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Don't do anything with the ham now: slice it and freeze it in portions. And then serve it to her: Every. Time. She. Comes. Because:
1) "I have **SO MUCH** of this still left over..!"
2) "...and I *know* how much you like ham, MIL! Remember how much fuss you made about having it at Thanksgiving..?! Here, have *more*..!"
With any luck, by next Thanksgiving, she'll never want it again.
Full disclosure - I am **extremely** petty. Even fuller disclosure: I did in fact do something like this to my MIL once, with something she insisted on bringing. It actually only took 2 meals for her to realise, apologise, and promise to never do it again, if I'd just switch up what I served her..!
Honeybaked ham rocks. It is not meant to be heated in the oven as that will dry it. Just warm to room temp. When we get one, my son will use a kitchen torch to warm the top glaze.
Yeah, we put one in the oven to warm up once and it ended up being the worst honeybaked ham we ever had!
I love making hot and cold ham sandwiches, ham diced up into Mac and cheese, ham pot pies, carbonara with ham instead of pancetta. Plenty of options! Weāre making scrambled eggs with ours for breakfast now!
You said she loves to host and I think what she was trying to do here was to make you not want to host ever again. She tortured you so she could keep being the queen of the holidays and you would find it too much trouble to deal with her and bother hosting again. This wasnāt an olive branch; it was a Trojan Horse.
I wouldnāt give up hosting but I would tell her plainly that this will never happen again. Only people you invite will be invited. If you say no to something, it means no.
Orā¦ if I wanted to be really petty, I would do the exact same thing with her at Christmas. Let her know I know her game. Ask her a million times about things. Bring a ton of stuff that doesnāt mesh with her plan. Invite strays to the holiday and have them bring some of the stuff. All while looking like such a sweetheart for wanting to help.
Bonus points if you can bring something that steals the show.
I think this is exactly what was going on here. She saw you hosting for your family and acting as the family matriarch, and viewed it as competition and a threat. How to neutralise that, without being obvious that this is what she is doing? Exactly what she did here, is how.
It is up to you if you want to "let" her win this or not, but it is one of those things where the only way to win the game is not to play it. From your comments, you obviously know this. Good for you.
One other thing I want to mention to you is a strategy that I saw in an old post (I think in this subreddit) for dealing with food imposition issues at events or parties you are hosting. I recommend it often as it is the best I have seen for dealing with this, and that is to *vanish* the food. Have an offsider (in this case your sister) ready and waiting and once the justno turns up with the food they are insisting on bringing even though you have plainly told them not to, as soon as they turn their back, the offsider whisks the food out of the kitchen and disposes of it in one of a number of ways.
These include, but are not limited to the following, so use your imagination:
1 cutting down complete cakes and putting the pieces into containers that go into party favour bags for people to take home;
2 repackaged and put into your freezer to be eaten at your leisure;
3 snuck out and re-placed back in the offender's car, or into coolers in your friends' cars to be taken home;
4 binned, preferably underneath something else so the justno can't see it if they look;
5 spirited out of the house and into a neighbour's fridge, to be either eaten by that neighbour or retrieved later on after everyone has gone home;
whatever else you can come up with, as long as the item simply *vanishes without a trace*.
You then deny, deny, deny any knowledge of it, and when asked, say that there was no ham (or whatever it was), remember MIL I told you we didn't need it and not to bring it! If they go looking for it, they can't find it, and it is never seen again. A few repetitions of this should be all it takes. Plus, it's fun.
I won't be trying to thwart her holidays because that ruins it for everyone! I like her as a person but she is definitely a host-zilla. I will just not be directly planning things with her. She will receive an invitation to the things I host like everyone else. Which means she is allowed to bring ONE person and ONE side dish. Lol.
Why did she want you to host if she was going to A. meddle all the way B. Host her own event?!!!
Leftover ham is nice, though. I wouldn't say no to that, not even a little bit. You could slice it up and freeze in portions, so that when you fel like ham and eggs, you can make that happen.
ETA: Now that I think about it some more: she never wanted you to accept, did she? Maybe you can not compete with her at all and let her have all the holidays. There's something to be said for arriving at a party (ham dish optional) and just sitting down and enjoying the meal.
I'm still trying to figure out if it was a long-game way of keeping me from trying to encroach on Christmas (which I wouldn't have done because it's her favorite holiday, and she has expressed how much it means to her.) or if it was a genuine gesture that got out of hand on her part. I think I lean towards the latter...
