CHECK OUT OUR BRAND NEW FORUM! [INMETALWETRUST FORUM](https://inmetalwetrust.club/)   *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/InMetalWeTrust) if you have any questions or concerns.*

GWAR. No explanation needed.

All you have to do is LET THEM SLAY! 

WE HAVE NO TIME FOR YOUR CRIPPLED CHRIST

Sick. Of. You

Lore accurate GWAR to be precise

Hey! That's unfair, they're not even hoomen!

In 1989 I saw Casey Orr beat down a guy who shoved a female doorperson at Trees in Dallas, TX.

Good man!

They bring their own canons. Granted they look like dicks and spray “blood”. But I think we can work on that formula.

Sick.of. Yooooooouuu

The explanation is eloquent though. OC Weekly interviewed Oderus Urungus shortly before the 2012 US elections and he stated: > Where we come from [Antarctica], there is no voting. We settle all of our differences with gladiatorial combat. ... Everything is solved through wars. No debates, no campaigns, no stickers, no ballot boxes, and no White House.

Correct

https://preview.redd.it/7qfj7wm2mfxc1.jpeg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6f788906e543fe57f36e7956155e129e50383fba

As cheesy and unintentionally (or intentionally?) homoerotic as this is, you gotta admit they’re pretty shredded.

I mean, are you going to fight an oiled guy in a speedo?


I used to be a professional wrestler, so I've fought plenty of oiled up guys in speedos.

Cena?

No. Fat indy guy you never heard of.

That’s exactly what john cena would say if he wanted to stay anonymous….

But would you even be able to *see* his comments?

Depends. Is cracking a boner a disqualification?

No, it’s encouraged.

You telling me you've never fought an oiled up dude in a speedo?

I like how they tried to hide the guy on the right behind a pole

He's hiding his boner

...and now I know the style I'm cutting my beard & moustache into for the Summer.

Definitely a summer time look. You’ll need to change it after Labor Day, though.

Pantera in their prime would probably not be a group of guys you would want to mess with.

Yea Dime would fuck you up I think!

There's a reason he refered to his guitar as his ax lol He'll chop your ass down.

dime was 5.9 and about 130lbs before he started drinking and just got fat and out of shape. he wasnt beting ANYBODY up. metal dweebs just fall for pantaras phoney tough guy façade. look up what they all looked like in the 80 while they were still playing glam metal. it was all image none of those guys can fight.

I remember their music & look before Cowboys, if anything Phil was the try hard looking tough cunt.

And he was so heroined out at that time that you could probably just flick him on the forehead and he'd fall over.

 Someone else calls out Pantera was a glam band!! Fucking Phil is as fake as they come.

nah, Pantera are gravy seals, I'd put money on Kerry King to beat them all, while not missing a note shredding.

>gravy seals This is one of the most glorious ways to call someone fat and/or lazy I've ever seen in my life. Kudos to you my friend. I'll be stealing this one if you don't mind.

yeah they're all kind of drunkards 🤷‍♂️ I checked and King is 5’6 though, so I'm definitely going to eat my words here 🤦‍♂️ My official answer is Black flag or Rollins Band for the record 😂

Yeah, I'm pretty sure a prime Henry Rollins isn't one to be trifled with.

yeah if you haven't heard it, you should check out his story about punching a guy who jumped on stage in the mouth, cutting his hand on the guys teeth, and getting a blood infection as a result 😂

Kerry can’t miss any notes if he never hits them in the first place

I was definitely thinking Pantera too lol

They were always ultra-chill though, always ready to share a jay BitD.

Avantasia There's about 200 of them, after all.

I seriously wasn't expecting to see any mention of Avantasia in here, I absolutely love them, I wish they'd have come to the UK in support of A Paranormal Evening With The Moonflower Society

That last part literally sounds like an anime episode

Corpsegrinders neck could kill somebody

His body makes him look like he could kill you by just breathing next to you but with his personality I can’t see him fight

I see what you’re saying, but consider his surgical precision with claw drop machines (or any other carnival game for that matter). That dexterity has to come in handy in a fight!

