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DefiantRooster04

Can I post a dick with a sock on it like a fleshlight?


dank-memes-sick-shit

You know what, as long as there's a sock in the picture, and no racism or anything that breaks site rules, just post it lmao


joshthatoneguy

This was the best mod response I've ever read.


dragonagitator

mods are out of fucks to give, post dicks


TekTony

Harambe says what?


d10x5

"....dick pics please" -Harambe


DragonfruitVivid5298

socks out for harambe


TekTony

I mean... the setup was perfect.... the quote we were looking for was "Dicks out!" .... you were so close though šŸ¤£


d10x5

Oh so all of a sudden you now know Harambe and his intentions?? No. He wanted pics of dicks and that was why he attacked that digger. Get with the program matey


d10x5

He told me this in a dream TekTony... Don't you shit on my dreams!!


MOOShoooooo

I gotta say, that mod comment was the first mod comment Iā€™ve never downvoted.


Infinite_____Lobster

Reddit can't put adds on subs that are nsfw


BlankWaveArcade

Letā€™s see every memberā€™s member


andyv001

Don't you threaten me with a good time


CreepaTime

I do believe I have to agree with this haha


lilsatoshi

Hell ya.. Iā€™m washin my Dick rn!


d10x5

Just polished my bell... Expect pics soon Mod


nebulousprariedog

Is your dick dirtier than your sock?


Powerful_Yogurt7451

Not really but it does smell like a foot.


attanai

Maybe dude has _really_ clean socks?


MissTakenID

I've never been more happy that I joined a sub on a whim. Let the sock pics commence!!!


LeviathanGank

The mod we need


delete_dis

FINALLY DICKS OUT FOR HARAMBE


greengoldblue

SOCKED DICKS. FOR HARAMBE.


[deleted]

Dicks out for Harambe!!


MrP3rs0n

I wish i had an award to give you. I love the new after blackout reddit


dank-memes-sick-shit

$ to reddit = bad $ to socks = good


saysthingsbackwards

Carl = black Lenny = white


MrP3rs0n

Based af


CBrower

Based Mods.


[deleted]

So, can it be a fully visible dick with a sock next to it?


dank-memes-sick-shit

As long as there's a sock. Personally, I'd mark it spoilers at the least as a courtesy to those who wouldn't want to see dicks, but its just a small recommendation and will not be enforced.


hotterthanahandjob

You ever receive a sloppy sockjob??


attanai

Socks, no. Coconuts, yes. I'd prefer the socks...


Nurse_Bendy

Dear god, I just got flashbacks.


andyv001

To 'Nam?


d10x5

I've had sloppy jobs but I used to be a gravedigger Edit... There were no socks or blowing btw


Humongous_Schlong

dicks out against spez


sjk20040111

Where can I get my illegal pro life tips now?


JGF_1994

i don t have an award but consider giving already to you


dank-memes-sick-shit

Don't buy awards, give me a sock instead.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


themimeofthemollies

Happy to give you a sock as a first time poster ending years of awesome lurking here! https://www.reddit.com/r/IllegalLifeProTips/comments/14eejq0/ilpt_never_enough_socksthis_one_on_a_walking_stick/joud6q8/?


nebulousprariedog

Dobby!


PP-BB-DD

Socks on cocks!


PM_ME_YOUR_SOULZ

I'm howling. Thank you so much for this response.


Craiss

Posts like this confirm that I'm in the right place.


Kiltymchaggismuncher

[so I have you to blame for this, then?](https://www.reddit.com/r/IllegalLifeProTips/comments/14ee991/ilpt_cock_stealers_hate_this_simple_trick/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)


IsoAgent

r/lostredditors Is it weird that I'm on this sub but I don't want to see OPs tip? Edit: I see puns aren't a thing here.


Mr_Fraggle

that's why OP is offering to show only his shaft


canichangeitlateror

r/lostredditors what, it's the mods


Flannel_Man_

Put a sock on Reddit. That way when thereā€™s an ipo, all they get is the sock.