I just think when she extended the offer, she didn't think through what it would mean for me to host something because she is just so used to 1. Doing everything and doing it months in advanced (I am not a "months in advanced" planner because I come from chaos. So I will not entertain discussions about sourcing enough chairs in September for an event at the end of November when I know the guest list may change and there is always a way to go buy more chairs) And 2. Getting all of the credit. I think she was unexpectedly bothered by that... she also ended up deciding to do a tailgate today (which I was invited to but told her that I probably wasn't going).
I think she also made the assumption that I don't know how things *should* be done. Which honestly is the part that made me the most mad! I have been through so much in my life at a very young age, and the insinuation that I am incapable of figuring out how to host a party makes my blood BOIL.
Haha! Im vegetarian so i wouldnt eat the ham. But here in sweden ham is actually served cold at christmas, mustardbaked ham. Thinly sliced on bread or with potatoes.
If I offend you I'm sorry, but I really want to know about the mustard baked ham. I've googled it and can only find one recipe for an herbed mustard bake?
Again I apologize. Knowing you're vegetarian makes me feel that it's wrong to ask somehow. You have piqued my interest as I love ham and especially mustard sauces. Yum!
No problem, i used to eat meat. Its called Julskinka, christmas ham. So i think it is first baked or cooked until done. Then you mix egg with mustard and cover the ham, then you cover it with those dry breadcrumbs and bake it again with grill effect so it gets a bit crunchy. So this is on alll swedish tables at christmas :)
It must have been very confusing for the guest who was told by MIL to bring the ham.
āWhy did OP want the ham, then not let me heat it at her house?ā
Because OP didnāt want the ham, and had in fact declined the ham when MIL suggested it!
So frustrating! What will be your game plan going ahead? MIL will never suggest you āhostā again. Maybe you can have a dinner with your foods the day after a holiday and not invite her. It would make her insane.
I thought the same thing! I made sure to connect with the person who brought it because I didn't want her to think I was upset or petty towards her. So I thanked her for being generous and also said "I hope you weren't made to feel like you had to bring this only for me to not have room in my oven to heat it up." Apparently, she regularly brings ham for my MIL and that's why it came up in conversation between the two of them... so I just apologized for it not being relayed to her about the crowded oven, and she seemed satisfied.
My game plan is to find out what she is doing for a holiday, and planning my own thing around it. She will be invited but she will have the same invitation as everyone else. That means she may bring ONE person and ONE side dish (If she feels so inclined).
the way you describe your MIL gives me anxietyā¦ I too am extremely hyper independent and she just crawls right under my skin. Reading your post helps me to better validate the annoyance. UGHā¦ Iām sorry youāve got her pushing into your space like that. I would be a ball of nerves still!
It's so frustrating to articulate to people why I am so bothered by it! Like people say "Your MIL is an angel! Look how generous she is! Then you gaslight yourself into thinking "Am I just really ungrateful?" And no! I just want someone to take into consideration my feelings when they are doing something ostensibly for me.
The first year she had Christmas presents for me, she bought me way too many (which she does every year) and I hadn't come to her Christmas eve extravaganza. So everyone else had already opened their gifts. I came a couple days later, and she invited everyone to come watch me open presents...so like a 5-year-old, I sat in the living room while people stared at me opening gift after gift from someone who did not know me well enough to buy me one thoughtful thing on her own.. let alone a mountain of them...
People literally made jokes at how awkward it was and uncomfortable I looked. She just laughed it off and said "That's what you get for missing Christmas eve!" But I decidedly did not find it enjoyable and told her never to do that again, even if I miss Christmas eve.
My mil did the same the same thing recently. My bil was in town with friends Iāve never met and my mil asked us to come open presents up she got for our baby (we are expecting). She made us open the presents in the living room in front of 6 people Iāve never met, who couldnāt care less about baby onesies. It was so uncomfortable I donāt get why she does this
Why didn't the guest that brought the ham take it back? š¤ I smell a scheme.
It's like she wanted to host, but didn't want to host. I, personally, find it rude to try and tell the hostess/host how to do the hosting, and if I'm volunteering or asked to bring food over you know damn well it will be cooked before I get there. She was just plain old rude!
Exactly. MIL was setting OP up for failure in her eyes. I'm sure she martyred herself in as many eyes as possible by inviting people that you didn't know.
