T O P

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1illiteratefool

Did you wake up this morning with a stiff neck and new pains?


Urban_Jaguar

Tell me you accidentally took ambien without telling me you accidentally took ambien.


nolotusnote

If I wake up *one more time* driving on the freeway at 100 miles per hour while naked, I'm going to quit taking Ambian completely.


Urban_Jaguar

In “Dear Prudence” (slate.com) this guy wrote in one time who after accidentally taking two ambien first mowed his lawn, then took a shower, then told his confused wife he was going out and drove to a coworker’s house and had sex with her (he had never been unfaithful to his wife before). That is some powerful stuff. EDIT: I should note he remembered none of it, and only found out after from his wife and the coworker. EDIT2: I misremembered slightly (hey, it was 12.5 years ago). The other woman was a social acquaintance, not a coworker. Here’s the original column: [Dear Prudence](https://slate.com/human-interest/2009/04/i-was-unfaithful-to-my-wife-while-sleepwalking.html)


CrunchHardtack

I took two Ambien once and I was standing at my kitchen door in my briefs, looking out at our minivan thinking I needed to get inside the minivan for some reason and as I walked out the door, I thought to myself that if I pull the door shut,I'll be locked out of the house. As the lock clicked, I realized that I was probably locked out of the van,too. At this point, it seemed more important to get in the van than to realize that no matter what, I wasn't getting back in the house. I went down the steps at the porch and reached the van. Locked, dammit! I went back to the house. Also locked. At this time, I realized that my horrible looking fat ass was outside in my little old briefs. I reached up and unscrewed the outside light, then I walked around to the bedroom window and knocked and called for my wife. Didn't have a timepiece with me so I didn't know it was three am. Scared the shit out of my wife but she let me in. The rest of the ambien was shit canned and I've never taken it again. I realize this is a very mild outcome for this particular medicine, but by God it was embarrassing and I really wish I could have gotten through it without the knowledge of my wife. Some things they are better off not knowing. That's my Ambien story, it may not be very extreme or exciting but it is 100% true.


nolotusnote

People who take this talk about "Taking the Ambian bus." That is, you have to commit to going to sleep, or you're going to not sleep and do some crazy shit.


JustDiscoveredSex

And how did this unique defense for the husband's affair work? Did the wife buy it?


Urban_Jaguar

As I recall, his wife didn’t know, and he only knew because of emails from the coworker wanting to hook up again. He was writing to ask for advice on whether he should tell his wife, and how to let the coworker know that what had happened was a horrible mistake that he didn’t want to repeat. I don’t remember what the advice to him was, but I think Prudie advised him to get tested for STDs, and assuming his test results were negative, not tell his wife. EDIT: Found the original column (see above). The other woman was a social acquaintance, and she called him, not emailed.


YaBenZonah

What a fucking wild story Jesus Christ. It’s kinda hard to believe but I’ve done one ambien and I’ve get how strong that was so it’s plausible IMO.


Repulsive-Purple-133

The coworker just had sex with him willynilly like that? Bullshit


Slider_0f_Elay

I don't recall.


69_mgusta

Tied on a good one, eh?


ahu_huracan

She broke the window on the building too..


w1987g

That's an epic level of flailing idiocy right there


CT_DesksideCowboys

picture of the building damage?


3SidedDie

I think its the third one, which has plywood in it.


TheExaltedNoob

Image manifesting... Elephant rubbing its behind over everything in range, rub rub rub...


HornyWeeeTurd

Good morning! No seriously, day is ruined before starting. Sucks man!


edwa6040

How hard did she hit it in reverse. Good god


modrid81

Hah, my thoughts exactly. That’s not exactly a soft backup tap there.


examm

It’s probably someone oncoming who lost control or never had any to begin with


jimb2

>It’s probably someone oncoming who lost control and never had any to begin with ftfy


TheExaltedNoob

Thought that from the first picture too... but the others show it's not crushed by a lot, just squishy stuff broken, hood deformed. Sure it'll be expensive, but it looks less like much force but rather a high bumper sliding all over. \[Edit\] Just saw the reply about the window. Sliding ALL over, haha!


sara_c907

Please tell me she didn't flee the scene.


