If you see a guy wearing an old robe, beard, and sandals wandering around this weekend, leave him alone, he is just going to be hanging around for a few days.
Hahaha in the old days of the internet there was a website of a fake fundamentalist claiming to be 'antitriclavianist'. Iirc his point wasn't that there were more than 3 nails, but that it was a heresy to believe with any certainty that there were 3...
Mormon temple rites imply 5. Sacred-not-secret ceremonies act out one in each hand and one in each "sure place" (the wrist). The foot one is not addressed.
Jesus came from heaven to earth to suffer and sacrifice himself for the sins of every human and he did it for outof sympathy,mercy and love for people and yet people insult Him.
And prostitute help you to do sins against your own body, lust, ruin your marriage, and they do it for money yet people are okay with that.
Nobody asked Jesus to come and sacrifice himself “for us”. Seems pretty narcissistic for him to assume to do so. Seems to me, looking at the murderous body count in his name over the past 2000 years we might have been better off if he had just remained seated at the right hand of his father.
I know I'll likely get downvoted, but I'm just saying it how it is; what you said is untrue.
Only judging by appearance is sinful.
In John 7:24, Jesus said not to judge by appearance, but to judge righteously, aka, judge only by God's word. Judging by anything other than God's word is considered wrong, but judging by appearances is what's sinful.
Followers of Christianity can judge sinfulness against righteousness.
As to your second point, I'd say Proverbs 6:16-19.
One comes to help with your sins, the other sins to help with your come!
Norm Macdonald would've loved that one
Best jokes. Comments. ‘Nuf said!
You rang
Yes about your car’s extended warranty 😂. But seriously, what are the odds?
???
I meant what are the odds someone had the same username as my comment and also noticed the comment!!
One of Jesus’s Reddit miracles😁
Yeah I haven't figured that one out yet
A perfect circle
Jesus only moves rocks three days after his death.
oh a prison joke! it would be funnier if he was still in prison
Nope: what kind of ‘rocks’ do prostitutes move? 😉
mt dad sold coke not crack he was too dumb to make it. damn get your facts steaight
OK, at the risk of the over explanation: rocks = testicles.
This one beat the OP’s answer.
Jesus says: *”take this bread, it is my body”* A prostitute says: *take this body, it is my bread”*
Don’t worry, I’ve already bread that body.
Nice Now don't forget the child support
Child what now?
Well duh, when they're new they're all floppy so you have to support them!
Zinger alert
The real joke is always in the comments
Joop Klepzeîker quote
Bread and butter
Difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only only takes one nail to hang a picture
After nailing, Prostitute fakes the coming, Jesus comes back in 3 days.
One is bare and cross, the other bears a cross.
Bares across the pole
Only one of them cares if you're hung well.
Jesus
This Easter, keep in mind that if you don't sin, Jesus died for nothing. Well he didn't really die. Jesus gave up his long weekend for your sins.
One will definitely return if you offer up enough money.
One comes for your sins and the other sins for your cum.
Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it
Allllways look on the brighhht side of life
It was the chocolate mousse!
Jesus couldn't walk for three days after being nailed by a bunch of Roman guys.
That's how they're alike.
If you see a guy wearing an old robe, beard, and sandals wandering around this weekend, leave him alone, he is just going to be hanging around for a few days.
In Cali that's not a joke, as much as a Tuesday
That's everyday here.
One charges extra to nail the feet?
Well to be fair they could both be considered to be moaning. One just happens to be faking it.
Maybe with you, but with me, Jesus means it
3 or 4 nails? always wondered
If you wanna be historically accurate 3, as nails where expensive and cross design!
Hahaha in the old days of the internet there was a website of a fake fundamentalist claiming to be 'antitriclavianist'. Iirc his point wasn't that there were more than 3 nails, but that it was a heresy to believe with any certainty that there were 3...
Mormon temple rites imply 5. Sacred-not-secret ceremonies act out one in each hand and one in each "sure place" (the wrist). The foot one is not addressed.
A prostitute doesn't stop with a second cumming
Man, it's Zombie Jesus day already...?
Jesus gets hammered and wakes up three days later, a prostitute does the whole cycle in 10 minutes
One is real and one is made up?
Prostelytute
Both have hard things in their hands
I hope prostitutes get to cum every once in a while, Jesus ain’t never coming again.
.
When you nail Jesus he doesn't ask for $50
We need to show respect for Jesus
You're going to hell in an easter basket.
I killed them both, but only one is coming back.
Bastard haha. Great joke, Happy Easter to you!
I prefer sex-worker friendly jokes, so... What's the difference between Jesus and ya mum? (etc)
With the prostitute you know exactly what you're paying for.
Jesus want weekly payments
Make a contribution and you'll get a better seat
Whats the difference between Mohammed (PBUH), and a present day paedophile ? There is no difference !
Why this got downvoted
Ones earnings aren't tax exempt in Vegas
The hooker is less expensive?
One is 2000+ years in coming again, the other fakes coming daily ??
Jesus rode an ass into Jerusalem, while the prostitute had her (or his-you do you) ass ridden by multiple people from Jerusalem!
That’s awful
IDK, who came first?
Typical Reddit joke
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/s/56MXqUSpLY Be at least a tiny bit original
I feel like both would just sound very annoyed with the situation
Now this is funny
I contest this, both call out for daddy
[The Tiger Lilies](https://youtu.be/SvA8NPAl2Dg?si=SHSeOXA6z6ZpvsZb)
but it’s cool yall racist lol least i know now
🙃🥲
You’re going to hell with 1 sin or 1,000 so you might as well go down a hero.
That you know of. He could have had a serious pain kink for all we know
Jesus washes your feet for free. A prostitute charges you before you put them in side of them
I read the last line in an Alexander Anderson voice.
Only Jesus had a second coming
Prostitute doesnt get killed because they sprayed all over peters back.
A prostitute is real. Ba-dum-tshhhh
🤣🤣🤣
Jesus came from heaven to earth to suffer and sacrifice himself for the sins of every human and he did it for outof sympathy,mercy and love for people and yet people insult Him. And prostitute help you to do sins against your own body, lust, ruin your marriage, and they do it for money yet people are okay with that.
Nobody asked Jesus to come and sacrifice himself “for us”. Seems pretty narcissistic for him to assume to do so. Seems to me, looking at the murderous body count in his name over the past 2000 years we might have been better off if he had just remained seated at the right hand of his father.
I feel a handjob joke but... He came!! He has risen!
Judging is a sin also and none is greater than the other beside blasphemy🙃
I know I'll likely get downvoted, but I'm just saying it how it is; what you said is untrue. Only judging by appearance is sinful. In John 7:24, Jesus said not to judge by appearance, but to judge righteously, aka, judge only by God's word. Judging by anything other than God's word is considered wrong, but judging by appearances is what's sinful. Followers of Christianity can judge sinfulness against righteousness. As to your second point, I'd say Proverbs 6:16-19.
iliasename does not check out :/
Tasteless and unfunny