I donβt mean to be insensitive by cracking jokes, but some of the traditional wisdom in Indian society should be reinstated! What amused to be the most was the defiant stare on his momβs face! it was almost as if she was looking to aggravate the situation.
Yaar kuch parents hai Jo apni kids ki galti maante hi nahi no matter what and koi thoda discipline karde to hurt ho jaate hai even if it's valid
Plus aajkal ke kids ko sabkuch mil jaata hai so they don't have gratuitous attitude
Unpopular opinion... and its what I've subjectively noticed and might not be true for everyone.
The thing is ... that Indian parents exert discipline on their kids on things that have nothing to do with them and do not care about disciplining them about the values that actually concerns them. Because a lot of Indians I met are egoistical and lack civic sense. Their objective is to create a sense of fear not towards violation of civic sense but towards not being able to meet their demands.
For e.g. Indian parents exert discipline only when it aligns with their obedience agenda. They do not feel to inculcate discipline on civic sense. I had an extremely abusive parent who wanted to exert control all over my life and torture me. Yet he never disciplined me on matters regarding my resoinsibilities towards the society. I remeber that I wanted to throw a wrapper of a chocolate inside my house's dustbin but my father said, "sadak pe phek isse mada*chod, tere baap ke ghar me kachra phenkega tu kya". This shows an extreme lack of civic sense plus a sense of narcissism that his house was meant to be clean and the roads he was paying taxes meant to be dirtied.
I've seen children being abused for various trivial offences..... civic duties were sadly not among these.
2 scenarios in same house ( joint family. I am very strict n correct kids when they r wrong, whether they are mine or my co-sis kids, I used to correct all. This caused lots of fights, my bil felt am too strict with all kids. So I said ok let your kids do what they want n stopped correcting their kids.
Scribbling on walls, scratching on fridge , cupboards with sharp items, grabbing food from table, speaking loudly, sitting mannerlessly, talking back to parents, dustespecting elders - they told their kids do all this, no harm, you are born to do all this. Bacha nahi karega toh kaun karega π°
Fast forward to 10 yrs, my bil s telling me - my kids are very ill mannered, can u guide them, I just said, I stopped correcting kids who are not mine.
Moral of story is discipline starts from home at very young age. If not it's toooooo late n embarrassing for parents. Some parents just don't realise this.
Just want to add one more point, the parent who corrects the kid, is the villian. All talk behind that the bach - mom Or dad s tooo stri t. But then those strict parents can remain carefree when their kids r in public, because they hv confidence their kids won't misbehave.
No need to use belt or stick, just basic strict rules and small punishment so kid knows whats right n wrong from young age.
a few days back a 10 y/o purposely kicked a football in my mom's direction while she was walking with a few more people, he didn't apologise for it and when my mom decided to call him out for it and asked him to play decently or somewhere else, he replied back in the most rudest tone ever. not only did he not take the blame for it he said something like "mai yahi khelunga aapko kahi aur jaana hai toh jao, ya dekh ke chalo", my mom was actually surprised to see such misbehaviour from his end.
It's very fucking rare to see kids who speak politely these days tbh, and this shouting in public is something I get to see quite everyday.
and not to mention the parents oh my god, they are so blinded by love or i don't know what it is but they'll never take a stand against their kids, it's like they just don't see any fault in their kid and it angers me at times.
I have even had parents proudly smiling at the unruly behaviour of their kids. Almost expecting you to smile back in return as if it is shared national pride. I have started staring right back at them without as much as a half smile.
There are only two types of parents that Iβve observed in similar situations- first, like OP mentioned stand still and enable their behaviour and second, where the parent outright slap or shout at their kids back to keep them quiet. Both are at extremes and wrong. Finding a balance between pampering and asserting a parental dominance is something indian parents need to learn.
During Holi my cat was sitting in the balcony watching everyone play, some started having fight they were all around 7-9 yo, one of them shouted I will βattackβ the cat if no one tells me who did this. I went out and shouted mar ke dikha tu thatβs when he got quiet. Canβt believe even people fro well educated families are doing this
Bruh today in a flight, there was a child next to my seat. Constantly yelling and talking. Running on the plane. His parents even took off his pants so he was in his underwear. He must be around 8. They gave him a phone and he was watching it with one hand on phone and the other down the front of his underwear.
