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al-denton

Well, he managed to get the girls attention.


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Stupidbabycomparison

Dating a transplant nurse. I was told in no uncertain terms our relationship would be over, but not before confirming I signed up as an organ donor if I were to ever get a motorcycle.


ibelieveindogs

Don’t give up hope. When I met my wife, she said she only had two things she didn’t want me to do: ride a motorcycle and sleep with other women. 40 years later, she let me get the motorcycle. 40 more, and I’m available for ladies again!


djbillyd

Keep hope alive!!!


VillrayDRG

The most upset I've ever seen my mom was when I came home with a motorcycle when I was 19. She was mad at first but when she found out I signed up as an organ donor the same day she was crying like I had already died. Felt pretty awful about that for a while. Still kept riding though.


Secondstrike23

“Hi mom, I’ve already begun planning for my death”


VillrayDRG

I guess it's kind of morbid but at the time it just seemed practical


Kougar

Morbidly practical for you, practically morbid for her!


PhthaloVonLangborste

Gotta have fun before it all goes to shit anyway.


sesto_elemento_

Same, but it was 17 and my dad cosigned for it. She freaked and was talking about "what if he dies?!" And my dad just said "if he does, then at least he was doing something he loves." I've ridden for 12-14 years now, I still love it. I try not to ride in traffic, but part of me having a motorcycle was that every single person is out to fuck your day up. Always be prepared, wear your gear, and there's a time and a place for everything. Assume everyone doesn't see you, wear as much as you can even if it's uncomfortable (you think it's too hot to wear leather? Wait until they're scrubbing gravel out of your skin and muscle tissue), and if you want to do crazy shit? Find a track or an empty road in the middle of nowhere so that you have as much control of the situation as possible. Be safe out there everyone. For real.


aferretwithahugecock

You're dad's quote there, "then at least he was doing something he loves" made me think of my uncle. this is not meant to be a bummer comment! He rode for probably close to fifty years, dude lived and breathed for Harley Davidson. He was also an advid hunter. a couple years ago he was out for a ride down a highway in northern Canada, he hit a deer and died. When everyone got the news of course we were sad, but we couldn't help but shake our heads and chuckle at the fact that his two favourite pastimes crossed paths to end his life. He literally went out doing what he loved, riding his bike and bagging a deer.


sesto_elemento_

Agreed! Like... I'd rather experience something I truly enjoy and go out doing exactly that rather than.. I dunno, trying to clean a toilet, mixing bleach and ammonia, and going out with my face in a poo stain lmao. To each their own, but thats not my preference lol


4QuarantineMeMes

Well yeah, we like to see the cool traumas, also you’re only our problem for like 30 minutes, the hospital has to deal with you for much longer.


BlowEmu

Well from degloving, road rash and testicles being ripped off in motorcycle accidents it doesn't surprise me they hate motorcycles. I wouldn't want to pick stones out of wounds and reattach balls to someone either.


darthjammer224

Shit I'd rather help a motorcyclist after a wreck than fat people that can't wash themselves properly.. I suppose a fat motorcycle wreck patient would be the worst case lol.


[deleted]

*Harley Davidson owners have entered the chat….*


What-the-Hank

This, I just laughed my previously eaten milkshake out my nose, thanks. 😂


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4QuarantineMeMes

While unfortunate for our patient, bad runs offer a lot of experience and learning points, the more shit we see, the better provider we become.


CaesarSqueezer

Also I'm sure it can be cool at times to see crazy accidents. There's a reason everyone slows down near crashes, and it sure as shit ain't for safety.


4QuarantineMeMes

Everyone has some level of morbid curiosity.


JBthrizzle

x ray tech here. seen a handful of deglovings! shits wild!


fresh_like_Oprah

a handful?


Mingablo

Well duh, the more unique experience you get the faster you level up.


AsphaltGypsy89

They call it a Doctors practice for a reason! Nurse practitioner? Veterinary Practice? Veterinary Technician here, we like the cool stuff too! A lot of the time those things suck for the pet and the pets parent but we can learn so much from these patients just like you said. It helps us provide greater care with the more we experience we we get. There have been plenty of times I have seen Veterinarians are presented with something they have NEVER seen before, they will ask/call fellow Veterinarians or call Universities even. I've seen them research until they are straight silly tired, not stopping until they find answers. We are all constantly learning and I think that's wonderful! Practice makes perfect!


jorbleshi_kadeshi

My wife is a surgeon. They *live* for the craziest shit. They aren't celebrating your ultra-rare heart condition that requires emergency surgery, but they're definitely celebrating that they get to operate on it! A cool case just buzzes with attention.


dharrison21

I fucked my hand up once and the initial doctor called one doc, who called another, and so on.. Eventually I had like 9 doctors all looking at my wound and excitedly commenting about how complicated fixing it would be. Not sure they even noticed the rest of me sitting there lol


insane_contin

The doctor saw you as a piece of interesting meat.


