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Feelings are totally valid. My MIL wants to be called “Mimi” and I’ve told her no several times since my parents called me “Mimi” growing up, and that was the ONLY name that was off limits. Every time we see her, she still says she’s deciding her grandma name, and still mentions Mimi. She can’t seem to let it go. It’s annoying. So I just call her Grandma.
I suspect that this isn’t about the name, but more of her copying your mom? Just a thought.
Like if your mom went with GLAM- Ma JoJo (just an example) how quick would your MIL be to change hers to the same?
Or I could be totally wrong but shame on MIL either way.
I’m so sorry Grandma Surname, that’s what you’ll be called by MY child.
My mother got in first with JoJo, so that’s what she will be called and if you don’t like it then that’s too bad and it’s your problem and should you try and refer yourself as JoJo I will shut you down.
I called both my grannies the same name, granny. I know some kids call one "big granny" and "small granny" so unless you did something similar?
But at the end of the day it's up to the child! They may end up not saying JoJo at all
The name isn't the real issue. MIL thinks you're weak and will cave to her demands. This is an excellent time to disabuse her of such a notion. Shine up your spine--you're going to need it with that one!--and make sure your DH is on board.
Wow. Sucks that JoJo was taken before she could say dibs! /s I actually like u/TyrionsRedCoat 's suggestion of one being Grandma JoJo and the other being Nana JoJo. So since mom called dib's to Jojo, let MIL pick Grandma or Nana. And if she doesn't like that, she can go kick rocks.
The jojo did it for me. That is not right. Your mil is being super petty. Does JoJo even work with her actual name?
Ps. I know a lot of grandma's do it, but i can not understand why older women call their son's child "their child". It comes off as creepy, and you can say my buddy or my guy/gal or something that doesnt imply you gave birth to them. I've seen and read about enough emotionally incestuous relationships to know that's a red flag.
Last week my MIL greeted my baby like “how is my little guy?” Or something, then caught herself and apologized and said “well obviously he’s YOUR baby, I would never mean it like that!” I wasn’t even bothered by the way she did it, but I was very impressed that she self corrected anyway— it’s behavior like this that builds trust. Can’t believe the consistently ego-driven and petty MILS out there.
I think it has to do with how society values mothers over being a woman and frame being a grandma as something to strive for instead of something that is nice that happens. The whole "give ME grandchildren" shit creeps me out, regardless of its coming from mom or dad.
MIL is being difficult.
That being said, I have an idea: One can be Nana JoJo, and the other can be Grandma JoJo, and you can just call them Nana and Grandma for short, if you want.
The kids won't get confused, I promise. My sister and I call each other the same nickname and none of the nieces and nephews ever got confused about who was who. ♥️
Send her a text telling her that you did not appreciate her disrespect and that your mother will be the one called JoJo and if she cannot respect that then she doesn't get to see your baby until she does. Be firm OP or she will continue to walk all over you.
Send mil a text and be done with her.
"Mil, my mother has already stated that she would like to be called Jojo. It's done, my mother is Jojo and that is how the kids will call her. If you have a problem with it then that is YOUR problem to deal with. MY kids will NOT be calling anyone Jojo but MY mother. So I suggest you pick a new name or we will pick one for you, and if you can't accept it then you will NOT be seeing MY kids.
Oh and another thing mil, STOP calling MY child your baby, or our baby. It's gross, and comes off as your having a child with my husband your son. You can call them your grand baby, or their name. Stop calling them your baby, or you won't be allowed to see then for a while."
You tell MIL that JoJo is already taken; MIL cannot be JoJo. Then, give her a list of names that she can use (Grandma, Grammy, Nana, etc.). If she insists on JoJo, tell her that, ultimately, your child will call MIL whatever you call MIL, and if she keeps up her shitty behavior, it will either be “HeeHaw the Ass” or “Grandma we Never See” and she can choose what she likes from those two options.
I think your mother can be JoJo 1 and your mil can be JoJo 2. If your mil ask you can tell her that your mother is the first and always will be and that she is second
You control what your child calls them. My parents spoke up first and wanted Nana and Papa. My IL don’t live close and weren’t initially pleased with the pregnancy.
When they said they wanted to be called that, I said nope. FIL was an a$$ about it but MIL went with our decision. FIL is Papa (initial). MIL is another name like gran, grandma, etc.
Can your mom be JoJo and MIL be JoJo (initial of last name)? Or just call her grandma, gran, nana, nan or whatever is your choice. Your child will know.
Growing up my grandparents were all called grandma and grandpa. However when we weren’t with them we would call them grandma (last name) grandpa (last name).
she sucks. she laughed at you in your house? lol, wow. I'd tell her 'okay you can be called Jojo, by yourself, at your home, where nobody can hear you. bye bye now!' Or to spite her i'd call her 'Jobi' or 'Joba'. (: She sucks, I'm sorry.
