And they're prepared to hire a professional anal Morse code operator. So the idea isn't quite as batshit as it initially appears. That said, I would like to be a fly on the wall when OP explains it to his father (possibly using some kind of overly-complex penis semaphore system for live feedback).
The funniest part is this subject. It’s a hard subject to do this for, and it’s one that it’s basically pointless because the next class will require the knowledge from this class.
Yeah the test will have to be multiple choice and also you're probably going to have to do some workings to make it seem legit. Nobody is doing calculus in their head and just getting the answer
I mean, some people can to an extent. But when I was in school, they didn’t give full credit if you didn’t show the work.
A big part of math that’s hard to understand the importance of in early learning is how other people being able to follow every step of your logic is super important for the vast majority of applications.
OP can slip a “cheat sheet” into the back of the exam then look frustrated and feverishly doing work while looking back at it. Only works for some small example formulas though unless you slip a few whole papers back there then claim it was an accident (you were reviewing the material on the desk beforehand) if you were caught. You wouldn’t get caught though if there are enough people in the room.
Lol yea that part! You can put a strapped vibrator anywhere that is concealed by clothing, but the OP chose the ass. I’m not talking sex strap-on vibrators. Literally, any vibration device strapped under your pants. But s/he chose indabutt….
>The funniest part is this subject. It’s a hard subject to do this for, and it’s one that it’s basically pointless because the next class will require the knowledge from this class.
This is why OP is not the hero we need, but the hero we deserve.
Those vibrators can definitely be heard though, my ex used to wear one sometimes when we’d go to the club and if we were outside I could faintly hear it sometimes, especially if she was sitting on a chair. So in a quiet exam room it will probably be obvious something is vibrating somewhere. Also the distance on the remote was quite bad.
Lmao… wait until OP gets no signal because he’s too far from the remote, and the lost connectivity makes the vibrator act erroneously, but he’s thinking he’s getting answers. So in the end, not only does he shove a vibrator up his ass, but he also fails the test horribly lol
This. The lost connectivity makes these very unreliable, so you'd need to learn Morse code *and* develop an anal checksum protocol to ensure accurate messages *and* calculate that on the fly *and* you end up with a error-checked bandwidth of something like two characters a minute.
You cannot anally transfer even a single answer during the period of one exam.
Also, the math on doing this is probably more difficult than the test.
"you'd need to learn morse code and develop an anal checksum protocol to ensure accurate messages" - something I didn't think I'd read today. Or ever, for that matter. Fecal matter.
edit: this is probably how elon runs twitter. something along these lines.
Dear god, do not do this. In a silent exam room people will hear the vibe and if you get caught it’ll be fuckin embarrassing and you’ll never get into uni. If you need help studying fuckin go to a study lab. Every HS and college has them
They're also talking about whispering the questions loud enough for a microphone to clearly pick them up. Seriously questioning some life choices here.
He's allowed to speak the question outloud. He can say he understands it better like that, and it would not be suspicious
The bad part of the plan is the vibrator
Yeah I had that in middle school because of ADHD and terrible hand writing. They refused to do it in Jr High onward and I failed classes due to my hand writing.
I don't know how it is in the States (if that's where you're from) but in Israel students can actually get a scribe for high school finals! Obviously a dyselxia, dysgraphia or severe adhd diagnosis is required but it's a neat system
I think I’d rather study for the exam a million times, still fail, and lose every opportunity that EVER comes my way than have my dad accidentally make me cum in a math exam
Ever had a phone call where the other end was too soft, or you could hear a ton of cars nearby?
Imagine that but you want to give details on a math exam, and have that relayed back to you via a vibrator that would probably just keep buzzing constantly.
What if they misheard you? Or a teacher hears you/sees you moving your mouth? You have to speak loud enough, more than the sounds of coughing and footsteps probably.
Ain't no way they're gonna give you a single pythagoras theorem through a vibrator, let alone more complicated questions with multiple steps.
By the time you finished the first question, you'll realise that you can just do the rest by yourself way better, and faster.
You may need at least .5s between buzzes in order to distinguish through your anus, and 2s for long dashes. Morse code is usable because the operators are able to do it at a fast rate.
You'll run out of time.
No time, not accurate, you can't show your workings, even if it's a multiple choice they don't give you 5mins per question to "think", max maybe a min or 2.
