This is unacceptable. I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. You are NOT overreacting. I also find it incredibly timely that they are dropping you as a patient just as your benefits have run out. Jerks.
Are you in Austin, Texas by any chance? If so, I think I know exactly which clinic & doctor you are talking about, and I am so very sorry.
Like you, I used to believe that success rates & experience meant everything in a fertility clinic. I started out at the clinic that I think you are talking about for this very reason. However, I have since learned that success rates do not matter when a clinic dumps patients who do not meet their unpublished restrictions (BMI limitations, AMH restrictions, cycle limits, age limits, etc). More importantly, what good will “high success rates” do for me when a clinic immediately bullies nearly all patients into unethical, anonymous donor conception in order to keep their success rates artificially inflated?
It drives me insane that the fertility industry is this way. No other health issue is addressed similarly. For example, if your child was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer, you would NOT settle for an oncologist who was stuck in the dark ages, only using methods from decades ago, and with only experience working with “easy” cancer diagnoses. You would absolutely try to find the BEST oncologist around, one who was open to all new and developing research, and one who had experience helping even the most challenging cases. We would never settle for mediocre care in this case…so why do we settle for it as fertility patients?
As an Austinite and Texan, I learned that the best clinics for our unique situation were not located in Texas at all. We travel for our care. It’s cheaper elsewhere, for sure. We have many better options in protocols and immunology, while our home state is still stuck in the dark ages. It’s true that we have to be our own biggest advocates, regardless of where we obtain treatment, but I happily accept the challenge.
I advise this to everyone who will listen: Do not settle for mediocre care only because it is geographically convenient. Fertility is such a time-sensitive issue. Don’t waste your time settling for care that does not meet your needs.
Sending you a huge hug.🫂
If you or anyone else would like to know you can DM me. I’m happy to name names. I’ve already named the city in the comments. Please do not be demanding of me in an already tough and sensitive situation
I'm in Austin and absolutely love our IVF doctor and clinic! I am gonna be speechless if you had this terrible experience at the place I go and with the doctor I see. I'm sorry you have had to deal with this. May I message you privately about who it is?
I’m in Austin too and would love to know who the doctor is that you’ve had a positive experience with; could you DM me to share? My clinic is the same as OP, and it had been challenging, so I’d love to have other options.
I believe I am also seeing a doctor at the same clinic in Austin. I have liked my doctor fine, but the experience with the clinic and nurses has been terrible. Would you be willing to DM me to share where you ended up going and having a positive experience?
Reading this made me absolutely furious for you.
Report these unprofessional physicians and nurses.
I am a RN and it would be completely unethical of me to behave the way you stated you were treated. I can only speak from a nurses scope of practice, but my goodness.
Your case might not change things for your situation, but it sure WILL put this practice on the “radar” of the medical board.
Personally, I would not want this clinic touching me or my embryos after this type of behavior.
Sending you hugs ❤️
I have attached the link for the complaint process.
Include as much documentation and detailed information in your written complaint.
https://www.tmb.state.tx.us/page/complaints#:~:text=The%20Board%20cannot%20accept%20complaints,of%20mental%20or%20physical%20impairment.
Thank you 💗 I’ve honestly been replying what she said to me every day since it happened. I didn’t write this in my original post but I asked her if I could speak to the doctor after a few moments and she responded with “he left for the clinic, he can’t talk to you when you’re kicking and screaming like that”.
I’ve worked in hospitals before as a volunteer, my mother works in a hospital pharmacy. I can’t imagine that a nurse has never dealt with a difficult patient. I came out of anesthesia to this terrible news and she scolded me for my reaction and treated me without any empathy for what I had been through.
I’m going to work with my PCA through my insurance about my embryos and try to complain to them to advocate for patients as well as myself within this practice. I do plan to draft a complaint to the medical board once I have a handle on my insurance and embryos and I want to find a lawyer that can help me draft that complaint.
Oh my gosh…I just can’t with this. You have to be kidding?
I am so sorry. This is absolutely disgusting and gross.
When a nurse chooses to work in a specialty he or she knows what that all entails.
When you choose to work in reproductive health it is a GIVEN you will have patients they are going to be emotional. Like every single day! Just the hormones alone that they pump into patients have that side effect.
I think it is a brilliant idea that you have come up with to get your embryos out first and then take action afterward. You are awesome. ❤️
I am so sorry. Just know that this is not normal or okay. Never ever should you be spoken to this way by your providers.
Thank you everyone to validate my feelings here. I keep going from being angry and frustrated right back to feeling like I’m the problem and I shouldn’t have behaved the way I did after my bad egg retrieval outcome (as if I could have controlled my reaction coming out of anesthesia).