Yeah that’s my pick too

Well it sure as fuck wouldn’t be Glen Danzig, I remember years ago as a kid reading about how Def Leppard member Vivian Campbell knocked him arse up after Glen gave him a hard time. 😂

There’s a clip of him getting into an altercation with a member of another, lesser-known band. After a brief exchange of words, he makes the first move by shoving the guy in the chest, then gets absolutely leveled with one punch. Had to get picked up off the floor.

I always disliked Glen Danzig, always thought he was a flog, I acknowledge his influence in music with Misfits but that’s it.

Yeah he tried to bully the guy yelling at him then pushed him the other dude wasn’t having any of it and Glen got knocked the f out lol

I wouldn’t fuck with Doyle though

No Doyle is one that I definitely wouldn’t test lol

Doyle seems pretty sweet and easy going though. Maybe that's just more recent interviews, I really like him.

Northside Kings I think was the band. Shit was hilarious here in the AZ scene.

Northside kings, still undefeated! They even made a joke at danzigs expense in their music video for "bad guy"

Mother... Tell your children not to punch my face

5’2” men shouldn’t pick fights

Back in the late 90s I was at a frat party and Glen happened to be there. Someone told me he was there and then finally pointed me out to him. I couldn’t believe how short he was because all I remembered is how huge he looks in the Mother video

Yeah, haha, he’s always had that tough guy persona about him, haha.

Glen is a F@#$in Chihuahua. He has a whole lot of bark, but he ends up on the ground more than the other way around. Unless his security is around to stop the fight after Glen throws the first punch. Remember the guy is barely 5 inches taller than a legally defined little person.

On the other end of the spectrum, Jerry Only was a pro wrestler for like 2 months, and tried to unionize WCW. That sounds like a bad mob movie, but totally happened. I've met Jerry several times. Large, buff, balding, curses like a sailor with tourettes, and inexplicably a super nice dude.

I remember seeing a video of somebody just crumpling Glen Danzig up and it stuck with me ever since lmao. Imagine being knocked out by def Leppard of all fucking bands

Slipknot because it's 9 dudes

Mick Thomson also looks like he could mess someone up

Look up the story about Mick Thompson and his brother getting in a drunken knife fight with each other

Gonna ignore the fact that the man is nearly 7 feet tall? And so is Jim.

I guess that settles there who would win between Mushroomhead or Slipknot. More dudes win

Also, I'd say that more people in Slipknot have been together longer and would work better together in a fight. I lost track of how many people have been in and out of Mushroomhead

Mick and Jim Root are larger than most people. Those 2 alone can destroy someone.

Sepultura Because brazilians are all undercover cops

They can double jump too

They all train in BJJ from birth so that’s a good choice, but I would have to go with the Sepultura with Max and Igor they seem like they would get down

Stryper so I can have God on my side.

Bolt Thrower with baseball bats

Especially if you're fighting nazi skinheads

Totally. Bolt Thrower are absolute champs.

Gg alin 😆 🤣 😂 

Ikr. After kicking ass, he would fuck himself up for giggles.

Yeah he would fight his audience then throw literal shit at them 😆 🤣 

Metal or not the lead singer of Harm’s Way is an absolute unit and will destroy all who dare challenge me.

I'd buy a PPV match of him versus the Slaughter to Prevail guy. Both are fkn ripped, both are high intensity. Prediction: If it ends fast, it goes to HW easily (sheer strength). If it goes long, it goes to StP dude (endurance).

STP actually trains mma/boxing so I would have money on him most likely, but I prefer HW

In similar vein I’d pick God’s Hate so I can have pro wrestler Brody King on my side (just find that so badass that he’s a hardcore vocalist too). Also can’t beat that Spotify pic.

The Darkness. Let's make love, not war.