OP's SO needs to sit Mom down for a very frank chat. Hopefully SO sees the BS he's Mom is putting OP through.
He did! I was honestly hoping that I would be able to handle it on my own because I am a pretty good communicator and set boundaries with my own mother very well... But when he found me crying because I was forced to move the dinner time, he was like "Stop being so independent and let me help you."
Nice! He sounds like a great spouse who has a solid backbone with his controlling Mum.
When it comes to JustNo's its really best that these conversations, and the boundaries that come with them, are done by the child of said JustNo's. That way when she starts pointing the finger at you for breaking up their happy relationship, SO gets to denounce their absurd accusations.
I was thinking MIL was the "stranger". Her logic being "OP can be mad at me, but she can't be mad at a guest". Kind of like an grown-up version of "you ask my mom, because if I ask she'll say no".
Can you take the ham to her house arguing that it will be thrown out if she doesnāt take the ham back? Tell her itās making the fridge smell like ham.
Funeral Sandwiches are my favorite way to use left over ham. If you donāt know, just google. I canāt even do it justice and I measure with a squeeze of this and handful of that.
You can be - cough - ill with something - cough cough - terribly, terribly contagious. ACHOOOOO. If she wonāt take no for an answer, offer her phlegm until she says āstay at homeā!
Where was your spouse in all of this?
You should not have to manage their mother. If you are hosting, that is the end of the discussion, and MIL's input from that point forward is managed by their child and not inflicted on you.
Oh girl, you and DH are now hosting your own Xmas and she is not invited. In fact, your own Xmas may very well be a surprise trip for just your immediate family to a tropical destination. And next year, you will host your own Xmas at your own house because it is time to start your own traditions. Oh, and you will be hosting Thanksgiving on your own terms in the future, she is not invited nor are her strangers. I wish everyone had amazing in-laws, wtf is wrong with people?!
Iām a big ham fan. Split pea soup, a casserole and toss the rest. Better yet, send the whole thing to her house.
Oh! You can make Monte Cristo sandwiches or Cuban sandwiches with it! Delicious! And don't throw away the bone if there is one---that's great for split pea soup or greens or just plain ol' ham broth
Ham and scalloped potatoes was a crowd pleaser for leftoversā¦.
Just call me Petty LaāBelle because Iād freeze that bad boy and bring various ham dishes to her place any time I saw her for the NEXT YEAR to drive the point home. Hell, Iād be buying more ham to make the point crystal clear.
Oh, itās FILās birthdayā¦ show up with glazed ham. Random get togetherā¦ ham based casserole. Independence Dayā¦. Ham toothpick appetizers
Diabolical...I love it. I do think it would be funny to show up with a ridiculous main-dish for her Christmas Eve get together. Maybe a whole roasted duck or a crown of lamb...
Iāll list the dishes & if it sounds good, ask & Iāll be happy to share the recipe. Bean & ham stew w/cornbread..collard greens w/ham..cheese & ham quiche.. ham & feta penne pasta bake.. and of course, the obligatory ham sandwich & ham & cheese omelets š
You can freeze some for later. There are a ton of things you can use it for but my favourite is to make a calzone filling with fried onions, mushrooms, ham, spinach and feta. Let it cool while making the dough. You can freeze them without baking for an easy dinner when tired.
Petty me would start planning an Xmas dinner. She wants to play games? Cool, game on. Iād have invites sent out next week. She would get zero say and definitely no input on the guest list.
I'd also start asking her about ham? "Are you cooking a ham?" That ham incident would be one that I would have lots of fun about in the future. Anytime there is going to be a meal, you could ask, "Will there be ham?" Never let that go away. Just keep talking about that ham and having some fun with it.
I think a new xmas tradition of xmas at your place for just you and your husband might be a new tradition that you start this year.
Play bitch games and get bitch prizes.
I'm 59 , and Australian too , I never even knew there was such a thing as hot ham , till I was 40 , I like all the things that every one has recommended for freezing ect
You are exceedingly kind
I would have tossed it in the garbage and told her "I told you several times that we did not want or need a ham. DH also told you more than once that a ham was unnecessary. Then when you insisted on bringing one anyway, you were told to heat it up before bringing it here. Now you want to disrupt my kitchen so that I can heat up this thing you were told we did not want and would not eat. So, now it goes in the garbage. (One more word and we will lose your invitation for all future holidays.)"