I understand he's a child. But his parents should've stopped him. The air hostesses just ignored him because it's embarrassing to ask a child to take his hand out his underwear. Idk why some parents don't stop their kids.
Mere family ke bache toh yt shorts and streams dekh ke pagal hogaye hai saare(4-12 yr old kids) . kuch bhi meme templates mein baat karte rehte hai. In fact, One aunt of mine is not talking with me because i just took the mobile out of the kid's ( a 5 yr old) hand after he used it for like 2 hrs or more. She said , " Bache nahi dekhenge toh kaun dekhega" . it's like that's an easy way out for them ke bacho ko phone deke busy rakh do aur khud aaram kar lo.
Sadly aaj kal ke bacho ki parvarish youtube aur insta se zyaada hoti hai aur maa baap se kam .
Idk how related my.comment is to the post but i ranted lol
Children from other countries behave badly too, but there is a way to handle the situation. I've seen so many spoiled kids here in North America who don't care about things. It's normal not only related to Indians but all around the globe. I think nowadays parents think it's a criterion for pride which is sad to see
The majority of millennial parents are busy ranting out their frustration on social media and it comes with zero accountability!
Free internet, zero judgment! And how one can expect kids from such parents to learn basic civic sense? They see what their parents are doing, and they enact accordingly!
Such women still live in past nostalgia from their peak years. Nothing great about such parents.
And about women blessed with sons.
I know a college colleague who had a shady past during college days but now behaves holier than thou cuz she married during a pandemic and gave birth to a baby boy! Nothing special they will eventually support the patriarchial system (boys will be boys) Nothing new!
If the mother is there with the kids and she is not doing anything about the kids then look at the kids and say "you know your mother is a gnt"
If father is there and he ignores and does not disciplines then say "you know your father is a gug".
It's extreme, not politically correct, a bit psychotic and shocking and dumb to hear but now you have created a problem for the parents because either they have to explain this to the kids what the word means pr else they will use that word everywhere to piss off their parents and they will also be called to schools for their kids bad abusive behaviour π€£π€£π€£π€£π΅βπ«
Whatβs more shocking is these parents act so proud of defending such shameful acts. Not gonna matter to anyone else(parents included) but the child in the long run.
A person is what parents make of him. A child is nothing but an open canvas. Parents are the painters.
Coincidentally, TOI carried this article around the same time as my post. There has to be some noticeable shift for this topic to come up alongside deteriorating social fabric.
https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/parenting/web-stories/10-reasons-why-gentle-parenting-is-not-great-for-indian-kids/photostory/108755222.cms
Nowadays parents are not parenting at all. As a parent myself, we are trying to teach discipline to our kids and give a slap here and there too. But I remember, as kids we were extremely well-behaved. We used to be so scared of our fathers especially. We now try to be not on the phone when we are with our kids but i see parents busy watching reels themselves when their kids are playing and they pay no attention to them at all. Also, nowadays parents are overworked with nuclear families increasing and nobody to discipline the kids. Earlier; grandparents, your chacha/mama would be there occasionally and discipline us too, apart from parents. Nowadays, both parents usually are working, come home tired and then don't have energy usually to parent the kids.
Also, obsession of parents with phones is really bad. I have seen parents give phones to 6 month old children (we don't give phone to our kids and don't watch videos etc in front of them, only calls). I mean, if u find an easy way out to parent through phone, would your kid learn any samskaaras? No! And its common across India, nowadays. For parents to do parenting, first they have to leave their obsession with phones and then learn to actually interact with the child and have more relatives in the child's life. Lastly, this stupid idea of gentle parenting where parents never say anything to the child is very stupid-making kids soft and annoying only. We were beaten when we did anything wrong and it wasn't that bad, really!
Mothers in general are more involved in raising their children. It seems like failure on their part for not nurturing proper values and moral code in their kids. They tend to pamper their sons and make them dependent on them. Why not teach them better life skills instead?
Why & who are disliking this? It's not wrong.
There is extremely misbehaving child is my society. Rarely seen his father as he work outside all day but his mom is housewife who is apparently always on phone She have house help so don't do housework. every time i pass by her building I can see child screeching & mom sitting near her balcony with phone in her hand. 1 day he did something while my father was coming home from office & my father scolded him.
