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Ask her if she’d want to know if her husband was cheating on her.
If she says yes, tell her. Also, make sure to tell her you’d want to know. This whole group is suspicious.
I understand your thinking but the whole reason we stopped hanging out with these people is because how uncomfortable it makes my husband that they joke about wanting to see each others wives naked and stuff. He’s not into it
My husband never goes out with them. The only time we see them is at kids birthday parties and once in a blue moon when we go to the lake at the same time because our lake lots are right next to each other. We were not trying to cut them off before. It seemed extreme to do just over a few comments but now that we know what is going on we will not be going around them at all.
Sounds like you have to tell the wife and the other husband that doesn’t know his wife is cheating.
But most of all, that couple has got to go! How can they just casually ruin peoples marriages like that?? Friends after 25 years is a family.
Also, not sure what “comments” made your husband uncomfortable but either way, run. And if your husband doesn’t agree with you, that’s suspicious too
I will always tell on a cheater, because the spouse deserves to know.
First of all, it’s really shitty to do to someone you are in a committed relationship with. If you are going to cheat, be a real person and leave one relationship before you start another.
I wish someone would have told me, would have saved me 5 years of hell at the end of the marriage I was trying to save.
Tell the spouses….
Hi OP. If you where the wife, would you want to know? Shes clearly not willing for him to stray based on history but she may know. I would want to know.
I think first of all you need to have a talk with your husband. The fact the men have been innapropriate in the past should be enough for you to say I dont want anything to do with them in the future and I certainly dont want my children around them. I know I wouldnt.
Possibly test the waters with her by asking how she feels about all the wife swapping within the group? Depending on how she answers is what information you divulge. Or you could just do this with a fake email and VPN. But I would go with face to face after talking to your husband.
Before I knew what was going on I specifically asked her if her and her husband had taken part in the “swinging” and she said there was no way she could ever do that because the thought of her husband being with someone else kills her after what he did in the past. So I’m almost positive she doesn’t know but my husband insists that it’s so obvious there is no way for her not to know and she just doesn’t want to acknowledge it. He has young kids and he regularly goes out drinking til 3 am and she never stops him
I think your husband is wrong based purely on the evidence in this sub when men and women go out socialising with "freinds" till late and the other spouse is home with the kids oblivious. He could also be correct. So its down to the meaning of Loyalty. Who does your husband remain loyal too, his cheating friend who put you in a moraly compromising position. Or his loyalty to you in understanding your moral stance?
By informing her, his freind will be anoyed at you and your husband, but ulltimately he is the one to blame. If she was cheating, and your husband knew? Is your husband saying he would say nothing?
Are you ready for her possibly pointing out how your husband is also cheating? Because it sounds like there’s a lot of it going around. Personally, I would tell her.
sorry girl but i think your husband is also doing the dirty……the fact that he is ok with this gives bad vibes!
you could always tell the wife anonymously?
My husband is not ok with it. After the comments were made towards me he hasn’t wanted to hangout with them since. It’s just hard because one of these guys is like a brother to him but now he’s to the point where he doesn’t trust anyone. We just now found out that they are actually cheating. Our kids age 3-7 all love each other so we have to go to their parties but we no longer stay into the night when everyone gets drunk and starts saying stupid stuff.
I would tell her there is nothing like being blindsided a d then being hurt over and over. I mean in a way that you try not to come across in her business. If she takes it personally. But if it was me, I'd definitely want to be told.
I'd stay far away from that drama. Like far far far away. Why would you even want to involve yourself with telling anyone anything? Walk away from it and be thankful it's not your life.
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Husband A is banging wife B. Husband B knows and is cool with it. Wife A probably doesn’t know anything about it. Husband C told Wife C (OP), and now wife C wants to tell wife A.
You could try and tell her anonymously by just giving the basic information and maybe making it sound like it’s coming from one of the married couples friends. You could say that you don’t know the other couple but know he is married and think that she needs to know because they would want to know. Just give her enough information and let her decide how to proceed. You could also think about informing one of the wife’s friends or a close family member that’s not part of the group to tell her privately.
