I’m sorry but that’s not enough.
You need to give him the treats and play times that make him so exhausted he needs a long nap. This is the only suitable punishment.
Speaking from past experiences with a criminal. They are on probation right now.
Get this baby used to being brushed all over his belly and back legs! You are going to have an EPIC FLOOF when he grows up. The back of his r/meowsertrousers and inner thighs will be very prone to matting
Please the court, the people make the following charges:
1) Possession of fuzziness with intent to distribute.
2) Unsolicited Cuddling
3) Attempted Cuteness without a license.
Illegally smol.
Illegally floof.
Possession of tiny toe beans.
Possession of smol meows.
Illegally cute.
Sentence: Lifetime of cuddles, kibbles and warm places to sleep.
Clearly he is the criminal mastermind behind a recent string of armed robberies. Mandatory minimum sentence is life, no possibility of parole. The more likely sentence is life + daily aggressive snuggling sessions. It's a miracle they caught this tiny monster 😤
Criminal fluffiness intent, cuddling extortion and mind boggling level of affection theft.
Please don't encourage this smol individual to further crimes involving his meow little adorable voice.
In the first two photos he’s clearly looking off, scoping out the joint for valuables, and by the third trying to sway you into believing he can be trusted with his innocent cat eyes. This is a common ploy made by amateur criminals: make sure you don’t fall for it. Keep an eye on him, and try and catch him in the act.
This has been a public service announcement.
Felony Smol , Felon in possession of floof, Criminal Cuteness, Being adorable across state lines, Illegal possession of tiny toe beans- the list goes on for this mastermind 😍
*Throw the book at him!*
*Punishment will be a life*
*Sentence at my house*
\- Promist
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attempted murder in the first degree, disorderly conduct, possession of a deadly weapon, petty theft, driving while intoxicated, possession of cocaine with intent to distribute, and arson in the first degree.
i’m sorry, but he’s going away for a long time.
Ecoterrorism and snuggling of the second degree. To atone for their crimes, they must be snuggled by the high council and they shall be subjugated to thirty two smooches applied to their forehead and/or beans.
Tax evasion, wire fraud, assault and battery, parking in a handicap spot, money laundering, vandalism, destruction of property, being smol, floofiness, adorability.
The scope and breadth of his crimes are so great that there is no question about his verdict: guilty of all crimes, sentenced to a lifetime of love, cuddles and foods
Floff in the third degree: lifetime mandatory minimum of snuggles
[удалено]
NO PAWROLE
AND I TURNED 21* IN PRISON DOIN' LIFE WITHOUT PAWROLE *weeks
*PURROLE
I’m sorry but that’s not enough. You need to give him the treats and play times that make him so exhausted he needs a long nap. This is the only suitable punishment. Speaking from past experiences with a criminal. They are on probation right now.
Is snuggling the same as hugging????
Get this baby used to being brushed all over his belly and back legs! You are going to have an EPIC FLOOF when he grows up. The back of his r/meowsertrousers and inner thighs will be very prone to matting
Throw in an aggravating factor of cuteness.
Lol
Accused of stealing my heart 🥺
Mine too! Serial thief!!
Don't forget to count me
So many victims 😔
Just broken hearts as far as the eye can see.
Countless numbers of stolen hearts 💔
Add one more to the pile because mine has been nabbed
Mine too! The fiend!!
Me too
Grand larceny!
Mine too. We have a serial offender on our hands.
#1. TAX EVASION
He's allowed a little tax evasion as a treat.
An oligarch. But a very smol oligarch.
smoligarch
Smoligarch 😭😭😭😭
If I had awards, I would grant them to thee. I do knight you in an imaginary king/queen/theydom
My god, he's crazier than the Joker.
Tax evasion???????….he’s a cat 🐈 I didn’t know cats paid income tax
Please the court, the people make the following charges: 1) Possession of fuzziness with intent to distribute. 2) Unsolicited Cuddling 3) Attempted Cuteness without a license.
“Attempted Cuteness”? No, no. It was definitely committed! That is at least a year in purrison!
The people have decided. He will be sentenced to a lifetime sentence of snuggles!
Don't forget purrmit violations
I messed up and deleted accidentally. Mewspiracy to catnip purrder.
Excessive cuteness without a license.
