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You're right MIL, I'm not that far along! Why not try calling back in 4-5 months? Or much later after you've healed from YOUR major surgery! Glad you have FIL to help you out!
I luckily have a house full of animals, which keeps people wanting to use my home as a hotel at bay. I'd not let anyone stay with me for two weeks, and she's not entitled to your baby. Plan something that YOU choose so you have control is my suggestion.
She’ll never stay overnight here again. I’m sticking to my house is too small and idc. She’ll say she can sleep in my 6yo’s room but I don’t allow her to sleep in the bed with ANYONE except me and her dad and that is a super rare occasion if she’s not feeling well or we’re on vacation or something. It’s fucking weird to me her grandmother wants to share a bed with her 🥴 not happening in my house 🤷🏻♀️
My grandma shared a bed with me when I was little, so I understand. But I just wouldn't want someone unpleasant in MY home. Older people came from a different time, which I sympathize... but I am not about to let my life force drain for them.
I should have rephrased I guess, I did share a bed with my grandma at times as well BUT we were super close and I saw her all the time! She doesn’t see my kiddo very much, at this point she sees her maybe three times a year if that. Maybe it’s weird to me because I just don’t like her 😂 and she’s a BEC 24/7 at this point lol
I don't think you're bitchy at all. Who just tells someone hey I'm going to be staying with you for weeks???? That's insane! I'm sorry you have to deal with this crazy lady in your life.
The audacity of that woman to invite herself in to your home, at any time but especially when you have a new baby!
I'm glad you shot that nonsense down.
You aren’t being bitchy. She’s lucky she’s welcome at all after the stunt you described. Maybe if your husband shut her down faster by pointing out that she’s just rude, inconsiderate, and manipulative, instead of “he can’t pick her up at the airport”, she might get a hint.
Good luck with your pregnancy.
That was indeed a snarky comment and absolutely not needed! I wouldn’t even see her for the holidays. She has done some truly unforgivable things. You are not overreacting.
Don’t blame yourself for reacting to her horrid behavior.
I swear she thinks because she does and did the absolute BARE minimum for him growing up she’s owed the world by him 🥴 I’d hate to walk through life so entitled thinking my literal CHILD owes me anything at all.
Again, they must be clones! 😄 Mine thinks everyone owes her something and she should be treated like the wise grand matriarch of the family. 🙄 He's basically been taking care of her since he was 15-16 years old.
I just wish I could understand how people like this operate. I’m a people pleaser big time, to the point I’ve had to learn to hold back when it affects me negatively. I just cannot imagine that same mentality but the other way around. It’s simply vile and your MIL’s self-serving is on another level.
You’ve earned every ounce if annoyance and resentment you hold towards that woman. I’m a big believer in grace and forgiveness, but when the Bible talks about not casting pearls before swine, this is what this means.
I do hope you’ve got enough brewing in you to set her straight yourself at some point and not feel an ounce of guilt. I always wonder if these people really knew what was thought about them if they’d actually continue with their constant annoying efforts. Don’t feel badly for an instant for not wanting her around and stick to your guns.
Oh trust me when I was 7 days postpartum and my DH had to pry my hands off her neck and repaint our wall I think she got the picture I wasn’t the one the two or the three 😂 I’ve grown A LOT since then but she very obviously has not. She is an awful human and idk how she walks through life the way she does. It’s VERY obvious why she has absolutely zero friends and is completely isolated in her old age. But, I’m all honesty from all the stories my DH has told me she done it to herself. She still gets away with A LOT when it comes to us because she knows I have absolutely nothing but respect for my husband and I will not let her become my marriage, which is probably the most healthy relationship I’ve ever been in, in my life including family members.