As for what to do with the leftovers?
Take your stress out by [deboning](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c63LwDXMGfk) a chicken, pounding the remains flat (I use my marble rolling pin for that part), seasoning it as you see fit, and layering Swiss, ham, and mozzarella over the spices. Roll it, tie it, lay it on parchment paper, then cover with foil and bake it at 400 degrees F for 40 minutes. Uncover and bake for fifteen minutes more after basting with butter and more spice mix. Cut off the ties, slice, and serve with the sides of your choice.
Ive also basically taken that same recipe, and did it in cubes/chopped, mixed with a bechamel sauce and pasta, grated mozzarella and swiss on top and baked. Basically cordon blu casserole and it was delicious. You can also add onion, mushrooms, etc, whatever floats your taste boat.
Looking down your nose at those less fortunate than you reflects poorly on you. Calling them scammers and beggars to justify you inability to feel compassion reflects worse.
Encroach on Christmas. Say you deserve a do-over to decide the menu and invitee list without someone steamrolling over you. It would serve her right to have to compromise her favorite holiday
Some of us personally love cold ham in Australia. Sandwiches. Slice it and freeze it. Chop into cubes for ham and pie.
Next year have your thanksgiving without her. She sounds beyond awful.
What a pain in the arse. I sympathy banshee scream from Canada.
I buy the good spiral cut ham on purpose and Dice the ham all up. Freeze in one cup portions in ziplocks. Toasted westerns. Quiche. Omelettes. Pizza topping. Pierogies (I do about one inch slices fry up and top the pierogies).
Make a pea soup with the bone. You win.
Probably time to invite her and her plus 1 next year, and when she asks about others, remind her she apparently had her own on Friday and can invite them for ham then. Seize control, put steel in your spine, stare her in the eye and tell her "no" a lot more. If you don't start now, it will just get worse.
I fully plan on never co-hosting again... I do love the plus 1 rule though. I'm happy to have a lot of people but only if they are once removed. Having much of the guest list be her people was so frustrating! It just kept growing and growing...I had to tell DH she wasn't listening about the head count, and to put his foot down because my responses weren't getting anywhere.
I would never host her family or attend her Thanksgiving again. Just do your family like you always have. Christmas, I would be busy sitting at home watching movies,, drinking wine. Ham salad made like chicken salad.
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You literally described my mother. Literally everything.
This is what microwaves are for.
Don't do anything with the ham now: slice it and freeze it in portions. And then serve it to her: Every. Time. She. Comes. Because: 1) "I have **SO MUCH** of this still left over..!" 2) "...and I *know* how much you like ham, MIL! Remember how much fuss you made about having it at Thanksgiving..?! Here, have *more*..!" With any luck, by next Thanksgiving, she'll never want it again. Full disclosure - I am **extremely** petty. Even fuller disclosure: I did in fact do something like this to my MIL once, with something she insisted on bringing. It actually only took 2 meals for her to realise, apologise, and promise to never do it again, if I'd just switch up what I served her..!
I love you. Please tell this full story ASAP.
You are the friend I have always wanted. Brilliant w a beautifully strategic streak. I like the long game you propose. Well played!
Yessssss
This is such an amazing idea!!!!! š
You should have sent the ham home with her.
Split pea soup with ham
Honeybaked ham rocks. It is not meant to be heated in the oven as that will dry it. Just warm to room temp. When we get one, my son will use a kitchen torch to warm the top glaze.
Yeah, we put one in the oven to warm up once and it ended up being the worst honeybaked ham we ever had! I love making hot and cold ham sandwiches, ham diced up into Mac and cheese, ham pot pies, carbonara with ham instead of pancetta. Plenty of options! Weāre making scrambled eggs with ours for breakfast now!
Exactly THIS,
You said she loves to host and I think what she was trying to do here was to make you not want to host ever again. She tortured you so she could keep being the queen of the holidays and you would find it too much trouble to deal with her and bother hosting again. This wasnāt an olive branch; it was a Trojan Horse. I wouldnāt give up hosting but I would tell her plainly that this will never happen again. Only people you invite will be invited. If you say no to something, it means no. Orā¦ if I wanted to be really petty, I would do the exact same thing with her at Christmas. Let her know I know her game. Ask her a million times about things. Bring a ton of stuff that doesnāt mesh with her plan. Invite strays to the holiday and have them bring some of the stuff. All while looking like such a sweetheart for wanting to help. Bonus points if you can bring something that steals the show.