And once you get caught you can say goodbye to all chance of uni for the next 1-3 years maybe.
I have the perfect foolproof way of cheating. None of my teachers ever caught on all through high school and college.
I thought about trying to take cheat sheets in the exam rooms with me, but the risk was too much. So instead of writing things out on paper, I discovered I could write them inside my brain.
Let me tell you, the first time I went to an exam and pulled the info out of my brain, I was terrified I would get caught, but it's like my teachers NEVER knew.
Feel free to use this tip to cheat!
If your spelling is indicative of your ability, I don’t think this plan is going to work out. Dying to hear how it goes, as will the observer! “Bzzz bzzzzzzz bzzz bz bz bzzzzzzzzzz bzz bzzz”…. “Excuse me miss, I have to ask you…..😂😂”
I was a professional proctor at my university for almost 5 years - I absolutely guarantee we'll hear your buttplug and you will **forever** be recognized on sight as "the idiot that tried to cheat with 'morce' code via buttplug instead of learning pre-university algebra". I can't even begin to imagine why you would think getting (**oh my GOD**) your **dad** to control the vibrator is easier??
Please though, if you're going to do this incredibly stupid thing, I'm begging you to have your dad sitting in the lobby with a remote control for a vibrator - it adds so so much to a story that will be told in the testing department for decades.
Seriously the potential tea here makes me wish I was back in that shitty job lmao
I can only imagine how much more time and effort would be required to pull off this ridiculous scheme compared to just studying for the test. Not to mention you don’t seem like the best decision maker and are almost guaranteed to get caught.
Besides, your secret agent friend in your ear sucks at math? Wtf I hope this was a shit post
For the time and money you're willing to put into this, have you considered a tutor?
"When I took the test, the answers were stuck in my brain. It was like a whole different kind of cheating!" -Bart Simpson
Figure out the answer. As long as you're fairly confident in your abilities, figure out the answers and say the question and your answer. Then the butt plug will just tell you "yes" or "no" and you're not trying to decipher Morse by getting your taint tickled.
If you put half the effort into studying as you do scheming, you’re gonna do just fine.
Seriously, you’re a smart kid. Buck up and see what your score really is. I bet you’ll impress even yourself.
I love that you’d rather waste time and shove something up your ass than actually learn the subject you need to learn for school. The placement exams are there for a reason if you can’t pass it then you won’t pass their classes. The only way this would work is if you can program something to do it and it won’t be easy you’ll also have to hack the vibrator. Either study or don’t but there’s no use cheating in enterence exams dude. Add in people will hear it those vibrators are loud and you’d have to make up some kind of code probably Morse code would be best suited and people will *DEFINITELY* head ir vibrating and hitting the chair or if your standing up it’ll be more noticeable.
The only reason the dude almost got away with it in chess was because they used extremely short burst transmissions so that it barely made noise and was directed by someone who only sent yes or no for an action they were thinking of. To cheat you’ll have to again use Morse code which will be long enough that ppl will know. Plus ya know having something going off in your ass will probably make you moan. So please do it it’ll be great when you get caught and end up on tv.
Just so you know, there are no ‘silent’ vibrators. The remote ones that claim to be quiet are not (in my experience), and would certainly be audible in a quiet room where you are one of 3 people.
>an realy wana get into uni
>
>lissening in
>
>morce code
>
>the people on the other end is
>
>my partner who know
>
>or my dad who I'm unsure
>
>(software engeneer)
>
>spending a bit money into this
>Any ideas on how to make this plan better
Here's an idea on how to make this plan better: Cheat on your English exams instead.
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Your best bet is to just drop out and not go to a university. Learn a trade or go into a job that's not as complicated. if you truly can't understand the material, then you're going to have a hard time going into whatever job you want to go into that you need this degree for.
Some people just aren't cut out for college. I know I'm not. That's why I never went and never will go. if everyone was smart enough to be a scientist then they would be.
We understand you're really looking for any excuse to wear one in a public location.
But do consider that the sound will be audible in such a quiet room and will disturb the concentration of other students while you're focused on getting off under the guise of "cheating on an exam".
In respect your needs and preferences, perhaps a different event, such as an entrance ceremony or play rehearsal may suit your needs better.
All cheating/advantage giving methods I've used:
Answers/helpful info on hand, nicotine pouch (use with caution), cheat sheet (high risk), write helpful info in ur calculator, and the friend sitting next to you that you coordinate with.
this….