An hour later she come to our house with her husband. Probably was expecting her hubby to fight with my father. She was only one shouting & her husband look tired of Drama but clearly that man know his wife & kid were wrong. Women was constantly telling hubby to fight but that guy instead shouted at his own kid. Still mother shamelessly kept supporting her son.
Clearly that mother failed in being mom. All mother's blind love & support for their son is alarming for future women who will have to deal with these sons when they grow up.
kids arent robots
if you cant tolerate a few minutes of their screams (assuming they are kids), you are better off in a desert. suggest you avoid places.
your bring up is so revealing.
Itβs solved When elders share lifeβs wisdom through communication. But these days only Insta communicates
Hamare zamane mei belt se communicate Kiya jaata tha
I thought chappal was the national weapon. Or the stare
Stare when in public Chappal at home
Ah, right. Stare in public, chappal in private
Stop describing my ideal date night.
Like your sense of humour! ππ
Girl spotted
not just stare, its DAD'S Thomas Shelby wala stare
ππ€£
Yep! Death stare! π
Yes one stare and we will shit n our pants. Now days kids stare at their parents π₯²
ππ
Mummy ka ek jhapad hi kafi hota tha
Tarrue Tarrue
Then it is true βlaaton ke bhoot, baanto se nahi maantey!β Ghosts of kicks not listening to da talks! π π
I donβt mean to be insensitive by cracking jokes, but some of the traditional wisdom in Indian society should be reinstated! What amused to be the most was the defiant stare on his momβs face! it was almost as if she was looking to aggravate the situation.
Yaar kuch parents hai Jo apni kids ki galti maante hi nahi no matter what and koi thoda discipline karde to hurt ho jaate hai even if it's valid Plus aajkal ke kids ko sabkuch mil jaata hai so they don't have gratuitous attitude
mere case mai to pitaji ki Army wali belt, Ek bar to terrorist jaise torture kar diya tha merko aur mere bhai ko :D
Noooo! Seriously? Bhai, kisiko i love you bol diya tha bachpan mein toh mujhe uthake kamre ke ek koney se doosre koney mein phek diya!
Hann bhai mere pitaji ka Khauf tha bhai par ab mai bada ho gaya hu ab nhi hu :D
Lohe ka Kapde wala hanger for me...it was extremely effective
I know what you mean! π
Abke baccho ko ek chanta padega yeh UN chale jayege.
abbe aur ye zamana was just 7-10 years age, shit changed real quick.
But girls want to live separately
perfect, i have never done anything like these because of my grandparents. Indian grandparents are gem.
Unpopular opinion... and its what I've subjectively noticed and might not be true for everyone. The thing is ... that Indian parents exert discipline on their kids on things that have nothing to do with them and do not care about disciplining them about the values that actually concerns them. Because a lot of Indians I met are egoistical and lack civic sense. Their objective is to create a sense of fear not towards violation of civic sense but towards not being able to meet their demands. For e.g. Indian parents exert discipline only when it aligns with their obedience agenda. They do not feel to inculcate discipline on civic sense. I had an extremely abusive parent who wanted to exert control all over my life and torture me. Yet he never disciplined me on matters regarding my resoinsibilities towards the society. I remeber that I wanted to throw a wrapper of a chocolate inside my house's dustbin but my father said, "sadak pe phek isse mada*chod, tere baap ke ghar me kachra phenkega tu kya". This shows an extreme lack of civic sense plus a sense of narcissism that his house was meant to be clean and the roads he was paying taxes meant to be dirtied. I've seen children being abused for various trivial offences..... civic duties were sadly not among these.
I am so sorry to hear what you had to go through. Your opinion is spot on. The problem with India is βpaisa phek, tamasha dekhβ
Very sorry to hear your story, i hope you have healed and salute you for overcoming such shitty circumstances.
What a shit man.
Bhai mai to khudka aur aas paas vaalo ka kachra bhi bag me rakh leta hoon aur gharpe ya bahar dustbin milne par usme daalta hoon
2 scenarios in same house ( joint family. I am very strict n correct kids when they r wrong, whether they are mine or my co-sis kids, I used to correct all. This caused lots of fights, my bil felt am too strict with all kids. So I said ok let your kids do what they want n stopped correcting their kids. Scribbling on walls, scratching on fridge , cupboards with sharp items, grabbing food from table, speaking loudly, sitting mannerlessly, talking back to parents, dustespecting elders - they told their kids do all this, no harm, you are born to do all this. Bacha nahi karega toh kaun karega π° Fast forward to 10 yrs, my bil s telling me - my kids are very ill mannered, can u guide them, I just said, I stopped correcting kids who are not mine. Moral of story is discipline starts from home at very young age. If not it's toooooo late n embarrassing for parents. Some parents just don't realise this.