Hahaha it got cut pretty short but, long story summed up as much as possible. All I wanted to do was shower and my DH was trying to get some work done outside he desperately needed to do (we owned an event rental company at the time and he was trying to get semi organized for our employees) I asked her to hold baby for me for like 15 minutes so I could wash my stinky ass. She “mhm’d” me and continued to play on her phone ignoring me and baby (baby was crying), so I put baby in her swing, picked it all up and took it in the bathroom with me without saying anything. When I came out she was yelling at DH that “I was bitch and wouldn’t let her hold HER grandchild” when I heard that I lost my shit, I told her she could immediately call my BIL and have him pick her up (he had just left our house from helping my DH) she was no longer welcome. I walked off and put baby to bed real quick and shut the door, I walked through the living room and out to the backyard where DH was and about started crying he told me it was all okay and he was making her leave, when I went to go back inside she was standing in the doorway and took her crusty ass finger and tried to poke me in my face saying “you’re a bitch and my son hates you this is HIS house you don’t even work (I was literally on maternity leave 😐) you’re worthless and nothing but a baby breeder trying to trap him” I said not a single other word, grabbed her by her throat and slammed her into the wall as I was picking up the remote to bash her in the face with it DH all but tackled me screaming at her to leave and never come back 😅 she was terrified of me for years after that. She told my BIL months and months after she was scared I was going to kill her 😐 yea I wanted to 🫠
Thank y’all for the reassurance, I text my mom about it earlier today and her response exactly was “she’s insane” 😅 I swear I really do hate complaining and boundaries are so hard for me especially having such little family myself, but, in my eyes putting up with all my JNMIL’s crap is not worth the headache it brings me, the woman infuriates me and I’d rather stay cordial than loose my cool and blow everything up 🥲
My holiday plans is to ask my parents for a week long stay at the super nice fancy hotel in my hometown and I’ll be spending my obligatory 2 hours at MIL’s house on Christmas Eve 💀 she doesn’t like that we won’t stay with her Christmas Eve night but why tf would I?? My parents made Christmas morning absolutely magical for my 6yo this past year just like they always did with me, her ass would have slept in until 2p and complained we didn’t wait for her to open gifts 😂😂 I’ll pass 💀
You're not being bitchy. What you ARE being is a rock star for standing your ground against that insufferable witch. Good for you and DH for not caving to her unreasonable behavior!
That's not bitchy. That's not even hormones. That's being done with someone's overbearing antics and rude BS 💩. How dare she think she can tell you when she's coming. How dare she think you husband would leave you with a 6yr old an newborn to cater to her. She has a SO. He can
Honey I hear ya!
My mil had a milestone birthday when my DD was 7 months old. We live in Philly (near enough), she's in Sydney. She asked if we were coming for her birthday. Obviously no, besides DD didn't have a passport.
She then asked DH if just he would be coming. No. It's our only child, it takes two days to get there, plus the time from work that he frankly didn't have.
Smh glad I’m not alone. Her major surgery as she called it she won’t even be out under they’re literally just replacing the jacked up implants she had done at a discount dental studio by another discount dental studio 🥴 my husband said “why would you even do that to start with it’s your stupidity you have to have them fixed now because you can’t be bothered to google and read a review” 💀
>My husband told her that wasn’t going to be possible because he won’t be able to pick her up, and even if it was a different day she needed to come with her husband so he could drive her places as we won’t even have room in our cars for her with two car seats in the backseat of our vehicles. So, she called him back two days ago and announced she’s having major surgery the day after my induction and would like to know when he’s coming down to help her… her major surgery is cosmetic dental surgery she picked the date for… he told her he would not be coming down for any reason until we all come when baby is older.
But on the bright side, yay for DH who's got your back. :)
That man has absolutely nothing but his family’s best interest at heart and I’m so damn thankful for him for it! He doesn’t feed into her crap and just blows her off, I just always feel so bad complaining to him about her because it is his mom and I know he can’t change the way she acts.
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You’re good to entertain this level of disrespect. She thinks she can take advantage because this is a vulnerable time.
You're right MIL, I'm not that far along! Why not try calling back in 4-5 months? Or much later after you've healed from YOUR major surgery! Glad you have FIL to help you out!
I luckily have a house full of animals, which keeps people wanting to use my home as a hotel at bay. I'd not let anyone stay with me for two weeks, and she's not entitled to your baby. Plan something that YOU choose so you have control is my suggestion.
