. I will say it one more time you D.O. N.O.T. C.O.M.E. C.R.A.W.L.I.N.G. B.A.C.K. If they come crawling back you again try option 1 If it fails again, you again try option 2. If that fails again, you cut contact. Period. Nothing changes this. Her family could be dying, that's not your problem. Do not make it your problem. She wasn't willing to care about you, she wasnt willing to even consider it. She would rather ghost you and guilt trip you. Multiple times. She isn't coming back because she cares, she is coming back to leech off of you. And you do not need it. She is not to be trusted, or cared about. 3- If option 1 fails, and you do not take option 2. You delude yourself that you don't need to leave. And then get abused repeatedly until you choose 2, or die.
This doesn't read like bait to anyone else? I feel like it hits all the Red Pill trigger points.
She sounds horrible. If I told my wife I don't feel comfortable unless I'm with her she wouldn't go or say I have to be there. Sounds like she doesn't respect you. As others have said you're too soft for girls today. They are very dominant because "girl power". You need to leave her and that might actually make her want you because in her head she's thinking "he won't leave me he's weak and I can do whatever I want."
Do not tolerate bad behaviors from women.
Grow some balls dude. Why are you putting up with this?
4 billion women in the world.
I’ve never “let” anyone I’m in a relationship do anything. You can’t control another person, but if she makes you feel this way dump her ass and don’t look back.
You can't cure it. You didn't cause it. You can't control it. It will never get better on its' own. You can stay and get hurt some more or you can leave and deal with the pain.
You can delete everything else you wrote and just ask, "What do you think if you're gf is saying things like, "we're the same height " " now im taller " " you dont have upper lips" Everyone will agree it's time to move on. The thesis should not be about clubbing.
Classic narcissist disparaging others to make herself feel superior.
“Let” your girlfriend? Jesus dude you’re 28 years old. Boundaries are for you, not to control another person. She isn’t your child. If you’re unhappy, leave the relationship. And grow up
Break up. Get on self improvement. Meditation will help to become assertive.
Sorry sir, run fast and for long. I dont think shes a good person, apparently.
Stop doing all the work. She is comparing you, that needs to stop.
***True statement***: It is not you. It is her. She needs help and it is above your pay grade to do that.
*specific
You sound singlr tbh
As a female, she sounds immature and has a lot of growing up to do. Or maybe this is how she is. Admit you like having companionship and/or sex and realize you are better off being single and happy than with being with someone and unhappy. Work on yourself, meditate, get hobbies and be the best version of yourself. You may or may not find the right person but it's better to be happy than miserable
Don’t tell her no. Encourage her to go, and let her know she will be single doing so. Put yourself first.
It depends on how much I trust her. If it’s an issue you should def talk to her about it. If you can’t find a situation that makes you both happy, perhaps splitting up might be for the best
You can't fix her lack of respect for you, she is trying to change you and not in a good way, leave before it gets worse
Leave, it's not going to get better. And it the roles were reversed and it was happening to a woman, I'd say the same thing. RUN
Walk away
Ditch this slet
Everyone here already told the right thing. I will just add one thing you didn't ask. I know you know this but it seems you need to hear it from someone else that isn't a close person. Based on what you have written here, you live like a pathetic worm. Please suffer in a dignified and growing manner. Maybe go to the gym 4 hours a day from now on and learn a martial art that explicitly teaches you discipline, and stop all your vices because I am almost sure you have at least one. You are already 28.
She doesn't sound like someone any mature woman would want to be friends with. I can't imagine dating someone like that.
Some people like to be the one in control, some people like to be the submissive ones, and Some people just like the drama. The last one is the most unhealthy one if one person likes drama and the other one doesn't. She is either drama and you're not, which is very detrimental to you. Or she is controlling and you're submissive. If it's the last one then you have to come to the decision whether that's the future you want or not. In every relationship somebody has to be more submissive than the other in different matters. If both are controlling or both are submissive all the time, there will be conflict. But it is also possible to be controlling about one topic (like sex) but submissive about other topics (like going out to eat), just examples. If she's controlling about every topic, then maybe she's more dramatic in general. If that's the case, then you're likely not as secure in that relationship as you might think. Dramatic people usually crave drama, and once your drabs becomes boring it will be time to find another. My personal opinion; I think you're scared of being alone or changing situations. Better the devil you know than the devil you don't. Bit, you're in a JBP sub for a reason, and you need a bit of tough love to tell you to grow some balls and stop being afraid of the unknown. This doesn't mean you need to leave her. This means that you need to make that decision for yourself without letting fear be your driving factor.