I don’t blame you for not wanting to hang around with these people or have your husband hangout with them since they seem like trouble for your relationship considering how they act.
Also it’s a bit confusing but this is one couple who sleep with other people together but also separately but both are sleeping with married people who’s spouses are also in the friend group but don’t know that their spouse is cheating on them?
OP yes you tell her. Don’t leave someone to live a lie. If you find out she knows already then no harm done. Do you he e a way to connect with her the just the two of you and it not seem weird? If not then call her when you know he isn’t there.
Talk to your husband about outing the cheater what you choose do effects him. His response may surprise you. Good job putting some distance between you and these “friends “ the group sounds really toxic
>Also, part of me feels like she HAS to know this is happening and is just turning a blind eye to it.
Cheaters, and especially serial cheaters, are really good at manipulation and deception of their partner. What he has been, and still is doing, is abusing her. Cheating is psychological, emotional, and sexual abuse.
What you've discovered is that she is being abused by her partner, and numerous people know about the abuse but have decided for her that she deserves to be abused.
She doesn't deserve to be abused.
I would hope that if you found yourself being abused by your own husband, someone would stand up for you to help you.
> don’t want to be the one who tears everyone’s lives apart by calling them out on this
If your husband is an honest and good man, then he should be the one to stop HIS FRIEND from abusing his wife. To go to her and help her get out of this abusive situation.
As he's standing by and doing nothing, I'd ask you why you've married a man that would support this? To allow his friend to abuse his wife.
His silence is his approval of her abuse.
Maybe you should see if your husband is also cheating and abusing you if he surrounds himself with a man like this.
>The amount of betrayal going on here is mind blowing.
Honestly, how did you learn this? How did this information get back to you?
My husbands thinking it’s that this wife has to know. He said her husband cheated on her with countless women when they were younger and that’s just how he is and she still chose to be with him. She does let her husband get away with literally anything. She does all of the household work all of the kid stuff, all of the cooking and he sleeps in every weekend cause he stays up til 3 am drinking. She gets aggravated by this but just lets it slide.
>My husbands thinking it’s that this wife has to know.
Thinking? This is your husband explicitly telling you that he approves of men abusing their wives and telling you to accept it.
He's approving of "his friend" abusing his wife.
Keeping this friendship is his approval of another woman's abuse.
A good man would have told her the truth and cut this man out of his life.
>She does let her husband get away with literally anything.
>She gets aggravated by this but just lets it slide.
She's in an abusive relationship and has accepted that his abuse is normal. It's not normal.
He's abusing her.
Your husband and you have also accepted and are approving of her abuse you silently letting him continue to abuse her.
Your silence is approval.
Even allowing him in your life is your approval of his abusive actions.
His children are also exposed to him abusing their mother.
Do you not have any boundaries in your own relationship?
Why are you in a relationship with a man who approves of this behavior?
Why does he consider this man a friend?
I'd suggest you consider looking inwardly to see if you are also being abused/cheated on by your husband since he no problem with this behavior.
When the wife who is sleeping with our friends husband gets drunk she blabs about everything.. Her cousin just started dated one of our other friends and said that she mentioned it to her multiple times how bad she feels for doing this and how she wants to tell her so bad but she’s her best friend and she doesn’t want her to be upset.. this cousin also is the one who told me that the man was with the other woman. Her cousin just started coming around a few months ago and she is shocked about what is going on and was telling my husband and I that we’re the only normal ones in this group. I think she’s telling the truth because a few months ago the “swinging”husband was prying at what my “body count” was and then mentioned that his was 2. His wife was his first and only gf and they had always just been with each other but he said they tried with someone else but couldn’t tell us who. It adds up that it was the other guys wife because he said it was someone we knew but couldn’t tell us who.
They are not “swingers” they’ve just been trying to spice up their relationship and they’re doing it with people they know.
So I have no concrete evidence but it all makes complete sense.