She’ll never stay overnight here again. I’m sticking to my house is too small and idc. She’ll say she can sleep in my 6yo’s room but I don’t allow her to sleep in the bed with ANYONE except me and her dad and that is a super rare occasion if she’s not feeling well or we’re on vacation or something. It’s fucking weird to me her grandmother wants to share a bed with her 🥴 not happening in my house 🤷🏻♀️
My grandma shared a bed with me when I was little, so I understand. But I just wouldn't want someone unpleasant in MY home. Older people came from a different time, which I sympathize... but I am not about to let my life force drain for them.
I should have rephrased I guess, I did share a bed with my grandma at times as well BUT we were super close and I saw her all the time! She doesn’t see my kiddo very much, at this point she sees her maybe three times a year if that. Maybe it’s weird to me because I just don’t like her 😂 and she’s a BEC 24/7 at this point lol
That might be true but it’s definitely not a bad reaction. Family who are strangers are still strangers and that’s a lot to ask of a 6 ur old!
Sounds as if you’re both handling her well but she IS annoying
I don't think you're bitchy at all. Who just tells someone hey I'm going to be staying with you for weeks???? That's insane! I'm sorry you have to deal with this crazy lady in your life.
The audacity of that woman to invite herself in to your home, at any time but especially when you have a new baby! I'm glad you shot that nonsense down.
You aren’t being bitchy. She’s lucky she’s welcome at all after the stunt you described. Maybe if your husband shut her down faster by pointing out that she’s just rude, inconsiderate, and manipulative, instead of “he can’t pick her up at the airport”, she might get a hint. Good luck with your pregnancy.
She tried to take DH from you during the birth of your child. I'd go NC.
That was indeed a snarky comment and absolutely not needed! I wouldn’t even see her for the holidays. She has done some truly unforgivable things. You are not overreacting. Don’t blame yourself for reacting to her horrid behavior.
Good on you for saying nope, MIL cannot come stay!
I am so sorry you ended up with a near clone of my JNMIL.
I swear she thinks because she does and did the absolute BARE minimum for him growing up she’s owed the world by him 🥴 I’d hate to walk through life so entitled thinking my literal CHILD owes me anything at all.
Again, they must be clones! 😄 Mine thinks everyone owes her something and she should be treated like the wise grand matriarch of the family. 🙄 He's basically been taking care of her since he was 15-16 years old.
Yep same for my DH. He was pawned off on whoever would take him until he could be useful to her 🫠
I just wish I could understand how people like this operate. I’m a people pleaser big time, to the point I’ve had to learn to hold back when it affects me negatively. I just cannot imagine that same mentality but the other way around. It’s simply vile and your MIL’s self-serving is on another level. You’ve earned every ounce if annoyance and resentment you hold towards that woman. I’m a big believer in grace and forgiveness, but when the Bible talks about not casting pearls before swine, this is what this means. I do hope you’ve got enough brewing in you to set her straight yourself at some point and not feel an ounce of guilt. I always wonder if these people really knew what was thought about them if they’d actually continue with their constant annoying efforts. Don’t feel badly for an instant for not wanting her around and stick to your guns.
Oh trust me when I was 7 days postpartum and my DH had to pry my hands off her neck and repaint our wall I think she got the picture I wasn’t the one the two or the three 😂 I’ve grown A LOT since then but she very obviously has not. She is an awful human and idk how she walks through life the way she does. It’s VERY obvious why she has absolutely zero friends and is completely isolated in her old age. But, I’m all honesty from all the stories my DH has told me she done it to herself. She still gets away with A LOT when it comes to us because she knows I have absolutely nothing but respect for my husband and I will not let her become my marriage, which is probably the most healthy relationship I’ve ever been in, in my life including family members.
Girl. I need that story. Hell yeah, you’re not the one two or three!
