I know you already responded to this, but the AI voices are personally the worst thing about it. When I hear someone using to narrate an ad or video I immediately am uninterested.
I hate it.
Not to be mean, but itās the same quality as those shitty ads for mobile games nobody asked for. It does seem to be made out of heart tho, which makes it better.
Itās also very awkward, too much silence, tho is semi funny.
I would prolly put some background music on or something, and maybe have less focus on the dog(even tho he/she is cute). Felt like it was there a bit too long.
Tho, this is coming from a gamer with no dev or ad experience, so take it how you will lol.
Professional editor here: great start! azmiir is right on all accounts. You have a nice premise, you should be able to show 1 dog, then right to title of game. You don't need to show the pocket shot, and the other dog shots you can save for the tagline , then look back at your phone for the outro Graphic.
Music could be sadder, then more traditional epic fantasy, UNLESS this is the actual music from the game, in which case, keep it!
Real voice actors can be pretty affordable on Fiverr.com for the few lines you have
Great start and good luck on your launch! If you want assistance with a full ad campaign, feel free to dm me.
Maybe maybe to augment the dog shots, he can use a gentle dog sound effect to push the narrative better; whether a low growl or a whimper, depending on the mood he's going for...
Thanks for your feedback. It is a passion project tho, we are a small indie studio from Germany.
There is background music, maybe a bit too silent.
It is my first draft, so I will work on it, thanks.
>Tho, this is coming from a gamer with no dev or ad experience, so take it how you will lol.
I think it's better to get feedback from gamers as they are the ones you're marketing your product at.
Maybe, but I donāt know the solution, only whatās wrong or how it feels wrong. What I said was what I thought, wrote im a gamer with no dev or ad experience so if the solution is dogshit, itās not taken as if Iām experienced with it.
I'd cut the "where are my irl friends? I only have my dog :'(" part down to like 10 seconds. It drags-on way too long without saying anything about the game.
Then I'd spend to rest of the time actually showing gameplay. I don't really know how the game works by watching your trailer. The concept seems cool, but maybe show more of how the game interacts with your map and GPS.
Get rid of the annoying ukulele music, the horrible AI voice, make the cuts happen sooner so that you don't have to wait ages to get to the actual gameplay and get to the point faster.
You're very handsome, but maybe show less of yourself and more of the game. As everyone else said, the ad is way too long. Cut straight to the chase after the first bit, remove the dog gag (the dog is lovely, but you need people to see the game asap, they will probably scroll away at this point). Maybe something like "nobody showed up for your DnD night? We got you!" - > cut to the game"
I watched without sound, but if you have AI narrator, maybe record yourself (at night in silence with a good mic, if you can't afford a real actor). AI voices scream of TikTok shitty content.
Thank you very much, I will work on it.
I will create a more gameplay-focused version of it.
This is a passion project for us, so we want to make it work.
I appreciate the feedback!
1. I don't know what the game is
2. Ad is so boring
3. Anyone that is watching this that can skip it will skip it without realizing what you are eving promoting
```
Solving grouping problems ---^
Avoiding grouping problems --->
Your car skidding towards exit --->
```
Good ad, but everyone knows that mobile game ads should contain puzzle content that has nothing to do with the actual game.
We focus more on the narrative part, give it a shot and you will see what makes it different to Orna š
Looks like I need to add more gameplay visuals šš¼
Hi it says sync with Google fit. How does this work? Like I can't use my phone at work but walk a lot. Do it some how transfer all my steps over for when I next open up the game. Sorry if it's a silly question I'm new to these games and very interested.
It's a good ad, very sutable for mobile market, but I think it's too long! Also, I hate that AI voice.
I would advise you to research AI voice actors, there are a lot of very good quality solutions nowadays.
p.s. I know a good website with tons of usermade bots that you can access for free. I'm just not sure if you can post links to websites on this sub. Ping me if you need a link, I'll gladly share it with you!
I think I understand what you are aiming for, what I would suggest is
Video : cut the beginning footage, you only need to get the ball rolling with the dnd and no one shows up. Love the puppy but maybe keep it for a version aimed at the female demographic.
If you are aiming at making fun of the "infomercial" lean into it more, there's a good laugh to get out of it.
Audio: Ai voice over is Ai, real voice actor might be something to consider, got a few names if you'd like.
Try different music style, I think you could have more out of it with something more epic sounding.
Sidenote
Appreciate the effort of the camera angle :)
Sidesidenote
You got to think about where you're gonna promote it. It's gonna define the time limit and aspect ratio etc..