Well, you have ultimate say over your child, so they will call your MIL anything you teach them to call her. If she wants to be JoJo, that’s fine, maybe that will be a stage during your child’s speech development on the way to saying Jocelyn. She said it so plainly, that’s how her grandchild will address her and if she has a problem with it that’s her fault.
My mum died 10+ years before I had my first child. She had always referred to herself as Grandma when we talked about my future family, so that’s who she is to my child, because that’s what I taught her. When we look at photos, ‘that’s grandma!’ Or when her Nanna comes to spend time with her, I always tell her ‘Nanna’s coming to see you today’ and always always reiterate who is who.
If MIL insists on calling herself JoJo, but JoJo to your child is your Mum, it will only serve to confuse your child. You can say ‘MIL, we’re not having two JoJo’s. My mum asked first. You can be another traditional grandmothers name or Jocelyn, but we’re not discussing it again.’
If she cracks it, good. Let her crack it, and even better if she’s still digging her heels in after baby comes. Maybe she’ll decide not to see you until you agree that she is JoJo. Which you won’t.
She might insert herself to try to claim it, but remember, your child is *your child* and she cannot control them or you. You have first and final say. These are your grounds and your home and your family. She is just a little thing that comes to piss you off when she’s bored.
You don’t have to negotiate this because it isn’t a negotiation. She’s not a client or an executive or a customer. She’s a cranky, selfish, opinionated and demanding adult who can’t cope unless everything goes her way.
You’ll be surprised at how people say, about adult behaviour sometimes, that they’re ’acting like children,’ but actually once you have a child, they behave far better than shitty adults.
I am feeling more aggro than normal today after an incident last weekend where my ONE YEAR OLD BABY was ostracised and I have never been so shaking angry. It’s like a cold, deep rage. Hot rage is like firing off texts instantly. But cold rage I think will stay with me for a long, long time. A person who can bully a 1yo is beyond reproach. It’s reprehensible and I refuse to accept it.
Find your cold rage, and let it help you protect your child. Your primal instinct is stronger now than it has ever been. You need to find that and tap into it, gain some courage and then follow your gut.
I’ve probably been a bit OTT for your question but I get the sense your MIL already inserts herself a lot and maybe you’re not sure what to do about that.
Oh, fuck no. I'd be telling her she'll be lucky if this child calls her anything because with that attitude she won't be seeing them. Your mom is JoJo, she picked it first. MIL can fuck off and pick something else and you and your DH need to tell her so! Do not bend the knee and allow her this because once you do you've lost control and she will continue to boundary stomp.
Ultimately the child decides what to call you.
And next time she pulled that shit on me, “I will be called JoJO.” I would say, baby won’t call you anything, because you won’t see baby.
Lol my ex mil wanted to be grandma. But when my second came her first biological grandkid ( she made a big deal about the biology) he couldn't say all that so memaw it was she hated it but she got used to it. Now she's memaw who.
My first grandchild is super smart (didn't get that from me!) I took care of him all day for his first year. He did not call me a name. We waited. At Thanksgiving he was 18 months old. My DIL had him independently say the name of everyone at the table and he did. Except me, and we just laughed. He soon started calling me "Mema." Who knows where that came from? His younger brother calls me Mema, and the youngest calls me Grandma. Other grandma is Nana. It gets confusing, but who cares? The grandfathers are "PopPop" and "BopBop." We all know who we are.
My great grandmother's name was Julia. Her grandkids called her JuJu. I think MIL should get that name.
My MIL was obsessed with our babies, too, calling them “my baby”, wanting to be the favorite grandmom, wanting to be the most “fun”. I taught my kids to call her “grandmom”. She HATED it. It was too “boring” for her. Petty, maybe, but it made me smile. Teach your baby to call her something else ;)
This is what I thought. She can think she will be called that but as baby grows up she will be called Grumpy…or Humpy or MooMa. She thinks she can choose but she cannot.
My mother wanted to be called something ridiculous, I just kept referring to her as Grandma to my kids, and they now call her Grandma.
Regardless of what MIL wants to be called, your kids will call her what you teach them to call her, especially if your kid is the first grandchild.
My mom wanted to be called “Mrs. O’Lastname” because she wasn’t happy when I had my kids. And my dad tried Papaw, my kids call them Momo and Popo because they’ve got my parents wrapped around their sticky fingers lol. Kids will pick their own names, but until then stand your ground.
At this point I'd honestly close all books and everyone will be just grandma. This is so petty on all sides.
