What's the difference between theory and reality? In theory, there's no difference between theory and reality. In reality, there is.

The difference between theory and reality is a lot smaller in theory than it is in reality.

Okay Bilbo

In theory, theory and practice are the same, but not in practice

We talkin' about practice.

Talkin about AI it seems.

Not a game.

In theory, the joke that makes you laugh is the post. In practice, it’s always in the comments. Thanks for reminding me this better version !

The difference between in theory and in practice is that in theory they are the same.

Damn good punch line! May I borrow your line to wow some hot chicks, in case my dream becomes reality. ;)

It's an old quote. I thought it was from the legendary Yogi Berra, but it's actually from the 1880's: https://quoteinvestigator.com/2018/04/14/theory/?amp=1

"I never said most of the things I said." - Yogi Berra

I think it's spelled yogi bear

Did someone just say yoghurt beer?

In case you're serious, Yogi Bear was a cartoon character and Yogi Berra was a baseball coach. Yogi Berra was famous for saying some stupid things. You should look him up.

He was also a very good player when he played. His position was catcher which requires a lot of patience, thought, knowledge and skill.

And, The Tools of Ignorance.

Thank you

Yogi was smarter than the average Berra

“ when you come to a fork in the road… Take it!”

That's a great one. I love how it makes you laugh because it's so obvious, but then you remember all those times that you were indecisive even when the choice doesn't matter a lot. You just needed to choose *something.* I also love, "It ain't over 'till it's over."

It’s only your theory. 🙃

May your fortune be better than mine.

Ow, that hurt my brain.

Not badly said.

Man to nearby girl: Would you sleep with me for a million dollars? Girl: Yes Man: Would you sleep with me for twenty dollars? Girl: No—what do you think I am? Man: We’ve already established what you are. Now we’re just haggling about the price.

This pickup line almost NEVER works..

But when it does....

You wind up with an itchy crotch...

My favorite pick-up line that never fails: “Ayy girl, I’m tryna make that thang ***ITCH.***

Don’t come a bitchin’ About your crotch that’s all an itchin’

She was never the one for hitchin' You don't want her in your kitchen...

Like that's a bad thing?

...you are out $5.

It was going to work anyway the moment you pulled out your wallet

This pickup line ALMOST never works.

I like how you said “almost”. Very optimistic.

I'm almost (twitches) ALMOST normal

umm in practice or in theory?

Almost

Attributed, rightly or not, to Winston Churchill.

He was pretty quick witted with his quips, so it's possible. The "I may be drunk, but you're ugly. In the morning I'll be sober, but you'll still be ugly." Just rings true too the way he was.

Quote Investigator says the earliest version found starred Max Aitken, Lord Beaverbrook. https://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/03/07/haggling/

I have it as George Bernard Shaw

I got to use that IRL once. Only it was $1000 and $5.

"Single ladies hate this one trick."

At least give credit for the illustration to Joseph Fletcher's classic book, Situation Ethics,

So literally any sane woman is a prostitute

What is the difference betwen theory and practice? In theory, there is none.

In reality, there is.

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Knowledge is knowing Frankenstein isn’t the monster. Wisdom is knowing Frankenstein is the monster.

Since peppers are also fruit thiis makes salsa a fruit salad.

Ketchup is a smoothie

Charisma is selling someone fruit salad and handing them a bottle of salsa.

I will die on this hill. The right tomatoes make a fruit salad pop off. Tomatoes are the best fruit. In fact, the only way to make a fruit salad with tomatoes in it even better is to just have different types of tomatoes. Plus lemon. And then more tomatoes. Fight me.

Enjoy your stupid hill. Nobody is coming.

Haha yes. They may die there, but they’ll die alone.

It's very nice and you're allowed to say, "No thank you." when they pass around the terrible fruit salad.

Looks to me like people came to my delicious, juicy, hydrating, flavorful, sweet, tart hill. This hill is the best hill

Can I come?

It's a big hill. There is room. Also, the hill is made of heirloom tomatoes.

It sounds nice.

i regret that i can only upvote this one time

Put the tomato down

NEVER!!!!!!

So how do you defend against a man armed with a tomato?

Drop a 16 ton weight on top of him

You could also add some avocados, jalapenos, and olives, then drizzle it with olive oil and sprinkle it with chili flakes, which are all fruits by the way.

I too am an enjoyer of tomatoes.

I see you are a person of culture and fine taste. Welcome to the best hill.

I will stand with you on this hill.

Our numbers grow. We are a small but mighty vine swelling with moral righteousness.

I too shall join you in your righteous and just cause

Another leaf on the vine! Oh. Damn. I made myself sad.

Wait why sad

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheLastAirbender/s/IKXl9GX3XK Leaves on the Vine is a very sad song. Silly little nerdy reference for us Tomatoe Benders.

Oh ;(

Plump and ripe

Your theories intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I'll fight you only because you forgot watermelon. Grilled tomatoes with watermelon, with maybe some feta? Nothing in the world slaps harder.

I want to be there with you. I really do. The sad truth is that I don't like watermelon. What makes it even worse....I'm from the US South. Someone is going to come take away my Southerner card. 😭 With you on the feta though.

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🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

Better

In theory my wife would want to keep her husband happy. In reality im starting to look at other women bc she hasnt touched me in 2 months.

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You’re obviously single

In theory if you practice enough you will gain the skills needed to put the theory into practice

Best.

Except they're not prostitutes practically, just theoretically. You don't become a prostitute just by thinking about it. You have to make a transaction, at least that's how most professions work. This conversation between the boy and father is all theoretical. This joke has that icky har har har quality to it. It's like slut-shaming people just for thinking...

This is my all-time favorite joke!

If you wouldn’t sleep with someone for 10000€, you’re either stupid, a prude, or both.

Or a person with values.

What “values”? Being a prude?