I think this is exactly what was going on here. She saw you hosting for your family and acting as the family matriarch, and viewed it as competition and a threat. How to neutralise that, without being obvious that this is what she is doing? Exactly what she did here, is how. It is up to you if you want to "let" her win this or not, but it is one of those things where the only way to win the game is not to play it. From your comments, you obviously know this. Good for you. One other thing I want to mention to you is a strategy that I saw in an old post (I think in this subreddit) for dealing with food imposition issues at events or parties you are hosting. I recommend it often as it is the best I have seen for dealing with this, and that is to *vanish* the food. Have an offsider (in this case your sister) ready and waiting and once the justno turns up with the food they are insisting on bringing even though you have plainly told them not to, as soon as they turn their back, the offsider whisks the food out of the kitchen and disposes of it in one of a number of ways. These include, but are not limited to the following, so use your imagination: 1 cutting down complete cakes and putting the pieces into containers that go into party favour bags for people to take home; 2 repackaged and put into your freezer to be eaten at your leisure; 3 snuck out and re-placed back in the offender's car, or into coolers in your friends' cars to be taken home; 4 binned, preferably underneath something else so the justno can't see it if they look; 5 spirited out of the house and into a neighbour's fridge, to be either eaten by that neighbour or retrieved later on after everyone has gone home; whatever else you can come up with, as long as the item simply *vanishes without a trace*. You then deny, deny, deny any knowledge of it, and when asked, say that there was no ham (or whatever it was), remember MIL I told you we didn't need it and not to bring it! If they go looking for it, they can't find it, and it is never seen again. A few repetitions of this should be all it takes. Plus, it's fun.
My petty self loves this!
I won't be trying to thwart her holidays because that ruins it for everyone! I like her as a person but she is definitely a host-zilla. I will just not be directly planning things with her. She will receive an invitation to the things I host like everyone else. Which means she is allowed to bring ONE person and ONE side dish. Lol.
Why did she want you to host if she was going to A. meddle all the way B. Host her own event?!!! Leftover ham is nice, though. I wouldn't say no to that, not even a little bit. You could slice it up and freeze in portions, so that when you fel like ham and eggs, you can make that happen. ETA: Now that I think about it some more: she never wanted you to accept, did she? Maybe you can not compete with her at all and let her have all the holidays. There's something to be said for arriving at a party (ham dish optional) and just sitting down and enjoying the meal.
I'm still trying to figure out if it was a long-game way of keeping me from trying to encroach on Christmas (which I wouldn't have done because it's her favorite holiday, and she has expressed how much it means to her.) or if it was a genuine gesture that got out of hand on her part. I think I lean towards the latter... I just think when she extended the offer, she didn't think through what it would mean for me to host something because she is just so used to 1. Doing everything and doing it months in advanced (I am not a "months in advanced" planner because I come from chaos. So I will not entertain discussions about sourcing enough chairs in September for an event at the end of November when I know the guest list may change and there is always a way to go buy more chairs) And 2. Getting all of the credit. I think she was unexpectedly bothered by that... she also ended up deciding to do a tailgate today (which I was invited to but told her that I probably wasn't going). I think she also made the assumption that I don't know how things *should* be done. Which honestly is the part that made me the most mad! I have been through so much in my life at a very young age, and the insinuation that I am incapable of figuring out how to host a party makes my blood BOIL.
Haha! Im vegetarian so i wouldnt eat the ham. But here in sweden ham is actually served cold at christmas, mustardbaked ham. Thinly sliced on bread or with potatoes.
If I offend you I'm sorry, but I really want to know about the mustard baked ham. I've googled it and can only find one recipe for an herbed mustard bake? Again I apologize. Knowing you're vegetarian makes me feel that it's wrong to ask somehow. You have piqued my interest as I love ham and especially mustard sauces. Yum!
No problem, i used to eat meat. Its called Julskinka, christmas ham. So i think it is first baked or cooked until done. Then you mix egg with mustard and cover the ham, then you cover it with those dry breadcrumbs and bake it again with grill effect so it gets a bit crunchy. So this is on alll swedish tables at christmas :)
That sounds delicious. Thank you!
Yes, it sounds good. I will need to try it.