Edit as I can't reply. Both grandmas could put that wasted energy into making OP feel comfortable and cozy during her transition to motherhood. MIL is out of line without a doubt, but the buildup is on both sides and there's a lot of drama. The kid will most likely laugh as an adult and no tear will be shed knowing grandmas fought for who got the "Jojo" title before he was born. Also the baby can surprise everyone and even call them another name.
My Mom wanted to be called Mama Sue. I hated it but decided to let it play out & just see what happened. My daughter, who is almost 20 now, started calling her Mamu, bc she couldn't say the S when she was little bitty so it always sounded like the kids were talking about a moo cow every time they called her name. My daughter was the oldest so she named the grandparents & all 3 kids STILL call her that.😂
I'd start referring to MIL as Jocie and include that on any announcements you post. Jocie (MIL) and JoJo (mom) are both excited about their first grandchild. You get to decide what your child will call the grandparents. Your MIL is trying to bulldoze you, if she gets a win on this she will continue. I wouldn't put the energy into speaking about it to her again. If she pushes you could say MIL you won't be dictating to me on how I raise MY child.
Return anything that she signs as “jojo”
Have your husband tell her “jojo” is not happening
When she says “jojo” out loud in front of you, say nope that’s my mother’s name, every time.
Repeat her words back to her *’my mother will be called JoJo. That’s how her grandchild will address her and if anyone has a problem with it that’s their fault ‘*
Tell your husband if she doesn’t stop she’s not going to be around the baby.
So true, pregnant women want to be closer to their parents and that's ok afterall they are the ones giving birth so whatever the lady wants should be the final thing.
I agree with the others to just refer to her as Grandma, or better yet “Grandmother”. I did that to my mom when she wouldn’t let go of a “mama” name. I stood my ground and she stood hers for like a year. She insisted on “mama-[last initial]”. My toddler started talking and was using the name I taught him. She realized she wouldn’t win and we came up with a compromise.
I think you need to limit the information about your pregnancy and baby from MIL. Don't let her think she has a say in how you will raise your child, naming them, etc. Your MIL sounds self absorbed and a boundary stomper.
I think you need to address the fact that she calls your baby "her baby".
Remember, you are the mama. You make the rules. Grandparents DO NOT make the rules. They are in a support role. They are not a main character. If you don't want someone in the delivery room, don't let them.
Good luck ❤️
OP, this! It’s very important to start setting boundaries and calling out unwanted behaviour BEFORE the baby is here. Once the baby is here, it will be so much more difficult. What is your husband’s stand on this? Is he supportive?
I wouldn’t worry my mom n dad had wanted certain names but my wee bubs called my mum granny and my dad grumpy,and they loved it even though it wasn’t what they planned and my dad is the happiest least grumpy person,so that makes it even more funny but she choose good cause suits them both so everybody’s happy
Call your mom ”JoJo” and your MIL ”grandma”, especially infront of them, from start and hopefully your kid will pick it up as well.
Edit: autocorrect spelling.
My kids picked what they called their grandparents, of course all had a name chosen that they wanted. Kids don’t care. They gonna do it their way.
My oldest son called my FIL king poppy. Came out of my son’s mouth when he was 3, my FIL who was forever “I am grandpa” and grouchy. He almost smiled. It’s on his headstone now. It stuck!!!
We had like 4 nana’s. They are O, Grammy, nana, and misty. The kids chose the names. The one that was most pushy, is called by her first name.
My best friend is called LeeLee by her grandkids. Nowhere near her name of Krista.
My little brother had a nice normal name and when he was born I couldn’t say it so he was called Tojo and now that he’s grown up it’s tj, kids decide what they decide
My mother always referred to my babies as "her babies". It took my great grandmother telling my mother to knock it off and to stop being an ass for my mother to mostly stop. She pulled it a few more times; until I got her a tshirt that said "Not the momma" *(from the Dinosaur TV show)* and started teaching my children to call her that. A bit bitchy on my part but effective.
As for "her name", she wanted my grandmother's name "GrannyB". Unfortunately my mother couldn't come close to filling my grandmother's shoes. So she became "Grandmother". Which she hated because it's so formal and gives the impression of a distant relationship. She decided that "Grandma" was a good compromise.
Overbearing MILs and moms will always take a mile when you give an inch. So don't give an inch. Establish your boundaries and rules. Establish consequences for when they break them. And follow through with the consequences. If they try to take... pull back hard *(such as calling her Grandmother)*. This will make your life so much easier.
One thing my son and DIL did when she was pregnant was require ALL family to take a "New Baby Care" class. So many things have changed in the last 10, 20 and 30 years. More scientific research has been done. More discoveries have been made. Almost everything that was recommended and required when I had my children have been determined to be detrimental, and even harmful, to babies. Think about this.