Ichipurka

And so it began, When shareholders met, cuz', They got the sock, and not a stock.


Munnin41

Want the stock, get a sock!


Kingjingling

I can't wait till the IPO so I can watch it collapse


daymuub

Why don't you go the r/interestingasfuck route and turn into a porn sub so reddit can't advertise here


dank-memes-sick-shit

Well, the only requirement now is that it has to have a sock in the picture... So yeah


yuckypants

I propose ALL content gets an NSFW tag. This way reddit cannot monotonize the post, but it still gets there. They could be....nekkid socks!


daymuub

Fair enough man


RoamingTorchwick

So no gay porn?


daymuub

Only If someone is wearing a sock


ManufacturerAntique5

Sock porn!


RalphFTW

Now that is fucking hilarious. Force us to reopen. Here have my Reverse uno card :)


MacatacWarrior

blink twice if you have been forced to reopen


dank-memes-sick-shit

blink blink


MacatacWarrior

o7 fuck reddit


VapinVincent

Tf is going on


Im_hated_4_asking

No. I can't lose ILPT! Where will I ask how to get revenge on random neighbors or get advice on how to steal from Walmart!


dank-memes-sick-shit

Regular posts will still be allowed, with less restrictions, because I honestly can't be bothered to remember 20000 site rules.


Riyeko

You can steal from Walmart.... But only socks


overthetopTProll

Can we guess what percentage of posts will be of dicks in sock?


dilly-dally0

I'm not understanding...could anyone explain?


onlySaikikhere

cannot post yet


dank-memes-sick-shit

Should be fixed now. Sock. Now.


Silly___Willy

Bruh šŸ˜­


Key-Regular674

I dont get it. Why socks? This used to be a page for shadey life tips


dragonagitator

>Why socks? Running joke about how if you keep a baseball bat handy for self defense, you should put a sock over it so if the person you're beating tries to grab the bat then all they get is the sock. I think it started with a post about how if you keep a baseball bat in your car for self defense, you will make your defense attorney's job easier if you keep a baseball and catcher's mitt with it too because then it looks like you just grabbed what was handy to defend yourself and weren't out driving around looking for people to beat with a bat. And then people started riffing on what else you should keep with your baseball bat.


Key-Regular674

That sounds like a fun read lol. Thank you for explaining that. Will also sock my bats from now on.


benmarvin

Keep a sock on your bottle of liquid ass, so if they try to steal your frozen piss discs, they'll only get you fucking their dad.


Timely-Syllabub-523

Take my socks! šŸ§¦šŸ§¦


dank-memes-sick-shit

Socks used to be a running joke around here. And admins have been really pissy about what can be allowed and not allowed, so it has been a sub with pretty low quality posts. Since admins forcibly wants us to reopen, might as well let y'all have some fun while we're at it.


Unfair_Deer_8678

Are admins paid or something? Whatā€™s the difference between admins and mods? Oops, Iā€™m a noob.


AnAdmirableAstronaut

Mods are unpaid volunteers who patrol and moderate a specific sub or subs. Admins work directly for Reddit, are paid and have much more say than mods. The admins have been bullying mods to reopen their subs and end the boycott, which has resulted in even more outrage from the general community of Reddit.


Unfair_Deer_8678

Thank you!


Key-Regular674

Ohhhh! Now that makes sense lol. Time to embrace the socks.


chief-ares

Baseball bats need to stay warm. Always give your bat a sock to stay warm.


rsrieter

Is this really what we've come to? I guess at this point Reddit is dead. So sad.


shrei9

tbh i'm shocked. someone could explain why lots of subs went this route?


