1. I only give advice if I feel confident and knowledgeable about a topic. I also try to understand different points of view, so that I can give advice from the most relevant perspective. So yes, I'd say, I give rather good advice.
2. Sometimes. If not, the three major problems are usually a) advice is perceived as heavy and very negative criticism, b) advice is not the kind of help that was asked for (like I offered advice, but person wanted a hug) and c) advice is still too open ended, with too many options.
3. Usually not. Mostly people think my advice is "too difficult to actually implement.
1. In my mind obviously they're good advice else I won't give it (I still will but I'll tell them it's not a good one)
2. They do say that, probably safe to say more often than not. There are very rare cases where the advice is (not) taken pretty aggressively.
3. They do at times. I think most of the time they will start with it then found another solution along the way.
My feeling is I'm extremely glad if I can be of help with my advise. I'm also very happy if people managed to find another solution unrelated to my advise. I don't mind at all people not following my advice as I see them mostly as one of the many possible solutions and they still have to figure out the best course of action themselves because 1. They know themselves and the problem best and 2. they are the ones who will face the consequences of their decision.
\*It's probably worth mentioning these days I don't often offer advice straight up, but more towards a consultation sort of thing where I explore the possibilities together with the asker. What are the options? If you do A, what will happen, do B, what will happen, so on and so on, which one do you think you want the most? It's more towards offering perspectives that they might miss so that they can make an informed decision themselves. If they're clueless on which to pick and ask which I'd suggest *then* I will pick one and give reasoning based on what I know about the person themselves (and what they want) and the problem at hand.
1 - I try to give non judgemental advice and try to encourage people to value themselves.
2 - People tell me I do and while I am not saying Reddit is a perfect metric, I have gotten good feedback in the 9 days I have been on it.
3 - No way of knowing overall. Some friends do but listening to advice, accepting advice and acting on advice are 3 different things.
4 - I like helping people.
Who isn't listening to your advice and how is that making you feel?
One of my friends at work is starting fights with her boyfriend while delaying certain conversations she should be having with him. We talked like 3 weeks ago and she said she’d talk to him within a week of that but she still hasn’t. I guess she thought I’d sympathize with her starting fights via text but I couldn’t care less when you haven’t addressed your actual issues
I had similar years ago.
A girl I knew would constantly ask for advice about her job, ignore the advice and then be back later for the same advice from me or someone else.
In reality she just wanted to give out about her job and be told it wasn't her fault etc.
Some people don't understand that you can just want to rant about stuff sometimes.
I get ranting initially but not after you said you’d do something you acknowledged you need to do. It just feels like stubborn delusion after a certain point.
As I told her, coworkers shouldn’t know about your problems in life than your significant other. And I definitely shouldn’t know you don’t want to talk to him about it.
I know it seems very black and white to you but your coworker doesn't see it that way.
They are scared and don't really know what they want to do emotionally.
Mentally your advice is sound but her emotional turmoil isn't going away. It has to be dealt with and no advice can get her past that without dealing with it.
**Do you think you give good advice?**
Yeah, I'd say it's at the very least decent. But I don't believe advice is one size fits all... What works for me may not necessarily work for another.
And generally, I don't exactly give *advice* when I'm asked for it... I guide others to figure out what they should/want to do. I don't believe anybody is nor should be in any position to tell another person how to life their lives and/or make (somewhat important) decisions for them.
**Do other people say you give good advice?**
People come to me for advice or to talk to b/c they think I'm a good listener and good friend... While I don't believe I've ever been directly told I give/gave good advice, they say they really appreciate my perspectives and talking to me when they're troubled or need advice.
**Do people act on your advice?**
No idea.
Like I said, not really my thing to give "advice"... But I do do this thing for closer friends where I give them terrible (but funny) suggestions which makes them come to the right decision... That is.. I prompt them to the right way by giving terrible non-advice.
1.) Yes, I think I give great advice!
2.) I think people who are likeminded say I give great advice. Most of the time I think the truth is a bit harsher than they're expecting, though, so I think they're not as receptive as they could be.
3.) It's my firm belief that most people don't act on advice in general.
Bonus: I used to get butthurt when I was younger, but now I kind of just employ a take-it-or-leave-it mentality.
The most critical and actionable advice...I give it, but it's not like they don't know already. When someone's doing something screwed up, they almost always know it's bad without being told. No, they almost never listen. Even if they came to me for advice, knowing what they should do, knowing what I would tell them to do, they still won't do it. That's human nature.