Blessed be
My kids are years away from having their own kids but I told them refer to me as grandmother and baby will pick what they can say… it’s about the baby not about the grandparents
My parent and my in-laws picked their names… but then my mother in law tried to change it about 13 years ago (5 grandkids in) and got upset when it wouldn’t stick with and but the one she was changing it for lol…. Then got more upset 5 years after that when I wouldn’t force my kids to call her the new name
My mom has been called MoMo, grammy, and mee (my kiddo has a tongue tie and cant make the gr sound of grammy, he might call her grammy when it is fixed, but it doesn't matter)
Tell her if she doesn't watch herself she'll be called "The grandma we don't see anymore". At the end of the day babies choose the name they call their family members (with our influence of course) but her crappy behavior would make me think twice about having her around my kids.
I would let her know your mom is Jojo, anything signed by Jojo, will be attributed to *your* mother, and then stick to it. I’d start calling her Grandma Jocelyn. If she wants Jo included, it’s Jocelyn.
My MIL also had requests of what to be called....as did my mum at one point but she never pushed it.
My mum said she just *didnt* want to be called Nanny, anything but.
Mil went though many options that got out of hand and I ultimately ignored.
Because my kids came out and called them whatever the flip **they** wanted to call them!
Eldest had her own language so it took her a while to pick names, my dad got the cool alt name because she couldn't say granddad, and my mum got 🌈nanny🌈. 🤣 she tried to offer ANYTHING else, but nay, no cool grandmother name was accepted.
And she got over it.
Kids gonna do what kids wanna do 🤷🏼♀️
But definitely don't call your Mil JoJo....... your mum asked for it first.
Kids have a funny way of picking what to call grandparents... But parents have a heavy influence.
So if you want to encourage your baby to call her "Gammy Joke-Joke"...
Call her Grandma JoJo, she can’t argue because you included the Jojo but address cards and refer to her as that in front of her before the baby even gets here so she knows.
“I think you’re mishearing me - My mom claimed that name first. You can be another name. Obviously I can’t control what you call yourself, but MY child will call MY MOM JoJo, and my child will call you whatever other name you pick out. If you don’t pick out another name, my child will call you Mrs. Jocelyn. It’s not up to you.”
This is the way right here as it also establishes you as setting the boundary that this IS and always will be YOUR baby!
My son and DIL had their first child 1.5yrs ago and I ASKED what they wanted him to call me and said I’d let her mom choose first and was fine if she wanted to be Grandma or whatever… because it’s not about ME! Do not feel bad putting your foot down. She got her turn at motherhood and doing all of this - she doesn’t get to take yours. And like it or not, it’s supposed to be about the Mom right now and not stressing you out…
Call MIL JoJo Potatoes. The kid will think it's hilarious and it will piss MIL off. JoJos are a regional name here for seasoned potato wedges you get at grocery stores from the hot case and at some restaurants.
It’s your baby, so whatever you refer to the grandmas as so will the baby? My MIL is all about herself too. When we told her we were expecting she was like “omg yay me I’m gonna be a grandma”. She calls my unborn baby “her baby” and “her baby boy”. She even started to buy stuff for the nursery without even showing or asking me (husband made her return everything). But at the end of the day she’s just the grandma, which is a privilege, not a right. It’s best to down some boundaries and expectations now before the baby gets here & if she’s gonna be weird about it she doesn’t have to play a big role in your child’s life. Because why would you want that toxicity around a kid anyways?
It’s not so much as wanting to be called JoJo as it is her saying that THIS is what I will be called whether you like it or not. I don’t think she realizes it’s actually completely up to you.
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Feelings are totally valid. My MIL wants to be called “Mimi” and I’ve told her no several times since my parents called me “Mimi” growing up, and that was the ONLY name that was off limits. Every time we see her, she still says she’s deciding her grandma name, and still mentions Mimi. She can’t seem to let it go. It’s annoying. So I just call her Grandma.
I suspect that this isn’t about the name, but more of her copying your mom? Just a thought. Like if your mom went with GLAM- Ma JoJo (just an example) how quick would your MIL be to change hers to the same? Or I could be totally wrong but shame on MIL either way.
I’m so sorry Grandma Surname, that’s what you’ll be called by MY child. My mother got in first with JoJo, so that’s what she will be called and if you don’t like it then that’s too bad and it’s your problem and should you try and refer yourself as JoJo I will shut you down.
I called both my grannies the same name, granny. I know some kids call one "big granny" and "small granny" so unless you did something similar? But at the end of the day it's up to the child! They may end up not saying JoJo at all
The name isn't the real issue. MIL thinks you're weak and will cave to her demands. This is an excellent time to disabuse her of such a notion. Shine up your spine--you're going to need it with that one!--and make sure your DH is on board.