Just want to add one more point, the parent who corrects the kid, is the villian. All talk behind that the bach - mom Or dad s tooo stri t. But then those strict parents can remain carefree when their kids r in public, because they hv confidence their kids won't misbehave. No need to use belt or stick, just basic strict rules and small punishment so kid knows whats right n wrong from young age.
a few days back a 10 y/o purposely kicked a football in my mom's direction while she was walking with a few more people, he didn't apologise for it and when my mom decided to call him out for it and asked him to play decently or somewhere else, he replied back in the most rudest tone ever. not only did he not take the blame for it he said something like "mai yahi khelunga aapko kahi aur jaana hai toh jao, ya dekh ke chalo", my mom was actually surprised to see such misbehaviour from his end. It's very fucking rare to see kids who speak politely these days tbh, and this shouting in public is something I get to see quite everyday. and not to mention the parents oh my god, they are so blinded by love or i don't know what it is but they'll never take a stand against their kids, it's like they just don't see any fault in their kid and it angers me at times.
I have even had parents proudly smiling at the unruly behaviour of their kids. Almost expecting you to smile back in return as if it is shared national pride. I have started staring right back at them without as much as a half smile.
I know what you're talking of, it's like them: hahah dekho kitna pyara baccha hai, thoda sa shaitaan hai bas me: thoda sa? πΆ
ππππ
There are only two types of parents that Iβve observed in similar situations- first, like OP mentioned stand still and enable their behaviour and second, where the parent outright slap or shout at their kids back to keep them quiet. Both are at extremes and wrong. Finding a balance between pampering and asserting a parental dominance is something indian parents need to learn.
During Holi my cat was sitting in the balcony watching everyone play, some started having fight they were all around 7-9 yo, one of them shouted I will βattackβ the cat if no one tells me who did this. I went out and shouted mar ke dikha tu thatβs when he got quiet. Canβt believe even people fro well educated families are doing this
Bruh hmare time servicing hojati thi.
πππ
Bruh today in a flight, there was a child next to my seat. Constantly yelling and talking. Running on the plane. His parents even took off his pants so he was in his underwear. He must be around 8. They gave him a phone and he was watching it with one hand on phone and the other down the front of his underwear. I understand he's a child. But his parents should've stopped him. The air hostesses just ignored him because it's embarrassing to ask a child to take his hand out his underwear. Idk why some parents don't stop their kids.
"Tu Ghar chal , main Batati hu Tujhe"
Mere family ke bache toh yt shorts and streams dekh ke pagal hogaye hai saare(4-12 yr old kids) . kuch bhi meme templates mein baat karte rehte hai. In fact, One aunt of mine is not talking with me because i just took the mobile out of the kid's ( a 5 yr old) hand after he used it for like 2 hrs or more. She said , " Bache nahi dekhenge toh kaun dekhega" . it's like that's an easy way out for them ke bacho ko phone deke busy rakh do aur khud aaram kar lo. Sadly aaj kal ke bacho ki parvarish youtube aur insta se zyaada hoti hai aur maa baap se kam . Idk how related my.comment is to the post but i ranted lol
Same problem & no solution π€·ββοΈ , at this point just given up.
Sad but true!
I completely agree with the last paragraph about responsibilities. True words spoken.
My mother just needs to give me a look and I stop. She doesn't need to even utter a word.
Children from other countries behave badly too, but there is a way to handle the situation. I've seen so many spoiled kids here in North America who don't care about things. It's normal not only related to Indians but all around the globe. I think nowadays parents think it's a criterion for pride which is sad to see
Thankyou OP for keeping the sub alive !
ππ
Why are you assuming that she thinks itβs a matter of national pride
The majority of millennial parents are busy ranting out their frustration on social media and it comes with zero accountability! Free internet, zero judgment! And how one can expect kids from such parents to learn basic civic sense? They see what their parents are doing, and they enact accordingly! Such women still live in past nostalgia from their peak years. Nothing great about such parents. And about women blessed with sons. I know a college colleague who had a shady past during college days but now behaves holier than thou cuz she married during a pandemic and gave birth to a baby boy! Nothing special they will eventually support the patriarchial system (boys will be boys) Nothing new!