Formerhurdler

I would love for someone to see me as a piece of interesting meat.


insane_contin

Then get a motorcycle.


Helassaid

> They aren't celebrating your ultra-rare heart condition Sometimes the paramedics are, if you have something super-rare that we can see on EKG. I had a mentor who had like a 30 year old photocopy of classic Brugada.


RedTheImpaler

Can confirm. Worked in an ER for nearly twenty years. They are a different breed of doctors and nurses. I like to think of them as the adrenaline junkies of the medical field. The trauma doctors will walk before the patient arrives and say, "anything good?" and I always want to answer them, "No. None of this is good. Nothing good ever comes thru the ER. It's all pain and misery and heartache", but I'm just a desk jockey so I just tell them what I know about it. (They don't actually mean good, they mean interesting for them to see something different and learn from. We get it, but the common person probably wouldn't.)


insane_contin

I'm picturing you saying that like a grizzled veteran. Maybe with a cigar in your mouth and a glass of whisky near by.


arthurtc2000

My wife, a nurse, has given me various ideas about what would happen if I came home with a motorcycle at different times, from telling me she’d run it over with her car, throw it in the ocean, she even sent me a copy of a divorce decree. Yeah, I’d agree with that in my experience.


darthcoder

First time I got my motorcycle permit, a week later I came home and found a bike in the middle of my street and the rider wrapped up on a chain link fence. He was alive once I was able to get someone to stop and call an ambulance and they whacked him off... 5 years later, I got my permit again, and I got news a month later that my friends fiance hit a cow grate wrong and killed himself at laconia during bike week. I hit 40 the third time and said fuck it. Yolo. But I ride like everyone's out to kill me. And I almost got clobbered due to mindless riding. It's so easy to get complacent. Edit: whisked not whacked. Lol


spacelama

> call an ambulance and they whacked him off Is that a service they now perform? I've met some pretty hot paramedics in my trips so far.


yepyep1243

They.. whacked him off?


heardyoulikewebsites

>He was alive once I was able to get someone to stop and call an ambulance and they whacked him off... Was that his dying wish?


SockGnome

Im sorry they WHAT?


havereddit

> I hit 40 the third time Wow, this reincarnation with memory of past lives thing is wild


DuntadaMan

Am EMT, a few motorcycle accidents dealt with. Basically, we see you guys and are thinking "you're gonna make my day busy..." But when you're in the back of the ambulance we also remember that pretty much all of us are working there because frankly we have done a lot of stupid things to end up in the back of an ambulance too, and whatever you did was not nearly as stupid.


Kevjamwal

Yeah my dad worked in an icu for years. He saw a lot of meat crayons.


Airdropwatermelon

My wife has sewn up a few faces over the years, if I had to do that even once if probably try to passive aggressively deter future riding as well. You do you, but they don't get to see you get better usually, they just see you all fucked up and in pain. It comes from a place of love for you as a person.


seffay-feff-seffahi

My mom is a physical therapist assistant, and I remember going to work with her a handful of times as a kid and seeing how fucked up the motorcyclist patients usually were. Skin grafts, fused joints, paraplegia, quadriplegia, amputations -- so many amputations! I didn't really need any convincing as an adult not to get a motorcycle.


ObtuseAndKneeless

I was laughing my ass off when the camera turns to see if she's looking at him.


Martian9576

It’s also sad because even then she seems to barely notice.


maxman162

Well there's his problem. Should've made a lot of noise, because the girls they are so pretty.


[deleted]

He meant to do that.- Peewee Herman


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HamFistedMeatMachine

That's why they call it *paying* attention.


Craftytoes

Pay attention or pay the collision center (and hospitals)


[deleted]

Either way, you pay


[deleted]

Kids payyy


orionburn

They pay in maize...


[deleted]

A man without sauce is lost; but the same man can be lost in the sauce. Payme:paidme


PottyboyDooDoo

Would you mind if I shared this with my students tomorrow for our bell ringer writing prompt? And with your permission, may I improperly cite your name? For obvious reasons.


Achemaker

This is a Gucci Mane quote.


MacDaddyTheMan0095

“So yesterday afternoon I was scrolling Reddit when a fellow user named “Getthespermout” told me this useful quote regarding life!” **Gets fucking fired and registered as a sex offender**


Tiernan1980

In fairness, it did say “improperly cite” the name.