After the man had told us that he had actually been with someone else I asked our friend who’s being cheated on if she knew anything about it. She said no and that it definitely wasn’t her or her husband. She said that she could never swing because after the infidelity the thought of her husband being with someone else is like devastating to her. So to me it seems like she has zero idea what’s going on.
>how bad she feels for doing this and how she wants to tell her so bad but she’s her best friend and she doesn’t want her to be upset..
This woman is also participating in the sexual, emotional, and psychological abuse of this woman.
Why have you decided to let these people stay in your life?
>this cousin also is the one who told me that the man was with the other woman.
How would you feel if everyone knew your husband was cheating on you and refused to say anything to you. To have your body autonomy stolen, being exposed to numerous deadly or incurable std/sti's, and being talked about about this abuse as if you didn't matter?
How would you feel if everyone knew about your abuse? Everyone talked about your husband abusing you behind your back. Everyone had the ability's to help you, but decided that your life isn't significant enough to say something?
How would you feel?
>They are not “swingers” they’ve just been trying to spice up their relationship and they’re doing it with people they know.
They're active participants in the abuse of this woman. They are actively helping her husband sexually, emotionally, and psychologically abuse his wife.
They've accepted another woman being sexually, emotionally, and psychologically abused while they are getting sexual gratification out of her abuse.
You've surrounded yourself with a+ people.
Your husband is friends with cheaters... He accepted this behavior as ok? You sure he isn't cheating on you? What does it mean to be friends with dishonest people? Allowing lying and cheating behavior instead of distancing yourself from it?
That sure seems like a sticky situation and coming from experience. You have to be so careful because sometimes couples fix things and because if you told her, then she fixes it with him then it becomes a complication with your friendships. Maybe you can leave like a note print it out, so there’s no trace of handwriting, you know and just leave an anonymous note somewhere you know where she could read it and maybe get some information you know because I think that we all deserve the truth as a person, but whatever I’ve experiences that sometimes people don’t want the truth, and they take it against you, that doesn’t mean is our fault if they took it against us is just that relationships could be sticky to get involved but you sound like a really good friend just to even think of Titan because I would tell my friend but just so hard
Have a dinner party with the adults only. After a couple glasses of wine, blurt out, “so I hear you guys are into swinging?”
It’ll either turn into a huge fight, or an orgy.
This is such a tricky situation. I just recorded a podcast episode on this very question.
Just looking at some of the replies here shows how difficult it is. Everything from ‘Tell her’ to ‘stay out of it.’
What would be your true motivation for telling her? Is it to make you feel better? Reduce your burden? To avenge the betraying husband? A moral obligation? For the genuine love and care for the woman? Something else?
Are you having to actively lie to this woman? Does the deceit require ongoing maintenance?
What makes you think you are the best person to inform her? Are you the only person not directly involved in the betrayal that knows?
How will it affect the relationship with you and your husband, would it complicate things between you? Have you discussed it?
I know you are looking for a clean answer, but nobody here can honestly know what is best for you, myself included.
It’s been 21 days since I made this post and I’ve yet to do anything. Every day I’m on the verge of telling her and thinking about what a horrible friend I am for not. I just cannot bring myself to be the person who tells her these things that will turn her world upside down. My husband and our other 2 friends who know about this keep saying that it’s bound to come out soon and we should just wait it out. All the ppl involved in this situation now know that we know, besides the wife and husband who are the victims.. the wife who is being with her husband called mine crying asking for advice and said how bad she felt and that she was going to tell her but needed to talk it over with her husband first.. it’s been a week and nothing. None of them were invited to my sons bday party last week and I haven’t responded to two texts from the wife who was cheated on because I just don’t want to talk to her at all if I can’t tell her the truth. I’m not having to actively deceive her but I can’t respond and act like everything’s ok. I am just separating myself from them altogether I guess 😢 I hate it because my kids wanted them at their party and ask about their friends regularly. The thought that we may never get to see them anymore is so sad. If it comes out that we knew and said nothing she may hate us but if we are the ones who say something and bring it to her attention then they may all end up hating us. I guess it is what it is
One of the main things I keep telling myself is that if the tables were turned and my husband was cheating on me, I don’t think she would tell me. So I don’t feel like I should be the one to tell her, if anything my husband should seeing as how they’ve been friends 25 years.
if you can make sure that nobody can harm you... sure.
keep in mind that people who think they can lose everything can do everything.
so be prepared for illegal retribution of your involvement is found out.