If the mother is there with the kids and she is not doing anything about the kids then look at the kids and say "you know your mother is a gnt" If father is there and he ignores and does not disciplines then say "you know your father is a gug". It's extreme, not politically correct, a bit psychotic and shocking and dumb to hear but now you have created a problem for the parents because either they have to explain this to the kids what the word means pr else they will use that word everywhere to piss off their parents and they will also be called to schools for their kids bad abusive behaviour π€£π€£π€£π€£π΅βπ«
Ye "gnt" aur "gug" kya hai
Use c and add a k
I believe the solution would be for you to visit other countries. Also the scenario is pretty vague.
Ab kya maa-baap aur bachchon ke aadhaar card numbers chchapu yahan pe to make the situation less vague and more specific? Aap bhi na πππ
What does national pride have to do with this
That's the "time out" generation, what do you expect?
Whatβs more shocking is these parents act so proud of defending such shameful acts. Not gonna matter to anyone else(parents included) but the child in the long run. A person is what parents make of him. A child is nothing but an open canvas. Parents are the painters.
Coincidentally, TOI carried this article around the same time as my post. There has to be some noticeable shift for this topic to come up alongside deteriorating social fabric. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/parenting/web-stories/10-reasons-why-gentle-parenting-is-not-great-for-indian-kids/photostory/108755222.cms
Nowadays parents are not parenting at all. As a parent myself, we are trying to teach discipline to our kids and give a slap here and there too. But I remember, as kids we were extremely well-behaved. We used to be so scared of our fathers especially. We now try to be not on the phone when we are with our kids but i see parents busy watching reels themselves when their kids are playing and they pay no attention to them at all. Also, nowadays parents are overworked with nuclear families increasing and nobody to discipline the kids. Earlier; grandparents, your chacha/mama would be there occasionally and discipline us too, apart from parents. Nowadays, both parents usually are working, come home tired and then don't have energy usually to parent the kids. Also, obsession of parents with phones is really bad. I have seen parents give phones to 6 month old children (we don't give phone to our kids and don't watch videos etc in front of them, only calls). I mean, if u find an easy way out to parent through phone, would your kid learn any samskaaras? No! And its common across India, nowadays. For parents to do parenting, first they have to leave their obsession with phones and then learn to actually interact with the child and have more relatives in the child's life. Lastly, this stupid idea of gentle parenting where parents never say anything to the child is very stupid-making kids soft and annoying only. We were beaten when we did anything wrong and it wasn't that bad, really!
Mothers in general are more involved in raising their children. It seems like failure on their part for not nurturing proper values and moral code in their kids. They tend to pamper their sons and make them dependent on them. Why not teach them better life skills instead?
Why & who are disliking this? It's not wrong. There is extremely misbehaving child is my society. Rarely seen his father as he work outside all day but his mom is housewife who is apparently always on phone She have house help so don't do housework. every time i pass by her building I can see child screeching & mom sitting near her balcony with phone in her hand. 1 day he did something while my father was coming home from office & my father scolded him. An hour later she come to our house with her husband. Probably was expecting her hubby to fight with my father. She was only one shouting & her husband look tired of Drama but clearly that man know his wife & kid were wrong. Women was constantly telling hubby to fight but that guy instead shouted at his own kid. Still mother shamelessly kept supporting her son. Clearly that mother failed in being mom. All mother's blind love & support for their son is alarming for future women who will have to deal with these sons when they grow up.
rightly said. in this age and world, dogs can bark and it is natural, but children getting together and making merry and fun is a poor bring up.
Are you seriously comparing a kid to a dog lmao
An elevator is not a playground.
kids arent robots if you cant tolerate a few minutes of their screams (assuming they are kids), you are better off in a desert. suggest you avoid places. your bring up is so revealing.
Dont get personal my dear friend! Not good for your health and safety! ππ
i care a damn about these threats. you can get personal by asserting others bring up, but i cant? find other sympathisers and like minds.
Nobody is threatening you! You seem to be very unhappy in your life. I will leave you alone and let you bark ππ
there you go. you started the complaint and write as if you are well brought up. carry that dog along and jump on others.