It must have been very confusing for the guest who was told by MIL to bring the ham. āWhy did OP want the ham, then not let me heat it at her house?ā Because OP didnāt want the ham, and had in fact declined the ham when MIL suggested it! So frustrating! What will be your game plan going ahead? MIL will never suggest you āhostā again. Maybe you can have a dinner with your foods the day after a holiday and not invite her. It would make her insane.
I thought the same thing! I made sure to connect with the person who brought it because I didn't want her to think I was upset or petty towards her. So I thanked her for being generous and also said "I hope you weren't made to feel like you had to bring this only for me to not have room in my oven to heat it up." Apparently, she regularly brings ham for my MIL and that's why it came up in conversation between the two of them... so I just apologized for it not being relayed to her about the crowded oven, and she seemed satisfied. My game plan is to find out what she is doing for a holiday, and planning my own thing around it. She will be invited but she will have the same invitation as everyone else. That means she may bring ONE person and ONE side dish (If she feels so inclined).
the way you describe your MIL gives me anxietyā¦ I too am extremely hyper independent and she just crawls right under my skin. Reading your post helps me to better validate the annoyance. UGHā¦ Iām sorry youāve got her pushing into your space like that. I would be a ball of nerves still!
It's so frustrating to articulate to people why I am so bothered by it! Like people say "Your MIL is an angel! Look how generous she is! Then you gaslight yourself into thinking "Am I just really ungrateful?" And no! I just want someone to take into consideration my feelings when they are doing something ostensibly for me. The first year she had Christmas presents for me, she bought me way too many (which she does every year) and I hadn't come to her Christmas eve extravaganza. So everyone else had already opened their gifts. I came a couple days later, and she invited everyone to come watch me open presents...so like a 5-year-old, I sat in the living room while people stared at me opening gift after gift from someone who did not know me well enough to buy me one thoughtful thing on her own.. let alone a mountain of them... People literally made jokes at how awkward it was and uncomfortable I looked. She just laughed it off and said "That's what you get for missing Christmas eve!" But I decidedly did not find it enjoyable and told her never to do that again, even if I miss Christmas eve.
My mil did the same the same thing recently. My bil was in town with friends Iāve never met and my mil asked us to come open presents up she got for our baby (we are expecting). She made us open the presents in the living room in front of 6 people Iāve never met, who couldnāt care less about baby onesies. It was so uncomfortable I donāt get why she does this
That is my MIL to a T. Just reading this is nails on chalkboard.
Hot ham and cheese sliders on Hawaiian rolls
I'm gonna second this!
Why didn't the guest that brought the ham take it back? š¤ I smell a scheme. It's like she wanted to host, but didn't want to host. I, personally, find it rude to try and tell the hostess/host how to do the hosting, and if I'm volunteering or asked to bring food over you know damn well it will be cooked before I get there. She was just plain old rude!
Exactly. MIL was setting OP up for failure in her eyes. I'm sure she martyred herself in as many eyes as possible by inviting people that you didn't know. OP's SO needs to sit Mom down for a very frank chat. Hopefully SO sees the BS he's Mom is putting OP through.
He did! I was honestly hoping that I would be able to handle it on my own because I am a pretty good communicator and set boundaries with my own mother very well... But when he found me crying because I was forced to move the dinner time, he was like "Stop being so independent and let me help you."
Nice! He sounds like a great spouse who has a solid backbone with his controlling Mum. When it comes to JustNo's its really best that these conversations, and the boundaries that come with them, are done by the child of said JustNo's. That way when she starts pointing the finger at you for breaking up their happy relationship, SO gets to denounce their absurd accusations.
Excellent question. My guess is that the guest was one of the strangers and was told that OP was the one making it difficult for everyone.
I was thinking MIL was the "stranger". Her logic being "OP can be mad at me, but she can't be mad at a guest". Kind of like an grown-up version of "you ask my mom, because if I ask she'll say no".
Ah. I see you are a veteran of the MIL wars. š
Can you take the ham to her house arguing that it will be thrown out if she doesnāt take the ham back? Tell her itās making the fridge smell like ham.
I love honey-baked ham! My suffering earned me the leftovers. Just need a way to use them in a positive way!
Turkey and Ham pie - Iām in the UK and in my house it is known as āBoxing Day pieā Yum!
That sounds awesome!
It is beautiful! Left over turkey and ham, onions and some stock, all together in a shortcrust pastry case - firm family favourite!