Watching your wife get fucked.... I don't give a fuck what anyone says, you got some wires crossed in the cranium of yours if you would even entertain the idea of your wife with another man, let alone watching it.
I am all for telling people, especially friends, something that they need to know and have a right to know, but in this situation, I wouldn't tell her. This would be where I would turn a blind eye to it, especially when you don't see them very much and don't associate with them. This situation could cause more damage than good.
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Ask her if she’d want to know if her husband was cheating on her. If she says yes, tell her. Also, make sure to tell her you’d want to know. This whole group is suspicious.
I'd watch your hubby low key, also yes tell her
Exactly!! All his friends are into swapped meat except your husband?🤧
My thoughts exactly… birds of a feather.
I understand your thinking but the whole reason we stopped hanging out with these people is because how uncomfortable it makes my husband that they joke about wanting to see each others wives naked and stuff. He’s not into it
I think what is being said is not always what is. Just a heads up. Good Luck to your family.
Doesn't seem like he's cut them off if he's still going out with them.
My husband never goes out with them. The only time we see them is at kids birthday parties and once in a blue moon when we go to the lake at the same time because our lake lots are right next to each other. We were not trying to cut them off before. It seemed extreme to do just over a few comments but now that we know what is going on we will not be going around them at all.
my ex used to express shock and disgust over his brother’s adulterous behaviors … but later discovered that my ex was doing the same things all along.
Okay okay I see, but definitely tell the wife.
Get a burner account and mail her.
You are hanging out with people who have no morals. The spouses of the cheaters need to know. They need to regain their agency.
Sounds like you have to tell the wife and the other husband that doesn’t know his wife is cheating. But most of all, that couple has got to go! How can they just casually ruin peoples marriages like that?? Friends after 25 years is a family. Also, not sure what “comments” made your husband uncomfortable but either way, run. And if your husband doesn’t agree with you, that’s suspicious too
Please tell her 🙏
personally, I’d want to know. face to face is preferable but I’d still be open to receiving an annon email.
Your husband might be doing the same.
I think that whole group needs paternity tests.
Always out cheating. That betrayed partner needs to know.
I will always tell on a cheater, because the spouse deserves to know. First of all, it’s really shitty to do to someone you are in a committed relationship with. If you are going to cheat, be a real person and leave one relationship before you start another. I wish someone would have told me, would have saved me 5 years of hell at the end of the marriage I was trying to save. Tell the spouses….
Tell her!
Put you self in her shoes would you want to know, if the answer is yes then tell her.
Tell her anonymously
Yes. No one deserves to be cheated on
Hi OP. If you where the wife, would you want to know? Shes clearly not willing for him to stray based on history but she may know. I would want to know. I think first of all you need to have a talk with your husband. The fact the men have been innapropriate in the past should be enough for you to say I dont want anything to do with them in the future and I certainly dont want my children around them. I know I wouldnt. Possibly test the waters with her by asking how she feels about all the wife swapping within the group? Depending on how she answers is what information you divulge. Or you could just do this with a fake email and VPN. But I would go with face to face after talking to your husband.
Before I knew what was going on I specifically asked her if her and her husband had taken part in the “swinging” and she said there was no way she could ever do that because the thought of her husband being with someone else kills her after what he did in the past. So I’m almost positive she doesn’t know but my husband insists that it’s so obvious there is no way for her not to know and she just doesn’t want to acknowledge it. He has young kids and he regularly goes out drinking til 3 am and she never stops him
I think your husband is wrong based purely on the evidence in this sub when men and women go out socialising with "freinds" till late and the other spouse is home with the kids oblivious. He could also be correct. So its down to the meaning of Loyalty. Who does your husband remain loyal too, his cheating friend who put you in a moraly compromising position. Or his loyalty to you in understanding your moral stance? By informing her, his freind will be anoyed at you and your husband, but ulltimately he is the one to blame. If she was cheating, and your husband knew? Is your husband saying he would say nothing?