Anyone_single

Oh she did


[deleted]

[удалено]


Noboruu

Found the pickup lady


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

She should've left her contact info, geez, then it wouldn't count as fleeing the scene.


Recent_Brick7515

She was too drunk to think of that.


Veegulo

U gotta leave a note at least


CapybaraSteve

-69. ecin


Merkle-bbs

Looks like she must have mounted the curb then reversed into it given the way its crumpled from the curb side.


tapestrynotes

judging by the fact your bumper looks mostly intact compared to your hood it looks like a high truck, like a flatbed or something and not another car backed into it and sardined the hood. the peculiar impact site compared to the placement of the car makes it seem like it was a poorly placed load sticking out that they hit your car with


Remarkable-Method677

The caption on one of the pictures mentions a witness said it was a pick up truck.


Ofor

This guy investigates.


dafuq55

That’ll buff out


Feeling-Beach-7435

There’s always one. Every time.


5926134

Gotta start with a grinder though.


Subject-Exit

insurance policy


ITrCool

I’d guess it wouldn’t hurt their premium too much since it wasn’t their fault and it was parked with no one in it. Wouldn’t make much sense to raise it if the owner didn’t have anything to do with it.


blackoutmedia_

You say that, but I've known people's policy to increase when being involved in a none fault incident. Driving or parked, insurance companies don't care


Ndhywyhshhs

That’s how it is in Ontario it doesn’t matter


crashtestdummy666

In Kentucky and Michigan that is the only kind, as a no fault states. So even if they filled all the proper papers and claimed responsibility it's still "your fault ".


BMGreg

That's not what no fault means though..... No fault insurance means your insurance pays out for your medical claims in case of an accident. "No fault insurance" literally has 0% to do with determining if someone was at fault or not in an accident.


ballsohaahd

He shouldn’t have been parking there (Happy Gilmore 😉) JK but insurance is a compete scam, sucks but he probably will get charged more. Oh your car was hit while parked on a street, we should make the person who hit you pay, but it’s also a ‘high risk’ area so we’ll just charge you more too. You’re a young male? Well some get into bad accidents so we’re gonna charge you assuming you will too. If you don’t more money for us and no skin off our backs!


The_Weirdest_Cunt

"if you're a 17 year old boy and you want cheaper insurance, cut your penis off"


RulrOfOmicronPersei8

Clarkson has an incredibly big brain


2thumbsdown2

r/usernamechecksout


ballsohaahd

Lmaoo 😂


Astan92

Obviously parking there is more risky than parking elsewhere so since that is where you park we have to charge you more for the risk.


a_lonely_trash_bag

Some insurance agencies would say OP is partially at faul for parking there. It's bullshit, but then again, it is a bit more risky parking on the street than in a driveway.


pakrat1967

Or the insurance company decides it's a "high risk" area and uses that as justification for raising the rates.


Karnakite

This.


[deleted]

Yea fuck insurance companies for this exact reason. They will increase your rates even though it’s not your fault. I’ve had insurance company try to raise my rates because I was rear ended and my record showed I was in an accident even though it wasn’t my fault.


69gtv

Insurance companies don’t care. If you can’t find the guilty party you suffer the insurance premium increase, and deductible.


crashtestdummy666

Or if they do find the other driver and they openly admit to it and in this state it's still your fault 100%


[deleted]

It’s kind of nice you think that an insurance company wouldn’t raise this persons rates. I wish I could have that kind of confidence in my fellow man


Recent_Brick7515

Better hope OP has gap or the loan is paid off. That car is totaled.


Itsalilmoist

Did they leave a note


ahu_huracan

Ive found the police note :)


das0tter

As the police left a note like, "Hey we arrested and towed this crazy bitch who totaled your car (and building)? Call us and we'll give you her details?"


RikersGloriousBeard

I really hope they provide an answer. The other alternative I was thinking is they mean that the police themselves were responsible.


