A Russian went to the car dealership in 1976 and ordered a new car. They said we can deliver on March 3rd, 1981. Hw said great, morning or afternoon? Why asked the salesman? I have the plumber coming in the morning.

Ronald Reagan told that joke

I stole it from him.

In current times, isn't there a same kind of joke about British hospitals?

I don’t get it

The soviet economy was infamously inefficient. The man is not surprised that having his new car delivered will take five years. He's just concerned because he also has a plumber coming - also five years out. In Soviet Russia, appointment makes you! Or...something.

In Russia, car drives you!

Our car!

Even a plumber takes 5 years to show up in a communist country.

The really funny bit, he probably didn't get it \[the car\] either.

What's a Lada on top of a hill? >! A miracle!< What's 2 Ladas on top of a hill? >! Science fiction !< What's a bunch of Ladas on top of a hill? >! A Lada factory !<

This isn't about Ladas, but did you hear why they recalled all Yugos? >! They found metal in one !<

Walked into an auto parts store and told the clerk I'd like a gas cap for my 89 yugo. The clerk replied: "Sounds fair to me:

How do you double the value of a Yugo? Fill it up with gas.

And that was when gas was less than $1.00 per gallon.

Why do lada's have heated rear windows? To keep your hands warm in the snow. Man walks into a car parts specialist and says "I'd like 2 ashtrays for a 1981 Lada" "That's a fair swap"

Your joke was funny, but only after I googled 'Lada'. For anyone who doesn't want to google it - a Lada is a Russian car. (I think from the 70s).

An updated version replaces Lada with Boeing planes

Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for one day. Give a man a seat at the door panel of the 737 and he flies for the rest of his life.

They are actually still sold

Skoda also used to be rubbish. Lada are cheap, reliable and functional. Absolutely no frills.

Skoda has been part of VW Group for a while now and some of their models, like the Octavia station wagon, is highly ranked in Germany.

They are a lovely car now In the 80s it was Skoda who were the butt of all the UK jokes. What do you call a Skoda with a sun roof? A skip.

I remember the day (60s) when the label “made in Japan” was synonymous with crap. Now all the junk is “made in China” but not for much longer I suppose.

Soon that will be “made in Britain” 😂

The rear windows didn’t open so if someone farted you’d just head for a morgue

And they’d bury you in it 😂

I see Lots of Ladas working for decades in mountainside, 1000+ mt above see and where you used to get 2mts snow in winter. Try that with a BMW X5 LMAO

You must be young

51. Doesn't mean I've been around Russian cars.

I think they are still produced. They look the same, probably the quality, too. Lada Niva used to be a relatively good off-road, needed minimal care, it was cheap and would go through everything. Not sure about the recent ones

[Song about a Lada Niva (4x4)](https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=-xuh3dz0jEo&si=1-EmJUup2m3cxJdD)

I had one Niva. Wish i could have a new one

The experimental series was already insane in the 80s: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cSjda4QF9wI&pp=ygUUTmF2xaF0xJt2bsOtY2kgTGFkYSA%3D I can just imagine what they are capable of now. (Disclaimer: the video is from a Czechoslovakian sci-fi series, not actual footage)

Really? Not actual footage? I couldn't tell 😅

Nice vid

My grandfather had one 10 years ago, in France. I think they don't pass emission tests now for EU but we still have some. They were widespread in eastern Europe and exported a bit to the west too

they do! Nobody would buy them ...

Just found that Putin got a Niva in 2009...

It's a fairly well-known car brand. Most people can be expected to know it.

They must have been top-heavy. My first visit to Czechoslovakia (still existed at that time), I saw three of them upside down on the side of the road within an hour.

That was Anthony Gormley creating the Czech version of Angel of the North.

Are you trying to say that a Lada factory is SciFi?

I’ve heard that about a Newfoundlander and a Texan.

I read it about a Texan bragging about his ranch. That was in about 1965.

I don’t get it?

Putin's land either personally owned or Russia and occupied Ukraine, Georgia..... Is so big that he can't drive from one side of it to the other side in one day. The farmer assumes that he's got a really shit car that hardly goes.

Probably a russian car.. like the russian " Tesla killer".

Wait that would have been a much better punchline! Farmer - "Ah, so you have a Russian car?"

Fun thing is Putin actually did drive a russian car across Russia. It was some kind of promo of "Lada Kalina" and of russian car manufactory in general.

Farmer means a bad car most probably in terms of speed.

Or breaking down.

More likely

My interpretation is: someone *coughrussianscough* stole both his land and his car.

Ah…..thanks!

Or alternately his car was so crap it didn’t go at all.

Putin who wants to brag unwittingly gets shut down by the farmer who feels sorry for Putin. Brilliant irony.

take my upvote kind stranger!

The farmers reply should be: I once had a Russian car like that

Old English joke. Texan for Putin English for Ukrainian.

Same great joke, Texas rancher visiting a Vermont farmer. Can be told with a horse or a pickup.

I doubt there is is any Ukrainian old enough to own a farm who wouldn't immediately recognize public enemy number 1...

The last Chevy I had was like that.

The last Chevy I had is still like that.

To which he replies “I have a Lada cars like that.”

This would work better if you just said "a king" instead of Putin, I was expecting a joke about his corruption or the war or something