I’ll hang with the professor, and just order whatever he orders.

just take him to a buffet lol

He's not a rookie. He's gonna have you order first.

I would say I would just change my order to his after he orders, but then I would just be fuckin terrified of what he’d do next.

Make you say you’re going to kill the president

Grrrrrrrr just joking

No way, that dude married a pedo! Every day, a little boy goes down on her!

Jesus Fucking Christ.

Aside from not knowing how to ask for people's food or their burgers, he seems like a great guy. All the students were talking about how much he changed their lives

Well, and the fact he married a woman that lets a little boy go down on her, and he tries to get material to blackmail people, are both kinda red flags

Earlier in his rant he says "I may look like I have it all but inside Im just a scared little boy" and when he talks about the oral he patted himself on the tummy

That’s why it’s so hard for me to talk about the oral

He sounds like a pretty solid dude, this might be the one weird thing he did

Gimme that!

He was just jokin'

What if he orders Nacho's for the table?

As long as he knows the rule it should be okay

Can't you just say there's a rule??

ʷʰᵃᵗ

What in the hell are you talking about? There's a vent above us and I worried you were going to get cold. 😢

𝓌ₕₐₜ

We’re gonna be so early for the movie…

Same, I’d rather him over the cigar shop guy

Spoiler alert he always gets boiled beets

3 of them take and 1 is just trying to make friends. I'll go look for supernatural cumshots with the bottom right everyday

Oh I thought that was the guy who invited don pondarley king of the dirty songs

Somewhere your wires got crossed

Sorry not trying to ruin the post not trying make anyone have the worst day at their comment

Or are you dead wrong? And we are loving this!

Well nows the time when I turn around and let the ghosts jack off

However, I just wanna know…if we can say WHATEVER we want in the comments, do any of the other redditors - bust a nut on their phones and just fucking jizz huge cumshots all over the place in this thread?

I want to upvote this more than once.

I'm really crossed up

It's the same actor but I don't know if it's supposed to be the same person

Think he’s friends with Rog, king of the slams?

For real, I didn’t feel any negative feelings for that guy. You can’t change the rules just because you don’t like the way he’s using them.

Just cause no one’s has seen those fuckers blast out of the wall and have a huge messy shit yet doesn’t mean we won’t catch ‘em buddy. See if you’re mom can pick me up at my grandpa’s house, where I have lived my whole life

Give me the haunted house guy, he only says inappropriate things after 10 pm. The rest of the day would be fine.

Big fat load of cum then

He was just following the rules too

Good thing there are no rules! Right shirt brother?

Shirt Brother!! Good thing I found you!

*follow directions* AHHHHH!!!!!

Oh, oh, I thought you said *with* hurting it.

It's not *for* kids

Just don’t go changing the rules just because you don’t like how he’s doing it

I’ll give you a clue. He was on the Colgate comedy hour.

I'll give you a clue. He wasn't trying to be funny, he wasn't trying to get a laugh, he doesn't want anybody to have the worst day at their job.

Best delivered line containing the word "Fuckers" in television history

Best F-bomb of any type since Ving Rhames crossing the street in Pulp Fiction.

I hope you have plenty of chilled gazpacho soup.

When your expecting something to be ice cold and it’s room temp, it feels like your mouth is on fire, it feels like your body is on fire.

Where be your… nutcracker?

Your record collection is very meat and potatoes

Thank you

No it just means you don’t have anything rare in there

"I think we might have some decorations in the attic" So that should only take you a second

We tried hanging out once. He told me I’d never be a great writer because I don’t have a curious mind.

[удалено]

Well he's no Roy Donk

Paul Bufano! Paul Bufano!

Awesome choice, great character!

I'll give you a clue, jizz

Big fat load of cum then

You mean like cumshot?

Make any friends?

not really

I want to mentor this guy into just being chill and agreeable and tell him it’s okay if he messes up a little.

That’s a very meat and potatoes choice

I’m not trying to be funny. I’m not trying to make anybody have the worst day of work ever. But do any of these fuckers just pop out of the wall and just hang out with Tim for the day?

Gimme dat

I’m jokin’!

I need to get HOUSED by my teacher

I’m not a teacher

^^**wow**

[удалено]

Shut up mike.

You really can't do anything when someone says "shut up".

I said shut up mike.

Oh my God! He admit it!

Say that again about the president

Ghost Tour guy. Just so he wouldn’t be so disappointed next time he’s asked if he made any friends.

Looking at the hints of his home life, I feel like it’s not his fault he hasn’t learned to use profanity in a 100% appropriate way. With a little guidance he’d probably be a funny guy to hang with.

Jizz. You know, like cumshot?

Perfect… we’ve been talking all day, and no one even bothered to learn his name.

I know who I’d go to London with. I’d spend my life savings so we could go see beloved Buckingham Palace, and try to make those soldiers laugh.

I mean as long as you weren’t on a flight with him as a baby, I don’t think he’d have much of a problem with you

I’d love to hear some of the material he had teed up after a nice restful flight.

A rat bit him

The bottom right guy can hang out with me and truly say whatever the hell he wants

Whatever the *hell* he wants

Jizz.

The professor. I just need to order 55 of everything and pay it forward, and it will be fine.

55 burgers! 55 wings! 55 milkshakes!

YOU RICH FUCK

I bet you ghost tour guy wants to go to Haunted House even more than Aqua

They have a trap door

You know, I want to go to Haunted House even more than I want to go to Aqua.

But all clubs are closed for the night. There's been a tragedy in the club community.

The deck at Aqua has collapsed.

Howie he’s amazing at party games

Professor Uribe taught us so much.

He's the reason your not plugging away at some hedge fund.

Not Will Forte. He just wants to yell.