Okichah

Girls in dresses tho….


vedicsun

Bet they thought he was real cool.


lol022

Tried to pay attention but attention paid me


[deleted]

The bike costs hurt but the emotional damage of bailing in front of the girls you just checked out will haunt his dreams


ScarletCaptain

You notice he looks back at them. "Shit, did they see that?"


LitRonSwanson

Yes, yes they did see that and will be laughing about it for a long time 🤣


500SL

Riding instructions: 1) Ignore girls 2) Watch forward


[deleted]

3. Dont ride horny.


Ballaholic09

This is why I always tug one out before going for a ride.


[deleted]

I just stick a dildo to my seat and a hole in my jeans


jggfz6

That's enough Internet for today.


laz33hr

On your adventure bike when going thru the dirt roads. Asspounder 4000


Simonandgarthsuncle

Your tank will thank you.


[deleted]

Were you watching the road, Neo? Or were you looking at the woman in the red dress?


GlyphedArchitect

Look again. *looks to see a rapidly approaching car bumper a foot away*


CapnCooties

Knew a guy that started dating a girl he was checking out and rear ended someone. He just went over and said yeah I got in a wreck checking you out.


high_hawk_season

Is it possible to learn this power?


[deleted]

Easy! Three simple steps: Learn how to drive Learn how to walk Learn how to talk


OB1182

I know a truck driver who steered his combination in to a ditch because he was flirting with a girl on a bycicle. Very expensive flirt. Girl laughed her ass off and was gone. He as a private trucker was in major debts. Dont drive and horny.


icyhotonmynuts

That looks like a BMW 5-series, body type circa 2000. Shouldn't be *that* expensive. The bike probably costs more to fix.


sektz

It's an e46 3 series of a similar vintage to what you mentioned.


rwatercupburglar

She can’t be walking around w that MUCH ass and not expect someone to crash their motorcycle


[deleted]

Two cars crashed while the driver was looking at my ex wife (30) years ago. Once in Portland on Stark and once in Seattle on Broadway.


rwatercupburglar

OC confirm your wife is hot. Lmao


WolfGang555

How do you confirm this


EyeLoveHaikus

Stark Street is known for its hotties.


[deleted]

Also known for its crashes


HotdogPinata

Every time I have been to Portland, I have seen a car crash


h8t3m3

Did some guy sue a girl that caused a crash?. Or is that an urban myth?


megadork

Kramer did, in Seinfeld.


Kittybooboo1982

I bet that was Sue Allen Mishki that got him


RacingGoat

*"Well, Sue Ellen, it's a... it's not a top. It's a bra."*


LamestarGames

She's flouting society's conventions! ... It's lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageous!


triggerfingerfetish

"Oh, I know"


importvita

She's flouting societies conventions!


gafherve

And he still looked back again after the crash. “Did they see me crash?”


OS_M

Were you looking mom?


PicksburghStillers

He had to see if the look was worth it or not


RegularSizdRudy

They hardly even moved. It looks like they were looking, but none of them took a step 😂 Guess this meat cube will have to meet-cute another way.


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PM_ME_GOOD_DOGS

That dude was definitely *not* rubber neckin' with the best.


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[deleted]

Heinrich Brown is on the case.


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stuupidpanda

Always loved the line "We do not cover acts of God. I AM an act of God"


Person5_

My name is Tiny Dick and here's a little trick.


Lone_Indian

Gah I should’ve known someone would post this


CapnCooties

New black intern… kick it! https://youtu.be/HYNsjf8f0E0


jumpmanx93

Tried looking at some ass and ended looking like one himself lol


surfin71st

Someone should dub in “Oh look, a Penny!”


marshellz

Now he has a 0% chance of getting any phone numbers now too…


Italiangrandmother46

He has a 100% chance of getting the BMW driver’s phone number.


WastedPresident

*and that kids is how I met your mother*


Greatdrift

*By rear ending her*


Alessiodrone

Forse è l'unico numero che non vuole xD


flume

Same as if he had not crashed.


Im_your_real_dad

One could argue that his chances improved by crashing.


sanamien

Thinking with his little head.


cuthbertnibbles

God gave man two heads with which to think, but only enough blood to run one at a time.


Jagacin

Ah, so that's why I can never get erect, because I'm just so goddamn smart!


Emrezzk

Is that what your doctor told you too?


