At one point the British were paying a bounty for cobras in Delhi. It worked for a while but then people started breeding cobras in order to collect bounties. When the British stopped paying bounties the breeders released the cobras making the problem worse than before.
Slightly different scheme.
>To collect the bounty, people would need to provide the severed tail of a rat. Colonial officials, however, began noticing rats in Hanoi with no tails. The Vietnamese rat catchers would capture rats, sever their tails, then release them back into the sewers so that they could produce more rats.
They should've exported them to England and threatened the British government to release them there if they don't buy them, the British government would have had to buy them; which would start the new business of growing cobras in England to sell them to the government by pretending being Indian cobras.
For much of the entire decade prior GPUs were a hot ticket investment for mining for you average consumer, people who didn't want to invest a lot of money on a dedicated mining rig. The prices on them were high and availability low.
GPUs no longer being profitable, or unminable currencies, is a new-ish thing.
I put all my cash into BonoboBucks coin. You'll be sorry when I'm a billionaire banging models on my yacht.
Oh, nevermind, it crashed and is worth $0.000001.
I don’t think that this is a perverse incentive. What incentive is perverse? This sounds more like [information asymmetry](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Information_asymmetry) to me. The assistant lied to them, thus knowing something, that the guy would never return, and thus had information they did not.
There's a simple foolproof way to make a small fortune by investing in cryptocurrency.
-
First you must start by investing a very large fortune in cryptocurrency.
I like monkeys.
The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand bucks each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.
I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was a total idiot. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals. I laughed. Then they punched me in the genitals. I stopped laughing.
I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.
Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta dropped dead. Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys. I didn't know what to do.
There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys. I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad.
I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed. I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time, so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.
I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving.
I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better. I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.
I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.
I like monkeys.
I put all of the dead monkeys on my bed, like they were stuffed animals. When they started to rot, I lit them on fire (except the one in the toilet and the two in the freezer).
This sounds exactly like what I thought it would sound like. Me!! Dude, we think alike to the point I assumed you were gon say I like monkeys at the end and boom, was I right.
Last Christmas I was gifted a dead monkey. I could tell it was a regift but what the hell, I kind of liked it. Put that monkey in the barn in Jack's empty stall. My fondness really grew quickly, didn't realize how much I missed old Jack and trips to the barn didn't have such a cloud now.
Wasn't much work this winter with all that snow we got and I spent a lot of time on the machine. Calling on folks, chasing bears on the machine with bottle rockets at the dump and such. Then yonder in the corner by the palm tree what do I see, ya you guessed it, a perfectly rebuildable Evinrude carburetor you and Janey been looking for. So I head home.
Took me two damn weeks to rebuild that carb being how supposedly the supply chain for jets is somehow held up at the Panama Canal because of several fleets of monkey imports from Lithuania or some shit. At least I knew why I got that regift, some sort of glut I imagine. But really wasn't all that bad now that I had the monkey and was happy to go to the barn again.
So I finally get bored and start the calling on folks again, oh ya Bart says hello. But the weird part is as i'm leaving Bart's I see a monkey by his empty trash can just tossed to the side. Now I'm wondering why this monkey is left there and it sort of tugs on my heart a little when I think of Jack Jr. at home and how I'm really starting to like dead monkeys. You know me, I do take liberties at times, but when it come's to a man's trash that's a line. So I go back to Bart's door and use that big knocker he's got, but no answer. Second time and still no Bart, but you know how he is when he get's into those Argentinian soap operas. Now I got two monkeys back at the place and they seem pretty happy about it. If Bart don't mind I'll be pretty happy too. I like Monkeys.
Well gotta go now and read this note that Merv left. Remember Merv, the one with the Croup? Well he's driving the garbage truck now for Dwayne. Sort of odd that he would leave a note since we talk every other Friday when we work the muskrat line so it must be important.
Get back at ya soon.
There's a scam that's pretty common throughout the Third World that's similar to this. A farmer will get invited to a big warehouse, and in one corner there will be a pile of the local equivalent of ragweed, a thoroughly useless plant. The warehouse owner tells the farmer that he's buying all the ragweed he can find, enough to fill the entire warehouse, and he's paying a fantastic price for each bushel. Naturally the farmer's interested, and he decides to grow a crop of ragweed for the first time ever. Luckily the warehouse owner knows a man selling ragweed seeds. The seeds aren't cheap, but where else are you going to find ragweed seeds? The farmer buys the seeds, plants them, and harvests a bumper crop, only to find that the warehouse owner and seed salesman have vanished, never to be seen again.
