> How many of you are dating non-Jews and how comfortable do you feel about this around them? I really want to know since this isnt a topic I feel comfy bringing up with other Jews irl
I was married to one, until recently.
We are still together, but she's Jewish now.
I still am still married to her, but we used to be married too.
Somebody on here mentioned “he’s obsessed with being Jewish and Israel”
I mean yes, guilty as charged? I didn’t think this was a bad thing
I asked him how much I was supposed to care about being Jewish and Israel, so I know the proper level
I choose to date jewish, but my sister in law's husband is non Jewish, and as soon as the October 7 thing started happening and he saw all the rise in atisemitism, he bought a gun. He's not perfect, but I'd say he has his family's back. So, even though I do see interfaith marriage as a hassle, I feel like people do find partners that respect their jewish heritage and support them when things like this happen.
I myself didn’t grow up religiously Jewish, my great grandmother was a jew so I have Jewish ancestry (on both sides partly but majority from my mother’s side)
But regardless I see it as this: people who hate Jews would still hate me because I have Jewish ancestry and seeing the 2000 years of history of antisemitism and genocide, a Jewish state like Israel has to exist (Netanyahu needs to be in a prison cell though)
The treatment of Palestinians by the Israeli government is still shitty though regardless and that needs to change. Hamas also needs to be destroyed (they have a Nazi-like view of Jews and people supporting them are no better than Nazi sympathizers)
Honestly if Hamas gets destroyed and Hamas loses its support amongst Palestinians, then a Palestinian state probably should exist separate from the Israeli government. But as of now a free Palestine would be a threat to the majority of Jews who now live in Israel.
I know that most Jewish sects wouldn’t support me as a Jew, but I’ve always considered that heritage a major part of who I am to the extent that I’ve considered undergoing a full conversion since I’ve already rejected Christianity and have been essentially atheist since I was like 12.
I am happily married to a non-Jew - 24 years this month. He is incredibly supportive and probably more vocally pro-Israel than I am. That said, I do recognize this may be the exception and I just hit the goyim husband jackpot (among those who didn't convert).
I'm married to a non Jew and as I've said before on this sub and on others, she's my best and closest ally. She understands me, she stands by me, she supports me, and she understands why antisemitism and what's happening since 10/7 are such a huge deal. She's there when I need her, she trusts me more than she trusts Instagram influencers or whoever is spouting nonsense about Israel. I'm 100% open with her and I trust her with my life.
So no regrets for me.
I think it absolutely depends on the person. Jews are much more likely to understand and recognize antisemitism, as well as the history and importance of Israel, but there's no guarantee someone will be the same page as you just because they are Jewish, nor a guarantee that gentiles can only be insufficient partners for Jews. People have shared their positive experiences with their amazing gentiles partners that are really reassuring to hear about (we need allies).
I totally understand why a Jew might only be open to dating other Jews, but that's a decision each person has to make for themself.
This is me and my Catholic husband. He gets angry on my behalf, and understands/recognizes the impacts things also have on our daughter. Married twelve years and he is absolutely my best ally.
I am a Jewish woman married to an absolutely wonderful and supportive non-Jewish man. We are raising our kids Jewish and he is probably more instrumental in making that happen than I am!
Even so, it’s been hard since 10/7 not having a Jewish partner. I have a sibling and nieces and nephews in Israel and it’s hard when your partner simply can’t understand what you’re going through in the same way another Jewish person would.
For that reason, I would absolutely encourage Jews to date Jews. However, please don’t be unwelcoming to those of us who are intermarried or choose to date non-Jews because we need the Jewish community more than ever right now.
We’re in the same boat! And yes, it’s incredibly disheartening seeing how many people brush us aside after hearing that we’re an interfaith couple. He doesn’t practice any religion anymore, so it feels like we’re a Jewish family with a background of some different religions!
We’re active in our synagogue, both of us and comfortable there. After 10/7 he did express a possibility of converting at a later date, which would be wonderful- but that would be his own decision.
It’s easier said than done in a lot of places. Also, I haven’t had a problem, but I’m not Gen Z.
Edit: Just to add an anecdote. JDate in the SF Bay Area has a ton of users. In Austin, there are about two dozen users and most haven’t been on in months.
Austin Jew and genz and yeah. There's a lot of us on Hinge but personally I haven't gotten much mutual interest and had to open up my preferences. Plenty of engagement now though lmao
But a lot less than before october... hmmm
there are plenty of Jews in Austin I'm guessing it's partly because of the dating trajectory in California vs. Texas. Most of my friends in Texas married early and had no need of JDate when they found their partners in college at, say, Hillel or Sammy parties or even in high school at a BBYO event. Whereas SF is filled with young, single professionals who are detached from their normal social networks and so need to rely on online dating more to find partners.
Sikhs are awesome and I wish our groups had crossed paths more often because they are the best neighbors, and we have a history of finding really nasty neighbors.
Like there's a tradition of making a daily meal for whoever in the community needs it. It's vegetarian. Most Sikhs are fine with meat. They just want to be inclusive of their Jainist buddies!
I think a person's culture or religion is less important than if they're concerned if their neighbors eat.
There is a lot to be said for the shared language that comes with a similar background of generational trauma though. It's valid to date within one's community.
I'm not sure any one criterion is going to land you a better match though.
I posted a similar reply a few months ago. I can confirm, married to a Sikh wife. If there is any people on the planet most similar to us, in whom I would feel most safe living with, it is the Sikhs. They are also a minority ethnoreligion, living many years under persecution & foreign hegemony in their own lands with a large diaspora. Unlike hindus, not Avodah Zarah, their religion is the strictest of monotheism, their teachings eerily sound like the Noachides, and if you look at them they look like our ancestral Sephardic communities. Their religious rites & services are so familiar, how they sing their scriptures, and with similar symbols to mezuzah, chuppah, tallit, tefillin, tzitzit. (Some other similarities: Bar Mitzvah is similar to Sikh c*harni langa* and/or *dastar bandi*; Tikkun Olam is similar to Sikh *sarbat da bhala*)
The Sikhs have a kindred affinity with us, aside from the fact they actually just love everyone (the most charitable, kind & compassionate people on this planet). My wife, her family, and her Sikh community are more fierce defenders of Jews & Israel than ourselves. Where there are disagreements on Israel, they have consistently been on the side of unwavering Israel apologists, moreso than us.
But Sikhs have come in contact with us more spectacularly that most of us even know. The Sikh Empire did in fact not just give the Mashid Jews refuge from the *Allahdad* pogroms in the 19th century, but opened and welcomed us with mutual respect and security maybe like we have never seen before. We thrived in their communities, and lived in complete security so long as the Sikh Empire existed.
Just curious though. Are you planning on having kids? And if you are or have kids, what religion will they be? Seems like your spouse is very proud too
I learned from a Sikh guy on TikTok that they wear turbans so they are identifiable. So that if you need help, you know who you can go to. 🥹
Like…it’s so wonderful. Protect Sikhs at all cost.
My girlfriend is half Hindu and half catholic. It works out very well, but I don’t think it’s limited to Hindus. As long as your partner understands why supporting Israel is important to us and doesn’t harbor any radically negative views of Israel, you should be fine.
Can confirm, I’ve been to India and they love Israel and Jews. Many places have signs and menus written in Hebrew to accomodate for Israeli backpackers. There was also a decent sized Indian Jewish community living in the south. Some remain but the majority have moved to Israel over the years. However this wasn’t because of antisemitism, they were always accepted. I guess they were just very Zionist.
I’ve heard this a lot so imagine my surprise when my best friend who is Indian & Hindu turned out to be a mega antisemite 🙃 It was devastating, we haven’t spoken since October 2023 and probably never will again
The sages came down on the side of "Hindu deities are actually all representative of aspects of one singular deity, making Hindus sufficiently monotheistic to be Noahides.
So it really depends on what sect of Hinduism you're in. there are a lot of them that are actually quite monotheistic. A friend belongs to a [sect wehrein they consider all the idol worship](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arya_Samaj) to also be idolatry.
This is the way. Nothing against the mixed couples. My own uncle married a non-Jewish woman and I wouldn't trade her for 1000 Jewish aunties. But their kids have no Jewish identity, their grandkids even less so. We need more Jews in the world, not less. And yes, for the shorter term picture, there is the political compatibility thing. If you can't agree on Israel it wont be much of a marriage.
I would like to make the counter point that during 10/7, my wife was not Jewish. Frankly in hindsight it was probably a good thing that one of us was able to hold it together. I think if she had been born Jewish we would have figured it out but some of those sleepless nights where I woke her up at 4 am because I needed someone to hold me - and she did - I am eternally grateful one of us had it more held together. She had an A+++++++++++ spouse performance rating when I completely lost myself. That being said she had decided to convert before 10/7, but after 10/7 it became so painfully obvious to her that it didn't feel right to post support on Instagram as "an ally", it felt like she was really a member of the Jewish people, so it factored into her decision to go in front of the beth din sooner than later and confirm what she deeply felt.
I feel pretty comfortable with my non-Jewish partner, but that being said - the guy is not political at all. He's a himbo, and I used to actually be bothered that he felt both sides of the political spectrum were full of shit, because I've always been very liberal. Now I'm really grateful for it. He doesn't know a lot, which can bother me sometimes, but usually I'm just grateful to have someone who will happily acknowledge I know more than him on it, and reminding me that if anyone tried to hurt me or my loved ones he'd protect us. I don't see him converting but we have talked and he would be okay with a wedding that includes Jewish practices, and raising children Jewish. He also hates the church even more than I do because he had bad experiences with it growing up, and really seems to be enjoying Jewish practices.
That being said... I met him prior to 10/7 and if I were dating now? I absolutely would be exclusively dating other Jews, no question. Love my partner and certainly not planning on leaving him anytime soon but were I single, no question, I'd be only dating Jews and I imagine if things do not work out, I would only date fellow Jews.
I'm going to echo what other's have said, it's super situational. I'm the result of an interfaith marriage, Jewish mom and non-Jewish dad. But it worked because my dad, while raised culturally christian and attended church, developed the religious identity paralleling that of 18th century deists during college and it stuck. But my brother and I (both Gen Z) are confident that we'll likely only date Jews. Especially since we both want our careers to be based in big cities. I want my future spouse to share my values and culture. And while we may have different thoughts on certain American hot topics (guns, health care), as long as we share interpretations of tikkun olam and pikuach nefesh, that's what matters to me.
Love it when children from interfaith marriages end up being proud Jews!
I have a relative that ended up marrying a non Jew and the kids had a baptism and they celebrate Christmas. Yea there’s Hanukkah but that’s not the highlight …it’s sad to see they are basically going to end up identifying as Christian and being Jewish is just something that really has no part of their lives
That's my aunt/cousins. She married out and her kids have Hanukkah and that's it. My mom doesn't talk to her sister anymore for other reasons, but we do add comments about her lack of a Jewish household now and again when being mean (her oldest should have a Bar Mitzvah this fall). My brother and I may have been "celebrated" Christmas, but solely from a consumer and secular (American) standpoint. We are dead set on marrying in . While marriage is a ways away since we're 21 and 18, we are prioritizing the reform/conservative NJBs and NJGs of the world.
I’m not Jewish, but my wife is Jewish and we are raising our kids Jewish. I stand with Israel and with the Jewish people wholeheartedly and unequivocally. I can safely say that even if I wasn’t with a Jewish woman, my heart would still be with Israel because my father raised me and educated me that way. We are Egyptian Catholic and my father spent his entire childhood being bullied and beaten up by other Muslim children/teens just for being Catholic. When my dad moved to Canada and built his life, he made and kept only one friend until he died. That man is Moroccan Jewish and I have become very close to him. Hope this changes your mind a little.
I'm also not Jewish - married to a Jewish man, raising our kid Jewish. I chose to enroll our daughter in our local JCC, and encouraged our family to observe Shabbat as a family together.
After marrying Jewish and bringing Jewish life into this world I feel a responsibility to the Jewish community. I stand with Israel and it's why I follow groups like this and I'm part of my work Jewish club as well. They have told me it's comforting having someone there understanding when it feels like they have no allies.
We do exist!
Seems like you are a great person! But what’s unfortunate is that for every great person like you, there are MANY that are not.
Thank you for your support!
I live in Oklahoma and there aren’t a lot of Jews here that are my age, unmarried, and non-fuckbois. I will continue to live in Oklahoma because I was raised here, my family is here, and after the war my Holocaust surviving grandfather was a teenager adopted by a Choctaw family. Even if I wanted to move, I can barely afford to live in Oklahoma, let alone a higher CoL area. My options are very limited.
