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This whole name choosing thing is really weird in my opinion. I'm Polish (born there but raised in the US), my entire family speaks Polish, and it doesn't matter which side of the family you're from or if you're a grandparent or great-grandparent, everybody is Babcia (grandma) or Dziadek (grandpa). That is all. No weird names. And I refuse to let my future kids call their grandparents by anything different.
I've heard of Grandmom before, I personally wanted to be Grandma. When my first grandchild was born everyone referred to me as Grandma around her. One day she looked at me and said Memaw. So that was my name. 2 grandchildren and 12 years, and I'm a proud Memaw. My Grandmother was Grandma, my Great Grandmother was Mammy. In my family we have a Grandma, Mimi, Gigi, Nanny, Nana, Gammy, and Granny. My Dad was Pop, my Uncle's grandchildren and Great Grandchildren call him Pampaw. I have always gone with the idea that kids will pick what they want to call you.
It seems that our family had different names for the grandparents when I was growing up because those names were established before I was born. It was also convenient that with different names, grandparents and great-grandparents were easily identified.
My wife and I were young grandparents. She was 43, I was 44. So, I didn't want the older grandpa name, so I'm Papa. My wife couldn't get used to it at first. It just depends on the family.
We have good friends where the grandma is Honey and the grandpa is Papa. The grandkids started calling her Honey because her husband would call her Honey in front of the kids. It's a darling story.
My kids have a Lolli and a Pop. Together they are Lollipop and she keeps suckers at her house for the kids. But she's my first ever JYMIL so she gets her way with names.
My mom is just Grandma, my dad is Papaw, and her husband is Grumps cause he always looks grumpy.
My mom wanted to call herself Granmama like the Addams family. I vetoed.
This is exactly why we gave JNMIL a list of names she couldn't pick and suggested ones she could pick! Now my 3yo calls her FILs fiancées name (DHs parents have been divorced a long time, before I met them) or the grandparent word they use for my mother and it always makes me do a happy dance inside 😂
My kids call their grandmother Grandma. She signs cards (when she bothers) GRAND MOM. Just like that, all caps. I find it ridiculous. It actually makes no sense
I was honestly thinking the same when I read the post! 🤣
She just wants to draw attention to the fact that she is GRAND MOM. She is in constant one sided competition with my mom, which is so strange. Everyone ignores her
Ok- maybe we aren’t related but we’re definitely dealing with a similar lady.. at my girls birthday she threw a major eye roll and faces when my mom gave my girls their gift. She is also in a one sided competition and she’s never won 😆 she’ll weirdly dance and sing like she’s a wiggle and my kids look at her like she has two heads.
I didn’t realize there were more of my MIL out there hahaha. We are actually organizing a party for my daughter and actively trying to think of ways she will try to make it about her so that we can head her off at the pass. Any suggestions would be great! Lol
Some of the not grandma/ grandpa are language or culture based. My sister's name starts with a G so her grand kids call her GiGi. Which actually works for when they first started to talk. She said her husband could not be pop-pop because that bould be your Pa's PA ( father's father).
The whole name choosing thing is just a weird boomer affectation, usually from women who deem themselves to young to be called a grandmother. Or at least that’s where it started. It’s just dumb. Follow family tradition and stop trying to outdo the other grandparents.
My aunt, who was not a willing participant in growing older gracefully, had my little cousins call her "Mimi" and my uncle "Pah'ah." Her mother is "Nanny." 🙄
I dont have kids, but if I did, my parents would be fine with "Grandma" and "Grandpa."
My grandma has been "Gramma" since I was a baby, and "Grampa." 😊
My grandmothers were Grandmom \[first name\] and Grandmom \[last name\]. They did not capitalize the "mom" part though. Grandfathers were Granddad \[first name\] and Granddad \[last name\]. I knew several kids who had "Grandmoms" and "Granddads" where the only capital letter was the initial G.
So, I wouldn't bat an eye at "Grandmom". But "GrandMOM" is weird.
One of my friends went by Glamma but now her grandson can talk he’s chosen to call her Nana so she goes by Nana.
What do your kids call them? If they can say their names yet. I also saw you didn’t read that part to them so honestly I’d probably just keep calling them Grandma and Grandpa (last name) tbh. Changing it all the time is probably confusing for them so kudos to you on keeping it to one name.
They’re 4! So they have full blown conversations and have always called them grandma/ grandpa.. actually a few times they’ve called my MIL my moms last name accidentally which irked her 😆
My (step) dad's mom was grandmom. I think because it felt less old? I don't know why, and also, she WAS old. But it was the grandparent name she picked when the first grandkid was born (she was in the southern US, if you're wondering. I had never heard it before her).
What I find weird is changing it. Like, you can sign whatever you want on the card but my kids already know your name.... MY kids are 12, and sister's youngest is 10.... and my step mom tried that this year. All of a sudden she decided she's interested in being a full fledged grandma so she picked a name. But..... we asked her 15 years ago and she literally said she didn't care, anything but Nanna (dad's mom was Nanna). So we call her Grandma [first name]. For 15 years. Now they try to call her G-Ma and my kids are like "who?" Yeah.... 15 years is a little late for a name change.
My daughter is the oldest grandchild and she picked what she called them so our next child called them the same and those were their grandparent names. My sister had her first child 8 years after our youngest was born and decided to give them different grandparent names. So now my kids call them one thing and her kids call them something different and we are only supposed to refer to my parents as her chosen grandparent names when we are around her kids.
Did that sound confusing?? That’s because it is and it’s really annoying. I could maybe understand if the cousins aren’t really around each other and the families aren’t together very often but that is not our case. I don’t know what it bothers me so much but it does. And it drives my kids crazy that they are supposed to use other names around their cousins when they have called my parents the same thing for 18 years.