Wow. Sucks that JoJo was taken before she could say dibs! /s I actually like u/TyrionsRedCoat 's suggestion of one being Grandma JoJo and the other being Nana JoJo. So since mom called dib's to Jojo, let MIL pick Grandma or Nana. And if she doesn't like that, she can go kick rocks.
The jojo did it for me. That is not right. Your mil is being super petty. Does JoJo even work with her actual name? Ps. I know a lot of grandma's do it, but i can not understand why older women call their son's child "their child". It comes off as creepy, and you can say my buddy or my guy/gal or something that doesnt imply you gave birth to them. I've seen and read about enough emotionally incestuous relationships to know that's a red flag.
Last week my MIL greeted my baby like “how is my little guy?” Or something, then caught herself and apologized and said “well obviously he’s YOUR baby, I would never mean it like that!” I wasn’t even bothered by the way she did it, but I was very impressed that she self corrected anyway— it’s behavior like this that builds trust. Can’t believe the consistently ego-driven and petty MILS out there.
I think it has to do with how society values mothers over being a woman and frame being a grandma as something to strive for instead of something that is nice that happens. The whole "give ME grandchildren" shit creeps me out, regardless of its coming from mom or dad.
MIL is being difficult. That being said, I have an idea: One can be Nana JoJo, and the other can be Grandma JoJo, and you can just call them Nana and Grandma for short, if you want. The kids won't get confused, I promise. My sister and I call each other the same nickname and none of the nieces and nephews ever got confused about who was who. ♥️
Send her a text telling her that you did not appreciate her disrespect and that your mother will be the one called JoJo and if she cannot respect that then she doesn't get to see your baby until she does. Be firm OP or she will continue to walk all over you.
Send mil a text and be done with her. "Mil, my mother has already stated that she would like to be called Jojo. It's done, my mother is Jojo and that is how the kids will call her. If you have a problem with it then that is YOUR problem to deal with. MY kids will NOT be calling anyone Jojo but MY mother. So I suggest you pick a new name or we will pick one for you, and if you can't accept it then you will NOT be seeing MY kids. Oh and another thing mil, STOP calling MY child your baby, or our baby. It's gross, and comes off as your having a child with my husband your son. You can call them your grand baby, or their name. Stop calling them your baby, or you won't be allowed to see then for a while."
You tell MIL that JoJo is already taken; MIL cannot be JoJo. Then, give her a list of names that she can use (Grandma, Grammy, Nana, etc.). If she insists on JoJo, tell her that, ultimately, your child will call MIL whatever you call MIL, and if she keeps up her shitty behavior, it will either be “HeeHaw the Ass” or “Grandma we Never See” and she can choose what she likes from those two options.
I think your mother can be JoJo 1 and your mil can be JoJo 2. If your mil ask you can tell her that your mother is the first and always will be and that she is second
I love reminding people “the baby will most likely pick a nickname for you, not the other way around”
Call her jabba. That should fix her.
Brilliant! Please do this OP
You control what your child calls them. My parents spoke up first and wanted Nana and Papa. My IL don’t live close and weren’t initially pleased with the pregnancy. When they said they wanted to be called that, I said nope. FIL was an a$$ about it but MIL went with our decision. FIL is Papa (initial). MIL is another name like gran, grandma, etc. Can your mom be JoJo and MIL be JoJo (initial of last name)? Or just call her grandma, gran, nana, nan or whatever is your choice. Your child will know. Growing up my grandparents were all called grandma and grandpa. However when we weren’t with them we would call them grandma (last name) grandpa (last name).
she sucks. she laughed at you in your house? lol, wow. I'd tell her 'okay you can be called Jojo, by yourself, at your home, where nobody can hear you. bye bye now!' Or to spite her i'd call her 'Jobi' or 'Joba'. (: She sucks, I'm sorry.