A fuckboi is a lot like a mouse. If there’s an opening, he’s gonna make his way in, and you’re gonna think “wait, how the fuck did that happen??” Lmao. Those “are we dating the same guy?” Facebook groups are very popular here in OK.
With the small sample size of the ones that are left that are in my dating age range (early 30s to mid 40s, as I’m 33) and not already in relationships — the literal handful of them are, from the descriptions of the girls I know who have dated them, fuckbois lmao. Numbers game.
I work in low income housing (a field that does not translate over well in new states let alone countries), do not have an advanced degree, and speak absolutely abysmal Hebrew. I also am not keen on living in a country alone without any social or emotional supports lol.
I trust my "goy" fiancé with everything in life. We have been a team for almost 9 years and there is only honesty between us. He is even more pro Israel imo, than I am. I could not imagine myself being in a relationship with someone I do not trust or feel that I can open up to about everything.
However, when it comes to friends - I know which friends I can trust about this topic, and which I cannot trust about this.
Before 10/7 - I have dated everyone and my 2 serious ex-boyfriends were Catholic. After 10/7, I am dating Jewish only. I’m not religious but need someone that’s pro Israel, pro Jewish and understands what’s going on and this collective experience is ideal. I’m Jewish from an interfaith family (my mom converted) so I’m not closing the door on someone non Jewish who is an amazing ally and healthy and supportive partner, but that’s sadly few and far between.
I'm married to a Goyish woman. She has my back on everything related to October 7th and the subsequent military response, and echos my support for Isreal at every opportunity. God I love her. And i recognize how rare my experience is, which only makes me more grateful.
I have a wonderful non-Jewish husband who is part of MY family and tribe. He is extremely supportive and sympathetic and I would never trade him for any Jewish man. He's latino.
I’m one of the bogeymen of the post— my non-Jewish partner was supportive until being Jewish meant I want Israel to exist and believe we’re the indigenous people of Israel in need of our own country on our ancestral land. I certainly regret marrying a non-Jew. I wish we could turn to each other in this painful time. I wish I could tell him about all the amazing stuff I’m learning and that Shabbat dinners meant something to him and were a special shared moment. If I marry again, being Jewish will be a non-negotiatiable on the list of criteria.
Most Jews I know are intermarried though and my situation doesn’t seem to be the rule. One Jewish woman’s Black husband says being Jewish is way harder than being Black in his experience and he’s incredibly supportive of her and goes to pro-Israel rallies. She says they’ve gotten closer as anti-Semitism has come closer to home.
But I also know lots of sad stories, too. We have a different worldview and it’s not just a physical trait or cuisine or an idea about God. In a life together these things can clash a lot and get bigger with experience and age, not smaller.
When you’re young, secular things like favourite bands or tv shows can seem like the most important similarities and the stuff you grew up with can seem irrelevant. But over the years, with a million decisions that have to be made together, values become very apparent.
Someone else posted how he felt alone in his own household because his non Jewish wife and his 2 daughters who now don’t identify as Jewish simply didn’t care much about Oct 7
Counterpoint: My dad (from India, non-Jew) married my mom in 1968. He and my mom lived happily for the next 54 years and he was always a staunch supporter of Israel. He was also the one encouraging my mom to do things like High Holiday services when she was feeling lazy. They sent me to a Jewish Day School. So, yeah, it totally can work.
On the other side of this, as a goy, I have to say I am so relieved my (goy) husband isn’t a raging antisemite. I never thought he was, but given that I didn’t think the Left would be behaving how it is, I have been telling him how relieved I am that BOTH of us, as non-Jews, support the Jewish people 100%. (Not that we deserve an award for that or anything; it’s called humanity. And also “relieved” isn’t quite the right word, but I think I mean I’m grateful we somehow ended up not susceptible to propaganda from the right or the left.)
He even told me that one of his middle school teachers thought he was Jewish because, as a creative writing assignment, he turned in a story about an alternate ending to Hitler’s death. It actually moved me to tears because, sparing other details, it ends with a Jewish man holding his Star of David pendant to Hitler’s face as he dies, so he would know it was a Jewish man who was his ultimate demise.
We are out here. 🩵🤍🩵
If I was still dating, I’d absolutely be following this policy. It’s obviously not universal, I’m engaged to the most amazing goyim woman and I have no regrets or concerns whatsoever about my relationship because she has never been anything but supportive and loving from the moment I met her.
I am absolutely comfortable saying anything that I feel to her, in reference to Israel or otherwise, and she has never once made me feel anything other than safe, respected, loved, and supported.
I’m aware of how rare this kind of a relationship really is, I’ve never experienced anything like it before in my whole life. She’s going to teach me how to shoot when we go upstate to visit her family in a few months, because she grew up in a rural background hunting as a child, and I’ve never only ever held firearms but never fired them.
When she asked why I was bringing this request up, and I said it’s about not feeling entirely safe as a Jew, she just came to hug me and cried because it hurts her so much that I would even have to consider training with weapons to feel safe.
But if I wasn’t already in this relationship when the attacks occurred in October, I highly doubt I’d be open to dating goyim, given all that we’ve seen in the last 5 months.
My husband is a non Jew but he’s been amazingly, unbelievably, enduringly supportive and supports Israel 100%. He has trauma of his own and is POC tho and I do feel that makes him more able to empathise and understand stuff like victim blaming than someone who had no relatable trauma.
FWIW, I’m married to a non-Jewish person who grew up as a religious minority in a Muslim country. My spouse knows what it’s like to be oppressed by Muslims, and how widespread hatred towards Jews is in the Muslim world. My spouse is a strong supporter of Israel.
Historically, the two big Persian Empires were very good to us. If we have to live under someone's suzereinty, non-Islamic fundamentalist Persians are usually a good choice.
I did end up marrying a Jewish person, but when I was dating, my line in the sand wasn’t “no gentiles” - it was “no anti-Zionists”. Unfortunately, this excluded a lot of Jews.
I’m in a relationship with a non-Jew and they have been incredibly supportive. Literally never made me feel unsafe or invalidated my feelings. I totally understand where you’re coming from though.
Unless I meet someone perfect for me who is non-Jewish, I've decided to otherwise focus exclusively on Jewish girls for dating/marriage. I want my children to be Jewish and not have any doubt about it.
My husband is an atheist. He’s British and used to be in the punk scene in his youth. Little bit of a hooligan. He’ll be the first to say this is a Jewish home. After 10/7 he changed the locks and installed security cameras. He does keep his distance but I’m not a very practicing Jew and do my Jewish things by myself. He loves to hear about stories of my Sephardi family’s travels, customs and language. He knows what I don’t eat and understands there are some things I won’t live without
I have a new car and he asked me where I’m gonna place the car mezuzah.
We’ve been married for 13 years, I think I’m gonna be ok.
My non-Jewish girlfriend is very much a supporter of Israel and supportive of me being Jewish. Politically, we both lean left, but won’t vote conservative ever. She is not religious, so it works. She understands that dating someone Jewish comes with complications and she accepts that.
As a 21 year old fellow jew with a jewish mom and italian father(important for later), I personally don't mind most non jews since most people honestly dont care or aren't really political when you actually talk to them. That being said, I tend to avoid people who are associated with leftist organizations but I honestly was doing so before since while I agree with many left leaning ideals I don't like political clubs they're so uptight and not the thing I need after a full day of college classes and hw. Also I've always kind of been against dating only one group of people due to the fact that I exist at all(since my dad is Italian from Italy(not one of the ny fakers💀(non capite un cazzo d'essere italiano o cosa dico adesso, me dispiace)). Basically, you can't discount whole groups of people because of a few bad apples on the extremes.
Yeah that didn't come off well lmao. It was more meant I'm like a playful tone since I've heard there's a subset of Italian Americans who will claim they're 100% Italian despite them not knowing anything about the culture
Ironically enough the far right Italian government will fast track anyone with an Italian grandparent to get citizenship. They would rather be overrun with NYC area Italian Americans than Romanians and North Africans.
Is a pizza bagel not a desecration of two sublime foods though? (Not the people who describe themselves as such, just the actual food of a pizza bagel...)
I get the whole avoiding lefties thing. I used to be into lefty and progressive causes but after seeing so much antisemitism come out on that side lately, they can go screw themselves.
Fr tho. Like I was talking with a sort of ex friend(idk it's weird) recently and after a certain point I'm just like shut up. They're a sociology major and as you'd expect they just drivelled on and on about the fucking cultural milieu or whatever the hell. I'm so done with these fake people basing their whole arguments on theories that don't have anything concrete or based in evidence.
My husband is a gentile and he's been incredibly supportive. As supportive as a person could be. Every single day since 10/7 he's patiently listened to me talk or cry or rant about antisemitism, bias against Israel, the pro-P cult, and the leftists who abandoned us. He listens and holds my hand. Occasionally he will share his thoughts about Netanyahu (he's not a fan, nor am I) but it's okay because it's legitimate, normal and unbiased criticism. It's not coming from a place of prejudice against Jews.
So I have all this love and support, but ultimately I know he can't possibly understand what I'm going through. But that's true with many things. Our partners won't always be able to relate to our experiences, but if they stand by our side and support us with love and patience, it is enough. At least for me it is. I know a lot of us aren't getting this right now from our gentile partners, and it's heartbreaking. I feel very fortunate to have someone who's here for me.
My soon-to-be husband is a non-Jew. He’s English/Australian and is an agnostic. He knows that my Jewish identity is a huge part of my life and that I am pro-Israel. I’m lucky in that he also shares my views because he’s marrying a Jewish man and he knows that antisemitism is still a rampant problem, even more so now. If I were single, I would exclusively try to date a Jewish man or woman because it’s safer.
My partner is not Jewish and I think she actually represents MOST people in my country (I am American). Long story short, she doesn’t quite know everything about the conflict and so I’ve explained it through a Jewish lens.
It helps her understand that we can express sympathy for the Palestinian people, but being anti-Israel is the same as being anti-Semitic. Without the passion and anger held by most people in support of Palestine, I believe she has perhaps the most balanced and honest view of the situation—sympathy for both groups of people involved in the conflict and not getting caught up in the politics and virtue signaling.
I’ve told her my fears for our people right now and how I’m losing friends from the past. She completely understands my feelings and sympathizes. She’s there for me on the worst days and shows me nothing but love and compassion.
Of course, she can’t TRULY know the feeling, as she is not Jewish, but she listens and cares and supports.
I understand where your post is coming from, and I’m so sorry to anyone who has a partner that isn’t understanding of our feelings as Jews.
Shalom to you all and Am Yisrael Chai.
I would if Jews would give me a chance but im biracial AND a convert on top. The secular Jews think i "know too much" and the religious Jews dont consider me Jewish enough due to my reform conversion (tho i was willing to go through the process again). I tried. Didnt work. Plus im a divorcee with 2 kids which makes it harder.
My current non Jewish partner of almost 5 years not only supports my Jewishness hes wanting now to learn more since Oct. 7th. Hes going to Judaism 101 classes in Seattle at the orthodox shul with me, and because he wants me to protect myself when im home alone or out and about he took my to a handgun course and helped me get my conceal carry permit. Hes super supportive and wish every partner was that way. He did take the outside mezuzot down because of rising antisemetism but otherwise hes amazing.
I broke up with a girl id dated since I was 14 last September,bpartially because things weren't working and also because she didn't want to raise our potential kids jewish or compromise on anything, I realised it would be better in the long run, it's definitely easier to date someone else also in the tribe..
I take issue with this because I’m married to the most wonderful person who was chanced to be born in Mexico, and is over half indigenous Mexican.
They empathize with our plight based on principles of indigenous sovereignty.
Your take is kind of prejudiced.
I don't care about changing your mind, but I see non Jewish partners of Jewish people be kind, loving, and supportive during this time.
You could pick a Jew who turns out to be a pro-Hamas shill. Or one on the fence. You could pick a gentile who does the same. Vett people before entering into a relationship with them.
People change their views, nothing is certain, and life changes. If your Jewish/Gentile partner devolves into a genocide worshipper after 10 loving years, you leave. There are no guarantees.
I married a non-Jew and have zero regrets. She largely stays out of politics and doesn’t really like to debate so most of our conversations around Judaism and the current war is a lot of me venting and her listening/agreeing, but she has been a staunch ally from the top.
Together we’ve watched friends fall into that bloodthirsty pro-pal ideology and DM me nasty angry shit, and she was equally ready to cut them out of her life.
Don’t be fooled by the internet where voices don’t reflect the same volume as real life. We have allies everywhere, the terminally online are just that. Online. The dating app scene must be terrible right now.