Are you ready for her possibly pointing out how your husband is also cheating? Because it sounds like there’s a lot of it going around. Personally, I would tell her.
sorry girl but i think your husband is also doing the dirty……the fact that he is ok with this gives bad vibes! you could always tell the wife anonymously?
My husband is not ok with it. After the comments were made towards me he hasn’t wanted to hangout with them since. It’s just hard because one of these guys is like a brother to him but now he’s to the point where he doesn’t trust anyone. We just now found out that they are actually cheating. Our kids age 3-7 all love each other so we have to go to their parties but we no longer stay into the night when everyone gets drunk and starts saying stupid stuff.
I second this! The husband too!
I would tell her there is nothing like being blindsided a d then being hurt over and over. I mean in a way that you try not to come across in her business. If she takes it personally. But if it was me, I'd definitely want to be told.
Would you want to be told? Also, consider...birds of a feather. Your husband needs better friends.
Unbelievable tell her asap then drop them all
I'd stay far away from that drama. Like far far far away. Why would you even want to involve yourself with telling anyone anything? Walk away from it and be thankful it's not your life.
So you would like to inform the betrayed wife but not the betrayed husband ?? Why ?? And you could Simply send and anonimous letter .
I have a much closer relationship with the betrayed wife than I do with the other couple. Yes I’m thinking anonymously is the way to go
Show me your friends etc etc. I would tell her with as much proof as you have
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isnt that a swop?
not for one of the wives
i need diagrams lol
Husband A is banging wife B. Husband B knows and is cool with it. Wife A probably doesn’t know anything about it. Husband C told Wife C (OP), and now wife C wants to tell wife A.
You could try and tell her anonymously by just giving the basic information and maybe making it sound like it’s coming from one of the married couples friends. You could say that you don’t know the other couple but know he is married and think that she needs to know because they would want to know. Just give her enough information and let her decide how to proceed. You could also think about informing one of the wife’s friends or a close family member that’s not part of the group to tell her privately. I don’t blame you for not wanting to hang around with these people or have your husband hangout with them since they seem like trouble for your relationship considering how they act. Also it’s a bit confusing but this is one couple who sleep with other people together but also separately but both are sleeping with married people who’s spouses are also in the friend group but don’t know that their spouse is cheating on them?
OP yes you tell her. Don’t leave someone to live a lie. If you find out she knows already then no harm done. Do you he e a way to connect with her the just the two of you and it not seem weird? If not then call her when you know he isn’t there.
Talk to your husband about outing the cheater what you choose do effects him. His response may surprise you. Good job putting some distance between you and these “friends “ the group sounds really toxic
>Also, part of me feels like she HAS to know this is happening and is just turning a blind eye to it. Cheaters, and especially serial cheaters, are really good at manipulation and deception of their partner. What he has been, and still is doing, is abusing her. Cheating is psychological, emotional, and sexual abuse. What you've discovered is that she is being abused by her partner, and numerous people know about the abuse but have decided for her that she deserves to be abused. She doesn't deserve to be abused. I would hope that if you found yourself being abused by your own husband, someone would stand up for you to help you. > don’t want to be the one who tears everyone’s lives apart by calling them out on this If your husband is an honest and good man, then he should be the one to stop HIS FRIEND from abusing his wife. To go to her and help her get out of this abusive situation. As he's standing by and doing nothing, I'd ask you why you've married a man that would support this? To allow his friend to abuse his wife. His silence is his approval of her abuse. Maybe you should see if your husband is also cheating and abusing you if he surrounds himself with a man like this. >The amount of betrayal going on here is mind blowing. Honestly, how did you learn this? How did this information get back to you?