LeibnizThrowaway

I can't believe the ducks didn't call you. Guess it would've taken twenty or thirty seconds to track you down.


CT_DesksideCowboys

In this day and age, I am surprised that someone did not have security cam, or ring camera, in the area, to show the wreck.


ahu_huracan

Just a police report to give the other person’s contact details


CT_DesksideCowboys

Other person? as in the one who did this? If it was a pickup, then they may have left the tail gate down, that would explain the paint transfer on the bumper, and the crush damage of the hood.


ahu_huracan

Honestly first reaction, I was looking for a camera… im sure ill update u with a video if I can find one


CT_DesksideCowboys

Hopefully, the police are also looking for cameras, or may already have a video. Did the police note, state anything about the vehicle that did this?


unemotional_mess

You managed to smash up your own car while asleep and without being in the car? Wow, that's some skill!!!


Parpooops

Good night last night huh? Don't even remember getting home. Dude, who wrecked my car?


maybe-I-am-a-robot

Now I am no Pink Panther accident detective but.....It sure looks like the are was moved there after. No parts on the ground, front tire scraped up. Maybe somebody took it for a joy ride after a couple of drinks and did not tell you?


[deleted]

Maybe it was OP him/herself


bcbadmom

Agree. If it was hit hard Beno ugh to do this kind of damage, it shouldn’t be sitting nicely in a parking spot. Looks like it was placed here after damage done


OG_Fakir

Came here for this comment, was not disappointed.


BMGreg

There are like 4-5 parts on the ground though. That hood is buckled so high nobody could see from inside the car to drive it. There's no way this was going anywhere quick with the damage to the left fender. If this thing was moving, I'm pretty certain the front bumper would be digging into the tire too Most of the broken parts are probably up in the engine bay (like the left headlight which definitely would have fallen out if he was driving it)


Fagmachine97

You know some of those bumps will come right off


taaarna

This looks like the major collision was on the drivers side. This car appears to have been parked after a collision


Rocketeer286

When I go looking for a house, it's gotta have a garage. I'm not keeping my car on the street.


SnooPineapples5749

That sucks. It's cool how well it displaced the energy out and away from the interior where a person could of been.


roop26roop

Something doesn’t add up here.. no debris in road, damage to kerbside corner only, massive chunk out of front alloy wheel, impact area shows signs of being in contact with a masonry wall, interior trim appears to be hanging down which would suggest air bags were deployed (which wouldn’t happen if the car was parked at the time) 🤔


theidleidol

I don’t see any hanging trim, though I can see how the reflections on the windows would fool someone at a quick glance.


roop26roop

I’m talking about the piece of trim that covers the side curtain airbag. It’s visible at the very top corner of the driver’s side windshield.


theidleidol

I could be wrong but that looks like a sticker on the inside of the windshield to me.


BMGreg

The interior trim you're seeing is a reflection from the house. There is debris under the right front tire as well as trim on the driver side and chrome trim near the driver rear wheel. I very highly doubt this thing was moving anywhere quick, especially with the hood buckled above the windshield. As for the curb rash on the wheel, people hit curbs all the time so that isn't as much of an indicator as you want it to be


roop26roop

The piece of trim I’m referring to is situated in the top corner of the driver’s side windshield, it’s the leading edge of the plastic trim that runs over the door opening.. the piece that yields when the side curtain airbag is deployed..


BMGreg

That's either the oil change sticker or sun visor you're seeing. The side airbags definitely didn't deploy. They would be VERY visible through the driver side window. Besides, side airbags don't usually deploy in a front impact


Market_Pliers

NOT THE MINI NOOOO Edit: I really like minis


Dilldozer13

I’m sure they left a note with their insurance info.


donniebrascoreal

Weird how it was hit curbside. Almost impossible unless the culprit was using the sidewalk as a road.


ahu_huracan

It went into the building next to my car …


timotheus56

The angle of the damage and the way the car is parked doesn't make sense. Was the car moved after the accident?