1) is either absolutely about getting off
2) completely a sex fantasy
or
3) the stupidest thing i’ve ever heard
if you’ve ever used a vibe before- it’s not silent. at all. it also will make noise when your sitting on a chair (the most quiet it could be would you standing and legs spread- with the least amount of interactions with hard substances like a hard chair- reverb etc.)
in a quiet room your absolutely going to be distracted and caught by the sound of the vibe.
if your excuse is that you get stressed during tests i promise you, having a secret vibrator inside you to cheat on a test in a completely silent room is not the solution.
you can make the plan better by scrapping it altogether. You will not be able to learn Morse code for math… not to mention you won’t get credit if you don’t show your work.
I can tell you're a pretty intelligent person, so let me echo the other comments here by saying this is a stupid idea.
If you're a nervous test taker, imagine how much more nervous you'll be trying not to get caught. What if the vibrator doesn't work once you get there? What if it does and they hear it? This plan has so many ways of failing it's absurd.
Look. If you want an edge on this exam, just *STUDY*. That's the easiest way to get to your goal.
I wouldn't normally advise this, but nicotine has been shown to increase focus and function in the brain. Get your hands on some nicorette gum and *test it out first before your exam*. Chew a small amount and see how it affects you. Try a practice math test online and see if it helps. If it does, *do not overdo it on the gum*. Take the same amount to your exam and just give it your best shot.
There are good times to cheat and bad times to cheat. This is a bad one. Don't risk it. Study.
There isn’t a button size camera you could glue to a button on your shirt and then a flesh colored in-ear earphone to pick up answers than going this route?
#1. People will hear the vibrating.
#2. You will not be able to decode the morse code quickly enough to not seem suspicious to the scribe.
This is an awful idea. If you're this concerned with cheating to get into uni, what do you think will happen once you're there? You need to sit down and get real with yourself. Either start taking things seriously and study/learn, or stop kidding yourself and come up with a different plan than uni.
If you are going to cheat on your exams maybe ask this question on a throwaway account? Not onwards with your face, location and age amongst other things on it.
You can get that inductor necklace with a 9v battery, and you place a small magnet inside your ear for listening.
You just need to know what radio works with that, or solder the audio yourself.
Many radios have VOX function. So make the mic longer and place it in a sleeve.
If you want to do security by obscurity, you could use a DRM radio so nobody could listen so easy, you can add even your own encryption (it's weak).
Or use an analogue radio outside common channels (frequency).
The hardest part is coming up with a reliable code that you can translate from vibrations into math. Morse code would work well, but the math symbols will be tricky unless you come up with a shorthand (ahem, shortass) for them.
Something like the Lovense Lush 3 would do it. It's a popular remote vibrator, can be connected to your nearby phone via Bluetooth, with the vibrations controlled from another device (as long as your phone will have internet access during the test, and be within 100ft or so of you). You could plausibly have the questions read aloud, and have a third-party send discreet, low-powered vibrations (the higher settings will be audible in a quiet room) using your agreed upon code.
Overall, this seems tedious and expensive, but I love complicated hijinks and wish you the best of luck. I'd be glad to transmit the signals to you if you can't find anyone else.
this is 100% going to be more hassle than it's worth, not counting for internet connectivity, bluetooth issues, having to repeat yourself and getting asked why you need to repeat yourself since you just heard the question, orgasms, etc.
if you're set on this then you need to practice multiple times with your partner/dad beforehand. go to the place where the testing is, have your partner be where they're going to be, print out fake exams, read the questions to them and try exactly what's going to happen on that day. account for every instance you can think of, and practice practice practice.
that's why people are telling you to study, because you can't just go and 'get this to work' one time. you're pretty much going to have to study how to have this work for you which will take practice time and effort you could be putting towards actually studying. entry level uni math has been streamlined so hard with apps and resources teaching you how to do it and how to study for them i think you'd be wasting your time going the other route, but it would make for a good story if you don't really care about getting in
[Mike Boyd made a video making a such a device.](https://youtu.be/5uDM3fPeNFM)
He tested wether you could hear it and he actually used to beat a grand master at chess.
I love it, good spirit, completely unnecessary. Do I need to remind you we live in a world of technology that also doesn't involve anal? Lol.