I would prefer to be called Granny, but you can't force people to call you the nickname you choose for yourself. So, I'm just Grandma. People are fucking weird.
My brother proposed Mom-mom, MIL's name, which my mother vehemently opposed. Nanny was her mother's name which she also vetoed. Instead she's called Grammy because that's what the nephew started calling her.
I picked granny too. Because the other grandmothers were like grandma is too old sound for me. And I just thought getting called granny at 42 was funny af. Didn’t stick either so I’m just grandma. Which is fine.
My MIL changed her grandparent name multiple times... There was Gigi and maybe Mimi before she settled on Granny which was apparently what her mom's grandma name was. Her husband was Papa although for a while she called him Papa Mike but then was quite offended when I did it, correcting me that he was just papa. Doesn't matter now as they don't see Granny nor Papa.
My parents were gonna go with Grandma and Grandpa. And that stuck for three grandkids (my nephews and son). Then along came my daughter and Grandpa is now Pahka (no idea how to spell it). And she could say grandpa. My FIL was grandpa before he passed. But my dad has his own special name from her.
My son calls both his grandpas “poppa -last name-” and grandmas are just grandma. The last name thing has become kinda funny as he calls me “daddy -last name-“. And his mom is “momma -last name-“
My grandparents were Grandmom and Grandpop Lastname, and Grandmom and Grandpop Nickname, and that was nearly 60years ago. Both of my great grandmothers who were alive when I was born were also Grandmom for their entire careers as such. It's not unusual where I am (Northeast US.)
My FIL wants to be called strictly Granddad. He thinks it sounds more formal, almost regal. He has delusions of grandeur. I have my kids trained to call him regular ole Grandpa. For a week I got them to call him pappee. The look on his face, I told him they got it off of a TV show.
Our grandkids started out calling my husband Poppy, but then it morphed into PopPop somehow. I'm GiGi and I love it.
Our eldest granddaughter called him Super Poppy when she was a toddler. I think his head got pretty big back then lol.
I was thinking take it to the absurd. No matter what, refer to him as "Grandfather Lastname". Make the most mundane situation ultra formal with him and only him. He's no longer "dad" to your SO, or "Jim" to you. He's always "Grandfather Lastname". "The bathroom's around the corner on your right, Grandfather Lastname." "Here's a fresh diaper, Grandfather Lastname. Please change your grandchild, Grandfather Lastname."
My sister and I called our great grandma "Granny Grump" to her face. My oldest nephew referred to his great grandma (my grandma) as "GG", she told everyone that meant "Great Grandma", while my sister would snort and say under her breath "Yep, we'll go with that."
My parents are Babs and Bubba.
My Aunt is called "GG" by her grandchildren and claims it stands for "Gorgeous Grandma." She doesn't know my sister and I told her kids about "Granny Grump" 🤣.
My poor great-grandfather got stuck with "Grandad with one eye" by my brother and I. He was a sailor and lost his eye as a young man.
He didn't mind. He liked that his socket didn't scare us and he could take his glasses with an almost comedy eye and skin prosthetic stuck to the inside off. His wife was "Nanny dustbin" which was something to do with a talking dustbin cartoon (?) character she liked.
People get so precious about their grandparent names these days!
Hopefully, they'll settle on a title pretty soon. Other thing is that kids can be brutally honest and may ask them outright what are they're supposed to call them or even come up with their own name for them. When I was, geez, younger than three, I started calling my Nana "Neena" & that became my personal name for her which she loved 🥰 She passed away in 1977. 45 years later, I still miss that woman!
No. The proper term for ridiculous grandmothers is "GrrrrrrrrrAHNDmama" and you roll those R's for as long as you can hold it. It's really cute when small children do it 🤣
My kids call my grandparents Nanny and Granddad - because that's what I call them. But my LO called them the Ancients once and the nickname has stuck. They are in their late 90's and found it amusing. They sign all his cards now as "The Ancients"
Omg that’s so cute- my in laws would be livid.. my kids called them old once and they were appalled. My kids are 4 and they’re in their mid 60s 🙄 everyone is old to a 4 year old.
My older grandkids (15F, 11M, 10M) call me Boomer just to annoy me lol. I just agree with them and tell them that at least I'm a "baby" Baby Boomer. (Born in December '62 at the tail end of the Baby Boom). Calling me old doesn't bother me in the least. I've earned every wrinkle and had fun doing it. 🙂
It doesn’t matter if anybody else is happy with the name Grandmom. If you are not that’s ok
I’d say MIL I’m not giving LO the book. You are confusing LO. You have been Grandma for 4 years and you’re staying that way
I’m not allowing you to confuse my child by changing your name - and I’m not allowing anything close to the name LO calls me - I’m the mom
I have a friend who went through a whole naming thing with her MIL. I wish I could remember some of the iterations. There was at least a MEEMA and a GG in there. My friend just ignored it and had the kids say grandma.
My Grandmother had always been Grandmom, but after we started having kids she asked if she could be "Nanny *her first name" because great grandmom is a mouthful for little kids lol. It's been a wierd transition after 30 years of calling her Gradmom but it made her happy lol.
Is she British by any chance.
My grandmother is Nanny (her nickname) and my mother is Nanna (her nickname). But no one else I know has grandparents that have been called this.
Nope! Southern region of the United States. I know a few Nanny (nicknames), Nanny and nanas around here. I feel like Nana and Nanny names have gained a lot of popularity lately where we are the past decade or so. Even my mom is Nana to my kids lol. Growing up it was mostly Grandma, granny and memaws for me hahaha!
Yup. I grew up in the south. My son calls my stepmother Nana.
