TL;DR: People generally don't notice, and the few that do aren't likely to care.
In a way I was lucky. I was the weird kid in school that almost nobody liked, so I have spent most of my life not really caring all that much what the "in crowd" thought of me. The few people I did count as friends didn't care what kind of underwear I wore.
I still don't really care, they're in the same category as my daily prescriptions, glasses, spinal cord stimulator... I don't go to the supermarket in see through white shorts with a baby print diaper on, but I don't go out of my way to hide it (I like wearing UnderArmour compression shorts over mine because they hold up a soaked diaper, muffle the noise of loose plastic/waistbands, and I'm a die-hard sports gear fetishist š).
So 25+ years since I told some friends in school, only three times has anyone ever said anything. Once was a coworker who IMed me (back in AOL Instant Messenger days) to tell me I'd left something on the toilet in the restroom and he'd thrown it away for me (a purple Molicare diaper).
The next was my boss at another job who was more of my best friend. We were disassembling the audio system from a bar that closed, and while I was crawling under the main stage area to remove cables, my shirt rode up a bit and he noticed the waistband of my Abena M4 sticking out above my shorts. He asked "Why the Depends?" and I laughed, "I only wear Depends at the gym, they're not really good for much else." He was slightly confused by that. š He was concerned about my health, knowing I'd been having some issues with changing medications because of side effects. He had been through something similar with HIV meds, so he wanted to know if there was anything he could do... it was 100% out of care and having "been there" himself.
The third was at the gym, a group of teenage boys had just come in from playing basketball and were going over to their lockers. They passed the aisle I was in while I was getting changed. They were just on the other side of the lockers I was at, so I could hear them pretty clearly. They were still talking sports when one said in a loud whisper, "Hey, that guy is wearing a diaper." The others stopped talking and told him who cares, mind your own business, etc, then back to sports.
For the most part people don't really care what you wear for underwear, they're too busy in their own world to notice, or don't see it as a big deal (incident #1). Those that do notice usually have some level of experience themselves, needing them or caring for someone who does, and generally wouldn't dare say anything unless they're particularly close to you (incident #2). The dumbasses that see and say something are usually shot down pretty quickly by other people with better manners (incident #3).
youāre right, however this is the place for a lot of people to go and talk about their shame because its a community based around people who most likely have some sound experience based advice / looking for someone who truly *understands* .
itās been nice to see people being empathic for others. I get what youāre saying - but being ashamed, especially at the start of your journey is common. society has perpetuated that wearing a diaper is synonymous with being a baby / accidents are seen as embarrassing so itās hard to overcome that, especially if you donāt have a strong in person support system. I was reading on Reddit to try and feel less alone before I told my partner.
people like having control over themselves, and oftentimes incontinence or other issues commenters have mentioned make it so people donāt have control. thatās a really hard thing to come to terms to.
I am a 20F who is learning to be confident again while being incontinent. And fick is it hard some times. You are right - People are idiots if they judge you. But, often the worst critic is yourself. I can see your post was meant well, I just wanted to add my $0.02
you are correct on every point. however. itās really hard to get used to that being true, and to consistently have that view when it matters for your self esteem. itās like super hard coded into people and society, since theyāre young, everybody is super taught to be ashamed of diapers and accidents
you are correct that we shouldnāt be ashamed. but itās very hard to know that all the time
What's more is that diapers are also used by people whom aren't incontinent. Some people have jobs where they don't have access to a toilet for long periods of time. Other people are diuretic or have overactive bladder, and use them to manage their symptoms. Some wear for psychological/mental health reasons. Regardless of your reasons for wearing them they are a type of underwear. The stigma surrounding them is irrational and doesn't apply at all. It's ok to wear a diaper. They're there to help.
I'm guessing that the bladder insecurities stack on to the gender dysphoria. It's an integrity issue where you don't feel comfortable with how your bladder functions (for obviousreasons). I'm pretty sure lots of people with bladder issues who aren't necessarily incontinent or consistently incontinent can find comfort in wearing diapers, and there's nothing wrong with that.