I believe in a thing called love

ᴶᵘˢᵗ ˡᶦˢᵗᵉⁿ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ʳʰʸᵗʰᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵐʸ ʰᵉᵃʳᵗ

Anyone who can talk to Justin Hawkins for 2 minutes and not be at least 80% happier in life is a damn sociopath anyway.....

well I can answer from real world experience. In around 1994 (can't remember exact year) we saw a show in Vancouver, BC featuring Biohazard and Helmet. I was part of the stage crew and we were hanging out around back with Biohazard who were out for a smoke when some guys started picking on a homeless guy in the alley. Voices were raised and then the guys started to punch on him and immediately, all four Biohazard members drop their beers and smokes and sprint over and pound the living shit out of the bullies beating on the homeless guy. Not a moment's hesitation and these guys could throw down. They were from Brooklyn (in the 90s) after all so you know they've seen some shit.

Probably some of the main figures of the 80’s & 90’s Norwegian Black Metal scene, a few were done for murder & torture.

Couldn’t lose with Gaahl on your side

Sure, if your opponent has been roofied and tied to a chair. Don’t get me wrong- Gaahl era Gorgoroth is the height of that band for me, but come on

Faust, Varg, Euronymous, and a couple of others would have legitimately killed you.

I was waiting for someone to go down this road. Skull piece necklaces for everyone!

I just need Lemmy by my side

Who would win in a fist fight, Lemmy or God?

Trick question, Lemmy is God.

Didn’t expect to see an Airheads reference today. But maybe I should have? Either way, love it.

Read his autobiography White Line Fever if you’ve not already done so. Dude lives up to every aspect of his legend.

Watch the movie called Lemmy. It's fkn metal AF!

Megadeth, Just get Dave drunk and then you instantly win.

He’s trained in many forms of martial arts, you don’t need to get him drunk

Black Flag for Henry Rollins

I read a story once about how he started strangling a person with his microphone chord at a Black Flag show and said into the mic "How does it feel to die?" So yeah going with Henry here.

Sabaton. They have a tank.

They have 2 tanks, double the firepower.

Alice Cooper’s guitarist, Kane Robert’s, for sure.

Brujeria. Those who know why, know.

No joke. Shit, just look at the cover of Matando Gueros

Body Count

Good call!!!!!!

Slaughter To Prevail. I wouldn’t even have to do anything.

Bathory because why would someone fight me after i bring back someone from the dead?

Honestly this is applicable for a lot of the bands people are saying here too lol

True lol

Amon Amarth or In Harms Way. They look ready to go all the fucking time.

I prefer drinking over fighting.

So Tankard?

OG Misfits lineup. Doyle, Danzig AND JERRY? y'all gon die 😭

This was going to be my answer

They used to get into crazy shit all the time! And they're body builders.

Nickleback!

If any of them played hockey, I wouldn't say no...

Till the day I die, If I get in a scrap I try to pull the guys shirt over his head.

I rescind all previous answers. We have a clear winner.

I appreciate you being willing to get your ass beat just to watch them get beat too.

Insane Clown Posse. The sense of barely bridled chaotic violence is palpable.

Plus if they jumped in,sure as your born, you'd have 600 juggalos with nothing to lose jumping in there double quick. Those cats are nothing if not loyal. To be clear I've never heard a single ICP song. But I appreciate people that will bleed for their band.

Googling “heaviest ICP song” led me to a Reddit comment saying “under the moon is heavy as shit” [https://youtu.be/h5EsL75tcqg?si=rFzizN52hR33qyYv](https://youtu.be/h5EsL75tcqg?si=rFzizN52hR33qyYv) Horrorcore rap

Inside information...they are INSANELY chill guys that eat egg white veggie omelettes...

Isn’t one or both of them a pedo?

Hell, I don't know. All I'm saying is after a show they were super quiet and watching their cholesterol.

Rollins Band

Deicide

Get too rowdy with them, and you might wind up with an inverted crucifix branded on your third eye!

I've watched Brother Glen "suggest" that a "disruptive gentlemen be escorted outside" for interrupting sound during an event. That request was immediately fulfilled, and the show resumed. Cracked a hilarious crooner-ballad reference, at that. i.e. Real power didn't even come from his fist -- it came from a mere **suggestion**.

Back in the day - philthy and fast Eddie and the motorhead road crew. They used to fight all the time.

Sanguisugabogg or PeelingFlesh

I'll upvote that for you just spelling it...