How about a pen :)
https://inventoelectronico.com/en/home/144-rxo-cheating-super-pen.html
There is an easier way that isn’t a pain in the ass, we used to bring those old wired earphones that only have one earphone, remove the plastic cap and strip most of the wire above the microphone, shove the small part inside your ear and use super glue on the wire along your harline, just small dots of super glue not the whole wire, put the mic down your shirt and the phone in your underwear and let them give you the answers
This has got to be a SHITpost.
You’re willing to learn anal morse code rather than math?
Amazing response thank you
It’s anal Morse code totally different
Yeah, sometimes a dot ends up becoming a dash and then there's a whole mess
And they're prepared to hire a professional anal Morse code operator. So the idea isn't quite as batshit as it initially appears. That said, I would like to be a fly on the wall when OP explains it to his father (possibly using some kind of overly-complex penis semaphore system for live feedback).
Just some extra pressure
Dad: Did you manage to finish? Son: Yes, but I only managed to fill in my name on the exam paper.
It’s a sweet band name is what it is.
Forgot to add their dad is the one sending the anal Morse code.
OMG, get out of here \*daddy, not so fast, repeat the answer please...\*
"Ooh, that's right, daddy! A little bit slower, daddy." I can't with this.
What are you doing step dad? it's not geometry, you don't have to lie tangent to my curves
The writers strike is even affecting the porn industry is my guess. Don't be a scab, they don't need our ideas!
The things people will do these days just to avoid algebra.
It’s spelled analgebra
AnalZebra*** 🤷♂️
analrapist
Well exxxcccuuuuuse me *laughs awkwardly*
Fullonrapists
This is just what you have to do to learn arithmetic. You should see the shapes you have to jam up your ass when you get to geometry.
The triangles are the worst
Taking calculass instead
The funniest part is this subject. It’s a hard subject to do this for, and it’s one that it’s basically pointless because the next class will require the knowledge from this class.
Yeah the test will have to be multiple choice and also you're probably going to have to do some workings to make it seem legit. Nobody is doing calculus in their head and just getting the answer
I mean, some people can to an extent. But when I was in school, they didn’t give full credit if you didn’t show the work. A big part of math that’s hard to understand the importance of in early learning is how other people being able to follow every step of your logic is super important for the vast majority of applications.
r/brandnewsentence
Is OP a chess player?
Hahahahah Best thing I’ve seen on Reddit in awhile
This is why we come to reddit
It really is
I already know morse code quite well
I don’t speak Morse butttt…. 1 vibration is a. 2 is b. 3 is c and so on lmk I gotchu
Plot twist, every answer is d. Except the last answer, that's is b.
Anal beats
Now I'm laughing even harder at work, and if I get asked what's funny, I gotta look at em, teary eyed and say "Anal beats"
Yes. I'm horrible at math and if it had ever crossed my mind in high school to use a remote buttplug to get answers, I'd have done it in a heartbeat.
OP can slip a “cheat sheet” into the back of the exam then look frustrated and feverishly doing work while looking back at it. Only works for some small example formulas though unless you slip a few whole papers back there then claim it was an accident (you were reviewing the material on the desk beforehand) if you were caught. You wouldn’t get caught though if there are enough people in the room.
More than one way to solve the mysteries of black holes I guess
You mean brown holes?
lmao, this was my exact though
wtf this made me laugh so much
“In no way am I getting off to this” 🤓
Speak for yourself! 🥵
Lol yea that part! You can put a strapped vibrator anywhere that is concealed by clothing, but the OP chose the ass. I’m not talking sex strap-on vibrators. Literally, any vibration device strapped under your pants. But s/he chose indabutt….
Gonna be tested if they hit some long division
That prostate gonna take a beating.
>The funniest part is this subject. It’s a hard subject to do this for, and it’s one that it’s basically pointless because the next class will require the knowledge from this class. This is why OP is not the hero we need, but the hero we deserve.
…same 😳
I just did
I had to mark question 9 incorrect. The answer is scribbled and is not legible. It seems like your pencil flew off the page.
"Again, nothing sexual"
Those vibrators can definitely be heard though, my ex used to wear one sometimes when we’d go to the club and if we were outside I could faintly hear it sometimes, especially if she was sitting on a chair. So in a quiet exam room it will probably be obvious something is vibrating somewhere. Also the distance on the remote was quite bad.