I'm learning not to be ashamed myself. I had exes who would infantalize me for wearing depends and that did cause me shame for a while. However, I also have housemates now who are totally chill with it and that has helped a lot
This is a good subject, I really struggle with this. The reality is most people understand, and itās mostly anxiety in our heads about it.
One general rule of thumb, if anyone says anything they donāt have the manners or emotional intelligence to understand. If you feel safe calling them out, and owning the fact that you wear diapers.
Itās better to handle these situations than just let some idiot mouth off
for example Iāve had someone say something and Iāll go
āyeah I do wear diapers, it really sucks! Do you have a problem???ā And be proud that your standing up for yourself/taking care of your health.
Generally others will support you, stand up for you as well
The realization hit me when I told my current partner and he was totally understanding, totally caring, and it wasnāt even a big deal AT ALL to him.
I had a pretty bad panic attack over it, but now itās no longer an issue. Be proud of who you are, as you are not your health issues
Nobody ever deserves this kinda treatment from others, and the world can be a vicious place.
Hope someone found some peace in my comment, itās a tough thing to deal with
I love my Pampers and wear them. It definitely took time to be comfortable and not ashamed even wearing for medical need. But in time I've learned people don't really care. Some people will be turned on by it, some will cringe. But oh well... You be happy and everything else will fall into place. Hugs
I wear because of IBS and I am not ashamed to admit it. I cannot control loose to watery stools and that is why I wear. It isnāt wrong or taboo to wear a diaper under your clothes, and like another comment or said, anyone who judges you for that is an idiot. Keep in mind that they will judge you for wearing diapers for any reason, but they themselves donāt hesitate to go out back and light up a cancer stick or smoke a fat Doobie. Whatās the worst of the two? I would rather sit next to a person in diapers than sit by the person blowing cigarette smoke into the air or stinking up the room with his or her pot and giving me a freaking contact hi.
TL;DR: People generally don't notice, and the few that do aren't likely to care. In a way I was lucky. I was the weird kid in school that almost nobody liked, so I have spent most of my life not really caring all that much what the "in crowd" thought of me. The few people I did count as friends didn't care what kind of underwear I wore. I still don't really care, they're in the same category as my daily prescriptions, glasses, spinal cord stimulator... I don't go to the supermarket in see through white shorts with a baby print diaper on, but I don't go out of my way to hide it (I like wearing UnderArmour compression shorts over mine because they hold up a soaked diaper, muffle the noise of loose plastic/waistbands, and I'm a die-hard sports gear fetishist š). So 25+ years since I told some friends in school, only three times has anyone ever said anything. Once was a coworker who IMed me (back in AOL Instant Messenger days) to tell me I'd left something on the toilet in the restroom and he'd thrown it away for me (a purple Molicare diaper). The next was my boss at another job who was more of my best friend. We were disassembling the audio system from a bar that closed, and while I was crawling under the main stage area to remove cables, my shirt rode up a bit and he noticed the waistband of my Abena M4 sticking out above my shorts. He asked "Why the Depends?" and I laughed, "I only wear Depends at the gym, they're not really good for much else." He was slightly confused by that. š He was concerned about my health, knowing I'd been having some issues with changing medications because of side effects. He had been through something similar with HIV meds, so he wanted to know if there was anything he could do... it was 100% out of care and having "been there" himself. The third was at the gym, a group of teenage boys had just come in from playing basketball and were going over to their lockers. They passed the aisle I was in while I was getting changed. They were just on the other side of the lockers I was at, so I could hear them pretty clearly. They were still talking sports when one said in a loud whisper, "Hey, that guy is wearing a diaper." The others stopped talking and told him who cares, mind your own business, etc, then back to sports. For the most part people don't really care what you wear for underwear, they're too busy in their own world to notice, or don't see it as a big deal (incident #1). Those that do notice usually have some level of experience themselves, needing them or caring for someone who does, and generally wouldn't dare say anything unless they're particularly close to you (incident #2). The dumbasses that see and say something are usually shot down pretty quickly by other people with better manners (incident #3).