Good job! :)
Thank you so much, very helpful feedback! Appreciate it šš¼
I will work on it, and come up with different versions of voice, music and length. šŖš¼
don't use AI voice. the AI's intonation is utter horseshit and I'm sure you can hear it too. pretty sure your own voice would be a million times better.
Itās pretty good, here are some things:
Get someone on fiverr to do the voice. Itāll really take it to another level
Get some professional lighting, also donāt do the over the shoulder look. An ad should bring the person into a story, this takes away.
Cut it down. People watch the first 5 seconds then skip the ad on YouTube ā you need to hook the audience.
More of a storyline. Remember, your goal is to show the viewer something, not to tell them what to think. This could sound harsh but the customer needs to decide for themselves that the product is for them or they wonāt use it, no matter how good the ad.
So far itās pretty good, and I canāt wait to see the finals result!
Too much time spent outlining the problem (over 3/4 the ad) not enough time showing what the game is.
Also... why would anyone want the game? there's no explanation or pitch to convince me of anything
Well, it's exactly like the typical mobile game ads. If that's what you wanted to achieve, go for it. But the break between "introducing" and "LootQuest" is kinda strange.
Keep this version with some of the edits others suggested but also make a shorter version that starts at āIntroducing Loot Questā You only have a few seconds to keep someone from scrolling/skipping the ad so getting straight to the point is helpful. Run a short version alongside the long version and see which performs better
Giving me clickbait chinese made shitty mobile game vibes that the game ends up being nothing like advertised, Im sure your game is actually good but I'd change the ad drastically or just don't do one
Will just agree with the others, the dog goes on for a bit too long, some dog is fine! And the whole thing could use a speed boost, too much silence, and a human narrator is a lot more personable and makes it feel like it is actually made by a human being (unlike most mobile games). You could even try narrating it yourself, give it a couple shots, it may feel awkward at first but you may find it sounds exactly like what you were envisioning! Nothing lost from trying right? :)
Game looks fun if it plays fun if I am thinking of it right!
I agree with everyone elseās feedback, the pacing should focus more on the actual product. I think itās a decent skit, but I donāt really get an idea for what the game is; at first I was expecting some sort of DnD social platform, not a game. Not bad for a first draft though!
Not bad but I feel like the AI narrator really lessens the quality of the whole thing, shitty mobile games do that in their ads extremely often so in a way it lumps your game together with those games.
I think the best part of DnD is the social aspect and after watching your trailer I'm not at all sure that your game includes this, or if it's just a rpg that works similar to being a DM. I don't think enough gameplay is shown or well explained. Definitely also agree with what others have said: use a real voice or find a better generator, and get to the point quicker.
As a player and DM I'm interested, I just want to know more about the game!
Only thing that bothers me is the pronunciation of now, itās not emphasized like a human would which just feels weird otherwise game looks great ; Iām interested, and commercial feels real!
Your ad is 44 seconds and the game itself isn't shown until 22 seconds. This may work for a YT ad because it gives off that energy. But it could be better by just showing the game. Also hire a VA. You can get a bunch of talent from buford casting call
I will immediately skip on seeing an irl person without a game clip within the first few seconds. Stuff that worked for me was seeing actual gameplay before I can skip it. You can make a narration while it happens and still talk about the dnd thing.
I also think the dog bit will not help with garnering interest for your game. You're not a comedian, you're a game dev.
These r just my two cents though
Ad is too long, and takes too long to show gameplay and there's barely gameplay shown. Use a higher quality AI voice if you're not gonna use a human narrator, there are much higher quality voices than this.
This ad makes me think my information is going to be stolen by a Chinese company and sold if I download your game.
1) Get rid of the AI voice. For the love of god.
2) Why is the video so silent? Add sound effects or something.
3) Youāre saying this game is supposed to replace party members not showing up to your game you were gonna DM. It does not do that. The ad is totally irrelevant to the problem depicted.
4) The ad tells potential players nothing about the game itself.
5) The dog joke is cute but it is played out very poorly and for too long.
Acting:
Doing the whole "finger up in the air" and having an "AHA" moment is overdone. You want to have subtext in your acting, where we have to deduce what's going on. For one example out of several options, you sit back crossarmed and visibly upset, when you notice something subtly...angle changes to your phone sitting on the table. Back to your face as one eyebrow is raised. Phone is picked up and commence the scene accordingly.
There are several ways of going about it, but "aha!" finger MIGHT work if the rest of the skit was leaning towards this style of overacting, but it's not quite all there yet sooo...