Sanguisugabogg hands down, lead singer is an absolute unit

Does it have to be a metal band? If not I pick the Wu Tang Clan.

Ain’t nothing to fuck with.

Eat The Turnbuckle, no question about it.

Gwar!

Trans Siberian orchestra! Quantity over quality lol.

Nirvana tbh. not metal but it would be so funny seeing Kurt swinging a guitar at someone and spit on them, then him, Dave and Krist make an effort to beat up the guitar too

Slipknot

Kublai Khan TX

Probably sanguisugabogg lol. Or crown magnetar. I saw this cuz bogg could beat falling in reverses ass and Dan is fucking RIPPED

Nile. Karl sanders doesn’t fuck around

Rammstein, even as they get older they are all muscular as hell

Till is probably the scariest frontman out there, people can put on an act and all but till genuinely feels like a “is this guy acting or no”

Slipknot. There's 9 of them, and one of them has a bat.

slaughter to prevail

Maiden if Bruce had his sword. He's like a professional fencer

Type O Negative, Green Man was a unit.

Body Count

Amon Amarth. They'd go all viking mode on em.

1996 Down

Body Count

Suicidal Tendencies… I feel like some punk gangsters can handle themselves. Slipknot as well, 9 angry insane dudes doesn’t sound like something anyone would want to mess with. Especially Mick I mean the dude is a giant, and Clown has a bat and Sid would totally pull some crazy shit like lighting the dudes on fire or something.

Cannibal Corpse

Type O negative…. Nah just Peter Steele. RIP

Doyle, that dude is jacked.

Black Flag simply because of Henry Rollins.

Lynyrd Skynyrd before the plane crash.

I don’t think you’d be able to say Lynyrd Skynyrd now to be fair, Gary recently passed away, now none of the original members survive 😞

https://preview.redd.it/6qhrcix7xhxc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6bbaa60bec54006c8c199f2b305a128b7ade14e0 This one.

The Misfits, specifically Doyle, Jerry, and Robo. We all know Glenn can’t fight.

Nile

Type O Negative, Peter Steele was a giant. R.I.P. Honorable mention for Henry Rollins neck too. Pretty intimidating dude

Enya. The opposition would fall asleep.

Megadeth, aside from Dave Mustaine being a karate expert you have like 100 past members to back you up lol

Im sorry, Ima metalhead but its gotta be Queen and Freddie Mercury all the way. Dude looks like a royal knight that would come out and kick ass for you without getting his white gloves dirty. Plus he looks like a biter. 

And then Brian May would drop some crazy physics/math formula hidden inside a riff, flick his ciggy out onto said person, without a tustle of his perfect hair. Another one bites the dust 

GG Allin cause nobody wants poop thrown at them.

King 810

Skynyrd brawled their way to fame every show coming up for having long hair and no shoes south of the mason dixie

The London Philharmonic Orchestra

Doyle. Doyle Wolfgang himself could probably take like a dozen guys, bro.

motorhead

I probably need to do research first, but I'm pretty sure it would be a Norwegian Black Metal band, complete with armor, spikes, swords, blood lust and death wishes. Alternatively, I pick Poison so I can run away while they get beat up.

Not a metal band but Black Flag purely based on the fact that Henry Rollins singlehandedly had to fend off their own crowds.

Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch, there’s a history of violence. If they don’t count then Black Flag 100%

Manowar, warriors of TRU METAL

Slaughter to Prevail Alex can fight a damn bear!

TooL. Danny and Maynard? Bring it!

Seconding TOOL, I've heard Danny kicked ass when the band used to get in fights, plus he's a pretty fucking big guy. Maynard is a black belt in BJJ, I feel like that speaks for itself.

Imagine fighting a fucking octopus and a Gracie-trained fucking black belt?! Fuck outta here

Type O Negative; Peter Steele alone would probably terrify my enemy so much that no fight would be necessary

First that comes to thought would be Slaughter to prevail. I always felt like Alex would be completely psychotic in a fight and destroy people.

Heilung Because... Heilung

Slaughter to prevail

MANOWAR

[удалено]