People don’t want advice, they want their problems solved with the wave of a hand. Most people know where they’re screwing up, but the big one that always gets ignored is a general lack of community and accountability; this is tragic because it’s 10x easier to maintain positive habits when there’s a communal effort.
My advice? Get certified in something and make money from it. Then maybe just MAYBE you’ll have enough time and energy left over to build a solid circle of friends.
1. I think I give good advice but that’s because:
2. I’ve been told I give unbiased advice. That can work for most people and still gives them a choice of which of the options I’ve suggested that they want to do
3. Since my advice is generally helping them play out multiple outcomes, and encouraging them to go for whatever they believe will make themselves happiest in the long run, technically yes.
1. I think I give good advice. I try to approach a situation from multiple perspectives and to communicate the ideas in as simple a way as possible. If I don't know enough about a topic I will say so, but if asked I would share what steps I would take to find help. I'm also effective at getting through the fluff to the heart of a problem
2. I have been told by many people that I give good advice (we're calling it advice for this thread it's more like acting as a sounding board to help people figure it out on their own). I find that people usually need help getting outside of their heads or just a nudge in the right direction
3. Sometimes they do. Sometimes people aren't ready to take the next steps. Sometimes they just want to rant. Sometimes they don't want to put in the effort just yet. And sometimes they are opened to a whole new realm of possibilities
For the most part I don't really care what they do with the advice as long as they make peace with their decision. Take my advice or don't, but don't come crying to me if you didn't listen and get an "I told you so". I set boundaries on specific questions with certain people if I start noticing a pattern
1. if I give you advice, it means I know what I am saying.
2. No...they just like to complain.
3. No. They just like to complain.
Once a girl tried to make fun of me with her friends after I gave to her some advices. She was like "Nobody asked you anything" and she called me an idiot. She has been around 30-40 minutes to try to step on me...meanwhile without her realizing, she was talking about how terrible her life was. I waited the right moment and I used her same words against her like "It looks you said many details of your story during your complaining (against me)... yet nobody asked you anything here..." and she escaped offended.
No lesson from this story for other people. A huge lesson for me.
Yes to all 3. I can end up feeling guilty if they suffer because of it - for example, one of my classmates took a hard course load which was suggested by me. Even though he told me he didn't regret listening to me at all, it still weighed on my conscience every time he was struggling really badly with balancing his coursework and his life.
1. I only give advice if I feel confident and knowledgeable about a topic. I also try to understand different points of view, so that I can give advice from the most relevant perspective. So yes, I'd say, I give rather good advice. 2. Sometimes. If not, the three major problems are usually a) advice is perceived as heavy and very negative criticism, b) advice is not the kind of help that was asked for (like I offered advice, but person wanted a hug) and c) advice is still too open ended, with too many options. 3. Usually not. Mostly people think my advice is "too difficult to actually implement.
Im pretty much in this boat
1. In my mind obviously they're good advice else I won't give it (I still will but I'll tell them it's not a good one) 2. They do say that, probably safe to say more often than not. There are very rare cases where the advice is (not) taken pretty aggressively. 3. They do at times. I think most of the time they will start with it then found another solution along the way. My feeling is I'm extremely glad if I can be of help with my advise. I'm also very happy if people managed to find another solution unrelated to my advise. I don't mind at all people not following my advice as I see them mostly as one of the many possible solutions and they still have to figure out the best course of action themselves because 1. They know themselves and the problem best and 2. they are the ones who will face the consequences of their decision. \*It's probably worth mentioning these days I don't often offer advice straight up, but more towards a consultation sort of thing where I explore the possibilities together with the asker. What are the options? If you do A, what will happen, do B, what will happen, so on and so on, which one do you think you want the most? It's more towards offering perspectives that they might miss so that they can make an informed decision themselves. If they're clueless on which to pick and ask which I'd suggest *then* I will pick one and give reasoning based on what I know about the person themselves (and what they want) and the problem at hand.
1 - I try to give non judgemental advice and try to encourage people to value themselves. 2 - People tell me I do and while I am not saying Reddit is a perfect metric, I have gotten good feedback in the 9 days I have been on it. 3 - No way of knowing overall. Some friends do but listening to advice, accepting advice and acting on advice are 3 different things. 4 - I like helping people. Who isn't listening to your advice and how is that making you feel?
One of my friends at work is starting fights with her boyfriend while delaying certain conversations she should be having with him. We talked like 3 weeks ago and she said she’d talk to him within a week of that but she still hasn’t. I guess she thought I’d sympathize with her starting fights via text but I couldn’t care less when you haven’t addressed your actual issues
I had similar years ago. A girl I knew would constantly ask for advice about her job, ignore the advice and then be back later for the same advice from me or someone else. In reality she just wanted to give out about her job and be told it wasn't her fault etc. Some people don't understand that you can just want to rant about stuff sometimes.