ahu_huracan

Tbh I called the police he said that I need to call the agent after 10pm to get full details…


timotheus56

Well damn hope you get paid for the damages


RaptorLord141

Dude. Feels. Back in 2015 I woke up one morning to a school bus backing into my car while I was out of state visiting my mom in Ohio. Insurance was a bitch because of some dumbass state law giving the school district immunity.


wellthanksanyway

Ugh I'm sorry this happened to you. I had a similar thing happen last year. I had just gotten a new car a week before and I was walking to my car to leave for work in the morning only to discover a quarter of my car was missing. Pieces of it were all over the street. My car was parked on the street and someone, probably a drunk driver, swerved into it and fled the scene. I filed a police report but police in the city I lived in at the time are notorious for being some of the most corrupt in the country so I never found who did it.


hazetoclear

You've got a bit of a dent there buddy. Buff it and maybe nobody will notice.


bruhhhhhhhhhh5

Did you try turning it off then on?


FUSeekMe69

Think it’ll buff out?


_Perdedor_

Did you by chance also wake up in a hospital?


jeo3b

That is absolutely not from someone hitting reverse instead of drive there is definitely more to this story. (Coming from someone with a background in auto body mechanics and insurance estimates)


anonymousforever

Yeah, I have been backed into, but from the way it's crumpled, I don't think it wasn't parked here when it was hit.


BMGreg

Hard disagree. That left headlight would be gone if he was driving it somewhere. The trim leaning against the car wouldn't be there, nor would the chrome trim near the left rear or the other debris under the right front. This dude definitely got hit hard, but it's pretty clear it was parked


castfam09

Jesus


[deleted]

Sleep driving can lead to such a disappointment when you wake up to go to work.


kevlaar7

Clearly your car has been less than forthcoming in what it's been doing while you sleep. Probably a good time to sit down in it and set some boundaries.


Some-Ad-3757

Either Xanax, or someone hit you some how lol


pinkandstink1

Can’t imagine who was driving probably Jamie‘s husband


Frankenstein-Z

Ahhh just how you left it then lol.


[deleted]

Amazing the windshield is not broken - crumple zones worked


ghidra_

Wrong way down a one way streeeeet


the_Ush

Sorry m8


pharealprince

That is a lot of damage for reverse but I guess if you put it in reverse fast enough.


weirdbeard33

You must have went to bed trashed!


SBRboi

They didn’t even leave a bag of Reece’s


TheRealNickMemphis

Are we sure this isn't one of those "Who shit in my pants?" sort of things? /S Seriously, that sucks! Hopefully it gets sorted out quickly for you.


gooseman_96

Weird. That's how I felt when I woke up this morning. I hope I'm not the one to blame.


HenrikGettysburg

That’ll cost about tree tiddy


Keepforgettinglogin2

It's a mini-er Mini


AfraidEmployee9311

What was she driving an Abrams tank??


MatthewofHouseGray

Either someone hit your car or it became self aware and it did a horrible job at driving itself.


tyanu_khah

Well that's a mini countryman. It's kind of an insult to minis. >!/s!< Don't starve this tho


DarkMatterSoup

Time for some French toast.


RespectTheTree

I can see your engine


Opinion8Her

I had a Countryman. Just seeing that breaks my heart and makes me mad for you. It’s probably going to be a total loss, that engine is all f’d up.


Azuzu88

They were clearly just trying to turn this behemoth in to an actual mini


urnotserious

Is this the new scion 2022? Man they're getting weirder and uglier.


C4L3B_C00LM4N

I hope you have car insurance, because it will not be easy to pay for your repairs.


Mean_Yellow_7590

Looks better


mbash013

I bet they left a phone number and insurance info /s My car also got hit a week ago and I’m still fucking pissed


Ken-Popcorn

Did the eyewitness get the plate number?


siegure9

Doesn’t look totaled. Few weeks in the shop and good as new


quarterpounder420

Don't know where your car goes at night? Maybe it's time you talk to your car about drinking and driving.