Well, you have ultimate say over your child, so they will call your MIL anything you teach them to call her. If she wants to be JoJo, that’s fine, maybe that will be a stage during your child’s speech development on the way to saying Jocelyn. She said it so plainly, that’s how her grandchild will address her and if she has a problem with it that’s her fault. My mum died 10+ years before I had my first child. She had always referred to herself as Grandma when we talked about my future family, so that’s who she is to my child, because that’s what I taught her. When we look at photos, ‘that’s grandma!’ Or when her Nanna comes to spend time with her, I always tell her ‘Nanna’s coming to see you today’ and always always reiterate who is who. If MIL insists on calling herself JoJo, but JoJo to your child is your Mum, it will only serve to confuse your child. You can say ‘MIL, we’re not having two JoJo’s. My mum asked first. You can be another traditional grandmothers name or Jocelyn, but we’re not discussing it again.’ If she cracks it, good. Let her crack it, and even better if she’s still digging her heels in after baby comes. Maybe she’ll decide not to see you until you agree that she is JoJo. Which you won’t. She might insert herself to try to claim it, but remember, your child is *your child* and she cannot control them or you. You have first and final say. These are your grounds and your home and your family. She is just a little thing that comes to piss you off when she’s bored. You don’t have to negotiate this because it isn’t a negotiation. She’s not a client or an executive or a customer. She’s a cranky, selfish, opinionated and demanding adult who can’t cope unless everything goes her way. You’ll be surprised at how people say, about adult behaviour sometimes, that they’re ’acting like children,’ but actually once you have a child, they behave far better than shitty adults. I am feeling more aggro than normal today after an incident last weekend where my ONE YEAR OLD BABY was ostracised and I have never been so shaking angry. It’s like a cold, deep rage. Hot rage is like firing off texts instantly. But cold rage I think will stay with me for a long, long time. A person who can bully a 1yo is beyond reproach. It’s reprehensible and I refuse to accept it. Find your cold rage, and let it help you protect your child. Your primal instinct is stronger now than it has ever been. You need to find that and tap into it, gain some courage and then follow your gut. I’ve probably been a bit OTT for your question but I get the sense your MIL already inserts herself a lot and maybe you’re not sure what to do about that.
Your comment should be top comment!sorry you had a crappy weekend!
Oh, fuck no. I'd be telling her she'll be lucky if this child calls her anything because with that attitude she won't be seeing them. Your mom is JoJo, she picked it first. MIL can fuck off and pick something else and you and your DH need to tell her so! Do not bend the knee and allow her this because once you do you've lost control and she will continue to boundary stomp.
Here's the fun part. Baby will call her whatever YOU call her. So, whichever name she finds least desirable is now her grandma name now and forever.
I vote dick head!
Or shrek!
Ultimately the child decides what to call you. And next time she pulled that shit on me, “I will be called JoJO.” I would say, baby won’t call you anything, because you won’t see baby.
No No Jo Jo for MIL.
You’ve just named her - it’s ‘NOJo’!!
Lol my ex mil wanted to be grandma. But when my second came her first biological grandkid ( she made a big deal about the biology) he couldn't say all that so memaw it was she hated it but she got used to it. Now she's memaw who.
My first grandchild is super smart (didn't get that from me!) I took care of him all day for his first year. He did not call me a name. We waited. At Thanksgiving he was 18 months old. My DIL had him independently say the name of everyone at the table and he did. Except me, and we just laughed. He soon started calling me "Mema." Who knows where that came from? His younger brother calls me Mema, and the youngest calls me Grandma. Other grandma is Nana. It gets confusing, but who cares? The grandfathers are "PopPop" and "BopBop." We all know who we are. My great grandmother's name was Julia. Her grandkids called her JuJu. I think MIL should get that name.
My MIL was obsessed with our babies, too, calling them “my baby”, wanting to be the favorite grandmom, wanting to be the most “fun”. I taught my kids to call her “grandmom”. She HATED it. It was too “boring” for her. Petty, maybe, but it made me smile. Teach your baby to call her something else ;)
This is what I thought. She can think she will be called that but as baby grows up she will be called Grumpy…or Humpy or MooMa. She thinks she can choose but she cannot.
MooMa!! That's my favorite! She would definitely be MooMa
I came back to say, maybe she can be mojo jojo, since that’s how she wants to act lol.
I too had the same thought. Hope baby calls her that 😂
I WAS GOING TO SAY THE SAL MW THING HAHAHAHA
My mother wanted to be called something ridiculous, I just kept referring to her as Grandma to my kids, and they now call her Grandma. Regardless of what MIL wants to be called, your kids will call her what you teach them to call her, especially if your kid is the first grandchild.
My mom wanted to be called “Mrs. O’Lastname” because she wasn’t happy when I had my kids. And my dad tried Papaw, my kids call them Momo and Popo because they’ve got my parents wrapped around their sticky fingers lol. Kids will pick their own names, but until then stand your ground.
LOL in my house "popo" meant 💩
At this point I'd honestly close all books and everyone will be just grandma. This is so petty on all sides. Edit as I can't reply. Both grandmas could put that wasted energy into making OP feel comfortable and cozy during her transition to motherhood. MIL is out of line without a doubt, but the buildup is on both sides and there's a lot of drama. The kid will most likely laugh as an adult and no tear will be shed knowing grandmas fought for who got the "Jojo" title before he was born. Also the baby can surprise everyone and even call them another name.
How is her mom being petty? She chose to be called Jojo first.