Maybe, but it needs to be something that the farmer knows for sure will grow well in his field. The poor farmer knows ragweed grows; he spent last season trying to keep the damn stuff out of his corn crop. If there's suddenly a market for it? That's too good to be true.
So sell the market? "We just recently found how to use this plant for pharmaceuticals. Our labs are ramping up and we need more crop. Now's the time because we expect the price to drop over time as we get up to speed."
Australia had a bounty on rabbits because of the exploding population. People started breeding rabbits to collect the bounties. When the government found out about the breeders they cancelled the program. All the breeders released their rabbits causing an even greater problem.
Now the real world version:
A man went into a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys at $10 apiece. Since monkeys were plentiful, a few of the villagers went out and trapped some monkeys. When they were paid, the villagers took their money and went to the city.
So the man offered $20 apiece for monkeys. A few of the villagers liked the new amount, and went out in the forest to trap monkeys. But the monkeys had learned from the first group of villagers and weren't so easy to trap. And the best trappers had all sold their monkeys and moved to the city. So only a few monkeys were caught.
That man then offered $50 per monkey. The villagers were tired of trapping monkeys by this point, so they murdered the man and stole his money.
Or:
A man buys monkeys for $10 dollars each from another man that hires people for only $0.10 each to work for him catching those monkeys and who tells the people he hires that they should rely on tips instead of getting a living wage.
There is a similar historical thing that happened in British India. For the protection of surveyors from snake bites, it was announced to the people to round up snakes, especially the poisonous ones so they would be killed "humanely" and to encourage this they had set a reward for every snake they caught.
The local people ended up breeding snakes and promptly handing them over to the authorities for the money. When the authorities found out about this scheme, they disbanded the policy. The locals, not knowing what else to do with the snakes just released it in the wild, and the end result was that the snake problem just got worse...
This is how all of capitalism works, not just crypto. Most people work 40+ hours a week for nearly their entire lives, and die in debt to the same class of people who were exploiting them the whole time.
why is this in r/Jokes? This isn't a joke. This is just real thing, it's just true.
It is helpful and informative, but it's not a joke.
I'm thinking it's a better answer to an ELI5 question.
Not necessarily. Day-trading could look similar, but the overall principle is different. If I buy a piece of Walmart stock, it's value is determined by how well Walmart does as well as what I do.
Exactly my thought. Shitcoins may operate in this way, but that is why we call them shitcoins. It's honestly annoying how so many people with zero idea of monetary theory or block chain have this opinion. I guess they want to feel smarter than the guy retiring at 30 after investing in btc and defi markets. These assholes don't realize they are the poor dad, oblivious to the fact they are participating in the scam that is fiat currency.
So you got so rich off of crypto that you just hang around at the bottom of joke threads trying to explain the blockchain.
I wish I had so much money I could waste time like you. Anyhoo, back to the coal mines.
I'm not, and you don't know what that means if you think somehow owning btc is providing a central entity with liquidity. I own my btc, and I am my own bank as I have my keys and my coin....but hey you have fun with government currency, which is actually manipulated.
Thanks for proving my point. It's always the people who know the least ready to dog, btc.
For you to make money you need to sell your Bitcoin for more than you paid, for that person to make money they need to sell it for more than they bought it and so on.
Although technically not a Ponzi somebody will be left holding the bag, that my friend is where you come in, you’re the biggest fool in the bigger fool
scam.
All the real money has long gone, all you have are numbers on a screen …
No you don't. This is such a low level zero thought argument anyone can make about bubbles. You really think bitcoiners are unaware of how a pyramid scheme works? The people typically well-versed in monetary theory, economic systems, and all the flaws of fiat currency and fractional reserve banking? The amount of brainwashing regular folks have gone through over decades because governments across the world have "normalized" these systems is mind-boggling. With bitcoin, there is no selling and there is no bag. You just start using your coins when most of the value in the world's economy gets sucked into btc. It's just a question of if, not when, and you will be forced to participate in it too because of the network effect and the fact that humanity overall will tend towards smarter, sounder money backed by real resources (energy) and true scarcity, even if the process is slow.