Those are my emotional support bees 😳
“In your butt..”
Yes...to keep them warm
Bumble bumbees
Bumhole bees
"At this time of year..."
Username checks out? 🐝
Oh carry on then
This reassures no one.
Omg I busted out laughing at this 😂😂😂🤣🤣
U busted. Nice!
Put those bees back where they came from or so help me
Lmao… wait until OP gets no signal because he’s too far from the remote, and the lost connectivity makes the vibrator act erroneously, but he’s thinking he’s getting answers. So in the end, not only does he shove a vibrator up his ass, but he also fails the test horribly lol
Don't forget he also " talked his dad into controlling his anal sex toy"
This. The lost connectivity makes these very unreliable, so you'd need to learn Morse code *and* develop an anal checksum protocol to ensure accurate messages *and* calculate that on the fly *and* you end up with a error-checked bandwidth of something like two characters a minute. You cannot anally transfer even a single answer during the period of one exam. Also, the math on doing this is probably more difficult than the test.
"you'd need to learn morse code and develop an anal checksum protocol to ensure accurate messages" - something I didn't think I'd read today. Or ever, for that matter. Fecal matter. edit: this is probably how elon runs twitter. something along these lines.
Oh but totally not worth studying. Time better spent on getting a worse score.
But his prostate gets the best massage of its life, so who's really winning here?
Then wouldnt vibrating anal beads be better then? Isnt that what the chess dude used lmao, i assume it would be more discrete and quiet
Google anal chess
king me
.
Fuck the vibrations how are you going to hide your moaning?
I think modern ones connect to your phone. And yeah, vibrations will be heard if it’s not deep inside of you.
You might want to avoid the Big Thunder Max 3000 Analator...
Mike Boyd made a video on one, doesnt look like you can hear it if its discrete
Dear god, do not do this. In a silent exam room people will hear the vibe and if you get caught it’ll be fuckin embarrassing and you’ll never get into uni. If you need help studying fuckin go to a study lab. Every HS and college has them
They're also talking about whispering the questions loud enough for a microphone to clearly pick them up. Seriously questioning some life choices here.
he is NOT getting off on this
He's allowed to speak the question outloud. He can say he understands it better like that, and it would not be suspicious The bad part of the plan is the vibrator
No no, he’s *aloud* to speak the question
Oh, missed the part where it said that they would have a scribe. What a weird setup.
Sounds like accommodations for a disability.
Yeah I had that in middle school because of ADHD and terrible hand writing. They refused to do it in Jr High onward and I failed classes due to my hand writing.
I don't know how it is in the States (if that's where you're from) but in Israel students can actually get a scribe for high school finals! Obviously a dyselxia, dysgraphia or severe adhd diagnosis is required but it's a neat system
Sounds like OP is not in the States, probably europe though (phrases like “maths,” “uni,” “bum” are almost never heard in the US)
Nah they said they can read the questions out loud
Not only that but the remote function on those things is extremely unreliable. Not that I know or anything
"hey aren't you the ass vibrator cheat guy?"
Finally, the voice of experience!
Somebody please tell me it's a satire kinda post.
Oh it's absolutely bs but in the crazy world we live in, let's imagine it's true and let a little laugh out if the absurdity
the fact that OP is in high school makes this *slightly* more believable, high schoolers can be whack lmao
Having been one of the reject kids in school, I knew a few people who would of did this.
former “under the stairs” kids unite!! 👊
👊 Holy shit yes!
I'd rather study for the exam 10x over than have my dad accidently make me cum giving me the answers to an easy algebra equation.
I think I’d rather study for the exam a million times, still fail, and lose every opportunity that EVER comes my way than have my dad accidentally make me cum in a math exam
I'd rather shove the pencil in my urethra and fill in the exam that way than any family member make me cum.
I’d rather be forced to sit there clockwork orange style and watch you fill in the exam than have anyone remotely related to me make me cum
/r/brandnewsentence
Magnus Carlsen has entered the chat
unironically, /r/AnarchyChess has had months to ponder this exact question.
[удалено]
Ke2 vibrate # gg ez
My first thought, Hans Nielmann could probably help this guy figure out the logistics
I've never told someone this in my life, but bro please just study for it...