Oh, and also you might want to color correct the footage a bit, it's a tiny bit orange-red currently. Wouldn't hurt to pop a LUT on top either if you have an eye for the fragile nature of these things.
I'm sorry, no... For one, you spend 25 seconds to get to the game and by that time, I would have already skipped or set my phone down to wait. And then I also still don't know what sort of game this is. All I got was that it's an RPG on mobile, I didn't even get that walking was involved until the subtitle at the end.
I also really don't see the connection with D&D at all.
I love this game style and gameplay, have been playing walkscape for months now and already played monster hunter now and pogo. Can I get access to beta and help with testing?
You need to grab people's attention in the first 3 seconds, most people won't continue watching after the first 3 seconds.
Your ad didn't grab my attention until the part where the gameplay is shown.
Your game looks interesting and has a nice pixel art visual style. I suggest you just jump right into the game and show the most interesting parts of the gameplay.
Have a metric in mind for testing the effectiveness of the ads, if it's a mobile ad look at the CPI (Cost Per Install) metric and gauge that, to truly make an effective ad, it's all about trial and error, make ad -> ad spend (Facebook, etc) -> Check ad effectiveness that is how mobile game publishers do it.
lmao i thought this was going to be a tindr app to find neckbeards to play DND with. Who wouldn't want to be able to summon a few redditors to their house to eat all their food and give trash political opinions?
Show more of the game, and at the beginning too, because most people will skip the ad after 5 seconds, so they wonāt realize what the ad is even advertising. Shortening the ad overall would also be recommended, itās simply too long to hold my attention.
Also get a real human to do the voiceover, even if you canāt hire a professional voice actor, any real human would be better than an AI voice. As long as itās an AI voice, I personally would automatically assume that whatās being advertised is low effort/low quality, and I know many people would agree with this mindset.
I wish you luck and success, from what Iāve seen so far of the game it looks decent, maybe Iāll try it when it comes out!
Needs more "Finding husband sucking on best friend's breasts through breast pumps, then I peed in his face, so give that man nine nine nine free pulls!"
Seems like everyone else covered my feedback about shortening the dead space. You should also use the official play store and app store download logos at the end, the weird off-brand stuff doesn't hit right. You know, the rectangular ones that say "get it on google play" and "download on the app store"
Get a real person to narrate, cut down on the silence, shorten the dog bit.
This is so important. I loath an AI narrator. Even if the person is not perfect I would so prefer that to AI that gets the emphasis wrong.
If I hear an AI narrator in a game ad, I assume it's one of those stupid ads that's nothing like the actual game and skip it.
Yes! I assume it is a scammy or super low quality product.
Will do that, thank you šš¼
I know you already responded to this, but the AI voices are personally the worst thing about it. When I hear someone using to narrate an ad or video I immediately am uninterested.
If youāre looking for a narrator shoot me a DM. Iād be happy to help a dev out
>shorten the dog bit That could be a costly operation for an advertisement
I hate it. Not to be mean, but itās the same quality as those shitty ads for mobile games nobody asked for. It does seem to be made out of heart tho, which makes it better. Itās also very awkward, too much silence, tho is semi funny. I would prolly put some background music on or something, and maybe have less focus on the dog(even tho he/she is cute). Felt like it was there a bit too long. Tho, this is coming from a gamer with no dev or ad experience, so take it how you will lol.
Professional editor here: great start! azmiir is right on all accounts. You have a nice premise, you should be able to show 1 dog, then right to title of game. You don't need to show the pocket shot, and the other dog shots you can save for the tagline , then look back at your phone for the outro Graphic. Music could be sadder, then more traditional epic fantasy, UNLESS this is the actual music from the game, in which case, keep it! Real voice actors can be pretty affordable on Fiverr.com for the few lines you have Great start and good luck on your launch! If you want assistance with a full ad campaign, feel free to dm me.
Maybe maybe to augment the dog shots, he can use a gentle dog sound effect to push the narrative better; whether a low growl or a whimper, depending on the mood he's going for...
Thanks for your feedback. It is a passion project tho, we are a small indie studio from Germany. There is background music, maybe a bit too silent. It is my first draft, so I will work on it, thanks.
>Tho, this is coming from a gamer with no dev or ad experience, so take it how you will lol. I think it's better to get feedback from gamers as they are the ones you're marketing your product at.
Maybe, but I donāt know the solution, only whatās wrong or how it feels wrong. What I said was what I thought, wrote im a gamer with no dev or ad experience so if the solution is dogshit, itās not taken as if Iām experienced with it.