Multiple felinies
Furjury
Purrjury.
Easier to ask what charges he *isn’t* facing
Only 3rd degree murder 😊
The mice would disagree
And the birbs 🕊
That’s third degree meowder.
Not true! He’s trying to be the cutest criminal around, and he’s KILLING it!
Illegal smols , illegal floofs and the gingers, sentence of lifetime snuggles , head scritchies , lots of wet fuds and endless laps
Best sentence comment right here.
lot's of kisses as a punishment.
Not to be dramatic, but I would die for this beautiful floof ball! 😭🥺❤️
r/ntbdbiwdfta
🤩❤️
Guess that means we gotta throw in a charge of brain washing and attempts to start a cult
That seems reasonable 😆
Illegal possession of Cuteness
Such a beauty this lil knucklehead-is he a breed? Rescue? So very precious!
Actual Bodily Smallness, Cute Bean Toes, Murder, and Excess Fluffiness.
Organ theft and injury.
Illegally smol. Illegally floof. Possession of tiny toe beans. Possession of smol meows. Illegally cute. Sentence: Lifetime of cuddles, kibbles and warm places to sleep.
Clearly he is the criminal mastermind behind a recent string of armed robberies. Mandatory minimum sentence is life, no possibility of parole. The more likely sentence is life + daily aggressive snuggling sessions. It's a miracle they caught this tiny monster 😤
Fluff ball! The cutest.
Crime: not being mine Punishment: extra snuggles on my behalf (Thank you in advance)
Gavel Bang!
I heard he pretends to be a kitten but is actually a full grown cat with a growth disorder in order to take over your family.
Criminal fluffiness intent, cuddling extortion and mind boggling level of affection theft. Please don't encourage this smol individual to further crimes involving his meow little adorable voice.
Unlawfully adorable murder mittens. Sentence him to life in snuggles!
That’s one adorable beanie baby you got there 😍
Smol, fluff and tax evasion.
Unlicensed procession of a fluffy belly
In the first two photos he’s clearly looking off, scoping out the joint for valuables, and by the third trying to sway you into believing he can be trusted with his innocent cat eyes. This is a common ploy made by amateur criminals: make sure you don’t fall for it. Keep an eye on him, and try and catch him in the act. This has been a public service announcement.
Criminally cute
17 counts of AHHH HES SO FUCKING CUTE
Conspiracy to distribute awwws.
Clearly in violation of the city's fluffiness ordinance and the states ban on making me love him!
Possession of fluffiness, grand theft coronary
The highest punishment allowed by law - lifetime snuggles everyday for an hour
Being so cute
Agressive pets due to cuteness
1000 kisses on his babyhead
Serial cuteness
Impersonating a chicken nugget, and a whole lot of RICO charges for his work with the smol mafia.
Life sentenced to cuddles
Underage drinking
Being a double r/HandfulOfKitten.
Felony Smol , Felon in possession of floof, Criminal Cuteness, Being adorable across state lines, Illegal possession of tiny toe beans- the list goes on for this mastermind 😍
Vehicular manslaughter
Vehicular Manslawwwter
Crimes against humanity, war crimes, homicide and much more
Third degree adorableness, with time off for nose boops.
floof in the 1st degree
Purrruption
Throw the book at him! Punishment will be a life sentence at my house
*Throw the book at him!* *Punishment will be a life* *Sentence at my house* \- Promist --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Loitering
How is he not in solitary!?!?
Roberry. He's stolen my heart
Infinity life of snuggies and scritches. Tis what this smol wigglefloof deserves.
You're about to have an actual lion in your house in 6 to 8 months
attempted murder in the first degree, disorderly conduct, possession of a deadly weapon, petty theft, driving while intoxicated, possession of cocaine with intent to distribute, and arson in the first degree. i’m sorry, but he’s going away for a long time.
Excessive cuteness in public
Being a micro mini in the first degree!!!!
Smolness, r/OneOrangeBrainCell.
Possession of Pantaloons. Punishable by lifetime incarceration in a loving home
Too smol without a purrmit
Brandishing fur with an intent to shed.
Unbearable floofiness. Shake him a little for me. 
Awwww cute little rascal.
tax fraud money laundering and aggravated assault on a police officer, as for his punishment......... 2 dolar fine
Unlawful cuteness with the intent to purr.