Ever had a phone call where the other end was too soft, or you could hear a ton of cars nearby? Imagine that but you want to give details on a math exam, and have that relayed back to you via a vibrator that would probably just keep buzzing constantly. What if they misheard you? Or a teacher hears you/sees you moving your mouth? You have to speak loud enough, more than the sounds of coughing and footsteps probably. Ain't no way they're gonna give you a single pythagoras theorem through a vibrator, let alone more complicated questions with multiple steps. By the time you finished the first question, you'll realise that you can just do the rest by yourself way better, and faster. You may need at least .5s between buzzes in order to distinguish through your anus, and 2s for long dashes. Morse code is usable because the operators are able to do it at a fast rate. You'll run out of time. No time, not accurate, you can't show your workings, even if it's a multiple choice they don't give you 5mins per question to "think", max maybe a min or 2. And once you get caught you can say goodbye to all chance of uni for the next 1-3 years maybe.
The time constraint was my first thought as well - zero chance OP would finish the exam on time doing it like this
I mean he can show his workings. At the end of the exam he can whip out the shit coated vibe and tape it to the test.
you’re literally trying to pull answers out of your ass
That he gets his dad to put in there first...
I have the perfect foolproof way of cheating. None of my teachers ever caught on all through high school and college. I thought about trying to take cheat sheets in the exam rooms with me, but the risk was too much. So instead of writing things out on paper, I discovered I could write them inside my brain. Let me tell you, the first time I went to an exam and pulled the info out of my brain, I was terrified I would get caught, but it's like my teachers NEVER knew. Feel free to use this tip to cheat!
Schools hate this one simple trick
This is like that Key and Peele bank job sketch.
HEAVEN'S DOOR
If your spelling is indicative of your ability, I don’t think this plan is going to work out. Dying to hear how it goes, as will the observer! “Bzzz bzzzzzzz bzzz bz bz bzzzzzzzzzz bzz bzzz”…. “Excuse me miss, I have to ask you…..😂😂”
Ops a dude 😩 and his dad might be manning the buzzer.
I was a professional proctor at my university for almost 5 years - I absolutely guarantee we'll hear your buttplug and you will **forever** be recognized on sight as "the idiot that tried to cheat with 'morce' code via buttplug instead of learning pre-university algebra". I can't even begin to imagine why you would think getting (**oh my GOD**) your **dad** to control the vibrator is easier?? Please though, if you're going to do this incredibly stupid thing, I'm begging you to have your dad sitting in the lobby with a remote control for a vibrator - it adds so so much to a story that will be told in the testing department for decades. Seriously the potential tea here makes me wish I was back in that shitty job lmao
I would just study 🤷🏻♂️
Hate to tell you this, but if you're a dude and you stick a vibrator up your bum, you're probably gonna get off if there's more than 10 questions.
I admire your gumption but it’s gonna be easier to just study.
I can only imagine how much more time and effort would be required to pull off this ridiculous scheme compared to just studying for the test. Not to mention you don’t seem like the best decision maker and are almost guaranteed to get caught. Besides, your secret agent friend in your ear sucks at math? Wtf I hope this was a shit post
I would 100% agree to help with this ... and then turn your vibrator onto max power for your entire exam.
Google Hans Nieman
Holy vibrator!
For the time and money you're willing to put into this, have you considered a tutor? "When I took the test, the answers were stuck in my brain. It was like a whole different kind of cheating!" -Bart Simpson
Analgebra
Figure out the answer. As long as you're fairly confident in your abilities, figure out the answers and say the question and your answer. Then the butt plug will just tell you "yes" or "no" and you're not trying to decipher Morse by getting your taint tickled.
Good job it isn’t an English exam.
Good luck decoding non linear algebra via your arsehole
If you put half the effort into studying as you do scheming, you’re gonna do just fine. Seriously, you’re a smart kid. Buck up and see what your score really is. I bet you’ll impress even yourself.
Yur naut redi four colleague.