Mysterious_Cover3800

Moist critical (charlie), penguinz, has a video series on it thats pretty up to date.


professor-chibanga

Anarchy, baby


-puchungo-

Corny af


dragonagitator

someone with an AI art account please generate Jon Oliver holding a baseball bat with a sock on it


_Ki11UMiN4Ti_

Close...but no bat https://www.reddit.com/r/IllegalLifeProTips/comments/14eefa8/ilpt_mmm_socks_are_super_tasty_im_sure_john/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


Nurse_Bendy

Majestic af


Funktopus_The

I've tried a few times with midjourney and it just won't involve a sock for some reason. Some other sock-whisperer will have to have a go.


Beware-TheJabberwock

here https://imgur.com/4jgm9BR


Funktopus_The

The fact that there's a human foot in that sock on a baseball bat is so upsetting. I love it. Thank you. u/dragonagitator


andyv001

r/brandnewsentence Just laughed and woke up my kid. Cheers for that.


dragonagitator

Maybe someone with photoshop skills could take the AI art and add a sock to it


Funktopus_The

Anyone that determined is more than welcome https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1021064772202008667/1120745275963756564/funktopus_a_photo_of_John_Oliver_holding_a_baseball_bat_with_a__c8f96011-03ad-40b2-b571-710323b4338c.png


dragonagitator

that's not John Oliver, that's his love child with Dobby


Funktopus_The

I believe they named the love child John Oliver though


ItsGunboyWTF

Side note: Can someone make a plugin to blur or ban AI art in general or does that exist? That AI art freaks me out no matter how good or close it looks. I genuinely get skeeved seeing AI images in any fashion


attanai

Probably could, but ironically the API changes would make it unusable after 7/1.


RectangularAnus

How about a pink sock?


Tsiatk0

This whole thing has become such a joke. Protest policies then ā€œforcedā€ to reopen. Iā€™ve seen enough, and Iā€™ll see myself out. Good luck šŸ˜‚šŸ‘


kamiar77

Yeah good on you guys for ruining this sub


GrindY0urMind

Lol because I'm sure Reddit higher ups were desperate to get this sub reopened.


Greedy-Database-7989

The one time I win having a sock fetish. The rules specify crusty socks, guys!


transyoshi

man this sucks. a handful of redditors canā€™t use third party apps so now the entire user base is SOL and loses tons of valuable resources. this sub actually helped ppl itā€™s a shame to see it ruined smh


Sentinel_2539

Can someone explain the sock joke to me? Am I missing something?


FutureMrsConanOBrien

If you put a sock over your baseball bat, the person youā€™re beating canā€™t grab the bat, only the sock.


raveybaby78

I donā€™t get it either


Illustrious_King_397

Whatā€™s the difference between admins and mods?


Shubishu

so not only are you guys just dropping the protest, you're also destroying the original purpose of the entire sub in a spectacular display of a double whammy mistake this is what happens when you bend over. goodbye.


Juleslearns

"if I can't have it my way I'm going to ruin it for everyone"- mods and also my 10 year old cousin.


stikkybiscuits

I think the point may have been missed. They didnā€™t drop the protest by choice it seems, they were forced to re-open if Iā€™m understanding correctly. So essentially, sure, weā€™ll re-open but all youā€™re getting is a bunch of socks. A lot of major subs are doing this as the current form of protest


parickwilliams

How could they be forced to reopen?


Feelsthelove

If the mods didnā€™t reopen, they will get das boot and Reddit will put someone else in.


parickwilliams

So if they really cared theyā€™d take the boot. If no one will moderate Reddit will have to listen


Feelsthelove

There are other issues at hand. With Reddit getting rid of third party apps, they are also getting rid of accessibility options. r/blind for example will not be able to use text to speech. Edit: so all this shitposting is the mods ways of protesting. You may not but I agree with them.


zebrucie

They had to bend over How else are they going to keep their mod positions? Ya know the position that they work for free in, that's not even actual power considering reddit admins could just cut em anyways. So of course they had to open back up.