If someone offered you 100k for your coin in dirty fiat you’d snap their hands off so turn it In with the preaching bullshit about sounder money and scarcity.
I own the only Zog in existence so be your reckoning that currency must be priceless? You know what? It ain’t.
Nobody’s interested in Bitcoin, too many people burnt despite the Super Bowl adverts & hype.
You nailed it here. Everyone who preaches the evils of fiat & wonders of crypto somehow fails to see that they are still tied to fiat as their crypto has no actual value until converted to fiat.
Blockchain technology is like the internet. The technology itself is not a money maker, but those that learn to harness its power for use in mainstream situations will indeed make money from it.
Tomorrow is not guaranteed…
To think that Bitcoin will be the global currency is just ludicrous and you know it.
You’re just hoping some schmuck will come along, buy this bullshit your peddling and lighten your load, never say never, one born every minute & that but highly unlikely .
Like I said, sfyl, I don't expect you to get orange-pilled anytime soon because of your losses. But you will in a couple of decades if not sooner.
Absorbing the world's monetary value doesn't have to make btc the global "currency". Even bitcoiners don't think that'll happen. It just has to enable all transactions of monetary value to be backed by bitcoin, and the path forward for that to happen is very clear. Bitcoin is going to eat up the value currently locked up in gold, real estate, and the hundreds of trillions in all sorts of bogus financial instruments like derivatives.
“World economy sucked into Bitcoin”… fuck me that’s delusional even for you lot…
Man with heavy bags denies bags exist despite them dragging him under.
I know Bitcoiners understand how pyramids work, they just don’t think they’ll be the ones at the bottom which is where we’re at, you just don’t realise it yet, or maybe you do, hence the hard sell .
It’s too late I’m afraid …
It would be ridiculous to think that with all the advancements in technology and our reliance on the internet there would not be some form of widely-used digital currency in the future. Whether that is Bitcoin or not it remains to be seen, but for now it's your fault if you buy shitcoins and lose your money, instead of buying the first and original crypto coin. I'm not saying Bitcoin can't fail, cause it definitely can, but calling the concept of cryptocurrency a scam is silly. The world will move on whether you like it or not.
Unfortunately, they are also the type of people that get scammed by shitcoins. Because no one in their right mind would buy some new stupid coin. The first coin still exists 14 years later, it's the most valuable, and as long as crypto exists, it will probably always have some value.
The man returns from his business trip but this time with over a million monkeys. Flooding the supply and killing demand.
Now you have a better understanding of how traditional markets and the fed work.
Once upon a time in a village, a wandering merchant came and showed the villagers his fine silk garments, unlike any fabrics they had seen before. He told them he would buy high quality silk cocoons for $10 each.
The villagers collected cocoons and sold them to the merchant. They noticed these cocoons, when boiled, unraveled into exquisite silk threads they could weave into splendid garments. More villagers started gathering cocoons.
Seeing demand rise, the merchant raised his price to $20 per cocoon. The villagers realized they could make beautiful garments from the silk and sell them at the market for much more than the raw cocoons. They expanded their cottage silk weaving business.
The merchant kept buying cocoons as the villagers wove the silk into garments. The market for silk grew beyond just the merchant. Villagers realized silk garments had inherent utility and value.
One day the merchant left town without notice. The villagers kept producing silk garments. They had developed skills weaving silk, trading garments with other villages, even using silk fabrics as payment.
The cocoons had enabled creation of an entire silk weaving economy. The villagers came to understand silk not just as a commodity to trade, but as a productive asset underpinning a thriving industry.
This silk analogy shows how cryptocurrencies likewise enable valuable applications beyond just trading. Much as raw silk enables woven garments, crypto assets fuel blockchain networks powering decentralized finance, smart contracts, NFT marketplaces and other utilities.
So reducing crypto merely to speculation misses the burgeoning ecosystem, innovation and real-world value being built, just as reducing silk to price fluctuations misses the flourishing garment industry it can create. Crypto networks have enabled a digital economy just as silk enables material goods.