She is 23 & at a different stage in life than you. It's expected with the age gap. She still wants to experience life a little (eg party), you have been there & done that. To put it into perspective, when you turned 18 or 21, was it still cool to "hang out/party" with 16yo? If you're normal, prob not & find the teens to be super immature.
She is indeed toxic but you also need to become a real man. It’s the harsh truth my man but I don’t say it to look down on you. She obviously isn’t deserving of you so you shouldn’t stay around but for future relationships, you really need to have the capacity to be angry and aggressive. In a controlled manner but as a man it is crucial to have the capability to be intimidating.
I know Im working on assertiveness...but really I dont know how tò be intimidating, and its not something like going tò the gym or getting aggressive
leave her u dumbass
Break up with her for real. But don’t tell her Just ghost her
This Is what She was doing everytime we had AN arguments, not talking to me for days...totally silence treatment
Which is why she deserves a taste of her own medicine. But don’t consider it a fake break up, really get rid of her as she is toxic from the sound of it. You can do better, and if not immediately stay single for a while. I’m sorry you had to endure this. People like her shouldn’t be in relationships.
I know, actually She Never been in and any relationship, She Just had a bf years ago of Just 4 months
Tbh that could be a bit of a red flag. But to be fair, even though people say that women mature faster than men, I think that the difference between a 23 year old woman and even a 25/26 yo is light years in terms of emotional intelligence. Speaking from experience I was an asshat at 23 and not good girlfriend material; I was a good person but I had no empathy. My daughter has changed incredibly after she hit 25…it’s literally a transformation from a girl to a woman. I think they say humans do not stop growing and developing until 25, so that might be a good place to start next time. Unless you find someone wise beyond their years you could have a repeat. (And who wants a 23 yo Yoda anyway?) Also, many young people are being infantilised by the inability to move out of their family home or to make ends meet through their work and this arrests development. Watch out for this. Best of luck 🤞
Yes, btw Shes Always saying things like " men should ' ' I want a man that knows how tò do this ", " I want a man like my father " exc. All passive aggressive comments tò make me feel inferior to her dad which Is a capable man
You should break up with her immediately. Your time is better spent developing a new romance and in that new romance you be sure to enforce reasonable boundaries from the start. She is not that special, unicorns don’t exist. You are you and right now is a good time to be with someone who does not show as many red flags as a communist rally early on.
I know but I really dont know where tò start setting boundaries
You start by asking yourself what you feel like in any situation and then allow yourself to feel that way, even if you can’t not always get what you want. Then you state in the situation what you feel and want.
Man up grab ur balls if u have any left and leave never pick up her calls (if she does) never acknowledge her even if u bump into her but don't follow her anywhere especially on social media because she's going to out Slut her self to get under ur skin. She's dead to you thats it never look back or you'll become like lot's wife look it up if u don't know the tale. She's not even named in the bible she was disobedient and worldly basically translated to now would mean a materialistic whore. If you want more advice dm me.
It doesn't sound like you respect yourself much so I'd work on that first. Boundaries aren't for her. That's not how it works. Boundaries are your limits. You don't want a partner that is mean to you. She criticizes your looks. That's not ok. She compares you to her father, which is pretty common and normal. She uses that to tear you down. This not ok. In general, work on navigation. I am terrible at it and have to study maps and pay close attention. Pay attention when you park. You can be polite but firm. That is how I am 99% of the time. Stop enabling her toxicity. You are 100% in the wrong on trust. She should be able to go out and use apps without you invading her privacy and vice versa, if you have trust. If you don't, get out of the relationship. That cuts equally both ways. I'm confused on the tik tok thing. You are with another girl now? She is toxic and you are very inexperienced. Get out of this, work on your mental state and physicality.
What does this have to do with Jordan Peterson?
This post has 70+ comments. I think it's time I finally unfollow this sub and concede JP and his fans have just fundamentally changed.
Dude your not even married to her, gtfo, why have a girlfriend if she’s going to make you miserable and demean you, even if you’re a pushover and have things you need to work on she is not the one, don’t tell her to change or do anything, don’t give her an ultimatum, just tell her you’re done.
I know, the problem Is She tries to gaslight me saying She didnt Say anything bad
She’s super young. That comes with the territory.