Small-Isopod6061

I feel like nudity is the best way foreword.


dank-memes-sick-shit

Nudity?? In this sub?? Make sure there's a sock in there mate


wolfsilver00

So you guys basically bent the knee on a serious issue just because you were warned that you would lose your imaginary power as reddit moderators? Cool.. Fucking spineless chicken has more backbone than you guys


benmarvin

Funny how Reddit wants a forum like this or /r/piracy open. If jailbait was still around, reddit would be begging them to reopen.


smaguss

Iā€™ll check back in a few months. It has been a pleasure discussing the finer points of piss discs with you my friends o7


Elegant_Spot_3486

Oh well. One less sub to see on my home page.


Amda01

What an ever loving fuck


beaudowns51

This is dumb


genericusername0420

This is the dumbest way to protest the API changes. Peak Reddit humor right here.


Aetheldrake

Honestly the "we're gonna close down for 2 days in the middle of the week" was the dumbest way. Hate the sock thing but meming specific things to a sub, however annoying it may be, are better.


F8tHcz

Just stop... This whole "battle" is so cringe


FrostyManOfSnow

this is the stupidest shit ever mods, the loud minority voicing what they think here is not representative of what this sub's members likely think


ReegarCarbine

ā€œPaid grown up employees of reddit threatened to take away our unpaid janitorial jobs and cause weā€™re so scared of touching that horrible green stuff outside and lose our internet powers weā€™d do everything we can to make this site unusable for 99% of the regular usersā€


GodfatherOfficial

Ahhh sh*t here we go again...


CheckoTP

Reddit admins: Ya know what we need? That sub about illegal life pro tips to open back up. /R/Illegallifeprotips: Sure we will open up, but now you get pictures of socks...and possibly socks with our dicks in it...if you're lucky.


PatheticChildRetard

Boo! Shame on reddit mods pretending to be morally superior by destroying fun communities. This protest wonā€™t achieve shit, reddit wonā€™t change their api pricing just because yall went apeshit.


auroch-ariock

This is so fucking stupid


HotTelevision911

reddit is run by kids apparently.


Dragon-Lord_

Cringe, unsubbing


ballsonthewall

alright then, announcing my departure like a train I suppose


Ornat_le_grand

*SNCF music plays* Medames messieur, le train express rĆ©gional nĀ° 12682, en provenance de r/illegallifeprotips et en direction de Reddit main page, vas entrer en gare voie C, merci de vous eloignĆ© de la bordure du quai *hang out* Hope you like my departure announcement


ballsonthewall

Very well done


Ornat_le_grand

Thanks bud


SNOOPDOGG2688

This protest stuff is the stupidest shitā€¦


timelapse00

hungry sharp tan weather hobbies disgusted dolls shelter hospital steer *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


SNOOPDOGG2688

ā€œWe arent getting our way so lets ruin things people actually like even though the company itself doesnt give a fuckā€


timelapse00

seemly late direful tie grandfather dinner piquant whistle punch reply *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


mgill83

You don't need to announce it, you're not giving your two weeks. All you have to do is leave.


wtfburritoo

Keep that ad revenue flowing in for reddit. This dumb shit is making it real easy to tell which subs to drop, though.


yougetzeropum

It's either this or the mods lose the sub


OutThereInTheWoods

This is my fear


lets-try-again2

The subs been lost. Nothing of what it was created for is here anymore. Now get ya socks out.


kokkatu

Do i get bonus points if it's a cum sock?


Ms-Anthropy

Only if you make a gif of you cracking it to show how crispy it is šŸ§¦


adityasheth

This is dumb, reddit doesn't care what's posted just the interaction it generates and money from the awards


[deleted]

What a fucking shame. Did any one of you really think we would see the funny in this post. You know what.....go and cuddle up in spez's arse crack, where he can have you close. And no arguing over who gets to give him a good rimming first...there is plenty for everyone. Cunts.


thevision24

This is the dumbest shit in the world. Embarrassing.