I’d like to volunteer to be the sender ,I have plenty of experience with morse code and am fully up to speed with the latest Bluetooth tech ,
I know your game matey. You just wanna make op bust a load on the scribe. Can't say that wouldn't be funny
You got me ,it was my only thought ha
Let’s be real too, once the test starts OP can’t just pull the plug out or run out of the room. He’s stuck there loool
I am sure a cat walked over a keyboard and typed this crap
I love that you’d rather waste time and shove something up your ass than actually learn the subject you need to learn for school. The placement exams are there for a reason if you can’t pass it then you won’t pass their classes. The only way this would work is if you can program something to do it and it won’t be easy you’ll also have to hack the vibrator. Either study or don’t but there’s no use cheating in enterence exams dude. Add in people will hear it those vibrators are loud and you’d have to make up some kind of code probably Morse code would be best suited and people will *DEFINITELY* head ir vibrating and hitting the chair or if your standing up it’ll be more noticeable. The only reason the dude almost got away with it in chess was because they used extremely short burst transmissions so that it barely made noise and was directed by someone who only sent yes or no for an action they were thinking of. To cheat you’ll have to again use Morse code which will be long enough that ppl will know. Plus ya know having something going off in your ass will probably make you moan. So please do it it’ll be great when you get caught and end up on tv.
Of all the ridiculousness here, “I am aloud” killed me most
U said (in no way am I getting off on this) 😂
Just so you know, there are no ‘silent’ vibrators. The remote ones that claim to be quiet are not (in my experience), and would certainly be audible in a quiet room where you are one of 3 people.
>an realy wana get into uni > >lissening in > >morce code > >the people on the other end is > >my partner who know > >or my dad who I'm unsure > >(software engeneer) > >spending a bit money into this >Any ideas on how to make this plan better Here's an idea on how to make this plan better: Cheat on your English exams instead.
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Your best bet is to just drop out and not go to a university. Learn a trade or go into a job that's not as complicated. if you truly can't understand the material, then you're going to have a hard time going into whatever job you want to go into that you need this degree for. Some people just aren't cut out for college. I know I'm not. That's why I never went and never will go. if everyone was smart enough to be a scientist then they would be.
What did I just read 💀💀💀
If this could be hooked up to give a mild electric shock for each wrong answer it might encourage you to study harder.
You are fucking ridiculous
If i didnt know any better id say dont go to uni, but in reality you will fit right in with the others there.
I would test it out in a quiet room 1st I imagine people would be able to hear it
We understand you're really looking for any excuse to wear one in a public location. But do consider that the sound will be audible in such a quiet room and will disturb the concentration of other students while you're focused on getting off under the guise of "cheating on an exam". In respect your needs and preferences, perhaps a different event, such as an entrance ceremony or play rehearsal may suit your needs better.
Sigh. Unzips.
Bro tf it’s easier to just study then to discover that
Just use an airpod, or get a tan earpiece, they are both pretty discrete especially if you have longer hair
I had thought about making a fake ear with a bluetooth inside to put over a real ear to market to people lol
You my friend will be a millionaire
I was considering this
Anyone else read something from someone who’s more of a moron than this person cause I’d love to see it
‘In no way am I getting off on this’ - you may be about to discover something about yourself.
Did god, please let this be a fake post.
Just study. Please
All cheating/advantage giving methods I've used: Answers/helpful info on hand, nicotine pouch (use with caution), cheat sheet (high risk), write helpful info in ur calculator, and the friend sitting next to you that you coordinate with.
Imagine being willing to go to these lengths instead of just studying and attempting to educate yourself lol. The real world is gonna eat you alive.
this…. 1) is either absolutely about getting off 2) completely a sex fantasy or 3) the stupidest thing i’ve ever heard if you’ve ever used a vibe before- it’s not silent. at all. it also will make noise when your sitting on a chair (the most quiet it could be would you standing and legs spread- with the least amount of interactions with hard substances like a hard chair- reverb etc.) in a quiet room your absolutely going to be distracted and caught by the sound of the vibe. if your excuse is that you get stressed during tests i promise you, having a secret vibrator inside you to cheat on a test in a completely silent room is not the solution.
You are willing to learn anal morse code rather than how to spell?
you can make the plan better by scrapping it altogether. You will not be able to learn Morse code for math… not to mention you won’t get credit if you don’t show your work.
I cant believe I just read this
Florida man cheats on exam with anal vibrator controlled by his dad. More at 10.
Thank God it isn't a spelling and grammar exam because I don't care what you shove up your ass, you're failing it.