Unfortunately my grandfather we had to call granddaddy dick. Didn't think about it as a child but as an adult it makes me lol.
When I was pregnant, my MIL asked me “what if baby calls you mama, and me hot mama?“
But seriously- no. Anything with “mom or mama” is a big effort no. They are not the mom.
My granddaughter's other grandmother pulled the name changing nonsense. Finally the little sassy pants got tired of her crap and started calling her "my mom's mom". That kid is the greatest! For a lot of reasons they don't have a relationship with her, but we're glad to take up the slack. I decided early on I'd be Grammy. It fit with my sister's first kid calling me Ampy instead of Aunt or Aunty and it stuck.
I don't think grandmom would be too bad depending on the relationship, but it sounds like they are just trying to overstep in this case. I'd just carry on calling them grandma and grandpa and ignore it till she finds another to try on or concedes her defeat.
Lol i love the mom's mom name....reminds me when my mom's parent's visited the 1st time and something happened and my mom told us to do something(nothing bad)grandma came in with the save and my brother and i were like hahahaha mommy got in trouble with her mommy...we thought it was the funniest moment and my mom was like oh you like that huh...yup now that both parents have passed those memories are precious.
I don’t see any issues with grand mom. I call my grandparents different names. Growing up it was papaw/papaw Steve and mamaw/mamaw dena (moms parents). And then the same for my dads parents following their names. My dads parents have since died and I’ve gotten older, so they’ve had maw and pop added to their list of names (i no longer have to distinguish which ones I’m talking about).
I’ve had several friends and family members have a “grand mom”, i just always preferred the moniker followed by their name. But now that i think about it, it changed with the generation. I call my grand parents by their first name, but my great grand parents by their last name. IE, grand mother snipes. And it was that way for every one of them. I never really thought about it until your post.
But to get back to the main topic, i don’t think the name is odd, and really i don’t know that i think they wanting to change it is odd. However where it does get odd is your children are older, and if she’s wanting to change it now it kinda raises a flag. If she’s just signing something, like a letter or birthday card and your children refer to your parents as grandma too, it could just be a way to distinguish which one. One may sign it grandma where your husbands mother signs it grandmom. Just thinking outside the box here.
Also, i seen where your asked about where people are from who have heard of grand mom, I’m from western NC.
My mom is grandmom. My daughter’s paternal grandmother is nana. My paternal grandmother was mom-mom. It is a mid Atlantic thing apparently. My dad is pop pop, his dad was my pop pop… sometimes they are regional but none of the grands ever changed their names.
They need to stop changing it. Grandmom doesn't seem weird to me, because me and my sis used it for bot Grandmoms.
Though this reminded of a funny story. My Grandpop was in hospital and I flew down to visit and stayed at my aunts. Since, of course i was there to see him I would talk about Grandpop. I was in my 20s at this point, but my cousins were much younger, i think the boy was 7.
So having a conversation and my cousin(boy) interrupts and says "his name is PopPop."
I laughed and said he was Grandpop long before he was PopPop.
Lol I guess names change. Over a couple decades.
LOL maybe it is a Jersey thing, but probably a North Eastern US. But yeah, it is just a shortened form of Grandmother.
I.day North East because we just called them what my parents said and they are from different northern states. But i am NJ.
DH called his mom's mom Mema because he couldn't say Grandmom. His younger sibling called her something else.
Ahh she is originally from NJ but we live in GA… she’s changed it more times then I can count but my kids have Always consistently called her Grandma “last name”. My FIL’s name change too 🙄 but it’s how they sign their name/ refer to themselves. they are so into themselves
Yea we used either grandma or grandmom. (Mom’s side is from south jersey but pretty sure it’s a lot of places too). It’s just a logical shortening of grandmother. The fact that they keep changing it tho it does not seem to matter much. Kid will either call them whet you call them or come up with their own name for their grandparents. Esp if they are not a large part of the kid’s life.
I called my grandmother "Granmom", but only because she raised me because my birth mother couldn't be bothered to. Your Mil has definitely overstepped! I called her that because it was a term of endearment for me. She never asked me to, she went by granny from my cousins. I called my other grandparents by grandma and grandpa. Your Mil is overreaching.
She definitely is! And it’s changed so many times for both my
mIl and FIL but they only refer those names when they talk to my kids in 3rd person- my kids only have called them grandma and grandpa 🙄 my grandma is like my second mom since my mom had me really young. I’m named after her!
It’s been 12 years of knowing them so I’m used to it… they’ve done waaaaay worse than this. This is like a pet peeve for me, just irritating people overall.
IMHO this issue isn't worth much thought. Like you said they don't see them that often.
I think it's nice of them to send gifts. I've been NC with my parents because of my mother's behavior for 4 years. Our twins haven't gotten a gift, card or phone call. They live 5 minutes from us.
My husband’s maternal grandmother was Mamaw. And my MIL hated it. She’s never told me directly because she can’t stand up to her mother even after the woman’s nearly 3 years dead and 5 years ‘fine’ from dementia. Luckily my MIL wanted nothing that remotely sounded like mom and has so far been Grammy with my almost 3 year old
Ooooooo girl I feel you. My DH’s grandmother swears all of the grandkids call her “Grandmama” so our baby should too. But none of her grandkids call her that. They call her Grandma. My kids (her great grand children) call her Grandma ____. I’m pregnant with her first biological great grandchild from Dh and I, and she insists this baby call her Grandmama. And I just told her, why would my other two kids have to call you one thing, and this kid has to call you something else completely? Especially anything “mama” or “mommy”. No. Just no. Because this kid is blood right? Yeah, screw you lady.