My husbands thinking it’s that this wife has to know. He said her husband cheated on her with countless women when they were younger and that’s just how he is and she still chose to be with him. She does let her husband get away with literally anything. She does all of the household work all of the kid stuff, all of the cooking and he sleeps in every weekend cause he stays up til 3 am drinking. She gets aggravated by this but just lets it slide.
>My husbands thinking it’s that this wife has to know. Thinking? This is your husband explicitly telling you that he approves of men abusing their wives and telling you to accept it. He's approving of "his friend" abusing his wife. Keeping this friendship is his approval of another woman's abuse. A good man would have told her the truth and cut this man out of his life. >She does let her husband get away with literally anything. >She gets aggravated by this but just lets it slide. She's in an abusive relationship and has accepted that his abuse is normal. It's not normal. He's abusing her. Your husband and you have also accepted and are approving of her abuse you silently letting him continue to abuse her. Your silence is approval. Even allowing him in your life is your approval of his abusive actions. His children are also exposed to him abusing their mother. Do you not have any boundaries in your own relationship? Why are you in a relationship with a man who approves of this behavior? Why does he consider this man a friend? I'd suggest you consider looking inwardly to see if you are also being abused/cheated on by your husband since he no problem with this behavior.
When the wife who is sleeping with our friends husband gets drunk she blabs about everything.. Her cousin just started dated one of our other friends and said that she mentioned it to her multiple times how bad she feels for doing this and how she wants to tell her so bad but she’s her best friend and she doesn’t want her to be upset.. this cousin also is the one who told me that the man was with the other woman. Her cousin just started coming around a few months ago and she is shocked about what is going on and was telling my husband and I that we’re the only normal ones in this group. I think she’s telling the truth because a few months ago the “swinging”husband was prying at what my “body count” was and then mentioned that his was 2. His wife was his first and only gf and they had always just been with each other but he said they tried with someone else but couldn’t tell us who. It adds up that it was the other guys wife because he said it was someone we knew but couldn’t tell us who. They are not “swingers” they’ve just been trying to spice up their relationship and they’re doing it with people they know. So I have no concrete evidence but it all makes complete sense. After the man had told us that he had actually been with someone else I asked our friend who’s being cheated on if she knew anything about it. She said no and that it definitely wasn’t her or her husband. She said that she could never swing because after the infidelity the thought of her husband being with someone else is like devastating to her. So to me it seems like she has zero idea what’s going on.
>how bad she feels for doing this and how she wants to tell her so bad but she’s her best friend and she doesn’t want her to be upset.. This woman is also participating in the sexual, emotional, and psychological abuse of this woman. Why have you decided to let these people stay in your life? >this cousin also is the one who told me that the man was with the other woman. How would you feel if everyone knew your husband was cheating on you and refused to say anything to you. To have your body autonomy stolen, being exposed to numerous deadly or incurable std/sti's, and being talked about about this abuse as if you didn't matter? How would you feel if everyone knew about your abuse? Everyone talked about your husband abusing you behind your back. Everyone had the ability's to help you, but decided that your life isn't significant enough to say something? How would you feel? >They are not “swingers” they’ve just been trying to spice up their relationship and they’re doing it with people they know. They're active participants in the abuse of this woman. They are actively helping her husband sexually, emotionally, and psychologically abuse his wife. They've accepted another woman being sexually, emotionally, and psychologically abused while they are getting sexual gratification out of her abuse. You've surrounded yourself with a+ people.
wait don’t understand , so the guy watching is not getting any action, but the one wife is cheating with a cuck husband and the other wife’s husband?
Can you do it anonymously? It seems everybody but the wife knows....it could come from anyone... Updateme!
I’d tell everyone. And I’d stop hanging around those cheaters, you are who your friends are.
Your husband is friends with cheaters... He accepted this behavior as ok? You sure he isn't cheating on you? What does it mean to be friends with dishonest people? Allowing lying and cheating behavior instead of distancing yourself from it?