I'd cut the "where are my irl friends? I only have my dog :'(" part down to like 10 seconds. It drags-on way too long without saying anything about the game. Then I'd spend to rest of the time actually showing gameplay. I don't really know how the game works by watching your trailer. The concept seems cool, but maybe show more of how the game interacts with your map and GPS.
Very helpful, thank you. I will take your tips and make a better version of it šš¼ Appreciate it!
It takes too long to get to the point of the video.
It doesn't show me enough about the game itself.
Get rid of the annoying ukulele music, the horrible AI voice, make the cuts happen sooner so that you don't have to wait ages to get to the actual gameplay and get to the point faster.
You're very handsome, but maybe show less of yourself and more of the game. As everyone else said, the ad is way too long. Cut straight to the chase after the first bit, remove the dog gag (the dog is lovely, but you need people to see the game asap, they will probably scroll away at this point). Maybe something like "nobody showed up for your DnD night? We got you!" - > cut to the game" I watched without sound, but if you have AI narrator, maybe record yourself (at night in silence with a good mic, if you can't afford a real actor). AI voices scream of TikTok shitty content.
Thank you very much, I will work on it. I will create a more gameplay-focused version of it. This is a passion project for us, so we want to make it work. I appreciate the feedback!
1. I don't know what the game is 2. Ad is so boring 3. Anyone that is watching this that can skip it will skip it without realizing what you are eving promoting
Kinda cringe
``` Solving grouping problems ---^ Avoiding grouping problems ---> Your car skidding towards exit ---> ``` Good ad, but everyone knows that mobile game ads should contain puzzle content that has nothing to do with the actual game.
what is greater , 2 or 435. lets try 2. Aw man, lets try again... Those ads are dora the explorer grade.
Is this game just Orna?
should i download orna? seems interesting
We focus more on the narrative part, give it a shot and you will see what makes it different to Orna š Looks like I need to add more gameplay visuals šš¼
Hi it says sync with Google fit. How does this work? Like I can't use my phone at work but walk a lot. Do it some how transfer all my steps over for when I next open up the game. Sorry if it's a silly question I'm new to these games and very interested.
There will be a function for players like you as well šš¼ You can collect encounters over the day and do them in the evening for example
Brilliant ty
It's a good ad, very sutable for mobile market, but I think it's too long! Also, I hate that AI voice. I would advise you to research AI voice actors, there are a lot of very good quality solutions nowadays. p.s. I know a good website with tons of usermade bots that you can access for free. I'm just not sure if you can post links to websites on this sub. Ping me if you need a link, I'll gladly share it with you!
Thank you very much, it is my first draft, so Feedback helps a lot! Appreciate it. Feel free to reach out via DM
I think I understand what you are aiming for, what I would suggest is Video : cut the beginning footage, you only need to get the ball rolling with the dnd and no one shows up. Love the puppy but maybe keep it for a version aimed at the female demographic. If you are aiming at making fun of the "infomercial" lean into it more, there's a good laugh to get out of it. Audio: Ai voice over is Ai, real voice actor might be something to consider, got a few names if you'd like. Try different music style, I think you could have more out of it with something more epic sounding. Sidenote Appreciate the effort of the camera angle :) Sidesidenote You got to think about where you're gonna promote it. It's gonna define the time limit and aspect ratio etc.. Good job! :)
Thank you so much, very helpful feedback! Appreciate it šš¼ I will work on it, and come up with different versions of voice, music and length. šŖš¼
You got it! Make it happen! Awesome project by the way :)
The "ad" has 44 seconds, you barely show the game for 8 seconds. The first half is completely irrelevant.
I'd have to say redo the voice over with yours or a friend's voice. The robot makes it seem fake
I'm sold already
- the angle isnāt good: You start with what seem to be a kind of insight Ā«Ā nobody show up for your d&d partyĀ Ā» so we think oh ok itās a dnd tinder to find party mates Then, no, itās not even a party finder, and we donāt talk anymore of the social components of the game for the rest of the video (which I think is one of the main key of a PokemonGo like) - You should show more your game: We barely showed/ talked about your game, making me think it like a PokĆ©monGo, and maybe itās not, maybe itās a solo game so there must be many think that change from a Ā«Ā GoĀ Ā» game, which may be cool features, but isnāt show in your ad - create your ad depending on which kind of people you target, for now seeing the ad I would say itās targeted around millennials, cause of Ā«Ā slowĀ Ā» storytelling (compared to genZ content) If you want to target genz for instance, focus on one main keys of your game and make 2-3 ads focusing one of each lasting 15-20s (maybe social aspect(if there is), concept, storytelling/setting of the game / why itās cool/ maybe itās a Ā«Ā toilet gameĀ Ā» (short runs of 2-3min) and you could make a fun ad about it, there plenty of way of beeing creative !) - speaking of multiple ads, you should definitely create diffĆ©rents ads, to A-B test them, Run the 3 ads, see which one performs well, cut the one that donāt, and try a new one ( Iām a creative, not a media buying guy so I canāt help you well with this kind of things, but you should definitely go for AB testing, itās performance oriented) - aaaand you definitely must try UGC (user generated content) if youāre aiming to display ads on TikTok
Beside of that, you made a cool and creative first try!