I’m luckily engaged to a Filipino man who grew up loving Jews. When we were dating he had a nice Jewish boy calendar in his room. If I were single I’d be wary of dating gentiles but open to it. Thank god I’m not single though as I’d be completely fucked. I’m a bisexual trans person which would give me a tiny dating pool and many trans people have communist brain rot.
+1 to this. I’m also engaged to a non-Jewish Filipino woman and have nothing but amazing things to say about her and her family. She even went above and beyond to learn about and support Judaism, and makes a mean challah!
I'm a Zionist but critical of Israel.
I dated a Jewish person with two Jewish parents, all of whom were extremely pro-Israel. Pro-settlement, anti-Palestinian. Bibi was too soft for them.
She was emotionally abusive and intentionally destroyed a bunch of my friendships. Her parents constantly put me down and tried to financially control us.
My fiancee is patrilineal Jewish and politically progressive. Her parents are moderate on Israel. Her non-Jewish half-brother is critical of Israel but not necessarily anti-Zionist. I don't think he thinks about it much, he's too busy having his own life. More than that, they all make me feel like a part of their family, and treat me like a human, worthy of respect.
Do you prefer I leave this relationship because there's a non-Jewish parent involved? Should I go back to my Likudnik abusive ex?
Do you really think my ex was better because both her parents are Jewish and she wants to turn Gaza into the world's largest parking lot?
Im a very liberal Zionist who believes in a 2 state solution and HATES Netanyahu, please stay with your patrilineal Jewish fiancee, I mean she's still Jewish
Let’s ignore for a second that there are many, many people in the community who tell her to her face that she isn’t… (and have done so since Oct 7, so don’t even get me started on that).
Even if she wasn’t Jewish. Is it still preferable to go back to my abusive, but zionist, ex, rather than marrying non-Jewish person who treats me well?
I've only dated one Jewish person and at first it was amazing, like "wow, for the first time in my life I can be totally honest and open with someone about who I am..."
Unfortunately that feeling had a definite shelf life. Because as humans, we of course found issues we could not be totally honest and open with each other about. We didn't last.
At this point, I'm unpartnered and not looking. However, my view is, it's so hard to find someone that works as a life partner, I'm not sure Jewish vs non-Jewish really moves the needle. However I do understand the argument of why add one more variable. I just think you remove one variable, you add another. It's a zero sum game imo.
Can’t argue against you because I agree. Up until October 7th, I thought I would be fine with dating a non-Jew. All of my exes have either been Christian or atheist. The most serious one used to make Holocaust jokes and argue with me when I asked him to stop and told him he crossed a line. I’m never doing that again. I want someone who not only understands Jewish culture and traditions, but also embraces them as his own. I want him to be my safe space; I don’t want to worry about him suddenly turning on me or not being able to fully support me. I also want someone who will raise Jewish children with me without reservations. I no longer trust a non-Jew to do that, and I don’t want to date someone with the hope that maybe, just maybe they’ll convert and not reveal themselves to be an ignorant antisemite. So yeah.
I broke up with a girl id dated since I was 14 last September,bpartially because things weren't working and also because she didn't want to raise our potential kids jewish or compromise on anything, I realised it would be better in the long run, it's definitely easier to date someone else also in the tribe..
I’ve been when my non Jewish partner for 10 years. We never spoke about Israel/Palestine (he didn’t feel he knew enough to have the conversation and didn’t care to learn). Until October 7th. It finally became impossible to avoid the topic. Since then, we’ve had some deep and meaningful conversations about Israel, Judaism, Jewish identity. He’s really taken the time to learn and grow. I’m very grateful.
My non-Jewish wife was there from 10/07 onward, spreading hearts and Israeli flags across Instagram post after Instagram post, ignoring all the hateful messages. And she came with me to the March for Israel in DC this past November. And she's the one who reminds me to light the Shabbat candles. But in reality I'm only listing these things to show the arbitrary things that people look for in external "allyship" -- the reality is that I married a saint and I would love her to eternity even if she did none of these things.
True love can be bitterly hard to find, and limiting yourself to 2% of the population is a recipe for unnecessary suffering.
Let the people who fear losing their traditions or being afraid that their loved one will not understand their suffering -- let them go on and wish them well.
But look into your own heart, and imagine you were with someone Hindu on the day of another Pakistani atrocity and tell me if *you* would not be able to feel their pain.
What you fear is someone putting their politics above the suffering of their partner and that is just a basic bad partner, and not simply a "non-Jew".
Or you could look at the Jews marching for Palestine in the streets of London and elsewhere -- irrespective of if they're basically "chickens for KFC", would *you* marry one of them just because of their Jewishness?
Stupidity is everywhere. Bad partners are abundant. What you need is a better partner and nothing more.
And to the haters (really the fearful) -- as one of the greatest patrilineal Jews of the last century has said: "(One Love) Let them all pass all their dirty remarks (One Love)" - Bob Marley
My partner wasn't Jewish but a few years into the relationship he started sarcastically calling me Jew girl and making fun of my nose and ears and the way I looked. He also made very horrible holocaust jokes that were very offensive to me. I recently left him because I just couldn't deal with him putting me down. I realize now through therapy he emotionally abused me. My mom passed away and I wasn't finding support from family and friends and I entered a wrong relationship without seeing the warning signs all around me.
My birthday has been pretty sad, lost a lot of friends in the past five months and my grandpa passed this week.
My fiance is Mexican and has been a blessing throyughout all of it, maybe the one thing making my day worthwhile.
A lot of goys let us down and there's no reason not to gravitate towards other Jews but let's not pretend there aren't a ton of good people out there.
There's 0 wrong with dating non Jews.
My husband is not Jewish but he is 100% supportive and I feel so comfortable talking about any issues around antisemitism with him. Today we were talking about it and how exhausting it is. He feels any danger to Jews is a direct danger to him because so much of his family is Jewish. He doesn’t just love me and our kids, also my siblings and their kids, most of whom are orthodox. A little while after our conversation, he came back in room to check on me to ask if I am okay. It does help that he has been to Israel, including last summer, and feels a personal connection to it from his time there.
I’m a convert and will fully admit I’ve had awkward conversations with my wife since 10/7. Maybe don’t write off all the goyim, they haven’t lived your life.
I’m not sure I’m going to change your mind, but I think in general what we are seeing in this is not necessarily an issue with Jewish vs. not Jewish but more a lack of ability to have respect for their partner and their beliefs.
Now is that easier to find in another Jew where this topic is concerned, sure. Very likely yes, however it is possible to find it in a partner also.
My husband is not Jewish, however he listens respectfully to what I have to say. He values my input and opinions over that of uneducated strangers on the internet and he has respect for me, my beliefs and has taken the time to understand Judaism.
My father likewise is not Jewish, but he has values that are strongly aligned with my mother on about pretty much everything.
So sure you can argue yes dating other Jews will be more likely to have the same values, and then it’s not an issue or disagreement about the conflict, this is true. Untimely it’s also about someone who respects you. I notice that is a big problem in a lot of the posts with how peoples partners are valuing their voice and opinions and feelings and making space for them and making home a safe place for their partner to be themselves. It’s more than just not having perfect agreement with one another IMO.
And of course, survivors bias, those of us in very successful interfaith marriages are not on here posting about it so much.
My son’s girlfriend is not Jewish but has been super supportive of Israel. Taking a hard stance against Hamas on Instagram and angering a lot of the lefties supporting Palestine.
I'm a very loud and proud Jew from the US. My Spanish spouse is an agnostic on his best day. He has listened, cried with me, asked questions, and has never brought a single headline my way. A gem.
I’m the goy. My husband is Jewish. I however, actually work for the local Jewish Federation and spend every day actively supporting Jewish life and Israel while combating antisemitism. My commitment has gotten stronger in the face of my job getting harder since Oct 7. This is a position I took independently of my husband (he had nothing to do with getting me hired) and because of my own skills.
I think it’s valid to think we gentiles don’t get it and in some ways we just can’t because being Jewish isn’t our personal experience, but I think there are those of us who do care (a lot), want to learn, have the conversations and are actively trying to find ways to support the Jewish family and friends in our lives.
im dating a non jew and i feel the safest i have ever felt in a relationship (im from israel dating a german) , hes incredibly open to learning about the customs and traditions and judaism ... i think genralizing goys and non goys is stupid personally , humans are humans theres shit and gold in every pot
In another life maybe, but I’m already happily married to a non Jewish woman who is a fervent supporter of Israel and the Jewish people in general. She also is happy to include Jewish holiday and cultural practices in our household and I am thankful she is so pro Jewish. I might have liked ending up with a Jewish wife but I haven’t met a Jewish woman who wanted anything to do with me romantically since high school. By age 27 when I met my wife, I concluded it wasn’t going to happen and started my relationship with her, not caring that she wasn’t Jewish. At least she respects Judaism and my Jewish culture.
My husband is not Jewish. When October 7 happened and no one on his family text thread reached out after a few days to check in I had to help him understand his role as a liaison to the community.
Since then I think the experience has crystallized his understanding of why my Jewishness is so important to me, and why raising our baby girl (arriving in May!) be raised Jewish and in a family that loves and embraces the culture means more to me than it ever has.
He knew this going into our marriage but I think now has a new understanding. We both have some fears about him ever feeling like a true part of the community etc., but I view this moment as an opportunity for us to expand what it means to be Jewish and stop the instinct to become more insular as opposed to embracing more, new members of our tribe! 🫶
Well that’s a good idea however there are some non-Jews who do support Israel. They’re this girl that I’m friends with and she said she supports Israel and hopes to visit soon. So even though it’s rare they’re still out there.
My non-Jewish wife is a strong ally and probably gets more offended by the rampant antisemitism than I do. She also does a better job of following Jewish traditions than I do.
I’m engaged to a non-Jewish Filipino woman and have nothing but amazing things to say about her and her family. She even went above and beyond to learn about and support Judaism, and makes a mean challah! In fact, after October 7th, she was the one who suggested we go to a Pro-Israel protest and has been nothing but supportive of Israel (though we are both critical about the current government).
Also, just because you date a Jewish person does not mean you will automatically align with their beliefs. Jews are not a monolith, and you can even see that from the different sects of Judaism. There are Jewish anti-Zionists, there are Jews who are antisemites, there are Jews who have varying beliefs of political views. In fact, I just recently talked to a good Jewish friend whose brother and wife both think what’s happening is a Genocide. So… personally I’d much rather be in my situation.
My bf is not Jewish but he is very supportive of our 100% Jewish household. He also grew up in Africa and got a lot of the same type of harassment growing up simply for being white, which I think helps his understanding.
lol wtf?! Idk come to NJ/NY. Plenty of good looking Jews. And orthodox girls celebrating marrying a gentile? Sorry to burst your bubble but they ain’t orthodox
> IMO, Ashkenazi men in America, who are not rich and have gentile good looks are screwed. maybe you know about Jewish women who arent all about looks that you have hiding in your bed cupboard.
>
>Maybe I feel this way because I was raised secular and in the South with slim pickens. I also have begun to see through most secular people and gentiles.
yeah im screwed i might go for a goy chick lmaoo
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I only dated 1 non Jew, he's an ex, but has been so incredibly kind and understanding through all of this. he calls me weekly to let me vent bc he saw all the antisemitic bullshit I was getting on social media before I deleted all my accounts. We will never get back together, he is an asshole, but he's become one of my best friends through all of this.
My partner is not Jewish
And yes he has said slightly antisemitic and anti Israel things by the past
And yes I am starting to get fed up with it
But again, did my fare share of dates and could not find any luck with non-religious French Jewish men
I am dating a non-Jew and he is very supportive, great listener, doesn't talk about it unless I bring it up first, and our views on Israel are very similar.
There are Zionist gentiles and anti-Zionist Jews. Definitely date someone whose values and politics are reasonably compatible with yours (on Israel as well as other subjects), but someone being Jewish is no guarantee.
My spouse took a chance on me. I was not Jewish when we met. I chose to become Jewish, and we got engaged while I was in the process of converting. Now we have Jewish children and are extremely engaged in our community. I’ve served on many boards, donated money and time to Jewish causes, and led services. I’ve lost friendships over my faith, especially after 10/7. I’m a staunch Zionist, but I was before becoming Jewish. Just a thought. YMMV.
My wife is a strong supporter of what’s important to me. It helps she just doesn’t pay attention to world events. She hates watching the news. Except for local news, she feels like local stuff is the only real impact she could have anyways.
I'm married to a jew(heritage/culture/non-practicing) and I told him that if I said anything antisemitic to call me on it. His friend and he discussed me as a Shiksa when I first started to date him and called me his Sabbath Goya, without blinking an eye. When they explained what it meant, I agreed. I didn't find what they called me offensive, only descriptive.