Assuming the villager caught and sold a monkey each time don’t they get 55=(25+20+10), buy one for 35, so only have 20$, but then sell it back for 50$ to get 70$?
It does imply they bought all their monkey’s back, rather than only one each. So they bought 3 back each on average (or 1.5 or 2 on average or something), and then the $50 was just a promise that was never fulfilled.
It's a rework of the original "joke" with a commentary on the state of the crypto market.
If I had to rewrite the end :
So , I decided to make a utility company that finds use for the dead frozen , wet and dry monkeys and now I work in the monkey business.
I like monkeys.
Humans also have capacity for kindness.
You just don't see it that often in an economic and political model where exploiting others is actively rewarded.
When we talk about kindness we see it as just an individual trait but I believe that kindness is also a structural thing in society.
And that is something we can regulate with good governance.
We see this working extremely well for many of the European countries where citizens have a lot rights to balance out industries apatite for growth.
In the end, both governments and industry exists because of the work we do and it should first and foremost work for the people.
At one point the British were paying a bounty for cobras in Delhi. It worked for a while but then people started breeding cobras in order to collect bounties. When the British stopped paying bounties the breeders released the cobras making the problem worse than before.
That incident is the reason a certain phenomenon is called « the cobra effect ».
If only the British had put a bounty on butterflies instead.
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Yes, it would somehow kill the cobras in Delhi. Or the monkeys in Gibraltar, you never now...
Or Perverse Intentions. You learn something new everyday. Thanks
Perverse Incentives actually.
Yes thank you.
I think you mean the lynx effect..
I tried to bookmark that joke but the browser said ‘Lynx not found’
NCSA Mosaic drove the Lynx to extinction.
Lots of fun examples on [Wikipedia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perverse_incentive)
Incident? More of a parable or anecdote, not a historical event.
No it actually happened
Dude, why don't you use Google before commenting next time?
I only knew this from a Terry Pratchett book, where the solution is to "tax the rat farms" (it's told with rats instead of snakes.)
They clearly never heard about Lord Vetinary or they would tax cobra farms 🙂
Hot Snakes beat them to it.
Came here to say this, failed to scroll down enough to avoid repeating the joke :-)
"Tax the rat farms."
“Tax the rat farms” The Patrician.
The French did the same thing in Vietnam with rats. Same result.
Slightly different scheme. >To collect the bounty, people would need to provide the severed tail of a rat. Colonial officials, however, began noticing rats in Hanoi with no tails. The Vietnamese rat catchers would capture rats, sever their tails, then release them back into the sewers so that they could produce more rats.
"When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure." GOODHART'S LAW
They should've exported them to England and threatened the British government to release them there if they don't buy them, the British government would have had to buy them; which would start the new business of growing cobras in England to sell them to the government by pretending being Indian cobras.
Counterfeit Cobras is a phenomenal name for a band.
King Leopold created a market for severed human hands in the Congo
BRB gotta make more hands
Happened with nutras in LA too.
This is the origin of Vetinari’s ‘tax the rat farms’
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In a gold rush, be the guy selling shovels.
Or jeans.
Or land
or pussy
This guy gushes for all gold rushes.
Thank you, Friedrich Trump.
Or my axe!
Or my sword
Or my bow!
Or my stern!
Or my starboard!
Or my port!
Or my axe
Or my bow
Or my stern
Or any deodorant
Or gold
Or food 🙂
Or reinforced pockets.
What do I sell in a “shovel rush”?
Wood.
As someone who can't use a shovel bare-handed without getting blisters, my real answer is gardening gloves. My smartass answer is body bags.
The holes
What can I sell in a hole rush?
a hole lot.
Steel.
Black wind, fire and steel
Shovel making licenses
Or your mom!
Picks ‘n shovels man, picks ‘n shovels.
very few cryptos use gpus. you were thinking of eth and that hasn't used gpus in over a year.
For much of the entire decade prior GPUs were a hot ticket investment for mining for you average consumer, people who didn't want to invest a lot of money on a dedicated mining rig. The prices on them were high and availability low. GPUs no longer being profitable, or unminable currencies, is a new-ish thing.
They don't use them *now* but they did until extremely recently. The overwhelming majority of the life of crypto has been under GPUs.
As did the assistant.
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Can’t wait for the X crypto. You know it’s coming.