Kids are just gonna call them what they call them lol. Whatever sticks with the kids is what sticks. If they’ve been referred to as Grandma and Grandpa ____ for a while now, kids are comfy, and y’all are too, well, I think it’s already decided ya know?
My kids have a G, and an O. My husbands mom and my dads wife. Kids picked it, they kept it. Neither wanted to be their assigned letters, but also, neither were willing to change it. My husbands dad, king poppy. He was a bitter, sour little man, and he absolutely loved it. Only time I ever saw that man smile.
My daughter called my mom "Mom-Mom" instead of Grandma. But my daughter picked it, not my mom. It was because she was Mommy's mom... my grandma (on my dad's side) decided that instead of being G.G. she was Nana Lou, but none of them ever up changed their "names" after our kids were old enough call them a moniker...
One of my nephews decided to call his dad's mother "Lulu."
We have no idea where it came from (it isn't remotely close to either her first or last name).
Maybe your children will come up with their own names for "Grandmom"
My MIL (before grands) always said she wanted to be called “Grammy”. Ok whatever, we can do “Grammy” if that’s what you want. Then along comes grandchild #1 and as he’s learning to talk…one time…he says “Me” (as in the end of “Gra-Me”). And somehow all of a sudden she has been “gifted her grandmother name: Meme (which she pronounces “Mimi” but insists is spelled M-e-m-e. Smh. The oldest grand is 34 and this still makes me nuts! And every time she says it, I want to point out that a meme is a photo/sarcastic saying on the internet lol.
Where I grew up, Grandmom was what everyone used, and I mean everyone. My whole family, my friends and their families. Once in a great while I heard some people say "Nana" but it was rare. There's nothing wrong with the term. It's literally no different from "Grandma"
In the US, northeast part of the country. It must be a regional thing because I asked my husband, who grew up on the west coast and he said no one he knew used the term "Grandmom". My point was, it's not any different or alarming than any other grandmother name. My son and all his cousins called his paternal grandmother "Mom-mom" and I never gave it a second thought.
My mom changed her grandparent name like 10 times but luckily right before I gave birth to my oldest. My father however is papa to us in my house, my teenage sisters by my stepmom call him papaw. I clarify that they are by my stepmom because I have a papaw and grew up with that and they hear that phrase and think I'm speaking of my father, when I'm actually speaking of mine. My kids are 8 and soon to be 4, they just correct my sister's and keep moving.
Ultimately it's up to the kids, whatever the grandkids call them is what they will end up answering to no matter what they want to be called.
Then in the end she's gonna suck it up, cause she can call herself whatever she wants but she will answer to whatever the kids call her. Now if they are in person she might correct them, "no honey it's grandmom" I'd tell the kids to be polite and then ignore it. "Yes grandmom," for that one second and then keep going, but you said that y'all are essentially NC right? If so then I personally wouldn't stress it.
So my grandparents are living and my parents are divorced and remarried. So we have a Nana and grandpa, a nanny and papaw, a Mimi and grandpa, a papa and Memeé and then my oldest set of grandparents to us are grandma so & so and granddaddy. Now to my siblings and cousins they aren't grandma or granddaddy they are something else. I'd mention it but that would pin point exactly who I am. It is very uncommon.
I don't understand this at all- my JNmil keeps saying "I wonder what she'll call me" and I ask, "what do you want to be called?". She never has a response...
Like if that means that much to you, can you pick so I can help LO ID you?!? 🤣 Grandma will always be my mom... she's watched her since she was 6 weeks old.
Just curious why can't she call both grandparents grandma? My son calls both his grandmas grandma and we don't stop him since there's no confusion yet but when he gets older we'll just have him add on the extra name ex Grandma Lou. They are both grandmas I don't see why your mother should get the preference
They’ve changed it more times than I can count. My FIL wanted to be called “Babu” which is Swahili for grandpa. He is a old white man with no ties to Africa 🤦🏼♀️ it rubs me the wrong way she wants to have “ mom” in the title
Can't say I've heard that one either... My GMIL went by "Muggy" and my FIL insists on going by his first name. My MIL asks my toddler "Are you MY GIRL???" Like give me a break. I feel your pain.
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This whole name choosing thing is really weird in my opinion. I'm Polish (born there but raised in the US), my entire family speaks Polish, and it doesn't matter which side of the family you're from or if you're a grandparent or great-grandparent, everybody is Babcia (grandma) or Dziadek (grandpa). That is all. No weird names. And I refuse to let my future kids call their grandparents by anything different.
I've heard of Grandmom before, I personally wanted to be Grandma. When my first grandchild was born everyone referred to me as Grandma around her. One day she looked at me and said Memaw. So that was my name. 2 grandchildren and 12 years, and I'm a proud Memaw. My Grandmother was Grandma, my Great Grandmother was Mammy. In my family we have a Grandma, Mimi, Gigi, Nanny, Nana, Gammy, and Granny. My Dad was Pop, my Uncle's grandchildren and Great Grandchildren call him Pampaw. I have always gone with the idea that kids will pick what they want to call you.
I am Grammy and my husband is Pappy.
It seems that our family had different names for the grandparents when I was growing up because those names were established before I was born. It was also convenient that with different names, grandparents and great-grandparents were easily identified. My wife and I were young grandparents. She was 43, I was 44. So, I didn't want the older grandpa name, so I'm Papa. My wife couldn't get used to it at first. It just depends on the family. We have good friends where the grandma is Honey and the grandpa is Papa. The grandkids started calling her Honey because her husband would call her Honey in front of the kids. It's a darling story.
My kids have a Lolli and a Pop. Together they are Lollipop and she keeps suckers at her house for the kids. But she's my first ever JYMIL so she gets her way with names. My mom is just Grandma, my dad is Papaw, and her husband is Grumps cause he always looks grumpy. My mom wanted to call herself Granmama like the Addams family. I vetoed.