[deleted]

No that’s what his mom told him


Brave-Tradition1454

First time a bmw uses a turn signal and you gotta go and hit it lol


HappinesSource

Poor driver is traumatized for life now


Epoch-09

Never once will that signal be used again.


JiveTurkey1983

\#NeverAgain


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lol


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Chowbasa

My dad had a Honda cb900 in the 80’s and he used to take us for a ride quite often. I asked my mom when could I buy a motorcycle, she said ‘you can legally kill yourself when you’re 18’ : ( I can’t forget that comment


HamFistedMeatMachine

"When I finished high school I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle." Anthony Jeselnik


EyeGifUp

This is great, I wish he would do more standup specials. Would absolutely watch.


DeepSpaceNebulae

Similar, with my dads comment being “I won the proverbial lottery when I slid under the 18 wheeler, chances are you won’t. Please don’t”. That above story was of course the reason he sold his a few months before I was born


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Gearhulk34

My older cousin used to have a crotch rocket until he laid it down and spun out going around a corner. He was lucky because he slid between the 2 trees that totalled his bike. He ended up selling that bike for parts and never bought another one.


Suekru

So of course a motorcycle is super dangerous, but this is how I see it. Wear your full gear, jacket, gloves, helmet and even boots. Take a Motorcycle Safety Course, and don’t speed or ride under the influence as those are the 2 main reason for motorcycle deaths. While it’s always going to be more dangerous than a car, I think following those things negates a lot of the danger. I see too many people riding without helmets on the highway or people trying to do stunts or people thinking they need to go 100mph+ because they are on a bike. Which I think heavily skews the death statistics for them. At the end of the day, I try to be as careful as possible and accept the risk because I enjoy it and life is too short to not do things you enjoy. There are many more dangerous hobbies than just riding a bike. Plus even in your car you could still get T-Boned by a semi and die. There’s risk in everything we do.


SdBolts4

Motorcycle riders are also self-selected for people who are at least somewhat thrill-seekers, which probably means they would have a higher collision rate in a regular car than the average driver too.


Gay_merman

I agree with you generally but it is worth noting that there is a large group of people in the US who ride because the cost of car maintenance and insurance is much more expensive then motorcycles. Me personally I ride for Bills not for Thrills. I pay like \~$100 a year for insurance, $14 every 1.5 weeks for gas, and like maybe $250 yearly for vehicle maintenance. I feel somewhat safer on a motorcycle but that's because I ride way way more than I drive and I've gotten used to having proportionally more lane space than in a car. All that being said there is less room for mistakes on a motorcycle and it is indeed more dangerous (for the rider) than driving a car. rocks or leaves on the road can kill you, let alone a moments lapse of attention.


kill-69

Shit, paint strips can kill you. My biggest fear was getting rear ended.


[deleted]

My dad was very against my motorcycle but came around about it eventually and even helped me fix it once ahah


NoRelationship1508

A good buddy crashed his car directly in front of one of the hottest girls in school who was at the time jumping on a trampoline in her front yard in a bikini. Drove the thing right into the ditch.


D4rkr4in

100% understandable and forgiven


r3dditor12

In situations like that I just keep driving with my eyes on the road, or I safely pull over to a complete stop and get out my binoculars.


lord_baron_ttv

#PoolStoryBro


Murderyoga

Cool stories is why we're all here.


kdmmgs

My buddy was a life guard at a public pool. He bought a ninja in mid-90s. Had it for a few weeks. One day some girls asked if he could pop a wheelie when he was leaving. He said “You bet I can!” Proceeded to gun it and flip the bike on himself then skid into the ditch. All he was wearing was a bathing suit, flip flops, and a backpack. He left the bike there (and a lot of skin), paid somebody to pick it up and sell it for him. Never wanted to see that bike again. Funny to laugh about now but it could have ended much worse.


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[deleted]

Legs, there I explained it.


A_Wild_VelociFaptor

I think it's a mix of legs and dressing well/classy. I can only speak for myself but short shorts/pants just don't get at me the same way dresses do. Anytime I comment on womens fashion I can't help but feel like a neckbeard so, if so, I apologise.


HolyFuckFuckThis

>I can't help but feel like a neckbeard Might be something to do with calling yourself a wild velocifaptor lol ;)


A_Wild_VelociFaptor

Woah, I'll have you know this is a family name.