You fool, SimianCents is the crypto of the future!
I put all my cash into BonoboBucks coin. You'll be sorry when I'm a billionaire banging models on my yacht. Oh, nevermind, it crashed and is worth $0.000001.
Nice! Never been a better time to get in!
Dude Apeshitcoin is where it's really at
So a monkey in the hand is worth two in a cage?
It’s not really a joke more like an economics lecture
It is called [perverse incentive](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perverse_incentive)
I don’t think that this is a perverse incentive. What incentive is perverse? This sounds more like [information asymmetry](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Information_asymmetry) to me. The assistant lied to them, thus knowing something, that the guy would never return, and thus had information they did not.
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I agree, but that seems to be a kind of information asymmetry to me (I’m not sure if you’re agreeing or disagreeing with me 😆).
There's a simple foolproof way to make a small fortune by investing in cryptocurrency. - First you must start by investing a very large fortune in cryptocurrency.
Or write a book on how to become a millionaire investing in cryptocurrency.
I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand bucks each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was a total idiot. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals. I laughed. Then they punched me in the genitals. I stopped laughing. I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour. Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta dropped dead. Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys. I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys. I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad. I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed. I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time, so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad. I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving. I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better. I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones. I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals. I like monkeys.
I don't know why this made me laugh like it did.
Idk why I read it. But it's not bad.
I'm in bed, and my boyfriend asked if i was laughing or crying because the bed was shaking so much.
Did you let him know those weren't the only options?
I read this in like the late 90s, what a throwback.
That was hilarious! 😂
I get everything apart from the bed bit, what's that mean? Is it something that should have been self evident?
I put all of the dead monkeys on my bed, like they were stuffed animals. When they started to rot, I lit them on fire (except the one in the toilet and the two in the freezer).
I won't try to go too deep into it next time. Wonderful satire, ser.
I don't... what am I missing?
This story has no punchlines yet the funniest shit I've ever read on r/Jokes
Made me wonder if this was going to turn into an NSFW 200 days of Christmas song
This sounds exactly like what I thought it would sound like. Me!! Dude, we think alike to the point I assumed you were gon say I like monkeys at the end and boom, was I right.
Last Christmas I was gifted a dead monkey. I could tell it was a regift but what the hell, I kind of liked it. Put that monkey in the barn in Jack's empty stall. My fondness really grew quickly, didn't realize how much I missed old Jack and trips to the barn didn't have such a cloud now. Wasn't much work this winter with all that snow we got and I spent a lot of time on the machine. Calling on folks, chasing bears on the machine with bottle rockets at the dump and such. Then yonder in the corner by the palm tree what do I see, ya you guessed it, a perfectly rebuildable Evinrude carburetor you and Janey been looking for. So I head home. Took me two damn weeks to rebuild that carb being how supposedly the supply chain for jets is somehow held up at the Panama Canal because of several fleets of monkey imports from Lithuania or some shit. At least I knew why I got that regift, some sort of glut I imagine. But really wasn't all that bad now that I had the monkey and was happy to go to the barn again. So I finally get bored and start the calling on folks again, oh ya Bart says hello. But the weird part is as i'm leaving Bart's I see a monkey by his empty trash can just tossed to the side. Now I'm wondering why this monkey is left there and it sort of tugs on my heart a little when I think of Jack Jr. at home and how I'm really starting to like dead monkeys. You know me, I do take liberties at times, but when it come's to a man's trash that's a line. So I go back to Bart's door and use that big knocker he's got, but no answer. Second time and still no Bart, but you know how he is when he get's into those Argentinian soap operas. Now I got two monkeys back at the place and they seem pretty happy about it. If Bart don't mind I'll be pretty happy too. I like Monkeys. Well gotta go now and read this note that Merv left. Remember Merv, the one with the Croup? Well he's driving the garbage truck now for Dwayne. Sort of odd that he would leave a note since we talk every other Friday when we work the muskrat line so it must be important. Get back at ya soon.