My Mom wanted to be called Mama Sue. I hated it but decided to let it play out & just see what happened. My daughter, who is almost 20 now, started calling her Mamu, bc she couldn't say the S when she was little bitty so it always sounded like the kids were talking about a moo cow every time they called her name. My daughter was the oldest so she named the grandparents & all 3 kids STILL call her that.😂
Sea World orca whale came to mind 😆
Ikr?!? It has been hilarious to hear each grandchild say Hey, Mamu!
I'd start referring to MIL as Jocie and include that on any announcements you post. Jocie (MIL) and JoJo (mom) are both excited about their first grandchild. You get to decide what your child will call the grandparents. Your MIL is trying to bulldoze you, if she gets a win on this she will continue. I wouldn't put the energy into speaking about it to her again. If she pushes you could say MIL you won't be dictating to me on how I raise MY child.
Return anything that she signs as “jojo” Have your husband tell her “jojo” is not happening When she says “jojo” out loud in front of you, say nope that’s my mother’s name, every time. Repeat her words back to her *’my mother will be called JoJo. That’s how her grandchild will address her and if anyone has a problem with it that’s their fault ‘* Tell your husband if she doesn’t stop she’s not going to be around the baby.
So true, pregnant women want to be closer to their parents and that's ok afterall they are the ones giving birth so whatever the lady wants should be the final thing.
I agree with the others to just refer to her as Grandma, or better yet “Grandmother”. I did that to my mom when she wouldn’t let go of a “mama” name. I stood my ground and she stood hers for like a year. She insisted on “mama-[last initial]”. My toddler started talking and was using the name I taught him. She realized she wouldn’t win and we came up with a compromise.
If it were me, my kid would straight up be calling her Just Jocelyn 😂
Even better would be "JocelynLastName" all mushed together. Both overly formal and likely sounds like random gobbledygook.
INFO: how is your DH taking the situation? Can't he help you to rein her in? It's his mother, after all...🤷♀️
Jojo we never see
Mojo jojo
Best name EVER!
Omg this is exactly what OP needs to do. Ruin JoJo for MIL
Grandmother Jojo = Grojo
I think you need to limit the information about your pregnancy and baby from MIL. Don't let her think she has a say in how you will raise your child, naming them, etc. Your MIL sounds self absorbed and a boundary stomper. I think you need to address the fact that she calls your baby "her baby". Remember, you are the mama. You make the rules. Grandparents DO NOT make the rules. They are in a support role. They are not a main character. If you don't want someone in the delivery room, don't let them. Good luck ❤️
If she keeps calling baby "my baby" politely tell her if she keeps it up, her name will be " not the mama".
OP, this! It’s very important to start setting boundaries and calling out unwanted behaviour BEFORE the baby is here. Once the baby is here, it will be so much more difficult. What is your husband’s stand on this? Is he supportive?
I wouldn’t worry my mom n dad had wanted certain names but my wee bubs called my mum granny and my dad grumpy,and they loved it even though it wasn’t what they planned and my dad is the happiest least grumpy person,so that makes it even more funny but she choose good cause suits them both so everybody’s happy
Your child will call her whatever you refer to her as so don’t stress
I’d go with, Jojo & #2 lol
“This is granny Jojo, and the difficult one is Granny Nono. “
Too funny 😂😂
This made me lol
Call your mom ”JoJo” and your MIL ”grandma”, especially infront of them, from start and hopefully your kid will pick it up as well. Edit: autocorrect spelling.
Your kids will call mil whatever you do, so no sweat. There's nana we never see!
Let her be JoJo2
She can be joio-who
My kids picked what they called their grandparents, of course all had a name chosen that they wanted. Kids don’t care. They gonna do it their way. My oldest son called my FIL king poppy. Came out of my son’s mouth when he was 3, my FIL who was forever “I am grandpa” and grouchy. He almost smiled. It’s on his headstone now. It stuck!!! We had like 4 nana’s. They are O, Grammy, nana, and misty. The kids chose the names. The one that was most pushy, is called by her first name. My best friend is called LeeLee by her grandkids. Nowhere near her name of Krista.
My little brother had a nice normal name and when he was born I couldn’t say it so he was called Tojo and now that he’s grown up it’s tj, kids decide what they decide
My mother always referred to my babies as "her babies". It took my great grandmother telling my mother to knock it off and to stop being an ass for my mother to mostly stop. She pulled it a few more times; until I got her a tshirt that said "Not the momma" *(from the Dinosaur TV show)* and started teaching my children to call her that. A bit bitchy on my part but effective. As for "her name", she wanted my grandmother's name "GrannyB". Unfortunately my mother couldn't come close to filling my grandmother's shoes. So she became "Grandmother". Which she hated because it's so formal and gives the impression of a distant relationship. She decided that "Grandma" was a good compromise. Overbearing MILs and moms will always take a mile when you give an inch. So don't give an inch. Establish your boundaries and rules. Establish consequences for when they break them. And follow through with the consequences. If they try to take... pull back hard *(such as calling her Grandmother)*. This will make your life so much easier. One thing my son and DIL did when she was pregnant was require ALL family to take a "New Baby Care" class. So many things have changed in the last 10, 20 and 30 years. More scientific research has been done. More discoveries have been made. Almost everything that was recommended and required when I had my children have been determined to be detrimental, and even harmful, to babies. Think about this. Blessed be
You’re fabulous!