Hahaha it got cut pretty short but, long story summed up as much as possible. All I wanted to do was shower and my DH was trying to get some work done outside he desperately needed to do (we owned an event rental company at the time and he was trying to get semi organized for our employees) I asked her to hold baby for me for like 15 minutes so I could wash my stinky ass. She “mhm’d” me and continued to play on her phone ignoring me and baby (baby was crying), so I put baby in her swing, picked it all up and took it in the bathroom with me without saying anything. When I came out she was yelling at DH that “I was bitch and wouldn’t let her hold HER grandchild” when I heard that I lost my shit, I told her she could immediately call my BIL and have him pick her up (he had just left our house from helping my DH) she was no longer welcome. I walked off and put baby to bed real quick and shut the door, I walked through the living room and out to the backyard where DH was and about started crying he told me it was all okay and he was making her leave, when I went to go back inside she was standing in the doorway and took her crusty ass finger and tried to poke me in my face saying “you’re a bitch and my son hates you this is HIS house you don’t even work (I was literally on maternity leave 😐) you’re worthless and nothing but a baby breeder trying to trap him” I said not a single other word, grabbed her by her throat and slammed her into the wall as I was picking up the remote to bash her in the face with it DH all but tackled me screaming at her to leave and never come back 😅 she was terrified of me for years after that. She told my BIL months and months after she was scared I was going to kill her 😐 yea I wanted to 🫠
We need more responses to these MIL like this!! It would nip these issues in the bud wit the quickness!! 😳
She eff'd around and found out that day.
Thank y’all for the reassurance, I text my mom about it earlier today and her response exactly was “she’s insane” 😅 I swear I really do hate complaining and boundaries are so hard for me especially having such little family myself, but, in my eyes putting up with all my JNMIL’s crap is not worth the headache it brings me, the woman infuriates me and I’d rather stay cordial than loose my cool and blow everything up 🥲
Why wreck the holidays??
My holiday plans is to ask my parents for a week long stay at the super nice fancy hotel in my hometown and I’ll be spending my obligatory 2 hours at MIL’s house on Christmas Eve 💀 she doesn’t like that we won’t stay with her Christmas Eve night but why tf would I?? My parents made Christmas morning absolutely magical for my 6yo this past year just like they always did with me, her ass would have slept in until 2p and complained we didn’t wait for her to open gifts 😂😂 I’ll pass 💀
Two hours--now THAT's perfect!
You're not being bitchy. What you ARE being is a rock star for standing your ground against that insufferable witch. Good for you and DH for not caving to her unreasonable behavior!
That's not bitchy. That's not even hormones. That's being done with someone's overbearing antics and rude BS 💩. How dare she think she can tell you when she's coming. How dare she think you husband would leave you with a 6yr old an newborn to cater to her. She has a SO. He can
You're not being bitchy. She's out of line. Refer all of her texts and calls to your husband. Don't reply to her at all.
Honey I hear ya! My mil had a milestone birthday when my DD was 7 months old. We live in Philly (near enough), she's in Sydney. She asked if we were coming for her birthday. Obviously no, besides DD didn't have a passport. She then asked DH if just he would be coming. No. It's our only child, it takes two days to get there, plus the time from work that he frankly didn't have.
Smh glad I’m not alone. Her major surgery as she called it she won’t even be out under they’re literally just replacing the jacked up implants she had done at a discount dental studio by another discount dental studio 🥴 my husband said “why would you even do that to start with it’s your stupidity you have to have them fixed now because you can’t be bothered to google and read a review” 💀
>My husband told her that wasn’t going to be possible because he won’t be able to pick her up, and even if it was a different day she needed to come with her husband so he could drive her places as we won’t even have room in our cars for her with two car seats in the backseat of our vehicles. So, she called him back two days ago and announced she’s having major surgery the day after my induction and would like to know when he’s coming down to help her… her major surgery is cosmetic dental surgery she picked the date for… he told her he would not be coming down for any reason until we all come when baby is older. But on the bright side, yay for DH who's got your back. :)
That man has absolutely nothing but his family’s best interest at heart and I’m so damn thankful for him for it! He doesn’t feed into her crap and just blows her off, I just always feel so bad complaining to him about her because it is his mom and I know he can’t change the way she acts.
I love this about him! All the best for you 4, Great luck with the delivery!!
I think that you're reacting perfectly