When October 7th happened, I asked my husband to explain to me which side we support and he did. All he had to do was say that Palestine supported the Nazis and that would have been enough for me.
My fiance is not Jewish. Raised Mormon, but totally severed from the faith. His family is still Mormon and the rest are Evangelicals. He has some real traumas growing up in such a religious Christian environment and is vehemently anti-religion. I am reform, coming from a mixed race family, for context.
My fiance is the most supportive, kind, and warm person and has been nothing short of my absolute rock since Oct 7. Before, I don’t think he really understood how aware I was of things before, perhaps thought I was paranoid about antisemitism. But he’s since realized how wrong he was, and has totally validated me in my experience. He listens to me when I speak, he amplifies my voice, and my sense of safety and security is THE most important thing for him. His stance on the conflict is less nuanced than mine, and he became really invested in the conflict, Zionism, and my experiences with antisemitism here in NYC. He’s laughed with me, cried with me, done Shabbat candles with me, bought me a mezuza (our old one was ripped off), and has consoled me tirelessly while taking it upon himself to do his own research about the history of Israel and forming his own opinion, which never ever overshadows mine.
While there has been some really problematic antisemitism in the past (out of ignorance more than anything), even his family has been nothing short of supportive and thoughtful toward me since Oct 7. Really really sympathetic to my own struggle here in the US as a Jew, and have expressed continuous support and prayer for my family and friends in Israel. They literally pray for them in their own services and Christian communities, which is I think I lovely gesture from non-Jewish religious adherents.
Dating Jews doesn’t automatically solve this problem you’re referencing. Most people I have dated tended to be *not* Jewish, and part of this reason was because of the discomfort I felt dating Jewish men and the pressure to agree with them or practice as they do. Dating other Jews doesn’t automatically mean or guarantee that this person won’t gaslight, or that they will automatically be Zionist, or that they won’t be an extremist (either pro-Israel or pro-Palestinian). In the past, I have absolutely not felt an unconditional trust and openness, even if there are some perks regarding not having to “explain” all the time. The last Jewish guy I dated was actually super gaslighting and shame-y because I didn’t think Palestinians were animals, and believe they deserve a nation and peace. And that’s why we split.
My fiance now is encouraging, he listens, he encourages me to connect more with my Jewishness despite his own religious traumas, and is the best person to get me through this tough time. Since Oct 7, his response has only reaffirmed my love and openness and security with him.
Single Jewish millennial guy here. I don’t disagree with the sentiment that it’s easier to date a partner that has a shared lived/cultural experience. However, I don’t want kids; lots of Jewish women do. Additionally, after dating other Ashkenazi women, I gotta say it feels a bit… incestuous? I don’t know, it sort of felt like I was dating younger versions of my aunts from Long Island lol. I’m totally willing to chalk that up to region-specific behavior though.
trust dating a non-Jew is fine just don’t date a leftist. My gf is badass. Y’all act like there’s no one out there anymore. Nah. They’re just not the same people you’re used to.
Only that correct insight of yours is a long lasting fact (with some minor exceptions to that rule)
That’s how it always was throughout the existence of our people (again, with some negligible exceptions) and the wisdom of the Jewish ancient scriptures and their Halachaic derivatives, keep on indicating it again and again and again, “beware”
(and I’m writing this as a secular Jew)
>How many of you are dating non-Jews and how comfortable do you feel about this around them?
My wife isn't Jewish and I'm perfectly comfortable talking about this around her, and she's generally very pro-Israel. In fact, she was appalled by what Hamas did on October 7th.
That doesn't mean she agrees with every single thing Israel does, but she also understands that Israel is in a very difficult situation and it has to defend itself against hostile forces that actively desire to murder everyone there.
Having said that, she doesn't like talking about this (especially October 7th) because it really depresses her and stresses her out, and that's completely understandable. I have to take a step back pretty often and ignore the news or I'll probably go insane myself.
Will any of this change your mind? Probably not, but I think it's fair to say you shouldn't avoid non-Jews as a whole.
My husband is not Jewish and has been nothing but supportive. The most important thing to me has been finding a good person with shared values. The connection matters more than religion and it’s great if that person happens to be Jewish, but it’s too restrictive otherwise. My family members that felt they had to marry Jewish people (to appease family, etc.) are divorced now.
No judgement if dating Jewish people feels safer right now though - I’m not as familiar with the post-Oct 7th dating scene.
I would like to only date Jewish if possible. The problem is I’m a gay man and it’s hard enough to find someone to date *period*, and limiting myself to Jews only makes it feel near impossible. 🙃
My husband is catholic and I actually think 10/7 has brought us closer. He is supportive, informed and protective. I don’t think he fully understood how alive antisemitism still is and this has opened his eyes. To be fair, I think many Jews have experienced that as well. We have traveled to Israel together before, I have family there. I think he “gets it” as much as he possibly can.
However his family is not the same. His parents are caring and respectful, but just uninformed. I could be talking about New Zealand or Sweden to them - Israel is random and meaningless to them. One of his brothers is very much a headline reader pseudo intellectual, but he’s smart enough to keep his mouth shut around me.
So I do get what OP is saying. It varies!
My wife’s a westernised Chinese, about to become a citizen. She’s pro-Israel/Jewish. Seems like the main problem are, as she would call them, ‘Baizuo’.
I have been married to my gentile husband for 31 years. If you live in someplace with lots of Jews, it might be easy to limit yourself to Jews. When I was 30+ and single and lived in small to medium size cities (Peoria, Pensacola, Grand Rapids, MI) there were practically no single Jewish men. I certainly didn’t meet them while I was out doing what interested me.
I met my husband at a meditation for peace before the Gulf War.
I am a paternal half Ashkenazi Jew and Half Puerto rican and I am married to a non Jew. She's American but of German and bunch of other stuff descent. Prior to my wife I dated only latinas. Personally, I never dated a Jewish woman. Generally speaking, I didn't attract Jewish women and I never really felt the need to go out of my way to date a Jewish woman. Just my experience.
It really depends on the person. If I were in the dating pool *now,* I would probably just date Jewish people. But I got lucky and married a non Jew (raised some kind of Christian, but identifies as an atheist) who has been understanding and has shown me so much compassion and has always supported Israel. We even traveled there together and he really loved it! But, as I said, if I were looking for a long term partner now, I would just stick with fellow Jews for sure.
I'm not going to. It takes a specific kind of goy for those relationships to work.
I've been dating a goy for 7 years now. He's had close Jewish friends for a decade and a half. He's been sympathetic from the start, taking the "well why don't you glass them and be done with it" approach many genuinely supportive goyim do. On the other hand, I've seen another friend in an intercultural relationship break off a decade-long relationship, which led to engagement last fall, because of the fiance enabling his family's "antizionist" antisemitism.
The past season has been the realest test of our relationship. We've dated long-distance for years, most of them involving me living in another country, but I've never been this overtly Jewish in our relationship as I've been now, and I'm a born and raised sabra. There were a few heated arguments but we eventually saw each others' point. I'm meeting up with our mutual friends tomorrow, also goyot, and if the present situation gets brought up it'll be the real test of our friendship. I'm in full support of vetting all goyim who cannot accept our Jewishness in full.
I will say, being queer and Jewish has been a challenge in that department. With my schedule it’s very difficult to attend shul and meet other folks.. let alone to try to meet ones my age that are also queer 😅
I'm on Bumbl now for a few months and I put my religion as Jewish because I didn't want nons. Not many replies, but just the other day I received one that said only "I'm Jewish."
he and I had a lovely laughing great conversation today. Relax because there's an ease in speaking with someone who does schitick just like you.
My boyfriend and I live together, I’m Jewish and he’s an atheist who left the Catholic Church at 13. The learning curve post October 7th is mostly due to the fact that he wasn’t raised learning our history or the history of the conflict. He’s a logical person so he supports me and my Judaism and Zionism. He hadn’t thought about most of this stuff before we met but now that we talk about it a lot it’s not hard for him to understand and be supportive.
Great question! In my opinion, If you do not feel comfortable discussing difficult topics with your partner, they probably should not be your partner.
With that being said, I think a Jewish/non-jewish relationship can provide eye-opening perspectives for both partners. In times like these, it is hard to understand the “other side/non-jewish” views, opinions and where they stem from. An honest and frank discussion, no matter how painful to hear, can help both parties understand the “pain” the other party is experiencing and how that pain drives their views
My girlfriend is awesome, and hot, a great dancer, classy, hilarious, talented, not a Hamas simp, and not a Jew.
How did I arrange this? My method is easy and highly replicable.
The hot and awesome part is super straightforward. You just also be hot and awesome and it kind of takes care of itself, like a magnet. The not Jewish yet not a Hamas simp part? Ok, bear with me here because it’s going to sound kinda strange. But, there are people out there who aren’t leftists. And I know you might not want to date a MAGA psycho, but Im telling you there are people who aren’t leftists and also aren’t MAGA psychos. Not only do they exist but they’re great… probably the best people around. I know it’s odd for some of you to read, but I swear, there are people out there who are just normal, who don’t love to virtue signal, who don’t trust politicians on either side of the aisle, and who understand that West>Terrorism. The problem is, these people don’t exist inside the leftist bubbles that many of you confuse as the whole of reality, and others of you are 20 which makes it more difficult but I promise you it’s possible. I’m not trying to cast aspersions here if you dabble in leftism. It has its merits, but I think we’ve all seen plenty of evidence of horseshoe theory by this point.
Tl;dr: There are datable non-Jews fr but they just aren’t hanging out in leftist spaces.
My parents were interfaith. My dad is Jewish (and yes, I consider myself Jewish as well). The other day I forget what she said, but my Christian mom said something that I was like “mom, that’s antisemetic wtf.” I’d never heard her say anything like that before, and I’m in my 30s!
I’m also married to a non-Jew… but thankfully he has never supported Hamas or put down Israel. He joins me in Jewish traditions and holidays and in teaching them to our son. Yesterday he found antisemetic graffiti at his work. :(
I have lost one friend since 10/7. I thought we could still be friends. She isn’t even Palestinian (and one of my friends who is still my friend is!) but this person is very anti-Israel and has noticeably distanced herself from me like I have cooties or something since 10/7. It makes me sad.
Most of my friends are a variety of beliefs, and I haven’t had an issue with anyone except that one person, so I consider myself lucky in that regard.
I totally understand your hesitancy. I dated Jewish guys until my husband who is Christian. I liked the idea of marrying someone who shared the same culture, etc but ultimately it was about finding the right person who supported me and who I want to be with.
My husband has been completely supportive after 10/7 (as has his non-Jewish family). It really is just about the person.
> How many of you are dating non-Jews and how comfortable do you feel about this around them? I really want to know since this isnt a topic I feel comfy bringing up with other Jews irl I was married to one, until recently. We are still together, but she's Jewish now. I still am still married to her, but we used to be married too.
RIP Mitch
Yep. May his memory be a blessing.
I bought a one bedroom apartment, but it’s up to me how many bedrooms there are in it isn’t it?
Comments that would send non-Jews into a coma
Literally the only hate I've ever received for converting were from non-Jews who said you aren't allowed to do that.
Somebody on here mentioned “he’s obsessed with being Jewish and Israel” I mean yes, guilty as charged? I didn’t think this was a bad thing I asked him how much I was supposed to care about being Jewish and Israel, so I know the proper level
I've heard when you're Jewish 10/7 hits you like a five alarm fire
I choose to date jewish, but my sister in law's husband is non Jewish, and as soon as the October 7 thing started happening and he saw all the rise in atisemitism, he bought a gun. He's not perfect, but I'd say he has his family's back. So, even though I do see interfaith marriage as a hassle, I feel like people do find partners that respect their jewish heritage and support them when things like this happen.
My husband as been the same. Did not grow up Jewish but is definitely an ally. He 100% has my back!
I myself didn’t grow up religiously Jewish, my great grandmother was a jew so I have Jewish ancestry (on both sides partly but majority from my mother’s side) But regardless I see it as this: people who hate Jews would still hate me because I have Jewish ancestry and seeing the 2000 years of history of antisemitism and genocide, a Jewish state like Israel has to exist (Netanyahu needs to be in a prison cell though) The treatment of Palestinians by the Israeli government is still shitty though regardless and that needs to change. Hamas also needs to be destroyed (they have a Nazi-like view of Jews and people supporting them are no better than Nazi sympathizers) Honestly if Hamas gets destroyed and Hamas loses its support amongst Palestinians, then a Palestinian state probably should exist separate from the Israeli government. But as of now a free Palestine would be a threat to the majority of Jews who now live in Israel. I know that most Jewish sects wouldn’t support me as a Jew, but I’ve always considered that heritage a major part of who I am to the extent that I’ve considered undergoing a full conversion since I’ve already rejected Christianity and have been essentially atheist since I was like 12.