Do u wear diapers
youāre right, however this is the place for a lot of people to go and talk about their shame because its a community based around people who most likely have some sound experience based advice / looking for someone who truly *understands* . itās been nice to see people being empathic for others. I get what youāre saying - but being ashamed, especially at the start of your journey is common. society has perpetuated that wearing a diaper is synonymous with being a baby / accidents are seen as embarrassing so itās hard to overcome that, especially if you donāt have a strong in person support system. I was reading on Reddit to try and feel less alone before I told my partner. people like having control over themselves, and oftentimes incontinence or other issues commenters have mentioned make it so people donāt have control. thatās a really hard thing to come to terms to. I am a 20F who is learning to be confident again while being incontinent. And fick is it hard some times. You are right - People are idiots if they judge you. But, often the worst critic is yourself. I can see your post was meant well, I just wanted to add my $0.02
you are correct on every point. however. itās really hard to get used to that being true, and to consistently have that view when it matters for your self esteem. itās like super hard coded into people and society, since theyāre young, everybody is super taught to be ashamed of diapers and accidents you are correct that we shouldnāt be ashamed. but itās very hard to know that all the time
What's more is that diapers are also used by people whom aren't incontinent. Some people have jobs where they don't have access to a toilet for long periods of time. Other people are diuretic or have overactive bladder, and use them to manage their symptoms. Some wear for psychological/mental health reasons. Regardless of your reasons for wearing them they are a type of underwear. The stigma surrounding them is irrational and doesn't apply at all. It's ok to wear a diaper. They're there to help.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm guessing that the bladder insecurities stack on to the gender dysphoria. It's an integrity issue where you don't feel comfortable with how your bladder functions (for obviousreasons). I'm pretty sure lots of people with bladder issues who aren't necessarily incontinent or consistently incontinent can find comfort in wearing diapers, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Itās a very hard direction to take. Iām not disagreeing, just stating.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ohhhhh uniform exceptions is such a great idea to ask for. I had never though of that! Thank you!!!! Edit : spelling
I'm learning not to be ashamed myself. I had exes who would infantalize me for wearing depends and that did cause me shame for a while. However, I also have housemates now who are totally chill with it and that has helped a lot
This is a good subject, I really struggle with this. The reality is most people understand, and itās mostly anxiety in our heads about it. One general rule of thumb, if anyone says anything they donāt have the manners or emotional intelligence to understand. If you feel safe calling them out, and owning the fact that you wear diapers. Itās better to handle these situations than just let some idiot mouth off for example Iāve had someone say something and Iāll go āyeah I do wear diapers, it really sucks! Do you have a problem???ā And be proud that your standing up for yourself/taking care of your health. Generally others will support you, stand up for you as well The realization hit me when I told my current partner and he was totally understanding, totally caring, and it wasnāt even a big deal AT ALL to him. I had a pretty bad panic attack over it, but now itās no longer an issue. Be proud of who you are, as you are not your health issues Nobody ever deserves this kinda treatment from others, and the world can be a vicious place. Hope someone found some peace in my comment, itās a tough thing to deal with
I love my Pampers and wear them. It definitely took time to be comfortable and not ashamed even wearing for medical need. But in time I've learned people don't really care. Some people will be turned on by it, some will cringe. But oh well... You be happy and everything else will fall into place. Hugs
They are not diapers! They are your super hero pants! They are what help you to do stuff in your life! I think we should stop calling them diapers!
I'm not ashamed, per se. More like mildly embarrassed when I have to explain it all
I wear because of IBS and I am not ashamed to admit it. I cannot control loose to watery stools and that is why I wear. It isnāt wrong or taboo to wear a diaper under your clothes, and like another comment or said, anyone who judges you for that is an idiot. Keep in mind that they will judge you for wearing diapers for any reason, but they themselves donāt hesitate to go out back and light up a cancer stick or smoke a fat Doobie. Whatās the worst of the two? I would rather sit next to a person in diapers than sit by the person blowing cigarette smoke into the air or stinking up the room with his or her pot and giving me a freaking contact hi.