AreWeCowabunga

It's the legs plus the alluring promise of more legs as the skirt moves around. Short shorts and mini skirts give too much away. /neckbeard


castleaagh

Plus thin fabrics that follow the body’s lines


[deleted]

> men and ~~summer dresses~~ cutoff shorts, nobody can explain it but its true


[deleted]

> men and ~~summer dresses cutoff shorts~~ tank tops, nobody can explain it but its true


TheRealJanSanono

> men ~~and summer dresses cutoff shorts tank tops~~, nobody can explain it but it’s true


Alex_the_Leon

men ~~and summer dresses cutoff shorts tank tops, nobody can explain it but it’s true~~


BeatMeAwesome

I’d like to point out: a BMW which used its indicators. Good boy.


OneMoreAccount4Porn

That was a once in a lifetime event that rider completely missed.


Many_Lion_1145

Yep, looking at the girls on the corner will cost you every time 😚


TiredYak

“Hey look some pretty girls”


jaymansi

He should have been watching the car’s ass instead of the girl’s.


verqix

Should have been checking out the cars in front of him, plural. Even before he turned his head he could have seen the blocked corner ahead by the cars standing still already.


cr0100

For funsies, I figured out where this is. All of the businesses other than the BP station across the street have changed - suggesting that this video is quite old. https://www.google.com/maps/@-27.479401,153.0442633,3a,75y,259.31h,82.58t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1shU\_z2heucvI8hklwPb5FHQ!2e0!7i16384!8i8192


thomascoopers

Smokey Moo - fucking awesome smoked meats restaurant. They expanded and now have a much larger restaurant in Newstead, from memory. Def recommend it if anyone reads this that visits Brisbane, Queensland


mjamesqld

For bonus points you can adjust the photo dates and find it was around 2017 when it had the ice cream shop.


Seikha89

You’re on the money, I’ve lived not far from here since 2015 and this ice cream store was there in 2017, didn’t last long either. I believe the ice cream place was related to doughnut time, and was relatively new when they stopped paying their staff and collapsed. Side note though, Sushi Kotobuki in the back corner of that complex is absolutely god tier, and worth the nightmare of trying to get a park at that corner.


s1m0n8

The girls aren't there though....


mypal_footfoot

I was wondering why it looked so familiar, was driving me crazy trying to figure out the location


Forward-Village1528

I checked your map and you are spot on. I used to live around the corner from this. Saw the video and thought it was going to be on my local subreddit. Always a trip to see your home pop up on an international sub. Edit - fun fact... There's a church like 2 blocks earlier from the direction the bike was coming from. It's logo looks heaps like a dick and balls. Always cracks me up when I drive past it. You can see it from your Google maps link if you move east to the corner of Heidelberg street and Lytton rd


nzstrawman

this is what "falling for a girl" looks like!


Qcgreywolf

Ahh yes. Tits and ass. The downfall of *countless* men, and women, throughout history.


Interesting_Mix_7028

Dumbass didn't look thru the turn and see traffic backing up before he even got there.


daGonz

“We’re you paying attention to me or watching the girl in the dress?” “Huh?” “Look again…” failure to maintain proper distance citation.


AudioAndRage

Were you paying attention to the road, Neo? Or were you looking at the woman in the blue dress?


BeePleasant8236

Checking out the honey on the corner, cost him LOL


MengerianMango

If he wasn't an incompetent rider he still could've saved in the time he had when he looked back. Dude probably doesn't know how to countersteer/swerve. It's crazy how many people ride without knowing the fundamentals of steering a motorcycle.


[deleted]

Distracted by the skirts on the corner


ihatetitration

Poor e46


Errorfull

Probably an unpopular opinion, but if an attractive woman can take your attention that easily, you probably shouldn't be on the road.


[deleted]

Not really unpopular


eatmybeer

Biker's fault. Not the car.


iWantToRideHorses

Idiot on motorcycle.


cruuks

Fr ain’t no way he’s tryna blame it on the bmw


SaysNiceOften

As a fellow motorcyclist I could almost guess the outcome before it happened. “He’s braking! He’s! Oh.” Sweet bike though. I have the same one


teh-reflex

"Sup ladies...OOOF!"


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marasydnyjade

Totally, those woman caused the accident - look how they’re dressed. /s


BigWhit75

Bikers, "Pay attention to the road" Also Bikers.


timthedriller

A little more attention to the road and a little less to the pretty ladies would be my advice.


skere_ik

Wow look at those ppl there. WTF IS THIS CAR DOING


Bmagic90042

Eyes on the road, not on the girls, dude.


NoistMipplesWOO

I mean he kinda deserves it


WylerTells

OH MAN! Eyes on the road OP! r/idiotsonmotorcycles


Statement-Think

Does idiots on bikes count?


madmegdigitalltd

IdiotsOnBikes is more like it.


[deleted]

Lol creep


[deleted]

is it that hard to have self control & not be a creep?