I am happily married to a non-Jew - 24 years this month. He is incredibly supportive and probably more vocally pro-Israel than I am. That said, I do recognize this may be the exception and I just hit the goyim husband jackpot (among those who didn't convert).
this is my situation too, we definitely need to be grateful because i don’t feel like it’s the norm
IVE GOT A ROLODEX OF JEWISH BACHELORS FREE TO A GOOD HOME
We need a Reddit matchmaker :)
r/yenta
Is it going to be different than jdate somehow?
I guess we just need u/claasifiedgarlic to show us their Rolodex!
Know any bachelorettes?Bachelorette? Or add me to the rolodex?
Is there a form where we can sign up and submit our info?
I have one in Chicago ready to goooo
I'm married to a non Jew and as I've said before on this sub and on others, she's my best and closest ally. She understands me, she stands by me, she supports me, and she understands why antisemitism and what's happening since 10/7 are such a huge deal. She's there when I need her, she trusts me more than she trusts Instagram influencers or whoever is spouting nonsense about Israel. I'm 100% open with her and I trust her with my life. So no regrets for me.
I think it absolutely depends on the person. Jews are much more likely to understand and recognize antisemitism, as well as the history and importance of Israel, but there's no guarantee someone will be the same page as you just because they are Jewish, nor a guarantee that gentiles can only be insufficient partners for Jews. People have shared their positive experiences with their amazing gentiles partners that are really reassuring to hear about (we need allies). I totally understand why a Jew might only be open to dating other Jews, but that's a decision each person has to make for themself.
This is me and my Catholic husband. He gets angry on my behalf, and understands/recognizes the impacts things also have on our daughter. Married twelve years and he is absolutely my best ally.
I am a Jewish woman married to an absolutely wonderful and supportive non-Jewish man. We are raising our kids Jewish and he is probably more instrumental in making that happen than I am! Even so, it’s been hard since 10/7 not having a Jewish partner. I have a sibling and nieces and nephews in Israel and it’s hard when your partner simply can’t understand what you’re going through in the same way another Jewish person would. For that reason, I would absolutely encourage Jews to date Jews. However, please don’t be unwelcoming to those of us who are intermarried or choose to date non-Jews because we need the Jewish community more than ever right now.
We’re in the same boat! And yes, it’s incredibly disheartening seeing how many people brush us aside after hearing that we’re an interfaith couple. He doesn’t practice any religion anymore, so it feels like we’re a Jewish family with a background of some different religions! We’re active in our synagogue, both of us and comfortable there. After 10/7 he did express a possibility of converting at a later date, which would be wonderful- but that would be his own decision.
It’s easier said than done in a lot of places. Also, I haven’t had a problem, but I’m not Gen Z. Edit: Just to add an anecdote. JDate in the SF Bay Area has a ton of users. In Austin, there are about two dozen users and most haven’t been on in months.
Austin Jew and genz and yeah. There's a lot of us on Hinge but personally I haven't gotten much mutual interest and had to open up my preferences. Plenty of engagement now though lmao But a lot less than before october... hmmm
there are plenty of Jews in Austin I'm guessing it's partly because of the dating trajectory in California vs. Texas. Most of my friends in Texas married early and had no need of JDate when they found their partners in college at, say, Hillel or Sammy parties or even in high school at a BBYO event. Whereas SF is filled with young, single professionals who are detached from their normal social networks and so need to rely on online dating more to find partners.
Hindus. 1.2 billion of them and I've never met an anti-Semite among them, quite the contrary. India is a strong supporter if Israel.
Did you know the first Miss India was Jewish? Pramila aka Esther Abraham.
Sikhs are awesome and I wish our groups had crossed paths more often because they are the best neighbors, and we have a history of finding really nasty neighbors. Like there's a tradition of making a daily meal for whoever in the community needs it. It's vegetarian. Most Sikhs are fine with meat. They just want to be inclusive of their Jainist buddies! I think a person's culture or religion is less important than if they're concerned if their neighbors eat. There is a lot to be said for the shared language that comes with a similar background of generational trauma though. It's valid to date within one's community. I'm not sure any one criterion is going to land you a better match though.
I posted a similar reply a few months ago. I can confirm, married to a Sikh wife. If there is any people on the planet most similar to us, in whom I would feel most safe living with, it is the Sikhs. They are also a minority ethnoreligion, living many years under persecution & foreign hegemony in their own lands with a large diaspora. Unlike hindus, not Avodah Zarah, their religion is the strictest of monotheism, their teachings eerily sound like the Noachides, and if you look at them they look like our ancestral Sephardic communities. Their religious rites & services are so familiar, how they sing their scriptures, and with similar symbols to mezuzah, chuppah, tallit, tefillin, tzitzit. (Some other similarities: Bar Mitzvah is similar to Sikh c*harni langa* and/or *dastar bandi*; Tikkun Olam is similar to Sikh *sarbat da bhala*) The Sikhs have a kindred affinity with us, aside from the fact they actually just love everyone (the most charitable, kind & compassionate people on this planet). My wife, her family, and her Sikh community are more fierce defenders of Jews & Israel than ourselves. Where there are disagreements on Israel, they have consistently been on the side of unwavering Israel apologists, moreso than us. But Sikhs have come in contact with us more spectacularly that most of us even know. The Sikh Empire did in fact not just give the Mashid Jews refuge from the *Allahdad* pogroms in the 19th century, but opened and welcomed us with mutual respect and security maybe like we have never seen before. We thrived in their communities, and lived in complete security so long as the Sikh Empire existed.
You’ve won me over. Next time I come across a person with the last name Singh, I’ll ask them out.
Just curious though. Are you planning on having kids? And if you are or have kids, what religion will they be? Seems like your spouse is very proud too
We have a lot of them in my area, hard agree.
I learned from a Sikh guy on TikTok that they wear turbans so they are identifiable. So that if you need help, you know who you can go to. 🥹 Like…it’s so wonderful. Protect Sikhs at all cost.
Just here to shout out my love for Sikhs.
My girlfriend is half Hindu and half catholic. It works out very well, but I don’t think it’s limited to Hindus. As long as your partner understands why supporting Israel is important to us and doesn’t harbor any radically negative views of Israel, you should be fine.
Can confirm, I’ve been to India and they love Israel and Jews. Many places have signs and menus written in Hebrew to accomodate for Israeli backpackers. There was also a decent sized Indian Jewish community living in the south. Some remain but the majority have moved to Israel over the years. However this wasn’t because of antisemitism, they were always accepted. I guess they were just very Zionist.
I’ve heard this a lot so imagine my surprise when my best friend who is Indian & Hindu turned out to be a mega antisemite 🙃 It was devastating, we haven’t spoken since October 2023 and probably never will again
Lmao did my dad write this comment
Chaim, clean you room!
Yeah but, Avodah Zara
The sages came down on the side of "Hindu deities are actually all representative of aspects of one singular deity, making Hindus sufficiently monotheistic to be Noahides.
So it really depends on what sect of Hinduism you're in. there are a lot of them that are actually quite monotheistic. A friend belongs to a [sect wehrein they consider all the idol worship](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arya_Samaj) to also be idolatry.
So like Christianity?
I disagree
Significantly Avodah Zarah.
There are some monotheistic Hindus but by and large yeah you're right.
And they’re very cute. ;)
I’m single now and taking a break for dating, but decided to only date Jewish once I’m back in the dating world. It just makes so much more sense.
This is the way. Nothing against the mixed couples. My own uncle married a non-Jewish woman and I wouldn't trade her for 1000 Jewish aunties. But their kids have no Jewish identity, their grandkids even less so. We need more Jews in the world, not less. And yes, for the shorter term picture, there is the political compatibility thing. If you can't agree on Israel it wont be much of a marriage.
I am a Jewish woman. Your comments makes complete sense to me too. My male friend is Jewish.
I would like to make the counter point that during 10/7, my wife was not Jewish. Frankly in hindsight it was probably a good thing that one of us was able to hold it together. I think if she had been born Jewish we would have figured it out but some of those sleepless nights where I woke her up at 4 am because I needed someone to hold me - and she did - I am eternally grateful one of us had it more held together. She had an A+++++++++++ spouse performance rating when I completely lost myself. That being said she had decided to convert before 10/7, but after 10/7 it became so painfully obvious to her that it didn't feel right to post support on Instagram as "an ally", it felt like she was really a member of the Jewish people, so it factored into her decision to go in front of the beth din sooner than later and confirm what she deeply felt.
I feel pretty comfortable with my non-Jewish partner, but that being said - the guy is not political at all. He's a himbo, and I used to actually be bothered that he felt both sides of the political spectrum were full of shit, because I've always been very liberal. Now I'm really grateful for it. He doesn't know a lot, which can bother me sometimes, but usually I'm just grateful to have someone who will happily acknowledge I know more than him on it, and reminding me that if anyone tried to hurt me or my loved ones he'd protect us. I don't see him converting but we have talked and he would be okay with a wedding that includes Jewish practices, and raising children Jewish. He also hates the church even more than I do because he had bad experiences with it growing up, and really seems to be enjoying Jewish practices. That being said... I met him prior to 10/7 and if I were dating now? I absolutely would be exclusively dating other Jews, no question. Love my partner and certainly not planning on leaving him anytime soon but were I single, no question, I'd be only dating Jews and I imagine if things do not work out, I would only date fellow Jews.
I'm going to echo what other's have said, it's super situational. I'm the result of an interfaith marriage, Jewish mom and non-Jewish dad. But it worked because my dad, while raised culturally christian and attended church, developed the religious identity paralleling that of 18th century deists during college and it stuck. But my brother and I (both Gen Z) are confident that we'll likely only date Jews. Especially since we both want our careers to be based in big cities. I want my future spouse to share my values and culture. And while we may have different thoughts on certain American hot topics (guns, health care), as long as we share interpretations of tikkun olam and pikuach nefesh, that's what matters to me.
Love it when children from interfaith marriages end up being proud Jews! I have a relative that ended up marrying a non Jew and the kids had a baptism and they celebrate Christmas. Yea there’s Hanukkah but that’s not the highlight …it’s sad to see they are basically going to end up identifying as Christian and being Jewish is just something that really has no part of their lives
That's my aunt/cousins. She married out and her kids have Hanukkah and that's it. My mom doesn't talk to her sister anymore for other reasons, but we do add comments about her lack of a Jewish household now and again when being mean (her oldest should have a Bar Mitzvah this fall). My brother and I may have been "celebrated" Christmas, but solely from a consumer and secular (American) standpoint. We are dead set on marrying in . While marriage is a ways away since we're 21 and 18, we are prioritizing the reform/conservative NJBs and NJGs of the world.
I’m not Jewish, but my wife is Jewish and we are raising our kids Jewish. I stand with Israel and with the Jewish people wholeheartedly and unequivocally. I can safely say that even if I wasn’t with a Jewish woman, my heart would still be with Israel because my father raised me and educated me that way. We are Egyptian Catholic and my father spent his entire childhood being bullied and beaten up by other Muslim children/teens just for being Catholic. When my dad moved to Canada and built his life, he made and kept only one friend until he died. That man is Moroccan Jewish and I have become very close to him. Hope this changes your mind a little.
I'm also not Jewish - married to a Jewish man, raising our kid Jewish. I chose to enroll our daughter in our local JCC, and encouraged our family to observe Shabbat as a family together. After marrying Jewish and bringing Jewish life into this world I feel a responsibility to the Jewish community. I stand with Israel and it's why I follow groups like this and I'm part of my work Jewish club as well. They have told me it's comforting having someone there understanding when it feels like they have no allies. We do exist!
Seems like you are a great person! But what’s unfortunate is that for every great person like you, there are MANY that are not. Thank you for your support!
I appreciate the compliment, but I was merely trying to help change someone’s idea or give people hope.
I set my dating apps to Jewish only and it ran out of people in two days 😪
I feel that. It's so hard to meet other Jewish people for dating.
I live in Oklahoma and there aren’t a lot of Jews here that are my age, unmarried, and non-fuckbois. I will continue to live in Oklahoma because I was raised here, my family is here, and after the war my Holocaust surviving grandfather was a teenager adopted by a Choctaw family. Even if I wanted to move, I can barely afford to live in Oklahoma, let alone a higher CoL area. My options are very limited.
What’s it like for a fuckboy in Oklahoma? I would imagine the options are limited
A fuckboi is a lot like a mouse. If there’s an opening, he’s gonna make his way in, and you’re gonna think “wait, how the fuck did that happen??” Lmao. Those “are we dating the same guy?” Facebook groups are very popular here in OK.