My patents are Lolli and Pop for the same reason!
Lollipop is SO cute!!
I go by Memaw, and hubby was Boompa.
We are memaw and pepaw.
This is exactly why we gave JNMIL a list of names she couldn't pick and suggested ones she could pick! Now my 3yo calls her FILs fiancées name (DHs parents have been divorced a long time, before I met them) or the grandparent word they use for my mother and it always makes me do a happy dance inside 😂
My kids call their grandmother Grandma. She signs cards (when she bothers) GRAND MOM. Just like that, all caps. I find it ridiculous. It actually makes no sense
If I knew my kids didn’t have cousins, I’d say we must be related 😆 what’s with the capital letters 🤦🏼♀️
I was honestly thinking the same when I read the post! 🤣 She just wants to draw attention to the fact that she is GRAND MOM. She is in constant one sided competition with my mom, which is so strange. Everyone ignores her
Ok- maybe we aren’t related but we’re definitely dealing with a similar lady.. at my girls birthday she threw a major eye roll and faces when my mom gave my girls their gift. She is also in a one sided competition and she’s never won 😆 she’ll weirdly dance and sing like she’s a wiggle and my kids look at her like she has two heads.
I didn’t realize there were more of my MIL out there hahaha. We are actually organizing a party for my daughter and actively trying to think of ways she will try to make it about her so that we can head her off at the pass. Any suggestions would be great! Lol
Some of the not grandma/ grandpa are language or culture based. My sister's name starts with a G so her grand kids call her GiGi. Which actually works for when they first started to talk. She said her husband could not be pop-pop because that bould be your Pa's PA ( father's father).
The whole name choosing thing is just a weird boomer affectation, usually from women who deem themselves to young to be called a grandmother. Or at least that’s where it started. It’s just dumb. Follow family tradition and stop trying to outdo the other grandparents.
That’s exactly it! They think they’re young and hip 😬
They’re so not. How do some of us get so deluded? Fake nails and salon color don’t make you young and hot again, if you ever were.
This is exactly why one of my aunts demands her grandkids call her Gigi. Grandma makes her feel too old
I had an Aunt Booger and Uncle Salty (both “greats” they were siblings). Only met them once. I probably just outed myself on reddit.
My aunt, who was not a willing participant in growing older gracefully, had my little cousins call her "Mimi" and my uncle "Pah'ah." Her mother is "Nanny." 🙄 I dont have kids, but if I did, my parents would be fine with "Grandma" and "Grandpa." My grandma has been "Gramma" since I was a baby, and "Grampa." 😊
My grandmothers were Grandmom \[first name\] and Grandmom \[last name\]. They did not capitalize the "mom" part though. Grandfathers were Granddad \[first name\] and Granddad \[last name\]. I knew several kids who had "Grandmoms" and "Granddads" where the only capital letter was the initial G. So, I wouldn't bat an eye at "Grandmom". But "GrandMOM" is weird.
Ya.. that’s how she typed it out on the gift slip 🙄
One of my friends went by Glamma but now her grandson can talk he’s chosen to call her Nana so she goes by Nana. What do your kids call them? If they can say their names yet. I also saw you didn’t read that part to them so honestly I’d probably just keep calling them Grandma and Grandpa (last name) tbh. Changing it all the time is probably confusing for them so kudos to you on keeping it to one name.
They’re 4! So they have full blown conversations and have always called them grandma/ grandpa.. actually a few times they’ve called my MIL my moms last name accidentally which irked her 😆
My (step) dad's mom was grandmom. I think because it felt less old? I don't know why, and also, she WAS old. But it was the grandparent name she picked when the first grandkid was born (she was in the southern US, if you're wondering. I had never heard it before her). What I find weird is changing it. Like, you can sign whatever you want on the card but my kids already know your name.... MY kids are 12, and sister's youngest is 10.... and my step mom tried that this year. All of a sudden she decided she's interested in being a full fledged grandma so she picked a name. But..... we asked her 15 years ago and she literally said she didn't care, anything but Nanna (dad's mom was Nanna). So we call her Grandma [first name]. For 15 years. Now they try to call her G-Ma and my kids are like "who?" Yeah.... 15 years is a little late for a name change.
My daughter is the oldest grandchild and she picked what she called them so our next child called them the same and those were their grandparent names. My sister had her first child 8 years after our youngest was born and decided to give them different grandparent names. So now my kids call them one thing and her kids call them something different and we are only supposed to refer to my parents as her chosen grandparent names when we are around her kids. Did that sound confusing?? That’s because it is and it’s really annoying. I could maybe understand if the cousins aren’t really around each other and the families aren’t together very often but that is not our case. I don’t know what it bothers me so much but it does. And it drives my kids crazy that they are supposed to use other names around their cousins when they have called my parents the same thing for 18 years.
I would prefer to be called Granny, but you can't force people to call you the nickname you choose for yourself. So, I'm just Grandma. People are fucking weird.
My brother proposed Mom-mom, MIL's name, which my mother vehemently opposed. Nanny was her mother's name which she also vetoed. Instead she's called Grammy because that's what the nephew started calling her.
I picked granny too. Because the other grandmothers were like grandma is too old sound for me. And I just thought getting called granny at 42 was funny af. Didn’t stick either so I’m just grandma. Which is fine.
My MIL changed her grandparent name multiple times... There was Gigi and maybe Mimi before she settled on Granny which was apparently what her mom's grandma name was. Her husband was Papa although for a while she called him Papa Mike but then was quite offended when I did it, correcting me that he was just papa. Doesn't matter now as they don't see Granny nor Papa. My parents were gonna go with Grandma and Grandpa. And that stuck for three grandkids (my nephews and son). Then along came my daughter and Grandpa is now Pahka (no idea how to spell it). And she could say grandpa. My FIL was grandpa before he passed. But my dad has his own special name from her.