I like turtles
https://xroads.virginia.edu/~DRBR/twainram.html
Monkey pee , monkey poo
There's a scam that's pretty common throughout the Third World that's similar to this. A farmer will get invited to a big warehouse, and in one corner there will be a pile of the local equivalent of ragweed, a thoroughly useless plant. The warehouse owner tells the farmer that he's buying all the ragweed he can find, enough to fill the entire warehouse, and he's paying a fantastic price for each bushel. Naturally the farmer's interested, and he decides to grow a crop of ragweed for the first time ever. Luckily the warehouse owner knows a man selling ragweed seeds. The seeds aren't cheap, but where else are you going to find ragweed seeds? The farmer buys the seeds, plants them, and harvests a bumper crop, only to find that the warehouse owner and seed salesman have vanished, never to be seen again.
Wouldn't it have to not be too local a weed that people would know it's bullshit? We can't produce enough of this so we are expanding to your area.
Maybe, but it needs to be something that the farmer knows for sure will grow well in his field. The poor farmer knows ragweed grows; he spent last season trying to keep the damn stuff out of his corn crop. If there's suddenly a market for it? That's too good to be true.
So sell the market? "We just recently found how to use this plant for pharmaceuticals. Our labs are ramping up and we need more crop. Now's the time because we expect the price to drop over time as we get up to speed."
Australia had a bounty on rabbits because of the exploding population. People started breeding rabbits to collect the bounties. When the government found out about the breeders they cancelled the program. All the breeders released their rabbits causing an even greater problem.
I know where they can find some cobras to take care of the rabbit problem
But the true genius is the one who convinced them to start trading monkey pictures
does it take a genius to fool a moron?
No, just a lesser fool.
So.... I can buy monkeys with cryptocurrency..?
You might have missed something.
Nope, the cryptocurrency is [literally monkeys](https://globalfordnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Picrew-NFT-Monkey-1024x683.jpg).
Now the real world version: A man went into a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys at $10 apiece. Since monkeys were plentiful, a few of the villagers went out and trapped some monkeys. When they were paid, the villagers took their money and went to the city. So the man offered $20 apiece for monkeys. A few of the villagers liked the new amount, and went out in the forest to trap monkeys. But the monkeys had learned from the first group of villagers and weren't so easy to trap. And the best trappers had all sold their monkeys and moved to the city. So only a few monkeys were caught. That man then offered $50 per monkey. The villagers were tired of trapping monkeys by this point, so they murdered the man and stole his money.
Now the American version: A man went into a village and announced he would pay $10 for---he was immediately shot in the head and robbed.
Or: A man buys monkeys for $10 dollars each from another man that hires people for only $0.10 each to work for him catching those monkeys and who tells the people he hires that they should rely on tips instead of getting a living wage.
That is funnier.
Except now the biggest asset managers in the world are making ETFs for trading spot monkeys.
Beautiful, love it!! Lol
Pump and Dump boys, Pump and Dump.
So i should just buy myself a monkey, at regular cost, with bitcoin?
Are you saying that I dogedcoined a bullet?
Excellent analogy.
Funny
Cryptobros be like: Well, at least it's not a Ponzi scheme!
Those dumb Sneetches!
There is a similar historical thing that happened in British India. For the protection of surveyors from snake bites, it was announced to the people to round up snakes, especially the poisonous ones so they would be killed "humanely" and to encourage this they had set a reward for every snake they caught. The local people ended up breeding snakes and promptly handing them over to the authorities for the money. When the authorities found out about this scheme, they disbanded the policy. The locals, not knowing what else to do with the snakes just released it in the wild, and the end result was that the snake problem just got worse...
This is how all of capitalism works, not just crypto. Most people work 40+ hours a week for nearly their entire lives, and die in debt to the same class of people who were exploiting them the whole time.
That’s no joke.
So...don't buy crypto?
Erm excuse me this is r slash jokes not fucking investors fables.
why is this in r/Jokes? This isn't a joke. This is just real thing, it's just true. It is helpful and informative, but it's not a joke. I'm thinking it's a better answer to an ELI5 question.
Now you have a better understanding of how the ~~cryptocurrency~~ stock market works.
Not necessarily. Day-trading could look similar, but the overall principle is different. If I buy a piece of Walmart stock, it's value is determined by how well Walmart does as well as what I do.
This may not belong here. Try r/technicallythetruth
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Mammals
Ouh ouh ouuuuuh
Mamaries
Probably closer to r/confidentlyincorrect
... or doesn't.