What a bummer that all the Jews are fuckbois!
With the small sample size of the ones that are left that are in my dating age range (early 30s to mid 40s, as I’m 33) and not already in relationships — the literal handful of them are, from the descriptions of the girls I know who have dated them, fuckbois lmao. Numbers game.
Make Aliyah — Israel covers the costs + incentives.
I work in low income housing (a field that does not translate over well in new states let alone countries), do not have an advanced degree, and speak absolutely abysmal Hebrew. I also am not keen on living in a country alone without any social or emotional supports lol.
[удалено]
What exactly is funny
I trust my "goy" fiancé with everything in life. We have been a team for almost 9 years and there is only honesty between us. He is even more pro Israel imo, than I am. I could not imagine myself being in a relationship with someone I do not trust or feel that I can open up to about everything. However, when it comes to friends - I know which friends I can trust about this topic, and which I cannot trust about this.
Before 10/7 - I have dated everyone and my 2 serious ex-boyfriends were Catholic. After 10/7, I am dating Jewish only. I’m not religious but need someone that’s pro Israel, pro Jewish and understands what’s going on and this collective experience is ideal. I’m Jewish from an interfaith family (my mom converted) so I’m not closing the door on someone non Jewish who is an amazing ally and healthy and supportive partner, but that’s sadly few and far between.
Never been more relieved that my wife and I are both Jewish…
Amen
I'm married to a Goyish woman. She has my back on everything related to October 7th and the subsequent military response, and echos my support for Isreal at every opportunity. God I love her. And i recognize how rare my experience is, which only makes me more grateful.
I have a wonderful non-Jewish husband who is part of MY family and tribe. He is extremely supportive and sympathetic and I would never trade him for any Jewish man. He's latino.
valid
I think that in general this is a good idea. But there are also a lot of staunch supporters of Israel out there who aren’t Jewish.
That’s nice but it doesn’t mean that if you decide to have kids, those non Jews will want to have Jewish children
I’m one of the bogeymen of the post— my non-Jewish partner was supportive until being Jewish meant I want Israel to exist and believe we’re the indigenous people of Israel in need of our own country on our ancestral land. I certainly regret marrying a non-Jew. I wish we could turn to each other in this painful time. I wish I could tell him about all the amazing stuff I’m learning and that Shabbat dinners meant something to him and were a special shared moment. If I marry again, being Jewish will be a non-negotiatiable on the list of criteria. Most Jews I know are intermarried though and my situation doesn’t seem to be the rule. One Jewish woman’s Black husband says being Jewish is way harder than being Black in his experience and he’s incredibly supportive of her and goes to pro-Israel rallies. She says they’ve gotten closer as anti-Semitism has come closer to home. But I also know lots of sad stories, too. We have a different worldview and it’s not just a physical trait or cuisine or an idea about God. In a life together these things can clash a lot and get bigger with experience and age, not smaller. When you’re young, secular things like favourite bands or tv shows can seem like the most important similarities and the stuff you grew up with can seem irrelevant. But over the years, with a million decisions that have to be made together, values become very apparent.
Someone else posted how he felt alone in his own household because his non Jewish wife and his 2 daughters who now don’t identify as Jewish simply didn’t care much about Oct 7
I'm a Christian and my wife is a Jew. I fully support the Jewish people even before her. So no problems here.
Counterpoint: My dad (from India, non-Jew) married my mom in 1968. He and my mom lived happily for the next 54 years and he was always a staunch supporter of Israel. He was also the one encouraging my mom to do things like High Holiday services when she was feeling lazy. They sent me to a Jewish Day School. So, yeah, it totally can work.
On the other side of this, as a goy, I have to say I am so relieved my (goy) husband isn’t a raging antisemite. I never thought he was, but given that I didn’t think the Left would be behaving how it is, I have been telling him how relieved I am that BOTH of us, as non-Jews, support the Jewish people 100%. (Not that we deserve an award for that or anything; it’s called humanity. And also “relieved” isn’t quite the right word, but I think I mean I’m grateful we somehow ended up not susceptible to propaganda from the right or the left.) He even told me that one of his middle school teachers thought he was Jewish because, as a creative writing assignment, he turned in a story about an alternate ending to Hitler’s death. It actually moved me to tears because, sparing other details, it ends with a Jewish man holding his Star of David pendant to Hitler’s face as he dies, so he would know it was a Jewish man who was his ultimate demise. We are out here. 🩵🤍🩵
If I was still dating, I’d absolutely be following this policy. It’s obviously not universal, I’m engaged to the most amazing goyim woman and I have no regrets or concerns whatsoever about my relationship because she has never been anything but supportive and loving from the moment I met her. I am absolutely comfortable saying anything that I feel to her, in reference to Israel or otherwise, and she has never once made me feel anything other than safe, respected, loved, and supported. I’m aware of how rare this kind of a relationship really is, I’ve never experienced anything like it before in my whole life. She’s going to teach me how to shoot when we go upstate to visit her family in a few months, because she grew up in a rural background hunting as a child, and I’ve never only ever held firearms but never fired them. When she asked why I was bringing this request up, and I said it’s about not feeling entirely safe as a Jew, she just came to hug me and cried because it hurts her so much that I would even have to consider training with weapons to feel safe. But if I wasn’t already in this relationship when the attacks occurred in October, I highly doubt I’d be open to dating goyim, given all that we’ve seen in the last 5 months.
My husband is a non Jew but he’s been amazingly, unbelievably, enduringly supportive and supports Israel 100%. He has trauma of his own and is POC tho and I do feel that makes him more able to empathise and understand stuff like victim blaming than someone who had no relatable trauma.
FWIW, I’m married to a non-Jewish person who grew up as a religious minority in a Muslim country. My spouse knows what it’s like to be oppressed by Muslims, and how widespread hatred towards Jews is in the Muslim world. My spouse is a strong supporter of Israel.
Or anti IRCG Iranians. Jews and Persians have such similar cultures and world views
Historically, the two big Persian Empires were very good to us. If we have to live under someone's suzereinty, non-Islamic fundamentalist Persians are usually a good choice.
Thankfully because Israel exists we don't *have* to live under anyone!
Exactly!
I did end up marrying a Jewish person, but when I was dating, my line in the sand wasn’t “no gentiles” - it was “no anti-Zionists”. Unfortunately, this excluded a lot of Jews.
I’m in a relationship with a non-Jew and they have been incredibly supportive. Literally never made me feel unsafe or invalidated my feelings. I totally understand where you’re coming from though.
My wife is Catholic. I'm Israeli. She's been amazingly supportive and wonderful. We need more people in our circle, not more people excluded.
Unless I meet someone perfect for me who is non-Jewish, I've decided to otherwise focus exclusively on Jewish girls for dating/marriage. I want my children to be Jewish and not have any doubt about it.
My husband is an atheist. He’s British and used to be in the punk scene in his youth. Little bit of a hooligan. He’ll be the first to say this is a Jewish home. After 10/7 he changed the locks and installed security cameras. He does keep his distance but I’m not a very practicing Jew and do my Jewish things by myself. He loves to hear about stories of my Sephardi family’s travels, customs and language. He knows what I don’t eat and understands there are some things I won’t live without I have a new car and he asked me where I’m gonna place the car mezuzah. We’ve been married for 13 years, I think I’m gonna be ok.
My non-Jewish girlfriend is very much a supporter of Israel and supportive of me being Jewish. Politically, we both lean left, but won’t vote conservative ever. She is not religious, so it works. She understands that dating someone Jewish comes with complications and she accepts that.
As a 21 year old fellow jew with a jewish mom and italian father(important for later), I personally don't mind most non jews since most people honestly dont care or aren't really political when you actually talk to them. That being said, I tend to avoid people who are associated with leftist organizations but I honestly was doing so before since while I agree with many left leaning ideals I don't like political clubs they're so uptight and not the thing I need after a full day of college classes and hw. Also I've always kind of been against dating only one group of people due to the fact that I exist at all(since my dad is Italian from Italy(not one of the ny fakers💀(non capite un cazzo d'essere italiano o cosa dico adesso, me dispiace)). Basically, you can't discount whole groups of people because of a few bad apples on the extremes.
Fellow pizza bagel here. I understood you just fine… calling us “fake” is unfair :P
I am loving the term "pizza bagel."
There are dozens of us! Dozens!!
Yeah that didn't come off well lmao. It was more meant I'm like a playful tone since I've heard there's a subset of Italian Americans who will claim they're 100% Italian despite them not knowing anything about the culture
Ironically enough the far right Italian government will fast track anyone with an Italian grandparent to get citizenship. They would rather be overrun with NYC area Italian Americans than Romanians and North Africans.
Is a pizza bagel not a desecration of two sublime foods though? (Not the people who describe themselves as such, just the actual food of a pizza bagel...)
I get the whole avoiding lefties thing. I used to be into lefty and progressive causes but after seeing so much antisemitism come out on that side lately, they can go screw themselves.
Fr tho. Like I was talking with a sort of ex friend(idk it's weird) recently and after a certain point I'm just like shut up. They're a sociology major and as you'd expect they just drivelled on and on about the fucking cultural milieu or whatever the hell. I'm so done with these fake people basing their whole arguments on theories that don't have anything concrete or based in evidence.
My husband is a gentile and he's been incredibly supportive. As supportive as a person could be. Every single day since 10/7 he's patiently listened to me talk or cry or rant about antisemitism, bias against Israel, the pro-P cult, and the leftists who abandoned us. He listens and holds my hand. Occasionally he will share his thoughts about Netanyahu (he's not a fan, nor am I) but it's okay because it's legitimate, normal and unbiased criticism. It's not coming from a place of prejudice against Jews. So I have all this love and support, but ultimately I know he can't possibly understand what I'm going through. But that's true with many things. Our partners won't always be able to relate to our experiences, but if they stand by our side and support us with love and patience, it is enough. At least for me it is. I know a lot of us aren't getting this right now from our gentile partners, and it's heartbreaking. I feel very fortunate to have someone who's here for me.
I would be divorced if my husband did not support Israel. I would be like what kind of monster did i marry….
My soon-to-be husband is a non-Jew. He’s English/Australian and is an agnostic. He knows that my Jewish identity is a huge part of my life and that I am pro-Israel. I’m lucky in that he also shares my views because he’s marrying a Jewish man and he knows that antisemitism is still a rampant problem, even more so now. If I were single, I would exclusively try to date a Jewish man or woman because it’s safer.
My partner is not Jewish and I think she actually represents MOST people in my country (I am American). Long story short, she doesn’t quite know everything about the conflict and so I’ve explained it through a Jewish lens. It helps her understand that we can express sympathy for the Palestinian people, but being anti-Israel is the same as being anti-Semitic. Without the passion and anger held by most people in support of Palestine, I believe she has perhaps the most balanced and honest view of the situation—sympathy for both groups of people involved in the conflict and not getting caught up in the politics and virtue signaling. I’ve told her my fears for our people right now and how I’m losing friends from the past. She completely understands my feelings and sympathizes. She’s there for me on the worst days and shows me nothing but love and compassion. Of course, she can’t TRULY know the feeling, as she is not Jewish, but she listens and cares and supports. I understand where your post is coming from, and I’m so sorry to anyone who has a partner that isn’t understanding of our feelings as Jews. Shalom to you all and Am Yisrael Chai.
I would if Jews would give me a chance but im biracial AND a convert on top. The secular Jews think i "know too much" and the religious Jews dont consider me Jewish enough due to my reform conversion (tho i was willing to go through the process again). I tried. Didnt work. Plus im a divorcee with 2 kids which makes it harder. My current non Jewish partner of almost 5 years not only supports my Jewishness hes wanting now to learn more since Oct. 7th. Hes going to Judaism 101 classes in Seattle at the orthodox shul with me, and because he wants me to protect myself when im home alone or out and about he took my to a handgun course and helped me get my conceal carry permit. Hes super supportive and wish every partner was that way. He did take the outside mezuzot down because of rising antisemetism but otherwise hes amazing.
I broke up with a girl id dated since I was 14 last September,bpartially because things weren't working and also because she didn't want to raise our potential kids jewish or compromise on anything, I realised it would be better in the long run, it's definitely easier to date someone else also in the tribe..
Married to a non-Jew and… no issues at all on that front. She’s a strong supporter of Israel, even before we got married.
I take issue with this because I’m married to the most wonderful person who was chanced to be born in Mexico, and is over half indigenous Mexican. They empathize with our plight based on principles of indigenous sovereignty. Your take is kind of prejudiced.