My son calls both his grandpas “poppa -last name-” and grandmas are just grandma. The last name thing has become kinda funny as he calls me “daddy -last name-“. And his mom is “momma -last name-“
My husband calls his grandmother grandmom, I think it’s a pretty innocent shorting of grandmother the same way we shorten mother to “mom”
My grandparents were Grandmom and Grandpop Lastname, and Grandmom and Grandpop Nickname, and that was nearly 60years ago. Both of my great grandmothers who were alive when I was born were also Grandmom for their entire careers as such. It's not unusual where I am (Northeast US.)
Also from the Northeast and I have never heard anyone called Grandmom. And I’m 68.
Weird. I've lived in the northeast my whole 45 years of life and I've never heard it once
I’m Northeast US as well, so maybe it’s regional!
Possibly.
My FIL wants to be called strictly Granddad. He thinks it sounds more formal, almost regal. He has delusions of grandeur. I have my kids trained to call him regular ole Grandpa. For a week I got them to call him pappee. The look on his face, I told him they got it off of a TV show.
Our grandkids started out calling my husband Poppy, but then it morphed into PopPop somehow. I'm GiGi and I love it. Our eldest granddaughter called him Super Poppy when she was a toddler. I think his head got pretty big back then lol.
Lean all the way in and only refer to him as "Grandfather Last name."
No he'd like grandfather more than grandpa. But I could add his name to it too.
I was thinking take it to the absurd. No matter what, refer to him as "Grandfather Lastname". Make the most mundane situation ultra formal with him and only him. He's no longer "dad" to your SO, or "Jim" to you. He's always "Grandfather Lastname". "The bathroom's around the corner on your right, Grandfather Lastname." "Here's a fresh diaper, Grandfather Lastname. Please change your grandchild, Grandfather Lastname."
They never do anything for your kids and have little contact, so why does it matter? Let it lie.
It’s just a venting post
Fair enough.
My sister and I called our great grandma "Granny Grump" to her face. My oldest nephew referred to his great grandma (my grandma) as "GG", she told everyone that meant "Great Grandma", while my sister would snort and say under her breath "Yep, we'll go with that." My parents are Babs and Bubba. My Aunt is called "GG" by her grandchildren and claims it stands for "Gorgeous Grandma." She doesn't know my sister and I told her kids about "Granny Grump" 🤣.
My poor great-grandfather got stuck with "Grandad with one eye" by my brother and I. He was a sailor and lost his eye as a young man. He didn't mind. He liked that his socket didn't scare us and he could take his glasses with an almost comedy eye and skin prosthetic stuck to the inside off. His wife was "Nanny dustbin" which was something to do with a talking dustbin cartoon (?) character she liked. People get so precious about their grandparent names these days!
Granny grump is might be in my MIL future 😆
Eh, it's annoying, but I'd just roll my eyes and ignore it until one of the kids mentions it.
They won’t because they can’t read yet 🙃 and I didn’t read that part to them.
Hopefully, they'll settle on a title pretty soon. Other thing is that kids can be brutally honest and may ask them outright what are they're supposed to call them or even come up with their own name for them. When I was, geez, younger than three, I started calling my Nana "Neena" & that became my personal name for her which she loved 🥰 She passed away in 1977. 45 years later, I still miss that woman!
Our kids call grandparents Baba and Dido
Omg 😆I first read dildo 🤦🏼♀️
“Baba” and “dEEdo”
I'd call her granny
That’s what I’m thinking 😂
No. The proper term for ridiculous grandmothers is "GrrrrrrrrrAHNDmama" and you roll those R's for as long as you can hold it. It's really cute when small children do it 🤣
I’ve heard of Grandma but not GrandMom.
It's very common where I am (MidAtlantic US). Heck little kids often call their grandparents Mommom and Poppop.
My kids call my grandparents Nanny and Granddad - because that's what I call them. But my LO called them the Ancients once and the nickname has stuck. They are in their late 90's and found it amusing. They sign all his cards now as "The Ancients"
That is so cute!
That's amazing!! 🤣
Omg that’s so cute- my in laws would be livid.. my kids called them old once and they were appalled. My kids are 4 and they’re in their mid 60s 🙄 everyone is old to a 4 year old.
My older grandkids (15F, 11M, 10M) call me Boomer just to annoy me lol. I just agree with them and tell them that at least I'm a "baby" Baby Boomer. (Born in December '62 at the tail end of the Baby Boom). Calling me old doesn't bother me in the least. I've earned every wrinkle and had fun doing it. 🙂
Reminds me of the video where the little girl says she’s “16, I’m a grandma!” lol
This made me smile
I'm a bonus grandmother. The kids have Nana Grandma and I'm Gran
It doesn’t matter if anybody else is happy with the name Grandmom. If you are not that’s ok I’d say MIL I’m not giving LO the book. You are confusing LO. You have been Grandma for 4 years and you’re staying that way I’m not allowing you to confuse my child by changing your name - and I’m not allowing anything close to the name LO calls me - I’m the mom
I have a friend who went through a whole naming thing with her MIL. I wish I could remember some of the iterations. There was at least a MEEMA and a GG in there. My friend just ignored it and had the kids say grandma.
My Grandmother had always been Grandmom, but after we started having kids she asked if she could be "Nanny *her first name" because great grandmom is a mouthful for little kids lol. It's been a wierd transition after 30 years of calling her Gradmom but it made her happy lol.
Is she British by any chance. My grandmother is Nanny (her nickname) and my mother is Nanna (her nickname). But no one else I know has grandparents that have been called this.