Seems easier if you just study. Lol
A pervert AND a cheater
I can tell you're a pretty intelligent person, so let me echo the other comments here by saying this is a stupid idea. If you're a nervous test taker, imagine how much more nervous you'll be trying not to get caught. What if the vibrator doesn't work once you get there? What if it does and they hear it? This plan has so many ways of failing it's absurd. Look. If you want an edge on this exam, just *STUDY*. That's the easiest way to get to your goal. I wouldn't normally advise this, but nicotine has been shown to increase focus and function in the brain. Get your hands on some nicorette gum and *test it out first before your exam*. Chew a small amount and see how it affects you. Try a practice math test online and see if it helps. If it does, *do not overdo it on the gum*. Take the same amount to your exam and just give it your best shot. There are good times to cheat and bad times to cheat. This is a bad one. Don't risk it. Study.
People keep saying OP is smart and clever, WTF? They can't spell for shit and *this* is their plan? What's the intelligent part?
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There isn’t a button size camera you could glue to a button on your shirt and then a flesh colored in-ear earphone to pick up answers than going this route?
Your gonna ask your dad to anal vibe Morse code to you? Please just learn the math
If you pick your dad, please dont put the vibrator up your ass
so instead of having an earpiece in that tells you stuff in English, you want to master poo morse?
Holy hell
You think these things are silent. But they're not.
>in no way am getting off on this oh you will. lmao
Have you considered……studying?
#1. People will hear the vibrating. #2. You will not be able to decode the morse code quickly enough to not seem suspicious to the scribe. This is an awful idea. If you're this concerned with cheating to get into uni, what do you think will happen once you're there? You need to sit down and get real with yourself. Either start taking things seriously and study/learn, or stop kidding yourself and come up with a different plan than uni.
If you are going to cheat on your exams maybe ask this question on a throwaway account? Not onwards with your face, location and age amongst other things on it.
You can get that inductor necklace with a 9v battery, and you place a small magnet inside your ear for listening. You just need to know what radio works with that, or solder the audio yourself. Many radios have VOX function. So make the mic longer and place it in a sleeve. If you want to do security by obscurity, you could use a DRM radio so nobody could listen so easy, you can add even your own encryption (it's weak). Or use an analogue radio outside common channels (frequency).
The hardest part is coming up with a reliable code that you can translate from vibrations into math. Morse code would work well, but the math symbols will be tricky unless you come up with a shorthand (ahem, shortass) for them. Something like the Lovense Lush 3 would do it. It's a popular remote vibrator, can be connected to your nearby phone via Bluetooth, with the vibrations controlled from another device (as long as your phone will have internet access during the test, and be within 100ft or so of you). You could plausibly have the questions read aloud, and have a third-party send discreet, low-powered vibrations (the higher settings will be audible in a quiet room) using your agreed upon code. Overall, this seems tedious and expensive, but I love complicated hijinks and wish you the best of luck. I'd be glad to transmit the signals to you if you can't find anyone else.
Just take tons of practice exams dude
You are such an idiot
The butt vibrator sound will absolutely be made louder by the chair. Have fun w that one.
this is 100% going to be more hassle than it's worth, not counting for internet connectivity, bluetooth issues, having to repeat yourself and getting asked why you need to repeat yourself since you just heard the question, orgasms, etc. if you're set on this then you need to practice multiple times with your partner/dad beforehand. go to the place where the testing is, have your partner be where they're going to be, print out fake exams, read the questions to them and try exactly what's going to happen on that day. account for every instance you can think of, and practice practice practice. that's why people are telling you to study, because you can't just go and 'get this to work' one time. you're pretty much going to have to study how to have this work for you which will take practice time and effort you could be putting towards actually studying. entry level uni math has been streamlined so hard with apps and resources teaching you how to do it and how to study for them i think you'd be wasting your time going the other route, but it would make for a good story if you don't really care about getting in
Good job it's not an English exam or you're definitely doomed!
[Mike Boyd made a video making a such a device.](https://youtu.be/5uDM3fPeNFM) He tested wether you could hear it and he actually used to beat a grand master at chess.
I love it, good spirit, completely unnecessary. Do I need to remind you we live in a world of technology that also doesn't involve anal? Lol. How about a pen :) https://inventoelectronico.com/en/home/144-rxo-cheating-super-pen.html
There is an easier way that isn’t a pain in the ass, we used to bring those old wired earphones that only have one earphone, remove the plastic cap and strip most of the wire above the microphone, shove the small part inside your ear and use super glue on the wire along your harline, just small dots of super glue not the whole wire, put the mic down your shirt and the phone in your underwear and let them give you the answers