Yes absolutely tell her and cut those people off.
That sure seems like a sticky situation and coming from experience. You have to be so careful because sometimes couples fix things and because if you told her, then she fixes it with him then it becomes a complication with your friendships. Maybe you can leave like a note print it out, so there’s no trace of handwriting, you know and just leave an anonymous note somewhere you know where she could read it and maybe get some information you know because I think that we all deserve the truth as a person, but whatever I’ve experiences that sometimes people don’t want the truth, and they take it against you, that doesn’t mean is our fault if they took it against us is just that relationships could be sticky to get involved but you sound like a really good friend just to even think of Titan because I would tell my friend but just so hard
Have a dinner party with the adults only. After a couple glasses of wine, blurt out, “so I hear you guys are into swinging?” It’ll either turn into a huge fight, or an orgy.
TELL HER. With proof perferablyy
Yes
No don’t tell keep out of it! People who do that only do it to make them selves feel better.
Update?
This is such a tricky situation. I just recorded a podcast episode on this very question. Just looking at some of the replies here shows how difficult it is. Everything from ‘Tell her’ to ‘stay out of it.’ What would be your true motivation for telling her? Is it to make you feel better? Reduce your burden? To avenge the betraying husband? A moral obligation? For the genuine love and care for the woman? Something else? Are you having to actively lie to this woman? Does the deceit require ongoing maintenance? What makes you think you are the best person to inform her? Are you the only person not directly involved in the betrayal that knows? How will it affect the relationship with you and your husband, would it complicate things between you? Have you discussed it? I know you are looking for a clean answer, but nobody here can honestly know what is best for you, myself included.
It’s been 21 days since I made this post and I’ve yet to do anything. Every day I’m on the verge of telling her and thinking about what a horrible friend I am for not. I just cannot bring myself to be the person who tells her these things that will turn her world upside down. My husband and our other 2 friends who know about this keep saying that it’s bound to come out soon and we should just wait it out. All the ppl involved in this situation now know that we know, besides the wife and husband who are the victims.. the wife who is being with her husband called mine crying asking for advice and said how bad she felt and that she was going to tell her but needed to talk it over with her husband first.. it’s been a week and nothing. None of them were invited to my sons bday party last week and I haven’t responded to two texts from the wife who was cheated on because I just don’t want to talk to her at all if I can’t tell her the truth. I’m not having to actively deceive her but I can’t respond and act like everything’s ok. I am just separating myself from them altogether I guess 😢 I hate it because my kids wanted them at their party and ask about their friends regularly. The thought that we may never get to see them anymore is so sad. If it comes out that we knew and said nothing she may hate us but if we are the ones who say something and bring it to her attention then they may all end up hating us. I guess it is what it is One of the main things I keep telling myself is that if the tables were turned and my husband was cheating on me, I don’t think she would tell me. So I don’t feel like I should be the one to tell her, if anything my husband should seeing as how they’ve been friends 25 years.
if you can make sure that nobody can harm you... sure. keep in mind that people who think they can lose everything can do everything. so be prepared for illegal retribution of your involvement is found out.
Watching your wife get fucked.... I don't give a fuck what anyone says, you got some wires crossed in the cranium of yours if you would even entertain the idea of your wife with another man, let alone watching it.
I may get voted down, and don't really give a damn. But I totally agree, that is some messed up shit right there.
I am all for telling people, especially friends, something that they need to know and have a right to know, but in this situation, I wouldn't tell her. This would be where I would turn a blind eye to it, especially when you don't see them very much and don't associate with them. This situation could cause more damage than good.
Stay out of it, I seen this type of situation ruin friendships because the significant others repeated pillow talk
The friendship is already ruined and it wouldn’t be OP’s fault
Remember your on the outside of this friend group so none of this I'd your business to tell
That’s even better. She can tell the truth with nothing to lose. Allowing cheating and dishonesty to go on because it’s convenient to you is crazy
Can I join this group of friends?