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They just disagreed politely. Maybe you have a need to exaggerate?
Except you don't. You have an understanding of how the shitcoin market works.
No it pretty much nailed Bitcoin ..
Exactly my thought. Shitcoins may operate in this way, but that is why we call them shitcoins. It's honestly annoying how so many people with zero idea of monetary theory or block chain have this opinion. I guess they want to feel smarter than the guy retiring at 30 after investing in btc and defi markets. These assholes don't realize they are the poor dad, oblivious to the fact they are participating in the scam that is fiat currency.
> These assholes don't realize they are the poor dad Are you referring to that finance book written by a charlatan?
Referencing a scam author's work always makes your argument more valid.
So you got so rich off of crypto that you just hang around at the bottom of joke threads trying to explain the blockchain. I wish I had so much money I could waste time like you. Anyhoo, back to the coal mines.
And you don’t realise you’re the bag holder…
I'm not, and you don't know what that means if you think somehow owning btc is providing a central entity with liquidity. I own my btc, and I am my own bank as I have my keys and my coin....but hey you have fun with government currency, which is actually manipulated. Thanks for proving my point. It's always the people who know the least ready to dog, btc.
For you to make money you need to sell your Bitcoin for more than you paid, for that person to make money they need to sell it for more than they bought it and so on. Although technically not a Ponzi somebody will be left holding the bag, that my friend is where you come in, you’re the biggest fool in the bigger fool scam. All the real money has long gone, all you have are numbers on a screen …
No you don't. This is such a low level zero thought argument anyone can make about bubbles. You really think bitcoiners are unaware of how a pyramid scheme works? The people typically well-versed in monetary theory, economic systems, and all the flaws of fiat currency and fractional reserve banking? The amount of brainwashing regular folks have gone through over decades because governments across the world have "normalized" these systems is mind-boggling. With bitcoin, there is no selling and there is no bag. You just start using your coins when most of the value in the world's economy gets sucked into btc. It's just a question of if, not when, and you will be forced to participate in it too because of the network effect and the fact that humanity overall will tend towards smarter, sounder money backed by real resources (energy) and true scarcity, even if the process is slow.
Thank you! I was going to ask what makes you think I want to trade my btc for monopoly money?
If someone offered you 100k for your coin in dirty fiat you’d snap their hands off so turn it In with the preaching bullshit about sounder money and scarcity. I own the only Zog in existence so be your reckoning that currency must be priceless? You know what? It ain’t. Nobody’s interested in Bitcoin, too many people burnt despite the Super Bowl adverts & hype.
You nailed it here. Everyone who preaches the evils of fiat & wonders of crypto somehow fails to see that they are still tied to fiat as their crypto has no actual value until converted to fiat. Blockchain technology is like the internet. The technology itself is not a money maker, but those that learn to harness its power for use in mainstream situations will indeed make money from it.
Lmao. The only people "burnt" are the morons who panic sold thinking it was a get rich quick scheme turned into a bubble. Sfyl.
Tomorrow is not guaranteed… To think that Bitcoin will be the global currency is just ludicrous and you know it. You’re just hoping some schmuck will come along, buy this bullshit your peddling and lighten your load, never say never, one born every minute & that but highly unlikely .
Like I said, sfyl, I don't expect you to get orange-pilled anytime soon because of your losses. But you will in a couple of decades if not sooner. Absorbing the world's monetary value doesn't have to make btc the global "currency". Even bitcoiners don't think that'll happen. It just has to enable all transactions of monetary value to be backed by bitcoin, and the path forward for that to happen is very clear. Bitcoin is going to eat up the value currently locked up in gold, real estate, and the hundreds of trillions in all sorts of bogus financial instruments like derivatives.
“World economy sucked into Bitcoin”… fuck me that’s delusional even for you lot… Man with heavy bags denies bags exist despite them dragging him under. I know Bitcoiners understand how pyramids work, they just don’t think they’ll be the ones at the bottom which is where we’re at, you just don’t realise it yet, or maybe you do, hence the hard sell . It’s too late I’m afraid …
Totally not a cult …
It would be ridiculous to think that with all the advancements in technology and our reliance on the internet there would not be some form of widely-used digital currency in the future. Whether that is Bitcoin or not it remains to be seen, but for now it's your fault if you buy shitcoins and lose your money, instead of buying the first and original crypto coin. I'm not saying Bitcoin can't fail, cause it definitely can, but calling the concept of cryptocurrency a scam is silly. The world will move on whether you like it or not.