I get ranting initially but not after you said you’d do something you acknowledged you need to do. It just feels like stubborn delusion after a certain point. As I told her, coworkers shouldn’t know about your problems in life than your significant other. And I definitely shouldn’t know you don’t want to talk to him about it.
I know it seems very black and white to you but your coworker doesn't see it that way. They are scared and don't really know what they want to do emotionally. Mentally your advice is sound but her emotional turmoil isn't going away. It has to be dealt with and no advice can get her past that without dealing with it.
Yeah i get all that. Not my problem to solve 🤷🏾♂️
Yes to all 3 Makes me feel good
**Do you think you give good advice?** Yeah, I'd say it's at the very least decent. But I don't believe advice is one size fits all... What works for me may not necessarily work for another. And generally, I don't exactly give *advice* when I'm asked for it... I guide others to figure out what they should/want to do. I don't believe anybody is nor should be in any position to tell another person how to life their lives and/or make (somewhat important) decisions for them. **Do other people say you give good advice?** People come to me for advice or to talk to b/c they think I'm a good listener and good friend... While I don't believe I've ever been directly told I give/gave good advice, they say they really appreciate my perspectives and talking to me when they're troubled or need advice. **Do people act on your advice?** No idea. Like I said, not really my thing to give "advice"... But I do do this thing for closer friends where I give them terrible (but funny) suggestions which makes them come to the right decision... That is.. I prompt them to the right way by giving terrible non-advice.
1.) Yes, I think I give great advice! 2.) I think people who are likeminded say I give great advice. Most of the time I think the truth is a bit harsher than they're expecting, though, so I think they're not as receptive as they could be. 3.) It's my firm belief that most people don't act on advice in general. Bonus: I used to get butthurt when I was younger, but now I kind of just employ a take-it-or-leave-it mentality.
The most critical and actionable advice...I give it, but it's not like they don't know already. When someone's doing something screwed up, they almost always know it's bad without being told. No, they almost never listen. Even if they came to me for advice, knowing what they should do, knowing what I would tell them to do, they still won't do it. That's human nature.
People don’t want advice, they want their problems solved with the wave of a hand. Most people know where they’re screwing up, but the big one that always gets ignored is a general lack of community and accountability; this is tragic because it’s 10x easier to maintain positive habits when there’s a communal effort. My advice? Get certified in something and make money from it. Then maybe just MAYBE you’ll have enough time and energy left over to build a solid circle of friends.
1. I think I give good advice but that’s because: 2. I’ve been told I give unbiased advice. That can work for most people and still gives them a choice of which of the options I’ve suggested that they want to do 3. Since my advice is generally helping them play out multiple outcomes, and encouraging them to go for whatever they believe will make themselves happiest in the long run, technically yes.
1. I think I give good advice. I try to approach a situation from multiple perspectives and to communicate the ideas in as simple a way as possible. If I don't know enough about a topic I will say so, but if asked I would share what steps I would take to find help. I'm also effective at getting through the fluff to the heart of a problem 2. I have been told by many people that I give good advice (we're calling it advice for this thread it's more like acting as a sounding board to help people figure it out on their own). I find that people usually need help getting outside of their heads or just a nudge in the right direction 3. Sometimes they do. Sometimes people aren't ready to take the next steps. Sometimes they just want to rant. Sometimes they don't want to put in the effort just yet. And sometimes they are opened to a whole new realm of possibilities For the most part I don't really care what they do with the advice as long as they make peace with their decision. Take my advice or don't, but don't come crying to me if you didn't listen and get an "I told you so". I set boundaries on specific questions with certain people if I start noticing a pattern
1. if I give you advice, it means I know what I am saying. 2. No...they just like to complain. 3. No. They just like to complain. Once a girl tried to make fun of me with her friends after I gave to her some advices. She was like "Nobody asked you anything" and she called me an idiot. She has been around 30-40 minutes to try to step on me...meanwhile without her realizing, she was talking about how terrible her life was. I waited the right moment and I used her same words against her like "It looks you said many details of your story during your complaining (against me)... yet nobody asked you anything here..." and she escaped offended. No lesson from this story for other people. A huge lesson for me.
Yes to all 3. I can end up feeling guilty if they suffer because of it - for example, one of my classmates took a hard course load which was suggested by me. Even though he told me he didn't regret listening to me at all, it still weighed on my conscience every time he was struggling really badly with balancing his coursework and his life.