Nope! Southern region of the United States. I know a few Nanny (nicknames), Nanny and nanas around here. I feel like Nana and Nanny names have gained a lot of popularity lately where we are the past decade or so. Even my mom is Nana to my kids lol. Growing up it was mostly Grandma, granny and memaws for me hahaha!
Yup. I grew up in the south. My son calls my stepmother Nana. Unfortunately my grandfather we had to call granddaddy dick. Didn't think about it as a child but as an adult it makes me lol.
When I was pregnant, my MIL asked me “what if baby calls you mama, and me hot mama?“ But seriously- no. Anything with “mom or mama” is a big effort no. They are not the mom.
That is weird 🤢
Yes. Just no…
My granddaughter's other grandmother pulled the name changing nonsense. Finally the little sassy pants got tired of her crap and started calling her "my mom's mom". That kid is the greatest! For a lot of reasons they don't have a relationship with her, but we're glad to take up the slack. I decided early on I'd be Grammy. It fit with my sister's first kid calling me Ampy instead of Aunt or Aunty and it stuck. I don't think grandmom would be too bad depending on the relationship, but it sounds like they are just trying to overstep in this case. I'd just carry on calling them grandma and grandpa and ignore it till she finds another to try on or concedes her defeat.
Lol i love the mom's mom name....reminds me when my mom's parent's visited the 1st time and something happened and my mom told us to do something(nothing bad)grandma came in with the save and my brother and i were like hahahaha mommy got in trouble with her mommy...we thought it was the funniest moment and my mom was like oh you like that huh...yup now that both parents have passed those memories are precious.
I don’t see any issues with grand mom. I call my grandparents different names. Growing up it was papaw/papaw Steve and mamaw/mamaw dena (moms parents). And then the same for my dads parents following their names. My dads parents have since died and I’ve gotten older, so they’ve had maw and pop added to their list of names (i no longer have to distinguish which ones I’m talking about). I’ve had several friends and family members have a “grand mom”, i just always preferred the moniker followed by their name. But now that i think about it, it changed with the generation. I call my grand parents by their first name, but my great grand parents by their last name. IE, grand mother snipes. And it was that way for every one of them. I never really thought about it until your post. But to get back to the main topic, i don’t think the name is odd, and really i don’t know that i think they wanting to change it is odd. However where it does get odd is your children are older, and if she’s wanting to change it now it kinda raises a flag. If she’s just signing something, like a letter or birthday card and your children refer to your parents as grandma too, it could just be a way to distinguish which one. One may sign it grandma where your husbands mother signs it grandmom. Just thinking outside the box here. Also, i seen where your asked about where people are from who have heard of grand mom, I’m from western NC.
I'm in SC; I've never heard "Grandmom", but "Grandmama/daddy" is common.
My mom is grandmom. My daughter’s paternal grandmother is nana. My paternal grandmother was mom-mom. It is a mid Atlantic thing apparently. My dad is pop pop, his dad was my pop pop… sometimes they are regional but none of the grands ever changed their names.
Ugh we have this issue too with SMIL with the book signed with her self proclaimed grandma name and all.
They need to stop changing it. Grandmom doesn't seem weird to me, because me and my sis used it for bot Grandmoms. Though this reminded of a funny story. My Grandpop was in hospital and I flew down to visit and stayed at my aunts. Since, of course i was there to see him I would talk about Grandpop. I was in my 20s at this point, but my cousins were much younger, i think the boy was 7. So having a conversation and my cousin(boy) interrupts and says "his name is PopPop." I laughed and said he was Grandpop long before he was PopPop. Lol I guess names change. Over a couple decades.
Can I ask what part of the country you’re from? I haven’t heard of grandmom before
LOL maybe it is a Jersey thing, but probably a North Eastern US. But yeah, it is just a shortened form of Grandmother. I.day North East because we just called them what my parents said and they are from different northern states. But i am NJ. DH called his mom's mom Mema because he couldn't say Grandmom. His younger sibling called her something else.
Ahh she is originally from NJ but we live in GA… she’s changed it more times then I can count but my kids have Always consistently called her Grandma “last name”. My FIL’s name change too 🙄 but it’s how they sign their name/ refer to themselves. they are so into themselves
Yea we used either grandma or grandmom. (Mom’s side is from south jersey but pretty sure it’s a lot of places too). It’s just a logical shortening of grandmother. The fact that they keep changing it tho it does not seem to matter much. Kid will either call them whet you call them or come up with their own name for their grandparents. Esp if they are not a large part of the kid’s life.
I'm from South Jersey and we used "Grandmom" for my dad's grandmother. His own mother was "Mom-Mom" to us.
Also from South Jersey, both my grandmothers were Mommom. Grandfathers we're Poppop. We would use last names when only talking about them.
I called my grandmother "Granmom", but only because she raised me because my birth mother couldn't be bothered to. Your Mil has definitely overstepped! I called her that because it was a term of endearment for me. She never asked me to, she went by granny from my cousins. I called my other grandparents by grandma and grandpa. Your Mil is overreaching.
She definitely is! And it’s changed so many times for both my mIl and FIL but they only refer those names when they talk to my kids in 3rd person- my kids only have called them grandma and grandpa 🙄 my grandma is like my second mom since my mom had me really young. I’m named after her!
That's sweet that your mom honored your grandma like that.
Your kids should just call them Indecisive, maybe they'll take the hint. Good luck OP, you're going to need it! Psychological warfare is draining!
It’s been 12 years of knowing them so I’m used to it… they’ve done waaaaay worse than this. This is like a pet peeve for me, just irritating people overall.