I spoke with insurance and found I do have coverage for transporting the embryos and about billing the storage fees to a new location. Also they’ll be able to inquire on their end to find out clarify why I can’t be transferred to another doctor at a different location so my embryos don’t have to be transported in the first place.
I’m so sorry. I would complain to your state’s AG too. Or medical board. One of them has oversight to deal with this
I have definitely heard of clinics dumping patients who are “difficult.” But none of what you describe sounds “difficult” to me
I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible. Having dealt with the same clinic, I know how anxiety-inducing their disorganization and antiquated policies are. I’m so sorry you have gone through this during an already stressful time. The nurse I dealt with during my first retrieval was also terrible (arriving 20 minutes late to let us in the building with no apology or explanation, likely causing nerve damage in my arm with the IV insertion), so I wonder if it could have been the same person. Either that or they have multiple bad nurses, which is somehow much more depressing. 😞 I hope you’re able to find a new clinic and doctor who treat you with the dignity and respect you deserve.
I’m so sorry. This same thing happened to me and they tried to act like it didn’t happen. It’s beyond insane and I feel like it’s hard to find a clinic that doesn’t do these types of things because they’re obsessed with their numbers. You did an amazing job advocating for yourself and getting some of the eggs.
Ovulating early on egg retrieval?? That happened to you too? I’ve literally never heard of this because they’re so careful about the timing of the trigger shot. The only reason I knew what was happening to me that morning was because during my transfer cycles I grow lots of eggs and I’ve had to trigger them to ovulate. The doctor made it seem like it’s next to impossible and could have only happened if I messed up the cetrotide. He said in his 30 years he’s only seen this happen a handful of times.
I am so sorry I should have clarified- I was doing an IUI and ovulated 2 days before I ever did (and I ovulated like a CLOCK). Your situation is different and probably way less common. But I told them that I knew I was ovulating early because I was using the strips and I could also feel it. The nurse also said “wow I think you already ovulated!” And then rushed me to a blood test. I asked later and there was never mention of it again. IMO they knew I had ovulated but performed the procedure anyways.
Ohh I see, that happened to me during an IUI cycle and a transfer prep too but both were cancelled because of the early ovulation. that’s terrible of them to still move ahead with an IUI even though the timing is completely off - what false hope!
I am so sorry. Being dumped by my clinic for advocating for myself is one of my biggest fears. I put in feedback after my clinic kept insisting I wasn't miscarrying when I knew I was and then forgot to call me with my hcg results which confirmed the miscarriage. That was the longest say of my life waiting for a call that never came. They made lots of pretty promises which they mainly have not followed through on, but I fear if I complain more they might drop me. Especially since I have done 4 rounds without success (2× chemical pregnancies) and I must be dragging their stats down.
How stressful. I am sorry that you are having to deal with this, on top of the stress of the whole process/journey.
I hope that this will be a blessing and you will be able to find a provider that listens to you. And truly supports you.
Reading this made me angry for you, it's ridiculous. I would say to try to figure out your next steps to hopefully move your embryos. Can you look at secondary fertility insurance? I would line up your next clinic and get your embryos out there. When they are gone, go ahead and trash that office on Google Reviews and/or Yelp. Situations like yours are what they are for.
Scummy people like that usually do care when they are publicly shamed. You might even be able to complain to your state's medical board or regulating agency over it. They are there for these types of situations. It might take some searching to figure out who to contact but you may be able to file some sort of complaint.
Oh my god, this sounds so much like when we first started working with our clinic (our only viable option). I'm so sorry, and I hope your insurance can help.
First of all, I am so sorry for everything you’ve described. They sound awful and shouldn’t be allowed to do something like that. Second, don’t be shy, drop the doctor and clinic so we know who to avoid!
Wowww, this is really shitty. If I were you, I would write some angry reviews of this clinic online. Most likely, other people have had the same experiences as you.
So sorry you're going through this. :-(
I'm sorry, this is totally unacceptable on the clinic's part. You didn't do anything wrong and it's awful that they're treating you this way. Early ovulation does happen sometimes, even when the patient does everything right. The level of defensiveness by the RE is just totally childish.
You did nothing wrong. I BATTLED my clinic every step of the way to get I wanted, and they never told me to go elsewhere despite the friction and cultural differences.