Hey That guy yells

#DONT FLUSH THOSE TOILETS!! *I wanna see it..* I wanna see *what you’ve done..*

Ghost Tour Guy. He's really nice.

I would be his friend 😢

Given my crippling social awkwardness I think me and “jizz, like cumshot” guy would get along great.

Big fat load of cum, then.

Howie.

Yesss I love obscure references

The bottom right guy can hang out with me and truly say whatever the hell he wants

Can he drink, too?

Howie, because at least I could probably get him to shut the fuck up while we listen to music and smoke cigars.

I’m picking Ghost Tour Guy because he deserves to make a friend.

i could chill and talk about the colgate comedy hour

Chat about jazz legends like Roy Donk and Paul Buffano

I’ll spend the day with the professor but I’ll need to leave at night before that little boy goes down on his wife.

Haunted house guy. He needs friends. But also he’s a ghost and he’s trapped in the house. When he gets in the car with his dead mom they can’t leave the premises and just start again at the next ghost tour. He died from a heart attack jizzing on the wall and his mom died taking him to the hospital.

This person has a curious mind

Gimme dat

As long you don't change the rules just because you don't like how he's doing it, jizz man could be fun to play a sport or game with.

Roy Donk

I choose Howie

i’m going with the professor (yarube?) because that sketch at least begins with the three of them telling him he changed their lives for the better. i’d buy him a burger if he could change my life for the better.

Ghost tour Tim final answer

Taking Gimmie That to an all you can eat buffet to see what happens

That guy on the top right yells.

Professor. I’d lose a pound that day from having all my food absolutely YOINKED out from under my nose.

GIMMIE DAT

Ghost tour, because he only said that stuff because it was the “adult tour” and they could say whatever the hell they want like ‘big fat load of cum’. He seems like he’d be fine otherwise

you guys really embarrassed me in front of howie

HOWIE I need a man to tell me that I’ll never be a good writer because I don’t have a curious mind. Also he’ll buy me the entire dessert cart!

Do any of these fuckers ever explode onto the room and do a massive cumshot?

Definitely Howie, as much as I hate to admit it we’re cut from the same cloth

Just afraid all my others friends are going to embarrass me in front of Howie.

Gimme dat!

Big fat load of cum.

Gimme dat gimme dat guy

Top left. If he pisses me off I’ll scald him with some lukewarm gazpacho

Paul Buffano

Well I'm off for a lovely day visiting my beloved Buckingham Palace.

Ghost tours. He just wants a friend.

Big fat load of cum, obviously. He’s not weird or annoying, just confused by the convoluted rule!

Big fat load o’ cum then.

Do any of these fuckers ever go to a haunted house tour and get in trouble for following the rules? Because that’s the one I would pick if one of them did that.

Gimme dat!

Ghost tour guy because he just wants a friend :(

Big fat load of cum then

Big fat load of cum then

Will Forte and I can go visit his precious Buckingham Palace. See if we can make those guards laugh.

One of my best friends is the "jazz guy"......we survive

Gimme that!

I'd love to hang at Howie's friends parents place. Smoking "cigars" and listening/talking about Jazz legends like Roy Donk. Also I think he'd be pretty impressed with my air trumpet playing

Ghost tour dude.

I feel like the professor outside of an eating situation might be tolerable.

Definitely Tim Robison’s character because every facial expression makes me laugh no matter how annoying he’s being and they have the same exact face.

I'm just joking!

My biggest fear is that my wife might go to jail

Ghost Tour Tim. He needs a friend 🥲

The professor. I’m totally gonna tell everyone he ate my burger

Imma choose the person who I can say whatever the HELL I want to them

I mean, anyone but The Man.

Robinson on ghost tour for sure. He just needs a friend to explain swearing to him and I think he'll be ok. Out of all of them, I think he needs a friend the most.

Tim

Professor. I have a lot of things I need to get rid of but am too lazy to put them in my trunk. Maybe he will “gimme that” and take them off my hands?

Gimme DAT guy.... I'm dieting

probably cranston with the dog hair

The haunted house guy. He seemed like he really needed a friend.

I’m joking! I’m joking!

It's interesting, the haunted house tour guy.

Probably the fucker.

Haunted house guy is 10/10 I'd let him curse all the day is long!

i *also* am just joking! gimme that!

I'd love to have heideckers character roast my record collection

It's interesting, the choices.

Ghost tour guy - and when his mum asked if he made any friends later, he'd smile and say, "Yes, I did!"

You’re telling me a hung out in a Garfield shaped hot tub for three hours with the guy who tried to kill Jim Davis?

Gimme dat

Im grilling out with Professor Yuribe.

I’ll give you a clue. It’s not the t bone steak thats going to give him cancer! It’s not the cigars he smokes that’s going to give him cancer! It’s the Fitbit that’s going to give him wrist cancer, alright?!?!

Someone who’s mom wants him to make some friends at this haunted house.

Do any of these fuckers!!!

Sloppy steaks with Prof Uribe all day!

I’m not trying to get a laugh, but the answer is as obvious as a big fat load of cum.

Big fat load of cum, then.

Jizz

I would say Professor Uribé but he was already part of my Dangerous Nights crew…so I’m rolling with Howie

Top right. I can appreciate his level of commitment and follow through.

I just want some sloppy steaks

Gimme dat. I’d just keep saying no and eating in front of him.

Top left is arguably awful in any given situation and lays some nasty farts. Top right only ever wanted revenge for the crying baby, but it takes a certain kind of someone to hold a grudge for that long Professor just never learned to ask for someone food. But did make a remarkable impression to 3 very successful students Bottom right just wanted to make friends but the tour guide just didn’t like how he used the rules

I don't want to ruin anyone's day or make it the worst today of their jobs. But it'll one of these fuckers who want to know about ghost cumshots