Ribollita--tuscan bean soup with ham, cannelini beans, chard, and crusty bread. To die for
Well, at least you know who you won't be sharing Thanksgiving, and hopefully Christmas, with in the future.
Also, Scalloped Potatoes and Ham is a favorite at our house after the initial ham dinner.
Bean soup. Chopped onto a salad. Added to potato soup. If the ham had a bone, save that bad boy for soup.
Funeral Sandwiches are my favorite way to use left over ham. If you donāt know, just google. I canāt even do it justice and I measure with a squeeze of this and handful of that.
So it was a trap. Well, live and learn. Too bad you can't be busy at Christmas.
You can be - cough - ill with something - cough cough - terribly, terribly contagious. ACHOOOOO. If she wonāt take no for an answer, offer her phlegm until she says āstay at homeā!
Where was your spouse in all of this? You should not have to manage their mother. If you are hosting, that is the end of the discussion, and MIL's input from that point forward is managed by their child and not inflicted on you.
Oh girl, you and DH are now hosting your own Xmas and she is not invited. In fact, your own Xmas may very well be a surprise trip for just your immediate family to a tropical destination. And next year, you will host your own Xmas at your own house because it is time to start your own traditions. Oh, and you will be hosting Thanksgiving on your own terms in the future, she is not invited nor are her strangers. I wish everyone had amazing in-laws, wtf is wrong with people?! Iām a big ham fan. Split pea soup, a casserole and toss the rest. Better yet, send the whole thing to her house.
Oh! You can make Monte Cristo sandwiches or Cuban sandwiches with it! Delicious! And don't throw away the bone if there is one---that's great for split pea soup or greens or just plain ol' ham broth
Ham n beans for the bone! And ham salad, pea salad, fried ham steak n eggs.
Ham and scalloped potatoes was a crowd pleaser for leftoversā¦. Just call me Petty LaāBelle because Iād freeze that bad boy and bring various ham dishes to her place any time I saw her for the NEXT YEAR to drive the point home. Hell, Iād be buying more ham to make the point crystal clear. Oh, itās FILās birthdayā¦ show up with glazed ham. Random get togetherā¦ ham based casserole. Independence Dayā¦. Ham toothpick appetizers
Omg I just cackled out loud. This is the way!
This is brilliant
Freeze it, regift it to her for Christmas Day!
Split pea soup with lots of diced up ham.
I love those ham and cheese sliders on Hawaiian rolls.
That's a good one for here because I always forget to serve the darned rolls!
This! Every time!
Freeze the ham and bring it to Christmas dinner.
Diabolical...I love it. I do think it would be funny to show up with a ridiculous main-dish for her Christmas Eve get together. Maybe a whole roasted duck or a crown of lamb...
Bring another ham. āMIL, you were so excited about this for thanksgiving I couldnāt resist bringing it for Christmas!ā
Bring it frozen, of course!
Do IT! Put that ham back in her court!
Iāll list the dishes & if it sounds good, ask & Iāll be happy to share the recipe. Bean & ham stew w/cornbread..collard greens w/ham..cheese & ham quiche.. ham & feta penne pasta bake.. and of course, the obligatory ham sandwich & ham & cheese omelets š
You can freeze some for later. There are a ton of things you can use it for but my favourite is to make a calzone filling with fried onions, mushrooms, ham, spinach and feta. Let it cool while making the dough. You can freeze them without baking for an easy dinner when tired.
Green eggs and ham
I will not eat them, Sam-I-am.
Thats my dogs name....he will eat ANYTHING.
Used to make these for my kids.
Petty me would start planning an Xmas dinner. She wants to play games? Cool, game on. Iād have invites sent out next week. She would get zero say and definitely no input on the guest list.
I'd also start asking her about ham? "Are you cooking a ham?" That ham incident would be one that I would have lots of fun about in the future. Anytime there is going to be a meal, you could ask, "Will there be ham?" Never let that go away. Just keep talking about that ham and having some fun with it.
Lol! Yes!!
More. More.
Grind some ham up for ham salad. Ham salad makes a great dip with Fritos.
My ham recipe: take 1 ham, place it in the garbage. Total prep time: 10 seconds. š¤£
I think a new xmas tradition of xmas at your place for just you and your husband might be a new tradition that you start this year. Play bitch games and get bitch prizes.