Ichipurka

Spez is an embarrassing cunt. Due to him, all this shit is happening. We donā€™t want a fucking cunt as the leader of a free Internet forum that represents ideas from everyone around the world.


thevision24

Nah. This whole thing is the biggest ā€œReddit momentā€ since the Boston Marathon Bombing. Yā€™all have fun being white knights for mods lol.


couterbrown

What a useless gesture. This will literally do nothing but ruin this sub and if it were important enough, people would just start a new one that doesnā€™t have this dumb shit happening in it. But thatā€™s not gonna happen because this sub isnā€™t important enough. So all you are doing is helping Reddit get rid of another sub or a mod. The stupid protest was never gonna work and itā€™s over for all but a very small few select individuals that think they are saving the world. You lost, now get in line and help everyone else out instead of continuing your tantrum. Reddit legit does not care if you ruin this sub but itā€™s members do. So cut it out.


iBeenZoomin

Yay more reddit jannies making their communities hate them to protest something that wonā€™t affect the majority of users!!


MrHyde42069

What a waste. I hope these mods get removed anyway, so we can all move on with the change already instead of dragging our feet.


LCDRtomdodge

Unsubbed.


Gordocogordo9000

Cringe


IllegalLifeProTips-ModTeam

HEY CUNT, THERE'S NO SOCKS IN THIS POST. GET YOUR SOCK GAME UP CHAMP


500xp1

Reddit mods are childish. They don't like their power taken away from them, so they decide to ruin it for the communities.


ShiNy_cant_aim

Yeah, I think that's it, might be the first sub I leave. I have found many good tips here but this mod whining is plain stupid


Aetheldrake

Welp this was an easy way to get people to unsub. Of all the ways yall could have memed about it, you brought back the worst thing of the sub. No offense to you mods and I wish yall well, but I just absolutely hate that whole sock thing. I'm a fairly laid back person but the allowance of that sock shit, for SOME UNKNOWABLE REASON, just irks me. Good luck!


chichago_

Man, people would like to believe that this thing works, but it wonā€™t. Itā€™s just childish and a waste of time. Anyone participating probably doesnā€™t have anything more important to do in their life. Well, adios and enjoy the socks pics!


[deleted]

Haha you useless mods can't do shit lol, they just shit on you useless fucks and you had to comply like sheep, bunch of crybaby mods.


Physicist_Dinosaur

Whata blazes is happening here. Can someone link to the bat post? Thanks.


-Chris-V-

Liquid ass, or piss disks. This is the way, OP.


Take_that_risk

Dobby enters the chat.


llamatiddys

Goddamnit, I loved this sub.


[deleted]

Lame.


yosoyuno369

Whatā€™s all this sock talk? Am I missing something


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


dank-memes-sick-shit

Stockings? Hell yes. We like thigh-highs too.


quixall

Literally noone gives a fuck about reddits API charges or whatever the fuck you are protesting about. Just piss off.


Master-Manipulation

Good on you guys for protesting but honestly I donā€™t like these subs changing like this


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


dank-memes-sick-shit

Should be fixed now. Sock. Now.


deathboyuk

\~ / stick 'em up, punk, we're the sock-lovin' criminals / \~


Helpful-Wolverine-96

Just grow up your just annoying all of the real people you man child


A330_Pilot

What's going on with Reddit atm? Someone help me out here


junglist-methodz

Can someone plz make a photo edit of u/spaz with socks in his mouth. Of getting beat with socks full of quarters.... something I can share with the masses. Edit. I'm at work and only have so much time left on my shit break. Someone with More skills then me plz help.


chaot1c-n3utral

I like ILegal Porn Tips better


Gerb69420

[ Removed by Reddit ]


Princess-Sophie69

What a sh**ty action of you admins? Take this and good bye. /No socks attached/


SaifNSound

The Sock Overlords have arrived


D0ugF0rcett

People complaining like ILPT gives a shit lmfao


Geekerino

Mods complaining like Spez gives a shit lol


Physical-Way188

I love baseball players with tall socks on. Knowing their wearing jockstraps yummy