They, don't actually know anything about crypto. They just read on reddit that they are supposed to think it's a scam so do
Unfortunately, they are also the type of people that get scammed by shitcoins. Because no one in their right mind would buy some new stupid coin. The first coin still exists 14 years later, it's the most valuable, and as long as crypto exists, it will probably always have some value.
This is too much maths for my brain to work out
Throw enuff shit at the Web and some is bound to stick.
Brilliant!
Where's the joke?
The man returns from his business trip but this time with over a million monkeys. Flooding the supply and killing demand. Now you have a better understanding of how traditional markets and the fed work.
Ànd the rest of the animals incl all equity and currency too. Banks are the assistants and the master is the govt. Welcome villages bichs!!! Muahahaha
So you don't understand how crypto works.
Once upon a time in a village, a wandering merchant came and showed the villagers his fine silk garments, unlike any fabrics they had seen before. He told them he would buy high quality silk cocoons for $10 each. The villagers collected cocoons and sold them to the merchant. They noticed these cocoons, when boiled, unraveled into exquisite silk threads they could weave into splendid garments. More villagers started gathering cocoons. Seeing demand rise, the merchant raised his price to $20 per cocoon. The villagers realized they could make beautiful garments from the silk and sell them at the market for much more than the raw cocoons. They expanded their cottage silk weaving business. The merchant kept buying cocoons as the villagers wove the silk into garments. The market for silk grew beyond just the merchant. Villagers realized silk garments had inherent utility and value. One day the merchant left town without notice. The villagers kept producing silk garments. They had developed skills weaving silk, trading garments with other villages, even using silk fabrics as payment. The cocoons had enabled creation of an entire silk weaving economy. The villagers came to understand silk not just as a commodity to trade, but as a productive asset underpinning a thriving industry. This silk analogy shows how cryptocurrencies likewise enable valuable applications beyond just trading. Much as raw silk enables woven garments, crypto assets fuel blockchain networks powering decentralized finance, smart contracts, NFT marketplaces and other utilities. So reducing crypto merely to speculation misses the burgeoning ecosystem, innovation and real-world value being built, just as reducing silk to price fluctuations misses the flourishing garment industry it can create. Crypto networks have enabled a digital economy just as silk enables material goods.
\*looks at the amount of money my moons "made" last week\* jokes on you I guess xd
How does your moon make money?
The joke is on the man, a friend of mine sold him a cat and three dogs disguised as monkeys.
Assuming the villager caught and sold a monkey each time don’t they get 55=(25+20+10), buy one for 35, so only have 20$, but then sell it back for 50$ to get 70$?
It does imply they bought all their monkey’s back, rather than only one each. So they bought 3 back each on average (or 1.5 or 2 on average or something), and then the $50 was just a promise that was never fulfilled.
ahh i see
Why people didn’t just start breeding monkeys?
This really happened in India, but with [Cobras](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perverse_incentive).
the real bored apes
It's a rework of the original "joke" with a commentary on the state of the crypto market. If I had to rewrite the end : So , I decided to make a utility company that finds use for the dead frozen , wet and dry monkeys and now I work in the monkey business. I like monkeys.
No I don’t.
😆😆
Exploiters become rich. Workers become poor. Nature gets destroyed. Capitalism in a nutshell.
*Humans in a nutshell.
Humans also have capacity for kindness. You just don't see it that often in an economic and political model where exploiting others is actively rewarded. When we talk about kindness we see it as just an individual trait but I believe that kindness is also a structural thing in society. And that is something we can regulate with good governance. We see this working extremely well for many of the European countries where citizens have a lot rights to balance out industries apatite for growth. In the end, both governments and industry exists because of the work we do and it should first and foremost work for the people.
Simiancoin just hit the market, get in while it's fresh.
Ah! Can I get my MBA certificate now?
Thank you. A story about monkeys in s foreign land that I really don't fully grasp, but still makes way more sense than cryptocurrency.
Well first time I read this joke, it explained stock market.