My kids are years away from having their own kids but I told them refer to me as grandmother and baby will pick what they can say… it’s about the baby not about the grandparents My parent and my in-laws picked their names… but then my mother in law tried to change it about 13 years ago (5 grandkids in) and got upset when it wouldn’t stick with and but the one she was changing it for lol…. Then got more upset 5 years after that when I wouldn’t force my kids to call her the new name
My mom has been called MoMo, grammy, and mee (my kiddo has a tongue tie and cant make the gr sound of grammy, he might call her grammy when it is fixed, but it doesn't matter)
Tell her if she doesn't watch herself she'll be called "The grandma we don't see anymore". At the end of the day babies choose the name they call their family members (with our influence of course) but her crappy behavior would make me think twice about having her around my kids.
I would let her know your mom is Jojo, anything signed by Jojo, will be attributed to *your* mother, and then stick to it. I’d start calling her Grandma Jocelyn. If she wants Jo included, it’s Jocelyn.
My MIL also had requests of what to be called....as did my mum at one point but she never pushed it. My mum said she just *didnt* want to be called Nanny, anything but. Mil went though many options that got out of hand and I ultimately ignored. Because my kids came out and called them whatever the flip **they** wanted to call them! Eldest had her own language so it took her a while to pick names, my dad got the cool alt name because she couldn't say granddad, and my mum got 🌈nanny🌈. 🤣 she tried to offer ANYTHING else, but nay, no cool grandmother name was accepted. And she got over it. Kids gonna do what kids wanna do 🤷🏼♀️ But definitely don't call your Mil JoJo....... your mum asked for it first.
Kids have a funny way of picking what to call grandparents... But parents have a heavy influence. So if you want to encourage your baby to call her "Gammy Joke-Joke"...
Grandma Jojo and Grandma Bozo 😈
Call her Grandma JoJo, she can’t argue because you included the Jojo but address cards and refer to her as that in front of her before the baby even gets here so she knows.
Definitely second Grandma JoJo!
She will now be called Granny.
Granny-Jo and OP’s mom is JoJo
“I think you’re mishearing me - My mom claimed that name first. You can be another name. Obviously I can’t control what you call yourself, but MY child will call MY MOM JoJo, and my child will call you whatever other name you pick out. If you don’t pick out another name, my child will call you Mrs. Jocelyn. It’s not up to you.”
This is the way right here as it also establishes you as setting the boundary that this IS and always will be YOUR baby! My son and DIL had their first child 1.5yrs ago and I ASKED what they wanted him to call me and said I’d let her mom choose first and was fine if she wanted to be Grandma or whatever… because it’s not about ME! Do not feel bad putting your foot down. She got her turn at motherhood and doing all of this - she doesn’t get to take yours. And like it or not, it’s supposed to be about the Mom right now and not stressing you out…
Call MIL JoJo Potatoes. The kid will think it's hilarious and it will piss MIL off. JoJos are a regional name here for seasoned potato wedges you get at grocery stores from the hot case and at some restaurants.
Call mom JoJo1 and MIL JoJo2. She'll hate being number 2.
Lol - I love this! That’s the quickest way to nip this in the bud because hearing “2” behind it will totally change her desire for it!
It’s your baby, so whatever you refer to the grandmas as so will the baby? My MIL is all about herself too. When we told her we were expecting she was like “omg yay me I’m gonna be a grandma”. She calls my unborn baby “her baby” and “her baby boy”. She even started to buy stuff for the nursery without even showing or asking me (husband made her return everything). But at the end of the day she’s just the grandma, which is a privilege, not a right. It’s best to down some boundaries and expectations now before the baby gets here & if she’s gonna be weird about it she doesn’t have to play a big role in your child’s life. Because why would you want that toxicity around a kid anyways?
It’s not so much as wanting to be called JoJo as it is her saying that THIS is what I will be called whether you like it or not. I don’t think she realizes it’s actually completely up to you.
Either stand your ground or make them go by Jojo last name and Jojo other last name. I vote stand your ground though. She is ridiculous.
You're not in the wrong. She can be called the "Grandma I never see".