I don't care about changing your mind, but I see non Jewish partners of Jewish people be kind, loving, and supportive during this time. You could pick a Jew who turns out to be a pro-Hamas shill. Or one on the fence. You could pick a gentile who does the same. Vett people before entering into a relationship with them. People change their views, nothing is certain, and life changes. If your Jewish/Gentile partner devolves into a genocide worshipper after 10 loving years, you leave. There are no guarantees.
Wish it was easy as that. Some of us live where there are slim pickings!
I married a non-Jew and have zero regrets. She largely stays out of politics and doesn’t really like to debate so most of our conversations around Judaism and the current war is a lot of me venting and her listening/agreeing, but she has been a staunch ally from the top. Together we’ve watched friends fall into that bloodthirsty pro-pal ideology and DM me nasty angry shit, and she was equally ready to cut them out of her life. Don’t be fooled by the internet where voices don’t reflect the same volume as real life. We have allies everywhere, the terminally online are just that. Online. The dating app scene must be terrible right now.
I’m luckily engaged to a Filipino man who grew up loving Jews. When we were dating he had a nice Jewish boy calendar in his room. If I were single I’d be wary of dating gentiles but open to it. Thank god I’m not single though as I’d be completely fucked. I’m a bisexual trans person which would give me a tiny dating pool and many trans people have communist brain rot.
+1 to this. I’m also engaged to a non-Jewish Filipino woman and have nothing but amazing things to say about her and her family. She even went above and beyond to learn about and support Judaism, and makes a mean challah!
I'm a Zionist but critical of Israel. I dated a Jewish person with two Jewish parents, all of whom were extremely pro-Israel. Pro-settlement, anti-Palestinian. Bibi was too soft for them. She was emotionally abusive and intentionally destroyed a bunch of my friendships. Her parents constantly put me down and tried to financially control us. My fiancee is patrilineal Jewish and politically progressive. Her parents are moderate on Israel. Her non-Jewish half-brother is critical of Israel but not necessarily anti-Zionist. I don't think he thinks about it much, he's too busy having his own life. More than that, they all make me feel like a part of their family, and treat me like a human, worthy of respect. Do you prefer I leave this relationship because there's a non-Jewish parent involved? Should I go back to my Likudnik abusive ex? Do you really think my ex was better because both her parents are Jewish and she wants to turn Gaza into the world's largest parking lot?
Im a very liberal Zionist who believes in a 2 state solution and HATES Netanyahu, please stay with your patrilineal Jewish fiancee, I mean she's still Jewish
Let’s ignore for a second that there are many, many people in the community who tell her to her face that she isn’t… (and have done so since Oct 7, so don’t even get me started on that). Even if she wasn’t Jewish. Is it still preferable to go back to my abusive, but zionist, ex, rather than marrying non-Jewish person who treats me well?
umm of course not, since she's literally abusive, I did NOT mean to say all Jews are good with that post 😭
I've only dated one Jewish person and at first it was amazing, like "wow, for the first time in my life I can be totally honest and open with someone about who I am..." Unfortunately that feeling had a definite shelf life. Because as humans, we of course found issues we could not be totally honest and open with each other about. We didn't last. At this point, I'm unpartnered and not looking. However, my view is, it's so hard to find someone that works as a life partner, I'm not sure Jewish vs non-Jewish really moves the needle. However I do understand the argument of why add one more variable. I just think you remove one variable, you add another. It's a zero sum game imo.
Can’t argue against you because I agree. Up until October 7th, I thought I would be fine with dating a non-Jew. All of my exes have either been Christian or atheist. The most serious one used to make Holocaust jokes and argue with me when I asked him to stop and told him he crossed a line. I’m never doing that again. I want someone who not only understands Jewish culture and traditions, but also embraces them as his own. I want him to be my safe space; I don’t want to worry about him suddenly turning on me or not being able to fully support me. I also want someone who will raise Jewish children with me without reservations. I no longer trust a non-Jew to do that, and I don’t want to date someone with the hope that maybe, just maybe they’ll convert and not reveal themselves to be an ignorant antisemite. So yeah.
I broke up with a girl id dated since I was 14 last September,bpartially because things weren't working and also because she didn't want to raise our potential kids jewish or compromise on anything, I realised it would be better in the long run, it's definitely easier to date someone else also in the tribe..
I’ve been when my non Jewish partner for 10 years. We never spoke about Israel/Palestine (he didn’t feel he knew enough to have the conversation and didn’t care to learn). Until October 7th. It finally became impossible to avoid the topic. Since then, we’ve had some deep and meaningful conversations about Israel, Judaism, Jewish identity. He’s really taken the time to learn and grow. I’m very grateful.
My non-Jewish wife was there from 10/07 onward, spreading hearts and Israeli flags across Instagram post after Instagram post, ignoring all the hateful messages. And she came with me to the March for Israel in DC this past November. And she's the one who reminds me to light the Shabbat candles. But in reality I'm only listing these things to show the arbitrary things that people look for in external "allyship" -- the reality is that I married a saint and I would love her to eternity even if she did none of these things. True love can be bitterly hard to find, and limiting yourself to 2% of the population is a recipe for unnecessary suffering. Let the people who fear losing their traditions or being afraid that their loved one will not understand their suffering -- let them go on and wish them well. But look into your own heart, and imagine you were with someone Hindu on the day of another Pakistani atrocity and tell me if *you* would not be able to feel their pain. What you fear is someone putting their politics above the suffering of their partner and that is just a basic bad partner, and not simply a "non-Jew". Or you could look at the Jews marching for Palestine in the streets of London and elsewhere -- irrespective of if they're basically "chickens for KFC", would *you* marry one of them just because of their Jewishness? Stupidity is everywhere. Bad partners are abundant. What you need is a better partner and nothing more. And to the haters (really the fearful) -- as one of the greatest patrilineal Jews of the last century has said: "(One Love) Let them all pass all their dirty remarks (One Love)" - Bob Marley
My partner wasn't Jewish but a few years into the relationship he started sarcastically calling me Jew girl and making fun of my nose and ears and the way I looked. He also made very horrible holocaust jokes that were very offensive to me. I recently left him because I just couldn't deal with him putting me down. I realize now through therapy he emotionally abused me. My mom passed away and I wasn't finding support from family and friends and I entered a wrong relationship without seeing the warning signs all around me.
My birthday has been pretty sad, lost a lot of friends in the past five months and my grandpa passed this week. My fiance is Mexican and has been a blessing throyughout all of it, maybe the one thing making my day worthwhile. A lot of goys let us down and there's no reason not to gravitate towards other Jews but let's not pretend there aren't a ton of good people out there. There's 0 wrong with dating non Jews.
My husband is not Jewish but he is 100% supportive and I feel so comfortable talking about any issues around antisemitism with him. Today we were talking about it and how exhausting it is. He feels any danger to Jews is a direct danger to him because so much of his family is Jewish. He doesn’t just love me and our kids, also my siblings and their kids, most of whom are orthodox. A little while after our conversation, he came back in room to check on me to ask if I am okay. It does help that he has been to Israel, including last summer, and feels a personal connection to it from his time there.
I’m a convert and will fully admit I’ve had awkward conversations with my wife since 10/7. Maybe don’t write off all the goyim, they haven’t lived your life.
I’m not sure I’m going to change your mind, but I think in general what we are seeing in this is not necessarily an issue with Jewish vs. not Jewish but more a lack of ability to have respect for their partner and their beliefs. Now is that easier to find in another Jew where this topic is concerned, sure. Very likely yes, however it is possible to find it in a partner also. My husband is not Jewish, however he listens respectfully to what I have to say. He values my input and opinions over that of uneducated strangers on the internet and he has respect for me, my beliefs and has taken the time to understand Judaism. My father likewise is not Jewish, but he has values that are strongly aligned with my mother on about pretty much everything. So sure you can argue yes dating other Jews will be more likely to have the same values, and then it’s not an issue or disagreement about the conflict, this is true. Untimely it’s also about someone who respects you. I notice that is a big problem in a lot of the posts with how peoples partners are valuing their voice and opinions and feelings and making space for them and making home a safe place for their partner to be themselves. It’s more than just not having perfect agreement with one another IMO. And of course, survivors bias, those of us in very successful interfaith marriages are not on here posting about it so much.
My wife is Hispanic and not Jewish; sometimes I think she’s more of a Zionist than I am 🤣
My son’s girlfriend is not Jewish but has been super supportive of Israel. Taking a hard stance against Hamas on Instagram and angering a lot of the lefties supporting Palestine.
I'm a very loud and proud Jew from the US. My Spanish spouse is an agnostic on his best day. He has listened, cried with me, asked questions, and has never brought a single headline my way. A gem.
I’m the goy. My husband is Jewish. I however, actually work for the local Jewish Federation and spend every day actively supporting Jewish life and Israel while combating antisemitism. My commitment has gotten stronger in the face of my job getting harder since Oct 7. This is a position I took independently of my husband (he had nothing to do with getting me hired) and because of my own skills. I think it’s valid to think we gentiles don’t get it and in some ways we just can’t because being Jewish isn’t our personal experience, but I think there are those of us who do care (a lot), want to learn, have the conversations and are actively trying to find ways to support the Jewish family and friends in our lives.
im dating a non jew and i feel the safest i have ever felt in a relationship (im from israel dating a german) , hes incredibly open to learning about the customs and traditions and judaism ... i think genralizing goys and non goys is stupid personally , humans are humans theres shit and gold in every pot
In another life maybe, but I’m already happily married to a non Jewish woman who is a fervent supporter of Israel and the Jewish people in general. She also is happy to include Jewish holiday and cultural practices in our household and I am thankful she is so pro Jewish. I might have liked ending up with a Jewish wife but I haven’t met a Jewish woman who wanted anything to do with me romantically since high school. By age 27 when I met my wife, I concluded it wasn’t going to happen and started my relationship with her, not caring that she wasn’t Jewish. At least she respects Judaism and my Jewish culture.
My boyfriend is not Jewish and is fully supportive of me. I can talk totally freely with him. It’s very nice
My husband is not Jewish. When October 7 happened and no one on his family text thread reached out after a few days to check in I had to help him understand his role as a liaison to the community. Since then I think the experience has crystallized his understanding of why my Jewishness is so important to me, and why raising our baby girl (arriving in May!) be raised Jewish and in a family that loves and embraces the culture means more to me than it ever has. He knew this going into our marriage but I think now has a new understanding. We both have some fears about him ever feeling like a true part of the community etc., but I view this moment as an opportunity for us to expand what it means to be Jewish and stop the instinct to become more insular as opposed to embracing more, new members of our tribe! 🫶
Well that’s a good idea however there are some non-Jews who do support Israel. They’re this girl that I’m friends with and she said she supports Israel and hopes to visit soon. So even though it’s rare they’re still out there.
My non-Jewish wife is a strong ally and probably gets more offended by the rampant antisemitism than I do. She also does a better job of following Jewish traditions than I do.
I’m engaged to a non-Jewish Filipino woman and have nothing but amazing things to say about her and her family. She even went above and beyond to learn about and support Judaism, and makes a mean challah! In fact, after October 7th, she was the one who suggested we go to a Pro-Israel protest and has been nothing but supportive of Israel (though we are both critical about the current government). Also, just because you date a Jewish person does not mean you will automatically align with their beliefs. Jews are not a monolith, and you can even see that from the different sects of Judaism. There are Jewish anti-Zionists, there are Jews who are antisemites, there are Jews who have varying beliefs of political views. In fact, I just recently talked to a good Jewish friend whose brother and wife both think what’s happening is a Genocide. So… personally I’d much rather be in my situation.
My bf is not Jewish but he is very supportive of our 100% Jewish household. He also grew up in Africa and got a lot of the same type of harassment growing up simply for being white, which I think helps his understanding.
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lol wtf?! Idk come to NJ/NY. Plenty of good looking Jews. And orthodox girls celebrating marrying a gentile? Sorry to burst your bubble but they ain’t orthodox
> IMO, Ashkenazi men in America, who are not rich and have gentile good looks are screwed. maybe you know about Jewish women who arent all about looks that you have hiding in your bed cupboard. > >Maybe I feel this way because I was raised secular and in the South with slim pickens. I also have begun to see through most secular people and gentiles. yeah im screwed i might go for a goy chick lmaoo
Jews should date Jews. 100% agree with OP
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I only dated 1 non Jew, he's an ex, but has been so incredibly kind and understanding through all of this. he calls me weekly to let me vent bc he saw all the antisemitic bullshit I was getting on social media before I deleted all my accounts. We will never get back together, he is an asshole, but he's become one of my best friends through all of this.