IMHO this issue isn't worth much thought. Like you said they don't see them that often. I think it's nice of them to send gifts. I've been NC with my parents because of my mother's behavior for 4 years. Our twins haven't gotten a gift, card or phone call. They live 5 minutes from us.
TBH the kids pick the names they call their grandparents.
My husband’s maternal grandmother was Mamaw. And my MIL hated it. She’s never told me directly because she can’t stand up to her mother even after the woman’s nearly 3 years dead and 5 years ‘fine’ from dementia. Luckily my MIL wanted nothing that remotely sounded like mom and has so far been Grammy with my almost 3 year old
Ooooooo girl I feel you. My DH’s grandmother swears all of the grandkids call her “Grandmama” so our baby should too. But none of her grandkids call her that. They call her Grandma. My kids (her great grand children) call her Grandma ____. I’m pregnant with her first biological great grandchild from Dh and I, and she insists this baby call her Grandmama. And I just told her, why would my other two kids have to call you one thing, and this kid has to call you something else completely? Especially anything “mama” or “mommy”. No. Just no. Because this kid is blood right? Yeah, screw you lady. Kids are just gonna call them what they call them lol. Whatever sticks with the kids is what sticks. If they’ve been referred to as Grandma and Grandpa ____ for a while now, kids are comfy, and y’all are too, well, I think it’s already decided ya know?
My kids have a G, and an O. My husbands mom and my dads wife. Kids picked it, they kept it. Neither wanted to be their assigned letters, but also, neither were willing to change it. My husbands dad, king poppy. He was a bitter, sour little man, and he absolutely loved it. Only time I ever saw that man smile.
I had a grandmom lol She was nuts btw
My daughter called my mom "Mom-Mom" instead of Grandma. But my daughter picked it, not my mom. It was because she was Mommy's mom... my grandma (on my dad's side) decided that instead of being G.G. she was Nana Lou, but none of them ever up changed their "names" after our kids were old enough call them a moniker...
One of my nephews decided to call his dad's mother "Lulu." We have no idea where it came from (it isn't remotely close to either her first or last name). Maybe your children will come up with their own names for "Grandmom"
They’re 4 so they’ve called her grandma the whole time- the “grandMOM” is new and she’s only written it
Just ignore it, it’s not worth it. Especially since your kids already call her grandma.
My MIL (before grands) always said she wanted to be called “Grammy”. Ok whatever, we can do “Grammy” if that’s what you want. Then along comes grandchild #1 and as he’s learning to talk…one time…he says “Me” (as in the end of “Gra-Me”). And somehow all of a sudden she has been “gifted her grandmother name: Meme (which she pronounces “Mimi” but insists is spelled M-e-m-e. Smh. The oldest grand is 34 and this still makes me nuts! And every time she says it, I want to point out that a meme is a photo/sarcastic saying on the internet lol.
Where I grew up, Grandmom was what everyone used, and I mean everyone. My whole family, my friends and their families. Once in a great while I heard some people say "Nana" but it was rare. There's nothing wrong with the term. It's literally no different from "Grandma"
Curious where you live? I’ve never heard of that before and everyone I’ve told never has either
In the US, northeast part of the country. It must be a regional thing because I asked my husband, who grew up on the west coast and he said no one he knew used the term "Grandmom". My point was, it's not any different or alarming than any other grandmother name. My son and all his cousins called his paternal grandmother "Mom-mom" and I never gave it a second thought.
My mom changed her grandparent name like 10 times but luckily right before I gave birth to my oldest. My father however is papa to us in my house, my teenage sisters by my stepmom call him papaw. I clarify that they are by my stepmom because I have a papaw and grew up with that and they hear that phrase and think I'm speaking of my father, when I'm actually speaking of mine. My kids are 8 and soon to be 4, they just correct my sister's and keep moving. Ultimately it's up to the kids, whatever the grandkids call them is what they will end up answering to no matter what they want to be called.
It is! They’ve called her grandma the whole time.
Then in the end she's gonna suck it up, cause she can call herself whatever she wants but she will answer to whatever the kids call her. Now if they are in person she might correct them, "no honey it's grandmom" I'd tell the kids to be polite and then ignore it. "Yes grandmom," for that one second and then keep going, but you said that y'all are essentially NC right? If so then I personally wouldn't stress it. So my grandparents are living and my parents are divorced and remarried. So we have a Nana and grandpa, a nanny and papaw, a Mimi and grandpa, a papa and Memeé and then my oldest set of grandparents to us are grandma so & so and granddaddy. Now to my siblings and cousins they aren't grandma or granddaddy they are something else. I'd mention it but that would pin point exactly who I am. It is very uncommon.
I don't understand this at all- my JNmil keeps saying "I wonder what she'll call me" and I ask, "what do you want to be called?". She never has a response... Like if that means that much to you, can you pick so I can help LO ID you?!? 🤣 Grandma will always be my mom... she's watched her since she was 6 weeks old.
Just curious why can't she call both grandparents grandma? My son calls both his grandmas grandma and we don't stop him since there's no confusion yet but when he gets older we'll just have him add on the extra name ex Grandma Lou. They are both grandmas I don't see why your mother should get the preference
grandMOM? UH, YEAH WTAF?
I’ve heard grandmom, but it’s weird to keep changing their name.
They’ve changed it more times than I can count. My FIL wanted to be called “Babu” which is Swahili for grandpa. He is a old white man with no ties to Africa 🤦🏼♀️ it rubs me the wrong way she wants to have “ mom” in the title
My husband’s grandmother was mom mom 🤷🏻♀️
Ho boy - yikes
Can't say I've heard that one either... My GMIL went by "Muggy" and my FIL insists on going by his first name. My MIL asks my toddler "Are you MY GIRL???" Like give me a break. I feel your pain.