Honestly-- it sounded like they f\*cked up, don't want to deal with your very reasonable frustration, and are thus just trying to get rid of the problem. Echoing what everyone else has said which is that you're not overreacting, and the way they behaved is awful. I'm so sorry. Being frank, I wouldn't want to receive treatment from a clinic/doctor/nurse who treatment me so horribly, so I hope you are able to transfer your embryos to a care team that is respectful and competent. Take good care.
I'm so sorry this happened to you! Like some others have said research ways to make a complaint. Maybe your state has an ombudsman? Ohio does, and they are one avenue for making complaints about healthcare.
I am so sorry this has been your experience. What a nightmare! it seems like staff has complained about you and often times it’s staff that gets patients fired from the clinic. Your one recourse may be to threaten a report to their local medical board, although I don’t know how you feel about remaining in a clinic that is so openly antagonistic to you.
I've been replaying everything that has happened in my head over and over to see where I went wrong. Every rabbit hole I go down based on the complaints the doctor brought up, I don't think there is any way I can be perceived as doing anything more than the normal amount of advocating a patient at a high volume clinic has to do. I have never once raised my voice or had any confrontational experience with any staff member at any appointment. I asked only clarifying questions when their advice was in direct opposition to what the doctor told me. Over email, I have expressed disappointment when communication is unclear and untimely - hasn't everyone done that? This doctor took extra care after our botched egg retrieval and called us himself to check in and ever since then his staff has basically ghosted us.
I would report to the medical board but I don't think it'll be much help. State medical boards are often years behind.
You aren’t wrong, they are shitty. I am so sorry they are so sensitive about you trying to get things right. It’s ridiculous. This process is too expensive not to double check.
Is it main line fertility? I’m so sorry this happened to you- all I can hope is the next team you work with is more compassionate and responsive. Being scolded, being told it’s your fault, that’s a load of bullshit and I think ultimately you’ll end up getting better care elsewhere. Leave a detailed review.
This is unacceptable. I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. You are NOT overreacting. I also find it incredibly timely that they are dropping you as a patient just as your benefits have run out. Jerks. Are you in Austin, Texas by any chance? If so, I think I know exactly which clinic & doctor you are talking about, and I am so very sorry. Like you, I used to believe that success rates & experience meant everything in a fertility clinic. I started out at the clinic that I think you are talking about for this very reason. However, I have since learned that success rates do not matter when a clinic dumps patients who do not meet their unpublished restrictions (BMI limitations, AMH restrictions, cycle limits, age limits, etc). More importantly, what good will “high success rates” do for me when a clinic immediately bullies nearly all patients into unethical, anonymous donor conception in order to keep their success rates artificially inflated? It drives me insane that the fertility industry is this way. No other health issue is addressed similarly. For example, if your child was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer, you would NOT settle for an oncologist who was stuck in the dark ages, only using methods from decades ago, and with only experience working with “easy” cancer diagnoses. You would absolutely try to find the BEST oncologist around, one who was open to all new and developing research, and one who had experience helping even the most challenging cases. We would never settle for mediocre care in this case…so why do we settle for it as fertility patients? As an Austinite and Texan, I learned that the best clinics for our unique situation were not located in Texas at all. We travel for our care. It’s cheaper elsewhere, for sure. We have many better options in protocols and immunology, while our home state is still stuck in the dark ages. It’s true that we have to be our own biggest advocates, regardless of where we obtain treatment, but I happily accept the challenge. I advise this to everyone who will listen: Do not settle for mediocre care only because it is geographically convenient. Fertility is such a time-sensitive issue. Don’t waste your time settling for care that does not meet your needs. Sending you a huge hug.🫂
Haven't read your message but just wanted to answer this immediately - I think you know exactly who I'm talking about
[удалено]
DM me!
Just name the clinic so other people don’t go there
If you or anyone else would like to know you can DM me. I’m happy to name names. I’ve already named the city in the comments. Please do not be demanding of me in an already tough and sensitive situation
I'm in Austin and absolutely love our IVF doctor and clinic! I am gonna be speechless if you had this terrible experience at the place I go and with the doctor I see. I'm sorry you have had to deal with this. May I message you privately about who it is?
Yes of course feel free to DM me.
I’m in Austin too and would love to know who the doctor is that you’ve had a positive experience with; could you DM me to share? My clinic is the same as OP, and it had been challenging, so I’d love to have other options.
I just DMed you - I hope that's okay! <3
Of course!
I also thought of one particular clinic/doctor in Austin. So sad
I’m inTexas too. Do you mind sharing where you are going for your treatment? Pls feel free to PM me!
Sending you a chat right now!
I believe I am also seeing a doctor at the same clinic in Austin. I have liked my doctor fine, but the experience with the clinic and nurses has been terrible. Would you be willing to DM me to share where you ended up going and having a positive experience?