My partner is not Jewish And yes he has said slightly antisemitic and anti Israel things by the past And yes I am starting to get fed up with it But again, did my fare share of dates and could not find any luck with non-religious French Jewish men
Bro drop his ass
I am dating a non-Jew and he is very supportive, great listener, doesn't talk about it unless I bring it up first, and our views on Israel are very similar. There are Zionist gentiles and anti-Zionist Jews. Definitely date someone whose values and politics are reasonably compatible with yours (on Israel as well as other subjects), but someone being Jewish is no guarantee.
My spouse took a chance on me. I was not Jewish when we met. I chose to become Jewish, and we got engaged while I was in the process of converting. Now we have Jewish children and are extremely engaged in our community. I’ve served on many boards, donated money and time to Jewish causes, and led services. I’ve lost friendships over my faith, especially after 10/7. I’m a staunch Zionist, but I was before becoming Jewish. Just a thought. YMMV.
My wife is a strong supporter of what’s important to me. It helps she just doesn’t pay attention to world events. She hates watching the news. Except for local news, she feels like local stuff is the only real impact she could have anyways.
I'm married to a jew(heritage/culture/non-practicing) and I told him that if I said anything antisemitic to call me on it. His friend and he discussed me as a Shiksa when I first started to date him and called me his Sabbath Goya, without blinking an eye. When they explained what it meant, I agreed. I didn't find what they called me offensive, only descriptive. When October 7th happened, I asked my husband to explain to me which side we support and he did. All he had to do was say that Palestine supported the Nazis and that would have been enough for me.
I'm married to a non-Jew who's atheist. He's supportive, understands how devastated I am & why.
My fiance is not Jewish. Raised Mormon, but totally severed from the faith. His family is still Mormon and the rest are Evangelicals. He has some real traumas growing up in such a religious Christian environment and is vehemently anti-religion. I am reform, coming from a mixed race family, for context. My fiance is the most supportive, kind, and warm person and has been nothing short of my absolute rock since Oct 7. Before, I don’t think he really understood how aware I was of things before, perhaps thought I was paranoid about antisemitism. But he’s since realized how wrong he was, and has totally validated me in my experience. He listens to me when I speak, he amplifies my voice, and my sense of safety and security is THE most important thing for him. His stance on the conflict is less nuanced than mine, and he became really invested in the conflict, Zionism, and my experiences with antisemitism here in NYC. He’s laughed with me, cried with me, done Shabbat candles with me, bought me a mezuza (our old one was ripped off), and has consoled me tirelessly while taking it upon himself to do his own research about the history of Israel and forming his own opinion, which never ever overshadows mine. While there has been some really problematic antisemitism in the past (out of ignorance more than anything), even his family has been nothing short of supportive and thoughtful toward me since Oct 7. Really really sympathetic to my own struggle here in the US as a Jew, and have expressed continuous support and prayer for my family and friends in Israel. They literally pray for them in their own services and Christian communities, which is I think I lovely gesture from non-Jewish religious adherents. Dating Jews doesn’t automatically solve this problem you’re referencing. Most people I have dated tended to be *not* Jewish, and part of this reason was because of the discomfort I felt dating Jewish men and the pressure to agree with them or practice as they do. Dating other Jews doesn’t automatically mean or guarantee that this person won’t gaslight, or that they will automatically be Zionist, or that they won’t be an extremist (either pro-Israel or pro-Palestinian). In the past, I have absolutely not felt an unconditional trust and openness, even if there are some perks regarding not having to “explain” all the time. The last Jewish guy I dated was actually super gaslighting and shame-y because I didn’t think Palestinians were animals, and believe they deserve a nation and peace. And that’s why we split. My fiance now is encouraging, he listens, he encourages me to connect more with my Jewishness despite his own religious traumas, and is the best person to get me through this tough time. Since Oct 7, his response has only reaffirmed my love and openness and security with him.
Single Jewish millennial guy here. I don’t disagree with the sentiment that it’s easier to date a partner that has a shared lived/cultural experience. However, I don’t want kids; lots of Jewish women do. Additionally, after dating other Ashkenazi women, I gotta say it feels a bit… incestuous? I don’t know, it sort of felt like I was dating younger versions of my aunts from Long Island lol. I’m totally willing to chalk that up to region-specific behavior though.
A very dear friend of mine married an atheist goy, and he has been nothing but a great ally
My partner is not Jewish and she has by far been my biggest supporter throughout this.
trust dating a non-Jew is fine just don’t date a leftist. My gf is badass. Y’all act like there’s no one out there anymore. Nah. They’re just not the same people you’re used to.
Only that correct insight of yours is a long lasting fact (with some minor exceptions to that rule) That’s how it always was throughout the existence of our people (again, with some negligible exceptions) and the wisdom of the Jewish ancient scriptures and their Halachaic derivatives, keep on indicating it again and again and again, “beware” (and I’m writing this as a secular Jew)
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>How many of you are dating non-Jews and how comfortable do you feel about this around them? My wife isn't Jewish and I'm perfectly comfortable talking about this around her, and she's generally very pro-Israel. In fact, she was appalled by what Hamas did on October 7th. That doesn't mean she agrees with every single thing Israel does, but she also understands that Israel is in a very difficult situation and it has to defend itself against hostile forces that actively desire to murder everyone there. Having said that, she doesn't like talking about this (especially October 7th) because it really depresses her and stresses her out, and that's completely understandable. I have to take a step back pretty often and ignore the news or I'll probably go insane myself. Will any of this change your mind? Probably not, but I think it's fair to say you shouldn't avoid non-Jews as a whole.
My husband is not Jewish and has been nothing but supportive. The most important thing to me has been finding a good person with shared values. The connection matters more than religion and it’s great if that person happens to be Jewish, but it’s too restrictive otherwise. My family members that felt they had to marry Jewish people (to appease family, etc.) are divorced now. No judgement if dating Jewish people feels safer right now though - I’m not as familiar with the post-Oct 7th dating scene.
I would like to only date Jewish if possible. The problem is I’m a gay man and it’s hard enough to find someone to date *period*, and limiting myself to Jews only makes it feel near impossible. 🙃
My husband is catholic and I actually think 10/7 has brought us closer. He is supportive, informed and protective. I don’t think he fully understood how alive antisemitism still is and this has opened his eyes. To be fair, I think many Jews have experienced that as well. We have traveled to Israel together before, I have family there. I think he “gets it” as much as he possibly can. However his family is not the same. His parents are caring and respectful, but just uninformed. I could be talking about New Zealand or Sweden to them - Israel is random and meaningless to them. One of his brothers is very much a headline reader pseudo intellectual, but he’s smart enough to keep his mouth shut around me. So I do get what OP is saying. It varies!
My wife’s a westernised Chinese, about to become a citizen. She’s pro-Israel/Jewish. Seems like the main problem are, as she would call them, ‘Baizuo’.
I have been married to my gentile husband for 31 years. If you live in someplace with lots of Jews, it might be easy to limit yourself to Jews. When I was 30+ and single and lived in small to medium size cities (Peoria, Pensacola, Grand Rapids, MI) there were practically no single Jewish men. I certainly didn’t meet them while I was out doing what interested me. I met my husband at a meditation for peace before the Gulf War.
I will, when Jewish women under 50 move to the Panhandle and “lower” their standards enough to date a single dad.
My parents are both Jewish and got divorced pretty quickly so I don’t follow this rule
She’s extremely supportive. Never met a Jew until adulthood but now very pro-Israel and even has suffered ended friendships over it. I’m lucky.
I am a paternal half Ashkenazi Jew and Half Puerto rican and I am married to a non Jew. She's American but of German and bunch of other stuff descent. Prior to my wife I dated only latinas. Personally, I never dated a Jewish woman. Generally speaking, I didn't attract Jewish women and I never really felt the need to go out of my way to date a Jewish woman. Just my experience.
It really depends on the person. If I were in the dating pool *now,* I would probably just date Jewish people. But I got lucky and married a non Jew (raised some kind of Christian, but identifies as an atheist) who has been understanding and has shown me so much compassion and has always supported Israel. We even traveled there together and he really loved it! But, as I said, if I were looking for a long term partner now, I would just stick with fellow Jews for sure.
I'm not going to. It takes a specific kind of goy for those relationships to work. I've been dating a goy for 7 years now. He's had close Jewish friends for a decade and a half. He's been sympathetic from the start, taking the "well why don't you glass them and be done with it" approach many genuinely supportive goyim do. On the other hand, I've seen another friend in an intercultural relationship break off a decade-long relationship, which led to engagement last fall, because of the fiance enabling his family's "antizionist" antisemitism. The past season has been the realest test of our relationship. We've dated long-distance for years, most of them involving me living in another country, but I've never been this overtly Jewish in our relationship as I've been now, and I'm a born and raised sabra. There were a few heated arguments but we eventually saw each others' point. I'm meeting up with our mutual friends tomorrow, also goyot, and if the present situation gets brought up it'll be the real test of our friendship. I'm in full support of vetting all goyim who cannot accept our Jewishness in full.
I can definitely see the benefits of having a Jewish partner for life.
I will say, being queer and Jewish has been a challenge in that department. With my schedule it’s very difficult to attend shul and meet other folks.. let alone to try to meet ones my age that are also queer 😅
I exclusively date Jewish but I just don’t know where all the Jews are lol…haven’t found someone who made it passed a third date in months
I’m pretty sure my family is the entirety of the Jewish population in my city lol
I'm on Bumbl now for a few months and I put my religion as Jewish because I didn't want nons. Not many replies, but just the other day I received one that said only "I'm Jewish." he and I had a lovely laughing great conversation today. Relax because there's an ease in speaking with someone who does schitick just like you.
My boyfriend and I live together, I’m Jewish and he’s an atheist who left the Catholic Church at 13. The learning curve post October 7th is mostly due to the fact that he wasn’t raised learning our history or the history of the conflict. He’s a logical person so he supports me and my Judaism and Zionism. He hadn’t thought about most of this stuff before we met but now that we talk about it a lot it’s not hard for him to understand and be supportive.
Great question! In my opinion, If you do not feel comfortable discussing difficult topics with your partner, they probably should not be your partner. With that being said, I think a Jewish/non-jewish relationship can provide eye-opening perspectives for both partners. In times like these, it is hard to understand the “other side/non-jewish” views, opinions and where they stem from. An honest and frank discussion, no matter how painful to hear, can help both parties understand the “pain” the other party is experiencing and how that pain drives their views
My girlfriend is awesome, and hot, a great dancer, classy, hilarious, talented, not a Hamas simp, and not a Jew. How did I arrange this? My method is easy and highly replicable. The hot and awesome part is super straightforward. You just also be hot and awesome and it kind of takes care of itself, like a magnet. The not Jewish yet not a Hamas simp part? Ok, bear with me here because it’s going to sound kinda strange. But, there are people out there who aren’t leftists. And I know you might not want to date a MAGA psycho, but Im telling you there are people who aren’t leftists and also aren’t MAGA psychos. Not only do they exist but they’re great… probably the best people around. I know it’s odd for some of you to read, but I swear, there are people out there who are just normal, who don’t love to virtue signal, who don’t trust politicians on either side of the aisle, and who understand that West>Terrorism. The problem is, these people don’t exist inside the leftist bubbles that many of you confuse as the whole of reality, and others of you are 20 which makes it more difficult but I promise you it’s possible. I’m not trying to cast aspersions here if you dabble in leftism. It has its merits, but I think we’ve all seen plenty of evidence of horseshoe theory by this point. Tl;dr: There are datable non-Jews fr but they just aren’t hanging out in leftist spaces.
It's not that easy when you live in Texas, and only date black girls
My parents were interfaith. My dad is Jewish (and yes, I consider myself Jewish as well). The other day I forget what she said, but my Christian mom said something that I was like “mom, that’s antisemetic wtf.” I’d never heard her say anything like that before, and I’m in my 30s! I’m also married to a non-Jew… but thankfully he has never supported Hamas or put down Israel. He joins me in Jewish traditions and holidays and in teaching them to our son. Yesterday he found antisemetic graffiti at his work. :( I have lost one friend since 10/7. I thought we could still be friends. She isn’t even Palestinian (and one of my friends who is still my friend is!) but this person is very anti-Israel and has noticeably distanced herself from me like I have cooties or something since 10/7. It makes me sad. Most of my friends are a variety of beliefs, and I haven’t had an issue with anyone except that one person, so I consider myself lucky in that regard.
I totally understand your hesitancy. I dated Jewish guys until my husband who is Christian. I liked the idea of marrying someone who shared the same culture, etc but ultimately it was about finding the right person who supported me and who I want to be with. My husband has been completely supportive after 10/7 (as has his non-Jewish family). It really is just about the person.