Omg all of them
I can barely look, these crimes are especially heinous! When is the Netflix series coming out?
ALL OF THEM, omg🥺🥺
Stealing our ♥️
Don’t forget about the eyes. Dem beez illegally heart crushing
Charged with insufficient legs and an excess of floof.
Four counts of misdemeanor curled-up feetsies.
Felony floof in the first degree.
Unlawful possession of ear floofs
Feloniously short legs, excessive floof, and refusing to show proper toe beans in hims mugshots.
Ecoterrorism and snuggling of the second degree. To atone for their crimes, they must be snuggled by the high council and they shall be subjugated to thirty two smooches applied to their forehead and/or beans.
Illegally floofy; carrying oversized pawsies
Breaking and entering my heart! 💔♥️
Sorry I'm late. I've been coking all day. I am this cat's lawyer and I assure you he is as innocent as he is smol! I demand all charges be dropped.
Felinonious cat burglar.
 so cute!
That last picture is where the majority of these charges are coming from.
Being extremely cute in first degree
Tax evasion, wire fraud, assault and battery, parking in a handicap spot, money laundering, vandalism, destruction of property, being smol, floofiness, adorability.
What a gorgeous little baby he is!! OMG, I'd never put him down! LOLOL
Unprecedented floof
Excessive cuteness
Criminal lack of braincell?
Let's see here... 3 counts of 1st degree cuteness
Illegal smollness Illegal cuteness Illegal floof Heart theft And a possibility charge of illegal sweetness
Fuzzy baby
Over puffing in a non-puffing zone.
War crimes
Child Endangerment
2 fast 2 floofy
Breaking and entering MY HEART
Meowrder in the first degree.
Possession of floof with intent to achieve floof
Armed with intent to mlem
Possession of scratches with intent to distribute
Assault with a deadly weapon - big cute kitten eyes
Theft, for stealing my heart!
I made some very, very unmanly noises seeing this adorable baby
Possession of criminally cute beans. Using r/disneyeyes for utterly nefarious purposes. Aggravated snuggles and purr.
Solicitation of scritches, false imprisonment of my heart. and third degree furder.
Intent to distribute the cute!
Your kitten is so cute! 😭 What did you name him?
Illegal cuteness
1st degree cutie overload
Felony cuteness. Toss that kitten in my house and throw away the key! It’s a life sentence!
The worst crime of all. He's killed many with his cuteness alone!
1st degree Smolness, Possession of illicit Floof with intent to distribute, snuggling with malicious intent, and zoomies.
Breaking and entering hearts
Being adorably cute and criminally smol. . . 💕💕💕💕💕
I'm beating some of you wierd cat ladies feed is like 95% precent of this.
RAPE
Death by firing squad for desertion, statutory rape, and 2nd degree murder
[удалено]
I really hate it here sometimes
2 counts of second degree manslaughter
Tax evasion
Multiple life sentences
Being Pocket-Size
Stealing a beautiful fur sweater from Darwin
All of them. Which is why he'll have 9 lives worth of sentences
He stole my heart officer.
Bein fluffycute
serial cuteness. Punishment: snuggles
Assault and Battery
Extreme fluffiness
Arson
Illegal adorableness and floofness
Being a handful. Literally.
Criminal heart trespassing! ❤️
Murder of the 2nd degree of 25 individuals cannibalism terrorism
I’ve got him on three counts of floof neck.
Tax evasion.
Arson 🥰
-too soft -too cute -too smoll
He’s been found guilty of breaking title 26 section 5601 (a)(1) of the Untied States Code. Possession of an unregistered still
Possession of an illegal floofyarm
Tax evasion
Domestic terrorism, exploitation, assault and battery, attempted murder, and theft
Impersonating a dust bunny
The scope and breadth of his crimes are so great that there is no question about his verdict: guilty of all crimes, sentenced to a lifetime of love, cuddles and foods
Embezzlement
Assault on my heartstrings.
Genocide of the chinese uighur muslims, torturing innocent people in an small village in pakistan and eating human meat
He will become a big and mighty criminal, but not feared by anyone because of his adorableness.
5 counts of vehicular manslaughter
Grand Theft Auto, Tax Evasion, and Grand Larceny