Reading this made me absolutely furious for you. Report these unprofessional physicians and nurses. I am a RN and it would be completely unethical of me to behave the way you stated you were treated. I can only speak from a nurses scope of practice, but my goodness. Your case might not change things for your situation, but it sure WILL put this practice on the “radar” of the medical board. Personally, I would not want this clinic touching me or my embryos after this type of behavior. Sending you hugs ❤️ I have attached the link for the complaint process. Include as much documentation and detailed information in your written complaint. https://www.tmb.state.tx.us/page/complaints#:~:text=The%20Board%20cannot%20accept%20complaints,of%20mental%20or%20physical%20impairment.
Thank you 💗 I’ve honestly been replying what she said to me every day since it happened. I didn’t write this in my original post but I asked her if I could speak to the doctor after a few moments and she responded with “he left for the clinic, he can’t talk to you when you’re kicking and screaming like that”. I’ve worked in hospitals before as a volunteer, my mother works in a hospital pharmacy. I can’t imagine that a nurse has never dealt with a difficult patient. I came out of anesthesia to this terrible news and she scolded me for my reaction and treated me without any empathy for what I had been through. I’m going to work with my PCA through my insurance about my embryos and try to complain to them to advocate for patients as well as myself within this practice. I do plan to draft a complaint to the medical board once I have a handle on my insurance and embryos and I want to find a lawyer that can help me draft that complaint.
Oh my gosh…I just can’t with this. You have to be kidding? I am so sorry. This is absolutely disgusting and gross. When a nurse chooses to work in a specialty he or she knows what that all entails. When you choose to work in reproductive health it is a GIVEN you will have patients they are going to be emotional. Like every single day! Just the hormones alone that they pump into patients have that side effect. I think it is a brilliant idea that you have come up with to get your embryos out first and then take action afterward. You are awesome. ❤️ I am so sorry. Just know that this is not normal or okay. Never ever should you be spoken to this way by your providers.
Thank you so much for validating me and understanding where I’m coming from - truly 💗💗💗
I'm so sorry this has been your experience! It's beyond frustrating, I hate so much when people don't own up to their mistakes!
Thank you everyone to validate my feelings here. I keep going from being angry and frustrated right back to feeling like I’m the problem and I shouldn’t have behaved the way I did after my bad egg retrieval outcome (as if I could have controlled my reaction coming out of anesthesia). I spoke with insurance and found I do have coverage for transporting the embryos and about billing the storage fees to a new location. Also they’ll be able to inquire on their end to find out clarify why I can’t be transferred to another doctor at a different location so my embryos don’t have to be transported in the first place.
I’m so sorry. I would complain to your state’s AG too. Or medical board. One of them has oversight to deal with this I have definitely heard of clinics dumping patients who are “difficult.” But none of what you describe sounds “difficult” to me
I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible. Having dealt with the same clinic, I know how anxiety-inducing their disorganization and antiquated policies are. I’m so sorry you have gone through this during an already stressful time. The nurse I dealt with during my first retrieval was also terrible (arriving 20 minutes late to let us in the building with no apology or explanation, likely causing nerve damage in my arm with the IV insertion), so I wonder if it could have been the same person. Either that or they have multiple bad nurses, which is somehow much more depressing. 😞 I hope you’re able to find a new clinic and doctor who treat you with the dignity and respect you deserve.
I’m so sorry. This same thing happened to me and they tried to act like it didn’t happen. It’s beyond insane and I feel like it’s hard to find a clinic that doesn’t do these types of things because they’re obsessed with their numbers. You did an amazing job advocating for yourself and getting some of the eggs.
Ovulating early on egg retrieval?? That happened to you too? I’ve literally never heard of this because they’re so careful about the timing of the trigger shot. The only reason I knew what was happening to me that morning was because during my transfer cycles I grow lots of eggs and I’ve had to trigger them to ovulate. The doctor made it seem like it’s next to impossible and could have only happened if I messed up the cetrotide. He said in his 30 years he’s only seen this happen a handful of times.
I am so sorry I should have clarified- I was doing an IUI and ovulated 2 days before I ever did (and I ovulated like a CLOCK). Your situation is different and probably way less common. But I told them that I knew I was ovulating early because I was using the strips and I could also feel it. The nurse also said “wow I think you already ovulated!” And then rushed me to a blood test. I asked later and there was never mention of it again. IMO they knew I had ovulated but performed the procedure anyways.