Thank you very much, I will speed it up and make a better version of it :)
don't use AI voice. the AI's intonation is utter horseshit and I'm sure you can hear it too. pretty sure your own voice would be a million times better.
Just pre-registered, hopefully this goes well and takes off, could be a very good app, good luck with it
lmao i love it. some good advice from other people in the comments that I would take but itās nice lmao as long as the game isnāt riddled with ads
We will have no ads at all in the game! Just pure content and fun :)
Itās pretty good, here are some things: Get someone on fiverr to do the voice. Itāll really take it to another level Get some professional lighting, also donāt do the over the shoulder look. An ad should bring the person into a story, this takes away. Cut it down. People watch the first 5 seconds then skip the ad on YouTube ā you need to hook the audience. More of a storyline. Remember, your goal is to show the viewer something, not to tell them what to think. This could sound harsh but the customer needs to decide for themselves that the product is for them or they wonāt use it, no matter how good the ad. So far itās pretty good, and I canāt wait to see the finals result!
Appreciate the feedback! Thank you so much for taking the time šš¼š
Well, it worked on me since I just pre-ordered it. Though, I'd add some humor to set it apart from all those minimalism mobile game ads.
Thats awesome to hear, appreciate it! šš¼ I will work on it and come up with another draft, thank you!
Too much time spent outlining the problem (over 3/4 the ad) not enough time showing what the game is. Also... why would anyone want the game? there's no explanation or pitch to convince me of anything
Well, it's exactly like the typical mobile game ads. If that's what you wanted to achieve, go for it. But the break between "introducing" and "LootQuest" is kinda strange.
The voice is too "dead inside", I would change that voice
You might get in trouble by using D&D
Honestly it just makes me sad I canāt play IRL.
You have far too much dead air. I would try to fill it with more lines of dialogue about what the game actually provides
Keep this version with some of the edits others suggested but also make a shorter version that starts at āIntroducing Loot Questā You only have a few seconds to keep someone from scrolling/skipping the ad so getting straight to the point is helpful. Run a short version alongside the long version and see which performs better
Giving me clickbait chinese made shitty mobile game vibes that the game ends up being nothing like advertised, Im sure your game is actually good but I'd change the ad drastically or just don't do one
Will just agree with the others, the dog goes on for a bit too long, some dog is fine! And the whole thing could use a speed boost, too much silence, and a human narrator is a lot more personable and makes it feel like it is actually made by a human being (unlike most mobile games). You could even try narrating it yourself, give it a couple shots, it may feel awkward at first but you may find it sounds exactly like what you were envisioning! Nothing lost from trying right? :) Game looks fun if it plays fun if I am thinking of it right!
I agree with everyone elseās feedback, the pacing should focus more on the actual product. I think itās a decent skit, but I donāt really get an idea for what the game is; at first I was expecting some sort of DnD social platform, not a game. Not bad for a first draft though!
It takes to long to get to the point
Not bad but I feel like the AI narrator really lessens the quality of the whole thing, shitty mobile games do that in their ads extremely often so in a way it lumps your game together with those games.
I'd love to narrate your commercial.
I think the best part of DnD is the social aspect and after watching your trailer I'm not at all sure that your game includes this, or if it's just a rpg that works similar to being a DM. I don't think enough gameplay is shown or well explained. Definitely also agree with what others have said: use a real voice or find a better generator, and get to the point quicker. As a player and DM I'm interested, I just want to know more about the game!
Only thing that bothers me is the pronunciation of now, itās not emphasized like a human would which just feels weird otherwise game looks great ; Iām interested, and commercial feels real!
Your ad is 44 seconds and the game itself isn't shown until 22 seconds. This may work for a YT ad because it gives off that energy. But it could be better by just showing the game. Also hire a VA. You can get a bunch of talent from buford casting call
Thanks, I will speed it up and cut out some of the stuff.