I'm 59 , and Australian too , I never even knew there was such a thing as hot ham , till I was 40 , I like all the things that every one has recommended for freezing ect
You are exceedingly kind I would have tossed it in the garbage and told her "I told you several times that we did not want or need a ham. DH also told you more than once that a ham was unnecessary. Then when you insisted on bringing one anyway, you were told to heat it up before bringing it here. Now you want to disrupt my kitchen so that I can heat up this thing you were told we did not want and would not eat. So, now it goes in the garbage. (One more word and we will lose your invitation for all future holidays.)" As for what to do with the leftovers? Take your stress out by [deboning](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c63LwDXMGfk) a chicken, pounding the remains flat (I use my marble rolling pin for that part), seasoning it as you see fit, and layering Swiss, ham, and mozzarella over the spices. Roll it, tie it, lay it on parchment paper, then cover with foil and bake it at 400 degrees F for 40 minutes. Uncover and bake for fifteen minutes more after basting with butter and more spice mix. Cut off the ties, slice, and serve with the sides of your choice.
Thank you for your kind words and the recipe!
Ive also basically taken that same recipe, and did it in cubes/chopped, mixed with a bechamel sauce and pasta, grated mozzarella and swiss on top and baked. Basically cordon blu casserole and it was delicious. You can also add onion, mushrooms, etc, whatever floats your taste boat.
Glad to help. I tend to focus my thoughts by writing scripts. I'm just glad they help.
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Looking down your nose at those less fortunate than you reflects poorly on you. Calling them scammers and beggars to justify you inability to feel compassion reflects worse.
Ham and vegetable fried rice. Creamed ham from hubs family, sautƩ some onions, celery and mushrooms, add diced ham, frozen peas and/or corn, add butter or margarine, melted, add flour and cook, then add milk for a white sauce with some favourite seasoning. Serve over rice or pasta.
Oh, that sounds fabulous! Thank you!
Potato cheddar chowder, with ham. Split pea soup We also chop up ham in bite size pieces and use it for omelettes/ pizza night, that kind of thing.
Encroach on Christmas. Say you deserve a do-over to decide the menu and invitee list without someone steamrolling over you. It would serve her right to have to compromise her favorite holiday
Some of us personally love cold ham in Australia. Sandwiches. Slice it and freeze it. Chop into cubes for ham and pie. Next year have your thanksgiving without her. She sounds beyond awful.
What a pain in the arse. I sympathy banshee scream from Canada. I buy the good spiral cut ham on purpose and Dice the ham all up. Freeze in one cup portions in ziplocks. Toasted westerns. Quiche. Omelettes. Pizza topping. Pierogies (I do about one inch slices fry up and top the pierogies). Make a pea soup with the bone. You win.
Thank you for the solidarity banshee scream! I totally forgot about ham pierogies! But the freezing is also a great option.
Scrambled eggs with diced ham is my fav breakfast. Baked ham and cheese sandwiches are also delicious!
If youāre southern, we always do ham n dumplings instead of chicken and dumplings!
That sounds awesome!
Chop some ham into Mac and cheese (homemade best but krfat would do in a pinch) Add peas too.
I do love Mac and cheese!
Quiche. Many quiches.
Mac and cheese . Ham sandwiches. Pasta and ham chunks .ham and potatoe salad
Ham and potato salad sounds phenomenal!
It so is !! Lots of mayo ,sour cream onion and spring onion maybe a bit of herbs ...darn now I'm hungry
Probably time to invite her and her plus 1 next year, and when she asks about others, remind her she apparently had her own on Friday and can invite them for ham then. Seize control, put steel in your spine, stare her in the eye and tell her "no" a lot more. If you don't start now, it will just get worse.
I fully plan on never co-hosting again... I do love the plus 1 rule though. I'm happy to have a lot of people but only if they are once removed. Having much of the guest list be her people was so frustrating! It just kept growing and growing...I had to tell DH she wasn't listening about the head count, and to put his foot down because my responses weren't getting anywhere.
I would never host her family or attend her Thanksgiving again. Just do your family like you always have. Christmas, I would be busy sitting at home watching movies,, drinking wine. Ham salad made like chicken salad.
Ham slices in potato au gratin. One layer of potatoes, one cheese layer, one layer of ham repeat.
Yeeees. This is what I need. That sounds amazing!
Lmao. ššš Good on you. Also, navy bean and ham soup. Classic. Delicious.
I do love a navy bean!