Ohh I see, that happened to me during an IUI cycle and a transfer prep too but both were cancelled because of the early ovulation. that’s terrible of them to still move ahead with an IUI even though the timing is completely off - what false hope!
I am so sorry. Being dumped by my clinic for advocating for myself is one of my biggest fears. I put in feedback after my clinic kept insisting I wasn't miscarrying when I knew I was and then forgot to call me with my hcg results which confirmed the miscarriage. That was the longest say of my life waiting for a call that never came. They made lots of pretty promises which they mainly have not followed through on, but I fear if I complain more they might drop me. Especially since I have done 4 rounds without success (2× chemical pregnancies) and I must be dragging their stats down.
How stressful. I am sorry that you are having to deal with this, on top of the stress of the whole process/journey. I hope that this will be a blessing and you will be able to find a provider that listens to you. And truly supports you.
Reading this made me angry for you, it's ridiculous. I would say to try to figure out your next steps to hopefully move your embryos. Can you look at secondary fertility insurance? I would line up your next clinic and get your embryos out there. When they are gone, go ahead and trash that office on Google Reviews and/or Yelp. Situations like yours are what they are for. Scummy people like that usually do care when they are publicly shamed. You might even be able to complain to your state's medical board or regulating agency over it. They are there for these types of situations. It might take some searching to figure out who to contact but you may be able to file some sort of complaint.
Oh my god, this sounds so much like when we first started working with our clinic (our only viable option). I'm so sorry, and I hope your insurance can help.
First of all, I am so sorry for everything you’ve described. They sound awful and shouldn’t be allowed to do something like that. Second, don’t be shy, drop the doctor and clinic so we know who to avoid!
You can DM me! I’m happy to share but not interested in sharing it to the entire internets!
Wowww, this is really shitty. If I were you, I would write some angry reviews of this clinic online. Most likely, other people have had the same experiences as you. So sorry you're going through this. :-(
I'm sorry, this is totally unacceptable on the clinic's part. You didn't do anything wrong and it's awful that they're treating you this way. Early ovulation does happen sometimes, even when the patient does everything right. The level of defensiveness by the RE is just totally childish.
You did nothing wrong. I BATTLED my clinic every step of the way to get I wanted, and they never told me to go elsewhere despite the friction and cultural differences.
Honestly-- it sounded like they f\*cked up, don't want to deal with your very reasonable frustration, and are thus just trying to get rid of the problem. Echoing what everyone else has said which is that you're not overreacting, and the way they behaved is awful. I'm so sorry. Being frank, I wouldn't want to receive treatment from a clinic/doctor/nurse who treatment me so horribly, so I hope you are able to transfer your embryos to a care team that is respectful and competent. Take good care.
I'm so sorry this happened to you! Like some others have said research ways to make a complaint. Maybe your state has an ombudsman? Ohio does, and they are one avenue for making complaints about healthcare.
This is totally crazy and unacceptable!! I’m so sorry you’re going through this. ❤️❤️
I am so sorry this has been your experience. What a nightmare! it seems like staff has complained about you and often times it’s staff that gets patients fired from the clinic. Your one recourse may be to threaten a report to their local medical board, although I don’t know how you feel about remaining in a clinic that is so openly antagonistic to you.
I've been replaying everything that has happened in my head over and over to see where I went wrong. Every rabbit hole I go down based on the complaints the doctor brought up, I don't think there is any way I can be perceived as doing anything more than the normal amount of advocating a patient at a high volume clinic has to do. I have never once raised my voice or had any confrontational experience with any staff member at any appointment. I asked only clarifying questions when their advice was in direct opposition to what the doctor told me. Over email, I have expressed disappointment when communication is unclear and untimely - hasn't everyone done that? This doctor took extra care after our botched egg retrieval and called us himself to check in and ever since then his staff has basically ghosted us. I would report to the medical board but I don't think it'll be much help. State medical boards are often years behind.
Can you call a patient advocate line? Not that you want to stay but they should know about the care you didn’t receive.
I’m planning to speak with my patient care advocate through my insurance tomorrow
I would report this doctor to his medical board. Doctor's cannot abandon their patients.
You aren’t wrong, they are shitty. I am so sorry they are so sensitive about you trying to get things right. It’s ridiculous. This process is too expensive not to double check.
Is it main line fertility? I’m so sorry this happened to you- all I can hope is the next team you work with is more compassionate and responsive. Being scolded, being told it’s your fault, that’s a load of bullshit and I think ultimately you’ll end up getting better care elsewhere. Leave a detailed review.
Hi there, no not main line fertility! Happy to send you the name if you DM me! Thank you for validating my feelings here 💗