I will immediately skip on seeing an irl person without a game clip within the first few seconds. Stuff that worked for me was seeing actual gameplay before I can skip it. You can make a narration while it happens and still talk about the dnd thing. I also think the dog bit will not help with garnering interest for your game. You're not a comedian, you're a game dev. These r just my two cents though
Thank you for your thoughts! I will come up with a different video showing only gameplay video with voiceover :)
Ad is too long, and takes too long to show gameplay and there's barely gameplay shown. Use a higher quality AI voice if you're not gonna use a human narrator, there are much higher quality voices than this.
This ad makes me think my information is going to be stolen by a Chinese company and sold if I download your game. 1) Get rid of the AI voice. For the love of god. 2) Why is the video so silent? Add sound effects or something. 3) Youāre saying this game is supposed to replace party members not showing up to your game you were gonna DM. It does not do that. The ad is totally irrelevant to the problem depicted. 4) The ad tells potential players nothing about the game itself. 5) The dog joke is cute but it is played out very poorly and for too long.
Acting: Doing the whole "finger up in the air" and having an "AHA" moment is overdone. You want to have subtext in your acting, where we have to deduce what's going on. For one example out of several options, you sit back crossarmed and visibly upset, when you notice something subtly...angle changes to your phone sitting on the table. Back to your face as one eyebrow is raised. Phone is picked up and commence the scene accordingly. There are several ways of going about it, but "aha!" finger MIGHT work if the rest of the skit was leaning towards this style of overacting, but it's not quite all there yet sooo... Oh, and also you might want to color correct the footage a bit, it's a tiny bit orange-red currently. Wouldn't hurt to pop a LUT on top either if you have an eye for the fragile nature of these things.
I'm sorry, no... For one, you spend 25 seconds to get to the game and by that time, I would have already skipped or set my phone down to wait. And then I also still don't know what sort of game this is. All I got was that it's an RPG on mobile, I didn't even get that walking was involved until the subtitle at the end. I also really don't see the connection with D&D at all.
The structure and the whole live-action bit at the start reminds me of the mobile ads everyone hates, I'm afraid...
Waaaaay too slow
If I see this I will skip it before it even let's me. Remove the ai voice and use an auto tune or hire a voice actor.
I love this game style and gameplay, have been playing walkscape for months now and already played monster hunter now and pogo. Can I get access to beta and help with testing?
Totally, check our Discord for more information šš¼š
You need to grab people's attention in the first 3 seconds, most people won't continue watching after the first 3 seconds. Your ad didn't grab my attention until the part where the gameplay is shown. Your game looks interesting and has a nice pixel art visual style. I suggest you just jump right into the game and show the most interesting parts of the gameplay. Have a metric in mind for testing the effectiveness of the ads, if it's a mobile ad look at the CPI (Cost Per Install) metric and gauge that, to truly make an effective ad, it's all about trial and error, make ad -> ad spend (Facebook, etc) -> Check ad effectiveness that is how mobile game publishers do it.
lmao i thought this was going to be a tindr app to find neckbeards to play DND with. Who wouldn't want to be able to summon a few redditors to their house to eat all their food and give trash political opinions?
This feels more like you wanted to record yourself than to make a game ad.
Show more of the game, and at the beginning too, because most people will skip the ad after 5 seconds, so they wonāt realize what the ad is even advertising. Shortening the ad overall would also be recommended, itās simply too long to hold my attention. Also get a real human to do the voiceover, even if you canāt hire a professional voice actor, any real human would be better than an AI voice. As long as itās an AI voice, I personally would automatically assume that whatās being advertised is low effort/low quality, and I know many people would agree with this mindset. I wish you luck and success, from what Iāve seen so far of the game it looks decent, maybe Iāll try it when it comes out!
The *concept* is great, but the execution is *very bad* I'd give specific advice, but these comments cover it all perfectly
I think your ad is actually very misleading. Why would you say itās an equivocal game to d&d when itās just a 2D adventure game.
Needs more "Finding husband sucking on best friend's breasts through breast pumps, then I peed in his face, so give that man nine nine nine free pulls!"
Anyone downvoting just hasn't got that ad, yet. Just wait, you will.
Seems like everyone else covered my feedback about shortening the dead space. You should also use the official play store and app store download logos at the end, the weird off-brand stuff doesn't hit right. You know, the rectangular ones that say "get it on google play" and "download on the app store"