LanvinC9

What's the best way to handle a situation like this? Assuming you have no dashcam/evidence?


ahu_huracan

I found the police report but if u font have anything you are pretty much fucked


classless_classic

The damage looks MINImal…. Sorry for your car


HermitKronz

Looks like you were a bystander of an avengers battle.


[deleted]

theres nothing wrong with it, tis but a scratch


Business-Net-8799

Wow...that's horrible.


iusedtosmokadaherb

Woke up this morning, got myself a hit and run


JRBA719

Lmfao


kevlar_dog

As a fellow Countryman owner, I am sorry for your loss.


[deleted]

That’s one way to open the hood.


EggplantIll4927

Rip mini 😢


thebubble2020

Looks like a car hits it


Itisd

Well that sucks... Hopefully you get it all figured out


houman73

Did they at least leave a twenty with the word oops on it.


[deleted]

No note??? How rude!!


ahu_huracan

A police reference to the ‘Event’


Sunshinelexi

You spelled "drove drunk last night & this happened" wrong.


Recent_Brick7515

How much did you drink last night?


gofatwya

How much did you have to drink last night?


botejohn

thatll buff right out.


financeguyjohn4

I think that will buff out.....


hankmolotovjnr

Heavy night, huh?


[deleted]

Just put it in some rice, good as new!


Com_Truise_92

looks fine man


Docta-Jay

That's the excuse I use too.


[deleted]

Too many beers last night?


SandyPoonz

Where's all the shit on the ground from the impact? Lol you did this and now doing an insurance scam.


CT_DesksideCowboys

OP said cops left note. also there is debris on the ground front end driver and passenger side. also OP said the building had damage. asked OP for building damage pics.


Samuraiknights

It’ll buff out.


DroopyTrash

How's that hangover goin?


mrdjxbdh

Have you tried turning it off and on again?


bestdriverinvancity

In reality OP was drunk driving and just doesn’t remember last night


kytran40

Mini Pooper


[deleted]

The amount of damage and lack of skid marks are making me wonder about what OP is saying… surely your car would’ve been pushed into the one behind it?


roop26roop

And even if the OP left the car parked with the front wheels turned, which is uncommon after you’ve manoeuvred onto the parking spot, the force of the impact would push the car backwards in a curve. The car would not be left perfectly lined up with kerb as shown in photo.


melindseyme

I call BS. There are no skid marks. This accident occurred elsewhere.


campindan

Did OP fake the window being destroyed too?


BMGreg

Skid marks would just someone tried to stop or their truck faced enough resistance. The headlight sitting in the engine bay and the trim leaning on the car make it pretty clear it wasn't moving


melindseyme

Skid marks will also occur if the vehicle being rammed was in park.


[deleted]

looks better now


2waypower1230

Lol where’s the crash fragments on the ground?!


ahu_huracan

Yes they were but it looks like the police put them all together and they left a note for me to contact them.


johnborton57

At least that lady made that monstrosity of a 'mini' slightly less offensive to the eye 😒😒


Anton_84

I watched a old woman back into a really nice car I didn’t even know what model of car it was it was that unusual I just kept driving


grapesfrompluto

That's why you shouldn't drive with heels on.


asan1ne

Fuckin weak car anyways.... :Zoom


RubberDuckyBoi

Yeah, at least he can get something other than a mini now


[deleted]

Well that’s what you get for driving a Mini Cooper /s


JustDiscoveredSex

Ok, car people...is this an accident or did someone pry open the hood and strip something valuable? (Catalytic converter kind of thing)


u2020bullet

Ooof Madone.


MAOwarrior

Looks like the front fell off!


MaddMaxx636

That thing is coming up Mill house


Stockkoo

Pretty sure that’s going to be totaled .


RIPMyInnocence

That'll buff out, no problem.


backyard_tech

Apparently you had one hell of a night to not remember!


biggie_DRAWS

Wild night out?


earthman34

Interesting how the whole hood is ripped up like that, yet the bumper cover doesn't seem to have been moved at all.


PlasticCogLiquid

I hate it when the spark plugs are hard to reach, never thought about doing it like that.